02x04 - This Two-Fold Force

[bunniefuu]

Look, this was years ago.

When Jethro was .

What do you want?
To never go to school.

Mum, did I mention how Caroline and
I have started seeing each other.

Ew. Didn't you use to teach him?

I put all your stuff I could find
in here, and anything else I'll give
to Loretta.

I'm sorry.
No, you're not.

Everybody's been busy.

And where have you been
for the last six months?

Well, I'm back now.

And isn't that great.

What will I be doing for
this charitable organisation?

I have something else in mind.

You think you're so much cleverer
than everyone else. This is your
lesson. Next time, do it better.

Your sister's party
is gonna be choice.
Forget about it—

Will she do the yardie,
even though she's a girl—?

Shut up, man. I'm on to something.

Since you been in the bog?
Yes.

See that guy over there?

He's munted.

He was in just the toilets going
on about how he's got this truck—

Oh, bro, he shouldn't be driving.

This truck, he was saying,
is full of 'Northland's finest'.

Kilos of it. All tails,
he reckons. Primo tails.

Tails?

It's gotta be code, man.
You know? Tails, opposite to—

BOTH: ...heads.

Right, right.

f*ck off.

Oh, excellent.

Mates don't let mates drive drunk.

And we don't let Northland's
finest go to waste.

Sweet as.

Open it up — see what we've got.

Hey, good cover.

Who would have thought a fridge
truck is full of Northland's finest.

Mate, come and check it out.

Nah, nah, I'll stay here
as a lookout. Is there heaps?

Heaps and heaps.
But there's no heads.
What?

There's tails, but.
Some of them have got bodies. ]

Argh!

(LAUGHS)

What the f*ck?

Northland's finest,
brother! Hee hoo!

You are not leaving.
Yes, I am.

No, you're bloody not!

When I'm , I can leave
school. You can't stop me.

You just watch me.

You left school when you were .

Well, I didn't have much choice
in the bloody matter, did I?

Mum left at .

Well, it was a whole
different world back then.

Oh, bullshit!

My parents needed me in the shop.

And you couldn't wait
to get the hell out of there!

I didn't have your brains.

I was and stealing coal off
the yards to feed my whole family.

You see? It is a family tradition.

No, this, this is
a family tradition.

Van left at .

You know we don't talk about that.

Pascalle left at .

And it's not as if
you've got her looks.

What is that supposed to mean?

What he means is we just want
you to make the best of yourself.

Exactly. ]
Since when did you two
start agreeing on anything?

We always agree on what's
important, don't we, love?

That's right.

Any more of this fuss,
and we'll cancel your party.

Please, make my day.

Loretta, you are not leaving school.

f*ck you!

She's got to have
a party. Tradition.

It is my right, my legal right to
leave school. You're meant to defend
people's legal rights.

Personally, I think you
should stay at school.

You know there's no point.

True, but it's worth it
just to see you suffer.

You're such a prick.

Cheer up, you've got your party.

Yay, more suffering and degradation.
And that disgusting thing with the
beer.

It's a rite of passage,
a fine West tradition.

The ceremonial yard, handed down
through generations, sealed with
the words...

There you are, boy.
Get that down you.

If you do it without hurling,
as I did, your destiny is assured.

Or not, as the case may be.

There you are, boy.
Get that down you.

And you reckon we'll
be able to shift them?

Bro, these things are like the gold
of the sea. They put the kai in
kaimoana, brother.

Make a few calls, they'll
be running out the door.

Choice.

And my dad, he's definitely in.

Choice, how many boxes?

No, I mean we should
give him a cut.

Why? He didn't do
nothing to steal them.

It's not what he's done,
it's what he's gonna do.

What is he gonna do?

Well, I dunno, but he's gotta
be up to something by now.

If I wanna be in, I gotta
show him I got the chops, man.

Bro, you got the chops.

You got the big meaty chops, man,
with sauce on top and chips.

Yeah. Yeah, but he doesn't see that.

If this is about you and
respect for your old man —

OK.

But his cut's not
coming out of my cut.

Finally!
Don't even start.

Unlike you, I have a life,
and I'm meeting him for dinner.

Thanks for the loo.
No problem.

You let that girl use the loo?

You want her to pee on the floor?

