02x09 - Gaz, Taster of Pork

[bunniefuu]

[crash!]

Wa... ha ha ha ha ha!

Spelldrives.

Mysterious magical
tomes for storing spells.

Powered by magical power points,

they were once
used to cast the spells

contained within.

The largest collection

of these ancient sources
of mystical knowledge

belongs to the boy
with the largest head --

Dib.

My spelldrives are all
drained of their power,

but I still think they're neat.

That's very interesting, Dib,

but can you tell us
more about your head?

As you know, each spell takes up

a certain number of power point.

- I found--
- Your head, Dib!

Your head!

Uhh.

Hey, did you eat all
the Franken Chokies?

You just missed it!

I was on Mysterious Mysteries
with my spelldrives.

[Gaz squealing]

I remember that magical day

I found these old things.

It was incredible.

[man humming]

[squealing]

[beeping]

Hey!

This drive still has
unused power points.

How did I miss that?

Me, the obsessive
compulsive Dib?

Aw.
[Blows]

[gasping, coughing]

What spell should
I [cough] cast?

Hmm, no, not enough points.

Mmm, too bad.

A smaller head would be cool.

Found one.

The Sense of the Shadowhog.

Uses one power point
and enhances the sense of--

I can't read it,
but it sounds cool.

Enhanced something is good,

but what if it doesn't work
the way I hope it does?

I have a plan!

Since I have points,

and the spell only takes one,

I can just use it twice.

I'll just cast it on
someone else first.

Then, and only then,

will I stop talking to myself.

Activating spelldrive.

Uhh. The smell.

Are you prepared

to receive the power
of the Shadowhog?

[gagging] Not me.

But my sister really wants it.

[coughing]

Who would-- Hey.

If there's one thing you
should know by now,

it's to stay out of my room!

Do you feel
different in any way?

Get out!

X-ray vision, maybe?
Super smell?

That's it, Dib. Security!

[cackling]

[chittering]

Eeh, ah. [Grunts]

[tongue clicks]

Uhh-uhh-uhh.

Unhh ooh.

[crash]

You sure you're not
feeling super somehow?

I have a super-horrible
taste in my mouth.

[belches] Ooahh.

Oh, my no--

[belches] Ooahh.

Dib: Father, help me.

[grunts]

Unghh.

How are you feeling today, Gaz?

Ow!

What is it? Is there some
kind of extra awareness

that you're experiencing?

This cereal tastes horrible.

Tastes fine to me.

It's not spoiled. It's fine.

Ooh. [Coughs]

Ohh-eh.

Ooeww.

Gahh! [Coughs]

Where's Dad shopping now?

This is all horrible.

Horrible!

Horrible, how?

[tongue smacks]

Everything tastes like a pig.

A pig!

[gasps] The Shadowhog!

What could have
gone wrong? What--

Shadow what?

What did you do?

I don't know what
you're talking about.

Uhh!

My haunted
gummi-bear collection!

Tell me what you did,

or I'll eat them, Dib.

I'll eat them all.

[gummi bears wailing]

Boo--ooheh.

No,

I only did it to give
you super powers

because you're the
greatest sister ever.

[gulping]

[gags]

Stop!

Maybe I can reverse the spell!

Um, the only spell I can cast

is the same one I
used on you already.

Um, you know...

Pig is a really good taste.

Security!

Not the dolls! No!

I programmed them
to feed on human flesh.

But you need me.

You need my knowledge
of the paranormal.

You can't lift this
spell off on your own.

[snap]

You'd better lift it soon,

or...

[snap]

[dolls whirring]

All right, all right!

Just don't worry.

I'll cure you.

Until then, just go
about your day, OK?

Just be normal.

And that, class,

is why I'm so happy today.

Isn't that great, huh?

Yeah.

[Gaz gagging]

[gags]

[gags]

[groaning]

Um, Gaz,

you can't eat in class.

Have to eat.

Must find something

that doesn't taste
like pig intestine.

Uhhh...

[squeals]

Aaah!

Curse you, Dib!

Curse you!

Curse you!

Curse you!

[muttering]

[crunch]

[muttering]

[munch]

Bleh.

[gulp] bleh.

Bleh!

Hey, this tastes OK.

But it's a hot dog,
so that makes sense.

A lifetime of eating
nothing but hot dogs.

Every day, hot dogs--
My whole life.

Aaaah!

No, Gaz! Those are
the mashed potatoes!

Get them away from my eyes.

