01x11 - It Cannot Come to Good

[bunniefuu]

I want to offer you new challenge.
If you do well, much more money.

CHUCKLES: Yeah?

I always believe in you, Van.

(GASPS) Oh my God.
Oh my God! Oh my...

I love you.

I want to humiliate him in the most
public way possible, but it will
mean Grant being back in your life.

We haven't got all day.

To the car.

Money in the boot.

Shut the boot.

And... off youse go
for a cup of tea.

Hey.

Oh, nah, nah, ah! What you doing?!?

What are you doing, man?!

We can... talk!

Not the spoiler, you geek!

Tell her she's been warned.

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.' ♪

You should've smacked 'em, man.

Yeah, they got away before I could.

So who's the her?

I dunno. They didn't say.
Draska?

Nah, nah. These were quite
hardcore guys, you know?

Draska — she's not into, like—
Crime.

Maybe they just got the wrong car.

Maybe they thought it was a chick's
car that had pissed them off.

It is kind of a chick's car.

(LAUGHS SARCASTICALLY)

It's your round.

I just bought the last round.

I'm broke.
This always happens.

What are you — Mr Memory?

I just recall it seemed ironic,
seeing as you're the one with
the job.

W-What does ironic mean?

It means how come the guy
with the job never buys piss?

Cos I'm on a budget.
A what?

A budget — it's where you
decide what you'll spend—

I know what a budget is.

This is her, isn't it? Yugo bitch.

That's my girlfriend
you're talking about.

Dump her. She's turning
you into a p*ssy.

Cos she takes care of my money?
Yeah.

She does it so she can
pay the bills, Munter.

And... I get an allowance.

Ooh! An allowance (!)

Yeah, and a blowjob every morning,
which is more than you get.

Which morning did she bite your d*ck
off cos you don't need it any more?

Hi, baby!

Hey.

Munter.
Draska.

So, which one of you's
gonna buy me a drink?

BOTH MOAN ECSTATICALLY

What?

Oh, choice.

Baby, what was going on
with Munter tonight?

Can we not talk about him right now?

Giggling every time I gave you money
for a drink — what was that about?

Nothing. Don't... stop.

If old man Hong paid you what you're
worth, we wouldn't need to be on
a budget.

Yeah, I know.

And this bed is way too small.
We need a new one.

Yep, whatever.

GROANS: Oh,... wicked.

I didn't hear you
come in last night.

It was a bit late.

Good night, was it?

It was all right.

Am I gonna read about
it in a magazine?

Maybe.

You know, love, I really used
to enjoy my weekly fix of those
magazines —

reading who's up who and whatnot.

It's a bit bloody different when
it's your own daughter there week
after week, pissed,

falling out of her dress, cavorting
around town with a married man.

Kind of takes the fun
out of it, you know?

Why are the headlines
always about him?

Oh, not true.

When your tit fell out of your top?
'Pascalle Pops Out for a Drink'?

They made me look like an old mole.

Your tit fell out of your top.

OK, don't mistake this for me
caring, but he's a w*nk*r having
a midlife crisis —

what's the attraction?

Getting what I want.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Oh God, I'll be there, all right?

His master's voice (!)

You look a bit rough
round the edges, Pascalle.

Cut the crap, Sandy.

You wanted a public laughing stock?
He's done everything short of waving
his d*ck.

What have you got for me?

Celebrities Ahoy.

(CHUCKLES) I wasn't born yesterday.

Honey, the publicity you've
generated in this country,
you are a celebrity.

You can make it happen?

Pack your bikini. You'll be
getting a call from the producers.

And Grant?

Grant is exactly where
I want him, thanks to you.

You OK?

Well, I'm the mother of NZ's biggest
trollop, but apart from that...

I meant the other thing.
What other thing?

Tell me it's bullshit.

What's bullshit?

The thing going around.

Yeah, going around where?

WHISPERS: That you informed
on Luther Wallace.

WHISPERS: What?

WHISPERS: What?!

You believe that shit?

It doesn't matter what I believe.

It does to me.

Well, Jesus Christ, Cheryl.

Since you changed the f*ckin' rules,
I don't know what's going on with
you.

The first I knew Luther dealt P
was when he was getting hauled off.

But you were there.
Yeah, I was.

Why?! I was getting some
money back. It's a long story.
Who told you I was there?

Oh, f*cking Murray.

You talked to Judd.

