04x10 - No Matter What: Part Two

[bunniefuu]

[LAUGHTER]

[POP MUSIC PLAYING]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS,
LAUGHTER CONTINUE]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[SOBBING]

[PAUL] It's okay.

It's all right. Just let it out.

- [LUKE SOBS]
- [PAUL] Okay.

- Hey.
- [PAUL] Hi. You all right?

- [LUKE] Yeah.
- I ordered you, uh,

an espresso and a
croissant. Is that okay?

Oh, yeah, thanks. I'll need that.

We had a k*ller night
with Jay last night.

- He's just not sleeping at all.
- Hmm.

And then he was sick
in his f*cking car seat

on the way back from shopping,
and it went all down the side.

Yeah. No, I can... I
can imagine, you know?

- [SCOFFS] Sorry.
- Look, I know you're meant

to be heading back to
Manchester tomorrow,

but I just... [INHALES DEEPLY] um...

I needed to tell you something.

Okay.

If you want to defer
your place for two years,

then you can.

What?

An old mate of mine
works at your college,

and, yes, there will be a
place for you in two years

if you need to drop out now.

- [LAUGHS]
- [CHUCKLES]

That's amazing news. Oh,
my... Thank you so much.

No, you're welcome. Yeah.

This is a lifesaver. [LAUGHS]

- I need to call Maya.
- Yeah, go ahead.

[SIGHS] Dad, you are an absolute star.

You are an absolute,
f*cking star. [LAUGHS]

You d*ck, Paul. You
total f*cking bastard.

He was gonna quit completely, Ally,

if they wouldn't let him defer.

But deferring, quitting,
it's the same thing.

He'll get a job now, and he'll
never go back to studying.

Well, things might be
different in two years.

How? He will still be a dad.
He'll be a dad to a toddler,

so he'll wanna be away in Manchester

even less than he does now.

No, you don't know that for sure.

- I do know that.
- Okay.

Luke has just thrown his future away.

Actually, you know what, Paul?

You have just thrown his future away.

- Oh! f*ck off.
- You f*ck off.

I did what I thought was best for Luke.

Yeah, and you completely ignored

what I thought was best for Luke.

Yes.

Yes.

Jesus Christ.

You unilaterally made a decision
that we had not agreed on.

I don't know where this
is coming from, right?

- I was in the car with him.
- [ALLY] Yeah.

You weren't. He was gonna quit college.

I had to make a decision there and then.

A unilateral decision.
You could have called me

before you spoke to this Andrew bloke.

Yeah, I could have done, but I...

But you decided to unilaterally do

- what you wanted to do.
- You're overusing

- the word "unilateral."
- I know I am.

[FOOTSTEPS DESCEND STAIRS]

[ALLY] Hi. Hi, Grace.
Uh, I didn't know...

I had no idea you were here.

Yeah, Ava and I have been here
most of the morning. [SIGHS]

Oh, um, I didn't hear a peep
out of either you or Ava.

[GRACE] We've just been reading.

I don't think we've
said much to each other

apart from "hi" and "goodbye."
[CHUCKLES] It's nice.

That is nice, actually.

Anyway, Ava's meeting
Holly for lunch, so I'm off.

Aw.

- Thank you for having me.
- Yeah. Very welcome.

- I've been the perfect hostess.
- [CELLPHONE CHIMES]

- [LAUGHTER]
- See you soon.

- [PAUL] Cheers.
- [ALLY] See you, lovely.

- Grace, bye now.
- [ALLY] Bye-bye.

[SIGHS]

[FRONT DOOR OPENS AND CLOSES]

- Got a text from Dad.
- Is everything all right?

Yeah, I don't know. His predictive text

is always so f*cking mad.

Uh, "You mama lost the god on
and week need to help a time."

- Yeah, that is nonsense.
- Mm. [INHALES DEEPLY]

Might be about your mum's health.

- Hmm? What do you mean?
- Your dad

popped around when
you were in Manchester.

He, um, he was worried about your mum

'cause she didn't know
where she was the other day.

- Wh... Why didn't he tell me?
- He didn't want to worry you.

I said that I would tell
you if it came up because

we don't tell lies to each other.

Hmm. Uh, I'll go and see what's what.

