02x10 - Doug's Hot Ticket/Doug's Dental Disaster

[bunniefuu]

[ Yelps]

[ Barks]

[ Electric guitar playing]

[ Man singing scat]

[ Barks]

Cool! Whoa!

[ Thwack]

[ Barks]

♪ My foot's
asleep... Wow! ♪

♪ My foot's
asleep... Wow! ♪

♪ I got no feeling

♪ 'Cause my shoes
are cheap... Wow! ♪

I can't believe it--

The beets playing
in bloatsburg.

Good thing we're
lining up for tickets

Two hours ahead.

Doug and skeeter:
♪ ah-ee-oo, k*ller tofu

♪ Oh-ee-oh, k*ller tofu!

Excuse me, ma'am.

My friend and I
are here

To line up
for beets tickets.

No problem.

Just get behind
everyone else.

Huh?
Huh?

Skeeter:
what if they run
out of tickets?

What if we miss the
best beets concert

In the history of
the entire world?

[ News theme plays]

Reporter:
we're back live with--

And who could forget
these guys?-- The beets.

So tell us-- of the , beets
concerts, what was the best one?

No question about it.

Had to be that time
we played bloatsburg.

Bloatsburg was our biggest
beets blowout ever.

We played all night.

[ Chairs creaking]

Oh, man.
Oh, man.

[ Wheezing]
[ wheezing]

And we missed it.and we missed it.

Doug:
dear journal, today is
the worst day of my life.

Skeeter and I were next
to get beets tickets

When it happened.

[ Crowd conversing]

[ Both gasp]

[ Footsteps]

[ Hinge creaks]

[ Barks]

That's me.

Hey!

[ Barks]

[ Yelps]

Sold out.

The beets concert was sold out!

[ Sighing:]
sold out!

Did you say "sold out"?

Beets tickets!

How did you get beets tickets?

My date for saturday night
bought them.

He actually thought
I would go to a beets concert.

You have tickets but
you don't want to go?

Surely you jest.

Hmm, I wonder
who I could give these to?

All right,
what do you want, judy?

I want you
to paint my room black.

Well, yeah... Black?

The whole room?

If you're not
interested...

Okay, okay.

I can't believe it!

I can't believe it!
I can't believe it!

Doug:
two beautifully,
fabulously real tickets

To the best concert
in the history of the world!

Say, skeeter...

How will we get
all the way to bloatsburg?

Judy:
yeah, dougie

Mom and dad will
never let you

Take that trip
by yourself.

You're the baby
in our family.

Don't worry,
I've got it all figured out.

We'll take the official
k-bluf beets bus.

The beets bus?

The beets bus,
doug--

The best way to
any beets concert.

I heard about it
on the radio.

Okay, people, I'm frizzy,
the k-bluf beets bus leader.

I need your parents'
permission slips

And you beet-niks
are on the bus.

Both:
all right!

It was perfect.

We were surrounded
by beet maniacs.

♪ I ate my sugar cereal.

♪ But it makes my teeth
bacterial. ♪

♪ And don't eat t-t-t-t-too much
fried food... Yeah! ♪

Group:
♪ ah-ee-oo, k*ller tofu

♪ Oh-ee-oh, k*ller tofu!

Yeah!

Frizzy:
the original title

Was "szechuan bean curd"

But monroe thought it
was too hard to rhyme.

[ Playing beets rock song]

♪ You gotta shout
your lungs out! ♪

If you play "I need more
allowance" really slow

You can hear
wendy nespah

Saying, "I
love cheese!"

[ Tires squeal]

We must be there!

I can't believe it--

The beets
in bloatsburg!

First-timers, right?

This is just a pit stop.

Remember, folks

This is a ten-
minute break.

Ten minutes--
/ of an hour

Seconds.

Let's check out
the diner.

I'm starved.

Doug:
you know...

I've never
been this far

Without
my parents.

Me, too.

It feels kind of great.

I can't believe
we're seeing the beets.

The beets!
The beets!

That's it.

You beet-heads really bug me.

Ha!

There's nothing wrong

With a little
youthful excitement.

