04x02 - The Edge of Husbandry

[bunniefuu]

This is Milt — my adorable and
completely wonderful new husband.

Hi.
We took a trip to Las Vegas
in his private jet.

So he is loaded?

Hey, Mr West. Milton Delaney III.

What sort of a stupid name is that?

I'd like to take this opportunity
to welcome Milt into our family.

I'm sure we'll all
make him very welcome. ]

You don't marry someone
you've known for four weeks.

It's five weeks, and you
knocked up Mum in less time.

Well, look where that ended.

Guess now we can
sort that divorce, eh?

DREAMLIKE MUSIC

(SNORES)

CELLPHONE RINGS

(SNORES)

CELLPHONE CONTINUES RINGING

Morning, beautiful.

MUMBLES: Is that your phone?

Mm-hm.

Who was it?

Don't care.

You should check in
case it's important.

PHONE BEEPS

What is it?
over .

That's not good.
It's not bad.

You better have a great
reason for waking me.

We have to go and we need
everyone's help. Even yours.

Not we — just me.

Have you come to your senses?

This is 'life and death' important!

What is the problem?

There's a hurricane.

BEMUSEDLY: What, in Henderson?

No, in Florida.

Well, moving towards Florida.

It was Tropical Depression Arthur,
now it's Tropical Storm Arthur and
it might be Hurricane Arthur soon.

Who's Arthur?
A hurricane. ]

Hmm.
Not here, Van.

[ In Florida, moron.

Approaching the Bahamas.

But it's heading towards Florida,
so we need to book our tickets now.

Not we — just me.

I told you — I am coming with you.

I thought you should move away
from a hurricane, not towards it.

Mum, Arthur is heading
towards Daytona Beach,...

where Milt's house is,
where the Sunset Channel is.

We need to make sure
everyone's all right!

Won't a hurricane be bad
for his blood pressure?

Yeah, and that's why
I need to be there.

And why I need to go alone.
No, I told you—

And I'm telling you that you
being there, worrying about you —

that will make it worse. I need
to know that you're here, safe.
I'm going alone, Pascalle.

That is my final word.

Oh. Is he that masterly in the sack?
Loretta.

I'm just saying that if he
can survive Hurricane Pascalle,

then maybe he's not as
fragile as we all think.

So? Is he?

I don't actually know.
We haven't actually done it yet.

Oh my God.

I could k*ll him with my body.

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

BOTH MOAN LOUDLY

Oh, God!

(PANTS HEAVILY)

No, no, no, no. Don't stop, Munts.

Sorry, babe.

BOTH MOAN

Oh yeah!

(PANTS)

Do you think Van's all right?

Munts, you've got your cock inside
me and you're thinking about Van?

Oh, only in my head.

The Mighty Munt's all about you,
babe, but... have you noticed how
Van's been behaving lately?

(LAUGHS TRIUMPHANTLY)

I should go.

Nah, bro. It's my shout.

Nah, I'd better go, bro.

Te Puke Thunder, bro.

Nah, I should go, man.

There's gonna be free piss, and Dane
Harris will have a pig on the spit.

Oh, bro, bro, bro, and the Raj has
scored some actual Jamaican heads,
bro, from actual Jamaica.

Makes Te Puke Thunder look
like cabbage, boy. Yeah!

Yeah, look, you go. I'm
just gonna head home, bro.

This is all my fault.

Hey?

Nah, bro, it's my shout.

Nah, I'd better go, bro.

Oh...

I should go, man.

See ya.
Bye, Van.

You go, bro. I'm just
gonna head home, eh?

See ya, Kase.

See ya.

Oh, look. No way is it your
fault that Van is lonely.

You think that's what it is?

Yeah. You know, him seeing all the
love around when he's got none.

We should do something, eh?

Yeah, totally.

But later, eh?

(PANTS) Oh God. f*ck me!

What about this one?

Yeah. Nice.

You say that about all of them.

Maybe you've got great taste.

