05x19 - I Have a Daughter!

[bunniefuu]

I can't think of a reason why
a mother would leave a child
at a time like this —

just to walk out without
a single f*ckin' word.

PASCALLE: It's happened
to her before.

Nicky handed himself in.

Didn't want to see
the old man go down.

He gave himself up for Grandpa.

He didn't do it for Grandpa.

We need to take a break.

So this is just a temporary thing?

Mm.

I love you, Nicky Greegan. I always
have and I always will. I'll wait
for you.

♪ You sparkle like a golden star.

♪ Maintain a mystery and keep
your separate lives apart... ♪

SIREN WAILS

sh*t.

MUSIC STOPS

What?

At that last intersection, you
failed to stop at a stop sign.

There was nothing coming.
It's a stop sign, so you
are legally obliged to stop.

Even if there's nothing coming?
I'm afraid so.

Well, that's stupid.

It's also the law.

Are you going to give me a ticket?

Friendly warning, that's all.

OK, thanks and bye.

Where are you off to in such a rush?

Nowhere.
You're hurrying to nowhere?

I've got an appointment, OK?

This wouldn't be with a certain
criminal remanded in custody,
would it?

How did you know that?
It's my business to know things,

especially about people I care
about. I made it my business
to care about you.

You don't have to any more, OK?

You cannot throw your life
away on that prick.

I'm not.
Pascalle—

Look, it's over, OK? Bye!

Just don't do this, all right?

Get out of my way!

Just talk to me, OK?

(GROWLS)

Don't! What the—?!

CRASH! SIREN BLIPS

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Eric. You cannot keep hanging
around the house like this.

I wasn't — I swear.

Look, I've got nowhere else to go,
Cheryl. No job, no home —
I'm a broken man.

You will be if you don't stop
infesting this place like a bloody
weevil. Where's Jane?

Gone.

'Gone'? Gone where?

Well, Loretta came and
took her. She called out.

You let her take her?

She's not Jack the Ripper. They've
gone off to swimming or some such
nonsense.

Bloody hell!

What the hell are you doing?

Taking Jane swimming.
Why?

Um, because it's Hayden's day,
but he had a meeting.

Well, I was gonna do it.

Well, you don't do swimming.

Yeah, I can swim.

Doggy-paddling doesn't count as
swimming, and Hayden does swimming.

Where the hell is he, then?

I told you — in a meeting,
but it's his day, so—

Shows how much it means to him.

Come on, poppet. Come on. Come on.

You and Mummy go swimming, eh?

God, you are gorgeous.

Thanks. So I found it.

It's where you said it would be.

Well, I wasn't going
to throw it away.

That's where I should have kept it —
best place in the world.

So you really wanna do this?

Come on. Give me this one.

Pascalle, I love you more than
my life — more than anything.

Will you marry me?

Yes. Yes, I will.

PEOPLE CHEER

For real?
You're meant to say
'congratulations'.

My very sincere compliments to you.
Why are you here?

I got your text about the free beer

on the happy occasion of
your big news. Yeah, cheers.

Hey, baby. What's the news?

I am engaged.

To the cop?
No, to Nicky.

He ruined your life
and broke your heart.

But it's better now,
so you can all be happy for me!

How can you marry him
when he's in the can?

He is making the greatest sacrifice
a man can make for love.

Won't be no lovin'
if he's in the can.

Not from any chicks.
That's disgusting.

It's how it goes down in pokey town.

Yeah, how about another round?

No, get it yourself.

Oh sh*t.

Gidday. Could I have a word?

We're kinda meant to be celebrating.

Right.

Pascalle got engaged again...

to Nicky.

You did what?

Look, whatever you came to say,
can we just get it over with?

I have a certain problem to do with
damage to a certain police vehicle.

You crashed into a cop car?

I had to file a report for
insurance, so I need some details.

OK, well, I'll call you.

I'm asking you to come down to
the station, cos if you don't, there
could be charges — careless driving.

I was not 'careless'. I just dinged
your car cos you were in the way.

