03x10 - Feats So Crimeful

[bunniefuu]

God has ordered me to confess to
every crime I've ever committed.

Next is my involvement, along
with Wolfgang, Jethro and Van West,
and Hayden Peters,

in the theft of several hundred
thousand dollars from motorcycle
gangs.

That job was a joy to watch,
Wolf, from beginning to end.

What have you got there?
What the f*ck's going on?

Wolf.

Wayne Judd, you are under arrest.

I got Van a job. He starts
tomorrow, as a courier.

Your dad hired him?

I believe in Van. He can turn his
life around, starting with this job.

Yeah, wicked.

Funny place to have a barbecue.

Christ, Falani!

What are you doing,
sneaking up on me?

You told me to meet you here.

Yeah.

This stainless steel?

How the hell should I know?

Aluminium. What else you got?

Uh, DVD player, running
shoes — sh*t like that.

It's amazing the crap
people send by couriers.

I'll give you .

All right. I guess so.

And, um, three thou for the van, eh?

No, no. $ for the van
and everything in it.

Nah. Nah. Nah. You could
sell this for K, man.

New plates, new chassis number,

do a repaint, and studies have
linked aluminium with Alzheimer's.

Our bodies are our temples, Van.

(HONKS HORN)
Yeah, see you later, you
fat Samoan rip-off artist.

Yeah. Gidday, Draska. It's me.

Yeah, look. You've gotta come
and pick me up. Your dad's van just
got nicked.

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

So, I received an
envelope from my husband.

That is, Wolfgang West?

Yep, that husband.

The police say there
was $ , in it.

Well, if those idiots knew their
arseholes from their elbows...

Cheryl.
Are you saying there was no money?

I'm saying Wolf's a thief and a liar
and I wish I'd never met the prick.

Probably not the ideal choice
of vocab for a High Court trial.

Bloody good gravy, though.
It's OK, Cheryl.

I'm meant to sit in that courtroom
and listen while he calls you a
criminal and me a liar. That's OK?

We need to run through
the questions again.

We need to relax a little,

enjoy the best roast in town.

Sorry, Mum. Double pile this week.

Wayne, Des. ]

Jethro.

I take it this is a work meeting.

Mm-hm.

Guess I won't be
staying for tea, then.

Unbelievable.

The cops subpoenaed me,
Des. If I don't—

I mean unbelievable that your
mother still does your ironing.

Right.

So, I'll, um, pick 'em up tomorrow.

The bugger's right.
He doesn't have a choice.

It wasn't my fault, all right?

The van drove off by itself?

I was taking a slash. I was just
finishing up the business and...
vroom!

Babe, it's just that
Dad's really pissed off.

Like, he wants to know
if it really was stolen.

What?
This has never happened to us bef—

I'm lying?
Draska didn't say that.

I ran after them, OK?

I could have been hit over the
head with a big aluminium pot...
or something else heavy,

and all I get from you is grief.

Oh, babe.

Look, I was wrong, OK?

Hey, let me make you something
nice and we can go to bed early.

Nah, get f*cked.

The cock!

I've got a really weird feeling,
like I almost feel sorry for Draska.

Yeah, it's gone. Do
you want another beer?

Hey.

Hey, you heard what he said —
we're in good shape.

If I had five bucks for every case I
thought was in good shape that went
pear-shaped...

I just keep thinking, 'What
if I lose? What if I go away?'

I have never had what I've
got now — nothing even close.

What if I lost it?

What if I lost you?

I mean, Des is good, but there's
no guarantees here, Cheryl.

No, there is.

There's my guarantee.

You are not going to jail.

I will not let that happen.

Here you go.

Thanks.
Something happen here?

Yeah. I'm pissed off at you, so
there's a bloody great hole in it.

Mum, I wouldn't testify
if I didn't legally have to—

That is bullshit.

When I found out Wolf was involved
in that g*ng job, I asked you — no,
I begged you — to stay away.

Your father's behind this,
but you're still doing just what
he wants.

That is not how it is.

You're an adult, Jethro.
You made a choice. Good on you.

But I'm done begging, and
I'm done ironing your shirts.

(SNIFFLES)

You all right? ]

Draska, what did he do?

