16x06 - Pretty Woman

[bunniefuu]

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why do you miss when my baby kisses me?

♪ Heartbeat

♪ Why does a love kiss stay in my memory? ♪

♪ MUSIC: Little Queenie by Chuck Berry

ROSIE: Give us a big smile. Say cheese.

CAMERA CLICKS That was a lovely one that.

Have your picture taken with Miss Ashfordly. Only two bob.

You sure he knows how to work that thing?

He was keen to have a go.

-I can see why. - I'll introduce you if you want.

You know Miss Ashfordly?

Yeah, back when she were plain old Diana Hill.

We were best friends at school.

Didn't get much of a look-in then, either.

We were supposed to be engaged. You can't just dump me!

Look, Ellis!

I'll come and see you later, but not now.

All right, let's go. Have you tried the tombola?

Thanks, Rob.

Have your picture taken with Miss Ashfordly.

Only two bob. If you'd like to step in.

MUSIC CONTINUES

BERNIE: Another nice big smile, please.

♪ I got lumps in my throat

♪ When I saw her comin' down the aisle

♪ I got the wiggles in my knees

♪ When she looked at me and sweetly smiled

DAVID: Hello?

DAVID SPEAKING TO DOG

DOOR CLOSES

Hello, Mr Fowles.

I've er, I've brought your dinner for ya.

And there-there's your paper.

Oh, er, Aunt Peggy says

have you got any tips for us for the racing this week?

Oh, right. CHUCKLES

CAMERA CLICKS Great.

Reinforcements? Are you expecting trouble?

I reckon I can handle this one, Phil.

- If you're lucky! - Oh! You're all the same.

Well, go on then! Go and have your picture taken.

-Laura. - Miss Wainwright!

- What are you doing here? - Looking for you.

You left your revision notes at school.

Thanks.

Your first paper's in three weeks.

I know. Big sister's supposed to be giving me a lift to the library.

But it looks like she's got more important things to do.

It's so degrading.

Are you going to do something about it?

If not, I'll give you a lift. Go on.

BERNIE: There you go. A rose between two thorns.

Ah. Well, it's good of you, at least.

LAUGHS BERNIE: Hang onto that.

It'll be worth a bob or two when she's Miss World.

- Oh. Is that the plan? - ROSIE: Yeah.

Miss Yorkshire this weekend, then Miss UK.

- Then Miss World finals next year! - Fingers crossed.

Listen, I'm sorry about Ellis making a fuss.

He did seem upset.

Well, if I'm serious about Miss Yorkshire,

I can't have a boyfriend.

Unless he's a footballer with an E-Type!

No, it's the rules!

expl*si*n

What was that?

SHOCKED EXCLAMATIONS

Gina!

- GINA: Phil. - What happened?

It just went off. It knocked me over.

Come on, let's get you in.

FIRE EXTINGUISHER HISSING

RUNNING FOOTSTEPS

That's my car!

Stay back. There's nothing you can do.

FIRE EXTINGUISHER HISSING

DOOR CLOSES

'Ey, that's what I like to see.

Nice clean plate.

DAVID: He's just having a bit of a nap.

Yeah, talking of naps, did you ask him about the gee-gees?

Oh, yeah, I did.

But, you know, to be honest, he's not quite with it today.

Even so, he knows more about horses

than Lester Piggott and the Queen Mum put together.

How are you, love?

GROANS SOFTLY

Oh, I know.

Anyway, me and our David

was just chatting about what to back on the Lincoln.

PAPER RUSTLING

What do you think?

Uh?

The Lincoln!

Westport Lad.

Had £ on it.

Westport L...

Westport Lad?

That's -. Are you su...

Oh, well. Never mind.

- Are you gonna put money on it? - No, I'm not.

It's a mug's game

DOOR OPENS backing outsiders.

Oh, hello. Visiting again?

Well, that's what neighbours are for.

Mind you, he ought to be in hospital.

- You try telling him that. - Come on, lad.

You know, if there's anything I can do with...

No, not really. Thanks.

♪ Riding along on my pushbike, honey

♪ When I noticed you

GLASS SHATTERS

♪ Riding downtown in a hurry, honey

♪ Down South Avenue

♪ You looked so pretty

♪ As you were riding along

♪ You looked so pretty

♪ As you were singing this so-o-ong

♪ Tssh, oh-oh, tssh, ahh

♪ Tssh, oh-oh, tssh, ahh

♪ Tssh, oh-oh, tssh, ahh

Oh, flip!