I don't wanna argue, Pascalle,

so I'll see you tomorrow.
Shall we say ?

sh*t.

So Cheryl came and took her? Again?

On my day?

It was your day; now it's not.

So I should sit back and take this?

Mum hasn't got a lot to
do at the moment, so...

Maybe she should get a hobby
instead of stealing my days.

She's f*cked in the head right now,
so I wouldn't go there.

Well, I just think it needs
to be discussed rationally.

Talk 'rationally' with my mother?

Yeah.

Jesus. What the hell happened here?

From the evidence,
I'd say it was a bloody fry-up.

Eric. Jeez, I told him to go.
I'll bloody k*ll him.

Have you seen Eric?

No. Did you get my text
about my important news,

which I thought someone would
have responded to by now?

You didn't tell me what it was.

Nicky and I are engaged.

Again?

Jeez, he put you through hell.

And then he saved Grandpa.

You don't have to marry him.
A simple 'thank you' would do.

Cheryl, we need to talk.

We'll discuss this later, all right?

Fine! Don't be happy for me.

We need to talk about Jane —
like the swimming thing today.

You were busy.

The arrangements keep on changing.

I went to pick her up from Totally
Tots, and, hey, she's not there.

There's no need for childcare
now that I'm not working.

But I was willing to pay for it.

And Jane likes Totally Tots.

Oh, really?

Well, yeah, they have
toys and stuff.

And we don't have that stuff here?

No, that's not what we're saying.

'We are saying'?

The point is I am Jane's father,
Loretta is her mother—

Her mother?

Oh, for God's sake.

You know, if it was left up to
Loretta, Jane would have been
sold to those pricks in Herne Bay.

Yeah, OK. All right. Maybe. But
Loretta has proved herself, so—

So what?

So we would like to take Jane,
because it is our day, and she
is my daughter.

No, she's my daughter and I know
what she needs. She needs her tea,
a bath and a story, so f*ck off.

Come on, this is pointless.
Go on! Bugger off back to Brisbane!

Go on! f*ck off!

(BREATHES RAGGEDLY)

Jesus, sorry about that.
Sorry, sweetheart. Mummy got cross.

It's the goddess Pascalle. Yeah?
We need to help her — defend her.

If Pascalle was a goddess, she
wouldn't need us. She'd have
super powers.

Mm-hm. She does do a mean
silent fart. (LAUGHS)

No way.
Yes way. Way.

And then she usually blames me.
I'll get that round.

But that cop is harrassing the
goddess of babeliness. We need
to stand up for her.

Fine words, my friend,
and I salute them.

So you and me, Falani,
we take on Gerard.

I salute your fine words, but I do
not wish to be part of any foolish
actions.

So you're not gonna help?

If he raids my house again,

I would face the wrath of the
most powerful force in the land.

Yeah, Sergeant Gerard is not
the most powerful force—

Not him, you h*m*! Mrs Falani!

I better get that -piece
pack she ordered.

What a great big brown p*ssy.

Mrs Falani can be mean
with the jandal, man. When—

This is Pascalle — your friend,
your beloved sister.

But it's Gerard.

You don't mess with him,
or he'd get you back big time.

And I got a baby coming.

And I gotta help with that baby.

And, plus, Pascalle can be
a pretty careless driver, bro.

Started without ya.

(SIGHS) She was hard to
settle. She's teething.

Yeah, probably.

Bloody Hayden and Loretta.

As if daycare's gonna be any better
with all those kids. She's gonna
catch every bug going.

You agree with them.
I wouldn't know.

(SCOFFS)

Hayden and Loretta are hardly
God's gift to parenting.

Hold on, you do agree with them.

Oh, come on, Cher.
Can't you see what you're doing?

I'm looking after Jane.

You wanna keep busy — I get that.
But what you're also doing is having
a good bloody scrap.

You think I don't care about Jane?

I know you care about Jane, but they
want to spend a bit of time with
her, and what's wrong with that?

Yeah—
Maybe Loretta's grown up a bit —
you've said yourself.

And Jane is no substitute for...

Jane is in no way a substitute.

