02x14 - Fathers, Mothers, Daughters, Sons

[bunniefuu]

I've jacked up a safe house.
You can move in in the morning.

See, isn't this nice?
You've got a telephone.
You can put a TV there.

Go to class, keep your head
down, and keep me informed.

Cash on Fridays, and a new mattress
for my bed in the adult section.

Bye, Loretta.

I found his will — Wolf's will.

All my kids are in there, and so's
Brandon. You want to tell me why?

Um, he's Wolf's kid.

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ON STEREO

Wait. Where are you going?

School.

School, school. Right. Yeah, good.

Is everything OK, Cheryl?

Mm-hm. Look, you may have noticed
over the last few days I've been a
bit...

...of a chain-smoker?

Yeah, well, there's
a reason for that.

You're guilty for shoving
Grandpa into a rest home?

Even though it's a high-quality one.

No, this has nothing to do him.

They've found Dad.

[ No. No.

(SIGHS)

[ There is no easy way
of telling you guys this,

and I might as well tell you, cos
you're gonna find out some other
way, and you have a right to know.

You have a brother.

Yeah, his name's Jethro.

No, no, you have another brother.

What? I'm a triplet?

No.

You're pregnant?
No.

Did you have another kid before us?

No. No, not me.

Your father had an affair.

It was years ago,
when Pascalle was a baby.

Shit.

So, who's the slapper?

Anne-Marie Gibbs.
Sparky's sister?

[ Yeah.

Hang on — you said we
had another brother?

Anne-Marie had a son.

So you're saying Brandon Gibbs
is our half-brother?

Oh my God.

LAUGHS: Oh, that's too good! ]
Oh my God!

Brandon went to Shadbolt High with
Pascalle. He was a rugby player.

And we all know how much Pascalle
loves her rugby players.

Bullshit.
LAUGHS: No bullshit. ]

Oh dear.

Oh my God, Pascalle
rooted her own brother!

Yeah. When one-night
stands go bad.

Van!

HELLO SAILOR'S
'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Honey—
Don't say a word.

No, look, it's not your fault.
How were you meant to know?

I don't want to think about it, Mum.
I don't want to talk about it.
I just want to go to work.

WHISPERS: Brother-fucker.

(GIGGLES)

Don't worry, Mum. With the
number of guys she's shagged,

it was only a matter of time
before one was a relative.

Seriously not helping, Loretta.

Poor thing, man. Rooting her
brother. What a total 'mare.

You're rooting her brother
and I don't hear you complaining.

That's different and you know it.

And how are you doing?

A bit queasy, to be honest.

I meant about the Wolf part,
not the Pascalle part.

I'm dealing with it.
How are you guys?

Dunno.

I'm disappointed in Dad,
but not really all that surprised.
Really?

The odds of getting through years
of marriage without someone cheating
are pretty slim these days, eh?

Well, at least we've got tomorrow
night to take our minds off things,
haven't we?

Your film thingy you didn't
think I knew about.

How do you know about it?
The school newsletter.

Apparently Loretta's short film
is one of only six films
to be given a public showing.

Ooh, whoop-de-do.
That's really choice.

[ It is well done, love.

It's just a school project.

Well, I, for one, am really
looking forward to it.

It's part of the curriculum.
I couldn't not do it.

But why did you let them screen it?

Because it's good. And good is good,
right, as far as you getting into
film school is concerned, right?

Can't you beg them
not to show it?

Mr Bates loves it way too much.
Who?

Mr Bates. The film-studies teacher.
He was moved to tears.

Oh my God, you've made some
cliched, dark, brooding...
Goodbye, Loretta.

Jools, I won't have my
name on a crap film.

OK, Notting Hill. Crap or non-crap?

Biggest pile of shit ever.

Uh-oh. I loved it.

Look, you tell Mr w*nk*r, or
whatever his name is, that you
refuse to have your film shown.

Are you nuts? This is
my first ever premiere.

Jools, this could undo the whole
scam. My mother wants to be there.

I'll reserve the back row for the
Wests. Come in late, leave straight
after. Can't you can organise that?

There is no way in hell my family
is going anywhere near that film!

It's not funny, Wayne.

Sorry.

Pascalle could be emotionally
scarred for life.

Bloody Wolf! Jesus, he's f*cking
Anne-Marie Gibbs, while I'm at home
with three bloody children —

breaking up fights, and feeding
somebody, and washing somebody,
and changing somebody's nappies.

