01x06 - But Never Doubt I Love

[bunniefuu]

Pascalle, dreaming
about being a model is—

It is not a dream.

MEN CHEER

(SCREAMS)
Oh.

She's pregnant?

Mr Hong has a warehouse full
of unreleased new releases.

You head on back to your lifestyle
block and let me manage the store.

I provide you with a list of what I
need and how many units, and I pay
you eight bucks a unit — cash.

INSTRUCTOR: Now inhale and draw the
groin inward, deep into the pelvis.

Now, keeping the torso long, lean
forward from the hip — not the
waist, the hip —

and lengthen the tail bone.

This exercise is especially
good for menstrual discomfort.

Hello. Can I help you?

Rita?

Rita. Oh God!

Rita.

Stop it. Get off me.

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Hi.
Hey.

Happy anniversary.

You remembered. Nobody else did.

Bugger all else to do in here
— except think about you.

years, eh? What is that?

Uh, china.

WHISPERS: God, I want you.

Yeah.

Kids send their love.

You know what I was thinking
about this morning?

I was thinking about the way you
arch your back when I lick your
nipples.

GENTLE COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

MUSIC DIES

Any mail?

Just junk. And these.
These are for you.

Who are they from?

Does it matter? They're flowers.
God, I never get flowers.

Guess where I've been.

I've got no idea, Loretta.

I get home and there's a message on
the answering machine — 'This is
Amanda from the community centre.

'We have a Theodore West
here. He seems confused.'

Oh, shit, not again.

He hugged her and called her
Rita and she freaked out.

Why? In its way
it's kind of touching.

Yeah, well, what she felt
touching her was his stiffy.

Oh my God! It's my first
paid modelling job.

Classy (!)

Oh my God. God, that-that-that's
wonderful, love.

I'm going to frame it so one day
I can remember my humble beginnings.

Does this mean you are gonna
give up that waitressing job?

No. Not yet, but soon.

Did you say something about flowers?

These are for you.

God, I never get flowers.

Yeah, heard you before, Mum.

Oh, there's no name.

It just says, 'Please meet me,'
and where and when.

Cool — my first secret admirer.

Or your first nutjob.

Hello.

Whatever it is, it had
nothing to do with me.

(LAUGHS) No, no, no.

This isn't police business.

This is business of the heart.

Oh, yuck. You are so
on the wrong planet.

I can't help how I feel, Pascalle.
When I saw you on that stage...

I don't normally go to clubs like
that, but the other guys made me.
What I saw changed my life.

You saw me at the Champagne Club?

Oh yes.

HEAVENLY MUSIC PLAYS

Look, Constable
whatever-your-name-is...

Hickey.
Hickey?

Glen.
You really sucked the
kumara on the name front.

My best friend at high school
was Graham Gaylord.

(LAUGHS) Look, Glen,

I'll say this as nice as
I can — no way, not ever. Bye.

I just want to get to know you
better. I'm a nice guy — honest.

Uh, am-am I needed for anything?

How would I know? Mama Bear and Papa
Bear are at the doctor's for a scan.

Eh?

You know. Baby. Scan. Anything you
can't follow here, ask them, not me.

Yeah, but, hey — w-will
they be able to tell?

What?
The-The baby, of course.
If it's not,... you know,...

Asian.

No, Van. They won't be able
to tell if it's yours.

Cool.

So,... we're good, then?

I thought the daughter
wanted you to root the mum.

She did.
So why the big freeze now she knows?

Well, she didn't want me to
get her pregnant, apparently.

So, why did you?

I didn't mean to.

Condom failure? Bro, haven't you
heard about AIDS and crabs and
all that shit?

Yeah, well, she was like an animal,
man. She would jump on my d*ck
before I had a chance to sheath it.

Yeah, well, it's hard to
stop when that happens.

How would you know?

So, does Mr Triad
know it's your baby?

He's not a triad.

You hope he's not a triad.

He's not, OK?

