01x06 - Episode 6

[bunniefuu]

The amanda showis filmed at this stage right here,

And her dressing room is in the southeast corner of the building,

So I'll need to adjust the trajectory degrees to the north.

Perfect.

......

.........

Ka-boom, please.

♪ And his mama cried ♪

Oh, that was beautiful.

[Object whistling through air]

Oh, I got to get my makeup touched up.

[Boom]

What the...

Hey, aren't you that girl--

Correct. My name is penelope taynt.

I'm amanda's number one fan, please.

I have my own amanda web site, you know--

Www.amandaplease.com.

I'd show it to you, but my laptop computer

Is pinned up against my abdomen.

All right.

I want to meet amanda, please.

Yeah, sure. Hold on. I'll go get her.

Security!

Sir?

Excuse me. My body's stuck in the wall, please.

I must meet amanda.

Boring!

Grr!

You've got to believe!

Buh-bye!

Whoo!

Aah!

Uhh!

Hey!

Lights! Lights!

♪ Na-nick, nick, nick

Shaboom!

Mm-hmm.

Howdy, actors.

Gimme!

See ya!

Camera time.

Ahh. Shaboom!

Cool guys.

Love you, dan.

Camera! Sound!

Ha ha! Coming!

Hey! Ow! Ow!

Ahh!

Boing-a-boing!

Ahh! Huh?

Look out! Ohh!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda- manda-manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Let's go!

Thank you. I got to tell you guys.

I've been feeling really weird all day.

I don't know why.

I know.

Yup, here's the problem.

There was a slice of raw bacon stuck in my shoe.

[Crickets chirping]

Hello?

I say, I had a slice of raw bacon

Stuck in my shoe.

[Chirping continues]

Amanda: is this microphone on?

What's wrong with this audience?

I don't know. They're not laughing.

Hello. Ha ha.

Amanda, the audience--

They don't speak any english.

Huh?

You're going to have to cancel the show.

They're not going to understand anything.

No way! Don't you know?

I'm not only a comedic actress.

I'm also certified to teach english as a second language.

You don't have time to teach them how to speak english.

Watch me. Ok, audience, time to learn english.

[Audience talking excitedly]

Ok, so, you all speak english now, right?

All: yes, we do, amanda.

Ok, then let's try this again.

I've been feeling really weird all day because...

I had a slice of raw bacon in my shoe!

[Laughter]

There you go.

Well, stick around,

And I'll be back in a second to do stuff. Woo!

Hey, put those checkers away,

And let's play something really fun.

What you got?

Egg splat!

How do you play?

You just heave them.

Cool!

Egg-tastic!

Yeah!

Oh! Yeah!

All right! Yeah!

I won!

Can you play egg splat outside?

Why not?

New game?!

Yeah!

All: egg splat!

Wow!

♪ Egg splat ♪ egg splat

♪ You take the eggs and you throw them at stuff ♪

♪ Egg splat ♪ egg splat

Woo! Woo! Woo!

Ha ha! Ha ha!

Yes!

Hey, kids, what you playing?

All: egg splat!

Egg splat? What's that?

Hey, I'm a mess.

[Laughs]

Egg-zactly!

Announcer: comes with semi-fresh eggs.

You kids.

[Laughing]

Announcer: egg splat from dairya.

Get one!

♪ Amanda-manda- manda-manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda show... ♪

And welcome back to

So you wanna win five dollars.

Marcie stimple, are you ready for the final question?

I sure am, tina.

I'm ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready, ready.

All right. Now--

Ready!

Ok. Now, so far you've won $..

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...

Stop it!

[Hisses]

All right, the final question,

As you know, is worth...

$..

[Drum roll]

$.! $.! $.!

♪ I'm gonna win $.!

♪ I'm gonna win $.! ♪

Yeah, yeah, look at me!

Yeah! Yeah! Woo!

Yeah, yeah! Ooh, ooh. Cramp.

Cramp. Oh, got a cramp.

Got a cramp. Got a cramp. Got a cramp.

Oh!

Ok, the big $. Question is...

Who was the th president of the united states?

Was it...

A--thomas jefferson,

B--teddy roosevelt,

C--andrew johnson,

Or d--the backstreet boys?

I know it! I know it!

I know it! I know it! Grr!

I know it! I know it!

I know it! I know it!

I know this because

We studied the presidents in mrs. Spizer's class.

Mrs. Spizer never liked me too much

Because she said that I disrupted the class.

[Growls]

She called my parents

To find out if I could get some professional help.

And they agreed to it. But, you know, my father got fired from his job.

[Buzzer]

Oh, sorry.

What?!

Time's up.

Aah!

I just want some cottage cheese!

Oh, it was andrew johnson.

Ok, let's bring out our next contestant--

Kyle rosedensen.

Welcome, kyle.

Well, tina, what's up?

Well, you could be up $.

If you can answer questions correctly.

Intense!

All right.

