01x01 - New Squid on the Block/Down The Drain

[bunniefuu]

[Rock intro playing]

♪ We are riders on a mission

♪ Action kids in play position

♪ Rocket power...

[Static]

[Scratching]

[Music continues]

♪ We are riders on a mission

♪ Action kids in fun condition

♪ Prepare to countdown

♪ Rocket power!

[Seagulls calling]

Both: whoa, whoa!

[Yelling]

[Grunting]

Hello,i'm sh**ting frame grabs for the zine, remember?

I've got enough sh*ts of you wiping out, otto.

Now, getserious.

My wipeoutsare serious, reggie.

Hey... I can wipe out, too, seriously.

Spoken like a true squid, twister.

I'm sick of being the squid.

It's a tough job

But somebody has to be the squid.

And somebody has to do a decent varial.

Allow me to demonstrate.

Nice one, reg!

Okay, practice over.

We should be looking for a goalie, not posing

For your stupid zine.

"Stupid zine"?

Chill, dude. She's going to blow.

You've been talking

About it for six months and still no zine.

I haven't justbeen talking, bro.

I'm just having a little computer trouble.

Hey, guys, check this out.

Hey, guys... New kid.

Looks kind of short.

And kind of round.

And kind of pale.

Otto: hey, reggie, look, a computer.

Looks like you've got someone to talk nerd with.

[Loudly]: sam... Honey... Don't forget your inhaler.

I wonder if he plays street hockey.

Looks more like a puck than a player.

[Sighs]

Oh, don't look so glum, honey.

Get out and make some new friends.

Tell them about your good grades.

But I was going to spend the next years

In front of the tv.

[Doorbell rings]

Woman: yoo-hoo!

It's your ocean shores one-woman welcome wagon.

Saw your plates.

You're from kansas, the wheat state.

Why, yes.

Yes, we are.

Oh, hello.

I'm violet stimpleton.

So nice to meet you.

Oh, still unpacking, I see.

Well, why not take a break and come on over

For some of my famous homemade ribbon candy?

I use real ribbons.

Oh... That's very nice, but I need to find a phone

And some dishes, mrs. Stimpleton.

Oh, please--violet.

Oh, and who do we have here?

This is my son sam.

Well, hello, sam.

Hello.

Listen, I have an idea.

You unpack. I'll take sam for a while and introduce him

Around the neighborhood.

But, i...

Come on. "Sam," is it?

Well, I just know you're going

To love meeting my merv.

We're crossing the street.

Let's hold hands for safety.

Buddy up.

Is the new kid

Helping mrs. Stimpleton across the street?

I think it's the other way around.

Attention, attention, we have confirmation--

New kid's a nerd.

My merv is a retired electrical engineer.

Do you like model trains?

Sure, i-i like trains.

I don't care

How much youlikethem. Never eventhink

About touching anything

Remotely resembling a model train--

Not in my house.

Violet: oh, merv

They're just toys.

[Exasperated grunting]

What's that?

No pointing!

It's a one-tenth scale model

Of the stimpleton homestead, perfectly accurate

Down to the simulated wood grain in the rumpus room.

Oh, it is my masterpiece.

Oh, merv, it's just a mailbox.

Shh! Don't give it away.

Now, watch this.

[Laughs]

[Electronic whirring and clicking]

[Electricity shorting]

[Groaning]

Darned interference!

Must be sunspot activity.

[Angry grunting]

Sam: looks more like the motor.

Maybe if you used a -megahertz r.f. Modulator

You wouldn't get interference.

What?

" Megahertz"?

Ha!

Could be!

Oh, I can rip out the two

Precious solenoids and piggyback the...

You do that, merv.

Come on, sam, let's go meet the rockets.

These trucks are too loose.

Need to tighten them for high speeds.

I can't believe how much work a skateboard needs.

Putting stickers on doesn't qualify as work, squid.

Don't call me squid.

What?

Otto

Twister, reggie

I want you to meet our new neighbor, sam.

Now, why don't you put on your friendly hats

And say hello?

[Clock ticking]

[Timer buzzes]

Well... I can see you kids are really hitting it off.

I'll just leave y'all alone.

Nice pants.

Expecting snow?

I haven't unpacked my shorts yet.

Where are you from?kansas.

How's the surf?

No ocean.

Snowboarding?

Too flat.

Street hockey?

Roller hockey?

They play that.

Cool!

Now we have a quad team!

Great!

What's a quad team?

[Clock ticks/timer buzzes]

I saw them moving in your computer stuff.

I have a laptop myself.

What kind?

Nothing special, just a .

It's okay.

I publish my zine on it.

Yeah, right.

You're trying to publish on a ?

Why not just use a rock and chisel?

Well, do you have anyrealsuggestions?

I'll bring my laptop over.

We'll see if we can make it work.

Really? Cool.

Sam: I'm importing your article.

Merv: ow!