Cos if he was, he'd cut off your
gonads and feed them to his pandas.

He hasn't got any
f*cking pandas, man!

No. Absolutely no way.

But I've got a job interview
this afternoon — data processing.

Sounds alluring, but tough shit.

Loretta, I need someone to look
after Grandpa and I'm picking you.

Why?
Cos you know he can't be trusted.

Why can't Pascalle do it?

She can't be trusted.

I'm working at the Video Hut.

Not till after school.

Well, yeah, obviously.

Grandpa and I can get you from
school and you can take him to
the store.

Mum, he'll molest all the customers.

Well, park him in the corner.

You know he likes to watch
those old prison-break films.

Where are me trousers?

Come on, Ted —
they'll be on your bed.

Oh, crap.

What are you doing here?
Getting an education.

No, that would be in the classroom.

Which is where we beg to differ.

Is today a 'school optional' day?

I wouldn't be here if
I didn't have to, OK?

HORN BEEPS

Oh, crap.

WHISPERS: Shit.
OK, stay cool.

Hi, Mum.
Hi, honey. Hi, Miss Darling.

Uh, hello, Mrs West.

You didn't have to let Loretta
out of school early for Grandpa.

Loretta told me how she was needed
and I thought it was a good chance
to talk.

About what?

About how happy I am with the way
that Loretta's turned things around
at school.

That's lovely.

Isn't it? Excuse me.

OK, Grandpa. Come on, handover time.

Can we stay and watch
the girls come out?

Not today, Grandpa.

Bye, Mum.
Bye, love.

Grandpa. The video store's this way.

Thanks.

Boss.

Lose the sarcasm, Kurt.

Some, you know, people for you.
You know them?

Friends of Zane. They want a
'Resident Evil: Final Revelations'
pre-release hook-up.

So, no-taste losers?
Gamers. ]

Think of the money, Kurt.

That thought warms me
all the way to prison.

Hang here a minute, Grandpa
— I'll be right back.

Do you have Cool Hand Luke?

Do we? You bet.

You want the widescreen version?
What?

Widescreen or not?

I'm half blind — do you
think I give a flying f*ck?

Where's Grandpa?
He's... not here.

Brilliant (!) Eight seconds and you
lose him. What was he doing when you
last saw him?

He was standing right there
looking at some woman.

What woman?

She rented something, then left.

And you left him alone?

He wanted Cool Hand Luke.

(SIGHS) OK, what did she get out?

Uh, Scent of a Woman. Why?

Because thanks to you, genius, I now
have to find out who and where she
is.

Yes?

Oh my God. Theodore?

Yes.

We have news which we want you both
to hear because though Tracey is
only the actual family member,

Van, you're almost
like family to us.

A boy.

Yes. The baby is a boy. A son.

f*ck! f*ck, f*ck, f*ckity f*ck!

So, this is bad?

As if my opinion didn't already
mean nothing, now there's a son.

Yeah, but he's only, like, this big.

Oh, f*ck, Van, he's
a son. I mean shit now.

So, um,... what about me?

What about you?

What about me with the whole 'who's
the real daddy' thing? You could go
anywhere with that,

including straight to your old man.

I'm still thinking.

Yeah, but where does that
leave me? I'm the daddy here.

Don't you have lawns to mow?

Hi. Um, I'm not quite
sure how to put this,

but did a strange man follow
you home from the video store?

Depends what you mean by 'strange'.
You must be Loretta. I'm Margaret.
Come in.

Thanks.

I told her you'd track me down.

OK.

It's a wonderful feeling, Loretta
— pity you're too young to know.
Know what?

What it's like, the moment you see
someone dear to you years after
you'd thought they'd gone forever.

You're a lot... happier
than I've seen you in a while.

Oh, I've got a reason to live now,
Loretta. After meeting Mark again.

When I saw her in your
video store, I knew it was him.

It's amazing the connections the
human brain can make. I just knew.

Knew what, exactly?

That your customer, Margaret,
was my old mate, Mark.