Oh, man, you
want excitement?

Ever drive
a -wheel monster

Through a blinding blizzard
with only a half a t*nk?

Yeah, man, I have.

Only my rig was
an -wheel tubacruiser.

A tubacruiser? No kidding.

Why, I drove a tubacruiser
through hurricane wilfred.

Neat!

All this was before

They invented tuba pumps.

You had to suck the diesel
out of the t*nk.

This one
trucker--

Fellow called
fuel line freddy

On account of...

I better go check
on the others.

Frizzy:
don't be
late, guys!

You wrestled
the alligator

And still got
the blood supply

To the hospital?

Yeah.

Wow!
Wow!

Listen, you two--

That wide-open road
is calling my name:

Charlene!

Later, beet-heads.

See you, charlene.

We met a real live
truck driver.

I've got her autograph.

"Charlene,
'clutch first!'"

Wow, maybe we can get the beets'
autographs at the concert.

Concert?!
Concert?!

Skeeter:
oh, no!

We got to get
to the bus!

They wouldn't leave
without us.

Both:
they're leaving without us!

[ Engine sputtering]

Oh, man! We
blew it again.

And we're stuck in
the middle of nowhere.

What'll we do, skeeter?

Stay cool, man.

We could... Call our parents!

Our parents?

Remember,
dougie

You're the baby
in our family.

If my parents
know I messed up

They won't
trust me again.

There's got to be some way
we can get to the concert.

Doug:
by the way, skeeter,
what's a clutch, anyway?

Beats me, man.

I haven't taken
driver's ed. Yet.

[ Both scream]

Doug:
let's see...
Clutch first!

Give me the wheel!

Here, take it!

[ Both screaming]

[ Truck horn blaring]

I-i guess we could always...
Walk to bloatsburg.

Bloatsburg?

Did you boys
say "bloatsburg"?

Oh, yes, sir, mr. Officer, sir.

I'm sheriff melvin b. Yates
of bloatsburg

And I'm just wondering
what kids like you are doing

In a truck stop
at : at night.

: ?!
: ?!

The concert-- it
starts in minutes.

We've come so far
to miss it now.

Yates:
not that beets concert?

Doug:
yes, sir.

We've got tickets
to tonight's show.

Why didn't you say so?

I'm a beet-head
from the time

They were making basement tapes.

In my basement.

Kids:
no way!

That song
"where's my sock"?

That was my sock they
were singing about.

Doug:
wow!

Despite all our problems

Skeeter and I
had finally made it.

There was only onetiny problem.

We left the tickets
at the diner!

Oh, no!
Oh, no!

Now we'll miss
the concert of
our lives for sure!

[ Men grunting]

Doug:
look at that.

Step on it.

That flat tire made us late.

Skeeter:
the beets'
equipment truck!

We didn't miss
the show yet.

Call me crazy, but...
Hey, mister

Need any help
unloading that stuff?

Help? Sure!

Just grab a guitar
and follow that amp.

All right!
All right!

[ Audience cheering]

[ Screen crackling]

Crowd [ chanting]:
we want the beets!

We want the beets!

We want the beets!
We want the beets!

[ Crowd keeps chanting]

I'm carrying
monroe yoder's guitar!

I've got chap lipman's cymbals!

Sorry for the delay,
but it's worth it.

Bloatsburg is proud
to welcome... The beets!

[ Cheering]

Huh?
Huh?

Thanks, fellows.

Thanks, blokes,
appreciate the help.

W-w-w-wendy nespah
touched my shoulder!

That's nothing.

Flounder stepped on my foot!

Hello, bloatsburg!

[ Crowd roars]

♪ You gotta whistle,
gotta romp ♪

♪ You gotta scream,
you gotta stomp ♪

♪ You gotta shout
your lungs out! ♪

♪ You gotta holler,
gotta yell ♪

♪ You gotta clap,
you gotta wail ♪

♪ You gotta shout
your lungs out! ♪

♪ You gotta roll
your window down ♪

♪ You gotta rock your socks,
you gotta roll your soul ♪

♪ Bust a vocal chord

♪ You gotta lose control...

