03x07 - Tough Love/A Little Dad'll Do You

[bunniefuu]

[ Lively dance music playing]

♪ A-a-a-angry beavers

♪ Beavers.

[ Bell tolls three times]

[ European police siren wailing in distance...]

[ Clank]

[ Clicking, creaking]

[ Stretching squeaking]

[ Alarm blaring...]

[ Guards shouting]

[ Beeping]

[ English accent]: step on it, miss rind.

Right-o, double- beaver.

[ Tires squeal]

Faster, you fool! Faster!

No one escapes from the sinister dr. Daggett!

[ Speaking spanish]

I don't know what you said, my swedish friend, but

It sounds menacing.

El crapatura

Fire the plot device!

Eeeee!

[ Both sigh]

[ Both scream]

[ Screaming...]

[ Screaming]

They screamed as they plummeted to their doom.

And then... [ All gasping]

All: what, what?

And then what, then what?

That's up to you.

Huh?

Hermano,i'll say it again.

The rules are like this.

The next person picks up the story where I left off.

How's that?

You can do whatever you want

Ooh! Yeah?...as long as it has dr. Daggett

And the spies trying to get

The stealth weenie to the queen of england.

Daggett: right, right

I knew that.

All right, daggie-oplasty

Why don't youtake over?

Huh? Pick someone else, norb.

[ Chuckling]: all right. Barry.

Got it.

You see, agent baby and his baby doll

Were about to realize their demise when...

They remembered...

The funky-chute.

[ Disco instrumental playing...]

Let's welcome our guests.

Smiles, everyone, smiles.

Welcome to the s.s. Positraction,my lovelies.

Join us on a cruise to the seven seas of love.

[ Kissing]

Give with the cocktail weenie, baby.

Never!

That weenie belongs

To her righteous highness

So stop with the w*r words, mojo.

If that's your vibe, so be it, groove sister!

[ Cackling]

El baby!

No v*olence, babies.

If that weenie's worth fighting for

Then settle it on the dance floor.

[ Disco music playing, crowd whooping and cheering]

[ Crowd cheering and shouting]

[ Ricocheting]

[ Wild cheering and applause]

[ Riverdance-style music and step dancing begins]

[ Music playing faster...]

[ Playing still faster...]

[ Crashing]

[ Faster and faster...]

[ Gasping]

[ Wild cheering and applause]

Aha! I've won!

Give with the stealth weenie, baby!

[ Cackling madly...]

And then...

[ All giggling and murmuring with anticipation]

Good one, barry!

See, norbutt, anybody can b*at your stinko, lame-o story.

Then you better get to it, daggie-butt, don't you think?

Eh, uh, bing raised his hand first.

That's right. Me?

Oh, uh... Well, gee, I don't know.

I've never done something like this

But I guess I can come up with something.

Like... Uh, okay: dr. Daggett takes the weenie

And double- beaver takes it back.

Then dr. Daggett takes it

And double- beaver takes it back again.

Then a big mechanical grubworm named trevor comes up

Which is really unusual because

They're mostly named bob or ed or jim.

His name made him angry.

So he ate a big wrestler.

Muy malo!

Then he looks under a rock, 'cause that's what grubworms do.

So double- beaver and mrs. Rind

Take the weenie and start running.

And they run faster and faster

[ Crashing] and run all the way to india...

Then they run to paris

And sometimes eat cake

But not too much, 'cause

They don't want to get fat like barry.

Barry: hey, baby.

Bing: sorry, bro.

So they ran to new york

Then they took a train to china

Jumped down a well and came out

In england or scotland or whatever

And they ran and ran and ran.

Then they were, uh...

They're running, and there's...

Running... [ Panting, thud]

Hah! What an amateur.

Okay, mr. Professional storyteller.

Why don't you go next?

Okey... Eh, uh, ooh!

[ Truckee grunting and growling]

Eh, uh, well, i, I would, but, uh--

Just shut your pie-hole, I'm going to go!

Now, I'm tired of hearing your excuses, lallygagger

So here goes. Ba-boom!

So, this incredibly handsome shrew

Is driving this beautiful rig, man...

Norbert: truckee!

Treeflower: the story's got to be about

The spies and dr. Daggett!

Well, who wants to hear a story about them?

It's the rules!

Truckee: oh, all right.

If you're going to get persnickety.

So... [ Clears throat]

Those three are standing by the side of the road

When this incredibly handsome shrew drives by

In hisbeautiful rig.

Oh, it was beautiful.

I mean, it had chrome for days.