♪ Tssh, oh-oh, tssh, ahh ♪

Stolen? What do you mean stolen?

I only left it for a moment and it were gone.

You're supposed to nick villains, not encourage them!

Yes, sarge.

When was the last time you made an arrest?

PC YOUNGER: I'm not sure.

It must be over a month ago.

Has all crime in Ashfordly suddenly stopped?

PC YOUNGER: No, sergeant.

You owe me some arrests.

Preferably by starting with the clown who nicked your bike!

ROB: Like starting fires, do you?

What are you on about?

Diana Hill's car caught fire.

-Is she all right? - Yes. But the car's a write-off.

- I should phone her. - Well, hold on.

Did you see anyone after you left the village hall?

No. Everyone was inside, gawping at Diana.

-And what did you do? - I came back here to help my dad.

I'll check up on that.

- You seemed very angry with Diana. - Yeah. I was.

SIGHS Look, it wasn't me

And there's people out there who've really got it in for her.

What do you mean? SIGHS

You ask her. She wouldn't tell me.

But something's scared her.

Something's really scared her.

ALF: Geoff.

I've got to make an arrest.

ALF: Hm. I heard.

What do I do?

Well, it's not hard if you put your mind to it.

I mean, I served with this bobby once.

He knew the road traffic laws inside out.

We called him "gravel knees".

He was always down on all fours, checking for dodgy exhausts.

- I could try that. - I wouldn't advise it.

Some bright spark reversed over him.

But there's no shortage of laws to break.

SOMBRE MUSIC

DOOR CREAKS

- Hiya. - Hi.

I must pass this house every day. Never knew it was here.

Mum likes it like that. You know, quiet.

Mind if I come in?

Er... no.

OK. Just don't... don't upset my mum.

What's going on?

I'm here about Diana's car, Mrs Hill.

Well, I don't know why she needed it in the first place.

DIANA: Mum.

Ellis told me that someone's been threatening you.

MRS HILL: No.

He's the only one that threatens her.

What do you mean?

He must have done it. Who else would be so stupid?

- You don't know that. - I saw him!

Where was this?

Miss Wainwright, my teacher,

she gave me a lift back from the village hall.

I was fed up of waiting for Miss Ashfordly.

-Go on. - Ellis was walking back that way.

Laura, love, would you give me a hand upstairs?

- Mum, I'm talking! - Go on. It's your turn.

Gina Ward's in hospital.

She could have been seriously injured.

Are you sure there's nothing else you can tell me?

Look, Ellis must have got confused.

Maybe I said something about the other girls being jealous.

I don't know. I didn't mean it.

Why would anyone want to hurt me?

How are you?

I won't be pulling pints tonight, that's for sure.

And my coat's ruined.

Well, h-here, give me that.

Would you and your coat like a lift home?

- I was gonna get a taxi. - Oh, well, if you'd prefer.

Give over. Course I wouldn't!

Then your carriage awaits.

CUTLERY CLINKING

David. Have you been listening to the wireless?

Westport Lad won the Lincoln!

Old Dan had a fiver on it at -!

That'll come in handy!

Not if he can't get to the bookies, it won't.

I think we should offer our services.

- ROB: Evening. - Oh, hello, Rob.

- Pint, please, Oscar. - Right, OK.

- Busy day? - Mm. Very.

Dan Fowles is a lot worse.

And my fiance's coming to visit, so I'm trying sort the house out.

How about you?

Oh, trying to get to the bottom of this car fire.

I was with Diana's mum this afternoon. She told me.

Did she say anything about anyone threatening Diana?

No. Why would anyone thr*aten her?

- She's a real goody two-shoes. - And very pretty.

Oh, you noticed!

Sometimes that means boyfriend trouble.

- People jealous of her. - I haven't heard anything.

Mind you, in this village,

parading around in a swimsuit is asking for trouble.

- It's just a bit of fun. - If you're shallow.

- Or a bloke. - Comes to much the same thing.

CAR DOORS CLOSING

- GINA: Thanks, Phil. - PHIL: My pleasure.