This is not a public convenience.

Who cares?
You do — you work here.

Not any more. I'm only doing this
until something better comes along.

And that is...?

Hayden.

Let me tell you,
a boyfriend is not a job.

Not at first, but if I don't
put the same amount of time in,

some ho will get him and then I'll
end up single and bitter like you.

But I'm paying— But I got the
manager to pay you to work here.

But I have Hayden.

[ I pay you in real money.

But I have Hayden.

Right. So if he's paying you,
what exactly does that make you?

Happy?

You are leaving me in the lurch!

You're leaving school next week.
Why don't you just get a job here?

Because they won't let me.

Who?

Our evil parents. They say
I have to finish the year.

(CHUCKLES)

What's so funny?

Why don't you do what the rest of us
did? Except Jethro, who's a suck-up.

What's that?

Get yourself expelled.

That's brilliant.
See, I'm not just
attractive and good in bed.

You know, sometimes she just—
she just doesn't seem quite normal.
How do you mean?

She's so secretive. She's got no
friends. She hardly ever goes out.

Ah, we'll sort it.
You think so?

Stick together, I know so.

How can she have a party
if she's got no friends?

We'll make it a good
one, don't worry.

Remember when we made her?

Mm-hm. First weekend away without
the kids, and I end up with another
one in the oven.

Oh, it was worth it, though.
Good wedding, excellent spread.

Tauranga. Cold Duck. No condoms.

You're blaming me?

Well, yeah.

Hey, I could have
held off, but you —

once you get started,
you're unstoppable.

(GROANS) Too much Cold Duck.

Was that what it was?
Mm-hm.

Are you sure?
Don't stop.

Yeah. It's like a perfect
score — and you're in.

That's generous of you,
but I don't see how I can help.

But you don't have to do anything.
You just take the cash.

All right. But don't say
anything to your mother.

No, no. 'Course not.

She's good to me, your mother.

Do I get any of that?

Breakfast.

Morning, you.

Morena.

You got something to say
to your mother and I?

I'm sorry that I
told you to get f*cked.

Ka kite.

Hey, party girl!

Hey, Dad, Mum.

Here you go. This should
cover the beers, few snarlers.

[ That's very generous of you.

Last of the th's, eh?

Still a hard act to follow
after ours, eh, bro?

We might have a few crays too,
thanks to the man here.

Yeah?

How many you got? I got
a client who owns a restaurant.

Nah, we're good.

I'll take the lot.

I said we're good. ]

Cash.

Nah.

What you do that for?

We're not cutting that w*nk*r in.

We weren't — he was gonna buy them.

We don't want his money.

Well, he's not that bad. He's buying
the beers for Loretta's th.

You know why? Cos he's a shit.

CELLPHONE BEEPS

OK.

All right, now we're cooking, man.

Loretta!

I don't know what you think you
were doing, but I can't ignore this.

Of course.

You will be on detention
for the rest of this week.

Detention?
You heard me.

What kind of lame-arse response
is that? Take a hard line here.

OK, two weeks!

What about expulsion?

We don't call it that any more.

I don't care what you call it.

Did you think you'd
get excluded for this?

If I got rid of every student who
played a prank, we'd have no one
left.

And as much as I'd love to
see the back of you, Loretta —
two weeks' detention.

Shit.

Cool. How many?

Two.
Two boxes?

Nah, two crays.

Oh.

Hey, bro?
What?

It's not very cold in here.
Come and check it out.
Nah, you do it.

Nah, I'm serious, man. I think
the refrigeration unit's stuffed.

Yeah, no, I believe you.

[ Well, it's not good,
cos they're gonna go off.
What, already?

Crays are like the
chicken of the sea.

You said they were
like the gold of the sea.

They're also chicken, because if
they go off, they make you hurl your
guts and squirt your ring.

We've only got hours to find
a way to keep these babies cold.

READS: It is no accident that
the first cultures arose in places
where the Aryan,

in his encounters with lower
peoples, subjugated them and bent
them to his will.

But when the Aryan started being
nice to them, it all went downhill.

Which is really worth
thinking about in NZ today.

Excuse me, Loretta.

What is this all about?

Well, Hitler's main thesis was that
some people are better than others —
and Jews are a problem.