Loretta, I taught this man
everything he knows about
safe-cracking.

Until we got stitched up by that
old bastard and ended up in Mt Eden
together.

BOTH LAUGH

Uh...

Hey, Dad.
You OK?

Yeah, I'm good. Sort of. You?

Getting by. What's wrong?

What do you mean?

'Sort of.' What's all that about?

Um...

Do you remember how you felt when
Mum told you she was pregnant with
me and Jethro?

Have you got some girl up the duff?

Nah, nah, no way. No.

Well, why are you asking
me all that, then?

I'm just interested, that's all.

Why?

I just am, OK?

Is this your way of telling me
your mother's pregnant again?

No.

Why the hell would
I be doing that? No.

I don't know. Bloody odd question to
be asking your old man, that's all.

Unless you've got
some girl up the duff.

I haven't, OK? I just...

I want to know how you're meant to
feel, you know? Just in case I do.

It depends on the girl, I guess. If
you love her. Which I did. Still do,
actually.

So much it hurts sometimes.

Actually, it was me that told your
mum she was pregnant with you two.
Yeah?

Yeah. We were lying on the kitchen
floor. I was licking around her
navel...

I just looked up at her,
all flushed and sweaty.

I said something along the lines
of 'I reckon you're pregnant.'

And she was. That
answer your question?

Yeah, that's great. Thanks, Dad.

She's an OK chick — for a bloke.

That she is. Probably best you
don't mention Margaret to anyone.

Yeah. Don't want to feed
into all those stereotypes.

What's that?

The transgender community.

What's that?

Well, people like Mark
who have become Margaret.

Sex-change people. There
can be a lot of prejudice.

Oh, yeah. Right. I suppose.

I was more thinking that
she's an escaped convict.
Sorry?

Oh yeah. Mark was always
a much faster runner than me.

When the van door got left open
on that day on the way to the
arraignment...

Mind you, he deserved to make it.
Life was a lot tougher inside for
Mark than me,

especially when I wasn't
there to protect him.

Watching Mark leg it when he
disappeared over that hedge...

After Rita's funeral, that was
the saddest moment of my life.

Cheryl. Sorry to keep you waiting.
Make my day and tell me you're here
to report a crime.

I am, actually — police harassment.

Of you?
My family. My house. Why have
you got it under surveillance?

You're under the impression
your house is under surveillance?

What I want to know is why.

As I've said, no member of my family
is involved with anything illegal.

Not this week.

I don't care if you don't believe me
— it's the truth and it's good
enough for me.

So why have you got my
house under surveillance?

The thing is, Cheryl... How can I
answer that question? By definition,
surveillance is a covert operation.

Not the way you guys do it.

But if I told you about the
surveillance, it wouldn't be
covert, would it?

So it is under surveillance?

I'm not saying that. I'm saying
if it were, I couldn't tell you.

So it's not?
I'm not saying that.

Well, then, why is one of your
boys parked across the road?

Me and my family have got nothing to
do with anything criminal any more,
so if you're watching my house,

the only incriminating thing
you'll see is me hanging out
Van's Y-fronts.

Christ, there's an image to
conjure with now, isn't it?

Please. Just leave us alone.

I always knew I'd have a stalker —
I didn't think it would be so soon.

This cop guy only wants to
meet you — how is that stalking?

Oh, he wants way more than that.

I want to swim in you, Pascalle.
I want to drown in your eyes!

In a way, he's kind of cute. You
know, apart from being f*cked in
the head.

Yeah, apart from that.

It's the look in his eyes
that gives it away, mainly.

Which is what?

It's a kind of...
just stalking look.

Please, I just want one
thing to think of you by.

Go away.
Just one little keepsake — please.

(LAUGHS)

Ew. Did you give him
a pair of your undies?

Ew, no. I gave him a pair
of Van's — not that he noticed.

(GASPS)

DISGUSTEDLY: Oh. Oh. Oh!

I'm sorry, but I cannot have this
sort of thing happening at this
stage of my career.