I've hardly seen you in ages, not to talk to, anyway.

How about a drink one night?

You know me, I never turn away customers.

- Ah. Right. I'll see you then. - See you.

SOFT MUSIC

Phil.

SIGHS

Give us a hug.

Is Oscar watching?

Yes.

Right. I'd better get back in.

-Thanks. - That's all right.

SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

ROB: Rosie. You were right about that car.

Forensics say it was set on fire deliberately.

-Who'd do that to Diana? - I was hoping you could tell me.

- She's not said anything? - No, nothing.

- What about the family? - Well, er...

There's only her and Laura. You never see their mum.

I call her "the invisible woman".

And their dad?

As far as I know, he d*ed years back.

I've got a feeling that Diana isn't telling me something.

- Could you have a word with her? - Well, I can try.

I'd be grateful.

She could be in real danger.

SHEEP BLEATING

Oh, hello, Peggy. David.

I'm afraid there's some bad news.

Dan d*ed last night.

I was here with him. He just slipped away.

Oh, I... I am sorry.

The doctor's been, and Bernie's going to arrange the funeral.

I'm sorry.

DAVID SIGHS

My name's Cath Wainwright and I'm part of a women's group.

WI or Mothers' Union?

How can I help you, Miss Wainwright?

We're organising a demo against the beauty contest

and we'll do everything we can, within the law, to stop it.

So long as it is within the law there should be no problem.

How many are you expecting?

We've got coaches coming from York, Leeds and Hull.

A lot of us feel very strongly about this.

I don't blame you. I wouldn't let my daughters do it.

TELEPHONE RINGING IN BACKGROUND

♪ I'm the urban spaceman, baby I've got speed... ♪

Oh, sorry!

Er, oi. Oi!

Do you realise that i-i-it's a criminal offence to allow the...

..the discharge of offensive matter onto the highway.

It's only a bit of water!

We do this all the time.

Oh! So there are previous offences to take into consideration.

I'll have to report this.

Don't be so daft! You can't do that.

I can. It's the law.

POP MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO

- Diana, what's going on? - What do you mean?

You know something about what happened to your car.

- No. - I know you do.

You've been acting odd for weeks.

All this stuff with Ellis... That's not you.

- I just want to help you. - I don't know.

MUSIC CONTINUES ON RADIO

Look, if I tell you, I don't want anyone else knowing.

All right.

I've been getting these letters.

Letters?

They're telling me not to take part in the Miss Yorkshire finals.

It's all like the stuff Laura reads, you know,

about women's rights and that.

- And are they threatening you? - It's hot air. They don't mean it.

You've got to go to the police!

- I can't. - Why not?

Everyone's trying to stop me...

Mum, Ellis, even Laura, especially her.

If they find out about the letters, they'll never let me do it.

Maybe they're right.

If someone's bothered enough to set fire to your car.

You know what Mum's like. She'll flip.

No, I can't go to the police.

Well, then er... Then let me show them to Rob.

I'll explain for you.

SIGHS

DOOR OPENS

It doesn't seem right.

-What? - That £ going uncollected.

It doesn't seem right us being in here either.

Oh, give over!

Old Dan'd be rolling in his grave

if he thinks that bookie's hanging onto his winnings.

He's not in his grave yet, is he?

PEGGY GROANS

Shut up and look for that slip!

MAN CLEARS THROAT

My name's Perkins of Perkins and Strange.

- Executor to the late Mr Fowles. - Oh, yes. We've met before.

Mrs Armstrong.

Neighbour and close friend of the late Mr Fowles.

I'm David.

May I ask you what you're doing here?

Well, I used to give old Dan his meals,

and I've come to collect my crockery.

Well, if I find any, then I will expedite its return.

Now, if you would please vacate the property.

We were his friends! We looked after him.

I don't wish to call the police.

Come on, David.

We know when we're not wanted.

Not always.

Diana's been getting these for the last six weeks.

- Some of them are really horrible. - ROB:What threatening her?

Yeah. If she keeps going on being a beauty queen.

Any chance Ellis could have sent these?

He can hardly write his name.

He might have lost his temper and set fire to the car, but not this.

He's got an alibi for the car. His dad said he was back at work.

Charming(!)

- Well, can you do anything? - I hope so.