Do you think this is amusing?

No. Hitler did shape quite a bit
of history, even if he was a nutbar.

You have offended your
classmates, and understandably,
Ms Hohepa-Weinstein.

I guess she could have issues.

Leave the premises right now.
You are stood down for the rest
of the day.

Stood down?
Your parents will receive a letter.

I stand in front of my class and
incite racial hatred and the best
you've got is 'stood down'?

Do you want to be excluded?

Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
Finally she catches on!

Yes. Today, preferably, please.

And I would love to grant your
little wish and never see you again,

but there is a procedure — notices,
board meetings, discussions with
parents, reasonable grounds.

Can't you be unreasonable?

The education system
doesn't work like that, Loretta.

It worked for the rest of my family.

Except Jethro, of course, who had
his own special reason to stay.

Different world.

Why can't it be
a different world now?

You're stood down, Loretta.

They're not all going to fit.

Nah, but if we put a couple in the
freezers of, like, everyone we know—

We would never be able
to keep track of them.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, birthday girl!

Shut up.

What is wrong with me?

My entire stupid family can
get expelled. Why can't I?

Hey, education's good.

Right up to where you get expelled —
then you taste freedom.

You got expelled?

I was smoking a joint
and a teacher caught me.

You were smoking it on
the bonnet of his car, man.

Called the cops.

Nothing illegal.
I don't want a record.

You could shag someone, or maybe
more than one, like your sister.

The water polo team. In the pool.

Ew. No way.

Hey! If you want out, you can't
slack around, OK? You gotta do the
hard yards.

Or you could be like your bro
and make a really big stink.

No one's ever actually
told me what you did.

It's like a big,
dark family secret. ]

Yeah, Mum's kind
of ashamed of it, eh.

I can live with that. What'd you do?

Crapped under the stage, before
assembly, in the middle of summer.

Man it was funny — all the teachers
sitting up there looking at each
other going, 'Did you just fart?'

BOTH LAUGH

Guess I shouldn't have tried
it again the next week.

Caught with his pants down. Out.

No, I can't do that.

That's Van's way, cos he can dump
on command. Respect. What you need
is your own way.

But most importantly, you need to
work out the obstacles in your path
and remove them.

That is really good advice.

I'm here for you.

Can we use the freezer
at the video shop?

No.

Let me get this straight. You jokers
want to borrow a couple of freezers?

Yeah. You got heaps down the shop.

And why should I lend freezers
when I could sell them?

Cos you got heaps.

But if I lent a freezer to everyone
who wanted a freezer, I wouldn't be
running a shop any more,

because I would be lending
things instead of selling them.

OK. Be like that.
Nah, hang on, hang on, hang on.

There might be a couple of models I
could let you have, at a reasonable
price.

If you let me know
what you need them for.

(TAPS KEYS)

PRINTER WHIRRS

There you go.

Hey guys, come and read this.

Here you go.

It's all true. ]

There you go.

These are all lies.

No, they're not. Only some of them.

I mean, how would I know about the
sporting coach and the Vegemite jar?

But I do know for a fact that
a certain teacher keeps vodka in
the stationery cupboard.

He is getting help for that.

And the one about the senior teacher
with a thing for underage pupils?

I think we both know that's true.

And tomorrow, I'll
start naming names.

And the day after that, more names.

And mud, in my
experience, does stick.

Look, I can't exclude you without
the necessary warnings and meetings.

You don't need to involve the board.

I turn in two days,
so I can legally leave.

You just put on the paperwork
that I left of my own free will.

Then why are you wasting my time?

Because I have a bigger obstacle —
one that needs to think I've been
excluded.

You can't expel her. She's
one of your brightest students.

No one is denying her intelligence.

She is also troubled, antisocial,
with possible psychotic tendencies.

I'll go to the board.

I can assure you, all the
appropriate steps have been taken.

This is bullshit.

I'm sure Loretta could still go far
in whatever educational journey she
undertakes. Just not here.

Is this about Jethro?

Are you getting at her
because he dumped you?

This has nothing to do with him.

It's about me doing
what's right for my school.

You snotty bitch.

This is a crappy school.
Come on. We're leaving.

This is so not over.

Oh, I think it is.