And I want to write a little bio on you

To put in the first issue.

Nine.how old are you?

Same as otto and twister.

Fifth grade?

Sixthgrade.

It was my mom's idea.

Even cooler.

We'll be in class together.

Twister: come on!

We got to practice.

Let's go to the parking lot and get a game going.

Okay, reggie

I have everything.

I'll finish this by tonight.

What are you talking about, sam?

You're coming with us.

Wake up, kansas.

It's game time.

But-but I don't have any protective padding.

Don't sweat it.

We got enough junk to suit up ten guys.

Sam: but, but...

I thought they played street hockey in kansas.

Yes, they do, but...

Get your gear, get on your bike

And meet us at the pier.

Youdohave a bike?

Of course I have a bike

And it's a cool bike.

[Bike horn tooting]

[Panicked yelling]

[Smacks pavement]

[Growling]

[Growling continues]

Bad people are gone now.

You can go back to being a lame-o.

Reggie: yo, squid...

Lighten up.

Yeah, you were new once.

Think fast, big boy.

Whoa.

[Moaning]

Are you okay?

Dude, that was the biggest demonstration

Of lameness I've ever seen.

Reggie: you're the one

Who's being lame, twister.

Yeah, but still...

I don't think sam here is much of a hockey player.

I stink, okay?

Sam, wait!

Guess it's back to just the three of us.

A lot of good thatdoes us, you squid.

Stop calling me squid.

[Excited yelling]

Reggie?

Hi, sam.

Can I talk to you for a minute?

You sure can't play hockey for a minute.

Sure.

What do you think?

Reggie:oh, wow!

How did you...?

Did you scan...?

I can't believe it.

Otto, you got to check this out.

Head's up!look out!

Whoa!

Did you see that, twister?

Beginner's luck.

I don't know.

Hey, reg...

Give sammy there a mask.

We're busy.

Come on!

We got ourselves a goalie here!

[Grunting]

[Grunting]

Wow!

Sam, you rock.

That's not a goalie.

That's an impenetrable force

Of kansas nature.

I can't believe it!

I'm doing it.

I'm really doing it!

Way to be, sammy!

Psych!

Now we have a team for the quad games.

Twist, your brother better watch out.

Whatever.

[Grunts]

Lucky save.

Reggie: sammy!

Right here!

Dude... Your little brother's team is actually b*ating us!

I can't believe it.

We're bigger!

We're older!

[Speaking gibberish]

Exactly!

Hey, this isn't so much fun when we can't stomp them.

You guys going to play or what?

[Both grunting]

Dude!

Hey, look, twister lost the puck!

You forfeit the game!

[Laughs]

What?!

Get out of here.

I'll just get another puck.

Sorry, otto, but according

To the international rules of street hockey

You lose the puck, you lose the game.

Are you kidding me?

I can see why you're upset, but rules are rules.

I can't believe this.

Wait a second.

I have an idea.

Twister: great.

Captain kansas is running away.

[Electrical shorting]

Just a few adjustments.

[Melodic tones beeping]

Lars: no, wait!

There must be a rule!

Forget it, lars.

Game on.

Sammy, you're the best.

Think we got ourselves a new squid.

What?

Oh, yeah!

Now, sam's a squid.

Hey, squid, get back in the goal!

We got a game to win.

"Squid"?

Is that like "dink"?

No.

Cool!

[Excited yelling]

[Kids laughing]

Yeah! Whoo!

[Shuddering]

Whoa!

This can't be happening.

Whoo, it's too good to be true.

What? This is your first time on a trampoline?

No, bro, check it out!

Reggie, I'm leaving you in charge

So pay careful attention.

This is the most important part

Of your house-sitting responsibilities.

Behold, the glorious

Stimpleton in-ground aquatic

Recreation center.

Oh, merv, it's just a pool.

The pool is comprised of , liters

Of anti-bacterialized

Chlorinated water

Precisely heated to ...

Those who are stoked say "yea-ah!

Yea-ah!

Pool party, yea-ah!

[All grunting]

Silence!

Exactly why I have extreme reservations

About leaving thesehooligans

In charge of my pool.

Hooligans?

Reggie here will do a wonderful job.

They're just like family.

[Chuckling]

Ow!

Twister, chill.

Now, pay attention.

The pool's controlled

By this customized central processing unit

Or "c.p.u."

It also controls the house lights, the stereo

The air conditioner or "a.c."

Whoa.

It's an ultra terrabyte

With two megamil parallel processors.

Back off, whiz kid.

Violet: oh, merv, we have to be

In mount shasta by noon

Or we'll be late for your first anger management class.

Keep your shirt on, woman!

If reggie's going to watch our house

She has toprepare!

I've got everything totally under control, sir.

Everything's going to be fine.

Remember my motto: trust in otto.

I've gotthistotally under control, too.

Violet: oh, and remember, kids:

To make your swim time fun complete

Wait an hour after you eat.