Remember what happened to Zita!

I was only trying to
help you out, Gaz.

You're hiding something.
What is it?

Me, hiding? I was only trying

to do something
nice for my sister.

No, not my eyes!

Think of all the foods
you'll never eat again

if you destroy me now.

Uhhh.

Ohh.

Kid: Aah!

Zita!

[crickets chirping]

[squeaking]

Dad, Gaz has been
cursed and tastes pigs!

There are no curses, son.

Blah ha ha ha ha!

Must be a scientific
explanation.

Come on, honey.

Are you ready for
some horrible tests?

I... guess so.

[sighs]

I knew I could count
on Dad's not believing.

He'll keep Gaz busy
until I find a cure.

Now I'm gonna start walking.

Tuna ghost: Agent Mothman?

Why were you talking out
loud to yourself just then?

I don't know,

but I do that a lot.

- That's stupid.
- Isn't it?

Anyhow, Agent Tuna Ghost,

I want you to do
some research for me.

People of the press,

I have examined my
daughter for hours now,

and I've made a discovery.

She suffers from

a never-before-seen
condition I have named

pig mouth!

[cameras clicking]

It has been one day already,

and the cure for pig
mouth still eludes me.

This enviro-suit is not
enough to protect my daughter.

So, I have added a new
wing to the Membrane Labs--

The pig-girl wing!

Crowd: Whoo!

Co-sponsored by the
Deelishus Weenie Corporation.

[oinks]

[crackling]

[laughs] Hey!

You will pay, Dib.

You will pay!

Ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Oh! [Laughing]

That's a good one.

Help you?!

Why should I help you?

Hey! I helped you

when we were transforming
into giant bolognas.

You're making it up!

Look, it's my sister. She's--

Forget it, Dib.

Gnomes, away with him.

[grunting] Ah, no. Get your--

[muttering]

[groans]

I'm going to
destroy you all, Dib.

Today. I've got it all set up.

Uh-huh. That's nice, Zim.

It can't be worse than
what my sister's gonna do.

I've loaded GIR full
of expl*sive monkeys,

- and I'm about to--
- That's great, Zim.

Maybe you can
tell me about it later.

I've gotta go.

I got monkeys in me!

Fool!

Begone with you!

I bet you you taste like pig.

Just like a pig.

A little piggy.

Ohh.

Gaz, I--

Be quiet.

Just look at the TV.

Watch and know the evil

you have brought upon me.

OK, but--

Hey!

Look at Bloaty!

We got a new pizza
coming out on Friday.

And iffa you like
the taste of stuff,

you're gonna love this pizza.

This pizza don't
taste like pig at all.

[belches]

[squeals and grunts]

Bloaty hate his life.

[cat meow]

[pig oinking]

[crying]

I've never missed a
new-pizza day at Bloaty's.

If this next one is ruined

by your magical stupidity,

I will make you wish

you had rabid weasels

teleported into your skull

instead of having a sister.

I'll wait till you sleep

and stuff all of your
paranormal junk

into your big, giant
paranormal head

and chew on your eyeballs

after I pluck them out!

Aaah!

Nah. Nah.

And now she's
gonna destroy my life

if I can't figure out a
way to lift the curse.

But I don't know how!

I am so dead.

Yeah, I remember when I
summoned a hog demon

to curse my sister
with pig mouth

and had to deal with
having a cursed sister.

That was awful!

The whole ordeal
turned me into a hobo.

Yaaahh.

[grunts] Word of advice.

I don't want to become a hobo.

Oh.

[beeps]
The swollen eyeball signal.

That's my secret society.

Don't tell anyone.

[belches]

Agent Moth Man.

We've been discussing
your situation.

We think we can help.

Yah.

[squeaking]

Aaah!

Nah. Nah. Nah.

Nah. Nah.

Good news!

I have something that
can help you, maybe.

I formed a plan
using information I got

from the Swollen
Eyeball and a dirty hobo.

But we'll have to make it out

to Mystical Hill on
the outskirts of town.

Apparently that
place is mystical.

So how do we get there?

This isolation t*nk

doesn't exactly have a doorknob.

I can hack into
the security system

and set you free from this cage.

Once I do,
guards'll be after us.

Don't worry about the guards.

I know my way around this place.

Just break me out of this t*nk

or I'll blow you out--

OK! I get the point.

[mechanisms disengaging]

[grunting and moaning]

[alarm beeping]

[crackling]

[alarm beeping]

[car horn honks]

Whoo! What an incredible
and daring escape.