Fine.

I gotta check on security patrol.

Hey, Mr J, Pascalle home?

She's in her room.
Sweet.

Are you gonna be OK?

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I've got
the girls coming round.

Great.

KNOCK ON DOOR

Mum?

No, it's me.

Pascalle, you cannot be
alone in the morning.

Ew, is this you being creepy?

It's about this sh*t with Gerard.

I have to see him, that's all.

Pascalle, you cannot go there
on your own. Not in a possibly
quasi-legal situation with a cop

who has issues, which are maybe not
all that legal. And I know heaps
about driving offences.

And also how a man can get when he's
rejected by a woman with legs of
a supermodel and breasts like...

Ew, Aaron. You're getting creepy.

You need a witness, OK?

Just someone who'll protect,
serve and defend you.

No more breastfeeding.
I am so in for the long haul.

Yay (!)

Oh, don't worry, hon. You'll soon
get back to it. And here we are!
Just like old times.

Yeah, with Loretta
being a total bitch.

Maybe I was tough on her.

Oh God, no.

They might be back together now,
but how long's that gonna last?

She'll go back to being a lesbian,

or she'll burn his house down again.

She burnt Hayden's house down?

I told you that.

Was that before the pet shop?

That was just for money.

What, and that makes it better?

There's no way I'd leave any
baby of mine with an arsonist.

He's not exactly a saint. I mean,
this whole thing that he has for
younger girls.

Ew, no. You're not saying...

No. No.

But how old was Loretta
when they hooked up?

You know, and what if he buggers
off to Brisbane again?

With Jane?

It could happen, you know.
They do it all the time.

Cher, you have to lay down the law.

I just feel, you know, torn.

This is the woman that you said was
an unexploded grenade, but now she's
gone off, and you are Jane's mother.

CELLPHONE RINGS

Jethro. We need a recommendation
for a family lawyer.

Yeah, look, I heard
the, uh, sh*t's hit the fan.

Cheryl's called you.

I told her it wasn't my area, but—

LORETTA: Mummy's boy!

I get that everyone's worked up, OK?

But why don't we cut the lawyer crap
and sit down together and hammer out
a solution or something?

Fine.

(SIGHS) Pascalle.

Hey, officer.

What's he doing here?

The lady wants me here, because
she doesn't wish to speak to you.

Well, maybe she could tell me that.

You don't trick us in that way.

I need her insurance details.

Which she has written down for you.

So we're done.

It's Aaron Spiller, isn't it?

That's me.

What the f*ck have you
got to do with anything?

Well, I'm here as
an expert in traffic.

Oh, you've been disqualified? DIC?

No way. Driving is
my life — as a towie

and now a fully paid-up Tool.

Well, that certainly sums things up.
Maybe you could piss off now.

Zane, I get that you're upset about
your car, but what I'm also reading
here is that you're upset

because this beautiful woman
has chosen another.

Is this guy for real?
No means no here, OK?

And as an officer of the law, you
should know that. You should abide
by that.

Are you threatening me?

What I'm saying is, even if it
breaks your heart, you know,...

(VOICE BREAKS) it chops it into
tiny, painful, little pieces,...
you've got to be a man about that.

You've got to get with
the programme — the Pascalle
programme. Let her go.

Did we really have to do this?

Yes, because we don't want
to get into any cop sh*t here.

This misuse-of-powers sh*t,
cos we will. Oh yeah.

I'm sorry. What did
you just say to me?

Conversation over. Me and
this lady — we are leaving.

Well, thanks for that, Aaron.
You were actually quite awesome.

I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Oh, no, you don't need to.

Aren't you worried he'll come back?

No, I don't think so.

He could turn up at any time.

No, I think you dealt to him.
Yeah, I did, didn't I?

Mm-hm. So thanks and bye.

Do you want to get a coffee?

Oh, actually, no.

ENGINE STARTS

OK, guys, the rules are these —
everyone gets to have their say, OK?
There's no abuse or name-calling.

So 'bite me, gimp'
is out of the question?

No sarcasm.
Only language I speak.

