03x18 - Who Calls Me Villain?

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Outrageous Fortune". Aired: 12 July 2005 – 9 November 2010.*
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Series followed the lives of the career criminal West family after the matriarch, Cheryl, decided the family should go straight and abide by the law.
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03x18 - Who Calls Me Villain?

Post by bunniefuu »

Wanna buy it?

million.
mil?

It's a fair price.

Vern know you diddled
him out of his patch?

There's one more thing. The
money Mum owes you — it's gone.

Aren't you the good son?

What did you do?
I made Gary a lot of money,
so now he owes me.

POP!
He's a player now.

I'll call you tomorrow.
Mm-hm.

Right. Let's unleash hell.

Treena.

You stay away from me,
you f*cking sick f*ck.

Towel rail, eh?
Yep. Nothing to it.

You'd think a man would be able
to fix his own towel rail.

Jethro's not a man. He's a w*nk*r.

(CHUCKLES) Hey, it's council lady.

Oh yeah.

Hey, what's she got in her hand?
Hey, this is our job, man.

I don't think she's
after the towel rail, eh.

She needs screws.

I think she's gonna trash your
brother's car. We should stop her.

Yeah.

BOTH LAUGH

Hey, that's my brother's
car you're smashing up there.

I know, dickbreath.

Hey, you watch your language,
council lady.

Why are you smashing his car up for?

He f*cking deserves it.

That is one angry council lady.

BOTH WAIL

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Yeah. We tried to stop her, eh,
but she was too quick for us.

What'd you do?
Nothing.

Yeah. I may just be a humble
tradesman, but nothing does not
usually end up in a smashed-up car.

And someone had given her the bash.
Not me.

Did you dump her?

Look, I'm not on with her.

Were you alone in bed last night?

I've got a hell of a hangover.
Can we take this downstairs?

Yeah— But what about
your towel rail?

She had a pretty good hammer arm,
eh? She must work out.

OK. Thanks.

So what about the towel rail?

What about dealing to my car?

We're home handy.

If it was your fence, it
would be a different story. ]

Hey, there.

Hey.

Uh, thought we could do brunch.

Uh...

sh*t. What happened?

Oh, nothing.

Total nothing. Big nothing.

Just having a bit of
trouble with a client.

Eh. It's a council thing.

This is my brother, Van.

Oh, hi. Danielle.

Pleased to meet you.

I'm Munter, eh.

Munter?
Yeah. ]

Right. Heard a lot about you too.

Not that much.

Shall we go in?

Uh, look, I've got a couple of
things I've got to sort out, so,
um, can we catch up later on today?

OK.

See you.
[ See you.

f*ckin' wankers.

TV: Reach and stretch,

and sprinkle that stardust.

Mrs Watson is giving
it a good old sprinkle.

She is so courageous. She keeps on
knitting, despite her hearing and
speech deficits.

She said this colour
really suits me.

Oh, she's blind as well.

Just because you're fat and pregnant
doesn't mean you have to be a bitch.

I love this part.

No matter what our age,
we can all reach and stretch.

Who made this crap?

My friend Mr Purvis. ]

Pervy by name...

And it's not crap.

The sh*ts are OK.

He just loves mucking round
with cameras and computers.

That's not all he wants
to muck around with.

Shh. Listen.

We can all reach out and touch,

even people with limited mobility.

We just have to reach out
and touch every day.

And coming in for the bazooka sh*t.

Hot to trot, pervy boy!

Why do you guys need to
make everything so icky?

Someone has to hang it out there.

What about, like, love and kindness
and spirits communicating?

They were tit sh*ts.

Well, thank goodness
I have to go to work.

They were tit sh*ts!

You're hard at it on a Sunday.

Needs must.

I like this place, Cheryl. Reminds
me of when I was starting out.

It's got milk. I guess
you don't have sugar.
Thanks.

Would it have been so bad
to have me pump in capital?

I thought you needed capital.

Hmm. You don't miss much, do you?

Is that meant to be a compliment?

Just trying for small talk, Cheryl.

I can't work out why you came
down here to make small talk.

Pleasure of your company.
Piss off.

Thing about you, Cheryl,
you're an inspiration.

Lot of people, their kids don't
listen to a word they say, but
yours,

they go out on a limb for you.

What's that meant to mean?

That deal Jethro pulled
together was very ambitious.