And then at the end of the day,
I manage to get them all into bed,
and Wolf comes home from a job,

and we both collapse on the couch
with a beer cos we're both so bloody
exhausted.

But we would congratulate
ourselves for doing it —
for doing it together.

Lying bastard!

I wonder— I wonder who
else he was screwing.

Was Anne-Marie the only one?

Or was she the only
one he knocked up?

Jesus.

What?

Plunket.

Pascalle must have been about .

And she— And she was
there with her boy.

And we sat in the waiting room,
watching the kids play together.

She must've been sh1tting herself.

I bet she told him
all about it later.

You know, however much of a prick
he was, I always trusted him.

It never occurred to me that he
might screw around, let alone—
let alone a kid;

this whole other... f*cking world.

God help him, eh, if he ever
shows his face round here again?

I'd love him to show his face again.

He puts that bastard kid of his
in his will and doesn't tell me
about it.

We all get to find out
after he's gone.

He carks it and then
kicks us when we're down!

I wish he could come back so I could
shove that will down his throat.

I wish I could tell him
what a coward he is.

I wish I could tell him
how much I hate him!

Here's that rug rider again.

Nice to see you too, Mr West (!)

And you, Pascalle.

Hello.

I really enjoyed the
movie the other night.

Mm.

Normally I'm not an Adam Sandler
fan, but it was quite amusing.

Would you like to go out again?
Maybe tomorrow night?

I dunno, Bruce. I'm having
some issues at the moment.

Issues with my family.

I too have issues with your family.

Particularly their views
on race relations.

Oh, Grandpa's just mental.

My whole family's mental.

Yeah, let's go out again.

It'd be nice to have some moral
support from someone who has morals.

Great. Tomorrow night.

OK, see you then.

Mr West.

Detective Sergeant Wayne Judd.

You must be Brandon.

Yeah.

Is your mum in?

Nah, she's at work.

Can I come in?

Sure.

You want a drink?

Oh, it's a bit early
for me, Brandon.

I meant like tea or
coffee. Or cordial.

No, thanks. Any idea where your dad
is right now, Brandon?

Australia.
So he's been in touch recently?

No. I've never spoken to him.

But he's always lived
over there. He was a Bronco. ]

A Bronco?
Yeah, a Brisbane Bronco.

He and Mum met in a pub
over there after a game.

Wolfgang West.

You know where he is?

Uncle Wolf?
Yeah, sure — Uncle Wolf (!)

We don't know him that well.

He's mates with my Uncle Barry.

Why'd you ask about my father if
you're looking for Uncle Wolf?

So what's his name, then,
this league-playing dad of yours?

Mum never said.

You never asked?

I did once. She said she
couldn't remember his name.

She bags herself a sports
star but can't recall his name?

[ Look, I said I asked her
once — she got all thing...

Maybe he was in a bar, said he was
a Bronco just to get in her pants.

Fair enough.
I don't really care. It's not like
he wanted to know me or anything.

What are you getting at, anyway?

Nothing.

Are you saying...
Uncle Wolf is my old man?

What do you care?

You don't care.

Shit, he did used pick me up from
kindy sometimes when Mum was at
work.

Yeah, he's a real saint (!) But
have you seen him more recently than
kindy? Say in the last few weeks?

On my last birthday —
three months ago...

Oh God! He's Pascalle's dad.

Oh God.
What's going on?

I f*cked my sister!
[ What?!

Why didn't you tell me, Mum?
I had to hear it from a cop!

Hear what from a cop?

Where is Wolfgang West?

Oh God, you get out of my house.

Has Wolf been in contact with you?

I told you to get out of my house!

Oh man, isn't there some
kind of law against that?

Probably.
But if Wolf gets in touch with you—

Get out! ]

Calm down, Brandon. ]

You lied to me about
who my dad is! ]

VIDEO GAME PLAYS

KNOCK ON DOOR
I'll get it.

Hi. Is she OK?

Thanks for coming round. She
just needs a friend to talk to.

Hi, Cheryl.

Hey, Kase.

A vino or two?

Oh, love to, but we're going out.

She's in denial about
the whole Wolf situation.

Mum, we can see the film another
night. Stay and have a drink with
your friend.

Why don't you come with us?
Sure.

Come where?