Where's Jane?

She's fine.
Where is she?

With Rochelle.
A secure but undisclosed location.

Ahem.

That was a joke.

Can we get on with this?
I need to get back to Jane.

OK, our preferred option is shared
care — one week on; one week off.

For Christ's sake.

Mum.
No f*cking way.

I thought you'd say that.

So we also thought four days,
then four days.

That way, everyone gets some
weekends, and we all get to do
the fun stuff,

like library and swimming and the
happy-clappy music class, and no one
misses out.

You get to visit her, take her to
whatever classes you like, and you
can have every other weekend.

How the f*ck is that fair?

It's what I want,
and I'm not working.

That's not our fault.

This is what's best for Jane.

I go from seeing her two, three,
four days a week to f*ck all.

That's best for Jane?
I'm her father.

I'm her mother.
Loretta is her mother.

Bullshit she is. I am.

Well, you were happy enough for
anyone to look after Jane when
it suited you.

I beg your f*ckin' pardon?
OK, guys.

It's a fact.

There was a reason for that.

Yeah, I know that, Cheryl, but
we are not f*cking interlopers.

And you are reliable, are you?

When it comes to Jane, yes, we are.

What if you start rooting around?
Or you bugger off to Brisbane?

It's not going to happen.
Or he shafts you in some business,
and then you burn his house down?

Are you never gonna let that go?

Yeah, well, you did it.
Yeah, OK, all right!

We haven't been perfect, but things
have changed, and the fact is I love
Loretta.

Well, it's true. And I'm not gonna
go 'rooting around', as you put it,
or bugger off anywhere!

OK, if you mean that, prove it.

f*ck, I just said it.

If you two are planning on being
together, you should get married.

What?
I just want to make sure Jane's
not being mucked around here.

Marriage is no guarantee of that,

as you well know.

This is what is best for Jane!

Bullshit!
Everyone just calm down, all right?

How can we? The woman's insane.

Well, I think it's fair enough.
Yeah, good one, Mum (!)

It's every second weekend, then.

f*ck you, Cheryl!

Ugh, thanks for trying, Jethro.

You know, Mum, that's not exactly
what I would have called 'trying
to reach a settlement'.

Jane needs a mother,
not two selfish spinners.

I'm not letting her go, OK?

I get the grief, I do,
but we take her to court now.

My family are usually
the defendants.

She can't get away with this.

We go to court — she'll win.

Fathers have rights too.

They don't, actually,
and everyone knows that.

And if you think she's
fighting dirty now...

So that's your best advice, is it?

We're f*cked.

Mum likes to think that she's
clever, but actually, she has all
the subtlety of a charging rhino.

There are similarities.

She only mentioned that marriage
crap cos she knows what I think
about it.

So what do you think of it?
That it's a sad form
of social contract,

constraining the human preference
for serial monogamy through legal,
romantic and religious claptrap.

Right. OK, I won't get
down on one knee, then.

Well, not on this carpet.

Come on, Loretta, you're knocking me
dead with the romance here (!)

Romance is for sissies and idiots.

You know, I wasn't kidding when
I said I loved you in there.

I know. And that's good.

So what's the plan?

Wanna marry me?

PUNK MUSIC PLAYS

SIREN WAILS

OK.

SIREN WAILS

OK, you're an officer of the law,
but that gives you no right to be
a stalker.

What'd you call me?

Officer.

I'm a Detective Sergeant,
and don't you forget that.

(CRIES)

Are you ever gonna talk
to me about my news?

We're busy at the moment.

Hi, guys.
Hi.

We just called in to let you know
that we're getting married.

No way.

To Hayden bloody Peters?

The father of Jane, no less.

No way.

No, no, it's a scam.
I don't believe you.

Hmm, no. You wanted us
to get married, so we are.

You don't believe in marriage.

It's baloney, but you made it
a condition of shared custody,

so we thought, 'Hey, what the heck?'

No, no. It's a trick.
You don't mean it.

Well, the registry office is all
booked. It's all fully documented.

Well, what about parental consent?