Maybe when you're Rachel Hunter.

Then my entourage will deal with it.

And your publicists will cash in.

I already have an entourage.

You do? ]

I wouldn't have come to you, but
I didn't know who else to go to.

Yeah.

Man, what a prick.

Yeah, I know.
Here you go, Pascalle.

Thanks, Munter. So, what do
you think I should do, Van?

Well, you should
tell him to f*ck off.

He doesn't listen to me.

You could tell him
to f*ck off for me.

Yeah, but I've kinda got
my own problems, you know?

Man, she's your sister. She just
caught some guy jacking off in her
undies.

You have to do something.

Yeah.

Yeah, OK. But it'll have to be after
lunch tomorrow, OK? I've got my own
shit to sort out.

Thank you, Van. You are the
best brother a girl could have.

(SIGHS)

Don't wait up.

Settle, tiger.

OK, bye.

Grandpa, the babe magnet. (LAUGHS)

Why do you have to take everything
and make it tacky? They're friends.

Well, I think it's lovely.

Cos it's lovely or cos he's someone
else's problem for the day?

Either way, that woman is a godsend
— I want to marry her and have her
babies.

Fat chance there.

So, are your grandad and the tr*nny
prison escaper getting it on?

They're just friends, Kurt.

Friends who once
shared a prison cell.

What's your point?

Nothing. So, was he gay back then?
The Mark/Margaret person, not your
grandpa.

My grandpa is not gay.

I never said he was. I asked if his
much younger transsexual cellmate
was.

Just because Margaret is a
transsexual does not mean
she's gay, you know.

Gay then or gay now?

What?

Was he into women when he was
a man, which made him straight,

but now that he's a woman and he's
still into women — makes him a
lesbian.

Oi.

Where's Mr Hong?

Isn't it your job to know?

Well, I don't know
what my job is any more.

I don't know. He's up at the
stables doing something to horses.

Well,... we should,...

you know,

talk.

About...?

Well, what do you think?

I don't know. You're the
one who wants to talk.

Uh, the baby.

My baby?
Yeah, my baby too.

How would that be possible?

Eh?

How could Mr Hong's
baby be your baby?

There was those times
I put my cock up your—

There's where you're going wrong.
There is no way this is your baby.

But what if it is?

I'm telling you it isn't,
because I say it isn't.

Look, if I'm the daddy,
then I need to know, so—

For God's sake, Van.

There is no way that you will
ever be the father of my child.

Now, if you can get that one thought
to stay in your head, then we'll get
along just fine.

You have rights, man, as the father.
You need to assert those rights.

You're the father, man.

Yeah. Yeah, I am.

If you didn't want to be the father,
you shouldn't have shot your load.

I told you — she jumped me.

Is that him?

Which one?
In the uniform.

Which one?

The one with the moustache.

Which one?

The short one.

Nah, that's not him. The Hickey
guy doesn't have a moustache.

You sure?

Mm. Yeah.

So why did you say, 'Which one?'

Which time?

You said, 'Which one?' Then I said,
'The one with the moustache,'

and then you said,
'Which one?' again.

I didn't think of it then.

Oh.

Hey, hey — d-do you want a cookie?

Oh, your mum's special afghans?
Yeah.

Only time she bakes is when Uncle
Carlos turns up with a bag of heads.

We should, you know,
keep our wits about us.

One couldn't hurt though, eh?

Nah.

PHONE RINGS

Cheryl speaking.

Wayne Judd here, Cheryl.

What do you want?

I'm looking out my office window,
and do you know what I see?

Oh, I wouldn't have the foggiest.

There's a van parked across the
road. There's two men inside the
van. Van is in the van.

And that's your Van —
that's not Van Halen.

The other guy seems to fit the
description of his dipshit mate
Munter.

Now, I gotta ask the question,
Cheryl — do you have us under
surveillance?

Because if you do, we give up. Your
guys are too clever by half for
plodders like us (!)