[ Loretta's made a movie.

Cool. What's your
movie about, Loretta?

Oh, she says it's a surprise.

KNOCK ON DOOR
Bye.

Wait. Don't we get
to meet this bloke?

No, you don't. Van!

What?

Hey, bro.

Did we order takeaways?

No, I'm here to pick up Pascalle.

(CHUCKLES)

OK, see youse.

At least we know he's not related.

Hold on. Hold on.

Why don't you come in? We were
just about to have a drink before
we go out.

This is my mate Kasey.
Hi.

And Pascalle's brother Van,

and his girlfriend, Aurora,
Pascalle's younger sister, Loretta.
I'm Cheryl.

I'll try to remember everyone.

My name's Bruce.

ALL CHUCKLE

No, really.

How's it, Bruce?

Bruce is a doctor at
the Janet Frame.

I have a few patients there.
I try to drop in whenever I can.

Jolly good.
So, where are you guys off to?

I thought maybe a movie.
We're going to the movies.

Loretta made it.

Apparently it's awesome.

I'd love to see it sometime.

No!
Why don't you come with us?

No, Mum.

Well, how often do we get to show
that the Wests can be creative too?

What do you say, Bruce?

I say I'd love to come.

(GROWLS)

(WHISTLES)

Wayne, I've just had one Anne-Marie
Gibbs on the phone, shrieking at me.

Claims you illegally entered her
house; harassed her son...

Hardly.

The kid invited me in and all
I did was ask a few questions.

About Wolfgang West.
So?

So, were you on official police duty
or were you sorting out your
girlfriend's dirty laundry?

You're on bloody thin ice, mate.

Can I go now?

Yeah, you can go.

Maybe you should think
about making it permanent.

Bloke with brains would see the shit
coming and get out before it hit.

Resign?
Might be a wise move.

Piss off.

CHINESE MUSIC PLAYS

Shit, hope we haven't
missed anything.

APPLAUSE

Congratulations, Ming Ming Chen,
for your moving piece on alienation.

Ha! Ming Ming! Ha ha!

Next up, a particularly brave film
by one of our Year students —
Loretta West.

Loretta has confronted some demons
and produced what she calls a highly
cathartic and deeply personal work

I give you Jandal by Loretta West.
APPLAUSE

Good luck.

OMINOUS MUSIC PLAYS

Oh, that's clever.

EERIE MUSIC PLAYS

GIRL LAUGHS

THUD! THUD!

MUSIC BUILDS OMINOUSLY

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

GIRL SCREAMS

GIRL SHRIEKS

Oh, gross.

Oh my goodness.

GIRL CRIES

Can we go?
Yeah, let's go.

Eh?

APPLAUSE

What the hell do you want?

I thought it was time to have a
bit of a chat — bloke-to-bloke.

(LAUGHS) Bugger off.

It's about your mum.

This whole Anne-Marie Gibbs
thing — you know about that?

Yep. Mum's told me.

She's gutted. And she wants
some answers... from Wolf.

Can't be easy for you kids.

Your old man leaves a chunk of your
inheritance to some drop-kick that
you don't even know. ]

Do you know where your
father is, Jethro?

Nah.

Must've been exciting
for you, the g*ng job.

Highlight of Wolf's career,
I reckon. I told him that last
time I saw him.

Just before he buggered off.

He left under the impression that I
was going to tell the Horsemen if he
ever came back.

The truth of the matter is,
I wouldn't have said anything.

I care about your mother too much.

Those bastards would have ripped you
to shreds: you, Wolf, and probably
Van.

Hell, they would've had a go at
your sisters just for being related.

And as for my esteemed
colleagues,...

the minute I give them the
information, the Horsemen will know,
and you're all dog tucker.

That is why I'm still keeping quiet.

That is why I'm compromising
myself beyond belief.

When I say to you I want to find
your father, it's not to make an
arrest — it's for your mum.

I haven't heard from him.

Not a word.

Nobody else has?
Sparky or Hayden?

No one.

The only person who reckons Wolf's
been in touch with them is Grandpa.
And he's off his head.

The old bastard has his lucid
moments when he wants to.

Not lately.

Fair point.

Dad hasn't even been in touch
about the money. Nothing.

It's like he's disappeared
off the face of the planet.

(SIGHS)

Thanks.

I'm going to bed.

Maybe we should head
to bed as well, OK, babe?