Maybe you want us to get
the hell out of your house.

Hey, what about this one?

Nah, we can do better.

Got a job for you.

Yeah, I'm a bit busy
at the moment, Dad.

That bastard that's
hoodwinked your sister.

Hoodwinked?
Scammed her into marrying him.

This would be Milt, then?

I want you to dig around — see
what you can find out about him.

'Dig around'?

People think this
country's a soft touch.

What people?

Foreign bastards.
Bloody con artists.

Yeah, and what would Milt be
trying to con out of Pascalle? Her
autographed Rachel Hunter G-string?

It's what's inside the
G-string he's after.

You can't deal with it — your
princess shacked up with a rich
American.

Oh yeah? Who says he's rich?
That's what I'm trying to find out.

Get over it. He's better than %
of the dropkicks she's hooked up
with before.

Don't talk about Pascalle like that!

I'll refrain from
telling the truth, OK (?)

You know, don't you — she was
a virgin till she met Milt (!)
You know that, eh?

I want you to check him out.

Sorry, Dad. Don't do
that kind of thing.

Hey, what about this one?

[ Not even a blow job?

(SIGHS EXASPERATEDLY)

So what's the angle here?
What angle?

Pascalle and Milt.

(SCOFFS) Angle for who?

Well, Pascalle's angle is obvious —
Milt dies; she becomes a rich widow.

Oh, come on. You know
you've been thinking it too.

Pascalle is not like that.

Yeah, true. She's too
stupid to be like that.

So the real question, then, is,
'What's going on in Milt's head?'

If he can't plough her green
fields — cos if he does, he
keels over — then what's left?

Can't be the conversation. Does he
have a death wish? Is Pascalle his
su1c1de bombshell?

Whatever's going on, I
know one thing for sure —

be nice to Pascalle, cos she is one
root and one heart att*ck away from
a ton of cash.

CROWD CHATTERS INDISTINCTLY

It's done.
Shh. Just doing the
Tool Guys' accounts.

Sorted. What's done?

I've found Van the perfect
girl so he won't be lonely.

Which is good,...

but do you reckon Van's ready for
a relationship with a real chick?

I've got that covered.

Hayley's not like an actual
relationship. She's more like
an entree to a relationship.

How does that work?

Well, Van gets laid, so
he gets back on the horse.

She looks like a horse?

Nah. She's beautiful.

So how do you know
Van's gonna get laid?

It's a done deal,...

but I need $.

You hired Van a hooker?

Yeah, but he won't
know it's a hooker.

You know, it'll be, like, 'Van, this
is my old friend Hayley.' And wham!
He gets his end away.

So?
What?

.

f*ck me (!)

(SIGHS)

So, how's everything at home?

My home?
Yes.

Same old.

How's Pascalle?

Oh, pretty miserable. Milt's
gotta fly back to the States.

Really?
It's temporary.
Don't get your hopes up.

And it doesn't bother you?

A bullshit artist taking
advantage of our baby?

'Bullshit artist'?
You heard me.

You know they're not having sex?
(SCOFFS)

Apparently, he can drop
dead getting a hard-on.

Crap.
So if he's not having his
way with your princess,

I can't see exactly how he's
taking advantage of her.

And if he's after the
West fortune, good luck.

Is she not good enough for him?

Jesus, Wolf! I don't f*cking know.

It means we can get the
marriage annulled, right?

(SIGHS) Can we— Can we just talk
about annulling our bloody marriage?

There's not much to
talk about, is there?

It'll be /. I guess we'll need
to get valuations on our house—

Hold on. What do you mean, '/'?

Isn't that the law?

Since when did you
care about the law?

I'm telling you how it is.

So you get half the house?
And the business and—

Like f*ck! You had nothing to do
with it until your brother came.

Cheryl, it's the
law! I didn't make it.

It's just how it is.

So for years he gives me sh*t about
my business; it's this f*cking joke.

And now he's spending all his
f*cking time trying to take it away
from me! It's just f*cking mean.