Finish this nursery rhyme.

Mary had a little what?

Was it a--lamb, b--dog,

C--hamster, or d--infection?

Ok, let's see.

Mary had a little...

Radio!

No. That's not even one of our choices.

Oh, bummer.

This is really tough.

I'm going to have to ask an audience member.

I pick that dude.

Oh, what's up, man?

Dude, help me out here.

Dude, I think it's a radio.

Ah...yeah.

It's not a radio.

It's a nursery rhyme.

Babies know it.

♪ Mary had a little... ♪

Andrew johnson.

Yeah, dude, that's it.

It's not it.

Well, then I'm going to have to call a friend--

My best bud leif.

All right, we're going to get leif on the phone

For you right now.

[Telephone dialing]

Boy: hello. This is leif.

Yeah, dude, leifer, help me out here.

Mary had a little what?

Dude, I just told you.

I still think it's a radio.

Ha ha. Yeah. My bud still thinks it's a radio.

[Buzzer]

Oh, time's up.

All right, kyle,

Are you ready for the emergency lightning round?

Totally.

Put seconds on the clock.

Name any color.

.

Name any number!

Andrew johnson.

What's the opposite of hot?

Way hot.

How do you spell "paper"?

R-a-d-i-o.

What's + ?

Australia.

What planet do you live on?

False.

What's the matter with you?!

So many things.

[Buzzer]

You got zero correct answers.

What does that mean?

That you're extremely unintelligent.

Ok, that's all the time we have for tonight.

Join us again next week for...

So you wanna win five dollars.

Hey, what did I win?

Nothing!

Radio!

[Buzzer]

Mom, is dinner ready yet?

Yes, little amanda.

Here your food.

Broccoli? Broccoli? Gross.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you ain't so cute yourself, chicky poo.

Aah! Mom, the broccoli's talking to me.

Mom: vegetables don't speak english.

Just eat the broccoli.

You're dumb, and you smell like a foot.

Hey, hey, hey!

Easy! Hey, hey, hey!

Ha ha. That didn't hurt.

Blblblblbl!

Oh, yeah?

How about this?

Hey, hey, hey!

I enjoyed that.

Jump on me some more, doofus.

Ha ha! Girls are dumb.

Blblblblbl!

All right! That does it.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hey, what are you doing?

Wait. Don't do that. You wouldn't dare.

Oh, wouldn't i?

Ooh! Ok, now I'm liquid.

[Whistles]

Here, yoko.

[Barking]

E lapleape.a,

Here you go.

Thank you.

Mom: amanda, are you eating the broccoli?

Ac dar as yo blockblister.

[European accent] welcome to our video store.

How am I to be helping you?

Who's in charge here? I need to see the manager.

Papa, this lady would like to say words to your face.

Look, I rented this movie here last night,

And this is not titanic.

Oh, no, no, no.

Last night you no ask for titanic.

You asked for tidanic.

Tidanic?

[European accent] yes. Is better.

Much better! Much better!

Oh, you think so? Well, play it.

[Deadpan] look at us on the tidanic.

[Deadpan] I'm the king of the world.

Woo.

Oh, no.

The boat just hit a giant ice cube.

This is problem.

The boat, she will now be sinking,

And we will become wet with water.

With water.

Yes, with water.

[Whispers] papa.

[Both moaning]

Bravo!

Bravo!

Wunderbar!

That wasn't titanic.

That was you idiots and a bucket of water.

Is true.

Thank you.

That's not the movie I wanted.

Is better.

Much better! Much better!

How you will be paying me?

Pay you? I ought to spank you.

No, no, no. Spank you.

Spank you very much.

Oh! Weirdos.

Yaga.

Welcome to our video store.

How may I be helping you?

I asked for an exercise video.

You people gave me this.

Oh, yes. This is very good exercise video.

Oh, yeah? Look at it.

Yaga.

Tv: ok.

Now for exercise, we'll do sit-ups.

Sit-ups.

Lie down.

Sit up.

Lie down.

Sit up.

Lie down.

Sit up.

Lie down.

Sit up.

Lie down. Sit up.

[Muffled] lie down.

[Muffled] sit up.

Lie down.

Sit up.

Lie down.

That's not a real exercise video.

Of course. Is better.

Much better! Much better!

That's not even healthy.

That's just your kids eating pizza and talking into a camera.

Is true.

Thank you.

If you do those exercises,

Soon, you not be so pudgy.

Pudgy? Are you calling me pudgy?

Yes.

Your behind is like big mountain.

What kind of a diseased video store is this?

Oh, we are blockblister.

Blockblister?

But I thought that this was--

No. Look at sign. See?

Yaga.

Oh, yagayourself.

Yaga! Yaga! Yaga!

Aah!

Paalo see how she runs

To lose more weight.

Run, pudgy lady. Run.

Run fast,

And soon, you will not be so pudgy.

[Laughter]

Pudgy lady. Oh!