Yes, ma'am, you got it.

Whatever you say. You got it.

If we have to wait, can we eat now?

Bathe thoroughly beforehand.

Violet: let's go, merv.

Merv: and no shenanigans.

Dudes!

Our own private pool!

You know it, bro!

Last one in skates with training wheels.

No offense, squid.

[Boys laugh]

Hey, were you losers in a coma just now?

Remember to bathe thoroughly beforehand.

Reggie! Aw, come on!

Yeah!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Whoo-hoo!

Yeah!

Hey!

Oh, man, it's cold.

Just jump in.

My system... I've got to adjust.

Jump in! Come on, squid!

[Gasps]

Ah... Ah...

[Groaning]

Otto, why is the water next to squid so warm?

Sam, you freak.

You didn't.

What? I just jumped in.

Now I know why stimpleton called you "the whiz kid."

[Both laughing]

Knock it off! I didn't do anything!

Give him a break, you guys.

Whoever denied it, supplied it.

[Growls]

You know, if I wanted to

I could flush all the water in this stupid pool

Down the drain right now.

Go ahead. I dare you.

Keep making fun of me.

What?

Sam, you're a genius.

I am?

Empty pool equals skateboard paradise.

Hold up.

If you guys wreck the pool

Stimpleton will go totally nuclear... On me.

Chill, reg.

The sam man's an expert at this stuff.

"Chill"?

Sammy, you can do it, right?

Drain the pool?

Let's see.

If I can reverse polarity by engaging this pump...

Aha. Yeah, sure.

Noproblemo.

Really?

As long as you're okay with it, reg.

You'll be able

To fill it back up, right?

Shove that hose into the storm drain, twist.

[Chuckling]: yes, sir.

Slow down.

I don't think you should...

Don't worry, reg.

What could possibly go wrong?

Hose in drain, general squidman.

[Beeping]

Okay, guys, here goes nothing.

You actually did it.

This is so totally sweet!

People of otto, party positions!

Tito, I'm going

To spend the day with the kids.

Think you can

Handle the rush on your own?

Been training all my life for this.

Let there be tune-age!

[Rock music playing]

Twister: submitted for your approval.

The freakish phenom known as "air otto"

Is about to enter the fly-right zone.

Whoa!

Whoo-hoo!

Whoo-hoo!

Otto!otto!

Oh, the humanity!

So much air, so much air!

Whoa, too much air!

Too much air!

Whoa!

[Otto grunting]

Whoa! That was wicked.

Reggie: what have you done?

Uh, I did an ollie, a circuit to a mctwist

Up a wall into a boned-out indy.

Whoa, raymundo's going to totally freak on you, reg!

Me? You put the hose there

You little dork.

You turned our basement into an aquarium!

Stop yelling at me!

It's the squid's fault.

Me? I didn't know.

I was just...

I don't care whose fault.

[Frustrated yell]

You guys better figure a way to

Drain this place before dad...

Ray: hey, guys, dad's home.

"Home"?

Otto, get movingnow.

I'll keep dad busy.

Hey, pops, what are you doing home?

Remember the old rhyme:

When stimpleton's away, I will use his pool.

Hey, kiddo, do me a favor.

Grab my old surf trunks from the laundry.

Sure, dad.

[Boys yell]

[Loud splash]

Sounds like your brother's way ahead of us.

Here you go.

I got to fix that dryer.

[All yelling]

I hope this works.

[All yelling]

Sam.

[All yell]

Sounds like otto and the guys are really having fun.

Reminds me of my old pool-hopping days.

I've never heard about your pool-hopping days.

Yeah. Me, tito, and johnny liu hopped the fence

At the beverly hills hotel

And crashed a swanky pool party.

Did a swan dive off the three-meter board

And landed on television's favorite maid.

[Maid shrieks]

Banned for life.

Never did let me back in that hotel.

You sure were radical, pop.

"Were"? You ain't seen nothing yet.

Wait up, dad.

How about another story?

[Computer beeping]

[All cheering]

Huh? Hey, uh, dad...

You might want to shower off

Before you dive in.

It's stimpleton's rule.

Lighten up, reg.

Stimpleton's a million miles away by now.

Oh, yeah, right.

Oh, I am such toast.

Hi, pop. Bye, pop.

Later, raymundo.

Nice seeing you again, sir.

Hey, what about a family swim?

Uh, rain check, pop.

Okay.

Hoo!

Yeah!

Huh? Hey, that's my indian nutcracker.

My coconut bikini top?

Merv, all this stalling is makingmeangry.

I didn't quadruple-check the system backup.

Rocket!

[Yells]

[Laughs weakly]

Hiya, neighbors.

Reggie!

Anyone for the beach?

Right behind ya!

And nickelodeon

[Man blubbering]

[Ducks quacking]

[Boinging]

Sam: "squid"? Is that like "dink"?