(SCOFFS) Sorry if you're having
a flashback, Mum, but you only need
consent if you're or younger,

which you probably were.

There's no rush on that 'four days
on, four days off' thing. But you
agreed to it.

We can talk about it after tomorrow.
Tomorrow?

That's when we're getting married.

Hold on. You can't even get
a marriage licence for three days.

Uh, not if you're from
a large Irish Catholic family,

which means your cousin's wife is
bound to work for Internal Affairs.

You can't do it tomorrow.

Yes, we can.

What about the wedding dress
and the bridesmaids and flowers?

We're not doing any of that sh*t.
It'll just be us and Jane, if she's
allowed, and a few witnesses.

Will it, now?

I see.

Hi. Hey, um, I just wanted to let
you know that I am really really
pleased for you,

even though it is kinda out there.

I'm pretty surprised myself.

Mum's not that happy about it, but
then Mum never is happy for anyone
getting married —

even for people who really are
really in love, like me and Nicky.

Yes, that is my big news,
which you never asked me about.

I thought you might
have had a hangnail.

Are you gonna be mean like everyone
else, who thinks I'm gonna end up
a prison widow?

Well, you're already a widow,
so no problem there.

So you don't think it's terrible?

Whatever spins your wheels, I guess.

I really can't believe that you're
gonna end up married before me,
cos you're weird and difficult.

But I was thinking that maybe
you could be my bridesmaid.

Why would I do
a dumb thing like that?

Cos even though you're weird, you're
still my sister. And I was also
thinking that, um,...

maybe I could be your bridesmaid?

No, you can't.

Why not? Have you
asked someone else?

I told you — we only need witnesses.

But you need someone to hold
the bouquet and adjust your veil.

We're not doing any of that sh*t.

A single bloom —
that makes a statement.

Hey, Ted. It's all yours.

You OK, Ted?

I'm not ashamed to say that I used
to think you were a little Himmler
and a poncing nancy boy,

but if you're going to marry
Loretta, I need to revise that.

That's big of you, Ted.

Are you taking the piss, sunshine?

No, I wouldn't do that.

Good.

The girl doesn't have a father
around, so someone senior might
need to step in here.

You want me to ask for
her hand in marriage?

Don't you have a brain
under that toupee?

Uh, OK.

Ted, I really want to marry Loretta,
and I would be grateful if you
would give us your blessing.

Fine.

But if you piss her about or go back
to your old Gestapo shirt-lifting
ways,

I will be down on you like
a ton of breeze block.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

Good man.

I know I said it, but I didn't think
she'd do it. Loretta hates weddings.

JANE GURGLES

When she was ,
she got a Barbie bride,

and she painted it black, ripped the
head off and put it on a chopstick.
She called it a pike.

It'll be just a ploy. They'll be
divorced within five minutes.

Or they won't.

You don't actually
believe she loves him?

Stranger things have happened.

This four days on,
four days off crap.

It'll give you some free time, and
would that really be so terrible?

You're just pissed off that
I'm not working at the moment.

No, I'm not.

Look, it's a wedding. How bad could
it be? And you love a good shindig.

But Loretta doesn't want a party.

When has that ever stopped you?
What is that supposed to mean?

It means nothing.

Look, I'm not the villain here.

I'm just calling it as I see it.

PHONE RINGS

Judd Security.

Aaron, is that you?

Thanks for coming down, Mr J.

God, what happened to you?

I don't think anything's
broken or anything.

What the hell's going on here?

I noticed a truck exceeding
the speed limit.

I wasn't speeding.

Then he was abusive to an officer.

You said not to call you 'officer'.

Then he became obstructive
and threatening.

Do not thr*aten me! Not ever!

I was just saying how it is.

I was forced to take action
to defend myself.

But anyway, he can clear off now.

Hang on. He did all that,
and you're not charging him?

It's his lucky day. And I think
he learned his lesson.

And what lesson might that be?

That I do not like to be pissed
about by scrotes like him.

How's your family these days?

Good.
Keep 'em in line, all right?

Come on, scrote. You can tell me
about it on the way to A & E.

