02x12 - By a Brother's Hand

[bunniefuu]

Hey, Pascalle. I've found somewhere
new for your community service.

Oh.
It's an old folks home.
What?!

That's my future — surrounded by
hundreds and hundreds of old people.
I hate old people.

If you wanna f*ck me, then f*ck me.

Yeah, that could work.

(MOANS)

I've just become aware recently that
sometimes it's a really good idea to
grab life by the balls.

Get used to it.

(SCOFFS)

The best thing about Piha is the
black sand that keeps your butt
warm.

Nah. The best thing about Piha
is chicks in white bikinis. Come on.

Munter.
Your turn, bro.

Oh, uh, the best thing about Piha

is... if you're there,
you're not in jail.

Oh, Munt, you're gonna be OK.

Hey, check it out!

TYRES SQUEAL

THE DATSUNS'
'KICK AND A BANG' PLAYS

See, look — sweet deal.

But it's the same price, Van.

No, look. It's a stock clearance.

I think it's a joke, Van.

Yeah, maybe on the moron
running the store, Aurora.

Not really.

I'll get them.
Choice.

You don't have to.

You fullas got the gas. My shout.

Yeah.
(LAUGHS)

Oh, poor Munter.

Nah, don't worry about him.
He's getting a good deal.

No, I mean about the other thing.

Oh. Yeah.

Yeah, he's bummed
about that court case.

Yeah, must be really weird, eh, with
Judd staying at the house all the
time.

Van, look.

Hey, I'm a bit short. Can
you fullas lend me a tenner?

SOFT MUSIC PLAYS

Isn't that just the cutest
house you've ever seen?

Yeah, sure.

Hey, have you guys got
a tenner I can borrow?

We should have a look.
We can't.

Yeah, we can. Open home.

It means anyone can have a look.
Back in the old days, me and Dad
used to go to heaps of them.

But this time we'd
actually be looking.

[ (LAUGHS) But we can't afford it.

Doesn't stop us looking, eh?

HELLO SAILOR'S
'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Are you OK to talk to Munter?

Might as well add him to the list of
people who are pissed off with me.

I'm not pissed off with you.

I can't go.
Pascalle, you don't have
a choice in the matter.

The laws in this country are stupid.

Don't look at me. I didn't make 'em.

You've got a hundred hours
of community service to do.

Don't make me go to hell, please.

If you don't, some judge will put
you in jail with a bunch of
ferocious lesbians.

Oh, but I hate old people!

Grandpa's old. You like him.

Grandpa is flesh and blood.

The Janet Frame Retirement Home has
wrinkly, gross old people that I'm
not related to.

Well, too bad. I'll give you a lift.

No, cos I'll have to wait
for you to pick me up.

If I'm going to hell, I may as well
just be able to flee when I get the
chance.

Isn't it choice?

Yeah, we used to have a swing
just like this in our backyard...

till Loretta sold it to the
neighbour's kids, eh.

There's kaikuia in the lawn.

Gorgeous, isn't it? It faces west.
It's a real sun trap.

Did you hear that? It faces west.

(LAUGHS)
And this is the master
bedroom. Obviously.

First home, is it?

Uh, we're just sort of looking.

[ You'd better be quick. There's
been a lot of interest in it. It
just oozes potential, doesn't it?

(LAUGHS) Yeah.

Hey, check this out.

Hey, if we were sleeping in that
room, you know who we could put in
here, don't you?

(LAUGHS) Yeah. ]

Be a great room for a kid, eh? ]

I reckon. (GIGGLES) ]

Are you two gay?
What?

These are all romantic comedies.

They're Tracy's.
Yeah, she's moved in.

Oh, and you let her?

She's staying for a while. It's
cool. I like having her around.

So, is the prick still staying over?

Which prick?

Judd.

Oh, that prick. Mm.
Shocking, isn't it?

He's sitting at the table munching
toast like he owns the place.

Un-f*cking-believable.

Yep. Bet you that's
not all he's munching.

Mate, you're talking about my mum.

So, what are you doing about it?

Doing about it?

Yeah. He's got no right to be there.
You've gotta get rid of him.

Well, Grandpa's locked
himself in the caravan.

(SCOFFS) OK.

Jethro, what do you want us to do?
Refuse to eat at the same table?