And the engine was roaring like a caged lion.

No, no, two lions!

And another animal. Yeah.

And now, now it gets real exciting, okay?

The driver had to park this baby in a spot

Too small to fit a half-ton panel delivery rig.

Oh, but he was a real, he was a pro.

Muscles a-rippling, and teeth a-shining in the sun.

He didn't even drop one bead of sweat

As he slipped that big baby right in

Ba-da-boom, ba-da-bing! The end.

Daggett: what? That stunk!

What?! Youstink, you waffle-tailed tree rat!

Norbert: now, boys.

I think dag's just the one to get things going again.

Right, dag?

Uh, eh...

Norbert: well, I guess it's stump's turn then.

[ Truck crashes]

[ With scottish accent]: thine stealthen weenie is mine.

[ Wind whistles]

And with a cold breath like that of disdain, I'm off!

[ With scottish accent]: 'tis not thine, 'tis mine!

When for the queen hears of such wickedness

She shall curl in her throne.

Thy stealthen weenie is gorne!

[ Wind whistling]

Oi! Forlorn, forlorn.

Chorus: ♪ forlorn, forlorn.

Wait on your words.

Time is of the essence.

Dost thou have a plan?

Yes.

Waste no words and tell me of said devious plot

And rememberest thou

I am not a fixture.

With skill of arm and that of paw, I shall heft

Yonder log which lies as still as a bump

Upon the earth before thine feet.

Chorus: ♪ what does that mean?

Then, with great strength, I shall then fly

Causing an owie most foul

On he who have the breath of bark!

[ Thunderclaps]

Okay, you lost me.

I'm going to chuck a log at him.

[ Grunting]

Chorus: ♪ going to chuck a log!

[ Thud, dr. Daggett yowls]

Ye oldespoot!

[ Throngs cheering]

All right! Whoo!

Norbert: so, dag.

You ready to go now, huh?

Y-y-y-y-y-yeah, yes!

You sure?

Yes! I have to go now.

I got the best idea there is-a.

Okay.

Treeflower, your turn!

What the...?!

I would be glad to go.

Dr. Daggett had taken

The stealth weenie and

Disappeared onto the foggy moor.

But as they set off after him

They heard a strange sound.

[ Mechanical whirring]

[ In scottish accent:] whatever could that strange sound be?

Girl: the horde!

They've come for the stealth weenie.

[ Wind whistling]

[ Muttering fearfully]

[ Thud]

[ expl*si*n]

[ Explosions]

[ Evil laughter]

[ Wind whistling]

You want to play?

Let's play!

[ Zapping]

[ Thunderclap]

[ Zapping...]

It's time for the weather report

And the forecast says there's % chance of pain!

You did it!

You saved the earth.

Don't be so sure.

Surrender the stealth weenie.

It's far from here.

An evil supervillain has taken it and you'll never find him.

Y-yeah, that's right!

You'll never find me!

Very well

Prepare to meet your dome!

What?

I mean your doom. Doom. Yes.

And then...

Daggett:hey!

You stole my idea!

She stole my idea!

Norbert:so what?

You got a thousand stories, remember?

Well, i, i-i, uh, i...

What's the matter, can't you do it?

Of course I can do it.

Wait until you hear this.

It's going to be better than all your stories put together.

[ Grunts]

So they, uh, uh...

Uh, no, no, hm-mmm.

Spoot!

Truckee:run!

Run for your lives!

It's an alien invasion!

Treeflower: come on, dag.

Norbert: get on with it!

You have to end the story, dag.

What's the big deal?

You have to have an exciting finale.

Big finish, baby.

You know, like:

They thought they were finished when...

A beautiful butterfly landed on that big, bad ray g*n.

So he switched it from disintegrate... To love.

Then double- beaver activates his watch-o-copter

And they head off to get the stealth weenie to the queen.

And, and then trevor the grubworm comes back

But now he has wings.

And he isn't a worm anymore.

He's a dragon.

[ Roars hoarsely]

And after they give the stealth weenie to the queen

They get medals for saving the world!

You see, dag?

A big finish, buddy!

Le grand conclusion.

Barry: fine-ito.

Okay, fine.

Watch this.

The end!

Ouch! Ow.

How did you ever get a driver's license?

You drive like a maniac.

Hang in there, stumpy-- ow.

Hey, is something wrong with your ear?

Just minor infection.

Stumpy, remember

It's only a family reunion.

Just because your distant

Cousin vanity will be there

And you've had a crush on her forever

Doesn't mean you should

Ow, ow, worry.