You know what they say — 'marry
in haste; repent at leisure'.

Well, I guess you'd know, Ngaire.

It's not shotgun, is it?

Can we go now?
We can do that.

You can't go to his house.

The groom can't see the bride
before the wedding — bad luck.

We'll take the risk.

We have to sort your dress
so it doesn't clash with mine.

Since when have you been invited?

I'm her sister.
She wore me down.

You weren't thinking
of having it without me?

Pretty much the plan.

I've been like an uncle to you.

A creepy uncle with boundary issues.

Three years in Palmerston North,
and none of youse gives a monkey's!

Oh my God, oh my God,
I just heard. Is it true?

Yes, and I'm the bridesmaid.

How come I'm not invited?
Jesus!

So, you're actually doing it?

f*cking hell.

Yep, pretty much what
it's turning into.

Christ, you're all here.

Mm. The news has
travelled far and wide.

I texted.

Mm, great (!) We really
really need to go now.

No— No, no, hold on.

Mum, I can't be bothered
having another fight now.

No, I don't want one.

I just want you to get married here.

Not on the back lawn.

It's traditional.

I'm not gonna pay for
a piss-up everyone.

I'll pay for it.
I'll pay if we can
just get out of here.

No granddaughter of mine goes
down a registry office.

OK, fine. I'll get married here, and
I know the perfect person to pay for
it.

I don't have any money.

No, no, not you. Grandpa.

He's loaded at the moment.

Had a lucky break at Trentham.

You didn't tell me.

I was saving it for a surprise.

Great. All settled, then.

Good! I'm gonna go shopping.

Hey, no wedding sh*t and no veil.

Uh-huh, I know. I got it.

Hi, Wayne! ]

What did you do to yourself?

He had a run-in with Gerard.

Over me?
Nah, he kinda pulled me over.

And he did that to you?
That is appalling.

Hey, I'm OK.

I'm gonna go down there
and rip him a new arsehole.

You'd do that for me?

I'd do it for anyone, but, yes,
I would also do it for you.

Yeah, not a wise move.

You just expect me to stand
around here and do nothing?

She wants to do it for me.

What you could do right now
is look after Aaron.

You don't have to, but—

Don't go near Gerard. Don't take
him on, and this will all die down.

OK.

Do you need painkillers?

Oh, it hardly hurts.

I could go a drink.

It'd be my pleasure to buy you one.
Just one, cos I have to go shopping.

OK. (GROANS)

Oh, I'm sorry. Did I hurt you?

No, no, no, not at all.

OK.

In you go. Careful.

AARON GROANS

Hi, it's me. I need help now.

This is quite a big ask.

What, so police should be able to
b*at people up cos they feel like
it?

I mean, look at him! He's a mess.

I'm heaps better now.
No, you're not.

You need to do something, cos it is
wrong, and all I did was end it with
him

because I'm in love with someone
else that stood by me.

Really?
Yes! Nicky!

It's difficult because there's
no witness to the as*ault.

He pulled me over for no reason, and
he hassled me in front of people.

I was there. I'm always there.

Would you be happy with, um, some
kind of apology — something like
that?

No, I want him to leave me
the f*ck alone and also to suffer!

Right on!

OK, I'll make some calls.

No, I don't want calls.
I want justice.

Go to sleep, you. It's way late.
You've got a very big day tomorrow.

This is all your fault, you know.

Goodnight, gorgeous.

Do you think we can
escape to your place?

Uh, not likely. See you down there.

Yes, Grandpa, you can give me away.
And you got the traditional backyard
piss-up.

You try that blackmail on me again,
and you will be pissing blood.

Tightwad.
I don't have a bean —
you remember that.

MEN YELL

You didn't need to get in!

It's not your bloody bed!

I didn't know you'd be here!

Ew, Eric! Were you in my bed?!

I haven't got a bed. Or a life.
Or a place of my own after three
bloody years in Palmerston North!

It could have been a lot worse.

How?
Masterton.

Piss off, Eric!
Oh, you're hard, you are.

I will get violent if
you don't f*ck off now!