Yeah, it's a good start.

Where else would we eat?

Loretta, it's wrong.

So?

So, if Dad came back and found Judd
in his f*cking bed, how would he
feel?

Sure, he'd deal with them. But what
would he think of his kids? Letting
that shit go on. He'd be gutted.

It's gotta stop.

OK. OK.

To be honest, I haven't actually
been home that much lately.

Why? What have you been doing?

Study and stuff.

Are you learning heaps?

It has its moments.

Yeah, look, the point is, when you
are there, don't make it easy for
him. All right?

Prick's got no right being there.

So, Jethro's OK with you moving in?

Well, I haven't actually moved
in per se. I'm just staying there.

Right.

Why? Do you have a problem?

No. No, no, no. God, no. Jethro
could do with a woman's touch.

Yeah, well, he's got me.

Speak of the devil. Tracy was
just bringing me up to date.

On what?
Her moving in.

Sort of.

Oh, yeah, well, it seems to be all
the rage these days, so why the f*ck
not?

Well, that's what he's
done, isn't it? Moved in?

Wayne stays, from time to time.

It's none of your business.

So, Dad's been gone two minutes—

And the rest.
...and some guy waltzes in...

A cop. That's your real problem.

...and take over your f*cking life.

No one takes over my life — not
Wayne, not Wolf and not you.

Was there a point to this visit?

It's a f*cking embarrassment, Mum.

All right, message
received. I've gotta go.

Sorry about that.

Sorry we didn't get
to the beach, man.

Oh, it's OK, bro.

I've never been to
an open home before.

Hey, Munt, you
believe in fate, right?

Yeah, I guess.

I'm gonna buy her that house, bro.
What?

But, um, don't tell her, OK? Cos
it's gonna be, like, a surprise.

What brought this on?

Fate, man.

Look, if those six-packs hadn't been
on special, we wouldn't have seen
the sign,

so we wouldn't have stopped. We
wouldn't have seen that house.

Yeah, but to buy a house,
don't you need, like, money?

But, I've got a bank account, right?

I've got $ , man.

That's not enough to
buy a house, Van.

Yeah, but next week I'll have $ .

I'm gonna get a mortgage,
bro. (CHORTLES)

I'm really happy for you, man.

Here we go.

Hey, I'm sorry we didn't get
to the beach today, Munt.

(SIGHS) Yeah.

I gotta go and see Jethro
about that thing.

Hey, thinking of you.

You'll be sweet, bro.
Fate'll take care of you, man.

Yeah, choice.

(GIGGLES)

POIGNANT MUSIC

CAR HORN TOOTS

HORN TOOTS

Hey, Munter!

Oh, hey, Mrs West.

Must be fate. I was thinking
about you, and there you are.

I'm pretty big on fate right now.

Hey, I need to ask a favour of you.

Sure, anything for you. What's up?

You know how things are
pretty different at home now?

Oh, with you shagging a cop and all?
Yeah.

That's your business, Mrs West,
and I'm cool with that.

Thanks, Munter. It's just that it's
your business as well, if you get my
drift.

Oh, you mean with Judd being the
arresting officer in my court case?

Yeah.
It's kind of awkward.
Can you see that?

Yeah, I guess.

So I was thinking it might be better
for everyone if you lay low for a
while.

Just until everything blows over.

Then I'll be locked up and you
won't have to worry about it.

Nah, that won't happen.

Yeah. Yeah, sure, no problem.

OK. Thanks, Munter.

So, there were car doors in your
van at the time you were arrested?

Yeah.

Why ? Well, car doors, they come
in even numbers, don't they? Apart
from hatchbacks, of course.

Oh, one of them had a ding in it.
It's not good resale value.

And there's a good market?

Yeah. I know a guy in Matamata who
shifts them to a guy in Tokoroa, who
passes them on to a guy in Taupo,

and then on to every second-hand
parts store in the North Island.

Wow. Organised crime, eh?

Yeah, until you get busted.

Mm. By Wayne Judd, no less.

You know, the HiAce is so chocker
that the rear axles are smoking,

and who's driving the cop car behind
me on the motorway? f*ck! f*ck, I'm
going down, eh, bro?

Well, on the evidence here...

Yeah, well, maybe prison ain't a bad
place to be right now. I'm a little
short on accommodation.