What?
Well, in terms of the
Property Relationships Act—

Don't you start.
I didn't make the law.

Not when I am the one taking
it up the f*cking arse.

OK. You could take it to court and
argue that an equal share is what
they call 'repugnant justice'—

Yeah, yeah. 'Repugnant' is right.

Or you could take half
of everything Wolf has.

Half of what exactly?

He's got cash somewhere.

Yeah, yeah. You try and find it.

Why?

He's looking to buy a house. That's
where the money's going to end up.

You just string things along till
after he's bought and then you go
in for half of what's his.

Just play it cool, all right? Wait.

And, uh, then nail the
bastard's balls to the wall.

Yeah, if that's what you want, Mum.

(CHUCKLES)

Mm.

So what's your going rate, then?

What do you want?

I need someone to do some checking
up for me, but you're the only
w*nk*r I know in this line of work.

Stop with the flattery (!)

It's a job. You want it or not?

Depends on the job.

Background check.

[ On who?

One Milton Delaney III.

SCOFFS: 'The Third'.
What kind of name is that?

Would that be Milton Delaney III —
your son-in-law?

f*ck up.

Why? You worried he's after
your family silver (?) (CHUCKLES)

Do you and Cheryl work
from the same joke book?

Here. I give you an advance for
expenses and sh*t like that. Is
that how it works?

Happy to take your money, Wolf.

Just don't expect to fly
to bloody Florida on me.

So the bastard hasn't even
got to finger-bang you yet?

Ew. God, you were so much nicer
when sex used to gross you out.

Has he even seen you naked?

Duh! He has a heart condition.

Mm, and you have a body to die for.

Look, what you have to understand
is that what me and Milt have is
special.

[ Yep. Sure is.

I mean, what we have is almost
just too beautiful and spiritual
for words.

He saved me, Loretta,
and I saved him back.

It's a funny way to show gratitude.

I mean, look who I was a year ago.

Almost exactly a year ago, I was
arriving home from Pakistan, happily
engaged,

not knowing that my heart was about
to be broken by a midget doctor.

[ Not that I have anything
against midgets or doctors.

Oh my God — a year ago.

Yeah, that's what
I said — a year ago.

Pascalle?
Uh-huh?

What else was happening a year ago?

You were getting knocked up?

Apart from that.

Oh my God. Aurora.

That's why he's been
all mopey lately.

Van. Oh. We are so sorry.

OK...
Aren't we?

Yes.

Hug him, Loretta.

Sorry, Van.

Where are you going now?

Uh, to the pub... to have a
drink with Kasey and Munter.

Well, we'll come.
Will we?

One drink... to
honour Aurora's memory.

Together... as a family.

OK. Cool.

This is gonna be choice.

Yeah, until Van figures out we're
setting him up with a hooker.

He won't. She's lovely.

And Van's gonna get his end away.
And what could be better than that?
Oh crap! What are they doing here?

Hey, guys.

Didn't know you'd
bring your sisters.

Yeah.

You got a problem with it?

Shouldn't you look after your baby?

Not now, you two. This, of all
days, is not a day for fighting. ]

This is a day for remembering
the happy times that we've all
spent together.

I haven't spent any
happy times with her.

Not with Loretta. No one's
spent happy times with Loretta.

With Aurora — on the first
anniversary of her leaving us.

Oh my God.

Oh sh*t, dude. I didn't even think.

Hey, Kase! ]

OP SHOP'S 'MY LOVE'

♪ Oh...

♪ My love...

Hey!

Hi.

♪ ...no ordinary thing, my love. ♪

You must be the famous Munter. Hi.

Yeah. Hi.

Hi. Hayley.

Gidday. Van. (CLEARS THROAT)

Have a seat.

So, was she pissed off?

No. She tried to make out it didn't
bother her, but Cheryl's no good at
covering.

Well, as long as she
knows what's what, eh?

Mm. Game on.

A fast game's a good game.