Yeah.

Why was everyone acting
all weird in the car?

I'll tell you in the bedroom.

Brilliant (!) Now Bruce thinks
our family's full of paedies.

Pascalle!

As if finding out I rooted my own
brother wasn't bad enough, now we've
got a kiddie-fiddler in the family.

This is the worst day of my life.

You rooted Van?

Anne-Marie's kid.

Only once. ]

Brandon is Pascalle's brother?!

Why does everyone
have to rub it in?!

Wolf got Anne-Marie up the duff?!

Oh God. Oh no, I need something
stronger than this. Where's the rum?

You know, I suppose Brandon does
look a bit like Wolf, you know,
when you think about it.

I bet there never was any Australian
rugby league player. God, what a
lying tart.

Kase, please. I don't really give
a shit about any of that right now.

Right.

Any idea who it might have been?

The Loretta thing, that is.

'Course I bloody don't.

Shit, sorry. It's just...

why did I not know?
How could I not have known?

It's a mother's worst
nightmare, Cheryl.

And it's just so awful that it was
a family member who did this.

Well, if the film's accurate, it's
a family member or a family friend.

Is there anyone Loretta's
really funny around?

I don't think so.

God, everybody.

f*ck, I don't know.

Oh, Loretta.

Poor thing.

You stupid, stupid bitch. Do you
have any idea of the shit I'm in
thanks to your stupid wanky film?

You better call me
as soon as, Jools,

otherwise I will start abusing you
in ways you've never imagined!

KNOCK ON DOOR

I'm in bed.

Can I come in?

Not if you want to
talk about the film.

Honey...

[ Mum, it's a work of fiction.

It's why you didn't want me to
come to the screening, isn't it?

It's a work of fiction.

Cos you didn't want me
to know about it, did you?

Mum, it's made up!

It's total bullshit!

So why does it say true story?

Because controversy sells.

Sexual abuse, physical abuse,
mental abuse — people dig it. ]

Mum, people only respect you as
a film-maker if you're messed up
in some kind of way.

So I lied, I totally lied.
End of story.

DOOR OPENS

Who was it? Tell me who it was
and I'll rip his f*cking nuts off!

READS: 'Tease, tease, tease.

'First date, second date,
even third or fourth.

'Making your man wait is the key
to keeping him interested.'

Well, I think we all know
that's not entirely true.

Gidday, Ted.

(SNORES)

Bloody hell.

Rangi Tipene.
Eh? ]

I thought you were dead, mate.

How's Sharon?

Yeah, good.

But I'm looking for Wolf.

If anyone can cook a whitebait
fritter, your Sharon bloody can.

Have you spoken to Wolf lately?

[ 'Course I have.
You have?

I ring him every day or so,
let him know what's going on.

I need to let him know
when it's safe to come back.

Come back from where?

I haven't missed my lunch, have I?
Oh, Rita'll bring me something.

So, have you got a number
for Wolf, or what?

I couldn't call him
without a number, Rangi.

Bloody Maoris — never going to
win no academic prizes, are ya?

Can I have it? The number?

Uh-uh. Keep it up here.

Otherwise the screws'll
come sniffing around.

Wait a minute. You're
that moustachey twat!

The one Slutty-pants is going
around with. Get out of my house!

Settle down, mate.

You're a cop! You can't come in
here without a warrant! You're not
welcome...

Oh, f*ck.

(BREATHES DEEPLY)

What did you do to him?
Nothing. He just keeled over.

That's crap! This is police
brutality — just like with
Rodney Hide. What?

In LA? The riots? You know
what I'm talking about.

Pascalle, you should come
with your grandfather.

Bastard.

PHONE DIALS

Welcome to TAB Easibet.

Well, she said she made it up.

I'm sorry, but, no.

A movie that powerful
only comes from experience.

You know about film, do you?

I know about people, Cheryl.

Apart from pick-pocketing,
shoplifting and forgery, she's OK.

She's in denial.

That's what they do.
They go into denial.

And it totally explains
why she's a d*ke!

Ladies.

Eric.

Want to take your hand
off my arse, Eric?

Sorry. Just slipped.

I'll just, uh... (CLICKS TONGUE)

Eric's been a friend of the
family for ages, right?

Donkeys.

Eric?

Surely not.

You can't tell me
he's not a sleaze.