What do you mean? Our house
is your second home.

Yeah, well, it was my second home
until I lost my first. Then it
became my first, but not any more.

Since when?

Since your mum said I had to stay
clear — you know, until the case
blows over.

But it's cool, bro. I understand.
It's a conflict of interest.

Conflict of what interest?

Well, me and Judd, of course.

(SIGHS)

She can't do that.

Yes, she can.

WHISPERS: f*ck 'em.

f*ck them both. Munter, there is
no way you are going to prison for
this.

Really?

[ Mr Van?
GROWLS: What?

Lloyd Draper. Mobile Mortgages.

Oh.

Hey, man. Wow, you
guys are really fast, eh.

We're mobile. So, Mr Van...

Oh, nah, Mr West. Yeah. Van West.

West. Right.

(LAUGHS)

It's OK, Mrs West.

And you want a mortgage?

Yes, please, that
would be excellent.

Did you bring what I need?

Uh,... bank statement. Yep.

(GRUNTS)

The good news is, we lend
up to % of the house price.

And the bad news?

$ ?
Yeah.

You will need at least $ ,

in this account before we can even
consider a mortgage application.

, bucks?!

No. I've gotta move
quickly on this, man!

In your ads people walk in, and
you go, 'Here's the money.'

Van. Get your deposit together.
Then we can talk again.

How?
Phone me or my office.

No, I mean the deposit, numb-nuts!

Well, I don't know. Family money?

ENGINE REVS, TYRES SQUEAL

Can I have grand?
Why? Are you in trouble?

No! No, no, no, no, no.
I'm... I'm buying a house.

But don't tell Aurora, OK?
Cos it's a surprise.

Yeah, it is.
Mm.

So, grand?

You know, it's funny. I never
thought of you moving out. Ever.

What, don't you think I can do it?

No, I do. I think it's great,
branching out on your own.

But, Van, listen to me.
A mortgage, it's a really big deal.

Yeah, I'm... I'm up for it.

But I need grand.

I'd love to help you.
I really would.

But this business is just money
going in and money going out.

Can you wait a year?
I'll help you then.

No, I can't wait!
There's a lot of interest.

There'll be others.
No, not like this one.

Look, if your father was here, we
could manage it, but he's not, so
you know how it is.

All right, I could probably stretch
to K. Would that help?

Yep. Yeah, that'd be choice.
Thanks, Mum. I've gotta go, OK?

Yeah.

You've been doing volunteer work
for the Clean Streets Trust. It's
part of our urban renewal project.

Where did you find the car doors?

Down a bank, near a creek,
at a playground.

And where were you taking them?

To dispose of them safely.
I just got one question.

Fire away.
Will anyone believe this horse shit?

(CHUCKLES) Well, you have a very
credible character witness.

I can vouch for your good work,

and also find other witnesses who
helped you tidy up the biohazard.

Plus, no one actually saw you
stealing the car doors.

So, yeah, I can make
this horse shit fly.

If you can find time in your busy
social calendar to show up at court,
we'll be sweet.

There's nothing I
can't pull out of, mate.

Oi! Um, yeah, I need my,
um, share of Dad's money.

What money?
From the job.

Van, you pulled out of the job.
You don't get a cut.

Yeah, but I did the early stuff.
That's gotta be worth a few grand.
Dad would agree.

No, he wouldn't. He was pissed
at you for pulling out.

Ask him! I bet he says yes.

Only, um, can you do it
today? I'm in a hurry.
Van, I don't know where he is.

Then just give me the money.
I need grand.

What for?

I'm buying a house.

(LAUGHS)

You are gonna buy a house?
What? Are you stoned?

That's not the point. You have
money. I need money. A proper
brother would give it to me.

Piss off, Van. I'm not giving
you a cent. See you later.

You prick, Jethro!

I'm gonna get you for this!

Have you got any ideas, man?

There must be another way.

Hey, what about those Tongan
moneylenders? Maybe they'd give
me the money.

The ones we stole from?

Yeah, probably not, eh? What about
the car door thing? Is there any
money left in that game?

Nah, that opportunity has definitely
closed. I'm only interested in cars
in their complete form.

Yeah.

ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS LOUDLY

JETHRO: Shit.

ENGINE REVS

(SIGHS) You made me a martini.