Send my love.

- [FRONT DOOR CLOSES]
- [EXHALES DEEPLY]

[HOLLY] Brighton is like
all the best parts of London

squashed together, and there's a beach.

Do you think you might go back
there to do any more shifts?

Better than that. They
reckon there might be

a permanent position
for me there very soon.

So, you might move down to Brighton?

It's not that far. Less
than an hour on the train.

Should we go now?

Cheeky trip to Brighton?
Come on. I'm so bored.

- I wanna do something.
- I'm not sure. [CHUCKLES]

Ava, come on. We never
do anything these days.

We do. This is doing something.

This is just more sitting about.
Let's go to Brighton right now.

We can go out tonight
and stay in a shitty B&B

like we're nans. [LAUGHS]

- Sure. Yeah. Okay. Great.
- [LAUGHS]

Finish your chips. You're full.

- I do not want any more chips.
- [HOLLY LAUGHS]

"You mama lost the god on
and week need to help a time."

- Is that what I wrote?
- Yes.

I put it through an Enigma machine,

but it blew up and metal
springs went everywhere. [SIGHS]

- [FOLDS GLASSES]
- What I meant to say was,

"Your mum had left the gas
on, and we need to talk."

Left the gas on? For how long?

- Five hours.
- Christ. [INHALES DEEPLY]

I knew she'd been getting
a bit forgetful, but...

Like I said to Ally,

I think she's gone the
same way me mum did.

[CLICKS TEETH] Okay.

Do we need to take her
and get a diagnosis or...

No, she won't see any doctors.

She doesn't want it confirmed.

She's terrified, Paul.

[CLICKS TEETH] So, uh,
what can I do to help?

- What do you both need?
- I'm gonna care for her.

Do all the cookin' and the cleanin'

and the washin' and all that.

Dad, that's lovely, but you
can't do any of those things.

You've never cooked
anything except toast

in your entire life.

Well, I thought you could teach us.

You're a great cook.

I'd have to start from scratch,
though. The absolute basics.

Yeah. Yeah, let's try that.

- You've never chopped an onion?
- No.

What did you eat when
Mum was in the hospital

- giving birth to me?
- [INHALES DEEPLY]

Chips from the fish shop. Toast.

Cheese roll at the pub.

Battered saveloy from the fish shop.

Lots of cream crackers and butter.

Mince and potatoes at the pub.

That does sound brilliant, actually.

Well, uh, look, here... here's an onion.

Everything starts with an onion.

- Everything?
- Not literally everything.

No, the First World w*r
didn't start with an onion.

That was more complicated,

but lots and lots of
meals start with an onion.

So, what do I do with it?

And don't say, "Shove it up your arse."

[LAUGHS] Well, if... if
that option's off the table,

then, uh, you want to start
by just slicing the top off.

Which is the top? The hairy bit?

Ah, no, the other end.

The... The hairy bit's
the root. So, if you...

- Ooh, not that much. [LAUGHS]
- [Kn*fe CLATTERS]

- Sorry.
- That's okay. It's all right.

Uh... uh... so if...

Yeah. Turn it round,
and, um, we're gonna

cut the, uh, the root off.

- [JIM] The hairy bit?
- [PAUL] The hairy bit, yeah.

Yeah, but, um, you know, try...

try and cut off as little as possible.

Well, that's not enough,
Dad. [CHUCKLES] That's...

Yeah, bit more in.

That's far too f*cking much, isn't it?

- Sorry. Sorry, Paul.
- It's all right. It's all right.

Tr... Try taking the skin off

Yeah, so you can use your fingers.

You know, you can use your finger.

Put the Kn*fe down. Yeah, brilliant.

[PAUL] Just the outer layer.
That's quite a lot of layers.

- Sorry, sorry.
- f*cking hell. [LAUGHS]

- What's happening?
- Oh, my. Oh.

Paul's teaching us how to cook.

What made you think
that was a good idea?

Christ Almighty. You'll cock it up, Jim.

Paul will shout at you.
You'll tell him to eff off.

There's knives lying about.
One of you will commit m*rder.

If you want to learn to cook,
Jim, Ava will teach you.

So, do I just chop up what's left?