Yeah, well, that's how I inform on
people — in full view so everyone
knows it was me (!)

I'm just telling you
what's going around—

Nah. I was there.

I talked to Judd 'cause he
talked to me. End of story.

Yeah, well, maybe not.

I wouldn't do that shit. f*ck,
I never would, no matter what
the rules are.

Can you make sure every
bastard in here knows that?

Jesus wept!

How's the, um, Leonard
party order coming along?

Just the black satin Beyonce
peek-a-boo baby-dolls to do.

Good. Good.

And Kase, why is your useless
boyfriend spreading the word that
I narked on Luther Wallace?

No, he's not. He's looking at going
back inside for a real long time.

Because he got caught in the middle
of a f*cking drug bust while on
parole, not because of me.

So, where'd the money come from?
What?

The money that Murray dropped in the
drug deal. How'd you get it back?

Oh yeah. I got it off Luther.

Murray says you never saw
Luther before he got arrested.

I didn't have to.

Word went out and
the money came back.

And tell Murray to stop spreading
that shit before I break into the
f*ckin' prison and deal to him.

She didn't even know Luther was a P
dealer when she asked me about him.

Asked you about what?

Where he was.
Why?

I dunno. She wanted to find him.

Yeah, but why?

Something about getting
some money back or something.

And did she get the money back?

Yep, I think so.

Oh, no, Dad. Dad, she wouldn't.

I know.

BANG!

I f*ckin' can't stand this!

This f*ckin' piss-stinking place.
I'm no f*ckin' good here to anyone.

Corky's working on the appeal.

Corky...

is doing sweet FA, because nobody
is paying Corky to do anything else.

(SIGHS)

I grew up around here.

Yes, I know.

Over in Buchanan St.

Mm. I saw the documentary
about your life.

So, you make lingerie for a living?

Yep.

How's your wife?

Oh, it's kinda over.
Kinda?

It is.

I assure you, Mrs West, my
intentions towards your daughter—

Yes, I've seen your intentions.

As long as you know what
happens if you hurt her.

Mum!

I wouldn't dream of
hurting Pascalle. I love her.

Oh, for God's sake.

Are you the guy off TV?

Yes, I am.

Can we just go?

She's turned my life around.

Can I get your autograph for Mum?

[ VAN: Munter, leave him alone, man.

Maybe another time.
Yeah, 'kin-oath.

Come on.

It's the guy from, um— off TV.

Shut up. Come on.

Sit down.

OK, so there's this alley, right? At
the back of the Lucky Dollar store.

And down from that, there's a
money-lending place— What are
you doing?

Sorry. Sorry. Sorry—

I'm telling you something important.

Sorry.

Alley out the back of the Lucky
Dollar store. A few doors down,
money-lending place.

Now, this Tongan guy runs it.

Every Friday, his mum parks
her car in the alley, right?

Get it towed. (SNIFFS)

What?
Get it towed if it's in the alley.

Shut up and listen, man.

OK, so she parks
her car in the alley.

A wee while later, she comes
out with a bag of cash.

She puts it in the boot?
I reckon they're too
cheap to hire security.

Guess what they do next.
The bank?

Nuh.

Hungry?

So the money's in the boot and then
they go to the cafe for a cuppa?

I've watched for weeks.
Every Friday, the same.

The money's in the boot.

For minutes, at least.

And it's a sh*thole car, man.
There's no alarm. It'll be real easy
to hot-wire.

How much money you reckon?

I dunno. A couple of grand
at least. It's not a small bag.

Are you suggesting that
me and you do this job?

Yep. Well, Dad needs money for his
appeal, and I've been going mental
knowing the money's sitting there.

So how about it?

- split, like always.

Welcome back, bro.
Yeah?

Yeah.

KNOCK ON DOOR, DOGS BARK

Jesus, what are you doing here?

I need to tell you something.
No, you don't.

Yes, I do.
There's a bunch of people saying—

They're saying I gave up Luther
to you bastards. I know.

I'm doing my best to fix that.

What about turning up at my house?

I'm here cos I'm worried about you.

Well, thanks. If you want to go back
and beat the crap out of Murray, you
have my blessing.

It's kinda gone beyond Murray now.
I know that.

There's some loose cannons around,
and they're taking it seriously.

But they know me.

They know I wouldn't.

Maybe, once upon a time.

