04x14 - Destiny's Child

[bunniefuu]

Ok, leon, show 'em what you got.

Come on.

All right!whoo!yeah!

Good sh*t!

Right on, leon.

Ok, that's not bad, not bad.

But watch this.

Whoo! Yeah!

You know, whatever. Whatever....lucky.

All right, go, christy. Go on.

Come on, christy.

All right, here it goes.

Eye of the tiger. Eye of the tiger.

You got it.

Oh!

You know, it was the wind. It was the wind.

Ok, let's all take one more sh*t.

Ok, here we go, guys.

All: , , .

Whoo!all right!yeah!yes!

Excellent dart throwing.

Now let's go entertain people

Who have television sets.

Ok.

Ow.

Captioning made possible by nickelodeon and u.s. Department of education

Fresh out the box.

Stop, look, and watch.

Ready yet? Get set.

It's all that.

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it, check it

♪ Now, this is just an introduction ♪

♪ Before we blow your mind ♪

♪ The show is all of that ♪

♪ And yes, we do it all the time ♪

♪ So sit your booty on the floor ♪

♪ Or in a chair

♪ On the ground or in the air ♪

♪ Just don't go nowhere

♪ 'Cause everything we do

♪ Is all of that

♪ When entertaining you

♪ We're all of that

♪ My posse and my crew

♪ Is all of that

♪ So sit still

♪ 'Cause we're comin' right back ♪

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ Check it out

♪ Oh

♪ Uh-oh

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪♪

Good afternoon, miss piddlin.

Why, hello there, my sweet little angel.

What are you serving for lunch today?

Well, I am glad you asked,

Because you're going to get some meat loaf, some mashed potatoes,

Some gravy, and some peas.

I'm sorry, miss piddlin,

But I cannot eat this unhealthy slop.

Pardonez moi?

You said that you want some more peas?

That's fine, baby. You can have some more peas.

Is there something wrong with your hearing?

I said I cannot eat this unhealthy slop.

Uh-oh. Miss piddlin must be losing her hearing,

Because it sounded like you said

That miss piddlin's peas was slop.

I did.

Oh, yeah? Well, then, slop this!

Aah!

I'm telling my mommy!

You heathen!

Ooh...ooh, careful, miss piddlin.

Don't lose your pea cool.

Julio?

Hello, miss piddlin.

Hey, julio, did you bring me some more peas

To give to all the children?

You know, children love peas.

Heh heh! I know that.

Kids love peas. That's for sure, miss piddlin.

Ha ha ha! There's no need to strike me.

Julio, I do not recall asking you to bring me carrot.

I don't see no peas in that dish.

No, you didn't, miss piddlin.

I did.

And just who are you?

Well, my name is miss tootle,

And I'm here to help you out.

Heh heh heh!

Ain't that nice?

Miss tootle came to help you--aah!

So, I see you had my julio

Bring in your carrots.

Uh-huh! 'Cause you know,

Children love them some carrots,

More than anything.

Oh, is that so?

That is so.

Lookit here, I don't have to take that--

Hi, miss piddlin.

Well, hey now, my sweet little petunia.

What can miss piddlin fill your hungry belly with today?

Whatever you got.

That's what miss piddlin loves to hear.

You going to get some meat loaf,

Some mashed potatoes, some gravy,

And some peas!some carrots!

I said peas!

And I said carrots!

Peas, peas!

And I said carrots!

Thank you! Thank you!

Thank you.

Whoo! Miss piddlin's blood pressure almost rose.

Whoo! Careful, miss piddlin.

Hi, miss piddlin.

What's up, miss piddlin?

Well, hello now, my little kumquats!

Hoo, what can miss piddlin feed y'all today?

How about a nice heaping helping of carrots?

Put an end to them.

The child wants peas.

Well, I know what she wants,

And she wants carrots.

If you don't get your nasty, orangy carrots

Away from my pretty peas...ooh.

Ooh, you better back off.

Woman, don't you thr*aten me in my own kitchen.

I will not live in a world

Where peas and carrots cohabitate on children's plates.

Wait. Can't I have both peas and carrots?