- No, step away from the onion.
- [Kn*fe CLATTERS]

- Lovely to see you, Paul.
- Yeah, you too, Mum.

Dad mentioned that,
uh... things, uh, that...

that it's been a bit
difficult at the minute.

Well, I'm going doolally,
Paul, like Jim's mum did.

Round the bend and up the pictures.

I'm tending to stay

- around here these days.
- Mm-hmm.

I can get a bit discombobulated
if I go out.

Okay.

But you... you... you
still seem like you, though.

- Yeah, most of the time I am.
- Mm.

Then sometimes...

like yesterday,

Jim told me I kept looking
for the dog, for Biddy.

Yeah, I was upset that

- I couldn't find her anywhere.
- Mm.

I suppose I must have
thought she needed feeding

or... or taking for a walk.

You do know that Biddy d*ed
in, like, , right? [LAUGHS]

- No, I know, love.
- Whew! [CHUCKLES]

- Yeah, I do know.
- Yeah.

But also...

sometimes, I... I just don't.

I love you, Mum. Always love you.

I love you, too, sweetheart.

[LAUGHS]

[SUNIL] It's just a small one-bed place.

Yeah, but it's in a sweet
little street in Streatham Hill.

Lots of window boxes

and Neighbourhood Watch stickers.
[CHUCKLES]

- I think it'd be really good...
- Yeah.

For Luke and Maya to have
their own place, wouldn't it?

- They need privacy and space.
- [PAUL] Mm-hmm.

The rent won't be cheap,
though. We can contribute.

- [MEENA CHUCKLES]
- There's no need, really.

You're paying for Jay's naming party.

Yeah, but that's hardly
comparable. [LAUGHS]

You're welcome to contribute,
Ally, but we're more than happy

to cover it all ourselves, aren't we?

Wow, thank you. Yeah, that'd
be... that'd be amazing.

The landlord's a mate, so
it's only hugely expensive

rather than hideously.

[LAUGHTER]

Luke was telling me that
he's joined an agency

for catering shifts.

- Catering?
- You know, waiting tables,

kitchen portering, that sort of stuff.

Yeah, no, I... I know...
I know what it is.

He just... He didn't mention that.

- Well, it's flexible.
- Yeah.

Ideally, he can do shifts
that fit in with the baby

and Maya's studying.

Right, because he's not
doing any studying himself.

Mm.

Has everybody had enough to eat?

- It was great. Thank you, Meena.
- I'm fine, thanks.

- Okay.
- Mm.

- [SUNIL CLEARS THROAT]
- Brilliant.

Of course we should
pay towards the rent.

They said they'd cover it.

That's 'cause they're polite people.

I'm worried about our money, Ally.

Dad's not gonna be able to
look after Mum much longer.

So, that means we're gonna
have to pay for carers

and possibly a nursing home.

That's, what, grand a year,
minimum? It's mad money.

Yeah, we're not there yet, are we?

Plus, Luke and Maya are
gonna need to be subbed,

apart from the rent.
That's energy bills, phone,

Council Tax, then Ava's
gonna go off to uni.

- Never thought of you as mean.
- The f*ck?

[PAUL] Uh, I just don't want us
to have to work till we're .

I... I would like to stop
working at some point.

You enjoy your job.

Yeah, I enjoy Taramasalata, hon,

but I don't want to be
compelled to eat it until I die.

Well, if you don't want
to pay towards the rent,

then that's fine, but I will.

Oh, smooth. Yeah, so
I look like the c**t.

Fab. Thanks, man.

- [AVA] Oh, hi.
- Hey.

I was just going to see Granddad,

give him his first cookery lesson.

- Ah. Well, have fun.
- Thank you.

- Is everything all right?
- No, not really. [EXHALES]

- I'm sorry.
- Oh...

So, I forgot to got to
ask. How was Brighton?

Yeah. Great.

I haven't been there for ages.
Had you planned to go or...

No, no, it was totally spontaneous.

Holly said, "Let's go," and we went.

Oh, she really knows how to
sweep someone off their feet.

It looks like she's going to
move down to Brighton for good.

Oh. Wow. How do you feel about that?

I don't know.

Well, if you really love each other,

- then you'll make it work.
- Yeah.