But is he a sleaze who wore
jandals? That's the question.

See, look, it's summer. Everyone
wears jandals in summer. Even I'm in
bloody jandals.

No, Van.

God, was Eric ever out
of those jeans?

Thankfully, no.

Oh, check out that beard, man.

Yeah, he was pretty
into ZZ Top back then.

And there are those
jeans again.

Why are they all wet?

He went bodysurfing at Piha.
Wolf pulled him out of a rip.

Good old Wolf. No
wonder Eric idolises him.

Good old Wolf —
what a f*cking hero (!)

Maybe he popped over to Anne-Marie's
later on that night to celebrate.

Jesus, this is bullshit.

If Loretta said she made the
film up, then she made it up.

You're in denial just like she is.

You know, I reckon it was Eric.

You sure?

I'd bet my left
butt-cheek on it.

AURORA: No.

I mean, Eric's a creep,
but he's a harmless creep.

No such thing, Aurora.

I mean, how many times has
he grabbed your arse?

Huh, just once.

He won't be doing that again.

Case closed.

I've known some scuzzballs,
man, and Eric is one of them,
but he's not that kind of scuzzball.

What's going on?

It was Eric, wasn't it?

Kase!
What?

You can tell us, Loretta. ]

Oh my God.

Baby, he needs to pay
for what he did to you!

I would never let Eric
close enough to touch me!

Loretta, I'm your mother.
Tell me the truth.

Mum, I am telling you the truth.
I was never abused. I made it up!

If you were never abused,
then why are you a lesbian?

OK, first of all,
sexual orientation

is not determined by whether
or not someone was abused as a
child!

And, secondly, I am not a lesbian!

Yes, you are.

Then I'm a pretty slack one,
considering that I've been f*cking
a guy for the last month!

PHONE RINGS
Who?

Someone.

Hello?

Yeah, so what's this
boyfriend's name?

Hey, Pascalle.
I can't say.

Because there is no boyfriend!

Mum, why do you let this
person in our house?

Is there a boyfriend or not?

Oh!

Loretta!

Classic denial behaviour.
Hang on.

Cheryl, it's Pascalle. She's
at the hospital with Grandpa.

What?

It is not funny!

Jools is ruining my life
with her stupid film!

Everyone is looking at
me like I'm about to break.

LAUGHS: I knew someone as twisted
as you had to have a dark past.

Just shut up. No matter what
I say, no one will believe me.

You could tell them you
didn't actually make the film.

Um, no, I couldn't, because that
would imply also having to tell them
I don't go to school,

and that I pay someone to go for me.
And that is a whole other mess of
trouble.

But it is a marginally
better mess of trouble.

No, I can't do it.

It's my best scam ever.

Oh God, I have got to get
this situation under control.

I kind of accidentally even
sort of told them about us.

Yeah?

Don't worry, I didn't
mention any names.

I wouldn't mind if you did.

Really?

Nah. Except your mum would read it
that you're being fiddled with by an
older bloke... again.

Ha ha. They probably wouldn't
believe me, anyway. Better they
all think I'm a lesbian.

And are you?

No.

Well, prove it.

PHONE RINGS

Jesus, can't a joker have a quiet
beer on his own these days?

Did you touch my sister?

Eh?
You know.

Which one?

Oh, you kiddie-fiddling bastard!

Piss off! I cuddle her — it's hardly
fiddling, and she's not a kid!

Don't you lie to me, mate.
Loretta doesn't cuddle anyone.

Loretta?
I'm talking about Pascalle.

What? You touched her too?

Not in a bad way!

And as for Loretta, are you nuts?

Yeah, well, someone did.

What?

That's disgusting... and wrong,
and potentially fatal.

Hey listen, Van, even if
I was that much of a perve —

which I'm not, thank you very bloody
much — I wouldn't go near Loretta.

She's evil, that girl.

She set fire to my beard!

True.

It's just wrong, you know.

And I want to find out who did it.

Absolutely. We should
do something about it.

Beer?

Loretta, I don't know whether you
are getting your messages, but I'm
at the hospital, call me.

He woke up in the ambulance and
said Spring Heeled Jack flashed
his donger at Rita

and that the townspeople were
going to go after him with g*ns,
and then he just zonked out again.

So Wayne was with him
when he collapsed?

Yeah.
Did he say why?

[ No.

This is definitely the most
miserable week of my life.