There's some people that can't get
their head around your change of
lifestyle,

and if you're not with them,
then maybe you're against them.

Yeah. I met someone like that today.

(SIGHS) They ain't gonna
protect you any more.

Yeah, I know.

Anyway, you turning up
here's not helping.

I'm doing what I can.

Thanks.

Loretta, wake up.

What?

SLURS: I can't do it any more.
OK.

I've hit the wall.

Good. It saves me hitting you.

He can't even get it up any more.
All he talks about is how shit his
life is.

And yet he loves me, so how does
that work? Cos his life is shit.

Wake up!

Sandy has got me a job
on Celebrities Ahoy.

Wow.
I'm a celebrity now.

They'll send you off to a tropical
island with only cameras to
record every bowel motion. Yay (!)

(GIGGLES) So I'm a celebrity now.

And that means... I don't need Grant
any more, cos I'm a celebrity now.

He can get screwed. (GIGGLES)

You can't sleep here.

Pascalle.
(GRUNTS, SQUEALS)

I hate this bed.

Hello?

You already said that,
so buy another one.

Yeah?

Yeah. Why not?

OK, someone's a happy
boy this morning.

Ooh, yeah.

Yeah, copy that, Rubber
Ducky. Come on... back.

Mate, are you gonna shut the
f*ck up and take this seriously?

Sorry, man. Sorry, bro.

This is our means of
communication, all right?

You've got it planned.

This is important to me, bro.

Yeah. Yeah, I know.

Good.

OK, so I need an alibi, right?

So while you're stealing the car,
I've gotta be seen on the video
surveillance camera.

What about when the cops see you
talking on the walkie-talkie there?

The cops won't see me talking.

Cos look, watch this.

Look.

Check, one, two.

Check, one, two.

Sweet as!

Eh? So I can coordinate everything
from here while you do the business.

Yeah, copy that. Over.

Hey, how's your mum? Over.

What do you mean?

Is she OK?

Dude, I'm right here. You don't
need to talk into the walkie-talkie.

Yeah, copy that. Over.

Cos, uh, everyone's been arguing
down at the pub about whether she
shopped Luther.

Sonny Weepu reckons she might have,
if she was on the bones of her arse.

But Dane Harris reckons
no way, not even.

Ended up, Sonny smacked Dane right
in the mouth. It was a good fight—

Hey.

She didn't. She wouldn't.

Yeah, I know. I know.
So who won the fight?

Oh, Sonny. Hit Dane with one
of those tae-kwon-do kicks.

Eh?
Yeah, wasted him.

Was it as good as this?

BOTH LAUGH

Thanks, bro. Nice ring.
Hey, give it back, Munt!

Shit!
Sorry.

(PANTS)

f*ck. You scared the crap out of me.

Pascalle said you'd
probably be in here.

Wolf send you?

No. Not really.

Well, you know. He thought I might
like to just check in on you.

He's all heart.

Just in case, you know—

In case what, Eric?

In case I go dob someone else in?
In case I go f*ckin' mental?
No one thinks you're going—

God, I'm so tired of trying to
explain to him why I'm doing this.

Doesn't he realise
I'm the same person?

Well, I think it's just, you know,
with him in there, he doesn't know
what you're up to out here.

You mean he can't control me.

No, I don't— Oh, look,
I don't f*ckin' know.

It's just he asked me to have
a look in on you, that's all.

If worst comes to worst,

I'll just start
a rumour saying it was you.

(CHUCKLES)

You wouldn't, though, would you?

I don't know, Eric. Apparently I'm
a completely different person now.

VACUUM CLEANER DRONES

You don't live here.

What?

You don't live here.
You don't have to vacuum.

Um... Hey, um, do you
think Van loves me?

Sure, totally.

How do you know?

(SIGHS) He let you
move in here, didn't he?

Name one guy who would say no to
getting a blowjob every morning.

True.
I really wanna know if he loves me.

Ask him, not me.

I try not to go anywhere near
Van's life if I can help it.

Who does he have?

Munter, if you count him.

CELLPHONE RINGS

f*ck.

Hi.

I thought you were working today.

I decided not to go in.

You're the boss.

You wanna go to the
vineyard and get pissed?

Don't you wanna rest for a day?

I like getting pissed
with you. We have fun.

Except when those photographers turn
up. That bitch has spies everywhere.

Yeah, it's heaps of fun, especially
when you whine about Sandy (!)