Oh Jesus. We're going
to have to fumigate.

BOTH GROAN

Man, this nightmare's
just beginning.

This is my family.

Yeah? Well, mine's gonna be worse
when they find out I didn't do it
in a church.

It's not too late
to back out, you know.

Believe me, I've already been there.

(MOANS) Nowhere near those sheets.

I know how much I ordered, you know.

So generous of you, Ted.

I'll be accounting for every bottle.

(LAUGHS)

Round the back.
I know where they go, Mrs West.

GOLDENHORSE'S
'SAYING MY NAME' PLAYS

What the f*ck are those?

Oh, well, I wanted to get roses or
lilies, but Loretta said no way,

and then I found these, and they
were all spiky and strange, and
I just thought 'Loretta'.

What the hell does he want?

f*ck.

Gidday, Pascalle.

Piss off.

That's a nice greeting (!)

What's going on here?

Something that doesn't involve you.

Can we help you, Sergeant?

I want to speak to your daughter,
cos certain calls were made by
a lawyer claiming to represent you,

claiming that I've
been harassing you.

Which you're doing now.

I wanted the chance to have a proper
conversation with you — just get
some kind of explanation.

It's over, OK? I don't love you,
and I only got together with you
cos I was mad with him,

but now I'm mad with you.

So mad you wanna ruin my career?

Well, you should say sorry
to me and to Aaron Spiller.

I'm not about to do that.

I'm not gonna withdraw my complaint.

And if you don't go, then I'm
gonna get a restraining order.

Oh, Pascalle—
Leave her alone.

I'm just talking here.
She doesn't want to speak with you,

so can you please
get off my property?

What the hell is going on?

Just stuff. Wayne said I shouldn't
do anything, but I had to, Mum.

Why the hell didn't you
tell me what was going on?

It was late, and you were busy.
She's my daughter, Wayne.

I told her not to take him on.

He can't get away with this.

OK, it's not so good,
but I know his type.

Yeah, he's a prick and a bully.

He's a proud man who feels like he's
being made a fool of by idiots like
Aaron.

And Aaron didn't deserve to get
beaten up like that. God, she
had to do something!

Sometimes the best thing to do,
in my experience, is nothing.
Nothing?

Yeah, let things lie, and in the
end, they go away — get better.

God, bugger that for a joke.

Are you gonna storm around here and
get worked up about this as well?

She is my daughter.

And what about your son?

What? I sorted things out
with Jethro ages ago.

Christ almighty, Cheryl.
We had a son.

Do you remember that, at all? ]

Do you think I could forget that?

Then why don't you talk
about him? Mention him?

I can't do this any more.

Weren't you just saying that
sometimes it's best to do nothing?

About this? We do nothing?

What else can we do?

I can't live in
this f*ckin' silence.

OK, you're gonna walk out again
like you did before?

How f*ckin' dare you?

No, you run out of this house,
Wayne, every day and every night.

And what did you do
when I needed you?

You ran to Tutaekuri Bay like you
didn't give a sh*t about me or him.

I said I was sorry.

It's like you didn't care
about him, me or any of us.
Us?

Everyone knows what's going on —
holding on to Jane, treating Loretta
like the enemy.

You know what? If anyone's being
selfish or a bully, it's you.

You hate me.

I hate what you did.
There's a big difference.

Great (!) Are you gonna
leave now or later?

I wanna be at this wedding.
These are the people I love.

Do you?

You know I do.

I still think that white would—

White is for sissies and
people who like dry-cleaning.

But black is just so sad.

Mm-hm, pretty much the saddest.
But fortunately, you're here to add
some garish colour to proceedings.

Are you making a statement? You
know, cos you got forced into this.

No, I didn't.

But, you are, like, settled down
with a kid before you're even .

I'm not settling down.

Uh, you so are. Face it.

Are you having second thoughts? ]

There you are, you beautiful thing.
God, I love you so much.

Hi.

Hi.

JANE GURGLES

You look, um,... you look nice.

Well, I don't do white.

JANE GURGLES

OK, let's get this over with.