DOOR OPENS

I'm gonna take a shower.

Son.

Dad.

(SIGHS)

Beer?

Ta.

Room service. There are some
advantages to us being here.

You don't have to stick
around on my account.

So, how goes the house hunt?

It goes.

Yep. Well, if there's anything
I can do to help it go quicker...

(CHUCKLES) Are you
trying to get rid of us?

(CHUCKLES) Seriously, let me know.
I know a couple of bankers.

Yeah, I bet you do.

(CHUCKLES)

No, we're OK, thanks. Neither of us
is really into dealing with banks if
we can help it.

And can you?

Help it?

Oh. Lucky you.

I might go join
Wolf for that shower.

Personal hygiene is important.

Your own business? Cool.

Yeah, yeah. It's choice. And,
um, what do you do, Hayley?

I'm in hospitality.

[ Oh, like, um,
restaurants and stuff, eh?

Thanking you muchly.

Here we go.

Mainly private functions.

Yeah? Is there a lot
of money in that?

Hey, Van. Tide's out. My shout.
You?

Mm-hm. And Hayley can
help you carry them.

(CHUCKLES)

You are all class (!)

She didn't know today was today, OK?

Hey, it's been a year
since we hooked up.

So you thought you'd celebrate your
first f*ck by hiring Van a hooker?

What?
And what were you doing?
Oh, getting knocked up.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa. Hayley's a hooker?

(LAUGHS)

She was Grandpa's regular.

Ew! You hired Van the
same hooker as Grandpa?!

Shh. Shh.

God. That is, like, incest.

You'd know about that, wouldn't you?

Shut up, Loretta.

How could you?
We wanted him to meet a nice girl.

And get a guaranteed root.

How could you treat
Aurora's memory like this?

I told you — I didn't know.

And it'll all be cool, as
long as Van doesn't find out.

Damn right he's not
going to find out.

We used to do that quite a lot.

Hey, Hayley, can I just have
a quick word with you over here?

Girl talk, Van.

Uh, what? Like tampons and sh*t?

Yeah. Something like that.

Now, I'm sure that you're really
nice, and it's not that I'm
judgmental about what you do,

cos heaps of my friends from school,
they're prostitutes now.
It's just...

Van is not shacking up with
a hooker on the anniversary
of his true love's death.

But I've already been paid.

Mm. OK. Let me put this
another way. f*ck...

You know, Loretta,
this explains a lot.

What does?

Why Pascalle's been acting so weird
lately. She's on the rag, man.

Very perceptive, Van.

I bet you're glad you don't have
to deal with that sh*t any more.

What?

Now you've had a baby.

Hey, I gotta go. Got a
text from my Mum, eh. Bye.

Bye, Hayley.
Nice to meet you, Hayley.

OK. I would like to propose a toast.
To Aurora and all those who truly
cared about her.

Cheers.
Cheers.

GLASSES CLINK

Good news — Arthur has slowed.
I might get there in time.

And the bad news is you might
just get there in time.

The bad news is it appears to be
intensifying. They're talking about
a category five.

On a scale of what?

One to five.

And five's the worst?

Until a six comes along.

I have to go with you.

Again — no, Pascalle. You're
staying here. End of story.

Night, Cheryl.

He's such a wonderful,
wonderful man.

Mm. He is, isn't he?
He's really nice.

And he's so brave.
And so not you.

Mum, don't. Me and Milt, we connect
on other levels — levels that you
wouldn't begin to understand.

No argument there.

Our marriage is a spiritual union.

Yeah, but there are certain things,
you know, that married couples do
after they get married.

God, you're as bad as Loretta.

All I'm saying is that you can't
have a good marriage without sex.

You and Dad managed well.

Only when he was in hiding or
prison. Otherwise, the sex was
great.

I don't wanna talk about it.
Look, all I'm saying is that without
sex, you can't have a good marriage.

You just said that you
and Dad had great sex.

Yeah, well, that was—

It wasn't sex that
ended the marriage.