Oh, hey, I'm sorry, babe.

I promise I won't. We can go to
the Piha house, just you and me.

I don't wanna go to Piha.

Whatever you want.
OK.

You do what you want and I'll do
what I want. That's what I want.

OK.

There's the art gallery thing later—

Grant, you're not getting it.

I don't want to do anything
with you, not tonight, not ever.

You're dumping me?

I'm trying to be nice about it,
but you're not making it easy.

Why?

I dunno. You're just not.

No, why are you dumping me?

(SIGHS) It's just time, Grant.

But I love you.
No, you don't.

Yes, I do.
No, you love screwing me.

You love that I look good on your
arm when you're out and you love
that I'm not your wife.

See you in the magazines, eh?

Pascalle!

Pascalle, no!

For God's sake, get over it!

Are you going out tonight?
Nope.

So I won't read about your...
(WHISTLES) hanging out?

It's not like I'm Paris Hilton.
Yet.

Jesus, you haven't
made a video, have you?

Mum! I have limits.

Good. Good.

Anyway, the lighting in those
things is really not flattering.
What can I do?

Potatoes in there. I hope there's
enough. I hadn't quite planned for
such a turnout.

Any more, it'd be the Last Supper.

Maybe it is, Ted.

Hey, don't joke about it. ]

Dad says there's a bounty on you.

A what?
How much?

Loretta. ]
What?

It's a fair question.

There's no bounty on my head.

Of all the stu— Jesus.

He was at the Last Supper too.

Who was? ]

Ended well for him, as I recall (!)

All we're saying, Mum, is
to be careful, at least until—

I will not be held hostage by
a rumour, especially one that's
not true.

SMASH!

f*cking hell!

CAR SPEEDS OFF

Are you all right?
Loretta, don't touch it.

Loretta, get the f*ck away from it!

Thank God it didn't go off.

Loretta, no!

f*ck it.

LEATHER JACKET CREAKS

Someone...

is sending a message.

Cheryl West sleeps with the gnomes.

What?

Ignore her.

Obscure film reference.

Since when is The Godfather
obscure? Heathens.

What the f*ck are Eric
and Munter doing here?

Van called them.

To do what, precisely?
Protect you, I guess.

What, those two?

BOTH CHUCKLE, LAUGH

All I'm saying is what kind of
message are you sending by nicking a
gnome, hiffing it through our window

and then legging it?

It is not an unreasonable question.

OK, everyone who doesn't
actually live here, piss off.

They're staying, Mum.

I really don't need a houseful
of people to look after me.

What about my car?
What about this?

Well, that's f*cking terrifying,
Van, but I think I can cope (!)

Nah. No way.
Excuse me?

Look, you wanna stick your
f*ckin' head up your arse, you—

There are people out there, Mum.
Serious people. You know what
they're like.

Or maybe you've forgotten, but if
they think you've dobbed in on one
of them,

well, I reckon we should
take this seriously.

As much as I hate to agree with him.

Serious f*ckin' crims don't throw
garden gnomes through windows.

Why can't you just f*ckin'
listen to me for a change?!

I f*ckin' love you and I'm
trying to take care of you.

Why can't you just do what I say?

Sure, Van.

Good.

OK, so we'll take it in shifts,
right? Two on guard, two off —
four-hour shifts.

Eric, Grandpa, you guys are on the
first shift. Me and Munter will come
next.

Right, any questions?

Got any porn?

I mean, these guys are major
P-heads, so logic doesn't really
apply.

Which means that, miraculously,
Van might actually be right.

I know.

It's just right now I feel like
the sane person stuck in the asylum.

Welcome to my last years.

Go to bed, love.

Goodnight.
See you in the morning.

DOOR CLOSES ]

Is this gonna f*ck up tomorrow?

No way, man. We're right on target.

You sure?
For sure I'm sure, man.

Cool.
We're back, bro.

Cool, like we never left.

What are you guys doing?

Uh, just talking, figuring shit out.

Just asking.
Cool.

WOMAN MOANS ORGASMICALLY ON TV

Rita could do that,
standing on her head.

On her head?

Yep.

Impressive.

It was.

(MOUTHS)

CAR ALARM BLIPS

ENGINE STARTS

KNOCK ON DOOR

Who is it?

↑ Police. Open up.

You were just passing, right?

Yeah, good policework.

That and I was sitting outside
your house when you drove off.

