02x09 - Episode 9

[bunniefuu]

Oh, so close.

Here, let me do it.

Oh, my gosh!

Why is life so cruel to me?

What's the matter?

This bag mocks me.

You're upset with the bag of potato chips?

No, I'm upset because I can't open the bag.

Here, give me them.

Here. Let a real man do it.

So, do you know any real men?

This bag is possessed.

Aw, great. Now what do I do?

Here. Give me.

Where are you going?

Wait here. I'll get this bag open.

She is some girl.

You, too.

[Soundless mouthing]

Amanda! Amanda! Did you get the chips open?

This little girl opened it.

Wow. Thank you, little girl.

No!

No!

No! No! No!

No-o-o! No!

No! Why?!

♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

[Cheers and applause]

Thank you!

My name's amanda and I contain % real fruit juice!

Thank you. Ok, so the other day, I'm chasing a squirrel--ow!

Man, I've had this pain in my side all day.

Don't worry, amanda. I'm a doctor. Hold on.

Doctor: hang on. Doctor coming through.

Excuse me. Pardon me.

All right. Now where does it hurt?

Right here. Uh-huh.

Ow!

Oh, yeah. That's probably your appendix.

We'd better take that out. Boys!

Just hop right on up here.

You're going to take my appendix out right now?

The sooner the better. Right there.

Ok. Scalpel.

Let's have a look. Ok. Yeah.

Uh-huh. Uh-huh...

[Squishy sounds]

Ah-ha. Ah.

Oh, ok. Well.

There's your appendix.

Feel any better?

No, I've still got a little pain in my side.

Really? Let's have another look.

Yeah. Oh--i--oh,

I think I see what the problem is.

Ahhh! Yeah, you got a bunny in there.

Oh, cookie bunny, I wondered where you went.

Aw, thanks, doc.

Amanda? Yeah?

I'm not really a doctor.

You're not really a doctor and you just operated on me?

[Chuckling]

Well, stick around. I'll be back in a sec with new stuff. Whoo!

[Ringing]

Hey, come on. We're gonna be late for class.

I can't go to class!

Bevan will be there, and I have this hairy mole.

Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!

Oooh! Gross!

I've tried creams, ointments, cover-ups--

Nothing works!

Then what you need is...

Little crazy hat man? What's that?

Put it on.

Now what?

Just look.

Hi! Don't look at her hairy mole!

Look at me! Ha ha! Mmmmm-bahhhhhh!

Wow! There's a man in my hat!

Nobody will look at your hairy mole

When you've got an insane man in your hat.

That's right!

Mmmm-haaa-blblblblbl!

Let's go test it.

Hi, bevan. Want to go to a movie this weekend?

I don't know--ahhhhhhh!

Hey, dude, don't look at her face!

Look at me! Ha ha arghhhhhhhhh!

Beedle--beedle-baahhhhhh!

Mmmmm-broooooo!

Wow! I was so distracted by that man in your hat

I completely forgot about your disgusting mole!

So, is it a date?

Say yes! Say yes, ha ha!

It's a date!

Thanks, little crazy hat man.

Yeah, whatever!

[Belches loudly]

Announcer: little crazy hat man!

I'm crazy and I'm in your hat!

Ha ha! Mmmmm-blblblblblbl!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Hi there.

Welcome to cookie dooper.

Would you like to try one of our delicious cookies?

Didn't you people previously sell sushi?

Uh, we realized sushi wasn't "our thing."

Now we sell cookies.

We're cookie people.we're cookie people.

Um, we're not allowed to have cookies in the clinic.

What kind of cookies do you have?!

Well, you could try one of our electric zaps.

[Electrical sizzling]

All right.

Mmm, I enjoy this electric zap cookie.

It's made with real electricity.

Over , volts.

Electricity? Isn't that dangerous?

We're not sure.

But if I swallowed an electric cookie,

Doesn't that mean--

Eee-eee-ee-ee-ee-ee!

Aren't they good?