Van didn't come home last night,
so I text him to say sorry, and that
I'd make his lunch for him,

but he didn't call me back.

He's a prick. You know that?

No, he's wounded and hurting.

No, he's a prick.

Oh.

Come on.
What are you doing?

Nobody treats my bridesmaid
like dirt — nobody.

What does that mean —
you've got the case now?

The case against Wayne Judd.

It's felt the former
Mrs Judd was too compromised.

Well, aren't you the big man?
Cut the bullshit, West.

Practised that with a mirror, Glen?

We want the same thing here.
You won't be crying when Wayne Judd
goes to jail, right?

Our charges are based on the fact
that Judd profited from a criminal
act.

But in order to make that stick,
we need to prove a crime took place,
so I need to know about the job.

What job's that?

Let's do it. Come on, son.

In your father's confession,
he referred to something big that
went down.

A while ago, there was a robbery.

Don't bother asking me
who, when, where or why.

I don't grass.

The West code, eh?

Our star witness isn't saying
a thing, so if you know anything—

I don't.
That's a shame.

Yep. I'm pretty gutted (!)

Look, I'm busy,
so if you don't mind—

When did you last see Barry Gibbs?

I've got a church to build.
He even provided the funds.

Who? Jesus did?

Nah, nah, nah — Wolf.

I'll ask again.
OK.

When's the last time you
saw Barry Gibbs, aka Sparky?

God knows.

Is he important?
Let's just say we're
anxious to find him.

Talk again soon, Jethro.

I can't wait, mate (!)

(CHUCKLES) Nice sh*t.

Hey, you wanna get us another round?

Yep.

Make sure you get some more
of those quick fucks, eh? (GROWLS)

You're in a generous mood.

Yeah, no thanks to you.

[ Big thanks to me.

Uh, no, it was my plan.

Better than anything Munter
could have come up with.

If you say so.

Yeah, I do.

Oh, that's great.

Oh, here's your missus.

We brought your lunch — the lunch
that your girlfriend made you.

Yeah, we're in the middle
of a game here, so...

There's no tomato sauce.

You can't let him get away
with that sh*t. You can't!

(SOBS)

Draska, you remember when you
went out with that Ross Marley

and that slut from the softball team
tried to stick her tongue down his
throat?

You broke her arm in two places.

(SNIFFLES) With her
own softball bat.

Yeah.
Where did that Draska go?

That was school.

No, that was you —
you sticking up for you.

I should hit those chicks
with their pool cue?

Them or him — why not?

Because Van will call me a psycho
Dally bitch and never speak to me.

Van is a prick, and you should just
get right away from him right now.

Are you saying I should leave Van?

Yeah, after you've hit him.

You want to get rid of me.

No, I don't, I just think that a guy
who really loves you doesn't do this
kind of sh*t.

And are you so much better than me,
Pascalle, with your midget Muslim
fiance? f*ck up, Draska.

Well, you're an interfering bitch,
Pascalle, so stay out of my life!

Yeah, an interesting call from the
prosecution. They're talking a deal.

Oh yeah? What kind of deal?

Plead guilty to obstruction,
the rest goes away.
Obstruction?

Yeah. Buggering up the
investigation. The point is, it's a
misdemeanour — a fine. No jail time.

Why?
They're on shaky ground.

They know that if they go to court,
Des Stewart will rip them apart.

I didn't obstruct.

I tried to tell Grisham about the
job, but he wouldn't bloody listen.

Your call.

Hey, happy to proceed. I'll have
another scalp hanging on the wall.

Right.

Oh, it's a fine? That's all?

sh*t, that's great. Let's call Des,
tell him you'll take it. What?

I admit any charge, even a minor
one, and there goes my super.

Yeah, but it's just money.

It's a lot of money — all the money
the cops put in. $ , , gone.

Yeah, but it keeps
you out of prison.

It says I'm guilty, Cheryl.

No, it says you'll do what you
have to do to keep out of jail.

It says I'm one of the bad bastards.

I may not be a cop any more,
but I'm sure as hell not a crim.

BOTH GRUNT

BOTH PANT

(GROANS)

Hey. Hey.

Van?

WHISPERS: Hey.

I really love being here with you.

Van?

(SNORES SOFTLY)

OK, if I said something wrong—

If?