Worth a mil. I didn't know
he had that much lying around.

No, no, no. He was brokering
that deal for someone else.

Is that what he said?

He's sharp. But there's only one
person he was doing it for.

OK. Ready?

And up, and up.

And boogie, boogie,
boogie, jump, down.

And up! And boogie, boogie,
boogie, jump, down.

And up! And boogie, boogie.

And now we're freestyling! Whoo!

That's it, Mrs Cleary.
Moving those hips.

And Mr Purvis, joining in now.

You're ruining my focus!

Pascalle?

Miss West?

MUSIC STOPS, ALL GROAN

I'm afraid it's time to stop.

We haven't warmed down.

Well, the chapel group
have this booked for . .

It's only . , you stupid pillock.

They're having a video on
the rocky road to redemption.

Bloody Bible-bashers.

Mr Purvis—

Are you in with them?

OK, everyone. Finishing up now.
Let's go back to our rooms. Breathe
and stretch.

That's right, Mrs Watson.

Can I see you in
my office, Pascalle?

This doesn't have to be a big deal.
We can just move the class earlier.

That's not why I needed to see you.

OK.

I had a complaint from
Mrs Watson's daughter.

About the theft of a mohair throw.
Some kind of rug, I assume.

It's more of a shawl.

You know about it?
Mrs Watson gave it to me.

Oh, well, apparently she
promised it to her daughter.

Mrs Watson's daughter is an evil,
grasping bitch who never visits.

I have to look into any complaint.

Did you ask Mrs Watson?

I had a glance at
your file, Pascalle.

You first came here on community
service. What was that for?

Nothing.

You got community service
for nothing?

It was just a misunderstanding at
a shop. Some things fell into my
boots. They're wide at the leg.

I see.

But I'm a different person now.
I don't need as much make-up.

A word of advice, Pascalle. The
elderly are easily confused and
taken advantage of.

I didn't even want it.
Mrs Watson made me.

Then you won't mind bringing
it back tomorrow?

Fine.

Along with any other items
that fell into your boots.

What is that supposed to mean?
I think you heard me.

I'm not some fat, thieving ho-bag.

I'd never call you fat, Pascalle.

I'm not a thief.

Return the items,
this goes no further.

Well, well. Look at you.

Coffee?
Uh, no, thanks.

You certainly tied
one on last night.

Yeah.

What happened?
You don't know?

Well, I wouldn't be asking if I did.

Right.

Well, the last I saw, you'd met up
with the lovely Treena, and you were
heading off to the toilets.

Why would I do that?

Why do blokes go to the ladies'
in the club? You tell me.

So when did I leave?

Dunno. I buggered off.
Three's a crowd.

Well, nothing happened.

You think I'd bleat
about this, Jethro?

I won't say anything to Danielle,
if that's what you're worried about.
That is what you're worried about?

How did you hurt yourself?

How'd you know?

I can see you shielding.

Uh, I don't know.
It's all a bit of a blur.

Bet Gary's fine.

What makes you say that?

It's his MO. It's all party on,
then you're the one who suffers.

CELLPHONE BEEPS

What is it?

It's nothing.

Hello, my friend.

It is good I should meet you,
because I am going to call.

Oh. Uh, Mr Doslic, this
is my friend Danielle.

Pleased to meet you, lovely lady.

We have great news in our community.

The Croatian Society hosts an
international festival of the
accordion.

Wow. That's great.

Yes. Great gathering, much music.
A little drinking, perhaps.

Have you seen our clubs room?
Um, no.

This is good, because it's sh*t.

But it will be state of the arts
when we draw on society funds.

I'm not sure of the
figures at the moment.

We'll do a beautiful festival.
You will have a free tickets.

Well, thank you. I can't wait.

Yeah. I'll call you first thing.

OK.

You are clearly the man to know.
Yeah.

CELLPHONE BEEPS

Client.

Look, I—
You want to go? Can't
face the creme brulee.

I'll make it up to you, I promise.

Yeah. I'll hold you to it.

CHERYL: Hey, love. Hope you're
good. Can you give me a call?

DIALS PHONE

Hi. This is Treena.
If you're cute, call me back.

Uh, yeah, hi. This is Jethro.

Look, um,...

whatever happened last night,
uh, we should sort this.

OK? So, um, call me back.

Having a clear-out?
Piss off.

It's like a b*mb went
off in an op shop.