[Cheering and applause]

Good job, guys.

It's time for

A hillbilly moment.

Hee hee! Hee hee!

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Large mallet.

Large mallet who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a large mallet.

Huh?

[Laughs]

That's a good 'un.

Hee hee!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda show... ♪

Ok, amanda, let's go. Let's go.

Sorry, johnny. Let's go, please.

Ok, let's...

"Let's go, please"?

I mean, uh, johnny, let's go, please.

Wait a minute.

Wait! Don't! Wait!

You're not amanda.

Correct.

But--

My name is penelope taynt.

I'm amanda's number one fan, please.

Where's amanda?

I don't know. I thought you were amanda.

I wish.

I have my own amanda web site--

Www.amandaplease.com.

I don't have time for this.

Stay!

View my web site.

Here's the home page

Which I update frequently, please.

This week on my web site

You can see actual bloopers from the amanda show.

View this actual mistake

When amanda forgets to say "cucumber."

Hey, hey. Knock knock.

Who's there?

Uh...

Cucumber.

Man: cut it.

That was a blooper, please.

Oh, and if you'd like to send me an e-mail about amanda,

You can click on "send me an e-mail."

Do it, please.

I will read your words.

Click, please, back to the home page,

Where you'll see tons of other amanda clickables.

Well, isn't my web site excellent? Johnny?

Johnny boy.

Hey, excuse me.

Release my arms. Why do it?

I'm amanda's number one fan!

Come on, johnny. Let's go.

Aah!

What's wrong?

Nothing. Come on. Let's go.

Announcer: from his garage, it's totally kyle.

Kyle: one time, i, like,

Climbed up this hill,

You know, like, a really steep hill.

And then I threw a frisbee,

Because, like, I can throw a frisbee

Really far.

So, I threw it,

And it went, like,

Really, really far.

So, if anybody sees my frisbee,

You know, it's mine.

Announcer: that was totally kyle.

Kyle: totally!

[Tv program running]

[All laughing]

[Doorbell rings]

Hi. You must be the new baby-sitter.

Yes. Becky swanson-- professional baby-sitter.

Well, I don't think you'll have any trouble here.

Justin and kelly are very well-behaved.

Honey, we're going to be late!

Mother: ok.

You kids be good

For the new baby-sitter, ok?

Ok.ok, mom.

All right. Have fun.

Bye-bye.

Hello. I'm becky.

Would you children like to play a little game?

Together: yeah! Sure!

We'll play tag.

Tag! Tag!

Well, it's been a little while since I've played tag,

But...not it!

Not it!

Ha ha. Kelly's it.

Hmph.

Oh, can't catch me. Can't catch me.

Can't catch me. Can't catch me.

Can't catch--

You're it.

No. I'm on base. The coffee table's base.

Uh-uh. No one called it.

I did, too.

Did not!

Did, too!

Did not! Did not!

Did, too, infinity.

Did not infinity plus one!

[Crying]

Hey, are you ok?

I'm hungry.

What?

I'm hungry.

I want ice cream now, now, now!

Ok, ok, ok.

Are you sure you're a real baby-sitter?

Yup. Bucks an hour.

Then why are you acting like such a big baby?

Why are you?!

I'm not! You are!

No, you are!

You are!

You! You!

You infinity!

You infinity plus one!

No! No!

[Crying]

Whoopee. Tummy time.

Feed me.

What?

Feed me!

What did you do that for?

You didn't do a train. Do a train.

Do a choo-choo train.

You better do it.

You got to be kidding me.

Choo-choo! Choo-choo!

[Imitates train whistle]

Yay!

Nap time.

Hey, aren't you

Supposed to be taking care of us?

Miss, miss.

Are you ok?

[Crying]

What's wrong?

You hit me.

I did not.

Liar!

My goodness.

Hey, why don't you just chill out

And watch some videos?

Ok, I want to watch flumbo.

That's for kids.

I want to watch flumbo.

Flumbo, flumbo.

You better get down from there.

Mom doesn't let us do that.

Lollipops!

Mmm. Grapy!

Purple-icious.

Hey, becky, want to play hide-and-seek?

Yeah! Hide-and-seek! Hide-and-seek! Hide-and-seek!

Not it!

That's ok.

Together: we'll be it.

You go hide.

Ok.

Together: .........

.........

.........

.........

.......

Hey, want to go catch a movie?

Yeah. I'll get the keys to mom's car.

Becky: hello?

Kids, the door's locked.

Let me out! Hey!

[Becky crying]

Yay! Woo!

Thank you so much. Wow!

[Mission: impossible theme playing]

I must find amanda, please.

Anyways, thanks for being such a great audience

And coming out to the show.

I got to go home and feed my monkeys. See ya!

[Cheering and applause]

Where's amanda, please?

That's not me.

Where's amanda, please?

I must meet amanda.

Leave me be.

Officer, why are you--

Get back, please.

Amanda, please.