03x01 - Episode 1

[bunniefuu]

You have the cutest little nose.

The better to sniff you with, please.

May i...kiss you?

I ain't waitin' for a train, mister.

Penelope, will you make me a sandwich?

No, please!

Now go play in your room.

Ok, penelope.

I'm sorry I must baby-sit on this, our date.

That's ok.

Penelope, how do you spell "guacamole"?

G-e-t-o-u-t!

That spells "get out".

Then do it, please.

Rude.

Pardon my sibling.

No problem. Where were we?

Right here, cowboy.

Penelope!

Yeah?!

The amanda show is starting.

Ahhh!

But penelope. We were just about to kiss.

Not during the amanda show, please.

But penelope...

[Sighs]

That oughta hold ya.

♪ A-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

My name's amanda

And my grandmother makes great cole slaw.

Thank you. Ok. So this morning, I'm giving my dog a massage

And she starts barking really loud at this little kitten,

So I say--

[Pounding]

Is something wrong out there?

Oh, no, nothing's wrong, amanda.

We just came here for my birthday party.

Oh, happy birthday.

[Cheers and applause]

But I can't seem to break open this piñata.

Oh, can you break your piñata after the show?

Mmm, no. I really gotta do this now.

Oh, uh...ok.

Hey, if you help me get it open,

I'll share whatever's in there with you and the whole audience.

[Cheers and applause]

Ok. Bring it on up here.

What's your name? Steve.

Hi steve. And is this your dad?

No, he came with the piñata.

Ok.

So, you wanna give it a whack?

All right.

[Cheers and applause]

Dental floss? Who puts dental floss in a piñata?

My mom.

Well, does anybody want floss?

I guess we're gonna floss. Stick around.

We'll be back in a sec to do stuff!

This cereal is so dull.

The kids look so bored.

We're failures as parents.

Try this cereal.

Now listen!

[Snapping]

Hear it snap?

Uh-huh!

Hear it krackle?

Sure do!

But what about the--

Wow! When does my cereal bowl--

Again! Again!

♪ You pour the cereal in, you pour the milk, leave room ♪

♪ Then you listen for the snap and the krackle and ♪

Can I have some breakfast?

Oh, listen.

Ow. Oh...

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Hi, and welcome to...

All: the girls' room!

Ok, I'm amber and I ooze popularity.

I'm sheila, and odds are I don't like you.

My name's tammy, still an exchange student from tennessee.

Where's the dipstick?

Oh, debbie's gonna be late.

She's getting a suntan at one of those tanning salons.

Hi girls, sorry I'm late.

Debbie! What happened?

You're redder than a possum's bare butt.

I know. I fell asleep in the tanning salon.

I think I got a sunburn.

Ow.

Ow.

I think she got a brain burn.

Oh, for the love of fat elvis, can we please start the show?

Ok, it's gonna be a totally exciting show

Because right now, here at school, it's...

Ok, now our first guest is gonna be prom chaperone

Principal hazzmat.

Hi, principal hazzmat, and welcome to...

All: the girls' room!

So, did I win prom queen yet?

Amber, the students are gonna vote

For who theywant as prom queen.

Uh, ok. Let me know when I win.

Don't you girls have dates?

Uh-uh. My boyfriend's back in tennessee.

He works at the barbecue hut as a pork puller.

I see.

No, my date's not feeling too well.

Oh, what's wrong with him?

Well, he came down with a bad case of this.

Oh. Fair enough. Fair enough.

And nobody asked me to the prom because

All the guys were way too intimidated

By my insane popularity.

And I like eggs.

Ow.

Yeah, girls, ok, you and these cameramen

Are gonna have to leave the restroom. Vamoose.

Sheila? 'Nuff said.

Oh, this is a new dance. I call it the flush.

[Splash]

[Flush]

[Sputtering]

Bye, principal hazzmat.

Ok, now next on the girls' room we're going to --

[Shrieking]

Ok, what is going on out there?

They just elected jeremy pembers as prom king!

[Shrieking]

Jeremy pembers is the coolest and hottest boy in school!

Um, sheila, don't you think we should

Congratulate jeremy personally?

Back in a sec.

Hey, what are you doing?

Hi jeremy, and welcome to...

All: the girls' room!

You guys have a television show in the girls' bathroom?

Uh-huh. Now jeremy, I understand

You've just been elected prom king.

Yeah, that's right.

Ow.

Well, since I'm going to be prom queen,

Let's practice our dance as king and queen together.

[Shrieking]

Danielle spencer was just elected prom queen.

Sheila. I'm on it.

Hello, danielle spencer.

Hello, amber.

You know, the ugly store called.

They want that dress back.

Look, I don't have time for this.

I have to go give my prom queen acceptance speech.

I'm way ahead of you. Flush for one?

[Splash]

[Flush]

Amber, your crown.

Danke.

Shall we dance?

What if I say no?

Uh, flush for two?

Ok, let's dance.good call.

Ok, that's all the time we have.

Until next time, I'm popular.

I'm a hick.

I'm flushin' danielle spencer's head.

Ow.

[Flush]

And clear.

Good afternoon, welcome to the people place.

How may I assist you today?

I need a birthday present for my husband.

Oh, perhaps he'd enjoy a lovely grandparent.

Buy me! Buy me!

Buy me.

No, buy me.

By the way, we're having a sale today.

Buy a grandmother and get a matching grandfather half price.

Oh, that's very tempting,

But my husband already has a full set of grandparents.

[Moaning]

Let's see. Could I interest you in a really stupid person.

Oh, I don't think he has one of those.

We just got these in yesterday.

They're fresh, and dumb as posts.

Really? Mm-hmm.