Mum, who was the first person
you ever said "I love you" to?

Steve Watts. We were and a half.

- Did you mean it?
- No. I mean, in that moment,

yes, yes, I did.

Well, it's the most powerful
thing you can ever say, I think.

Mm.

I want to really mean it when I say it.

And you will, sweetheart.

And you'll know when it
feels right to say it, too.

- Yeah, I will.
- [ALLY] Mm.

Thanks, Mum.

[CHUCKLES]

- I love you.
- I love you.

- See ya later.
- See ya.

Time for your lesson, Granddad.

- Right you are.
- Good luck.

- Thanks.
- I meant Ava.

[JIM] This is like I've
learned a magic trick.

I've baked a spud and
made an omelet. [LAUGHS]

[AVA] You and Granny should share it.

[AVA] Granny?

Granny?

She's not here.

No one's seen her. She hasn't
been in the lounge all day.

She hasn't been outside of
here on her own for weeks

because it worries her.
She can forget where she is.

How long since you last saw her?

How long did that potato take?

minutes.

- Hey, any news?
- No, she's not here.

Right. Dad, any idea
where she might have gone?

Anything she said
that might give a clue?

She has been talking a lot recently

about our old dog Biddy.

Should we go and have look up
where we scattered the ashes?

- Yeah. Okay. Thank you.
- You're welcome.

[JIM] She loved that dog.

- Yeah, me, too.
- Can't see Granny.

[JIM] This was the spot
where we scattered Biddy.

- [PAUL] Yeah.
- [JIM] She loved to swim.

Your mum got very upset

because some ducks
tried to eat the ashes.

[CELLPHONE RINGING]

It's... It's Alison.

Hey, Alison. Any news?

Oh, brilliant.

[SIGHS] Fantastic. Thank you so much.

- She's back at home.
- Thank God.

Yeah, we're headed
back now. See you soon.

I only popped up the supermarket
for a few odds and sods.

Yeah, we were worried, Mum.

I'm not completely barmy yet, Paul.

I have still got some marbles,

and I can still go out
and about if I fancy it.

I need some independence,

and you all need to calm down a bit.

Maybe we did overreact a bit,
but it's difficult.

It absolutely f*cking is,

'cause she's been out and
got confused before now.

She said so herself, so it's
reasonable to be worried.

Hang on, is that an omelet?

- And I did a baked spud. Look.
- [PAUL CHUCKLES]

Yes, you did. Good work, Heston.

[AVA CHUCKLES]

[JAY CRYING]

[SIGHS] Do... Do we
try just leaving him?

You mean controlled crying?
No, I... I can't do that.

No, I just... I mean,

maybe we don't
immediately go pick him up.

He's six months now, should
be sleeping more than this.

f*cking t*rture.

[JAY CONTINUES CRYING IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHS HEAVILY]

[CRYING CONTINUES]

I can't stand it. [SIGHS]

[CRYING CONTINUES]

f*cking hell.

[CRYING CONTINUES]

_

Top up?

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

- Hi, Ally.
- Oh.

I just wanted you to
be the first to know

that Siobhan and I are engaged
to be married... to each other.

- Oh! That's amazing news.
- [LAUGHS]

Well, how... how... how's
she getting on with the twins?

Oh, brilliantly. They love her.

Oh, wow. So, what's her secret?

Very early on, she
yelled at them a few times

to, "Go on, f*cking f*ck yourselves

to the top of the
f*cking Shard." [LAUGHS]

And now they're as good as gold.

[LAUGHS] Wow. Well,
she's a natural mother.

- Yeah.
- So, when's the wedding?

Uh, soon. Just a registry office.

I did the big wedding thing when
Karen and I first got together.

Stately home, string
quartet, fireworks, ABBA.

So, did ABBA play at your wedding?

No, ABBA tribute. "Bjorn Yesterday."

- [CHUCKLES]
- [DARREN] Very good.

The Benny one, um, looked like
he should be on a register,

- but they sounded great.
- That's what matters. [LAUGHS]

[CHUCKLES]

[POP MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING]

- One thing...
- Hmm.

About this, you know,
whatever it is I've got,

is that it makes your memories
of years ago very sharp.