It was pretty stupid of her not to show me these.

She's dead worried her mum will find out and it'll upset her.

- And she's scared too. - Well, I can see why.

I'm going to pass these over to CID.

I feel whoever's written these, means what they say.

UPBEAT MUSIC

You're supposed to be looking after yourself.

Don't fret, Oscar!

Hi, Geoff. What's up?

These kegs are blocking the road.

Yeah, that's the idea, so the brewery van can unload.

You realise that blocking the free passage of the highway

is an offence under Section of the Highway Act?

Don't you start lecturing me about the law, sonny.

I won't, but I'll have to report this.

Don't be ridiculous.

SIGHS

Leave it to me. I'll talk to Phil. He'll have a word with him.

Shouldn't I be having a word with you about our Bellamy?

There's nothing to say.

You've been down this road before, Gina.

Yes, I know,

and it's not the sort of mistake I want to make twice, right?

DOOR OPENS

What's all this about you and Gina?

All what?

Snogging outside the pub.

We were not snogging!

Anyway, we're not interested in any of that.

- Oh, yeah? - Yes!

Come on, face it, Rob, we've learnt our lesson,

and some things are not meant to be.

Just the man I want to see.

DS Dawson from division is taking over the beauty queen case.

Oh, yeah. I spoke to her about it.

I think Diana Hill's being picked on by some women's libbers.

I thought they b*rned bras... not cars.

But there is a group who want to stop the beauty contest.

- One of them's been here. - Does DS Dawson know?

Why don't you tell her? I'll give you the details.

Don't mention it.

MUSIC: 'I'm The Urban Spaceman' by The Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band

♪ I wake up every morning

♪ With a smile upon my face... ♪

Right.

KNOCKS AT DOOR

Open up.

Come on, it's the police!

You think this woman knows something about the letters?

She's head of the committee that's organising the protests.

Why is she targeting Diana and none of the other contestants?

That's the point. She teaches Diana's sister.

And they were both near the hall when the fire was started.

She'll probably say you were too.

Look, I know she's got a point of view,

and you'll probably agree.

Why do you say that?

There's an argument against beauty contests.

Well, there's an argument against posh women

telling girls like Diana how to lead their lives.

It gets right up my nose.

- Have we got any actual evidence? - Not as such.

Then we're not likely to get much out of Miss Wainwright!

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

You wanted to talk to me?

- Cath Wainwright? - Yes.

I'm DS Dawson. Come this way.

Thank you.

CHAIR SCRAPES

DRAWER OPENS

There must be some way we can get hold of that betting slip.

Think!

BELL DINGS

BACKGROUND CHATTER

You know Dan always used to wear that old jacket.

What, you think it might be in that?

It's just that when he told us about the slip, he sort of patted...

GASPS

You're right!

I'm going to buy you a pint for that.

Oh, right!

As soon as we collect on them winnings.

PAGES RUSTLING

SGT MILLER: Younger!

Have you taken leave of your senses?

That woman in there is years old if she's a day!

She was breaking the Town Clauses Act

by affixing a plant pot to an upper window ledge.

You can't arrest her for that!

Well, she refused to give her name and said, and I quote...

"Kiss my bottom."

Her name is Lisby Botham, and she's as deaf as a post!

Now get her out of here.

Er, Sergeant?

Could you cast your eye over these when you get a moment, please?

I think the magistrates could have a busy week.

ORGAN PLAYING SOMBRE MUSIC

Er, is that Mr Fowles in there then?

Aye, that's right.

Nothing fancy. Just made sure he got a decent casket.

I was just going to ask you about that old jacket he always wore.

He still is. Wearing it, that is.

I mean, it seemed right. It was almost part of him.

Yeah. He'll take it with him to his grave.

Well, crematorium, at least.

Tomorrow afternoon, isn't it, the funeral?

That's right. Are you planning on going?

SIGHS HEAVILY

Oh, come on. Don't take it so hard.

He's had a good innings.

Oh, er, aye.

No, no. It's this way, Mrs Botham.

CHURCH BELLS RINGING

SGT MILLER: Younger!

Do you expect me to sanction summonses for

b*ating a carpet before .am, gambling in a public library,

riding a horse on a public footpath and flying a flaming kite?!

It's the law, sarge.