PHONE DISCONNECTS

Hi.
Hello, love.

Good day?
Wonderful.

Cool.
Can you guys, um,
excuse me for a while?

How's Margaret?

Wonderful. We played bowls.

Must be good for you guys to
catch up after all these years.

It is indeed.

So, how long were you guys in a cell
together back when she was a man?

Oh, two years, just about.
months, to be exact. Before Mark
escaped.

The second-saddest day of your life.

Was it?

That's what you said.
After Grandma dying.

You guys were close, eh?

You've got to understand I was
away from Rita for a long stretch

and he was a very attractive man
battling with his sexuality.

God, on personality alone, he'd be
hard to resist — leaving aside the
fact he was an Adonis at that age.

Grandpa, how could you?

He learnt at my feet, Loretta.
Before we went inside, he worshipped
me; all that I taught.

And then I learnt at his.

I don't need to know that.

Loretta, what else do you expect
when you lock men up together for
any length of time?

Happens all the time.

Hello, love.
Hi, Dad.

Where's Mum?

Oh, no, just me. I just
wanted to see that you're OK.

Sure. Sure, I am.
Did your mum talk to you?

About what?

Oh, just last time she came, I went
on a bit, you know, about how much
I was missing her.

Oh.

Thought she might have
sent you to check up on me.

No. Just me. All my own idea.

She just caught me on one of those
lonely days, you know? They're the
worst.

Well, I guess you've always
got your cellmate to talk to.

Nah, I don't have a cellmate.

Really? Oh, that's great.

And, Dad, just remember that Mum
really really loves you and she
always will, OK?

All right, love, I will.

I still like your idea of us
supergluing his hand to his cock.

Is that him?

Yep. I didn't know he cycled.

MUNTER: So?

So nothing. Follow his cycling arse.

What the hell are you two doing?

Why didn't you come to me?

I dunno.

Honey, if there is a pervert
stalking you, I want to know —
I need to know.

It wasn't like he was a freaky
stalker — he was just a pain in
the arse.

Yeah, but going to Van? I mean,
what if he'd done something stupid?

OK, but my point is, by doing
something stupid to a cop,

Van nearly ended up in prison for a
really long time. Why couldn't you
come to me?

I was just... embarrassed.

Oh, honey, there's no need
to be. It's not your fault.

When did this all start?

Um, it might have been one of the
times when he was one of the cops
who raided us.

I mean, there were
always cops in my room.

OK. Leave it with me.

No, you don't have to do anything.

Oh yes, I do.
No, really.

No, really. I will deal with this.

(SIGHS)

What are you doing?

Waiting. Thinking.

Is that wise?

Uh-uh-uh. Right — nobody leaves.

What?

I need to, uh... Where
is Mr Hong, by the way?

He's at the gym. Why?

Great. Because I need
to say something. OK?

God, is this going
to take very long?

No.

Now, look, I have rights and
I want to assert them, OK? Now.

What rights?

The right not to be treated the
way you guys are treating me.

And-And-And also the right to talk
about our child and every— Shh. It's
not funny.

Are you out of your f*cking mind?

No, I'm not out of my f*cking mind.

Did I not make it clear enough? You
are not the father of this child.

Not until DNA tests
prove you're a lying slut.

Hey! This pregnancy is hard enough
as it is without accusations adding
to my blood pressure

and without anyone sticking bloody
great needles into my tummy.

You are so going to be found out.

Yeah, like, when the baby
comes out looking like me.

So? It took after my side of
the family, not Mr Hong's.

Look, your father is not gonna risk
the life of his son because you hate
me.

When you can get your head around
that, we can start working together.

Working together on what?

I run the house, you run the
business — isn't that what you want?

A w*r will do neither
of us any good, Tracey.

Hello. Ladies. Remember me? Yeah,
the one that got you pregnant and
now that I did get you pregnant,

you just expect me to
f*cking, like, walk away?

God, Van, just think about it.
I mean, do you really want to play
mummsies and daddy with her?

