02x10 - Episode 10

[bunniefuu]

Hey, I've got a light blue dress upstairs

I know you'll love.

Let's go check it out.

All: ah!

Sorry, amanda.

It's ok, barney.

What do you need?

Say, somebody sent you a present.

Would you mind putting it on the couch for me?

No problem.thanks, barney.

Yeah, right this way. Bring it on in.

And right here on the couch.

That's good.

All right. Thanks, pal.

[Door closes]

Heh heh.

Hi, everybody! My name's amanda!

This is my show. Whoo-hoo!

Whoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Whoo hoo! Yeah, yeah! Look at me!

Amanda?

Huh?

What?! Ahhh!

Don't care. Amanda.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda-manda show ♪

[Audience cheering]

Thank you!

My name's amanda, and I contain no artificial flavors.

[Audience cheers]

Thank you.

Ok. Now, I thought we'd start the show a little differently

By reading some fan mail.

Sound cool?

Audience: yeah!

Ok.

Now, this letter's from russell carter.

Let's hear what russell has to say.

Dear amanda...

Audience: that's me!

No, no, no. Unh-uh.

Different show. Ok.

I love the amanda show but I'm very sad.

Aw!

I'm very sad because I never miss your show.

But last week, my mom grounded me

Because I traded my dad's car in

For a can of fruit cocktail

I love fruit cocktail.

Anyway, my parents grounded me

And won't let me watch tv.

Amanda with audience: aw!

Gosh, russell, I'd hate for you to miss the show.

Hey, I got it!

Um--hey, guys, can you come out here?

[Audience cheers wildly]

What's going on?

Hey. What's up?

Yeah, sure.

If you guys wouldn't mind waiting here,

We'll be right back. Ok?

Ok!

Come on!

Hi, amanda.

Amanda!

Hi. How're you doing?

I--i can't believe you're here!

Well, I got your letter,

And I felt bad that your parents

Won't let you watch the show and everything.

Will you take me with you?

No. But we brought you a little present.

Fruit cocktail! Wow!

I love fruit cocktail.

I've heard.

[Knocking on door]russell!

Ooh, that's my mom.

Are you watching television?

I thought I heard the amanda show.

Uh--no, mom. I'm not watching the amanda show.

The tv's off.

So, russell, what's your favorite sketch on the show?

Hmm.

They're all so wonderful.

I guess my favorite is when you guys

Do the klutz's.

Oh, yeah, we like that one.

Hey. Do you think you guys could do the klutz's for me,

Like, right now?

Well, we're not in costume or anything, but...

All cast: not a problem!

Come on, family.

Whoa!

Russell, I hear the amanda show.

No you don't, mom.

The tv's off.

Stick around! We'll be back in a second to do stuff!

Whoo hoo!

Hey, I'm getting hungry.

Mom! Can julie stay over for dinner?

Sure, sweetie!

What are we having?

Broccoli.

Broccoli?! Ahhhh!

Wait. No need to jump.

But you heard your mom.

Broccoli. Yeck!

No problem. I've got...

Sugar veggies.

Explain!

Sugar veggies look like real vegetables

But they're really made of pure sugar!

Sugar?

Sa-weet!

No dessert until you finish all of your broccoli.

Mom, dad! Chipmunks!

I see no chipmunk.

My goof!

Now, eat your broccoli.

Ok!

How is it?

Mmm. Sa-weet!

Announcer: sugar veggies!

They look like real vegetables

But they're made of % pure, refined sugar

Because nobody likes real broccoli.

And now, nobody has to eat it!

[Dog whimpers]

Sugar veggies comes in all the nauseating vegetables that parents make you eat!

Now, in new brussels sprouts!

Sugar veggies!

They're sa-weet!

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda-manda show ♪

And welcome back to so you wanna win five dollars.

We're back with calvin stubbs.

I'm calvin stubbs.

Yes.

Calvin's about to try and answer his final question

And win our grand prize of five dollars.

[Audience cheers]

Ok, calvin, finish this sentence.

Electrical current is measured in...

Or...

Wow.

I'm really not sure, but my dad would know.

He's an electrician. I'd like to phone my dad.

Ok, let's get calvin's dad on the line.

[Phone ringing]

Children are the opposite of good!

Hello.

Hello, mr. Stubbs?

Heh?

This is tina from so you wanna win five dollars.

