02x04 - Malcolm-Jamal Warner/Mokenstef

[bunniefuu]

So, who wants to hear more things about me?

I do.

The show starts in minutes-- minutes.

I'm ready.

I can't find kel and alisa.

Oh, they had a fight.

They said something about not doing the show or something.

Oh, really? We'll just see about that. I'm the man.

Hey, I know, kev.

Kel and alisa are right over there, man.

You, don't hold your breath.

Kevin: kel, alisa, the show starts in minutes.

That's one minute less than....

Now, what's going on?

Look, kev, I was sitting here playing trouser commando,

When she came up and ripped my shirt, like this.

Oh, I'd see why you'd get angry.

And that wasn't till after

He poured kitty litter down my pants, like this.

Ok, I'm getting the point.

I'm getting the point.

I only did that because she put whipped cream in my face, like this.

Whipping cream everywhere.

The only reason why I did that was because

He tied a rope around my feet, like this.

Stop the demonstration.

Kel: then I put her in the air, like this.

Kevin: you don't need to be doing that. Stop it!

What are you doing?

I'm going up now. I'm upside down.

My ankles are hurting.

Oh, this is absurd.

Show's starting.

Let's go.

All right, let's go.

Kevin: wait a second. Oh, hold on. Oh! Oh!

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ We're entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

It's time for...

Wow, they have the best ice cream here.

Mark?

What's wrong with you, mark?

You act like you're afraid of ice cream or something.

Jeepers, penny. No one's afraid of ice cream.

Silly billy.

Oh, hello, dears.

Can I be getting you all some ice cream?

No. Yes.

I'll have an ice-cream sundae, please.

Oh, dear.

Excuse me.

Hey, well, well, well,

If it isn't penny lane.

Who's the tube?

He's not a tube. This is my friend mark kent.

Pleased to make your acquaintance.

Ooh!

Leave me alone.

Hey, you leave penny be.

Well, what are you going to do about it, tube?

Um, I have to go to the bathroom.

Oh, well, let me give you a hand. Come on.

Oh, thank you.

You are such a gentleman.

You don't meet nice people like you anymore.

What's the world coming to?

Oh!

Jack, you're nothing but a big bully.

How about a hug? Come on.

Get away.

Give me a hug.

Hug this!

Superdude!

That's right, I'm superdude, the teenage superhero

With powers far beyond those of idiots like this guy

With a plunger on his face.

I can fly through the air, and I can bend things that are hard.

I also enjoy fluffy, stuffed animals

And soft kisses

And chatting on the phone long distance.

I don't care who you are.

Superdude or no superdude, you going down.

Now let me show you how it's really done.

Bye-bye. See you.

Let's hear it for superdude.

Yeah!

[Kids cheer]

Let's not!

Milkman! Why, I should have known.

You make one ugly old woman.

That's correct, superdoof!

That's superdude,

And I know you mispronounced it on purpose.

Oh, yeah? Prove it!

No. I think it's time to teach you a lesson.

I think you're going to have a hard time teaching me anything

With this ice cream all over your head, superdude.

Oh...

Boy: superdude, go after him.

He can't. Superdude is lactose intolerant.

Lactose intolerant? What's that?

It means he can't handle dairy products--

Milk, cheese, yogurt, et cetera.

Anything with milk in it can defeat his super strength.

Especially ice cream!

Look out, stupid dude.

Ugh! Ahh! Oh!

Ugh!

Now just one more thing

And it'll be good-bye forever, superdude!

Ha ha ha ha!

Milkman, can't we just sit down and discuss our differences?

When I fling this giant scoop of ice cream at your head,

You will be finished forever.

No!

So long, superdude.

Now, as for you, milkman...

Oh!

This is for trying to harm me.

Ow!

This is for calling me names,

And this is for getting penny all messy.

Enjoy your flight.

Penny...

You're the best, superdude,

Even if you are lactose intolerant.

Oh...

Penny!

Penny, are you ok?

No.

I prefer chocolate.

[All laugh]

Who's going to pay for all of this?

Well, I'll pay for the hole in the ceiling,

But I'm afraid the ice cream's on you.

[All laugh]

Announcer: and now, lori beth denberg

With more vital information for your everyday life.

Lori beth: if you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

[Audience claps]

If you're happy and you don't know it,

Clap your monkey.

It's not right to take a hunk of pork,

Squeeze it into a glass, give it to your mother, and then tell her,

"Here, mommy, I made you some pork juice."

Never tidy up your desk like this.

This has been lori beth denberg with vital information.

All that will be right back,

And the world will be a safer place

'Cause of these right here! Ugh!

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

[Class bell rings]

Oh, look, if it isn't bradley.

Who's the apple for, bradley?

Miss fingerly. What's it to you?

Class: ooh!

How cute. You're such a teacher's pet.

Am not.

Then why do you have this?

Aw, a framed color photo of miss fingerly.

What's this for, bradley?

My desk. Now give it here!

Class: teacher's pet. Teacher's pet. Teacher's pet.

Teacher's pet. Teacher's pet.

So? So what if I am?

You guys are just jealous

Because I'm the best at something.

Oh, you're the best teacher's pet in the whole world, bradley.

Darn right I am.

Happy morning, class.

Class: morning, miss fingerly.

Miss fingerly, I brought you an apple.

Oh, thank you, bradley.

Teachers love fruits.

You're very, very welcome.

Class: teacher's pet. Teacher's pet.