You had sex with Judd. Dad had
another family, which presumably
involved sex.

I'm just saying,... why
are you married to Milt?

And I told you — it's cos
we connect on other levels.

I know he's wealthy,
but surely even you...

You think I'm a gold-digging slut?

No, no, no. I mean, you're not even
having sex, so how can you be?

DOOR SLAMS ]
Oh! (SIGHS)

You OK, honey?

No! I hate my sex-obsessed family.

All they ever think about is sex.
Sex, sex, sex, sex, sex. Or money.

But mainly, all they
can think about is sex.

I can understand that.

They haven't been
on at you about sex?

No, no, no, no. It's just, I've
been thinking about it a lot lately.

Sex?

And how wonderful it
would be... with you.

Milt, before we got married, we were
completely open with each other. You
told me about your medical history—

And you told me about your
quite... extensive sex life.

Which I'm totally over now.

And you don't have to be, is all
I'm saying. That's all I'm saying.

Milt, I have made healthy men pass
out by having sex with them, and not
just cos they were wasted.

I will k*ll you.

Yeah, but what if you didn't?
What if all that happens is we
made sweet, beautiful love?

(SIGHS)

I'm flying into the eye of a
hurricane, Pascalle. There's a good
chance I may never see you again.

And before I go, I wanna
show you how much I love you.

Mm... (CHUCKLES UNEASILY)

All good. I got the curtain
rails from Spotlight yesterday.

Sweet.
Someone paying you to hang curtains?

So?
Nothing.

I have to go out.
Where's Milt?

Still in bed.
Is he shagged out?

VAN AND MUNTER SNIGGER

BABY FUSSES
Shh, shh.

Quietly: Hey, sorry
about last night, bro.
What for?

The whole Hayley thing
on top of the Aurora thing.

Oh, what? You mean
cos she had to leave?

Nah.

I mean the way Hayley
kinda looked like Aurora.

Yeah? You reckon?

Are you cool with the
whole Aurora thing, bro?

Yeah. It's been a year and a day,
right? I've gotta move on some time.

You wanna move on?

Gotta do it sometime, bro.

That's good, bro. That's good.

Yeah.
DOOR OPENS

Uh-oh. d*ck alert.
Time to go to work, bro.

Good to see you too, bro (!) Hey,
um, respect on the Aurora front, eh?

You remembered?

Uh, yep. Didn't everyone?

Yeah. Thanks.

Oh... sh*t. That was a year ago.

Jesus Christ, this family's useless
sometimes. Thank God for me — that's
all I can say.

(CHUCKLES) Is that so?

Well, yeah. In your case, it is.

Guess who's looking to buy a house
with no mortgage attached? Tea?

No. How the f*ck can that happen?

We don't care. We just wait till
after they've made that move and
then we're in.

Wow. Works for me.

Actually, I will have some tea.

Milt asked me to have
sex with him last night.

God. Who does he think he is,
your husband (?) So, did you?

ROCK MUSIC

He didn't try to jump
you while you were asleep?

We have a spiritual connection,
Loretta. He would not do that.

Oh, what if I've made
a really huge mistake?

Then we'll add it to the list.

No. I mean, what if this is what I
do? What if because I had heaps of
sex when I was young,

now I'm only attracted to guys who
never got any? I'm a charity for
guys who never got laid.

Like you were a Muslim for Bruce?

Yeah. Maybe this is like Bruce
again. I know Milt has been married
twice before,

but I have seen pictures, and
neither of them are in my league.

What if the only reason
I want Bruce is—?

Milt.
What?

You said Bruce.

No, I didn't. What if the reason I
want Milt is that, really, I don't
want him because

if I did want him, I
could k*ll him with my want?

Then I'd say, 'Give it a whirl.'
If it's f*cking bell-ringing magic,
then good on you both.

If he dies, at least he's going out
with a bang and you're the happy
widow.

If it's crap, divorce him
and take half. Win-win.

That's a really ugly
way to look at it.