Well, no, but—
You sowed a seed. That's it.
Get the f*ck over it.

Thank you, Tracey.

My pleasure.

DOGS BARK

Make yourself at home (!) You better
have armed backup, Sergeant Judd.

Cops aren't my
favourite people today.

Yeah, so I gathered. I thought
you might be celebrating.

What have I got to celebrate?

Ending the career of a young cop.

You got Jethro's letter, did you?

Pretty fancy words for
a jumped-up law clerk.

Any big words you don't understand,
there's a dictionary right—

Yes, an official complaint has been
lodged against Constable Hickey.

It's a serious allegation, Cheryl
— stalking a member of the public.

Yeah, well, you try being the
mother of the girl being stalked.

(SIGHS) Look, he's just a young
fulla. He had a rush of blood to
the head.

It's where else the blood's
rushing that's bothering me.

Look, Cheryl, Hickey is a good cop.

(LAUGHS) Yeah (!)

I'll give him a bollocking.
You can give him a bollocking.

Don't end his career cos
he's got the hots for Pascalle.

Oh, Jeez, Wayne — what in hell makes
you think I'd leave it to you to
sort out?

Look, Cheryl. I give you my
word — I'll put an end to this.

Right, is that how it works, is it?
A cop breaks the law and good old
Wayne fixes it?

(SCOFFS)

You know, he's not entirely to blame
here. Your daughter's gorgeous,

so it's hard for a young fulla to
resist when she's got no clothes on.

How Pascalle dresses has got
nothing to f*cking do with—

It's not about how she dresses.

It's how she undresses down at
the club that's more to the point.

What?

Oh, Jesus, Cheryl.
You didn't know, did you?

What? Pascalle's a waitress
at the Champagne Club.

Oh, come on.

Jesus, Cheryl, for someone who's
the head of the West family,
you can be pretty bloody gullible.

MEN CHEER

MAN: Show us those tits.

MEN: Ooooh.

MEN GROAN

That's my f*cking daughter,
you f*cking arsehole!

What do you want for
breakfast, Loretta?

Toast, thanks, with Vegemite.

Who did what? OK, that
answers that question.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Loretta, can you answer
the door, please?

Yep.

Hi, Loretta.

Come in.

Morning, madam.

Good morning, Theodore. I'll
bring him back safe and sound.

Ta-ra.

Grandpa gets a girlfriend and it's
my fault I've got a stalker — how
screwed up is this world?

Who's the d*ck in the glasses?

The architect. They're
renovating for the baby's room.

Bastard.

Get over it, Van. I mean, you
got a root out of it, didn't you?

Yeah, I guess.

So there you go. Every
cloud has a silver lining.

Bet she wasn't as
good as me, though.

You rooted her, didn't you?
When you pretended to be me,

you took advantage of me
to take advantage of her.

Was I not meant to?
No!

Well, you said go along with
whatever happened, so I did.

Y— Not that far!

[ Oh. Sorry.

How do I root her again when I don't
know what I did the first time?

So you're in?

Well, yeah. I was when I was you, so
why wouldn't I be now I'm me again?

Are you sure you want to go there?
She's not exactly your type.

You didn't do any
weird shit, did you?

[ What?

You know, tongue stuff.

Yes, Van, I did all that stuff.

f*ck.

And you know what else
I did that's even worse?

I held her in my arms afterwards and
I talked to her, and even worse, I
listened.

Oh, f*ck. Now she's going to
expect that shit all the time, man.

Where are you going?
Work.

Really?

I still don't see why
you're upset about this.

You're the one who chose poverty
for us and I had to get a job.

Not this kind of job.

There's nothing illegal
about stripping.

Jesus, you know what I mean.

You don't know what you're talking
about. Stripping empowers women.

What sleazeball sold you that crap?

Robbie is not a sleazeball.

Sure he's not (!)

Why are you being so mean to me?

Because you strip for a living.

Because you lied and you dragged
your brother into this and nearly
got him arrested.