Good? They're excru--

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Now that's a happy customer.

You people are loony cuckoo!

I'm going back to the clinic.

I think he liked it.

Did you see how he just lit up?

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Hi, little girl. Welcome to cookie dooper.

Cookies? Yay! I love cookies!

♪ I'm gonna eat some cookies, I'm gonna eat some cookies ♪

♪ I'm gonna eat some cook-- ♪

What kind of cookie would you like?

Do you have any with sugar and sugar and sugar and sugar and sugar?

Well, these cookies have sugar.

Yay! And scabs.

Yay--scabs?

From real sores.

Do you need more scabs?

Not now, grandpa!

You're a failure!

Uh, I don't think I want any cookies with grandpa scabs in 'em.

Why don't you show her the special cookie, pumpkin?

Ok, here. Try one of these.

They're called oatmeal del fuego.

Fuego?eat it.

Yes, sir.

Whoa! That's the bestest cookie ever!

That's 'cause it has sugar, raisins...

And gallons of hot sauce.

Mmmm.

Hot sauce?

Real hot. Real hot.

Oh...oh...ahhhhhhhhh!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!

Gee, daddy, I don't think she liked her cookie very much.

It's ok, baby. Cookies aren't really a "children's food."

I can't feel my legs!

Not now, grandpa!

Failure!

Hi, and welcome to cookie dooper.

You must help me.

I was selling cookies and some bad boys stole them.

That's ok. We have plenty of cookies.

Oh, bless you.here, try one of our wiggle wafers.

Wiggle wafers are good!

Well...

Mmm. This is delish.

But what are the things that look like worms?

Worms. Worms.

Worms?!

That's icky.

Oh, well here. You'll love these.

Scout's honor.

Well, since you said "scout's honor."

Mmm. This is scrumptious. What kind is this?

Refrigerator crunch.

Mmm. Why do you call it refrigerator crunch?

[Whistling]

Oh, daddy. I think we really are cookie people.

Looks that way, baby. Looks that way.

I broke a nail... And my head is bleeding.

Good evening. I'm amanda.

You may know me as fish daddy, the hip hop halibut.

Tonight we're going to discuss a tragedy

That's sweeping our nation.

The truth is, very few people know what to do...

Now we're all familiar with the popular tv show,

The brady bunch.

♪♪♪

As you can see, on television

They're a happy, carefree american family.

But in real life it's a very different story.

You may have heard about these horrifying att*cks by the brady bunch.

But now, caught on videotape,

You're about to actually witness some of these actual events

Just as they actually happened.

Here you see a delivery man

From the chinese restaurant, casa del tokyo.

He was just trying to deliver some food

When the bradys att*cked. Watch.

[Screaming and hollering]

Truly horrible.

Now let's watch that att*ck again in slow motion.

The poor chinese delivery man didn't have a chance.

He never saw the brady bunch--

Until they att*cked.

I was just trying to deliver the chinese food,

But before I knew what happened, the brady bunch...

They att*cked me!

It was horrible.

Pork fried rice went everywhere.

They knocked me down, stomped on the snow pea beef.

And look what they did to the egg roll.

How dare you, brady bunch?!

[Sobbing]

Look at this moo shu! Moo shu, moo shu, moo shu!

Hard to understand,

But the brady bunch didn't stop there.

Weeks later, a mother driving her two sons home

From baseball practice met a similar fate.

Let's take a look.

Watch the silver car on the right side of your screen.

Now get ready for a very brady b*ating.

[Screaming and hollering]

So disturbing.

Now let's watch the brady bunch att*ck again in slow motion.

They were just driving along, minding their own business,

When the bradys went beserk.

I had just picked up my sons, john and andy,

From baseball practice.

I play first base.

I give out water to the other boys.

Andy's not good at things.

Mom!

Anyway, we were about halfway home, just driving along,

When...oh...when...

The brady bunch att*cked us!

They hurt us bad.

I kept begging for them to stop,

But they just kept attacking.