No, it's not. It's a waste of time!

Now, you get out there and you do some real policing.

And if you haven't made a proper arrest by tomorrow evening,

I've a good mind to authorise all of these

and make you the most unpopular copper in Yorkshire!

Sarge, there's been another att*ck on the beauty queen lass.

- In her home this time. - Does Walker know?

ALF: He's on his way.

ROB: What happened?

I came to check on Stella and found her lying on the floor.

- She says someone hit her. - How is she?

SIGHS In shock.

And she's got a nasty cut.

- Have you phoned an ambulance? - She won't go to hospital.

She's spent most of the last six months there with Parkinson's.

Stella, PC Walker's here.

He'd just like to ask you a few questions.

- Can you tell me what happened? - Er, I don't know.

I-I dozed off, and I thought I heard someone.

And this person hit you?

More like pushed me down.

I half turned round

and the next thing I knew I was lying on the floor.

- Was it a man or a woman? - Oh, um, I couldn't say.

M-maybe a woman. Erm...

T-there was just something...

Oh, I don't know.

- I'm sorry, I'm no use at all. - You should get some rest, Stella.

It's Diana I'm worried about.

Talk to her... please.

I can't understand what's going on.

- Why are they picking on me? - That's the question, isn't it?

Someone doesn't want you to take part in that contest.

Chances are you're in real danger. Your family too.

Well, I'm not giving up. I'd rather die.

You don't mean that.

You don't know me. I'm not clever like our Laura.

But I can do this. It's my one thing.

Think about it.

You're like everyone. You think I'm being stupid.

No. No.

But you are taking a risk.

Please.

I'll do what I can to get you there tomorrow.

Thank you.

Now I'll have to get lend of a dress.

DAVID: I think I've got most of the trifle out of the sleeve.

RADIO PLAYING SOFT MUSIC

- What do you reckon? Will it do? - It'll have to.

What time's t'funeral?

It's after lunch.

I don't think I can bring myself to go.

I mean, seeing quid go up in smoke.

Worse things happen at sea.

What did you say?

I said a lot of bad things happen at sea.

You know, like storms and icebergs. Jellyfish.

Now, why didn't I think of that before?

It's quite obvious, really.

Now...

Where did I put that number for the Army and Navy surplus store?

Oh, thanks. Cheers.

Come on, girls.

Take a leaflet. Join the group.

WOMAN CHANTING

Thank you.

Out! Out! Out!

WOMEN CHANTING: Out! Out! Out!

ALL CHANT: Cattle parading, totally degrading!

Well, I'll say one thing for them.

They're a lot better-looking than football hooligans.

What do you reckon my chances are?

Do women's libbers date coppers?

No! My chances of making an arrest.

Well, there's some big lasses.

Mm. They all look a bit too well-behaved to me.

No old dears with illegal flowerpots, you mean.

WOMEN CHANT: Out, out, out, out!

CHANTING CONTINUES

Good luck.

- You're gonna look gorgeous. - Thanks.

When you've got that posh flat in Chelsea, I want an invite!

- OK. Mwa! - Knock 'em dead.

CHANTING CONTINUES

MELLOW JAZZ PLAYING

ALL: Women's rights! When do we want them? Now!

What do we want? Women's rights. When do we want them? Now!

What do we want? Women's rights. When do we want them? Now!

MUSIC CONTINUES

ALL: Beauty queens, what are they for?

WOMAN: Five, six, seven, eight.

ALL: Shoulders back, and stand up straight!

MELLOW JAZZ CONTINUES

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

WHISTLING

WOMEN CHANTING: Out! Out! Out! Out!

Out! Out! Out! Out!

MUSIC CONTINUES

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC ENDS

All seems fairly quiet.

Been as good as gold so far, sarge.

Is nobody watching the fire doors round the back?

I'll go.

CHANTING CONTINUES

And he said that when he finally went to meet his Maker,

he wanted to go all shipshape and Bristol fashion.

I didn't know Dan was in the Navy.

Oh, he was always talking about it! Wasn't he, David?

- Was he? - Well, he was to me.

And he said that when he went,

he wanted to go in his Navy jacket.

So... can you do a swap?

Why couldn't you come in earlier?

I've just screwed the lid down!

All right.

I'll do it later, if I've got time.