Look, Draska, we have been
friends forever, haven't we?

You think I'm stupid for loving him,
but I have always loved him,

ever since he flashed his little
d*ck at me at primary school.
And no one else got him, but I did.

And if I just keep on showing him
how much I love him, he'll realise,
won't he?

Because that is real love.

I guess.

What are you looking for?

Cucumber for my eyes.

It's under the lettuce.

So, am I still your bridesmaid?
Yeah, of course you are.

Cool.

You can still be mine.

(CHUCKLES)

You mean you want to marry Van?

Well, he nearly married me once,

and if it wasn't for your f*ckin'
evil family, we would have done it.

So I know, deep down — like, way
deep down — that he must love me,
you know?

HESITANTLY: Yeah.

RADIO: You're on The Rock.
Good morning. It's . .

KNOCK ON DOOR ]

RADIO DRONES

(SIGHS)
Brings back memories, doesn't it?
Just like Wolf, but with a tan.

Hickey, you're a w*nk*r.

Still here.
Still a w*nk*r.

And a trotting piggy-wig.

In your position, I'd try
being a bit more civil.

What can I do to make you go away?

You mean like a bribe? Extortion?

Yeah, there's $ under
that coffee cup if you leave.

We want you to answer
some questions.

I want to be hung like Phar Lap.
Doesn't mean it'll happen.

Already did. Phar Lap was a gelding.

You want me in the station so you
can question me without reading me
my rights?

Get real, Junior.
I taught you this routine.

OK.

It's about Barry Gibbs.
Sparky?

What's he got to do with anything?

When did you last see him?

Months ago. Why?

Anne-Marie Gibbs, his sister,
has filed a report.

He hasn't been seen for months.
He's a missing person.

Last time I saw him,

I gave him a lift to the bus
station. He was erecting a church.

In Wanganui.

Before he left, he called
Anne-Marie to tell her.

Then you know as much as I do.

Except he never got on that bus.

Got nothing to do with me.

You're the last person known to have
been with him. He hasn't been seen
alive since.

This is getting silly.

Given that we're interested in
talking with Sparky in connection
to a fire

where a safe might have been
removed, I'd say it's serious.

You shouldn't be here.

Sparky's been reported missing.
Hickey's looking for him.

Don't see how that's my problem.

Hickey's trying to put the pieces
together of the fire at the
accountants.

All the pieces, everyone involved
in the job. Which does seem like
your problem.

If Sparky turns up and starts
talking like he did last time, well,
I won't be the only one in sh*t.

On the bright side,
he might be dead.

Christ, you are heartless.

I've already had a lecture from Mum.
I don't need a spanking from you.

PHONE RINGS

Speak of the devil.
Hey, lovey.

Ugh.

Tell Des we'll be there
in half an hour. Yep. OK.

Something up?

Didn't think you
wanted to talk to me.

Just asking.

This wasn't a lecture.
It was a heads-up.

Would you piss off? My head hurts.

You can't be late, Van.
You just can't.

I'm not going.

Dad hardly ever employs anyone
who doesn't speak Croatian,

and he's giving you a second chance—
Nah, I'm over it.

It's a piece-of-sh*t job
and a f*cking ugly uniform.

Move.
Van, go to work.

Please, Van.

How can I go to work when
I haven't even got a van?

Actually, Dad's got you a new one.

Please, Van.

Please.

Please.

OK, I'll do it. But I want you to
know, I'm only doing this for you.

All for you.
Thanks, babe.

Uh-huh.

See? He's doing it all for me.

Further charges? I thought
they wanted to do a deal.

There was a new line of inquiry —
DC Hickey said you could help.

What's this about?

Sparky's gone missing.

And what's that got to do with you?

Well, at one point,

Sparky may have revealed details of
a certain robbery that took place.

[ Who did he talk to?

Someone who was a police
officer at the time. ]

Was it officially recorded?
No.

OK, then. That conversation
never happened.

Hickey suggests I'm responsible
for Sparky disappearing.

That's ridiculous.
Yeah, it's horse sh*t.

The deal's still on the table.

It's my job to advise you—

No, I won't do it.

They want you to take the deal — why
else would Hickey make up this crap?

Maybe he believes it.