There's been this stupid complaint,
and I have to take all of this stuff
back. They're going to be so upse.

Worth a few bob.

Give it back.
You don't want it.

Mr Purvis gave it to me.

What's he getting in return, eh?
A few bed baths.

Rub-a-dub-dub, eh?

It's not like that. He likes me for
who I am, and I haven't had sex with
any of them.

I'm really worried about you.
This job is screwing with your head.

I love my job.

What happened to the girl who did
over the make-up section at the
chemist?

I'm not like that any more.

I'll take it off your hands for .
?

If she used even a tiny
bit of her brain cells,

she'd figure out that she
doesn't have to take it back.

How?

Is dorky Derek a cop?

No. He's a nurse manager.

Can nurse managers come round
and search your room?

Oh, right. Of course.

A hundred for the china.
Piss off. They're mine.

Yay. Finally.
Hey.

Hey. You recovered?

Getting there.

Brought these around
for the Isengard sale.

That's fast work.

Well, no time like the present, eh?

It's a lot of money to
raise in a short time.

It's not like I've just got a whole
lot of handy accounts I can just dip
into.

No rush for these?

It's just if I don't
get it settled—

You thinking of going
somewhere else with this?

Nah. Why would I?

Well, you're not above
a bit of two-timing.

(CHUCKLES) What? You
think that's funny?

sh*t. Defensive.

Why would I sleep with
a woman I don't like?

Wouldn't stop some guys. If
the bitch is up for it, why not?

Yeah, well. I'm not like that.

Of course not. Thanks for
these. I'll get on to it.

OK.

I will need a bank cheque, uh,
direct transfer from our society
fund.

How much?

All of it.

OK. Well, according to
the rules of your society,

your treasurer is the only person
that can make withdrawals of over
.

He is in Croatia, and my cousin
has a window to start building
next week.

Well, maybe your treasurer could
fax me through an authorisation.

You calling me a liar?

Your society has rules.
I'm meant to follow them.

OK. I get the form.

Great. And you'll have
a wonderful festival.

Are you sarcastic
about the accordion?

No. No, no. Not at all.

Good. Because in that case,
I would punch you.

Hello, Cheryl.

Mr D. How are you?

I'm well, and my family also. And
we celebrate because our loving
and virtuous daughter is engaged.

Which one's that, then?

We have only one. Draska
will marry Paulie Janovic.

They are fine family, with
many panel-b*ating branches.

That's great. Great. And convenient.

I only care for my daughter's
happiness. I'll be back for my
money.

What money's that?

Croatian Society. Corky
handled their accounts.

Jesus. There was still some left?

Look, Mum, it's really good
to see you, but I'm quite busy.

This deal you're doing.
Who are you brokering it for?

That's not important.
Gary said it was worth about a mil.

Why's Gary talking to you about it?

Is this some kind of dark secret?

Look, Mum, I did this deal so
that you didn't have to worry.

Yeah. I know that—
So stop worrying. OK?

It's a done deal. It'll be fine.
You better not be bullshitting—

Jesus, Mum. Stop worrying. OK?

It's fine.

I do. I really do, and I wouldn't
give it back unless I had to. ]

No. Please don't cry. Look, I'll
go make you a cup of tea, OK?

What's going on, angel?

Mrs Watson thinks I don't
like her knitting.

Was this the lovely blanket?
You noticed.

You look a treat in pink.

Brings out the roses in your cheeks.

But now her daughter's going to
get it. She's the thief, not me.

Who said that?

Was it him? That Pommy jerk?

I can't burden you with
my professional issues.

Of course you can.

No, really. I can't.

I'm going to go get
Mrs Watson her tea.

You jumped-up rodent—
Mr Purvis.

I know your sort. Get your kicks
from making girls cry. You bully.

If you have a grievance,
let's take this to my office.

Let's take it outside. Now!
Go to your room.

You don't pick on my girl
and get away with it.

This is ridiculous.

(GRUNTS)

Ow! Mr Purvis! Help!

Jethro.

What can I do for you?

You think you can screw me
and get away with it?

I never screwed you, Vern.

What about your Hippocratic oath?
That's doctors.

You conned me, you bastard.

No. You engaged me to stop a book
that would tarnish your reputation

and expose you to criminal charges.
I did that.

I told you I'd never sell my land.