Well, it covers all the bases.

You're not very much
help as a sister, are you?

Pascalle, life is a game where you
take your chances. And if you need
help investing money—

(SIGHS EXASPERATEDLY)

Sorry, babe. Can't stay for long.
Van thinks I'm at Mitre .

I got you a pie and a beer.
So, what's so urgent?

Van, like, almost confessed to
me that he's ready to move on.

He said, 'It's been a year and a day
since Aurora.' I think he's up for
the whole sack.

He's ready for another relationship?

Mm.

So I was thinking we gotta
get Hayley back in play.

Mm. No.

What?
That's not a relationship.

Yeah, but I thought I already
shelled out bucks for Hayley.

No, we've gone way past that.

But I know just the woman.
You do?

For sure. Eat your pie.

Milt?

Yeah, Mr Pascalle.

What do you want with Milt?
It's business.

You a cop again?

I can't tell you that because that
would break the bond between private
investigator and client.

Someone's hiring you
to investigate Mil—

Wolf's f*cking hired you.

I can neither confirm nor deny that.

Wolf's paying you, and at the same
time, he's trying to f*ck me out of
half of everything.

I meant that in
the... property sense.

The house?
And the business.

CELLPHONE RINGS

And this call may or
may not have taken place.

Yeah, what?

You got something for me?

These things do actually take time.

Don't you d*ck with me.

I wouldn't dream
of dicking with you.

If something comes up,
I'll let you know.

PHONE BEEPS

Thanks.
What for?

Oh... pissing him off just for me.

(CHUCKLES) No, that
one was all for me.

Good luck with the
property business.

What? No advice?

No 'walk away'?

It's probably a bit late for that.

Hm.

Yeah. Is he in?

Yeah. Yeah, he's in Pascalle's room.

Hey, thanks for
inviting me to dinner.

You don't have to say thanks. You
can eat here any time you like.

But you usually don't invite me.

Well, I was making my special
eggplant thing and I remembered
how much you loved it last time.

Mmm. Yep. That...
eggplant thing. Choice.

Oh hey, Munt, I wanna run something
by you. I've had this idea.

What do you reckon if
we do up a car together?

That's amazing, bro. I was
having exactly the same idea.

Hello! Only me.

Yeah, hey, 'Chelle.
Oh, hey, Rochelle.

Hey, Van's here having a joint with
Munter and then leaving, right?

Do you think this needs to
go in for another minutes?

Kasey, look at me.

No, he's here for dinner.

Oh, oh. Light it. Light it.

You promised me a hot
single guy who loves kids.

Van is all those things.

Well, yes, maybe, but he's Van!

Who's hot and single and—

...and is Van! I planned
on getting a shag.

I even paid a babysitter because
it's Mum's yoga night. But not
with Van!

Why not?

Because it's Van! It'd
be like rooting my son.

Yeah, but he's ready to move on.

Not on to me, he's not.

Come on, Rochelle.

It's not as if any other guy's
gonna shag you any time soon.

Hey, guys. Um, babysitter
crisis. I've gotta go.

Hey, yeah, see you, 'Chelle.

Yeah, see you, 'Chelle.
Chicks, man. Always leaving.

PHONE RINGS

Video Hut.

It's me. What's going on?

Where?

At the house, Loretta. Where else?

Mum outdid herself with
the fish pie last night.

With Milt! What's going on there?

Which Milt? You mean
Milt, your son-in-law?

Don't be f*ckin' cheeky.

What do you wanna know, Dad?
I live to be your spy (!)

Do you reckon this heart/
blood-pressure thing is bullshit?

Well, I have advised Pascalle to
root the living daylights out of
him.

That's probably not an image you
really want in your mind, is it?

She's your sister, for God's sake.

Well, what do you want me to do —
sneak up behind Milt, shout 'boo'
and see if he drops dead (?)

No. Look, Dad. Face it—

PHONE CLICKS OFF

SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC

CELLPHONE RINGS

Mm?
Hey, Falani.