Consider it. m*rder's a serious
charge — pretty much the most
serious.

But if you want to keep running with
it, a m*rder charge with no body —
oh, I'd like to rip that one apart

Check it out — muffin tray,
stainless steel, %.

How is this good?

I dunno. Get Mrs Falani to bake
you some muffins or something.

Bran ones help maintain regularity.

Great, Falani (!)
You want 'em or not?

Yeah, my bowels will thank you.

My children's bowels will thank you.

Stop the sh*t, man.

Bran does the opposite.

Man, you always do this.
Do what?

You go on and on until I don't know
what you're talking about, and then
you rip me off.

Not this time, man. I want
a decent price. Three grand.

For muffin tins?!
No, for this.

You want to sell me
two vans in two days?

Best scam I ever came up with.

Your Dally boss will tear off your
lips and use them as a fan belt.

I'm not listening to your bullshit.

You're not going to b*at me down.

What?
Mental illness in one
so young. Truly a tragedy.

ENGINE STARTS
Move!

I have nothing new to tell you about
Judd or my father or any missing
psychotic arsonist.

Tell me about Hayden Peters.

He went out with my sister.

Pascalle?

No, Loretta. But he did
go out with Pascalle, yeah.

You all right, there, Glen?

Sparky goes missing after a fire
in a dodgy accountant's office

right next door to Peters' office.

He's left the country.

Four months ago, the accountant
was beaten to a pulp in a car park.

Did you know that?
Why would I?

The accountant also developed
a terrible case of amnesia.

Hey. A fire has happened, safes
go missing, people are disappearing.

The one thing we're sure about is
that Wayne Judd was the last person
to see Sparky alive.

(LAUGHS) Glen, that is about the
dumbest thing that you have come up
with in so long.

Something's bugging me here, Jethro.

You see, a big job goes down in
an accountant's office, and you're
connected to all those involved.

Next thing, you have a big wad of
cash ready the moment your father
needs it.

I gave you $ , to start this
business once. I want it back.
Put it in here and bring it to me.

I'm a capable saver.

If I got a warrant, had computer
forensics go through all your trust
accounts,

what do you reckon they'd find?

By end of business tomorrow, our
shares in the take will be locked
away in trust accounts,

safe from prying eyes.

If you had a warrant, you'd use it.

Next time I come back,
I'll have one.

And you know the great thing about
computers? Nothing ever gets erased.

Just give it some thought.

So, if Sparky turns up,
then you didn't k*ll him, right?

How will you find him
if the cops can't?

They don't want to.

But if they do find him,
Sparky could start talking again.

We've got to find him first.

But how will you do
that if the cops can't?

I've found him before,

I'll find him again.

Wasn't he on some God-given mission
to build a church in Wanganui?

Truly a cruel and merciless god.

And didn't you drop him
off at the bus station?

What if he didn't get on the bus?

Cool. This is like Monopoly.

I think you'll find it's Cluedo.

Can I be Professor Mustard?

What if he changed his mind?

Maybe God told him to do something
different, like save dolphins.

What if he got on the wrong bus?

What time did you drop him off?

A little after . Why?

Here it is. . . There's
the Auckland to Wanganui.

Half an hour later,
a bus for Wellington.

Brilliant. So he's in Wellington.

Except on the same day, we have
buses for Whangarei, Whakatane...

Is there, like, a law that every
place in NZ has to start with a W?

There is one law that
Sparky liked to break.

Where's Wairoa?

The right-hand side — the hand
you hold your mascara with.

No, it's the hand I do this with.

Yep, ta.

We getting anywhere?

Well, in the week that Sparky left,
there were six suspicious fires all
over the lower North Island.

But we have a cluster here —
burnt-out car in Whangaparaoa,
public-toilet fire in Waiwera.

They all start with W.

Yeah. And then the Wellsford timber
yard got torched. Where there's
smoke, there could be Sparky.

And the bus to Whangarei
did stop in Wellsford.

I'd better go there.

Waste of time, unless you
want a pie from the bakery.

What do you mean?
They do a good potato-top.

Do you know where Sparky is?

I do know that Sparky used to
go camping with an uncle of his.

Maurice was his name. Taught Sparky
how to start a fire with sticks.

What an inspiration
to little Sparky (!)