ATTEMPTS TO SPEAK

SIGHS

DOOR CLOSES

PLAYFUL SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

CHANTING CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

DOOR CLOSES

CHANTING CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND

Will you please welcome our eight finalists?

In alphabetical order... Miss Ashfordly.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Miss Beverley!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Miss Elsinby!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Miss Malton!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Miss Whitby.

PIG SQUEALING

CONTESTANTS SHRIEKING

PIG SQUEALING

I'm sorry for the interruption, ladies and gentlemen.

Ladies and gentlemen...

ALL CHANT: Out, out, out!

Come on, girls!

FIRE BELL RINGING

Bellamy.

ALL CHANT: Out, out, out! Out, out, out, out!

Out, out, out, out!

FIRE BELL RINGING

CHANTING IN BACKGROUND

CONTESTANTS SHRIEKING

PIG SQUEALING

SCREAMS

PIG SQUEALING

CONTESTANTS SHRIEKING

ALL CHANT: Out, out, out, out!

CHANTING CONTINUES

MELLOW JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING

Stop her!

CHANTING CONTINUES

MUSIC ENDS

FIRE BELL RINGING

Good as gold, eh, Phil?

CHANTING CONTINUES IN DISTANCE

Oh! Er, Mr Scripps, did you get a chance to...?

Is this you asking or old Mother Armstrong?

It's her more than me, I suppose.

I hope this isn't one of her schemes.

Well... Well, in a way, I suppose.

But it is what Mr Fowles would have wanted.

Well, I hope so.

He's wearing the Navy jacket.

What did you do with the old one then?

That old thing? I chucked it.

Chuck...

Oh, Rob! Have you seen Diana?

I've been a bit busy out here.

She'll be disqualified if she doesn't get back in quick.

- Sure she's not inside? - I've looked all over for her.

There's something else.

Have you seen these leaflets those women were handing out?

Where have you read that before?

CAR ENGINE REVVING

We've got three more women in the van.

- How many cells have we got left? - They're all full.

Who's in here?

I gave it my sandwiches.

Not ham, I trust.

- Get it out of there. - Yes, sarge.

You did arrest somebody with two legs as opposed to four?

She's not at the assembly rooms, hasn't gone home.

- You haven't heard anything? - Nothing's been reported.

- Hm. - What's up?

Diana Hill's disappeared.

You'd better put out a description.

DS Dawson wants a word. She's in the interview room.

You want to get that seen to.

What? I'd never live it down!

Put in hospital by a bunch of girls?

There comes a time in every copper's career

when he stops wanting to be a hero and decides

there's a lot to be said for spending the afternoon in casualty

drinking tea with nurses.

Shall I tell Miller?

CHUCKLES SOFTLY

Well, it's not in here.

Well, it can't just have vanished!

All right. You look then!

MUTTERS IN DISGUST

BIN LID CLANGS

- ROB: We need to find Diana Hill. - Why are you asking me?

You know something. You have all along.

No! I told you.

We let loose the male chauvinist piglet and shut off the power.

But we don't use v*olence.

That's what men do.

RACHEL: OK, we can do without the civics lesson.

Do you recognise this letter?

It was sent to Diana.

Look how it starts.

"Parading women like cattle in so-called beauty contests

is demeaning and degrading."

RACHEL: Sound familiar?

It's taken word for word from the leaflet you were handing out.

Apart from the threats, the whole letter is.

I don't understand.

That letter was sent to Diana six weeks ago.

Who'd seen the pamphlet then?

I'm not sure. I'd only just written it.

What about Laura?

RACHEL: All we're concerned about for now is Diana's safety.

I gave Laura a draft.

Do you think she could be behind all this?

She takes thing personally, any sort of injustice.

But she wouldn't hurt her sister.

But she might do something to stop her taking part today.

I suppose so. Yes.

Come on, Aunt Peg, we've looked everywhere!

Tweed jackets don't just vanish into thin air!

Well, this one has.

We'll be late for the funeral if we don't hurry up!

There's not much chance of enjoying that now!

Deefer, come on!

PLAYFUL MUSIC

Aunt Peggy!

OK, thanks, Alf. Out.

Any sign of her yet?

No. And Laura's disappeared, too.

I saw her at the demo with Ellis.