First, Brandon Gibbs, then a
kiddie-fiddler in the family,
and now Grandpa might die.

I mean, I know he was, like, smelly
and he used to, you know, grope us
and that,

but at the end of the day, he's our
flesh and blood and we love him.

Hold on. Did you say he groped you?

Yeah, but only when
he didn't know who I was.

Oh my God, Cheryl.

No, Kasey.

Yes, Cheryl.

I mean, Loretta and him are real
close, aren't they? It all fits.

Where is he?
Oh, you do get your messages.

He's fine. He's just having some
tests. That's all we know for now.

What are you doing here?

Moral support.

Yeah, well, I've almost got a
boyfriend, so you can stick your
moral support up your—

For Loretta.

Pardon?

Why are you holding
my sister's hand?

Oh my God. He's the boyfriend.

It gets worse?

How could he go from me to her?
It's like going from a to a two.

Darling, some guys
like damaged goods.

She must be sleeping with him.
She said she was sleeping with him.

No, she said she was f*cking him.

Oh, she can't be with Hayden.
It's too disgusting.

You know what this means, don't you?
I have indirectly slept with my
sister.

Eh?

We learnt it in an
STD talk in Third Form.

Everyone your partner's rooted,
you've rooted. First Brandon, and
now Loretta!

You know why she's hooked up with
an older man. It's because of the
abuse. That's what survivors do.

I thought they became lesbians.

Or they form unhealthy patterns.

They go for older men because they
think it's normal. Loretta's a
textbook case.

Oh Christ, I need a drink.

Hey, do you think it's significant
that no one's congratulated us yet?

At least Mum hasn't passed out.

Um, I'm just popping out for some
fresh air. Call me if anything
happens.

How's the old boy?

Alive. Waiting on test results.

Good.

What were you doing
at the retirement home?

Just having a yarn.

About?

Wolf. I was trying to find
out if he'd heard from him.

I never touched the old guy.
He just passed out right in
front of me.

Why were you asking about Wolf?
You wanted some answers.

And so you decided
to start a manhunt?

You swore you would shove that will
down Wolf's throat if he ever came
back here. I'm keen to see that.

Look, I know you're hurting,
and I don't like it,

but if you being able to have
it out with Wolf will help,

then I will do everything
in my power to make it happen.

Though it hasn't been one of my more
successful assignments so far —
what with Ted keeling over,

and Brandon learning some
of his family history,...

Oh no, you didn't.

...and Anne-Marie screaming
blue m*rder to my superiors.

Listen, don't get yourself
into more shit over me.

To be honest, Cheryl, I don't
care about getting into shit.

I'm thinking of PERFing.

PERFing?

Taking my pile of retirement
cash and leaving the force.
What do you reckon?

I reckon it's the best
idea I have heard in ages.

You totally freaked us out, Grandpa.

They put me in a washing machine.
Why would they do that?

It was a brain scan.

In a washing machine?

Pascalle, could I see
you for a moment?

Go on. Promise I won't
peek at your letters.

You can skip the speech.
I know what you're going to say.

You do?

You don't want to see me any more
because my family are all messed-up
inbreds.

Actually, I was going to tell you
your grandfather's test has shown
something interesting.

Oh.

He's not suffering
from Alzheimer's.

Really? That's awesome!

He has a brain tumour.

Oh my God. That sucks!

No, no, it doesn't
suck. It's good news.

OK, I'm not a doctor, but even I
know that a brain tumour is bad.

Not when it's operable.

The hospital is scheduling the
surgery. Your Grandpa will be as
good as new.

So he won't be nuts any more?

If that's how he was before.

That's so wicked.

I thought you'd say that.

Thank you, thank you, thank you!

It says nothing about Alzheimer's
in Ted's medical records.

So why did we think
he had Alzheimer's?

Because he was mental all the time?

That was the tumour.

Or he was playing us.

I think it was Dad said it first.

As I recall, he said it
and we all believed him.

Yeah, I think I remember
that too, actually.

Yeah, Dad definitely said
Grandpa was f*cked in the head.

Yeah, I guess sometimes Dad
never told us the truth.

Yeah, he could be a bit
of a w*nk*r like that... sometimes.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Knock, knock.

Is that another film?

Yeah.

So, what's this one about?

Sorry.

Hey, it's good news
about Grandpa, huh?