We have your son calvin here with me.

Son?!

Yes. He needs your help to answer his final question,

Worth five dollars.

I don't have a son!

My name is mr. Oldman.

You have the wrong number.

Ok, mr. Stubbs.

The next voice you hear will be your son's.

You have seconds.

Um--seconds?

My doctor says I have two years.

I think you've dialed the wrong number.

Ok, dad. Finish this sentence...

I don't want to.

Electrical current is measured in...

Or...

Well, I do enjoy the crumpet,

But what happened to our discussion of my lack of son?

I never had a son!

I can't find my wife!

Wait a minute. Who is this? You're not my dad.

Doy!

You have the wrong number!

You have five seconds left.

No, the doctor says I have two years left!

I don't know the answer to the...

Volts.

Are you sure?

I'm sure you got the wrong number.

Hello? My shorts are tight!

Hello?

[Ding!]

Oh, time's up. We need your answer, calvin.

But that wasn't my dad.

I demand a do-over.

Your final answer, please.

All right, I'll go with the old guy.

A, volts.

[Buzzer]

Oh, I'm sorry.

The answer is b, amps.

Audience: aw!

Too bad, calvin.

But that wasn't my dad.

Thanks for playing.

I'm not leaving. We had the wrong number!

Come on! This isn't fair!

That wasn't even my dad!

Now let's welcome our next contestant.

Debbie!

Hi!

Over there.

Cool!

Hi, debbie.

Hi, debbie!

You're debbie.

My debbie what?

Let's move on.

Are you ready for your first question?

Ok, um...

I'm gonna say--yes.

What do I win?

Nothing. Listen.

How many inches are in a foot?

Or...

How many inches in a foot?

Hold on.

Not your foot! A foot!

Oh!

Stop that!

Sit down!

Ok.

A foot is a unit of measure.

I like eggs.

Who picks the people? Who picks the people?

We need your final answer, please.

Ok, well.

My foot is kinda pink and it is made of meat,

So I'll say--

A, inches.

Unbelievable. A is the correct answer.

[Audience cheers and phone rings]

What?

Our phone is ringing?

Can that happen?

All right. Put it through. Hello.

Hello, it's me. I hit call return.

k*ll me.

I miss my son.

You don't have a son!

Daddy?

It's not your daddy.

My middle toe is infected!

I like eggs.

Who picks the people? Who picks the people?!

I like eggs, too!

I like eggs.

What happened to my wife?

I like eggs.

You have the wrong number.

Hey!

What are you fellas doing in my locker?!

We're stealing your stuff.

But that violates school policy.

So is b*ating your face in.

That's our policy.

We're gonna punch you in the neck...

Till it hurts.

Can I make a phone call first?

Ok, but make it fast.

Hello, cops?

I'm about to be beaten.

Yeah, they threatened my neck.

Ok, thanks.

They're sending over a special squad.

Special? Squad?

I'm katy!

I'm megan!

I'm stephanie!

Cheerleaders?cheerleaders?

Not just cheerleaders.

Crime fighting cheerleaders.

Ready?

Both: ok!

♪ L-e-g-g-o

♪ Leggo of that boy or we'll break your toes ♪

Whoo!

Break our toes?

How are you gonna break our toes?

Ready? Ok!ok!

[Crunch!]

Those crazy cheerleaders just broke our toes.

They didn't warn us.

Get 'em, girls.

You're not gonna get us.

You're cheerleaders.

We're gonna get you.

Oh, yeah? Cheerleaders?

Ok!ok!

♪ Gimme an f!

F.

♪ Gimme an l!

L.

♪ Gimme an i!

I.

♪ Gimme a p!

P.

♪ Put it all together and what does it spell? ♪

Flip!

Whoo!

Why'd you make us spell "flip"?

I'll show ya.

Whoo!

Thanks, katy. How can I ever repay you?

By keeping up your school spirit!

Consider it done.

Whoo!

What's all the commotion out here?

Oh! You cheerleaders are not supposed to be in the halls during class!

I'm giving you all detention.

I don't think so.

Uh-uh.

Ready?

Ok!ok!

Ok! Oh!

Whoo!

Hey, my underwear's in places it shouldn't be!

[Cheering]

Come on, girls! Let's go!

Girls: ok!

Hey, katy! Wait.

Will you be my girlfriend?