They're chest freezers.

Yeah, they gotta be big
to take all bastards, bro.

They're classics, these ones.

That's a lot of dosh, Hugh.

Quality models. A deal's a deal.

Eh? If you give us a box,
I'll knock off .

No way.

Would these be the ones I heard
about down the pub? From Northl—?

All right.
You can have a box in the truck.

Of course, he nicked them himself,
so he can't complain, but a pleasure
doing business with ya. (CHUCKLES)

Let's load 'em up.

FAINT VOICES PLAY
HIDE AND SEEK

Come on, bro. Get in there.
We've got food-hygiene issues here.

Don't.

What's your problem?
They're chest freezers.

So?

I said no.

Back when we were kids, me and
Jethro were around at our house,
when it used to be Grandma's.

And we were playing hide and seek.

I was, like, the best
hide-and-seeker in the world.

It was the one thing I was way
better than Jethro at. Anyway.

'Grandma had this big ol'
chest freezer downstairs.

'It was, like, the best
place to hide, man.

'No way was Jethro ever going to
find me in there, cos it was the one
place we weren't allowed to hide.'

↑ Ready or not, here I come.

'It was dark.

'It was real cold.

'And I couldn't breathe.

'I started getting scared, and I
couldn't open it. I must have
blacked out.'

I woke up in hospital.

They reckon I was oxygen-depraved.

D-Deprived.

They reckoned I could've
got brain damage.

But you're all right now.

Yeah, but I hate these things, man.

That's why I hate being cold.

It was a long time ago.

Bro, you've gotta face your fear,
otherwise it'll rule ya. Grab a box.
Nothing will happen. I can't.

You can!
I can't!

Look, if these don't go in there,
we've got nothing to sell, and your
old man doesn't get cut.

You want that? ]

Face your fear.

Now we're workin'!

Let's get the rest of those
bad boys in there. (LAUGHS)

(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

ANGRILY: Expelled?

Following in the family tradition.

That's it. Your party is off.

Oh, I'm weeping (!)

You get into your room and
you come out when you're !

You are not wasting
those brains of yours.

And what's your
educational best, Dad?

A few classes in the pokie?

YOU—!
No, no, no. Whoa.

You're too bloody soft on her.

What? This is my fault now?

She runs rings around you.

Oh, and who does she take
after, Wolf? It's not me.

Don't start. ]
She's as stubborn as you are

and as manipulative as your—

Don't start on my mother, OK?

Why don't we talk about your
family — Wacko Jeanette and Mandy
the Mauler?

Compared to your mother, Wolf,
they're a walk in the park.

I keep trying to tell him, she's
different to all of the others.

They've all had their teenage thing
— sex and drinking and driving
and dope and shoplifting —

but her...

I know... I know how she is.

I just don't understand her.

What?
Well, it's hard, being different.

We think it's great you're
so accepting of her.

Of what?

You don't know?

Know what?

Have you considered that Loretta's
batting for the other team?

What team?
Like... the netball girls?
Or rugby or tennis?

Or cricket. They're the worst.

She doesn't play sport.

Into girls, Cheryl.

You know? Licky-lickers?

Fanny-fiddlers?
(LAUGHS)

LAUGHS: Loretta? Jesus. No way.

Well, it's just so obvious,
we thought you knew.

Just gotta look at her.
[ Jeans, no makeup.

[ And she's never had a boyfriend.

She can't be.

Hey, they can still have normal,
happy lives. At least she's not
gonna get knocked up.

And some of them swing both ways.
You know? Twice the fun.

Once, I met this girl.
Well, Murray and I—

No, stop it. Stop it.

Look. I don't need to hear that.
If Loretta was... gay, I'd know
about it, right?

Of course you would.
Of course.

She'd tell ya, wouldn't she?

[ TV PLAYS

What are you doing?

Watching some shit.

Not any more, you're not.

What is all this crap?

Don't get your tits in a tangle.

How the hell did you get in here?

Pascalle gave me her key.

Bloody Pascalle.

She's all right, in a kinda trampy
Rachel Hunter-wannabe kinda way.

At least she doesn't
mind if I hang out here.

Cos her brain's only big enough
to think of scoring a penis that
says 'meal ticket'.

Whoa, angry.

