02x06 - The Twinz

[bunniefuu]

Have you guys been out on stage yet?

No. Why?

Guys, there's no audience out there.

What do you mean, there's no audience?

I mean there's nobody there!

All the seats are empty.

And the show's about to start.

We better go check it out!

Yeah. There's no audience?!

See?

Where is everybody?

We don't know!

Let's check outside.

Ok, ok, outside.

[Engine running]

Look!

What?

Josh: katrina!

Katrina.

What?

Where have you been?

And why is the audience in your car?

I just took everybody swimming.

Swimming?

Katrina, why did you take the audience swimming?

Because it's hot.

Oh. Oh.

Well, come on. The show's about to start.

All right, audience out!

Kel: man!

Alisa: oh, god.

Ok, maybe there's only--

Wait a minute.

, , ...

[All talking at once]

Guys, let's go do the show.

Yeah. Yeah.

Uh, katrina...

You really shouldn't take the audience swimming

Without permission.

I brought them back.

But that doesn't matter.

Hey, thanks, katrina.

Yeah, thanks for the dip, katrina.

Sure. Anytime!

Let's go do the show.

[Applause]

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It'sall that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ We're entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that♪

♪ This is all that♪♪

Hey, girls, you wouldn't happen to have a pen, would you?

Oh, sorry.

Sorry.

Hey, it's baggin' saggin' barry!

Hey, barry.

Hey, did I hear you say you needed a pen?

Uh-huh.

Well, here. sh**t. What color?

I do enjoy pink.

Keep it.

The whole thing? Thanks.

All right.

Hey, barry, I forgot my lunch.

Oh, ok.

Clam chowder?

I love clam chowder!

All right.

Hey, barry, can you give me a ride home?

Why, yes, I can.

[People gasping]

Boy: wow!

Wow.

There you go. Drive safely.

Thanks!

All right.

You're the best, baggin' saggin' barry.

You know it's true. Right on.

Baggin' saggin' barry! Baggin' saggin' barry!

Ah, give it up!

Baggin' saggin' barry!

Barry, you got any pumpkin juice?

Could be.

There you go.

Wow.

Well, wait. I wanted pumpkin juice.

This is a pumpkin.

Well, just squeeze it.

I don't want to squeeze it!

Thanks anyway.

Wait a minute. This has never happened.

See, I always have what everybody wants.

Nobody's got pumpkin juice.

I do.

One can of pumpkin juice.

Thanks!

Barry: wait a minute. I'm baggin' saggin' barry,

And just who do you think you are?

Well, I'm baggin' saggin' mary.

What?! That's illegal or something bad like that.

I don't think so. I think you're jealous

Because I have more stuff in my pants than you.

Oh! Oh! Hey, hey, hey! Wow!

Oh, yeah? Prove it. Let's go.

All right, let's go. Bring it.

Ok. A purple balloon.

Both: purple balloon.

Shrimp cocktail.

Shrimp cocktail.

Tv set with red polka dots.

Tv set with red polka dots...

With matching remote.

Oh, wow! She's incredible!

Well, you got a matching remote?

Um...

Could be.

No.

No. Um...

Um, no.

No!

Look! You can change the channels

Right here in the front, see?

Kids: remote! Remote! Remote! Remote! Remote!

Ok! I don't have a remote.

There. I said it. You happy?

Sheesh.

I'm going away now. Good-bye.

[Quietly] bye.

Kids: baggin' saggin' mary! Baggin' saggin' mary!

Baggin' saggin' mary! Baggin' saggin' mary!

Remote!

Baggin' saggin' mary! Baggin' saggin' mary!

I'm baggin' saggin' sad.

[Footsteps]

Who's that?

Who's there?

Hi. I'm clavis. Ha ha!

Look, old man, I'm having a bad day.

And it's going to get worse

If you call me "old man" again!

You ain't too old for me to whup!

Now, son, what's the trouble?

Well...

I thought I had

The biggest, baggiest pants in the world...

And then I met baggin' saggin' mary.

Hello?

Hello!

Oh! Oh! Ahem.

Oh, I'm sorry. I was dreaming

About the time I went to sleep.

Now, look here, baggin' saggin',

You never know how good you are

Until you meet someone who can challenge you.

You see, you've been blessed with magic trousers.

Use your gift.

You've got to reach down deep in your pants

And pull out things you never knew you had.

Reach down deep.

Mister, you sure know

A thing or two about my pants.

