02x03 - Mortos der Soulstealer

[bunniefuu]

Wha-ha ha ha ha!

Ha ha ha ha!

[bats shrieking]

[shrieks]

Ahem.

Um, ancient traveler,

uh, are you Mortos
der Soulstealer?

Huh?

Yes, I am Mortos
der Soulstealer!

Every thousand years,

when the Ta'un
aligns with Chakunga,

I escape from the place
beneath the Overworld

to walk among
mortals for one day.

Important plot point, this is.

Men hide behind furniture.

Women spit loogies of terror.

Animals void their bowels

at the sight of Mortos
der Soulstealer!

Whoo-hoo hoo ha ha ha!

Mwah-ha ha ha ha ha!

Wha-ha ha--

Ah-choo.

[gags]

[burp]

OK, great!

[grunting]

Hmm!

I have a job for you.

Hmm?

Can you steal an alien's soul?

Hmm...

[beeping]

And I've seen him
walking around the city

dragging a spooky-looking box.

I just know he's
up to something --

something evil.

Mortos like evil.

No, no. This is bad evil.

Oh.

That's where you
come in, Mortos.

I am Mortos!

Uh, yeah. You are.

I've been going at Zim

using technology all this time,

but that hasn't been
working out too well.

It's time to use some
more supernatural tactics.

Mortos?

Ooh.

Stone feel good.

Look, Mortos been
away a thousand years,

don't want to waste
time stealing life juice

of bug man from outer space.

Mortos go now.

Hold it!

According to the
ancient pamphlet,

you must grant at
least one mortal a wish

before you can return
to the Spooky Realm.

Pamphlet stupid!

[grunting]

Grr!

Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!

Ah!

OK, but powers very
weak from thousand years

in place beneath the Overworld.

Well, how do we fix that?

Two quarter porkies with cheese,

one MacGrease-- no cheese--

Meaty MacMeat-meat-meat
with cheese,

and appley pie with meat.

[slurping]

Mortos, is this really
how you recharge

your unearthly powers?

Yes!

Since before time began!

Mortos not carry cash.

Oh, OK.

Mmm.

Mortos' power returning.

[chittering]

[crash, cat screeches]

[animals fighting]

There's Zim,

and his box is full of things.

Let's go.

Mortos.
[Meow]

Mortos!

Do Mortos' butt
look big in these?

Mortos, come on.

Mortos is trying
on rubber pants!

Mortos recharge faster
when he look good.

When Mortos look
good, Mortos feel good.

Mortos, you're
not recharged yet?

Take long time
to get back to full.

Mortos been away
a thousand years.

Look, they squeak
when I bend knees.

[squeaking]

That's a stupid way to recharge.

You dare insult
the pants of Mortos!

A rubber jacket would
make you feel fabulous!

Dib: No!

Mortos has work to do.

[rubber pants squeaking]

Mortos?

Uh, the pants aren't free.

[panting]

Mortos, where are you?

Mortos! Mortos!

Zim.

What?

Zim!

What?

Zim!

What?

Zim!

What?

You won't get away with it!

That's very nice of you!

No! Your plan!

I'm going to stop you!

I've got a secret w*apon!

Where is it?

Around.

Can it protect you from...

[echoing] this?

Sammich!

[groaning dramatically]

[Zim cackling]

Ooh!

GIR: I had a sammich in my head.

Laugh now, space monster,

but my w*apon
is so powerful, it--

It... buys rubber pants.

[distant squeaking]

Mortos?

Mortos: Whee!

Whoo hoo hoo!

Oh, boy!

Yeah!

Whoo whoo whoo!

Whoo ha ha ha!

Whee-e-e!

What is wrong with him?

I am Mortos!

Mortos think you pretty.

Mortos maybe call you sometime?

All right!

[crying]

You ditched me.

Yes, Mortos ditch you,

and Mortos sorry.

But many years ago

Mortos trust
little boy like you--

Little boy named Floochie

who sang songs to Mortos.

That little boy
break Mortos' heart.

Now, dark energy of universe

Mortos' only friend.

I'm sorry.

And Darlene here.

Hi!

Yuh! I can't believe

I almost bought that sob story.

Mortos, you're no mighty
master of spooky powers

like the pamphlet said.

You're just a -- a big mooch!

You call Mortos mooch?

Yes, a mooch.

- Mooch?
- That's right.

Mooch, mooch, mooch,
mooch, mooch, mooch!

You want see power?

I show you power!

[Mortos roars]

[evil echoing laughter]

[children screaming]

[mechanical roar]

Wow!

Mortos, I believe you now.

I always believed you,
but you just seemed so...

Oh, anyhow, let's go get Zim!

Mortos use up
all power with that.

Must return to spooky home.

Mortos weak.

[groans]

No!

Mortos, don't leave!

Well, maybe I stay

if somebody help me
recharge some more.

Hey.

[sucking]

Mmm.

Mmm!

[squeaking]

Heh heh heh.

Hee hee hee hee.

Heh heh.

[squealing]

Who likes der Soulstealer?

Ho ho! Yeah, you do.

Yeah, you do, don't you?

Hey!

I said no loitering!

I've called the police already,

you hear me?

Come on, Mortos.

You scaring puppies!

Mortos apologize for
mean boy, puppies.

Oh, yeah.

Puppies!

Zim: No, GIR!

You can eat later.

Zim's out there!

Mortos, let's go.

You don't have much time left.

Mortos almost recharged.

Ooh! So-o-o-da.

Mmm!

Why do they have
sodas at a pet store?

GIR: You didn't
have to yell at me.

Zim: Mm-hmm.

GIR: I was just--

I got rid of my sandwich.

Mm-hmm.

GIR: I was just thinking--

GIR, another
mutant biting thing.

Yes, vermin lord!

[squeaking]

[crashing and squealing]

Onward to victory!

Dib: Zim!

I don't know what your plan is,

but I'm gonna stop it.

I am infecting this city

with genetically
enhanced vermin,

but you'll never know!

You just told me.

You're lying!

Mortos, grant my wish now!

Steal Zim's life force.

Still powering up.

Almost there.

Un-n-nh!

Neh.

That's your secret w*apon?

Both: Eh.

GIR: So, about my sammich...

Zim: Mm-hmm...

Yah!

[sucking]

I'll hold him here

while you finish up, Mortos.

Get off of me!

You smell like human!

Yah!

Oh! The vermin!

Ha ha!

Hee!

Yech.

Ha-yah!

Ah-ha!

[sucking]

[Zim grunts]

Mortos, where are you?

Ahh.

Refreshing.

Mortos grant wish now.

What you want again?

Hello?

[grunting]

Whee-hoo!

I wish I had me some ice cream!

Your wish is granted!

[creepy ice cream
truck music playing]

[bell rings]

Hey, what do you know.

Eew. Raisins.

No-o-o!

Mortos so weak.

Must go return now.

[yawns]

No!

Mortos, you still owe me.

Maybe next time you not
be so cheap with Mortos.

See you in a thousand years!

No-o-o!

Eh, huh.

You OK?

Well, guess I'll get on with

my evil scheme, then.

Come on, GIR.

No-o-o!

[sirens approaching]

[tires screeching]

What--what?

What are you-- What?

What's happening?