No!

Oh.

Will you at least give me a kiss?

No! But I will give you this!

What? Oh!

[Cheerleaders cheering]

Wow. She bruised my spine!

♪ Give us a c!

C!

♪ Give us a y!

Y!

♪ Give us an a!

A!

♪ Put it all together and what does it spell? ♪

Uh--see ya.

See ya!

Whoo!

Wait! You misspelled it!

Oh, my underwear's hurting me! Hey!

It's time for a...

[Goofy laughter]

Hey, hey! Knock, knock.

Who's there?

Liberty bell.

Liberty bell who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a liberty bell.

Huh?

[Clang!]

That was good.

Yep. Ding dong.

Honey, this mustard is wonderful.

Yes, and this chicken heart is good, too.

Mother, father! I finally got a girlfriend!

You got a girlfriend?

Miracles can happen.

When do we get to meet the unlucky lady?

She's right in the living room.

Oh, zizquat.

Mother, father, this is zizquat.

She's an alien.

Your girlfriend is an alien?

Isn't she cute?

Offstage: where's amanda!

Oh. Son, you can't be going out with an alien girl.

We forbid it.

Who cares? Where's amanda?

Who is that?

I don't know.

Just keep going.

Uh--right. Um...

Son, I demand you take that alien girl back to wherever you found her.

Hey, I'm talking to you, please!

All right. Who keeps yelling?

We're trying to do a sketch.

Listen. I paid good money to come see the amanda show.

Where's amanda?

Amanda's not in this sketch.

The song says manda- manda-manda-manda show,

Not the you people- you people-you people show.

Look, miss, we're sorry amanda's not in this scene,

But we'd like to continue, if you don't mind.

Oh, I mind.

Well, too bad.

Uh--josh, keep going.

Uh--

Mother, father, this is the girl I love--

Hey!

She threw a banana at me.

There's more where that came from.

All right, you know what?

I've had just about enough of--

We want amanda!

We want amanda! We want amanda!

We want amanda! We--

Ah! Who needs ya!

We're trying to watch the show.

I have my own amanda website, you know.

Www.amandaplease.com.

Look, I just wanna watch--

It features amanda, unlike this pointless skit.

That does it.

Where are you going?

This girl wants to meet amanda so bad, fine.

I'm gonna go get amanda.

I get to meet amanda! I get to meet amanda!

Finally, the sweet day has come!

Out of my way, please.

Oh! Please!

This is the moment I've waited for my--

Whoa!

Amanda--amanda, please.

Amanda, amanda.

Amanda, please.

Hey, wanna get some chinese food?

Let's go!

Amanda, just meet this girl. She's right over--

Hey, guys, where did the--

Where did everybody go?

Drake.

Um--she was right here.

Mm-hmm.

What's up?

Yo, yo, yo.

It's...

Hi! Welcome to my jacuzzi.

Today, my special guest is...elvis presley.

Now, elvis, I understand that you're the king of rock 'n roll.

That's right, baby.

Ok. And once you sang a song entitled

Jailhouse rock.

Yep.

Thank you. Thank you very much.

You're welcome.

Now, is it also true that you can hold your nose

And blow gasoline out of your ears?

Aw, now come on, that's crazy, baby.

I see.

Well, how about a plate of spaghetti?

♪ Uh-huh-uh oh yeah ♪

That was...

Yo, yo, yo.

Bye-bye!

Bye-bye.

[Audience cheering wildly]

Thank you!

Ok, I just found out that we have a birthday boy in the audience.

Where are you, jeff?

I'm jeff.

Come on up here.

Whoa! Give him a hand.

Hi. How are you doing?

Good. How are you?

I'm good, thanks.

Ok, at the amanda show when it's your birthday,

You can have anything you want.

Wow.

Um--could I have $,?

Sure. Uh--jim, $,, please.

Grand.

Thanks.

Jim.

Sorry.

Here you go. Anything else you want for your birthday?

Well...

Would you marry me?

Well, I don't think I could marry you.

You said I could have anything.

All right.

[Organ music plays]

[Wedding march plays]

Do you, amanda and jeff, take each other

To be husband and wife?

I do.

I guess.

You may kiss the bride-- on the cheek.

Ok, that's our show!

I gotta go on my honeymoon.

I gotta tell my friends.

See ya!

Where's amanda!