If you were a real mother, you'd
understand what I was going through.

Oh, and what is that, Pascalle?

I was being stalked.

Well, you know, if you're a
stripper, you better get used to it.

What happened to you?
Nothing.

Do you want a life like this —

men jacking off while you flash
your tits at them? Do you?

What happened to your
dreams of being a model?

It's a step on the way.

Not for Rachel Hunter, it's not.

That is so unfair.

What is?
Bringing Rachel into this.

I give up. You know what you're
doing and I don't have a clue,

so off you go, strip for a living
— make us all proud (!) Go on.

Well, what?

All right. What do
you want me to do?

So my lawyer — well, my brother —

he'll write you a letter withdrawing
the complaints and everything.

Thanks.
Whatever.

And I'm getting counselling and
stuff — about my getting obsessed
with you.

I started by burning all the
copies of your flyer I had.

OK.

Do you want your undies back?

They're not mine — they're Van's.

I thought they were
a little big for you.

You're not wearing them, are you?

Oh my God.

I washed them.

I so don't care. Just keep them.

Thanks. For what it's worth, I think
I would have fallen in love with you
eventually,

even if I hadn't seen you up on that
stage, even if I hadn't seen your...

Look, I'm here with my mum, so
just lay off the freaky talk, OK?

Sorry.
(SIGHS) I'm done.

Do you think there might
still be a chance that—?

Sorry, Glen, but no.

I mean, you seem kinda harmless for
a freak, but you're not my kind of
guy.

You remembered my name's Glen.

Good luck with your life.

Good luck with your modelling.
I reckon you'll be the next Rachel
Hunter.

How did you know about that?

Know what?

Christ, I think I might cry.

Oh, shut up. Come on.

I'll miss you.

I'll miss you. Keep going with
the laser pointer routine, cos
it's gonna be classy.

Thanks. I will.

If being nude's your mum's problem,
there's the jelly-wrestling.

Thanks, Robbie, but I'm gonna pass
on that tempting offer. And thank
you for everything.

You're gonna be a big star, babe.
I know.

And you've changed my view on strip
club owners — you're so not sleazy.

Thanks. I appreciate that.

It's time to move on. If I want to
be the next Rachel Hunter, the clock
is ticking.

Think of us when you get there.

See ya.

You would have made a great father
and I would have made a choice
uncle.

Yeah, I know.

We would have taught him how to play
league, made sure he ate his greens,

and,... oh, you know, just
really been there for him, eh?

Sure.
Ah, maybe one day, bro.
When we find the right lady.

I reckon.

So, uh, you're rooting
the daughter now?

I'm in with a f*ckin' grin, man.

Choice.

What the f*ck are you doing?

Taking my pants off.
Why?

I figured we could, you know,
pick up where we left off.

What?

Well, you know.

Van, I will f*ck you when
I'm ready and not before.

Eh?
Now get out of my
room before I scream.

But I can... I can hold you
afterwards and, you know, I'll
listen...

One,

two...

Chicks, man.

Right, I'm off.

There's heaps of good stuff from
Mr Hong. New Oliver Stone film.

I thought you said good.

There's also the Robin Williams
feel-good comedy, if you'd prefer
that.

Any sex-change, romantic
comedy, prison-escape films?

Severely unfunny, Kurt.

I think it's cute.
It's disgusting.

Man, you so have to
get over yourself.

What?
This hang-up you have about sex.

I do not have a hang-up about sex.

You curl up in this foetal ball
each time the S-word gets mentioned.

I do not.

Loretta, for a criminal genius,
you're remarkably prudish.

How would you know, anyway?

By being your best and only friend.

Soon to be ex-friend.

I'm not saying there's
anything wrong with it —

it's just funny seeing your
grandpa's getting it on with
a tr*nny.

They are not getting it on,
OK? They're just friends, doing
stuff that friends do together.

Good for you?

Great for me. I think it'll
be like riding a bicycle.

The old firm's back
in business, then?

My oath we are.