That's the truth. Ha ha!

You take care now, son.

Ok.

[Groan]

It was nice meeting you.

Nice meeting you, too...

And reach down deep.

How about a telephone?

Cordless.

Cellular.

Abraham lincoln.

Kids: ooh...

Abraham lincoln?

Are you out of your minds? It can't be done.

Girl: you're wack.

Clavis, voice-over: you got to reach down deep in your pants...

Pull out things you never knew you had.

Reach down deep.

Wait!

[Kids gasping]

Boy: oh, wow!

Girl: wow!

Boy: come on!

Oh, wow!

Girl: oh, man!

Abraham lincoln!

Lincoln: thank you, baggin'...

Saggin' barry.

Saggin' barry! Yeah.

Yeah, that's it. All right.

Kids: baggin' saggin' barry! Baggin' saggin' barry!

Baggin' saggin' barry! Baggin' saggin' barry!

Baggin' saggin' barry! Baggin' saggin' barry!

Hey, you want to go see a movie?

Comedy?

Popcorn.

It's all in the pants.

Announcer: and now lori beth denberg

With more vital information for your everyday life.

If your grandmother has no teeth,

It's not nice to give her corn on the cob

And then laugh out loud while she gums it.

A penny saved is a penny earned,

And a penny earned will buy you absolutely nothing.

If your teacher gives you an "f,"

Find his car and let the air out of his tires.

You'll still get an "f,"

But teacher going to have to walk home!

Announcer: this has been lori beth denberg

With vital information.

♪ This is all that, this is all that ♪

Hi, girls. What's up?

Say, fellas, did you guys see

The big game last night?

All right, well, I'll catch up with you guys later.

Right.

Hiya, sally.

I--i was kind of wondering...

W-would you like to, um, go out with me?

Aah! Aah! Aah!

Ok, call me later.

♪ It's earboy, it's earboy

♪ His ears are really big

Hi, earboy.

Oh, hey, pizzaface.

What's wrong?

Same as always-- it's my ears.

Well, what do you mean?

You know my ears are enormous, pizzaface.

Oh, i--i hadn't noticed.

Yes, you have. I saw you looking at them in study hall.

You think they're huge, don't you?

You think I'm some kind of big-eared weirdo, don't you?

Admit it, pizzaface! Admit you think my ears are huge!

No, no, no! That's not true!

Well, I have occasionally thought

Your ears are larger than necessary,

But--but that's it! I swear!

[Sobbing]

Oh, come on. I'm sorry, pizzaface.

I'm sorry, pizzaface.

Don't cry. Don't cry.

Your pepperonis are going to fall off.

Come on now, you crazy pie.

Oh, but you frightened me.

I know. I'm sorry.

I got it!

I know a billionaire

Who has huge ears just like me,

And everybody likes him!

He'll know what to do.

[Whimpering]

[High voice] earboy!

What's your combination?

Gotcha! Gotcha!

Going to get you! Hee hee hee hee!

Are you feeling all right, mr. Perot?

Can't help it, earboy.

I love them bubbles. Lookit.

Gotcha! Gotcha! Going to get you!

Hee hee hee hee!

Hey, guess what! I got $ billion!

Woo!

Well, what's it doing in the fish t*nk?

Get a clue, earboy!

Would you rather have a t*nk full of fish

Or a t*nk full of cash? I rest my case.

Well, what happened to the fish?

Hee hee hee hee!

This is terrific. Look, mr. Perot, I have a problem.

Are you going to help me with it or not?

Ya-hoo! Look at me do the hula-hoop, earboy!

I'm a billionaire, and I'm doing the hula-hoopy!

Ya-hoo!

Is this a bad time?

Don't back-talk me, earboy, or I'll slap you so hard,

You'll be spitting orange juice out your tippytoes.

You know, it's funny. I hear that a lot.

You say people don't like you

Because you got big old honkin' ears?

That's right.

Well, I got big old ears, too,

And people love me like your mama bear loves clam chowder!

Hee hee hee hee!

Look, mr. Perot, not to be rude,

But people just love you because you have $ billion.

Ain't life sweet?

All you've got to do is think of a way to get rich,

And folks will love you, too!

But how am I going to think of a way to get rich?

Hey, what you eating there, earboy?

This? My lunch.

It's pork. I love pork.

I like to eat it on a stick.

Aha! That's it! Pork on a stick!

Pork on a stick?

Pork on a stick!

Pork on a stick?