- Hey, Rob, can I have a word? - Oh, can it wait?

It's about this lass who's gone missing.

Right.

- I'll let you know. - All right. Thanks, Rob.

Rob, I was told this in the strictest confidence,

but I think it's something you should know.

Have you heard of Joe Lorenzo?

No.

CAR DOOR SLAMS

Joe Lorenzo was hanged in London nearly years ago

for k*lling a police inspector.

What's this got to do with Diana?

Lorenzo was her father.

His wife changed her name, moved up here,

but one of my mates from the Met tipped me the wink.

So you think this has some bearing on what's going on now?

Sometimes, some things come back to haunt you.

Rob! I've just seen Ellis's van drive past.

He must know where Laura is.

Right. Thanks, Oscar.

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

BIKE ENGINE REVVING

BIKE ENGINE THRUMMING

Out!

Where is she?

-I don't know. - Don't mess me around!

If you've abducted Diana, you're in serious trouble.

I can't tell you!

There are people after her. Laura said.

How does she know that?

She was in their group and found out what they'd got planned.

-We had to save Diana. - What, and you believe that?

Laura told me she saw you near the hall

when Diana's car was set on fire.

- No, that's a lie. - Sounds like she tells lots.

Now, where is she? SIGHS

Up at Red House Farm. I just dropped them off there.

- Just up the road. - Show me.

ELLIS SIGHS

Look, I er...

I care about Diana.

- I was just trying to help. - We'll see about that.

He's ready now.

Oh, right, thank you.

I heard you got jumped on by hundreds of screaming women!

Yeah. Story of my life.

But I like to keep it quiet.

Well, don't worry, your secret's safe with me.

My turn to give you a lift home.

If you're not doing anything, I've been given the afternoon off.

Oh, I can't, Phil. I promised Oscar I'd get back.

- Another time, eh? - How about tonight?

You mean a date?

SIGHS

I suppose I do.

We can't keep meeting like this, can we?

Let me have a think about it, eh?

PENSIVE MUSIC

ENGINE OFF

DOOR CLOSES

Where's Diana?

She's upstairs getting changed.

FOOTSTEPS ON STAIRS

- ROB: Are you OK? - Yeah.

Who's gonna tell me what's going on here?

- They brought me here! - It was for your own good.

She said those women were after me!

They were gonna throw acid in my face!

- What women? - DIANA: There aren't any.

It's been her all along. She's jealous! She hates me!

- You were throwing your life away. - It's my life.

Did you write the letters?

Well done(!)

You took your time to work that one out.

I think you've got some explaining to do.

SOMBRE MUSIC

ENGINE REVVING

Sarge, did you leave your keys in your car?

I very much doubt it.

Cos it's been nicked.

Shall I put out an alert?

I saw Garry Sherwood hanging about outside earlier. Could've been him.

- Do you know where he lives? - Yes, sarge.

We'll go in Bellamy's car.

UP-TEMPO ROCK MUSIC

ENGINE REVVING

The yard's round the back, sergeant.

MUSIC CONTINUES

Cops!

Stop right there!

Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

Right. Go on then.

What?

Oh!

I-I'm arresting you for the theft of a motor vehicle.

You do not have to say anything unless you wish to do so,

but what you say will be taken down in writing

and may be given in evidence.

Thank you, sergeant.

Why did you do it, Laura?

My mum's ill. She needs someone living with her.

Which means me or Diana.

And I'm going to university in October.

- So you had to stop her winning. - It was her or me.

You started by sending the letters.

I just typed them at home and then I posted them on the way to school.

- And the car? - It was easy.

I just poured petrol in, and set fire to it.

Did Cath Wainwright help you?

-No. - You left the hall together.

- There was hardly any time. - There was enough.

- Where'd you get the petrol from? - The garage.

So David'll remember selling it to you.

- He's not very bright. - No, you're not very bright.

You should've got your story straight.

- This is a pack of lies. - No! I did it.

That's all I'm saying. It was me.

Rob, can I have a word?

What's the idea?

I can believe she sent those letters,

although I think she'd have been more clever about it.

But the car fire and attacking her own mother?

She's ambitious. Driven.

But is she that desperate?

She started trying to convince us that it was Ellis.

Then she decided to take the blame herself.

And all along she's been covering for someone.