Cindy pulled my hair!

Ow! Ow!

Jan and marcia spanked me.

Ow! Ow! Stop with the spanking!

Why did the brady bunch do this to us?

Where were their parents?!

Or alice?

I used to think marcia was hot

Until she mauled me.

Bad bradys! Bad!

Terrible bradys.bad! Bad!

Horrible.i hate you!

Bad!

Those poor, poor victims.

Forever scarred from a brady bruising.

If you witness an att*ck by the brady bunch,

Please call our emergency hotline...

Please tune in next week when we will be dis...

Ah! Ah! Ahhhhhhhh!

[Music starts]

♪ We're gonna b*at on, b*at on, b*at on, b*at on ♪

♪ b*at on people tonight ♪

♪ We're gonna b*at on, b*at on, b*at on ♪

♪ With all of our might ♪

♪ We're gonna b*at on, b*at on, b*at on you ♪

♪ We're gonna kick you and a-punch you ♪

♪ Till you're black and blue ♪

♪ We're the brady bunch ♪

♪ And we're gonna kick your butt tonight ♪

♪ Ahhhhhhhhh ♪

♪ Ahhhhhhhhh ♪

♪ Ahhhhhhhhh ♪

♪ Ahhhhhhhhh ♪

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Amanda? Amanda, please?

Hey, you! Girlie!

[Chuckling]

Oh.

I got you this time.

All right, you. Come here.

What? Oh--oh--

[Punching and struggling]

Please.

Barney, what's with the...

I...don't want to talk about it.

All right.

Man: there she is! Get that girl!

[Whistle blows]

Oh, hey.

Fellas, no. No, I'm not the girl.

Amanda, help! Amanda, please!

♪♪♪

From his garage, it's totally kyle.

Um, one time,

I went to visit my cousin in new jersey,

And I went to his, like, house,

And, you know, rang the doorbell,

And he opened the door,

And he was all, "go away,"

And, like, "stop ringing my doorbell."

And so i, like, called my mom and told her...

About my cousin yelling things at me,

In new jersey,

And she was all,

"You don't have a cousin in new jersey."

Um, I have to tinkle.

Announcer: that was totally kyle.

Totally!

♪♪♪

Thank you, everybody. Whoo!

Ok, now since we have a few minutes left,

Why don't we let the studio audience

Write down some questions for me. Jim?

Thank you.

Ok, let's read the questions.

"Amanda, can I please borrow $,?"

Ok, next question.

"Amanda, have you ever met another girl

Who looks exactly like you?"

Hey. You know, that's a cool idea.

Let's have a contest.

Any girls in the audience who think they look like me, come on up here.

What was she doing?

I caught her up on the roof with this.

Trying to saw a hole over amanda's dressing room.

And I would have succeeded

If you hadn't interefered, please.

Now where's amanda? I must meet amanda.

She's on the stage.

And what were you doing with

This remote control in your pocket?

That item belongs to me, please.

What is it for?

If you hand it to me, perhaps I'll show you.

Thank you, please.

Now watch closely and say, "nighty-night."

Nighty-night?

Why would we want to say--

[Coughing]

I hope you've enjoyed this demonstation.

Now I must get to the stage and finally meet amanda!

Sweet dreams, lemmings.

Amanda! No.

Amanda?

Sorry.

Why tease me? Grrrrr!

Amanda?

Grrr, please. Amanda?

Amanda? Grrr!

Amanda?

[Whistle blows]

There she is! Get her!

Why repossess my body? Handle with care!

Why do it, please? Amanda!

I must meet amanda!

Well, it looks like we have a winner.

What do you think?

Ok, well I'm going to take these girls out for dinner.

You want to say it? Sure.

Ok, that's our show. I'm gonna go squeeze an elephant.

See ya! See ya!

Amanda? Amanda, please!

There she is! Get her!

[Shouting]

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Hey! Hey!

What are you doing?

Get her off! Get her off! Get her off!

Amanda, please.