- Mm-hmm.
- Well, I was just thinking

about a girl I was at primary
school with, Angela Barker,

and we used to call her...

♪ Angela Barker, squashed tomater ♪

Why?

I don't know.

I mean, it's not very funny, is it?

And she didn't look like a tomato.

She was a pretty little thing.

That's probably why we
called her names... jealous.

Her parents were Methodists.

Right. [CHUCKLES]

I'm rambling. [LAUGHS]

Well, you've always done that, Mum.

There's no change there, eh? [CHUCKLES]

- How's Dad's cooking coming on?
- Oh, very good. Yeah, he made

a lovely roast chicken
breast yesterday...

- Mm.
- With oven chips

and broccoli. Mm, beautiful.

Hang on. Sorry. [CHUCKLES]
Dad cooks broccoli?

I know. [LAUGHS]

It's a bit like saying
Dad does modern dance.

[LAUGHS] f*ckin' hell.

- Oh. Now, here we go.
- [LUKE SIGHS]

I've never done that before.
I didn't think it would work.

Uh, so...

Uh, so we thought about having
a... a naming ceremony for Jay,

uh, with speeches and everything.

- Poems and readings.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- But then we... we thought,

you know, we might be parents,
but we're still teenagers,

and we would hate to sit
through all that bollocks.

[LAUGHTER]

But this is still a naming party,

and the only formal thing
we'll ask you to do right now

is to raise a glass... [CHUCKLES]

- Thank you.
- [LUKE] Okay.

[MAYA] And toast to our beautiful baby,

Jay Nikam-Worsley.

[ALL] Jay Nikam-Worsley.

- [GLASSES CLINK]
- [GUEST] Aw.

- [GUEST # ] Whoo-hoo!
- [GUEST # WHISTLES]

[CHEERING]

[APPLAUSE]

[AVA] I was, um, watching
you and Granny the other day,

just sitting together,
not saying anything.

Does that happen more now
that Granny's getting ill?

No, no.

We've always done it.

That's true love, isn't it?

Being in the same room and
not needing to say a word.

You don't have to be spouting sonnets

in a gondola in Venice to be romantic.

You can stay in your own
front room in Stockwell

with a Daily Mirror and your gob shut.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

Shall I go and get the cake?

[CELLPHONE RINGS]

[AVA] Hi, Holly. How's it going?

[CHUCKLES] Yeah.

Well, I'm... I'm sorry,
hon, that things have all

got a bit, uh, drastic between us.

[POP MUSIC PLAYING OVER SPEAKERS]

- It's just that I...
- No, look, I get it. I do.

We spent years looking after the kids.

Now we're looking after our mums,

but we're still looking
after our kids, so...

- when is it gonna be our time?
- Never.

- No.
- It's never our time.

Well, it was our time in
our s, and no one told us.

- [CHUCKLES]
- I think the government

should hand out a leaflet to everyone

as they're turning ,
saying, "This is it, folks.

This is the time. You better
enjoy it, for Christ's sake."

[JAY WAILING IN DISTANCE]

Wouldn't do those two poor
bastards much good, would it?

[WAILING]

[PAUL] No.

[JAY CONTINUES WAILING]

Uh, I'm gonna get a bit of food.

- You all right?
- Uh, yeah, fine, thanks. Fine.

Well, this is all very
splendid, isn't it?

Mm. Yeah, but everyone's a
bit fraught underneath it all.

Oh, you and Paul bickering again?

No, we're not bickering.

We're having a massive f*cking row.

- Come on.
- Of course, sorry.

Jim and Jackie are having
problems with Jackie's health,

and Luke and Maya seem exhausted,

and Ava's finding out
about love with Holly.

Very complicated lives.

- Whereas you...
- [LAUGHTER]

I avoid relationships like the plague.

As a result, I am as happy as Larry,

live in a beautiful
house, and I'm loaded.

Wow. There is a moral
in there somewhere.

[LAUGHS]

- [CRYING]
- Oh, dear. What's the matter?

- [JIM] What is it, little fella?
- [MAYA] Hey, Jay.

[WAILING CONTINUES]

Now, I wanted to give you this.

[WAILING CONTINUES]

- [JIM] It's a cake.
- [WAILING CONTINUES]

- Aw.
- A naming day cake.

