01x04 - Bestest Friend

[bunniefuu]

[cheering]

[theme music]

[maniacal laughter]

[sniffing]

[shudders]

[squeals]

[screams]

That new kid's a freak.

I think his name
is zip or something.

He's been here long enough to
at least make some loser friends,

like that creepy kid, Dim...

Or those rejects in the corner.

But look at him, all by himself,

I mean, what kind of kid
doesn't have any friends?

It's so inhuman.

["Inhuman" echoing]

Congratulations on discovering
the grotesque space monster!

Tell us, how did you
know he was an alien?

Well, we noticed
he had no friends.

["Friends" echoing]

[gasps]

I'm looking for a
friend. Would you be--

I was born with
webbed fish toes...

Like some kind
of horrible fishboy.

Want to see?

Would you--

[screaming]

Squealy fools!

These human filthies
should be honored

to even be considered
as possible friends of Zim!

Who among you feels they are
worthy enough to be my best friend?

Good. I have devised
some simple tests

to determine who
is the worthiest.

We begin by testing
your absorbency.

Ooh! Hey! Ooh!

Next, I test your
electrical conductivity.

[screaming]

And now, the final test...

[screaming]

We have a winner. What
is your name, friend?

My name's Keef.

Wow! I've never
won anything before.

I promise I'll be the best,
most loyal friend ever!

I'm so happy.

Don't touch me.

I'd like you all to meet Keef.

He's my best friend.

Not yours... mine!

Get lost, you losers.

Very well, I am
going to get lost.

But notice I am getting
lost with my best friend!

[crash]

And then tomorrow,
there's the circus.

We can go to the
circus! I love the circus!

You want to go
to the circus, Zim?

I want to congratulate you,
Keef, on a job well done.

You have been a
most convincing friend.

But now that the
world seems satisfied

with my knack for companionship,

I don't think I will be requiring
your services any longer.

Our mission together is done.

Good job, soldier.
Be gone with you.

Hey, you got any video games?

Yes.

[heavy sigh]

A job well done.

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Heya, buddy. How you doing?

Keef? I told you I
do not require your--

I understand, Zim. I was
thinking maybe you'd want to--

[beep]

Hold on, I've got another call.

Hello?

Heya, buddy! You're
gonna love the circus!

GIR!

Yes, my master!

GIR, I'm going down to the lab.

Do not let anyone in the house.

Yes, sir!

[doorbell rings]

Leprechauns!

[squeaking]

[blissful sigh]

Hey, Zim! You showed up
just in time for the waffles!

Get out of my house!

I told you, you're fired!

You don't like waffles?

Out! Out! Out! Out!

Oh! We can walk
to school together.

I'm sick. I'm not
going to school today.

Poor sick Zim.

No wonder he's so sad.

I have a great idea, GIR.

I think we should throw
our Zim a surprise party.

It'll cheer him up.

[happy squeal]

I'll get a bunch of kids

and bring them
over after school.

Now, this is supposed
to be a surprise.

Do you understand, GIR?

A surprise. Zim can't find out.

Meow.

[door opens]

What are you doing, GIR?

Nothing.

Nothing? Or something?

Oooh! I can't take it!

You're too smart for me!

Keef is planning a surprise
party for you after school!

He's gonna bring all the
kids because he loves you!

That boy loves you so much!

I'm makin' the cake!

He's bringing all the
children to our secret lair?

Do you realize what this means?

Yes.

Wait a minute... no.

It means our
mission is in jeopardy!

Aw, man.

[hums a ditty]

Something must be
done about this... Keef.

If he succeeds, the
whole population of Earth

will show up on our doorstep.

[school bell rings]

Party after school
at Zim's house.

Everybody's invited!

Who's Zim?

He's the green
kid. You know him.

Oh, you mean the
freak with that one friend

that makes him even freakier?

Ha ha. I don't think so.

These humans and
their filthy "friendship."

It brings nothing but trouble.

I can see them now.

[cow moos]

[shudders]

[school bell rings]

Parteeeee!

[gasps]

[slow motion] Parteeee!

[grunting]

[low, very slow motion sounds]

[sighs]

[laughing]

OK, now you guys wait
here while I get him.

Then jump out
and yell "surprise!"

He'll be so happy.

I've never been
to a party before.

Do they hurt?

Hey, Zim! I'm home!

For me?!

Oh, you are my bestest friend.

Thank you, Zim.

[screaming]

Keef...

Yes...?

Who's your best friend?

That would be Zim.

Today, he got me--

Silence! When I snap my fingers,

the next living thing you see you
will believe to be your best friend.

I like Zim.

I know you do.
But pay attention!

[snap]

What happened?

Zim! How'd you get out there?

Hey, wait up! I have
a surprise for you!

Ha ha ha! Humans
and their "friendship."

Invaders need no one. No one!

[crash]

Hey, guys! This is Zim!

It's Zim!

Forget this weirdo.

Hey, you guys want to
see something really neat?

[screaming]

Hey, I'm hungry. Can
I get some of that?

No.

[screaming]

You don't like waffles?

[humming]