You didn't sell it. You gifted it.
And a number of women that hate your
guts

won't be charging you
with r*pe and sodomy.

Was Savage in on
this the whole time?
What the f*ck?

Did Savage put you up to this?
He'd do it. I know he would.

Vern, this is bullshit.

Didn't sound like that when he came
up to me to gloat about how he was
getting my land cheap.

Vern! I have to go.

I'll have you struck off!

CAR ENGINE STARTS

I'll have you struck off, you
unprincipled piece of low-life sh*t!

Matzo ball?
No, thanks.

Kosher delicacies. I sometimes
wonder if that is a contradiction
in terms.

And you're not listening
to me at all, are you?

Sorry.

It still hurts?

Yeah.

This is nasty.

Ow.

You must have been out of it.

Yeah. Maybe I wasn't just drunk.

What are you talking about?

Some kind of drug.

With Gary? No way.

Are you OK?

Yeah. Just have this feeling
like everything's imploding.

PHONE RINGS

Thanks.

Jethro West.

I got your message. We should
talk about what happened.

Thanks for calling me back.

You're a f*cking creep, you know
that? Acting like this is my
fault.

Maybe we could get together.

You think I want to be alone with
you? You are sick and dangerous.

I just want to make this better.

How about going to the cops
and turning yourself in?

Treena—
You might want to bury
this, but I sure won't.

PHONE CALL ENDS

Crazy client.

Called Treena.

Yeah. It's just some stuff.
Gone a bit pear-shaped.

Don't do this to me.
Danielle—

Do you want to tell
me what's going on?

I can't.
Why not?

Because it's too f*cked in the head.

Well, I'd rather know that you were
crazy than you were lying to me.

Cool.

Danielle...

sh*t. Look...

Here's how it feels.

On the way to Matamata, um, there's
a stretch of highway, and all the
signs are pointing to Tahuna.

This is the crazy bit?

I get the feeling that Gary doesn't
like that I've done this deal, and
he's trying to take me down.

It's not direct, but,
um, all the signs...

...are going to Tahuna.

It's ridiculous, I know.

What's he done to you?

You can't help me.
I'll call you, OK?

Hello, Miss Traynor. You're looking
lovely. Have a good night.

Derek, what happened to you?

What? I didn't do anything!

I'm really really sorry,
and I'll talk to Mr Purvis.

You will not.
He's been arrested?

There was argument for it,
but I said no.

He's just way smart,
and he gets frustrated.

Helping with that?

Are you trying to be smutty?
No.

You're implying about handjobs.

Pascalle, you're a very attractive
young woman. Very attractive.

But you're overly familiar,
particularly with men.

You hold no qualifications in
nursing. Which leads me to another
matter. Your classes.

What?

They've not been checked by
a physio, so they will cease
forthwith.

But everybody loves them!

It's a health and safety issue.

No one's been hurt, and only one
person has d*ed, but he had a heart
condition.

We'll wrap it up here, Pascalle.

But it's not their fault that
they're old, and this is wrong.

Well, if you don't like it,
you know what you can do.

No. What?

Nothing.

Just stay away from Alistair Purvis.

Thanks.

Gidday.

This is the genuine article.

Saving your money for
the big investments?

Maybe.

What can I do you for?

Um, Treena's talking
about going to the cops.

sh*t.
Yeah. So I need details.

What bar we went to. What time we
got there. When you last saw me.

OK. We hit the club about .
Ochre on K Rd.

Then I left about half past.

All right. And I was going
to the toilets. Ladies'?

Yeah. Listen, Jethro, if this comes
to anything, you were with me the
whole time.

End of story. OK?

You'd do that?
What do you think? I'm on your side.

How'd you run into Vern?

sh*t. There's a tangent.

You told him you
were buying his land.

He was being a sanctimonious prick.

You think I wouldn't take
the chance to get one over him?

Yeah. He's talking Law Society.

That's my f*ckin' fault, is it?
You're in sh*t here, but you should
ask yourself who made this cock-up.

I'm not the one who ripped off
client funds. That's what you did,
huh? Your clients authorise that?

You pull one on Vern, then you
dip your wick into the wrong girl.

Who did that, mate? You did. All
of it. So don't go blaming me. OK?
Thanks for the beer.

What's all that sh*t 'If you don't
like it, you know what to do'? It's
like he wants me gone.

Well, maybe cos he does.