Can't we all just get along?

Peas and carrots go really well together. Taste.

Here, try it.

Yeah, I guess that ain't so bad, now.

Mm-hmm, that's all right.

Now, how about we all sing a song

About peas and carrots?

All right, baby.

All right.

♪ Peas and carrots, peas and carrots ♪

♪ Go together like a sleazy parrot ♪

♪ Have some peas and carrots ♪

♪ And you will grow up like a-- ♪

Boogie down! Yeah!

Say something else about some carrots, huh?

I double dare you! I triple dog--

Whoo! Miss piddlin almost lost her temper

On the back of miss tootle's head.

Whoo! Well, children,

Now that tootle is no more,

Let's just sing a song about peas.

Oh, yeah, come on, children.

Hoo!

♪ Peas are the champions again ♪

♪ And peas make me happy like a friend ♪

♪ Da da da

Sing it!

♪ Peas are the champions

♪ Peas are the champions

♪ No time for carrots

♪ 'Cause peas are the champions of the world ♪

♪ Peas are the champions again... ♪

Announcer: and now, lori beth denberg

With more "vital information" for your everyday life.

If your first name is brucifer

And your middle name is yapdiddy

And your last name is mcgoogoo,

Then congratulations!

Your full name is brucifer yapdiddy mcgoogoo!

Ice cream tastes good.

Armpits taste bad.

Crime doesn't pay...

Unless you buy my new book,

How to make crime pay, by lori beth denberg.

Announcer: this has been lori beth denberg

With "vital information."

♪ This is all that ♪

♪ This is all that ♪

[Garbled] attention, attention!

This meeting of the dullmont junior high school faculty

Will now come to order.

Well, let me holler at you.

Why'd you have to call a nighttime meeting?

All coach kreeton wanted to do

Was stay home and watch baywatch.

I wanted to watch baywatch.

You got me missing baywatch!

Ow! Ow!

My knuckle bone! My knuckle bone! Ow!

I hate everybody! I hate everybody!

Miss fingerly.

Principal pimpell, may I go to the little girls' room?

I'm filled with liquid.

No.

Come on! Let her go before she cut loose

And drown everybody.

Come on! Come on, she gonna drown us all!

Whoopsy, boopsy,

You dropped your little gavel hammer.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Thank you, mrs. Spork.

Call me tandy.

Just sit down.

Now, as principal,

I, principal william banes pimpell,

Will be checking into our local medical hospital

To hopefully have this bulbous, grotesque pimple removed from my forehead.

Ooh!

Oh, yeah. Celebrate! Celebrate!

It's about time you popped that pimple.

Every time I looked at it it made me think of the moon.

Ha ha! Oh, I'm so happy!

The only thing worse than that old, crazy-looking pimple

Is my sad, miserable life.

Fingerly: oh, wait, principal pimpell.

If you're going to be gone for two weeks,

Who will take charge of dullmont?

That's what this meeting will determine.

One of you will temporarily take my place

As principal of dullmont.

Heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh, heh!

Good!

Principal pimpell, which one of us will be left in charge?

Ha ha ha ha!

I will tell you.

Now, I will choose my replacement

By listening to each one of you tell me

Why you think you ought to be left in charge.

Now, we will start by listening from our esteemed music teacher,

Mr. Treble.

Mr. Treble?

Ahem...thank you.

Now, as you know, I've been the music teacher here at dullmont

For the last years,

And I feel I could contribute--

Stop the pain!

I've...i would be honored to be principal

Because I have some really exciting ideas

That I believe could help-- no! Get away from me!

I've always wanted to be in charge of others

So I could help them...

And wash them,

And--no, captain!

Take my underpants! I don't deserve underpants!

I belong in a zoo-- a mexican zoo.

So pick me! Ha ha ha ha!

Psycho.

Ok, who would like to be next?

[Burps]

Janitor gaseous.

As the janitor of this dog-forsaken school,

I wouldn't be the principal if you paid me!

You all think you're so smart.

Well, you ain't!

You guys don't know squat about squat.

For all I care, you can squat in your own barf and rot.

Squat and rot!

