02x08 - The Voting of the Doomed

[bunniefuu]

Yay skool yay!

Skool yay skool!

Skool skool skool! Yay yay yay!

Skool! Yay! Aaargh skool!

Yay skool yay!

Skool yay skool!

Skool skool skool! Yay yay yay!

Skool! Yay! Aaargh skool!

And now a word from
our student president!

Isn't our skool just great?

Our greatness is greater
than all other greatnesses

of all the other
schools combined,

and it's that greatness
that makes us great!

But I would like to say
one thing, maybe, um...

About the dirty
bathrooms. They--

Do not be alarmed.

The student president has
experienced a failure in spirit.

A new election will
be held immediately.

Volunteers? Volunteers?

Ooh! Ooh! Me! Me!

Pick Zim! Zim is me!

Zim is me!

Zim shall rule!

Pick Zim! Zim... Me. I am Zim!

Zim. Analysis: Moron. Suitable.

Candidate two needed.
Volunteers?

But Zim's criminally
insane! That's not good!

Dib. Analysis: Annoying.

[mumbling]

Volunteers?

Heh heh heh. Shoe.

Huh?

Willy.

Analysis: Leadership material!

Nfffffffff!

The candidates will now speak,

and then be quiet and
then I go away from you all.

As president, I will
ensure that all mankind

has its legs sawed off!

Hmmmmm... I don't
know about that.

...and, um, replaced
with legs of pure gold!

Yes, and I will
grant you the power

to fire lasers from your head!

[oohs and ahs]

I like gold!

I like my head!

Oh no! Zim's promising
them anything!

[cheers and applause]

Candidate two. Be quick.

I can only survive
so long in the sun.

Ummm...

I hope ya like this!

[squeaking sounds]

Ha ha ha ha ha.

Willy's a drooling moron!

As sole defender of Earth,
I've got to do something!

I wish Willy was my brother.

Ah!

[laughing]

Pardon me, but if you
don't tackle the real issues,

Zim is going to win the election

and eradicate all human life.

How did you get here?

You a leprechaun?

Geeeaaaaaaaaaghh!

I offer my services
as campaign manager.

We'll be a team. Me
as the incredible brains,

and you as... Willy.

You're after me gold!

Is that a yes?

Good. Let's talk about
your new platform.

First, you promise to
promote alien awareness.

Second... um, Willy?

[giggling]

Candidates' popularity
will be monitored

by audience brain scan.

A drop in popularity will result

in a horrible electric shock.

Debate! Now! Or suffer!

Citizens, you are all familiar
with me and what I stand for,

but only now can I
reveal that if elected,

I will ensure that
every student is given

a zombie wiener dog
to do their bidding!

Can my opponent say that?

Ow! [Giggling]

Dah! Hoo! Ah! Ooh!

Time's up! Now!

Now comes the awkward
silence portion of the debate.

[cheers and hoots]

This isn't going well.

[phone rings]

Willy, just repeat
everything I say.

Dib! What've I told you about

jamming things
into students' ears?

Candidate two,
begin the babbling.

[grunts]

If elected, I...

[feedback] Ahhhh!

Sorry. Volume.

The grotesque monster
boy avoids the issues.

Just what does he plan on doing

about the size of
Dib's giant head?

If I am elected, Dib's
head will be removed

and filled with salted nuts!

Salted nuts!

[cheering]

Willy: Your promise
is ridiculous.

What does it have
to do with real issues?

If elected...

...I promise to improve

the terrible conditions
at this skool...

Serve actual food for lunch.

Yeah, food.

Food, yeah.

[cheers and applause]

Also, Dib will finally
be appreciated

for the genius that he is!

Huh?

[boos]

I mean, I will give...

...give everyone laser beam eyes

and shoes that
make them invisible!

Yeah! Willy!

You like Willy?! Nyeeegh!

And then we dance all
day, and no more school,

and... and... and... and stuff!

I didn't say that! Willy, stop.

And you all be my friends,

and you can go home
and not learn no more!

[cheers]

Madness! That's...

You...

I am Zim!

Vote for Zim or
I'll destroy you.

Vote for Zim or
I'll destroy you.

Miss Bitters, Zim is
threatening the voters!

He's disqualified! Right?!

The child shrieks
like a fruit bat.

[mumbling]

Voting complete!

Clear the ballot box!

[screaming]

Tabulating...

The winner is...

Zim!

My empire of doom begins now!

All: Hail Zim! Hail Zim!
Hail Zim! Hail Zim!

[laughing evilly]

The winner is...

Willy!

Report to the principal's
chamber immediately!

Yes!

No! Treachery! Lies!

Zim!

Zim? Lose? Impossible!

This is your fault, Dib,
and you shall pay!

Face it, Zim, I b*at you,

and as Willy's campaign
manager, victory will be sweet!

[laughing]

Candidate two,

you won't disappoint
us like your predecessor.

You will obey.

You won't complain
about nasty toilets.

Well, they are kind of nasty.

Silence!

Now, Willy.

As student president,
fulfill your destiny!

Derrrr... OK.

Ah--ah--ahhhhhhh!

Chip, chip.
Greetings, fellow students!

Isn't skool just smashing?

Tally on, and chippy ho!

[cheering]

Our skool is great.

And it's that greatness
that makes us great!

And we've got the
finest toilets ever made!

Earthsmell, by the look on
your face, I can see you didn't

intend to spare me
Willy's horrible fate,

and that makes it funny!

Thank you, human,
for helping Zim.

Reward the child, GIR.

Salted nuts!

I hate you.