Why doesn't he just fire me, then?

Because that would mean, like,
warnings, letters and $ million
in lawyers' fees.

What?

It's hard to fire people these days.
Why do you think I keep all my
useless staff on casual contracts?

So Derek wants me to quit.

If you walk, he can't get slapped
with unjustified dismissal.

Oh, that is so sneaky.

His other option is to restructure
your job out, but I guess they
always need people to wipe butts.

I do more than that! Much more.

Maybe that's why he hates you too.

What? For caring?

Because you're putting out
for Mr Purvis and not him.

Why do you bring everything back
to sex? Is it a side effect of
pregnancy?

No. I just understand the
baseness that is human nature.

Well, you're wrong. Because good and
beautiful will always win over yuck
and bad.

You and Derek are not going to make
me give up my career cos you're
evil.

DRILL BUZZES

sh*t. d*ck. What are you
doing sneaking up on me?

I live here. Remember?

Oh yeah.

Hey, here's your towel rail.

Why are you doing it now?

Oh, Mum said I had to, cos the
sun's shining out of your butt.

But, then, I was thinking if the sun
really did shine out your bum,

then you wouldn't need a towel, cos
your bum would be hot all the time.

[ Are you stoned?

Uh, I had a couple of puffs
for concentration, yep.

You got any more?

What? You want to
smoke a joint with me?

Well, I'm not nicking anything for
you. Or dumping any chicks for you.

I don't want you to.

Oh, I know. You want to get me
wasted so you don't have to pay me.
Right?

Yep.

Take it, while I've still got some.

So what's the trick?

There's no trick. All right? I'm
in a bit of sh*t, and I want to get
wasted. Is that so hard to get?

You're in the sh*t?

Money, career, the works.

You remember Treena? The windscreen?

Oh.

Couldn't you get it fixed?

Just light the joint.

OK. So let me get this straight.
Council lady says that you got nasty
with her.

Right? But if you didn't, then
that's pretty f*ckin' mean, man.
Even for a council lady.

Yeah.

So why would she do that?

What? Apart from that she hates me?

She rooted you.

Not any more.

What? So she tries to get you back
by rooting you? Or saying that you
rooted her.

The point is, Van, there's one kind
of root that leads to criminal
charges.

Oh, you—

Whoa.

Did you?

I can't remember.

You don't forget a root. Even a bad
root. Especially a bad root. Jethro?

I was out of it.

Then you couldn't have done it.

I mean, everyone knows you can't go
the distance when you're wasted.

You didn't.

You wouldn't.

Well, I could've.

A while ago.

Yeah. You do have a nasty side.

Your Chinese burn side.

Not any more.

No more Chinese burns?

I think I'm, uh, I'm in love with
someone. It's the first time it's
happened to me.

You've had heaps of girlfriends.

I never loved them.
Yeah?

Yeah. That's why I can't believe...

I couldn't have done this.

I wouldn't.

That's not going to
stop me going to prison.

You wouldn't handle that, man.

All those heavy dudes.

And the showers. (GIGGLES)

And—
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't
need to do the soap thing, Van.

I could do it.

Jail. Not the soap thing.

You'd go to prison for me?

Yeah. Well, you've done stuff for
me before when I was f*cked up.

Van, that's a stupid idea.

Yeah. You're probably right.

Wait. I'm having another one.

What you gotta do is not tell anyone
about this and then prove you didn't
do it, and then you'll be sweet.

(LAUGHS)

(LAUGHS)
That's brilliant.

Yeah.

Yeah. It's a shame it's
f*ckin' impossible.

Did you fix it?
What?

Thought you went round to Jethro's.

Oh, yeah. We had a heap
of stuff to work through.

It's just a towel rail.

No, yeah. The Gib was a bit rooted.

Life's bigger than a towel rail.

There's heaps more hanging on it.

Hold on. Van.

What the f*ck are you on about?

Nothing.

Just the major sh*t that Jethro's
in. You do not talk about.

What major sh*t?

Oh, and the towel rail —
sweet as a nut.

DOOR CLOSES

We had two clients lined
up this morning.

I told you, man.
It's life and death.
Electrics?

Nah, nah. But you're going
to be so into it, man.

It's a fence!

But they already got fences, bro.

Shut the f*ck up.
Get down. It's her!

Oh, bro. It's the council lady.

Yeah. She's after Jethro.