Granddad made it.

- Oh, wow.
- [MAYA] That's amazing.

- Thank you, Jim. Wow.
- [CHUCKLES]

Thanks.

- [JAY CONTINUES WAILING]
- [AVA] Sorry. Excuse me.

I just have to go tell
someone I love them.

[JAY CONTINUES WAILING]

- [MAYA] Hey. Shh, please.
- [CAKE TIN CLATTERS]

I'm going to, uh, I'm gonna
take him out in his buggy,

- try and get him to sleep.
- [MAYA] Okay, okay, okay.

- [WAILING CONTINUES]
- Come on.

- [GRACE] Ava. Hi.
- Grace.

[CHUCKLES] I just texted you.

I need to leave now to
get to my sister's dinner.

It's been a lovely party.

Okay. I just wanted to, uh,
say something before you go.

Um...

I wanted to say I love you.

And I'm sorry to spring
it on you in a mad way.

And I don't know if you
like girls or boys or both

or neither, but I just
need to tell you I love you,

and I love being with you,
but more than just a friend.

I thought I loved Holly, and
she thought she might love me,

but I don't think we do,

but it made me realize that I love you.

And you don't have to respond to this.

In fact, don't until
you've thought about it,

but I love you, and
that's it, and thank you.

But you've not got that
kind of money, Paul.

Yeah, we'll... we'll find
it. Whatever you need.

You know, carers, a home.

You coming to live with us, you know?

We'll... We'll make it work, right?

- You're not on your own, Dad.
- Thanks, son.

Is it me, or is it a bit parky in here?

Well, I'm warmed by booze,
so I'm not the one to ask.

I think my cardie's in your car, Paul.

You couldn't fetch it for me, could you?

- Yeah. Yeah, of course.
- Thanks.

You know, I might try baking
bread now I've done a cake.

Oh, well, the world's your oyster.

Might do oysters as well, f*ck it.

Maybe you should sit down.

That's it. Come on.

[JACKIE] We can look after
each other. [CHUCKLES]

- Come on. Shh, shh, shh, shh.
- [WAILING]

Stop it now. Come on.
Let's stop crying now.

- Just go to sleep.
- [CONTINUES WAILING]

Yeah. Just please go to sleep, Jay.

[JAY CONTINUES WAILING]

Just go to f*cking sleep, Jay!

- [JAY CRYING]
- [PANTING]

[JAY CONTINUES CRYING]

How could I shout at him like that?

Easily, mate.

Easily.

They drive you to the edge of sanity

and then push you off the f*cking cliff.

[BABBLING]

You don't even know you
have that rage inside you,

- and then suddenly...
- [PUNCHES PALM]

Wallop.

- Please don't tell Maya.
- No, I'm not going to.

I think you need a break, mate...

To recharge

and, you know, recalibrate.

Why don't me and Mum take
Jay for a couple of days?

- No, it's okay.
- You... You still see him

in the days if... if you want to.

But, you know, just a couple of nights

and a couple of evenings to yourselves.

You know, have... have a pizza,

have a lie-in. [SCOFFS]

- I'll speak to Maya.
- Mm-hmm.

Look, mate, I... I...

I really do know that
you feel like you're

in the f*cking middle of the spin dryer

with everything in the world,

but... I'm telling you, mate,
a couple of nights, just rest.

It'll do wonders. Trust me.

Thank you. Really, thanks. Thank you.

It's okay. [CHUCKLES]

[JAY COOING]

[JAY CRYING IN DISTANCE]

[SIGHS]

[CRYING CONTINUES]

It's just after : .

Whose turn is it to get up? [SIGHS]

[INHALES DEEPLY] I think it's mine.

No, it's... I think it's
my turn, isn't... isn't it?

It's fine. You just,
uh, go back to sleep.

[SIGHS]

Well, I'm awake now anyway, so...

So am I. [INHALES DEEPLY]

[GRUNTS]

[SIGHS]

Shall we both go?

- [JAY CONTINUES CRYING]
- [CHUCKLES]

[PAUL GRUNTS]

[ALLY] Coming, Jay.

[PAUL SIGHS] Noisy little fucker.

[PAUL SIGHS]