Who's asking?
It's me. What are you doing?

Oh, Wolf. I'm just doing
work for the church (!)

Time we got on the piss again.

Mrs Falani isn't too pleased
after what happened last time.

Oh, yeah. Forgot about
that. When's it due?

December.

o'clock.

Sure.

Hey, sorry if things
got weird last night.

Nah, it's cool. I'm starting to
quite like Kasey's eggplant thing.

I mean the whole Rochelle thing.

Oh yeah. What is it with the chicks
of this town, man? You know, they
just turn up and bugger off again.

Dude, there's more to it than that.

Bro, Kasey's been
trying to hook you up.

Eh?
With Hayley, then Rochelle.

With Rochelle?

That'd be like humping Mum.

Hayley was all right, though.

Hayley's kind of a...
Hayley's a hooker.

Kasey thought you needed a root.

Eh?

Eh? Yeah. How did I not pick that?

Maybe you're just out of practice.

Yeah.

We've been real
worried about you, eh?

Why?

Gotta go, bro.
I should go, man.

See ya, Kase.

See ya.

Yeah, well, I'm just, you know,
I'm trying to give you and Kasey
some space.

Nah, it's more than that.

(SIGHS)

You wanna tell me what's
really going on?

OK, but, uh,...

This is gonna sound weird.
Just tell me what he said, Munts.

Like, I really— I respect that,
uh,... and I love that you and
Kase are real happy together.

And I love Kasey —
you know, she's choice.

Really?
He said that?

Yeah, but not in a
'hitting on you' way.

I just...

I just miss you and me man-hangin'.

You know? Like, you
and me hanging out.

We hang together every day.

Yeah, but that's work-hanging.

Of course. I should have seen it.

For real?
He needs you.

You think?
You need to go hang.
Just the two of you.

Everything's ready tomorrow. You
just have to pack your toilet bag.

OK.

And I can drive you to the airport.

Oh, no, no, no. I've gotta be
there at .. I'll get a taxi.

No. Taxis often don't come here if
they recognise the address. We're
on some kind of blacklist.

So I can drive you.

This could be our
last night together.

I've been thinking about that.

DOOR OPENS
Here he is. The man himself.

Wolf. Felony.

Fah-lah-ni.

What are you guys doing here?

We're going out. We thought we
might take Milt for a drink.

Milt has got a plane to catch
tomorrow — early in the morning.

Doesn't Milt have a say in this?

Sure. A quick one.

Don't do this. You don't have to.

Honey, I'll be fine.

Every time he meets my boyfriend, he
pulls this sh*t. Pardon my French.
Sometimes I never saw them again.

But I'm not just your
boyfriend. I'm your husband.

Don't you let him get to you.

I won't.
BOTH KISS

And you know the warning signs.
If you start to feel any—

I will be fine. I'll see you later.

If he suffers so much as one heart
murmur, I will never forgive you!

(SIGHS)

Just the boys.
Yeah. Sweet as, man.

Hey, I've been
thinking about our car.

Yeah? Yeah. Me too.

It has to be a real choice one.

Yeah. Like a classic, eh?

Exactly!
Yeah!

Yeah!
And we'll— Oh sh*t.

Boys.

Hey, Dad.

Bit lucky running into you here.
This is Milt's last night with us.

Though we'd do it in style.

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

OK. If Mrs Falani asks,
we went out for tapas.

You OK, mate? All these naked
women not playing up with your
blood pressure thingy?

I think I'll cope.

Good to hear.

CROWD CHEER RAUCOUSLY

Hey, you boys, go get the drinks
in, will ya? Bourbon and cokes all
round.

Sweet.

Good old American drink.

So, what's the story there, Milt?

What's the game?
How do you mean?

You and my girl.

No, sir. No game.

You know she's the most precious
thing in my life, don't you?

As she's the most
precious thing in mine.

The thing I don't get, Milt —
the thing that really confuses me —

is that you're not what I
would normally call her type.