Why?
I'm looking out for you.

Why?
Why?

Yeah. Why?
Cos... Cos you're in danger.

More like you're in danger for
disturbing my peace and quiet.

That's a chance I'm willing to take.

Well, thank you, Sergeant Judd...
and the NZ police force for offering
such care and consideration,

but I'm actually doing all right.

Yeah, right, well, it's...

It's not them, it's just me.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Can you excuse me for a minute?

Sure.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Would you like a drink?

WOMAN MOANS ORGASMICALLY ON TV

It was ringing and then it stopped.

It's not good.

WOMAN MOANS ON TV

Oh, look, you guys give
brain death a bad name.

They kidnapped her in her own car
after packing a suitcase full of her
own clothes,

and none of us heard
her scream for help (!)

Goodnight.

ORGASMIC MOANING CONTINUES

Bad forward planning. You're
just about to run out of Coke.

I wasn't expecting company, was I?

Um...

So, are you planning on
protecting me all night?

I am.

What have I done to deserve this?

You won't like it.

Go on.

Well, first I started
respecting you—

Ooh.
Yeah, mistake number one.

...when I realised you weren't
bullshitting about going straight.

[ Then I started admiring you
for sticking to your g*ns.

[ And so on, and so on, and so on.

[ Well, you know, I admit it.

I started to like you.

[ And so on, and so on, and so on.

And so on.

If you want me to go...

out into my really uncomfortable
car, you say the word.

OK. Bugger off.

(LAUGHS)

I've gotta go to work.

(SIGHS)

(EXHALES)

Regrets?
A few.

Really?

Yeah.

You'd better stop that, then.

Why?

It could lead to places.

Hope so.

There's not many regrets, then?

Nah.

(CHUCKLES)
(GIGGLES)

What are you so pleased about?

I just bagged me the
head of a crime family.

Ex-crime family,
thank you very much.

There's a joker here to see you.

Oh.

I came to say sorry.

What for?
Last night.

We didn't do anything last night.

The garden gnome.

That was you?!

Who else would it have been?

OK.

After you dumped me, I, uh...

This is a private conversation.

I thought you were great on
Celebrity Ballroom Dancing.

CHUCKLES: f*ck off, Eric.

OK.

After you dumped me, I, uh, went to
a restaurant and got really drunk.

I started doing coke in the toilets
with people I didn't even know,
which got me even angrier, so I...

grabbed a bottle of cognac
and drove out here.

What's your point?

I love you.

(CHUCKLES)

Look, sorry if I was too polite
before, but the only person you love
on this planet is you, not me,

so get the f*ck over it
and leave me alone.

But I want you back.
It's not gonna happen.

I don't understand what changed.

I did.

I got what I want from you
and now I'm setting you free.

See ya.

Bye.

You all right in there, bro?

Sweet as.

OK, wait for my signal.

A-Team in position.

Shut up, dickhead.

Assuming radio silence. Over.

OK, can you hear me?

Repeat, can you hear me? Over.

I thought— I thought we
were in radio silence.

I just wanted to see if it
works at this range, you knob.

No probs. A-Team out.

Good.

Big Mama has landed. Repeat,...

RADIO BREAKS UP

What? What was that? Over?

RADIO BREAKS UP

What?

Big Mama is in the house.

What? Over.

Van, what?

Mama Bear and Little Bear have left
the building. Repeat, Big Mama has
left the building.

STATIC HISSES

DOORBELL DINGS

We need to talk.
Uh, yeah, I'm kinda in
the middle of something—

And we're in the middle of the rest
of our lives and we need to sort it
out right now.

I can't leave the store, Draska, OK?

Yeah, but you can leave me, right?
What?

Van, is it all clear?
Repeat, is it all clear? Over.

STATIC CRACKLES

Van.

Piece of shit.

I know what you and Munter have
talked about — he hates me and
I know what he's doing.

ENGINE COUGHS
f*ck.

Munter is not trying to
drive a wedge between us, OK?

So why do you act so weird

every single time that I walk in?

We don't.

If you wanna dump me, you should
just go ahead and do it, OK?

You're just saying that.
No, I'm not. I don't wanna dump you.

Do you love me?
What?!

It's not a difficult question,
Van. Do you love me?

What are you doing in here?

Oh, the car wouldn't start.

Munter!

Shit!
Where did you get all those?

The boot.
Are you guys stealing something?