Shaken, not stirred.

If this is foreplay to some James
Bond fantasy, I've gotta tell you,
I'm pretty tired.

It's a martini. Olive, whiff of
vermouth. No strings attached.

Hey, um,...

I'm sorry about earlier.

Jethro, let it go. She's happy.

Yeah, but it's wrong.

Let it go.

Hi, baby.

I thought you were working
at the Video Hut tonight.

Uh, no, Jools is on tonight.
So, what do you want to do?

Um,... (GRUNTS)

what do you mean?
Tonight.

Um, you... you think about it.
I've gotta go for a walk.

What? Now?

Uh, yeah.

Wow. You're really uptight.

Yeah, well, that's... that's why
I've gotta go for a walk.

Are you in trouble?
No! I'm not in trouble.

Just asking.

Sorry. I just... I'm really...
I'm quite worried about Munt.

Baby, he's gonna be OK.

But you've gotta send
him positive thoughts.

Mm. Yep. I'll do that on my walk.

Mwah.

How was work today, honey?

Loretta, don't you start.

Fine. How was school?

Hell. Were you on a stake-out?

I couldn't tell you if I was.

But it might be someone we know.

That's enough.

Speaking of criminals, how was
life on Cell Block and Over?

I don't want to talk about it.

Are you really sure you want
to buy into this family?

Too late now.

Oh, it's never too late to flee.

You shut up and go
and feed your grandpa.

Shit!

Oh, you prick.

I'm confused. Doesn't
Jethro have a car like this?

Um, not any more.

Oh, heavenly Lord in heaven, Van.

What drives a brother to steal from
a brother who is his own brother?

I want to buy a house, and
he's holding out on my cash.

Oh. So she's knocked up, eh?

Eh? Nah, nah, nah.

Make sure you get the mortgage
insurance, cos my uncle Molo,
he didn't have any.

Then one day he was on the wharf at
Apia, and he was k*lled by a falling
pallet of corned beef.

So, we're saying, three grand?

Yep. No, no, no! . grand at
least, man. Look, it's a classic.

!

You'd steal the bread from
my children's mouths. Four.

Seven and a half.

Five. My children will go
without shoes this winter.

Uh, yeah. OK, yeah, sweet.
Whatever. Five.

You are an astute businessman,
but a lousy brother.

So, how many hours
have you got left?

What?
After yesterday. Of
your community hell.

Shouldn't you be at school?

Did you have to change any nappies?

Have they gone?

Mr Porky and Slutty Pants?
Yes, they've gone, Grandpa.

Are you all right there?
'Course I'm all right.
Why are you dressed like that?

I'm working at the Janet
Frame Retirement Home.

I'll never set foot in
one of those death camps.

Hey, if I tell you something, will
you promise not to tell anybody?

Yeah.

OK.

I really like working there.

At the Janet Frame?

I thought I'd hate it,
and at first I did,

but old people are really grateful
for anything, and they really love
me.

Remember when I was , and I loved
animals, and I wanted to be a vet?

When you were , I was .

Having old people around is just
like having all these wrinkly old
pets around. It's great.

JETHRO: Where's Van?

Um, at work.

No, tried there. He's got an
Asian chick running the store.

Maybe his spiritual home, then.

Now, another $ and we're there.

Yeah, but $ 's almost $ , .

But it's not. Then we need to assess
your ability to repay the loan.

Yeah, but I will. I promise.

On your current wage, it's marginal.

If you had a higher-paying job,
the application would look better.

Really?
It's up to you, Van.

(CHUCKLES) Choice.

We need to talk, don't we?

No.

Oh, I think we do. Do you mind?

Uh, I'll... I'll call you.

OK.
Che.

Where's my car?
What car?

The one I was in when you said,
'I'll get you for this, you prick'.

Oh, that car.

Has it been stolen? Shit.
(LAUGHS) Are you insured?

That's not the point.
Oh yeah? What's the point?

The point is, I want my car back.

What are you asking me for?
I haven't got it.

You stole your own brother's car.

You're the lawyer.

Prove it.

Ooh.

Oh, Van.

(LAUGHS) f*ck you, you prick.
You are gonna pay for this.

What do you want?

I need to talk to Mr Hong.

He's in Hong Kong.
Shit!

If it's about some stupid business
thing, I guess you can talk to me.