Because I'm old and
not very good-looking?

Pascalle and I have made a
connection. We bonded on a
spiritual level,...

and with all due respect, Mr West,
she is my wife, and you can't change
that.

Yeah, but for how long, Milt?

How long till she needs something
you can't give her? I'm not talking
about your money —

she's not that type of girl.
I'm talking about you.

CROWD CHEERS

TV: Interesting. OK, tell me. Tell
the viewers where you're from...

[ DOOR OPENS

Hey, love.

My father is a heartless bastard,
and he's trying to k*ll my husband.

You what?
He's taken him out drinking.

Oh sh*t.

And Milt was too much
of a man to say no.

Stupid bastard.

He is not a stupid
bastard. He's my husband!

No, no. I mean Wolf.

Oh.

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

CELLPHONE RINGS

Hello, love.

Don't you 'love' me.
Bring Milt home now!

Why? He's having a great time.

Jesus. She's a grown woman,
Wolf. Stop f*cking interfering.

Oh yeah. That's
rich, coming from you.

Hold on. Where the f*ck are you?

Well, it is a boys' night, Cheryl.

Jesus. You're not in a strip
club? You're trying to k*ll him?

Oh, Cheryl. Milt's not gonna cark it
just because some new, bold blonde's
rubbing her boobs against his fae.

Of that I am absolutely
now convinced.

Bring him home.

This would be to our home? The
one we own together /, yeah?

Yeah. The one you're gonna
get half of over my dead body.

Come on, Cheryl. Fair's fair
in the eyes of the law.

Oh, you wanna play that game?

I'll take you for
everything you f*cking got.

I'll track down everything you
bloody own and I'll take half
of it. So bring it f*cking on.

Is Milt all right?

Yeah. Yeah. He's fine, honey.

(WHIMPERS IN RELIEF)

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

Where are you going?

Thank you for this evening, but I
have a plane to catch. So I'm going
home... to my wife.

Don't know about your ticker, mate,
but you've got nerve. I'll give you
that.

FALANI SHOUTS: See ya, Milt! ]

And it's gotta have a sound system
that makes our ears bleed.

Hey, Van.
Hayley!

Hey, Munter.

I didn't know you worked here.

You wanna come for
a private lap dance?

Um,...

Uh,... yeah, well, it's
kind of a boys' night.

Bro... I've already paid for it.

f*ck. I love you.

I love you, bro.

Result.

How was boys' night?

Educational.

Where'd you go?

Boy places.

(MOANS)

About that house we're gonna buy,...

Mm-hm? What about it?

One or two things.
Yeah?

Yeah. We can talk about
it in the morning.

WHISPERS: OK.

(MOANS)

Oh. Thank God you're OK.

You were right about that taxi. Once
he knew the address, he demanded the
cash and dropped me two blocks aay.

I am so sorry.

Oh, that's OK. He was quite
chatty once he chilled out.

No. I mean about my dad.

That wasn't so bad.

In fact, it kinda got me thinking.

Sometimes, thinking isn't good.

Pascalle, I know there's this gap
between us, and it's not just an
age.

It's in everything. So if you don't
want me in that kind of way, I'll
understand.

I'll get on the plane and I won't
come back, and we'll pretend this
whole thing never happened.

And I will care about you forever.

Well, I've been thinking too, which
is when I realised that sometimes,
thinking isn't good.

So I stopped thinking and I started
listening to that voice inside me.

And that voice said, 'I do want
to love Milt, to make love to Milt,

'because he is a lovely person
and he deserves to be loved by me.'

So let's go to bed
and take our chances.

Wow.
But only if you're OK.

No, no. I'm good.
No. I mean, cos we can wait.

No, no, no, no. I'm
just happy, that's all.

Really really happy.

(LAUGHS)

Milt?

Milt?

Mum! Milt!

CRIES: Milt!

Mum!

HELLO SAILOR'S
'GUTTER BLACK' PLAYS

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'