We were until f*ck-knuckle here—

Not my fault her car's shit.

OK, Van, put those
into a rubbish bin.

What?

Now! You'll bring those with me.
I've got a car parked outside. Van,
get the tape out of that thing.

Yeah.
Just destroy it — the tape
or the recorder, whatever.

How? Pee in it if you have
to. If the cops come, you
were at lunch with me.

OK.
We'll sort the details later.

OK.

What details?

See you at home, baby.

Yep.

Uhh...

Video.

Wow.
Yeah, I know.

A real, proper TV celebrity chucked
a garden gnome through our window,
out of love for me. So cool.

If you say so.

And now I'm free.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Hi, Xena.
Hi, this is Xena
from Stratosphere.

I know, Xena.

I just wanted to call
and tell you the bad news.

What bad news?

Yeah, I'll be there.

I don't know. I'll be there. Soon.

AMERICAN ACCENT: Crime never sleeps.

Yeah.

Luckily, I have an alibi.

(CHUCKLES)

You should stay here.

In case the bad men come?

That should be sorted by now.

How?
I dunno. Word would have got around.

What word?

Doesn't matter.

The reason I want
you to stay is cos...

I wanna come back.

Is that so?

Yeah, that's so.

See you later.

[ DOOR CLOSES

So a robbery takes place in an alley
out back and you know nothing about
it.

Yeah, well, not every crime in
West Auckland is done by me, Glen.

I wasn't asking about every crime.

First I heard about it, I took the
rubbish out and there's cops there.

Where were you this morning?

Right here. Where were you guys?

Got any video surveillance of that?

Uh, no, it's kinda broken.

Really?
Yeah, got some stuff spilled in it.

Oh, yeah, my girlfriend — we went
out to lunch. She'll tell you that.

Girlfriends do that.

Especially when
grand goes missing.

grand?

All the takings from
Mr Sevele's money shops.

Yeah, well, her name's
Draska Doslic. You can ask her.

We will, Van.

Come on, let's go.

We'll be seeing you, Van.

(GIGGLES MANIACALLY)

f*ck.

Unh! Can you feel it?
Can you feel it?

Hello, sweetie.
Stick it up your arse. You got me
cut from Stratosphere's books.

Yes, I did, sorry.
Why?

I throw business their way. How can
I do that when the slut who stole my
husband is on the books?

I did not steal him.
You threw him at me.

And you threw him back how I wanted
him. Grant and I are back together.

Thank you for crushing his
spirit and making him obedient.

You're much cheaper than a divorce
lawyer. Actually, you're just cheap.

What about Celebrities Ahoy?

Grant's captaining the boys and
turns out I'm captaining the girls.

The producers did want you for
a you-and-me catfight in a bikini,

but Grant didn't feel
emotionally up to it,

so sorry, I guess you'll just have
to f*ck off back to the suburbs,
white trash.

Oh! (SHRIEKS)

(GROANS)

Cheryl?

So, where did you stay last night?

A motel.

Next time you run away, can
you please take me with you?

Sure.
Hey.

PASCALLE: It's in your room.

What is?
You'll see.

Sweet.

(CHUCKLES)

Whoa, whoa, what's this?

It's our alibi.
Eh?

We were out buying today — %
deposit, interest-free for months

from my cousin's store. He'll say we
were both there. Do you wanna try it
out?

What about the money?
It's safe.

Yeah, but where is it?

It's best I don't tell you so you
can answer honestly when questioned.

They already did. There
was $ , in those bags.

$ , .

Oh shit, you didn't give
it to Munter, did you?

No. It's safe.

Yeah, cool.
Where is Munter?

Stop worrying about Munter and start
worrying about spending this money.

I was gonna give it to Corky
to pay for Dad's appeal.

Oh, that is so sweet.

It's just that if you start handing
out your money, the cops and your
mum will put things together.

Right.

But luckily, I've had
a really good idea.

Yeah?
How we can make the
money look like it's ours.

Cool.

Just as long as everyone thinks that
my relatives in Melbourne gave us
the money.

OK, and why would they think that?

Excuse me, everyone. We have
a little announcement we'd like
to make.

Yeah.

Yeah. Um...

Me and Draska,
we're getting married.

SMASH!

I know. I told my parents
and they're really thrilled.

My relatives in Melbourne are so
thrilled, they've even offered to
pay for the wedding.

(GIGGLES)