Where'd they go camping?

Maurice had a spot in the bush —
middle of nowhere.

On the coast. (WHISPERS)
Started with an H.

I think you'll find it there.

If there's any dinner coming up,
let me know before the pig gets his
snout in the trough.

Oh, hi. You're missing out on
the best game (!) It's called Let's
Find the Sparky in the Haystack.

Hey, Mum.

Well, now you know how
it feels to be in the g*n.

Mum, if I'm connected to that job,
that's it. I'll never practise law
again.

Well, I'm sure you'll manage to
find some other way to be a better
criminal.

Whatever you think, when Dad asked
me for that grand, I had no idea
what he was doing. None.

Bloody Wolf.

Managed to drag everyone
through the sh*t, didn't he?

Mum.

I'm sorry. ]

Wanna stay for tea?

Um, nah, I shouldn't. I'm not
really supposed to be here.

Well, it'll be over soon.

(CHUCKLES) Will it?

Tea's ready.

Fish and chips.

That's not cooking.

Thanks, old man.

What for?

You could have held it all back,
kept the oink in the dark.

How do you know Sparky's up there?

Still appreciate it. Better be
quick if you want a squid ring.

OK, well, call me as soon as you
find him. Sparky's not the most
stable of fellas.

Yeah, wish me luck.
SIRENS BLURT

Oh, f*ck!

This is harassment.
Nah, this is more questions,

and this time we want them
answered at the station.

f*ck off.

Happy to make it official.
For what?

Offensive language, which is grounds
for thr*at to a police officer.
Ring any bells?

I'll be back as soon as I can.

Get in the car.
What?

I'm finding Sparky.

No, Mum. He stinks of kerosene
and is always playing with himself.

Well, I can't drive and read the
map at the same time, so get in.

Yeah, great (!) Bloody wonderful (!)

ENGINE STARTS

I got here as fast as I could.

They got something new?

A walk-by, designed to put
the shits up both of us.

Not even a very subtle one.

Nice little pantomime.

Don't let it get to you.

I'm not planning on it.

Well, no one's heard of anyone who
answers to the name of either Sparky
or Barry Gibbs. sh*t.

But a few months ago, the dairy
owner had a disagreement with
a hairy man

over the change for
a bottle of lighter fluid.

The next day, his rubbish bin
mysteriously b*rned down.

He's here.

Yeah, or somewhere up there.

But where?

How about there?

Ahhh.

So, you reckon your
computer was stolen?

That's right. From my office.
I reported it.

Just before we got a warrant.
How convenient (!)

I don't control larceny, Glen.

We've got your files.

(SIGHS) I've got nothing to hide.

And we'll go to your bank,
ask for your records.

What you have to ask yourself,
Jethro, is how clean is clean?

You can tell us what happened, who
was involved, or we can work it out—
Jethro?

Now, one is better than the other.

According to the records, one Barry
Gibbs comes to see one Detective
Senior Sergeant Judd.

But there's no record of
that conversation, anywhere.

There was nothing worth recording.

My client's already said
that Gibbs was irrational.

Then he compassionately drops
Sparky at the bus station.

Well, that's not a crime, so unless
you have anything more to offer,
we'll be going.

All right.

What? That's it? That's what
you dragged me in here for.

Oh, we'll be in touch again,
and again — as long as it takes.

You really are a—
Wayne.

Excuse us.

ENGINE STARTS

You look about how I feel.

That bad, huh?

Yeah.

I could k*ll a beer. How about you?

BIRDS SING

That uncle was bloody crazy,
camping all the way up here.

It must run in the family.

Oh, sh*t.

Mum, why don't we go back? We don't
even know if we're going the right
way. We'll probably freeze to death

And if that happens—

Shh, shh, shh.

Hear that?

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS ]

I think we've found him.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY

Sparky?

(TURNS MUSIC OFF)

Sparky, it's us.

WHISPERS: Cheryl West?

Yeah, and Loretta.

You're so pink.

It was a bit of
a trek getting up here.

I can't talk to you!

I... I can't talk to anyone. Oh,
sh*t! I'm talking! My vow of silence
is buggered!

Calm down, Sparky.
Of course you can talk to me.

He told me to stay away, forever.

God did?
No, Wolf did.