And thinking about it,

there's only one person who had everything to lose.

FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING

Mrs Hill, we've arrested Laura. She's made a full confession.

- It wasn't her. - Mum, don't. You don't have to...

It doesn't matter now. I've written you a letter about why.

Was it all you?

I sent the letters to Diana.

SIGHS HEAVILY

The typewriter's upstairs.

And setting fire to the car.

I'm sorry, love,

but I had to do something, you see.

I used the petrol can from the boot...

and poured it inside.

-I knew Diana never locked it. - Mum, what are you talking about?

MRS HILL: I'm just trying to explain.

I don't want there to be anyone else blamed after...

What happened to me yesterday...

And the paint upstairs...

There wasn't any att*ck.

It was all me. DIANA GASPS

But why? How could you do that?

LAURA: It's all about our dad.

MRS HILL: You know.

Of course you do.

No flies on our Laura and her beady little eyes.

When did you find out?

Remember that school trip to France you wouldn't let me go on?

Miss Wainwright said she'd pay, but I needed a passport.

I found that box where you kept our birth certificates.

MRS HILL: So you know our name isn't Hill.

It's Lorenzo.

I could change everything, but not your birth certificates.

You're Diana and Laura Lorenzo.

What's wrong with that?

Dad's a m*rder*r.

He didn't die. He was hanged.

- Mum? - I'm sorry.

You didn't need to know. Not ever.

But if you'd won that contest,

you'd have been in the papers, wouldn't you?

And it would have come out.

It would have hurt you.

I had to stop it.

Don't you see?

BREATHING RAGGEDLY

Mum?

BREATHING RAGGEDLY Mum?

Mrs Hill? Mrs Hill?

MOANS

PILLS RATTLING Has she taken these?

It was a new bottle!

I'll get an ambulance.

Oh, Mum!

I'll look after you!

I'll be here.

That's all she wanted you to say.

Why did she do it?

ROB: She was the one who had the most to lose.

No, I mean take the pills.

If she gets through this I'll be at college for three years.

And then it's my turn. I promise.

This was my time now.

I'm sorry.

The ambulance is on its way.

- Hiya. - Hiya.

CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY

I thought you weren't coming.

So did I. I wasn't sure.

Well, I'm glad you did.

SIGHS HEAVILY

Oh, er...

I got you something.

Phil! Where did you find this?

Saw it in the shop window. It's the same as your other one?

Yeah! It's exactly the same.

It's the right size.

The lady in the shop thought it might be on the small side for me!

I think she thought I was a bit...

WHISTLES, LAUGHS

You know.

ROMANTIC MUSIC

GINA SIGHS

What's up?

Nothing.

It's just...

No-one makes me laugh like you do.

No-one else would have done this for me.

No-one in the world.

Well...when you love someone...

ROMANTIC MUSIC CONTINUES

MAN SPEAKING OVER PA SYSTEM

There we are. No large notes, thank you.

- I can't pay out on this. - It's there in black and white.

Westport Lad, the Lincoln. He won.

This year he did. Last year he didn't finish.

No, no. I didn't come here for a history lesson.

And I don't pay out on last year's race.

Look at the date.

I...

- Where's Gina? - Don't ask.

I wanted to tell her she won't be getting a summons.

Oh! Well, in that case, I might not have to bar you.

Can I get you a drink?

I think Bernie deserves a drink.

In fact, why don't you buy everyone in the pub a drink?

Oh, thanks, Geoff.

Cheer up. PC Younger's buying us a drink.

No, I'm not in the mood.

Oh, that's all I need(!)

- Mr Stockwell. - Yeah.

Perkins. Perkins and Strange.

The last Mr Fowles has made you a small bequest.

Oh?

There you go.

TISSUE PAPER RUSTLING

Ohh!

Tin soldiers?!

I understand that Mr Fowles retained an interest in the army

from his time in the Yorkshire Hussars.

Well, good evening.

I thought you said Dan was in the Navy!

- I think I owe you a drink. - No, no, I'll get these.

That's a very male chauvinist attitude.

I'm buying.

Hiya. Do you mind if I join you?

Oh, please. Take my seat.

Oh, no, I'm fine standing, thanks.

Welcome to the th century, Rob.

THEME MUSIC PLAYING OUT