Allow me to demonstrate. Yoo-hoo! Stupid people.

Please tell this woman your names.

Uh, .

Tadpoles?

Aghhh--gagh--gaghh.

Stupid enough for you?

Oh, yes. I'll take that one.

Po-tato!

That will be $..

Po-tato!

Oh, he's delightfully dim, isn't he?

Now, would you like him gift-wrapped?

Please.

Arghhhhhhh.

Thank you for shopping at the people place. Have a nice day.

Thank you.

[Squealing]

Po-tato!

Good afternoon. Welcome to the people place.

Quick, I'm being chased by two bullies.

Oh, dear.

I was hoping, maybe,

You had two really big bullies for sale.

Oh, I'm afraid we're out of bullies.

Aw, man. I am so dead.

Wait. Don't despair.

We do have wonderful thugs and brutes.

Wow, these are awesome.

I'll take the two biggest ones you got.

Of course. Gentlemen.

There's that punk!

Let's punch his kidneys.

Is that for here or to go?

Um, for here. Hurry!

Now you're gonna get it.bad!

I don't think so. Boys!

Huh?

Thanks.

Have a good day.

I want a cupcake.

Oh, good afternoon. How may I help you today?

You sold me this little brother last week, and I want my money back.

What seems to be the problem?

He's a huge pain in the butt.

Well, he's a little brother. Annoying is the only way that they come.

I just want my money back.

I'm sorry, we don't give refunds.

However, you can exchange him for another person.

Uhh...

I'll give you a nickel every time I come to visit.

Fine. Give me that grandma.

Yes!

To the back, little boy.

Hi.

Hi, may I help you?

Yeah, um...

Yeah, I'll take this robber here.

All right, I'll ring that up for you.

[Whispering]

All right, all right, give me all the cash in the register.

What are you doing?

I'm robbin' ya. I'm a robber. That's what I do.

And the people, too.

All right, people, let's go. Let's move out. Let's go.

Come on, you, too, grandpa.

Yeah, thank you.

Tell your friends.

It's time for a....

[Both giggling goofily]

Hey-hey. Knock knock.

Who's there?

A meaty loaf.

A meaty loaf who?

I'm gonna hit you in the head with a meaty loaf.

Huh?

That's good. Yup.

♪ Amanda-manda-manda- manda-manda ♪

♪ Manda-manda- manda-manda show ♪

Hello, please.

Hey. Who are you?

My name is penelope taynt.

I'm amanda's number one fan, please.

Really? Well, you know, this is amanda's car.

Oh!

This is amanda's...

Actual car?

Well, it's her parents' car.

Oh! What?

Soon the show will be over,

Then amanda will come to this vehicle for her ride home!

So?

So I will wait here and finally meet amanda!

No way, no way. I could get into a lot of trouble for that.

Here's bucks. Go get a haircut.

Whoo-hoo. See ya.

Locked.

Please.

Ok, yeah. Just sell if it drops to twenty.

Amanda?

Oh, hi dad.

Guess what? What?

I just sold our car.

You sold our car?

Yeah, some guy made me a good offer

And the brakes were sh*t anyway, so I sold it to him.

We'll go buy a new car this weekend.

Cool. So who'd you sell our car to?

Oh, some really nice family.

[Cheering]

Hey! You people aren't amanda at all!

[Cheering]

Why do it?

Hey, stop the vehicle! Stop wasting my life!

♪

From his garage, it's totally kyle.

Um, one time...

I had this, like, double cheeseburger,

And it was, like...good,

And the cheese was all, like...

Double...

And it was, like, the best double cheeseburger

I ever, like...had...

Like...ever...

In my life,

And then, like, a week later...

I threw up.

Announcer: that was totally kyle.

Totally!

♪

[Ringing]

Children are like warts that talk too much!

Hello?

Yeah, this is the moofin doofin wrecking company.

Well, hello, moofindee doofindee wrecking company.

Uh, what time do you want us to tear down your house?

Tear down my house?!

Ok, we'll tear down your house at :.

But wait, it's : now!

Uh-oh, then you'd better duck.

I--oh!

I duck-ed, but my house is still a-standing.

Then scream.

No, I don't want-- ahhhhhhhh!

Did I scream nice?

Yes sir, mr. Wiggleston.

Whoa, pony. I'm no mr. Wiggleste-ston-ste-ston.

My name is mr. Oldman,

I think you have the wrong number.

Do you have any last words, sir?

Why? Am I doomed?

Take off your shoe.

But I don't wanna take off my sh--all right.

My shoe's off. Now what?

Put your shoe in your pants, sir.

But that seems inappropriate.

Put it! All right!

Ahhhhhhh!

It fits.

Are you pretty, sir?

Well, people do tell me I have a certain girlish charm,

But you have the wrong number!

There's a shoe in my pants!

Hello? You have the wrong number.

[Cheers and applause]

Ok, did everybody like the show?

[Cheers and applause]

Great.

Ok, before we go, does anybody have a request?

Um...you.

Yeah, amanda, I was wondering if you could use your voice

To break open this bottle of soda for me.

You want me to break the bottle with my voice?

Yeah. Here I come.

Ok.

Um, ok, I'll give it a sh*t.

[Singing in high operatic voice]

You know, I'll have to call you back.

Aw, man. It didn't work.

Hang on. Let me try again.

[Singing even higher]

Who's pretty?

Aw, man. I guess I can't break it.

But I'm so thirsty.

Wait. You just want it open so you can drink it?

Uh, duh.

Just--just give the top a twist.

You think that'll work?

I've seen it done.

[Cheers and applause]

Cool. Thanks.

Ok, well, that's our show.

I've gotta go digest a coconut. See ya!