Get out of here,
and take your crap with you.

I would, but I don't
have anywhere to go.

I got kicked outta home for
the stuff with my stepfather.

I'm sure it's really tragic,

but right now,
I want my office back.

I could sleep out here.

No, that would just encourage you.

Pascalle would let me!

If you want someone to solve your
problems, talk to WINZ or CYPS or
some other set of initials.

Get a benefit or a foster home
or go sleep under a bridge.

You are such a bitch.

I just think that being young
and female is no excuse for being
a victim.

You think so (?)
Oh, I know so.

Out!

TV PLAYS

If you're looking for Loretta,
she snuck out — God knows where.

You want a beer?

Yeah, all right.

She does more than a bit of your
mother in her, so you might need
a firm hand.

Rita liked a firm hand.

But you can't cramp her style. Those
wily ways can have their advantages.

[ That right, Dad?

I remember my th.

Rita wanted to make
it extra special.

Yeah, she got you that yard glass.

Just the icing on
the cake, so to speak.

Rita wanted to stay overnight on me
birthday — give me all of herself.

It'd only been heavy petting up
until then. (CACKLES) My old mother
wasn't having any of that.

So Rita, she invited
her friend Pat along.

Share a room. Girlfriends.

Cunning.
[ Has its advantages, like I say.

'Course, I snuck in there late
at night, and me and Rita and Pat,
we had a great old time! (CACKLES)

Quite a girl, Pat. She and
Rita got up to all sorts.

She used to stay over.

When I was away.

It was nice for Rita — girls
together — and she was a dab hand
with a bat, old Pat.

Bloody good cricketer! (CACKLES)

One last time.

Yeah.

Argh!

LAUGHS: Hey, hey, hey. Sorry.
Sorry, bro. I didn't mean it.

w*nk*r.
Hey, but you did it.

Yeah, I guess.

Celebration, bro?

(CHUCKLES) Yeah, why not?

(GROANS) Here's a fame and fortune.

Well, maybe not fame, but
the respect of your old man.

CROAKS: Sure.

And money.

That's what I said — fortune.

I thought fortune
was like good luck.

Well, it is. It's both.

See, we had good fortune with the
truck, and now we'll make a fortune.

Choice.

Should be enough to buy your
sister a birthday present, too.

Oh yeah, yeah. Yeah, maybe.

CELLPHONE BEEPS

Heh heh. The word is out.

Our goods are in demand, and they
will come. Oh yes, they will come.

(LAUGHS, COUGHS)

You know, I try my best with her.

But being number four, maybe...
maybe she just... maybe I didn't get
to spend as much time with her.

You did a great job with Loretta.

I don't think she had the same
role model as everyone else.

You are an outstanding mother.

Best there is.

You think I'm soft.

It's a mother's job.

Just like it's a father's
job to be tough.

Good cop, bad cop.

(CHUCKLES)

So here's what we do. You keep doing
what you do and I'll find a way to
bring that girl into line.

OK.

Oh, shit.

[ Morning, gorgeous.
Hi.

I was thinking. We haven't really
got your birthday present yet.
So? ]

Well, you are kinda
difficult to buy for.
Not really.

I thought we could go together.
Now?

Well, when you're up. We'll go
shopping — girly shopping. Together.
Come on, it'll be fun.

Come on. Let's have a look at you.

Oh, you look great.

Doesn't she look great?

It would help if she stopped
slouching, for a start.

I do not look great.
I look like her.

You wish.

How can you afford to shop when
you don't actually have a job?

I get money.
From lying on your back.

Stop it. You look lovely.

What is wrong with what
you usually look like?

Fashion vacuum or diesel d*ke?

Look, you have a beautiful face,
a great figure. You've just gotta
make more of it.

So I can get some tragic guy?
No.

I don't need a man
to feel worthwhile.
Nobody's—

Mum, I am who I am, and I'm not
going to change, so please just get
used to it.

CHA-CHING!

Whee!

Bro, come check this out.

Why?

I'm not going to do anything.

(CHUCKLES UNEASILY)

One box. It's the last
one. Told you — gold.

Wicked.

Hey, I want to keep this
one for Loretta's party.

OK, sweet as.

Hey, um, just one thing, though.