Yeah? OK. Um,...

I need a raise.

On my job.

And I need a three-grand advance

on that raise.

Yeah. Or else.

Or else what?

Well, I'll leave.

(SCOFFS)

I need to buy a house.

Wow. Hidden ambitions.

Who knew?

Need or want?

Need.

How bad?

Why?

Because I have a job for you.
Yeah?

A one-off, for the three grand,
and I'll get you that raise.

Cool.

Uh, doing what? I don't clean
pools any more, you know.

Hey, man.

Oh, hey, man.

How's the house thing going?

Oh, I still need three grand
for the deposit, eh.

That's heaps closer than grand.

Yeah.

I can get three grand if I f*ck
Suzy Hong and give her a boy baby.

Wow. You know, technically it's
wrong to stick your d*ck in a woman
who isn't your girlfriend.

Yeah, I know. Help me out here, man.

I don't think you should do it.

But she's ovulating at the moment,
and Mr Hong's out of town, so it's
now or never.

Hell of a plan B.

Yeah, but it's to make Aurora happy.

Yeah, but at what cost?

You're not really
helping me out here.

Oh shit. Not you too. You don't
think I can do it either, do you?

There are ways to buy houses,
and rooting rich slags isn't one.

You don't even want me to!
It's not about that.

Nah, nah, nah. Save it.

I don't wanna hear nothing from
someone that doesn't believe in me.

Fine, cos I've got other
shit I need to worry about.

POIGNANT MUSIC

Jesus Christ, Munter, you can't
be late for your own trial, man.

I've got a lot on my mind.

And that affects how fast you walk?

Yeah, pretty much.
Come on.

Hey, Jethro.
Detective Sergeant.

Hey, Munter. Good luck in there, eh.

Yeah, thanks, Wayne.

What'd you call him Wayne for?

Cos that's his name.

Dickhead's his name. Come on.

(SIGHS)

So, why did I bother?

What? With me?

(LAUGHS) No, you idiot.
Making the sandwich.

Oh.

Yeah, sorry. I've got
a bit of a headache.

I'll have it. I'm a bit constipated,
so I'm working on the compression
theory.

Put enough in, and it has
to come out somewhere.

Do you want to talk about it?

I've just got some bad shit in my
head, that's all. I'll figure it
out.

Well, I know something that will
make that bad shit go away.

This feels really stupid.

You should see what it looks like.

Sssh.

Uh-uh, focus, hon.

Now, the candle is hollow, so the
heat draws all the negative energy
up out of the cranial cavity.

Have you got a candle that
can cure my constipation?

No.

Now, you, no more talking.

I'm gonna come back
in in five minutes.

OK.

Hey, Grandpa?
Mm?

Um, if I do something that's really
quite bad, um, but I get something
really really good out of it,

and it's not just for me,

then that's OK, right?

I thought the shit comes out
your ear, not your mouth.

That was hard out, man.

The pleasure was all mine.

f*ck, you were awesome in there.

Drinks all round?

Works for me.

I would join you, but I've
got a previous engagement.

Oh yeah? Who is she?

She's not your type, mate. Trust me.

Whoo-hoo!

Shit, if I'd known Munter was so
community-minded, I wouldn't have
arrested him.

Just working for my client,
Detective Sergeant.

Working overtime.

(LAUGHS)

Hey, Munt, do you want to come round
home for dinner? To celebrate?

Is that OK?
Yeah, bro. Pork.

(LAUGHS) Always up for that.

Oh, come on, Judd, admit it. I
kicked your f*cking arse in there.

Actually, you saved me a lot of
grief. And it'll be nice to have
Munter home.

Yeah, except it's not your home.

Good point, Jethro.

We still on for that drink?

Yeah.

So, what's Van done with my car?

(SNORTS) Eh?

Oh, come on. I know he took it.

Honest, I don't know.

Munter, I just saved you
from going to prison, man.

(LAUGHS) I'm serious.

We haven't been doing much together
lately, cos of the Aurora thing.

Oh, right.

(LAUGHS) Chicks, eh?

Piece of tail comes along, and then
suddenly your mates don't mean shit.

Aurora's all right.

Huh.

I'd go and ask Falani about your
car. Be my guess, anyway.

So, Van must be pretty
desperate to get this house.