I thought she already got him.

She's done bad sh*t, man.

We gotta follow her.
Get evidence. Like, um, CSI.

Oh, nah. They don't follow.
They just get the evidence.

Then that's what we're doing. Go!

Then why didn't you say so, man?
It's nearly as good as a fence.

Where's my money?

Uh, I still haven't received
a fax from your treasurer, so...

Why is there no money in our bank?

Uh...
I check on our account.
There is nothing there.

I noticed your funds hadn't been
touched, so I reinvested the money.

Where is this investment?

It's a property. It'll
mature quite soon.

Bullshit.
No. It's true.

If the money doesn't go back by
tomorrow to an account, I will
talk to the police.

OK. Fine.
And you will hear from my sons,
Slavko and Tomislav.

They are accordion champions in the
duo. And also have a strong fist in
the duo.

OK.
To think we have a P-head lawyer,
then thieving lawyer.

If we want this kind of service,
we could stay in Croatia.

Mum. Hi. ]

I took a short-term risk on a
long-term gain, OK? It'll work out.

That's not what Van said last night.

Van? Van was out of it, all right?

Even if he is off his face,
he's trustworthy.

Mum!
Is this you wanting to be a better
criminal than your f*cking dad?

No!
You swear?

Is that what you think?
I don't know what to f*cking think.
You close off.

Listen to me. If you are in the
sh*t because of me, I need to know.

OK. I'm not going to lie to you.

All right. Things aren't good.
But it's not cos of you.

Gary's involved?

Look, I can dig my way out, OK?

But, um,...

if I've made mistakes, they weren't,
um,... they weren't all for the
wrong reasons, all right?

Triple word! You just
slay me, Miss Traynor.

[ Pascalle, I'd like a word.

His son Jeff has come from
Christchurch, but he won't
open the door.

What do you want me to do about it?

You have to tell him that
it's in his best interests.

Bugger off, you bastards!

It's me. Pascalle. Can I come in?

Now, what's going on?

I've got me marching orders.
They're throwing me out.

No.

My son's come up to take me away. To
the flatlands, the grid-ridden plain
of evil.

Where's that?
Christchurch.

Why do you have to go?

You don't want me to?

No. I'd miss you! Heaps.

I've been thinking. We could go
away. Get a place together. Little
flat somewhere.

Just us?

I know there's a difference in our
ages, and I haven't got much money,
but I haven't got a lot of time.

Don't talk like that.

You must know I love you, Pascalle.

Deeply and passionately.

Well, I love you too,
just not quite like that.

Oh.

No. It was a silly idea.

No, no. It wasn't. It's just
I've got a place with my mum.

Oh, you wouldn't leave her.
Of course you couldn't.

If you go to Christchurch,
I can visit.

I don't know that
I'll last that long.

To tell you the honest truth,
you're all that's kept me going.
Your goodness and your vitality.

Mr Purvis...

Call me Alistair. Just once.

You can fight this, Alistair.

You have to know when
you're beaten, love.

Well, I'm not.

Better tell Jeff he can come in now.

I could get to like this place.

Yeah. Used to be my local.

You didn't ask me here to
talk about the scenery. sh**t.

You're right. I can't blame anyone
else for the crap I'm in.

If this is about your spot of bother
with Treena, that offer still
stands. We were out all night.

She framed me.
Yeah?

Yeah. Drugged me.
It's what I figure.

Only thing I can't work out
is how she got me upstairs.

That would have been hard work on
her own. Yeah. That, and how she
bruised her own face.

That's quite a story.

Yeah. But it's not something
I could ever prove.

I'm over-extended. I need to
settle this deal or I'm f*cked.

Thought you didn't trust me.

I came to you first.

Points for that. Jethro, if you
want fast cash, we might have to
renegotiate.

Thought you'd say that.

I'd be the one taking
a hammering on interest.
How much?

Closer to a mil. That's all
I can do at short notice.

I need a million plus.

For your mum?

Yep.

You may want to put some change
towards a political donation.
Vern for mayor.

Why would I do that?

Could be worth it,
not to lose your ticket.

Nah. Mum's debt's more important.

It's not an issue any more.
Why?

She came to see me today. Yeah.
It was good to catch up.

My terms are a share of
the business. Nothing dodgy.

And you are not selling
it from underneath me.

Why would I do that?

Thought you needed the cash.