What?

Well, it's not real frosty in there.

So?

Well, Mum's freezer has got
all this ice and shit in it.

Yeah, we just turned these on, and
they may be defrost-free freezers.

Yeah, you're right.

Hayden is gonna die
when he sees this one.

What'd you get?

Some jeans and a new DVD burner.
These are from us.

We'll wrap them up,
you can act surprised.

I can do surprised.

Good. I've got another one for you.

Hey, I hardly got any
presents on my th.

I've found a new school for you
to attend — St Mary Ignatius.

You're kidding, right?

I would never kid about anything
as important as my kids' education.

But it's a private school.
Nothing but the best.

It's a Catholic girls' school.

They're all sluts and dykes.

It has an excellent reputation, and
they teach that film stuff you're so
interested in. You start Monday.

No f*cking way.

Don't you use that language with me.

Tough shit. I'm not going
to that f*cking school.

You will attend as of Monday or you
will find my boot so far up your bum
it'll poke out your throat.

I'll leave home. I have rights.

No, you're my daughter,

and if you don't go there,
I'll send you to the Wairarapa.

You'd send me to Masterton?

In a heartbeat.
To Jeanette's?

Yeah. I spoke with her today.

But she doesn't speak to Mum

and she thinks you're
the demon spawn of Satan.

She was very understanding

and happy to take you on to the farm
— for some wholesome lifestyle.

They're Exclusive Brethren.

They're a bit on the strict side.

Uncle Kees has three
leather straps and a cane.

I told them you'd submit
to whatever was necessary. ]
No way.

Even if it means breaking my parole,
I will put you in a car and drag you
down there myself.

Mum, you can't let him.

It's nice and quiet down there.

It is Witness

without Harrison Ford to rescue me.

I think your father has your
best interests at heart.

I'd rather live under a bridge.

I'd find you under that bridge.

And I'd drag you back.

And you know I would.

So what's it gonna be?

St Mary Ignatius or the Wairarapa?

Excellent. This is so excellent.

I picked them up.

The returns.

How the hell did you get in there?

Made a copy of the key
Pascalle gave me.

Those have to go
through the computer.

I did that.

Does no one in this entire
world listen to a thing I say?

If you weren't a cow, they might.

EMOTIONALLY: Look, I am getting
enough shit from my family without
you joining in.

Shit.

WHISPERS: Shit. (BREATHES DEEPLY)

What did they do to you?

They want to make me
go to a private school.

What's so bad about that?

A school with nuns.

So?

You'll get qualifications.

NCEA? Please.

You have a job, a house, parents
to pay for stuff and you're
complaining.

Leave me alone and
go and get a benefit.

I've already got two.

Three might be pushing it.

It's called working the system.

So why are you here annoying
me instead of off buying P or
something?

P is for losers.

I don't get why you put k*ll
Bill Volume II in Recommended.

Because it rents.

Don't you like Tarantino?

Overrated.
True.

Stylish, but derivative.

What movies would you recommend?

Welcome to the Dollhouse,
Donnie Darko, Les Diaboliques.

Remake?
Original.

Although Isabella Adjani
is gorgeous in the remake.

Looks a bit like you, actually.

Do you think that flattery
gets you everywhere?

Depends on what you want.

What do you want?

I want you to spell
Diaboliques for me.

Why?

Can't you do it yourself?

I want you to do it.

Well.

You put your lips together
and you start with a D...

Man, we made heaps.

Ah, you owe me for
the freezers, bro.

Oh yeah.

Here you go.
Sweet.

And this is for my dad.

That leaves you with like bucks.
So?

Well, it's not much
for all the work. ]

I know, but I want Dad to know
that I did real good for him.

I'm not chipping in.
No worries.

I know you've been through
shit, but this is my dosh.

I know.

(CHUCKLES) Oh, mate.

Your dad better be
blimmin' grateful.

I might go check out
St Mary Ignatius today.

You will?

For real?

I knew you'd see sense in the end.

But if I start and singing Climb
Every Mountain, blame yourselves.

Why did you change your mind?

Beats Wairarapa, I guess.

I don't buy that for a second.

OK. A friend made me realise that
I have a lot to be thankful for.

You have a friend?

Yeah. I might invite
her to my party.