What a dream, eh?

He'll do it.

All he needs is three grand to get
the deposit. And he'll get that from
Mrs Hong, even though it's wrong.

Why would Suzy Hong
give him three grand?

Just a thing she needs done.

(CLEARS THROAT) Right.

Then Van and Aurora disappear
into Nappy Valley, eh?

So, what's this wrong thing that
Suzy Hong's willing to pay three
grand for?

Shit, mate, here.

What's this?

Uh, rest of the car
door money. For your fee.

Oh, no, bro. You keep it.
Serious?

Yeah. You're family.

Just tell me what Van's doing,
before he goes and does something
stupid.

Shit.

I can't find my belt.

It's on your pants.

Oh yeah.

I thought you weren't
working tonight.

Uh, yeah. Um, something came up.

Um, stocktake.

Well, why don't I come and help?
Stocktaking sounds like it could
be fun.

Nah. Nah, there's just, um...
There's some things a man has
to do on his own, Aurora.

Like stocktaking?

Mm.

I love you.

I love you too.

Van, what's going on? ]

Nothing.

PHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE

OK, honey. Well, whatever gets you
through the hours quicker is a good
thing.

All right, we'll see
you when we see you.

Pascalle's working late at the
old folks home. How was school?

Mm, I took the rough
with the smooth.

The odd thing is, she sounded happy.

Really?
Mm.

OK, she did make me
promise not to say anything,

but this morning Pascalle said
that she really liked working there.

She didn't go, did she?

My thoughts exactly.

The little tart.

TENSE MUSIC

What are you doing?
What does it look like?

Oh, Jesus, I knew you were a
goer, Van, but four times?

Eh?

Look, I am overflowing.
Just piss off.

But what about my three grand?

You got your money.

When?

When you finished f*cking
me half an hour ago.

SEXY MUSIC

Fill me to the brim.

Oh, you prick.

If I'd known it was yours, I never
would have bought it from that
drunken Niuean fulla.

Falani, cut the shit.

ENGINE REVS

What the f*ck are you doing?

I needed a piss.

I want my three grand back.

I haven't got it.

Oh, and I had to pay Falani five to
get my car back, so you owe me two.

How could you do this to me?

Oh, it was fun. Man, is
she up for it or what? Whoo!

Not that. I meant take my money!

Van, you stole my car.

That's a car, Jethro.
This is my life!

What life? Oh, what, your dream
house with your g*ng-whore
girlfriend and your best mate,

who's only too happy to spill
the beans, cos you treat him
like shit? ]

Get f*cking real, Van. No bank is
gonna give you a mortgage. Look at
the f*cking state of you.

(CHUCKLES) Dad was right when
he had you pegged as a loser.

You leave Dad out of this.

Why? Cos you've got
your new cop daddy now?

Yeah, I bet you get on like
a f*cking house on fire.

I bet he's, like, 'Come on, Van. You
can do it, Van. I believe in you.'

Losers, both of you.
Get the f*ck out of my office.

Oh, what, you want to hit me?

Try it.

You are deeply f*cked up.

And you will never
amount to anything.

(GRUNTS)

(GROANS)

How'd plan B go?

I can't even look at you, man.

That's a heavy thing to say.

Yeah? It's pretty heavy when your
brother roots the woman that wanted
your sperm

and takes the cash that
you needed to buy a house.

What?

Shit, I can't believe he did that.

I can't believe you told him!

It was an accident, man, I swear.
And never did I think that he'd...

(SIGHS) Man, that's deep down low.

All I wanted to do is to
make her happy, right?

And it's like the whole
crap-arse world is against me.

I'm not against you, bro.

POIGNANT MUSIC

What's this?

Jethro's fee. He flagged it.
Three grand, just like you need.

The chances of the open home being
open again are pretty slim.

Then I'll get the real-estate
lady's number off the sign, man.

Good thinking.

Yeah.

Check it out, bro. She's there!

Hey, lady!

Hey. You remember me, right?
I came to the open home here.

Isn't it a gorgeous little house?

Yeah. Look, I need to talk to you.

One minute. ]
OK.

What can I do for you?

It doesn't matter.

OK. Well, if you're still
looking, here's my card.

There'll be other houses, bro.
West-facing ones, too.

Yeah.

Thanks anyway, bro.