It's funny how sometimes
your biggest adventure

Can get even better
only after things go wrong.

We almost missed the concert

Only to end up with
the best seats in the house.

This is the best
concert ever!

In the history
of the entire world!

♪ ...bust a vocal chord

♪ You got to lose control!

[ Singer wails]

[ Guitar solo plays]

[ Smash adams theme playing]

No...

No...

No...

Hello!

[ Laughs triumphantly]

Ooh!

[ Chortles]

[ Bleeping]

Excuse me, doctor

I thought I'd
just drop in.

[ Tittering:]
yes, mr. Adams.

Do drop in.

[ Cackling menacingly]

[ Shouts]

Oof!

[ Grunting]

Tell me, mr. Adams-- is it safe?

Is it safe?

[ Cackling]

[ Audience gasping]

Skeeter:
smash is the coolest.

Doug:
yeah.

There skeeter and I were

Watching the most exciting
smash adams movie

That we'd only seen
seven exciting times

When suddenly...

Ow!

Shh!

What's wrong, doug?

[ Mumbling]

It's my tooth, skeet--

Something's wrong with my tooth.

[ Footsteps]

[ Hinge creaks]

[ Barks]

That's me.

Hey!

[ Barks]

[ Yelps]

Nope... Nope.

Ah, here we go.

Whoa!

[ Angry clamoring]

Hello, boys.

Gentlemen, shall we dance?

[ Doug grunting]

[ Shouts]

Ow!

[ Squeals]

Ow! Man...

Skeeter:
you'll have to
hold still, doug.

Uh-huh...
Okay, let's see...

[ Hums]

Okay... [ Gasps]

Wow!

What? What?

Did you know
that one of your teeth

Looks just like my aunt mabel?

Oh, let me see.

I want to see.

Oh, it looks
just like her!

Hey, it's my sore tooth
you're looking for

Not your relatives,
skeeter!

Nah, her ears
don't go like that.

Skeeter!

Ooh.

Ooh.

What? What?

Looks like it
might be a cavity.

Aw, that's all?

That's nothing.

What do you mean?

I've never had a cavity.

This is terrible!

You just have to go
to the dentist

And get it drilled.

The dentist gives me
the willies.

But afterwards,
your teeth feel great!

You like
the dentist, patti?

How many cavities
have you had?

Actually, none.

If I did, I'd probably
be so scared.

All that drilling
and needles-- ooh!

Thanks, patti.

Thanks a lot.

Maybe it isn't
a cavity at all.

Maybe it's just a...

Roger:
a rotten tooth!

What?

I hear you got a rotten tooth--

A bum chicle...
A busted chewer.

I've got a sore
tooth is all.

Whatever.

I bet you're
scared.

No, I'm not.

When that quack gets his mitts
inside your pie-hole

You'll be screaming!

What?

Dentists get paid

For each tooth
they pull!

How do you think

They earn
so much?

Cut it out, roger!

You mean "yank it out,"
don't you, funnie?

[ Snickering]

Boy, porkchop, one day
you have a perfect smile

And the next,
you're gumming applesauce.

But the dentists
can't all be quacks.

They wouldn't let just anybody
start pulling teeth.

Would they?

[ Hinge groans]

[ Sinister cackling]

Ull ever ake ee ock, octor ecay!

I beg your pardon?

I said you'll never
make me talk, dr. Decay!

Oh, I don't want you
to talk, mr. Adams...

I want you to suffer!

[ Laughing maniacally]

[ Shrieking laughter]

[ Gasps]

Just to be safe, I decided
the best thing to do

Was to wait
for the pain to go away.

And who knows?

Maybe in a couple of days
I won't feel a thing.

Ow!

Mr. Dink:
hello!

Hey,
mr. Dink.

What's the matter?

You look a little
down in the mouth.

Oh, nothing.

Say, have you
ever had a cavity?

Sure, I had them all the time.

Too many chocolate shakes,
I suppose.

What did you do?

Why, nothing, douglas.

Eventually, the whole
problem just went away.