Pork on a stick--

That's the idea that could make you as rich as me.

Here's what you got to do.

Hee hee hee hee!

Get your pork on a stick, everyone!

Pork on a stick!

Everyone wants a pork on a stick.

Get them while they're hot!

Let's hear it for earboy!

Earboy! Pork on a stick! Earboy! Pork on a stick! Earboy! Pork on a stick!

You did it, earboy. They're selling like crazy!

Thanks a billion, mr. Perot.

And I don't even want to know how you got in my cart.

Hee hee hee hee!

I'm just kind of sorry that you don't enjoy pork on a stick.

Oh, that's all right, earboy.

Actually, I was kind of thinking about some pizza!

Aah!

Hee hee hee hee!

♪ It's earboy, it's earboy

♪ His ears are really big

♪ This isall that ♪♪

♪ Kiki's boat ran into fran's

♪ They sank into the sea

♪ Now they're on this island here ♪

♪ Where they live perpetually

The island girls!

Oh! Bad coconut.

Good coconut!

Bad coconut!

What the-- what hit me?

Good morning, fran. You're up early.

Early birdie! Early birdie!

Isn't it a beautiful day?

Hey, what you thinking, fran? Huh? What you thinking?

Oh, I'm imagining you and me,

And I've got a baseball bat in my hand, and--

Hey, let's have a contest to see who can scream the loudest!

Let's not, kiki. Really, I don't think that that would be--

Aah!

Your turn, fran. Now you scream!

What? I can't hear anything. Hello?

Arrgh! Here be an island!

Arrgh!

Kiki, did you say, "arrgh. Here be an island. Arrgh?"

Arrgh!

There. You said it again--arrgh. Stop saying arrgh.

Arrgh!

Aah!

Hiya! I'm kiki.

Kiki, run!

Nobody move!

Oh, I love this game.

First one to move loses.

We pirates have come--

You moved! You moved!

Ahhh... Game over!

Arrgh! Arrgh!

Ohh!

Come on, guys. If we're going to play

"Who can scream the loudest,"

You're going to have to b*at this.

Aah!

Hee hee!

Never... Do that again.

Me eardrums are bleedin'.

You have the cutest hair!

Do you mousse?

Arrgh!

She's sorry, really.

Well, you're all going to be sorry

If you don't give us our treasure! Arrgh!

Arrgh!

But we don't have your treasure.

I know where it is.

I know where the treasure is!

I know where the treasure is!

Nah nah nah nah nah!

No, she doesn't. Kiki, please stop teasing the pirates.

Kiki: give me a piggyback!

Arrgh?

Arrgh! Arrgh!

Whee! Hee hee!

No! No!

Arrgh! Get her off of me!

Hee hee hee!

I'm a pirate

And not a horse for the likes of you to be ridin'! Arrgh!

Have I mentioned I'm not with her?

Silence!

Now...are you gonna give us our treasure,

Or...

Do we have to whack your friend in the head with this fish?

Why me? I don't want to be whacked with a fish.

Kiki, please tell them you don't know where their treasure is.

Tell them or I'll be needlessly whacked!

Kiki?

Kiki?

Where's the wench?

Where be the wench?

Boo!

Arrgh!

Arrgh! Uh!

Missed me! Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me!

Arr...

Arrgh!

That does it! We're getting off this island without the stinkin' treasure!

Let's get out of here!

Aw...you're leaving? How come?

'Cause your driving us out of our pirate minds!

Let's get out of here before me blood pressure gets any higher.

Wait! Wait!

I know you're vicious pirates and everything,

But for the love of sanity, take me with you!

No!

Hey, pirates, you know, I just thought of a song, a song about pirates.

Here it goes.

♪ Pirate, pirate, pirate, pirate, pirate, pirate ♪

♪ Pirate, pirate, pirate, pirate... ♪

She is so aggravatin'!

Aye! Me filled with hate.

What can we do?

I know.

[Sinister laughter]

Fran: why me? I didn't annoy the pirates.

Why did they have to bury me, too?

This is so fun!

Oh, you're so wrong.

Ow. I got sand in my eye.

I'll get it.

Stop! You're getting spit drops on me.

Look, fran, I can count to a million!

...............

I can't believe this.

We're never going to get off this island!

You and I are going to be here...

For...

♪ Ever and ever and ever and ever and ever ♪

Stop it. Stop it.

♪ And ever and ever and ever and ever and ever... ♪

Hey, clavis! Wake up.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!