I'll be there with you

The whole...

Ow... Time.

Me, too.

Maybe you should worry.eh.

Daggett: when cousin vanity

Finally gets here

She'll see how char-maine

Sophisticated, salve your friends are.

Then she won't be able to resist you.

It's party time

You sticks in the mud!

[ Laughing hysterically]

[ Still laughing]

Nice seeing you again, mr. Stump, mrs. Stump.

You can call me mr. Funnypants!

N-n-norbert!

Time to get this party started!

Okay.

It's okay.

It's just an ear infection.

He, uh, i... Altitude.

We... Oh, boy.

Picnic ain't a picnic

Without a three- legged race, huh?

Ooh, sorry.

You don't have no legs.

[ Laughing]

Not auntie babs!

Look at her, she's got no legs.

[ Stammering]

Don't worry, stump.

I'll stop him.

But first, I need all the idiots

To line up for the potato sack race.

Come on, let's not do it by height

Let's do it by i.q.

Whoops, not so fast.

All right.

On your marks, get set...

Norbert!

What are you doing?

...go!

Norbie! No!

No! Almost there, babsy, you big idiot!

Look out!

[ Grunts]

[ Grunts]

[ Crashes, groans]

Hey, cool tattoos.

You must be stump's beaver-hating uncle woody.

[ Echoing scream]

♪ Luck be a lady... Tonight.

Oof.

Thanks, brodder.

Here to join the party, little brother?

Hey, what happened to your butt?

Vanity is going to be here any minute.

Hey, everyone, take a look at dag's butt.

[ Norbert laughs]

Climb on the norb party bus

Or get out of the way, baby.

Only party people on the party bus.

[ Snickers]

I don't need your judgment, just get out.

All of you, just get out.

It's all under control, stump.

[ Thunder rumbles]

What's the probl... Oh, no.

[ Mexican music begins...]

Let's cut a root, mama stumparita.

You know, I bet in your younger days

You must have been much younger.

[ Laughs madly]

Come on, work with me.

[ Groans]

Okay, you sticks in the mud

It's limbo time.

Let's see how low you can go.

Make way for the lord of the limbo!

I-i-i know things look bad

But I don't think anyone minds.

Uh, um... You may not know it by looking at him

But he's actually the normal one.

I'm the one who's stupid.

Yeah.

Well, well, not, not, not stupid.

Yeah, stupid.

Clumsy, maybe. Yes.

Quick to rush in and... Sure.

All right, I'm stupid. Oh, yeah.

But we're good beavers at heart.

Really.

[ Wood creaking]

[ Thumping]

[ Stammers]

No, stump, don't leave!

Hey, daggy-wagga- dagga-doog-da

How's about a hug?

Stop it, you big, swollen, poo-poo-headed

Stupid...

Stupid guy!

[ Yells, crashes]

Look at what you did!

[ Gasps]

Norbert: i-i-i-it's vanity.

He's going to win her heart!

This is so beautiful.

You two love bugs need to be together.

In love, mucho tres, treswonderful.

[ Clunk]

Who's that?

You don't say?

The azalea says that's butch

Vanity's big butcher block of a brother.

He's always hated stump, apparently.

Wait!

Oh, no!

I know big brothers don't like to see

Their little sisters dating

But no fighting.

This is a family reunion

You know what I'm saying, okay?

Don't cause any trouble here.

Hey, what are you looking at, pally?

Dag's not afraid of you, you big, wormy blockhead!

Norb!

[ Kissing]

You're beautiful, man.

Go get him.

[ Crashes]

Ow, ow, ow-ow, ow!

Listen, champ, come on, take it to him!

Teach that oversized cutting board a big, bad beavery lesson.

[ Growling]

[ Punch connects]

[ Screaming]

Hold on a second, fellows.

You can't fight him, and he can't fight you.

Well, why...?

Why?

Because you're family, that's why.

And families don't fight

Because family means... Love.

[ Crying]

Hey!

They're hugging.

You did it, norbie! Yeah.

I don't know how, but you did it.

I did it.

I thought your spooty ear infection

Was going to ruin everything.

But, but, I guess you were right.

Altitude, shmaltitude.

[ Big crash]

Wood!

Wh-wha-wha-what did you say?

[ Screams]

Must... Eat...

Tasty... Family.

Norbie!

No!

Mmm! Yum-yum-yum-yum-yum!

Get away!

Run!

[ Blithering]

Drive, stump, drive!

We've got to find some penicillin, fast!

Wood!

Wood!

Mmm, woody wood.