Really? When was that?

Well, let's see...

Why, that'll be...

[ Gasps]

Years ago next tuesday.

Boy, has it been
that long already?

[ Gasps]

It seems like I just
replaced my old choppers

With titanium alloy.

[ Guffaws]

Very expensive.

[ Lisping:]
patti, want to
shag some balls?

[ Guffawing]

Why, my teeth
were so rotten

You probably couldn't
really call them teeth.

Uh, thanks, mr. Dink.

You... You've really
helped me out.

Anytime, douglas!

After seeing what happened
to mr. Dink's teeth

I decided it was best
to go to the dentist.

It couldn't be as bad
as everybody said it was.

"Dental college of new hampster.

Dr. Kay, d.d.s."

Hmm, maybe there's nothing
to be afraid of after all.

Woman:
furrie--
doug furrie?

Furrie-- doug furrie?

That's "funnie,"
and I'm right here.

Follow me.

Your
examination

Will start
shortly.

The doctor's
with another
patient right now.

[ Patient screaming]

[ Gulps]

Oh... Oh,
I'm in no hurry.

[ Patient screaming in pain]

I knew it was going to be bad,
but not this bad.

Even smash would think twice
before sticking around for this.

[ Drill whirring;
dr. Decay cackling]

Huh?

[ Tires squealing]

Huh?

[ Gasps]

[ Heart pounding]

The doctor
will be with you shortly.

[ Moans]

Comfortable?

Yes, ma'am.

No problem.

[ Muffled screams]

Huh?

If I could hold out
a little longer

This thing would be over with
and I'd have no more problems.

Or maybe not.

Too late.

Woman:
good morning,
mr. Funnie.

You're... The dentist?

Yes, and you can call me
dr. Kay.

Uh, yeah...
I mean, right, dr. Kay.

So, I hear you have
your first cavity.

Yeah, well, I suppose there's
a first time for everything.

It seems like I had just gotten
there when dr. Kay said...

All finished.

Wow, that's it, huh?

It wasn't that bad!

[ Laughing:]
oh, good.

Let's just drill
some more.

No, I think one is
enough for today.

[ Laughs]

Mr. Funnie...

It was a
pleasure working

On a patient
as good as you.

Iwas a good patient?

Yes-- not everyone is
as calm at the dentist.

You'd be
surprised

How nervous
some people get.

Yeah, can you imagine that?

[ Patient screams]

What was that?

That's my
other patient.

I'm just going
to clean his teeth.

He's a bit squeamish.

Boy:oh, no,not you!
[ Screeching]

[ Screaming]

Funnie!

Watch out!

She's
dangerous!

She's trying to k*ll me!

Whoa!

Get me out of here!

I guess roger's got

A super-low
threshold of pain.

Well, this whole tooth business

Wasn't as bad
as I made it out to be.

I guess I made
a bigger deal out of it

Than I should have.

And it sort of
boils down to that

"Sometimes you're
scared of being scared
which makes you scared."

Mr. Dink:
tippy, have you
seen my teeth?

Hmm,
let's see...

I had them here earlier.

Hey, porkchop, mr. Dink is
looking for his choppers.

I wonder where they could be?

[ Porkchop barking]

[ Flamenco music]

[ Teeth clacking]

Captioned by
the caption center
wgbh educational foundation

♪ You gotta shout
your lungs out! ♪

♪ You gotta holler, gotta yell,
you gotta clap, you gotta wail ♪

♪ You gotta shout
your lungs out! ♪

♪ You gotta roll
your window down ♪

♪ You gotta rock your socks,
you gotta roll your soul ♪

♪ Bust a vocal chord

♪ You gotta lose control!

[ Singer wails]

[ Guitar solo]

♪ You gotta roll
your window down ♪

♪ You gotta rock your socks,
you gotta roll your soul ♪

♪ Bust a vocal chord

♪ You gotta lose control!

[ Singer screeches]

♪ You gotta whistle,
gotta romp ♪

♪ You gotta scream,
you gotta stomp ♪

♪ You gotta shout
your lungs out! ♪