That was amazing!

I liked the part where
the giant robot squid

launched missiles at us.

Man: We're only tryin'
to help ya, pig girl!

Give yourself up!

Come on, piggy!

Science won't help you, Gaz.

Science won't replace your head

after I tear it from your torso

if you don't hurry.

Right. I got this spelldrive

from the Swollen Eyeball.

If it works, we can use it
to travel to the realm

of the very creature who gave
you your weird pork powers.

Man: There they are!
Get 'em! Get 'em!

Do it already!

Yeah, ok!

Activating spelldrive now!

Aaah!

[grunting]

Aah!

We're too late.

They transformed into a book.

I told 'em this would happen!

Aaah!

Naah!

Wow! Look at all that pork!

I've seen more.

[evil laughter]

I am the Shadowhog!

What is it that
you want from me,

child who conjured me

and child who is
blessed with pig senses?

Um, Shadowpig,

my sister doesn't want
your curse anymore.

The most blessed of
gifts you call a curse?

You insult me!

You said your sister really--

Was a special, lovely
person, yes, yes.

But we're in a bit of a hurry.

Did you conjure a big-head demon

to give you a big head?

Man, that is a really big head.

No, I didn't!

It's this way on its own!

Now, can you help us or not?

There is the terrible
Trial of the Shadowhog.

But it is a foolish
thing to attempt

to give back such
a wonderful gift.

Even more foolish to think
that you will pass the trial.

Should you fail, little girl,

you will suffer a fate worse

than your worst nightmare.

There's no fate worse than this.

Except for the
fate of my brother

if this doesn't work.

She's right, you know.

So, you agree to undertake

the trial.

Yeah.

I guess so.

Then follow me
into the Sacred Hall

of the Stinking Piggy
of Stinking Pigginess.

♪ Piggy, piggy ♪

♪ Piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy ♪

♪ Piggy, piggy ♪

♪ Piggy, piggy, piggy, piggy ♪

♪ Piggy, piggy, piggy ♪

No!

Only the pig girl
may come inside.

You must wait outside.

Ughh.

But she's helpless without my
knowledge of the supernatural.

You can't do this!

Dib: Wait!

Uhh.

[grunts] Let me through!

That's my little
sister in there!

There's no way she can
stand up to that giant pig thing!

No offense.

[growls]

Hey, look!

There's something
a pig thing would like!

[grunts] Hmm?

Nah. Nah, nah!

[pants]

Gaah!

Let the dreaded Trial
of the Shadowhog begin!

Are you ready, child?

Sure. Why not?

Very well!

[oinking]

How tall am I?

[squeaks]

I'm guessing about
feet, inches.

I guess so.

Next-- what's the secret code

for unlimited lives
in Super Kicky Fighter?

Up, up, down, down,
left, right, left, right,

"a," "b," "b," "a," start.

Really? Cool.

The trial is over.

Yay for you!

[oinks]
Uhh.

Aaah! [Grunts]

[beeping]

[beeping]

Ehh, ow! Ow!

Gah! Aah!

Gaah, uhh!

Ehnnnnnnn...

Unhh!

Yeah, Zim's an
alien, but so what?

He's too dumb to
take over the Earth.

Why should I have to listen

to Dib's constant--

Dib: Stop!

She's just a little girl.

It's not her fault
she failed your tests.

Look, it's me you want.

I cast the spell on her

because I wanted to
see what it would do

before trying it on myself.

She doesn't deserve to
suffer your punishment.

Uh, actually, she--

No. Let's hear him out.

Mr. Pig Monster,

spare my sister and
punish me instead.

Punish me instead!

Uh...

'K.

As punishment,

you must clean my filthy toilet

of filthy piggy filth.

It's over there!

That's it?

That isn't so bad.

♪ Ooh di do do, do do doodily ♪

♪ Do do doodle do ♪

♪ Doodle ooh do, do do ♪

♪ Do do do do do ♪

[gurgling]

Gah! No!

No!

Oh, my--

Nah! Oh!

Ohh!

[tires screech, car crashes]

[elephant trumpets]

Sorry about imprisoning you

and turning you into
a media freak, honey.

It was in the name
of science, and--

Hey, where's your brother?

He's in a pig world nether world

cleaning out
toilets with his head.

Ha ha!

You're my funny child.

[Dib retching]

Aah! I'm sorry!

[grunts]

Ohh! I'm... sorry!

[crying] Sorry!