Nah, man, that's yours, bro.

It's for you. You
and your dreams, man.

Hey, we should invest this.
That's a good idea.

Yeah, bro.

In some really good dack.
That's a really good idea.

BOTH LAUGH

And maybe some more
of those six-packs.

Yeah. Oh yeah.

Hey, we need to go and
see your brother first.

I don't wanna go and see that dork.

Yes, you do. Come on.

Eh?

Hi.

Hello.

What's this? Round two?

Shirts for ironing.

Can't you get Tracy
to do them? Or you?

Uh, we're not exactly
ironing people, Mum.

Is he here?

He's at work.

Mm. The station.

You want to stay for dinner?

I hear he's cooking a roast.

Mm-hm. You're up with the play.

Mm. Pork.

(CHUCKLES AND IMITATES PIG)
Seems appropriate.

Gee, you and Ted have obviously
read the same joke book.

You know what?
I won't stay for tea.

And count me out of any dinners
in this house while he's here.

Get over yourself, Jethro.

Do you know what people
think? What they're saying?

No, not them or they. Just you and
the grumpy old bastard downstairs.

You're the only two holding Wolf
up to this bloody sainthood.

You were married for f*cking
years, and you treat him like this?

How about how he treated me?

Why don't you find him and
have a go at him for a change?

He's not the one that f*cked around.

You want me to be the slut, Jethro,
I will. You've made your point. Now
get over it.

Jesus Christ. This is our home, Mum.

I grew up here, and you're
disrespecting everything this
family stands for!

If one of us tried to pull the shit
you're pulling — moving that f*cking
prick in —

you'd go off your f*cking nut.
And we'd deserve it, and you
f*cking know it!

Who died and appointed you Wolf?

You think you scare me, Jethro?

You think you're tough, like him?

Well, you're not. ]

You're not a patch on Wolf,
and you never will be.

Here's that tea.

SOMBRE ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS

Tracy.

Can we just talk about this?

ENGINE REVS

ELECTRIC GUITAR PLAYS

(CHUCKLES MIRTHLESSLY)

Hi, Mum.

What's wrong?

Nothing. Just a...

fight with Jethro.

Oh, Jethro's a knob.

No, he's not. He's your brother and
my son, and we love him dearly.

Yeah, he's still a knob. You know,
you should get your boyfriend to
fake evidence against him.

See how long Pretty Boy lasts in
prison before someone takes his
virginity.

That's a terrible thing to say.

And I'm worried about Pascalle.

OK...

Well, if she's not going to her
thing, then she's breaking parole,
isn't she?

Maybe it runs in the family.

There's only one thing
to do, isn't there?

Excuse me.

Excuse me. Apparently a
Pascalle West works here.

Who?
Pascalle West.

Never heard of her.

I can't stop. I'll miss the Goddess.

Busted!
She's singing.

PASCALLE: OK, let's do it! ]

♪ I turn away as
you close the door. ♪

♪ Darling, I'll say goodbye, even
though I'm blue, even though I'm
blue, even though I'm blue.

♪ Darling, I'll say goodbye,
even though I'm blue. ♪

That's it, Mr Johnson.
You're the man!

Oh, go, Mrs McGill!
Shake that tail feather.

LAUGHTER

Oi, you two at the back. If you're
not here to dance, you're here to
die!

ALL CHEER
Come on, you heard her. Let's go.

♪ This is what I saw through.

♪ I turn away...

♪ ...as you close the door.

♪ Darling, I'll say goodbye, even
though I'm blue, even though I'm
blue, even though I'm blue. ♪

Come on.

♪ Darling, I'll say goodbye, even
though I'm blue, even though I'm
blue, even though I'm blue. ♪

We're just two cats swimming
in a big ocean, bro.

Mm.

Can cats swim?

We can. We're catfish, and we
gotta look out for the sharks.

Yeah, man.

Fish are cool. Sharks are dorks.

Catfish are the coolest
of them all.

BOTH LAUGH

You ready?

SHIHAD'S 'HOME AGAIN' PLAYS

Yeah, man.

DOORS CLATTER

Whoo-ah!

BOTH CHORTLE

♪ Put your clock
back for the winter.

♪ She asks when I'll
be home again. ♪

Whoo-hoo-hoo!

BOTH LAUGH