He said, 'Begone! Speak to no one!'

Since when did that bastard
know everything? Ha! Anything?

He was wrong about the church.

The hewing of wood.

Don't they deliver up here?

It's the trees, Cheryl!

They don't like to be hewed,
ripped from their beautiful mother,
the Earth!

They're busy drinking from
the great orb, talking to God!

You see? That's another
thing Wolf was wrong about.

You think he's a false prophet?

I think he's a lying prick, and he
had no right to do this to you.

It's been lonely up here,
even with the trees.

You know what I think
you need, Sparky?

You need a nice hot shower
and a lovely home-cooked meal.

You'd give me those?

Yeah, sure, if you come with us.

Would you give me...
something right now, Cheryl?

What's that, Sparky?

Would you hold me and would you put
your lovely pink arms around me?

Sure. Why not?

Oh!
(INHALES DEEPLY)

Mmm. Ripe.

Oh, lovely. Oh, it's so
very good. Oh, great God!

Yeah, yeah. Righto. Righto.

Do you smell so good?

No. No f*cking way.

Sparky!
Mum.

Put this around you and get what you
need. You can sniff her in the car.

I'm not sitting next to him.

Well, you can drive, then.

I know Hickey's full of sh*t.
I know it's a big fishing trip.
But he's not giving up.

Yeah, well, he's got
a few scores to settle.

If he turns over my bank records,
he might just get there.

Where's that?

Money from the job. It went
through various trust accounts.

Did you come out with much?

Even if I did, it wouldn't be
worth losing my career over.

(CHUCKLES) At least I'm not being
threatened with a m*rder charge.

Yeah, small mercies, eh?

I really didn't think it
would end up like this.

Have you spoken to Wolf
since he's been in Waikeria?

I've seen him a couple of times.

He's hard to talk to.

[ Why's that?

He just doesn't like it when
things aren't going his way.

PHONE RINGS

Hey, Cheryl.
We've found him.

Sparky?
Yep, so we'll be letting Detective
d*ck know you're not a m*rder*r.

How do you know what
Sparky will say?

I'll sort it.

Cheryl, Sparky's a nutbar.

I'll take care of it.
We'll see you soon, eh?

Mum all right?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You sort things with her?

I guess you can say we've got
more common ground than we did.

That can't be too bad, eh?

Nah.

[ What the f*ck are you doing here?

I'm watching a show about seals.

All they ever do is eat fish,
swim, eat fish, swim.

No, why aren't you at work?

Oh, I couldn't be f*cked.
Got Draska to do my run for me.

It's better than having her
here nagging on about drinking.

Hey, old people eat muffins, eh?

Do you reckon some fellas down
the Janet Frame might want— Ow!

f*ck! What the f*ck are you doing?

Hitting you, you prick!
Why?

Because she cares about you.
Who?!

Draska, you dickhead!

She cares so much that she begged
her dad to hire you. She even made
that deal with Mum.

What deal?

Draska told Mum that she'd sort
you out, stop you from drinking,
if she'd stop being a bitch to her.

Bullshit.
No. That's how much she loves you.

No, she just wanted a root,
cos she's a slut.

No, she is not. You f*ckin'
heartless prick. She loves you!

She wants to marry you, and she
thinks that if she just tries hard
enough, you'll love her back.

EMOTIONALLY: And you should think
about that. About who you love.

Because otherwise
it's just f*cking mean.

You're crying about Draska?

No, you f*cking d*ck,
I'm crying for you.

Ah! f*ck!
What's happened to you?

I don't know you any more.

And if Aurora was here,
she wouldn't know you either.

You are not my brother.

Not any more.

DRASKA: Van?

Honey?

Van? Hey, baby. Um, I've done
all the deliveries, and I've loaded
the van for your run in the morning.

I'm done, Draska.

Done with what?

I can't do this any more.

Babe.

Dad is gonna be so pissed.

But my Uncle Stefan actually needs
someone to work at his factory.

Not the job. This.

I don't love you, Draska.

You've been drinking. You're always
talking sh*t when you're drinking.

It's the truth, Draska.

I don't love you.

OK? I love Aurora,
and I always will.

I'm never going to get over her,
and if I did get over her, I still
wouldn't love you, OK?