ROCK MUSIC

Call me sentimental,
but I just love a wedding.

Is Hayden even here yet?

Nah, nah, he was here.

Well, he could still think the
better of it and bugger off to
Brisbane.

Oh, they are doing it!

GUESTS CHEER

(LAUGHS)

Come to Uncle. Come on, bubba.

Friends and family, we are gathered
here today in the sight of—

I told you — no God, no sponsor
mentions. Stick to the lines.

We are here for a wedding, which is
not in the sight of any higher being
of any persuasion, and here we go

I, Loretta, take you, Hayden,
to be my legal husband.

Uh, all right, then. I, Hayden, take
you, Loretta, to be my legal wife.

Great. And we're done here.

Is that it?

That's all you have to do, legally.

Lloyd can do way better than that.

What about the 'loving, cherishing',

and the, 'you rock my world'?

And I do have The Prophet.

If you read that, you are so dead.

What about rings, bro?
MUNTER: Yeah, rings.

Actually, I did go shopping.

I'm not gonna wear a ring!

KASEY AND ROCHELLE: Wear a ring!

GUESTS SHOUT

Fine. You have that one;
I'll have this one.

Hey, hey, hey, wait. Wait.

You are amazing.

Don't go soppy now, OK?

All right, um, you so make me laugh.

And you may now kiss the bride.

That's not in the lines.

Trust me, it goes down
a treat with the punters.

GUESTS CHEER

FALANI: Oh yeah! You can do it!

OK, can we get out of here now?

Oh yeah.

Hey, you can't go now.

No bloody way.

I spent a fortune on this spread!

Speech.
Van, you're not gonna give a speech.

Mum wants to do one.

Well, you're sh*t out of luck.

PEOPLE PROTEST

We've got rings! That's all you're
getting. And Jane really needs her
nap.

Jane wants a speech.

Bye.

GUESTS GROAN

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

See you soon, but you need
to have your nap now.

She likes her blankie.

She's got blankie.

Do you think I don't know
anything about Jane at all?

I know you do.

It's what I've been wanting to say
to you. You just wouldn't bloody
let me.

I didn't want to be Jane's mother.
You were right about that.

Well, you are now.

I am.

Even if I was a bit
f*cked up about it.

I've been a f*cked-up unit myself.

I only wanted what was best
for you and Jane.

You know, I... I just
want you to be happy.

I am happy.

You just married Hayden
to piss me off.

Not entirely.

Come here.

(SIGHS)

OK, I get that this is a moment,
but please don't make a habit of it.

Oh. I hate to interrupt.

I said to Hayden that you can't
leave until you have the first
dance, so you have to make her, Mum.

Go on.

♪ A winning love is
hard enough to find.

God, this music is so crap. Can't
you just take me home and f*ck me?

Yes, baby, let's just do that.

♪ Hold on,

♪ and give it all you have.

♪ When it's given back,

♪ you'll be a powerful man,
and, well, here she comes.

♪ In walks my baby.

Shall we, lovely lady?

No, Aaron, we won't.

You reckon I should make
a move on that scorcher?

Yeah, go for it, Eric.

♪ ...in love.

♪ Wouldn't you rather be in love?

Hey, babe.

HARD KNOCK ON DOOR

Yeah?

We're entitled to search
the premises.

Where's your search warrant?

I don't need one.
Misuse of dr*gs Act.

How the f*ck could you turn up
at a time like this?

That is offensive language,
and you're under arrest. Get her.

PEOPLE ARGUE

OK, take him as well.

PEOPLE SHOUT

Arrest him too.

♪ If you wanna leave the
troubled world behind you.

Leave her alone, you prick!

PASCALLE: Let go!

I told you! Let me go, you bastard!

Let me go!
Let her go!

f*ck!
You want to go down for as*ault?

Piss off!

(GROANS)

Let her go, you bastard!
(GROANS)

♪ Tell me why.

♪ Shouldn't you oughta be in love?

(GASPS)

Oh God.

♪ Shouldn't you oughta be—? ♪

g*nshots