Her?
If my party's still on?

Of course it bloody is.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS, VAN HORN BEEPS

West side!

Crayfish!
Crayfish! Oh, you sweetie.

Yeah.
Whoo! Ah, hon, who sold you these?
They're a wee bit whiffy.

They got warm in the car.

I'll put these aside for later.

OK. (GROWLS)

(LAUGHS)

You can't be too
careful with seafood.

Catholic school?

It's very well equipped.

You don't know about religion.

I've seen The Exorcist.

Hey, why is that homeless girl here?

Oh, she's my friend.

I thought you hated her.

I just got to know her better.

Hey.

Hi.

Do you want a drink?

Yep.

Hey.

Loretta's friend.

Oh, really? ]

They are so cute. ]

In a baby-bulldyke kinda way.

You are handling this so well.

Cos if you don't,

they turn into prostitutes
and drug dealers.

Or tennis players.

God, they are so on!

So that's Van?

No, that's Jethro, with the smarmy
'I've got something up my butt'
look.

Yeah, he does have that look.

Mm.
Van will be with Munter.

CELLPHONE BEEPS

Ah, that's weird. Usually
they're surgically joined.

Ooh, hey, come on.

You did all right.

Piece of piss, eh.

Yeah, so if you've got
anything going on—

What makes you think that?

I dunno. Nothing. I just...

I mean, if you did,
I could help you, maybe.

I'll keep it in mind.

What a lovely family moment.

Shut up, Eric.

Oh yeah, yeah, those
crays, eh? Excellent.

Oh yeah?
Got 'em out this afternoon.
Had a real old pig-out.

Choice. Hey, um...

Mm. You can buy those freezers
back now, if you want.

Why?

Cos we don't need them any more.

I mean why would I wanna buy them?

Because they're quality models.

They work? I was gonna
send 'em up the tip.

CELLPHONE BEEPS

Bro, wait.

I've been getting some text, bro.
Some of the punters not too happy.

Yeah, me too.

I reckon stay away from
the pub for about two weeks.

Yeah, I reckon. Mate, funnel.

Time go get on with it.
Where's that girl got to?

Licky-licky-licky.

BOTH LAUGH

Hey. I thought you
fled your own party.

Give it time.

Birthday presents — two six-packs,
one Jack Daniels, two bottles of
Jim Beam and a tequila.

If I don't hide them,
they'll drink them.

The th thing is a big deal here.

In my family, we celebrate early,
cos there's a high chance of not
making it to .

Dead?
Usually just in prison. ]

(LAUGHS)

Where's your shadow?
Bathroom. Some make-up crisis.

Got yourself a winner there (!)

Yeah, gorgeous, and holds her liquor
better than any guy I've ever met.

What more could a man want?

Seriously shallow. You two
are meant to be together.

What's that?

Oh, in some cultures, that is
commonly known as a birthday
present.

You... bought me a present?

If you've already got it, I can
exchange it for a bottle of tequila.

No.

It's great.

Loretta?

Oh, there you are.

With Hayden.

Great.

Your presence is required.

Oh shit, it's time.

On my th, everyone thought I would
chuck, so I fooled them all and
hurled before I drank it.

Clever.
Yeah.

A -year-old girl is
meant to drink all that?

It's tradition.

You people are barbaric.

And with this yard, we give
you the luck of the Wests.

ALL CHEER

There you are, boy.
Get that down ya.

ALL: Drink! Drink!

ALL CHANT

Come on, darling.

ALL CONTINUE CHANTING

ALL CHEER

Is she gonna?

Ah, she's so gonna.

(PUKES)
(SCREAMS)

ALL LAUGH

Don't you people know? I never hurl.

ALL CHEER

You've got the luck
of the Wests, all right.

She did it.

We did it.

Got a big future, that girl.

It's all right, Mum. You
don't need to come in with me.

You sure?
I'm not in primers.

OK. You have a good one.

OK.

CAR STARTS ]

Hey.

You ready?
Sure.

Remember, go to class, keep your
head down and keep me informed.

Remember — cash on Fridays and a
new mattress in the adult section.

As long as you keep
getting the grades.

My grades.
I will. Stop fretting.

See ya, Loretta.

Bye, Loretta.