I'm never going to
marry you, not ever.

So, you know... Sorry.

And, uh, you should
probably go or something.

Van, stand up and look at me.

Let's not do the big goodbye sh*t,
OK? There's nothing more to say.

Van, stand up and look at me.

CRUNCH!

(GROANS)

(GROANS)

OK?

Yeah, fine.

Tell your mum thanks for having me,
and sorry I didn't come through with
my part of the deal.

Yeah.

And, um, your wedding.

I still want you to
be my bridesmaid. I do.

Yeah. I don't.

I can't. Sorry.

I guess.

Are you going home?

I might go to Paulie
Janovic's place first.

Paulie the panel beater?
Yeah.

He still have that orange Monaro?

Yeah, and he dumped his girlfriend
last week, so I thought I'd see him.

See you later, Pascalle.
Be happy with Bruce.

Yeah.

Bye, Draska.

To begin, when you came to speak
to Detective Judd, what did you
discuss, exactly?

I, uh, I came to talk to Detective
Judd about something I'd gotten
into.

Something big.
And what was that?

God!
Sorry?

I wanted Detective Judd to know
that I had found the Greater Spirit.

So we talked about that, yeah.

What else?

CHERYL: You talked
about building a church.

Oh!

And I talked about how I was going
to build a church. That didn't work
out so good.

And you talked about...?
Confessing?

Painting. Come on, Sparky.
Concentrate.

Yeah! And we talked
about my iconography.

Actually, do you fellas want me to
do something on these walls? They're
very plain. Maybe a mural.

The Renunciation of
the Devil. (CHUCKLES)

Or nature in all her naked wonder!

Barry! Barry.

I want to ask about a fire in
an accountant's office last year,
October th, a Tuesday.

Where were you that night?

October ?

Tuesday?

(GASPS) Les Soirees de Margrette!

Sorry, what?

I remember, cos Tuesday's half-price
at the movies. Les Soirees de
Margrette.

It's a French film.

Really? Tell me about it.

Well, the heroine is this
French chick, Margrette.

She plays cello.

And her husband...

Her husband's name is Rene. He's
your classic existential anti-hero.

For Christ's sake.

He's tall and has a really big nose.

Anyway, he doesn't really
understand his wife's passions,

so she embarks on a string of
increasingly masochistic affairs
with members of the wind section.

The guy on the oboe — (CHUCKLES) —
well, he's a real cantankerous old
bastard.

Can we get that meal now?

I know something happened.

I know your hands are dirty,
and your dodgy son. Only a matter
of time for him and you.

What's going on?
Nothing.

Hickey liked the sound of that
movie. I bet he'll rent it.

Just get in the car
with Loretta, Sparky.

Is Jethro all right?

Yeah. It'll be fine. Don't worry.

OK. See you at home.

That's a wall needs cheering up.
What about a mural?

God growing up through the trees.
Bit of Lemmy peeping through.

Interesting.

Sparky. Sparky? Listen. If you're
going to stay here, you need to go
and have that shower,

and no painting on
the walls, please.

He's staying here?

Mum promised, if he came
through with Hickey.

(INHALES DEEPLY) Pink! Spicy.

Sparky!

God, he's mental as ever.

Yep.

What took you so long?
I thought you got a better offer.

You're here a lot for somebody
who shouldn't be here.

It's OK. He's not
a witness any more.

Why not?

Uh, because there's not
going to be any trial.

What?
I took the deal.
That's where I've been.

But hey, at least it's another
grand we won't owe Des.

Yeah, but you didn't want to make
a deal. And, you know, the m*rder
charge has gone away.

But Hickey hadn't.

But now he has. Cops were backing
out real fast once Des started
talking more harassment,

misuse of police power.

And now we can all get pissed.

Cheers.

So, are you going to start
doing my ironing again?

(LAUGHS)

Don't you push your luck.

CHERYL: Thank you.

For keeping my no-good
son out of prison.

You're a good man.

(CHUCKLES) Don't sound so surprised.

You lost a shitload of money,
put aside your principles.

Principles be stuffed.
It's a matter of arse.

Of what?
Arse.

Your sexy arse.
Ah.

Better I stay out of jail,
spend more time with this arse.
It's a bloody bargain, mate.