I'll find it.

And I'm in charge. Everything
has to be run by me. Everything.

I wouldn't expect anything less.

Oh, and one more thing. Jethro.

What about him?

She's a good woman, your mum.
She's fond of you, all right.

I put in the new amount
on the sale and purchase.

We can initial the changes,
unless you want to redraw them.

(LAUGHS) No. Let's just
get this settled, eh?

So we're all square, then?

Yeah.

Good man. Bloody good chips.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Yep.
You know I hate you.

Yeah. Pretty clear on that.

But I've decided not to take
this thing any further.
What changed your mind?

If it went to court, I'd
only end up being the victim.

Is that right?
You deserve to suffer.

You're a sh*t with women.

If you say so.

DOOR LOCK CLICKS

Hey, bro.
Did I give you guys a key?

We've been on the job for you, man.

We've been following the suspect.
The council lady. To get the proof.

You're serious about that?

Yeah. But bit of a waste of time.

All she did was shopping.

No. She went to the travel agent,
before she bought the bikini

and the sunglasses and
the luggage and the iPod.

But so we had to go back to basics.

Hey, bro. What's this?

Oh, that's a cock ring, bro.

Where does that go?

Yeah. That place was real tidy, eh.

Apart from the sex stuff,
and the dr*gs.

Yeah.

Hey, bro. Check this out.

What dr*gs?
Paracetamol, special K,
evening primrose—

Ketamine?
Yeah. Look, don't go there, bro.
You know it's horse tranquiliser.

No, no, no. We can't take that.
Go on. It's OK.

Nah. We didn't get any proof.

We gave up a shitload of work today
to watch some chick do her holiday
shop. Thanks, Jed.

[ She must be going somewhere warm.
Yeah.

I hope you know what you've done.
You took away an old man's hope.

There are good facilities
in the South Island.

Who cares about that? It is about
respect and treating people like
they're people,

even if they're wrinkly, even if
they have to drink their tea through
a straw.

Mr Purvis stuck up for me because
he cares, and you hate me.

I don't hate you.

Well, it's not fair.

And I would do anything
if you would let him stay.

♪ I pray for love.

You'd do anything?
Yep.

♪ Shine on everyone. ♪

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

How is it your fault, love?

You have a lot of life left in
you. You have to remember that.

Even if Christchurch is flat
and full of murderers.

(CHUCKLES)

Oh.

Sometimes it is like I'm still .

How is that fair?

Well, nothing's fair.

It's all you, so you should have it.
Oh, no, no. I couldn't.

No. Don't worry. I've still
got copies on the computer.

♪ Face-down in an unmade bed.

♪ I've been thinking about the
lunatics crawling around my head.

Hi.

Hi.

Another bar mitzvah?

Rotary. % pork products.

How was Tahuna?

Uh, went there, got screwed over.

It was bad?

Something good came out of it.

What was that?

I realised, um, that I love you.

sh*t.
Yeah.

I'm not rich any more, though.

You think I give a f*ck about that?

♪ Where do we go from here

♪ if it all breaks down?

♪ Where do we go from here? ♪

POP!

CHEERING

It's the real stuff. The good stuff.

Big occasion, Kasey. You've
got to have the real stuff.

He must believe in us.

Yeah. Seems to.

Oh, here he is. Just
in time for a glass.

Trust a lawyer, huh?

Cheers.

I'm f*ckin' sorry it
worked out like this.

Out of trouble?

Yeah.

It's all I care about.
Rest is just money.

Come on. I need a smoke.

No matter what life throws at you,
heartache, disappointment, even a
broken engagement to a doctor.

there is always something
positive. You may feel that
because you're old...

Go that guru.

f*ck up.

That's not very positive.

(SIGHS) You were right. He was
in love with me, Mr Purvis.

What a surprise.

Derek was too.

Uh, another bolt from the blue.

f*ck up.
I didn't do this.

No. I did.

I could have done it. A little
handjob, maybe even a blow job.

Would it have been so
bad to save Mr Purvis?

Why do you waste it all on them?
You're young, gorgeous.

Ew! Ew!

'I kind of had to quit.'

sh*t.
Not that you care. You think the
whole world is bad and horrible.

That's right. It's all my fault. ]

So no matter how bad life seems,

there's always something good and
beautiful, like a walk in the
sunshine,

or a fluffy kitten on a rainy day.
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