[Burps]

I like him! I like him! I vote for gaseous.

Gaseous, gaseous, kreeton votes for gaseous.

Now, now, now, now, coach kreeton,

Clearly janitor gaseous is a fine, fine candidate,

But we must hear from everyone.

My turn!

Very well, miss fingerly.

I think I should be principal,

And I'll tell you why...

With a song.

♪ I should be the temporary principal ♪

♪ It would be really, really sensible ♪

♪ Fingerly is really quite invincible ♪

♪ So mark your vote with your pen or pencible ♪

Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah! Aah!

Can't take it no more!

Can't take it no more!

I guess my song was a smash.

Uh...thank you for that fine tune, miss fingerly.

Now, as much as I would like to hear from my home ec teacher,

Tandy spork...

Hello! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

And our cantankerous gym coach, coach kreeton...

Cisco p. Kreeton!

I feel it would be much more entertaining

To watch the two of you engage in hand-to-hand combat.

I'm talking about no rules, just y'all sweating it out,

And whoever's left standing gets to be the temporary principal.

Get on up. I'm the principal.

All right.

All right.

All right.

Begin.

Ha!

Let me stretch.

All right, come on! Come on!

Come on, spork. What you going to do,

You heavily medicated woman?

Come on! Let's do something.

Watch! Watch!

Come here! Come here!

Oh, yeah! Yeah!

I got you by the scruff of your little neck.

What you going to do? Yeah.

Coach kreeton, you know that tandy knows the jujitsu.

Jujitsu?

Hi-i-ya!

Hey, I can see my car.

Hey! Hey!

Aah!

[Thud]

Ha ha ha! Oh, goody!

I've defeated the kreeton.

Yeah, you did. I guess you're the principal.

I'm the principal! I'm the principal!

Tandy's the principal!

Now let's peel vegetables!

Tandy's the principal! Tandy's the principal!

Whoo! Go, tandy! Go, tandy!

It's your birthday! Go!

Whoa!

Well, janitor gaseous,

I guess you're the new principal.

Squat and rot!

All right.

[Burps]

♪

♪ This is all that ♪

[Chisel hitting stone]

Excuse me, can you please keep it down a bit?

[Blows whistle loudly]

[Shouting] quiet! This is a library!

But you're the one making all the noise--

I said, quiet!

Boy, some people never learn!

This is a library,

And libraries are supposed to be quiet!

It's time to shave!

[Motor running loudly]

Stubble be gone.

I'll teach you pesky hairs who's boss.

Excuse me. Could you, like, please stop shaving?

I'm trying to study.

Quiet! People are trying to study!

Duh, that's what I just--

[Squealing]

I said shush!

Can't you hear my words?

You are not a very good librarian.

[Loud beeping]

Someone's paging me! I'm being paged!

See my pager?

[Dialing]

Woman: hello. Miss fingerly here.

Hey, miss fingerly, it's miss hushbaum!

What do you want to discuss?

Well, I'm having people over for tea this evening.

You want to have me over for tea?

Yes, but not "t" the letter, tea the drink.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh, my. Ha ha!

Letter? Drink? Tea?

Ha ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

Ow!

Quiet!

Ha ha ha ha ha!

That miss fingerly is funny, so funny!

Hey, she's not that funny.

Hey!

Who asked you to talk in the library?

Out, you noisemaking juvenile!

You're the one that was making all the--

Out!

Everyone, quiet!

You squeak, I freak!

Time to test my strength on this carnival device!

Ooh...ah!

[Ding]

I did it! I've hit the bell!

I'm the mightiest librarian in the land!

You're mighty loud.

Hey! Hey!

But i--

Hey!

Kelly lynn and I were trying to study--

Hey, hey!

Noisemaker!

Fingerly: hello? Hello?

Quiet!

It's miss fingerly. Ha ha ha ha!

Who's laughing now, fingerly?

What are you looking at?

[Crash]

I'm going to fire up this leaf blower!

[Engine running loudly]

Move leaves. Feel my wind,

My mighty wind.

Girl: go, girl!

Quiet!

E up.

The show's over.

Oh, yeah. Kick it!