I always knew he was more
on to it than he was letting on.

You two have always
been really close.

You've always been his favourite.
You do know that, don't you?

Even when you were little, he...

No way.

Please don't say what
I think you are.

What do you think I
was going to say?

Mum, the film was made up.

I was never abused,
especially not by Grandpa!

I'm not suggesting that—
Yes, you were. How could go there?

You know Grandpa is not like that!

I don't know anything any more!

I thought I did. I thought I had a
handle on most people, but I was
wrong.

And if I couldn't see what type
of man I was married to,

then what hope have I got of being
able to pick when someone's hurting
one of my kids?

Protecting you lot — that's all
that's ever mattered to me.

You did.

You do.

You what?

I'm coming clean.
Why?

Because thanks to your stupid film,
my mother is really upset,

I need her to know she's a good
mother and that there is no family
paedophile.

You can't! Just hang in there.
The school year's almost over,
and then I'll be out of your life.

I'm moving to Wellington.

Why?

Well, Mr Bates showed my
'stupid film' to a friend of his.

Goes by the name of Peter...

Jackson.
No way.

And he liked it. He's offered me a
job as a runner on his new film.

I mean, it's not much,
but it's a foot in the door.

That's my job!
No, it's not.

Yes, it is. My name's on the film!

My name is on the film.

So you're Loretta West
now, are you?

Actually, yeah, I am.

No, you are confused,
that is what you are.

I changed my name by deed
poll... to Loretta West.

You can't do that!

Yeah, I can. And I did.

Look, our contract's almost over.

If it all blew up, it wouldn't
be cool for either of us.

So what do you reckon we shake
hands, you say, 'Thanks for the
good grades,'

and I say, 'Thanks for allowing me
to fish my life out of the toilet,'

and we both say goodbye
and live happily ever after?

I can't work out whether
Jools won or I did.

Let's look at the upsides.

You won't have to put that school
uniform on every morning — or is
that a downside?

We don't have to keep our
relationship secret,

and you're not going to Wellington.

But a Peter Jackson film?!

You, babe, are working on a Loretta
West and Hayden Peters' film.

Our porn flick isn't quite the same.

If it makes you feel better,
we'll have a guy in a gorilla suit.

And what am I going
to do about Mum?

She still thinks I was abused, and
she's doing that whole mother-guilt
thing. I can't deal with it.

Well, then, just as you're so good
at inventive sexual positions,
you're gonna need to get creative.

Bert Thompson?

Bert Thompson.

Ted's old mate, Bert?

The one who died
eight years ago. Yep.

Bert Thompson abused you?

I thought you said you made it up.

Abused is quite a strong word.
More like he offered me a lolly
and then said, 'Gizza kiss.'

And he sometimes tweaked
my nose like this.

Ow!
I used to hate that so much.

He'd go, 'Hello, lovey.
Hello, lovey.'

Ow!

It was pretty traumatic. ]

I guess it was those memories which
triggered the thought process behind
Jandal.

And then it was just exaggerated
for dramatic effect.

Hold on. Why tell me this now?

I didn't realise how empowering
it is to tell the truth.

It's like freeing the shackles,
breaking the chains. (SIGHS)

Being able to breathe again.

OK.

Great.

And you have got nothing
to worry about.

You're a really good mum.

The best.

So it's happy endings all round, eh?
Except for Pascalle. She still
rooted her half-brother.

And you, of course, because
it's time for some more empowerment.

I want you to tell me about your
relationship with some bloke old
enough to be your father.

Connect four! (LAUGHS)

Man, not again.

PHONE DIALS

What's up, old man?

Sorry to be the bearer of bad
news, Wolf. Your old man's in
hospital.

Is that so?
Yeah. A brain tumour.

Thought you might
want to pay a visit.

Now, I'm buying, to say
thank you for Grandpa. Beer?

I don't drink.
Oh, me neither.

Raspberry lemonade?

Yum, me too.

Hi.

Yeah, hi.

Who's that?

No one.

Now, are you're sure you want to get
involved with my screwed-up family?

Pascalle, I don't want to get
involved with your family.

I want to get involved with you.

Hey.
Hey.

What's this?

I don't know where he is, but if
you want to talk to him, that's his
number.

Wolf?

Do with it what you want.

For closure, or whatever
they call it.

Nah.

Nah, I've got that.

HELLO SAILOR'S
'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'