Teacher's pet. Teacher's pet.

Stop! Stop the chanting!

It's not appropriate to call bradley a "teacher's pet."

Bradley simply does nice things for me

Which make me like him more than I like the rest of you,

That's all.

Now, sit down, bradley.

Thank you, miss fingerly.

Now, before we begin, class,

I have some titillating news.

We're going to have a new student join us.

Robert...

Hello, everyone. I'm very happy to be joining all of you

And especially you, miss fingerly.

Oh, robert!

Oh!

I brought you a gift.

Hmm, that makes me tingle.

Good heavens! An apple tree!

Teachers love fruits.

How true! Thank you, robert.

My, what big apples.

Why, this apple is much larger than this other one...

Redder, too.

Class: ooh!

Better apple! Better apple!

Miss fingerly, you are looking a little tense.

Allow me to rub your shoulders?

Well, I do have some muscular tension.

Please.

Miss fingerly, I thought you might be feeling a little tense as well,

So I took the liberty of ordering you a professional massage.

Gunter?

My own professional massage...

Why, thank you, robert.

Don't mind if I do.

[German accent] go away.

Ooh! Check out gunter. Ooh! Check out gunter.

Ooh...oh, oh, yes, sir.

Oh, my! Oh, get that kink! Oh!

Much better than a simple shoulder rub.

Miss fingerly, how about some relaxing music?

Ooh, some music would be splendid.

I have a tape in my locker.

I'll go right and get it.

Don't bother.

[Playing soothing music]

Oh, how lovely, robert.

All right, now it's time we begin class.

Thank you, gunter.

Here's a little something for you.

American history began years ago.

[Coughing]

Hey, miss fingerly's choking.

[Class cheers]

I'll call the ambulance.

There's no time. I know the heimlich maneuver.

Oh, I nearly choked!

Oh, robert, thank you so much for heimliching me.

Oh, the pleasure is all mine, miss fingerly.

You certainly are my favorite student.

Class: ooh!

New favorite.new favorite.

But that's not fair. I'm your favorite student.

I am, remember? I am!

Why would she pick you as her favorite student

When you put a mustache on her picture like this?

Class: ooh!

But that wasn't me.

Bradley, I'm enraged!

What kind of a boy draws facial hair on a woman?

I'm calling principal pimpell to discipline you.

Don't worry. I already called the police.

Oh, splendid.

I can't go to jail. I'm a teacher's pet.

Wait! Wait!

I brought miss fingerly an apple.

[Class cheering]

[Violin playing]

♪ This isall that ♪♪

And now, all thatpresents a semi-educational moment:

Everyday french with pierre escargot.

[Pierre speaking french poorly]

Ha ha ha ha ha!

[Speaking french poorly]

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Speaking french poorly]

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Whoa! Ha ha ha!

[Plink]

Ow.

Ow.

Honey, I brought home a movie for us to watch with the kids.

What did you rent?

The smelly little princess.

Oh, my! Kids come a-running!

Your father's rented the smelly little princess.

Yay!

Movie, yes!

I'll pop the tape in the vcr.

Do just that.

Thank you, daddy. You're the best.

Dad: I can't wait.

Um...

What's wrong, mom?

Yeah, where's the smelly little princess?

This darn vcr is broken.

We'll have to have it repaired.

But who are we going to get to repair it this late at night?

Mom: I don't know, hon.

[Whistling]

[Crash]

What was that?

Man: ha ha ha! That was me!

I'm...repairman... Man...man...man.

You're a repairman?

I'm therepairman. I can fix anything.

Can you fix the roof you just crashed through?

No, but something tells me that this vcr's giving you

A toilet full of trouble.

We appraised it a little bit differently,

But, yes, our vcr is quite broke.

Can you repair it?

Why, yes I can. You know why?

Because I'm... Repairman...man...man...man.

Ha ha ha!

What's with the echo?

Never you mind.

I have a vcr to repair, and repair it I will. Stand back.

Grr!

Dad: ok, watch out.

♪ La la la la la ♪

Careful! Careful!

Oh, watch it.

[Family screams]

Don't worry. I can repair that.

I'm a repairman. That's what I do.

All right, but please try to be more careful.

Righty-o.

Do you need a screwdriver?

No, sir!

Oh, let's not-- oh!

[Family yelling]

Our table!

Oh, here's the problem right here.

All you needed to do was just rewind the tape.

What are you talking about? Look what you've done to our vcr!

Don't thank me.

We won't!

[Buzzing]

Looks like lamp trouble. I can fix that for you jiffy quick!

[Family yelling]

Please, don't repair it.

But I must! I'm repairman... Man...man...man...man.

He's being very gentle.

Girl: daddy! Daddy!

Daddy!

What is he doing?

Oh! Ok!

That lamp won't be giving you any more trouble.

I repaired it.

No, you didn't. You k*lled it.

You squashed our helpless lamp.

It was nothing!

Mom: it was horrible! You're a bad repairman.

Man...man... Man...man...man!

Woman: hello, everybody.

Grandma, what happened?

What happened?

Oh, I fell off my motorcycle again

And broke my darn leg.

Broken leg? That sounds like something that needs to be repaired!

All: aah!

Tune in next week

For the continuing adventures of...

Repairman... Man...man...man...man.

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh ho ho ho! Hee hee hee ha ha ha!

Whoa, hee hee hey!

Whoa, ha ha ha!

Oh ho ho! Yeah!

Hey, clavis! Wake up.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!