06x16 - callme@m*rder.com

[bunniefuu]

Bandit, you're so naughty.

My breasts are quivering.

That's okay.

My hands are real steady.

How big are your hands?

How big are your breasts?

Laughing out loud, bandit.

Meet me?

Counting the nanoseconds.

Oh, geez, Millie, you scared me.

- Oh, I'm sorry, hon.

I was just coming to tell
you dinner's almost ready.

- Oh, I can't.

A client just emailed me, something wrong

with the concrete.

It's not setting properly.

- Oh, well, will you be gone long?

- I hope not

but you know how these things are.

- I know. - Bye.

I'll try to get back at a
decent hour, but don't wait up.

You get some sleep.

- Okay.

Hey.

I love you.

- Me too.

- Hey, baby, you falling asleep on me?

What's the matter?

- Nothing, I stubbed my toe.

What? - You did it.

You actually bought a computer.

- No interest, no payments till march.

What is so funny?

- Well, it's kind of an
expensive paperweight, isn't it?

- I see, you think I'm incapable
of operating a computer,

do you?

- Tom, you can't even play Nintendo.

- Well, I'm not a propeller head,

but I had to do something, cassy.

I'm lagging behind

in an exciting new world of possibilities.

- You know, Tom, you'll
never learn to speak binary

because you're right-brained.
- Wrong, wrong.

The saleswoman told me
that I'd be completely literate

within a couple of few easy lessons.

- Oh, okay, saleswoman, lesson,

now it's all beginning to make sense.

- Cassy, you gotta see this woman.

She's unbelievable.

I mean, I go in to buy
a couple of aa batteries,

the next thing you know I'm
falling into these alluring eyes

and I'm signing up for windows .

- , Tom, windows . - Whatever.

What's going on here?

- Henry Austin, building contractor.

Clean-cut guy, $ in his wallet,

credit cards intact,
no sign of forced entry.

- Doc, can you tell us anything?

- Andy warhol was shockingly
overrated as a painter,

but I think we're due for
a Jackson pollock revival.

Single-contact wound
to the base of the skull

just below the left ear, probably a . .

- Didn't we just do this?

- , days ago.

Linda urbaniak, only she
was inanimate for hours.

- Yeah, I think I pronounced
her from half a block away.

Now, this one, let's see.

Fixed lividity, cloudy corneas,

I'd say this one's been
dead six, maybe eight hours.

- Nobody heard or saw anything suspicious.

Forensics got lucky, though.

They found three long blond hairs

and one bright red fingernail.

- Can we get DNA from that fingernail?

Not that one, it's plastic.

- Well, at least he died quickly.

- Yeah, quick and happy.

The guy had just had sex.

Tom, cassy, look at this.

See this stellar bursting in the skin?

Now, that's point-blank.

That's how the pros do it.

Close, quick, and clean.

- Do you think they're mob hits?

- I don't know.

No robbery, no sign of a struggle.

I agree with the doctor's diagnosis.

It was probably a professional job.

- A hitwoman has sex with her targets?

- Oh, come on, the
last victim was a female.

- It's palm beach.

It's the ' s.

Okay.

Well, this guy can't tell us anything else.

We'd better go tell his wife.

I'm telling you, cassy,
this is state-of-the-art.

Pentium .

" Meg edo ram, svga active matrix,

" by , . gigabyte
hard drive, eight times cd-rom."

Shall I go on?

- Do you even know what any of that means?

- It means you're jealous.

Oh, I'm jealous?

Please.

- Cassy, I've been watching you.

You've been drooling over the thing

like a woman over her ex-husband's car.

- I own my ex-husband's car

and, you know, I don't require
all the bells and whistles.

My is everything I need
and beyond that, actually.

- You're right.

We can't all be like you. - Nope.

Out of date.

- At least I know how to run one.

You're in denial.

- Miss Austin? - Yes.

- I'm sergeant St. John, palm beach police.

This is my partner, sergeant Ryan.

We'd like to have a word with you.

- What's this all about?

It's about your husband.

- Henry.

Has he done something wrong?

Is he in trouble?

- May we come in?

- Please.

Thank you.

- I can't believe it.

He told me he was gonna go see a client.

What was he doing in a hotel room?

- Did he mention a name?

- No, Henry always
kept his affairs to himself.

How could I be so dumb?

- Did he have any enemies?

Anyone that, well, that he might
have rubbed the wrong way?

- Oh, no.

No, Henry was a good man.

He was a good husband.

- Your initial reaction was
to ask if he was in trouble.

- Oh, well, two police
officers at my front door,

what do you expect?

You're not suggesting that I
know who k*lled him, are you?

- No, I'm not asking that.

I'm asking if there was
anything strange going on,

unfamiliar people hanging around,

suspicious phone calls, that sort of thing.

- Oh, no.

No, but like I said, he
kept his business to himself.

- Did your husband ever mention
anyone named Linda urbaniak?

Do you suspect her of something?

- She was found m*rder*d

in the same fashion as your husband.

- Urbaniak?

No, I've never heard that name before.

- Do you mind if we take
a look in Henry's office?

- No, you can't go in there.

- Why not?

- Oh, well, I'm sorry,
but, first of all, it's locked.

He always keeps it locked

in case someone were
to come by with children.

- And you don't have a key?

- He kept it on his key chain.

No one's allowed to go in
there, not me, not anybody.

- He's not gonna get angry
with you, Millie, not now.

- But they're very private files.

I mean, construction is such
a highly competitive business,

and I just can't let anyone in there

and open up the secrets just
to anybody, especially not now.

- I know, I understand what you're saying,

but we need to take a look

because we could find something in there

that could lead us to
your husband's k*ller.

- I never defied my
husband while he was alive.

I won't do it now that he's dead.

- We can get a search warrant, Mrs. Austin.

We come back with a locksmith.

- Well, then you're gonna have

to get your warrant, sergeant.

- Nice machine.

What does that run on,
a hamster in a wheel?

- Yes.

You see, that's what
I've been trying to tell you.

Yeah, well, of course,
it has to be a mistake.

See, I did not make a $ , deposit.

Yes, but...

Uh-huh, mm-hmm, yeah, right, I'll hold.

Banks.

- The least helpful
institutions on the earth.

You'd think it was their money.

- You just have to know
how to deal with them, Harry.

The trick is to speak
in slow measured tones.

- Thanks, I'll try that.

Here's your warrant.

So what'd you find? - Not much.

I went over urbaniak with a lint brush.

There's no priors, no outstandings,

no indication she ever met Henry Austin.

- And Austin? - Lysol clean.

Probably the first
honest building contractor

that Florida's ever produced.

- This guy's so not connected
he couldn't spell mob.

I just don't think it was a contract hit.

- Me says that the blond hair
from the second m*rder scene

is consistent with a
few strands from the first.

Problem is we can't type them.

- Why not?

- It was a wig.

- Blond hair and fake fingernails.

I got it.

The perp is Dolly Parton.

So what do you think?

We're looking at a serial k*ller here?

- A sex slayer who likes boys and girls?

That would be a first, wouldn't it?

- Yeah, but it is palm
beach, and it is the ' s.

- This is not good, hello.

Hello, yes, listen.

I was explaining to the, hello?

Hello!

I'm on hold again.

- Well, you stay on hold, skipper.

We'll check Henry's sock drawer.

Oh, wow, million.

Do you wanna split a ticket?

- What, and blow cents?

Come on, that's voluntary taxation, cassy.

Nobody ever wins those things.

- Cassy, cassy, wait a minute.

I'm in. - Perfect.

Come in.

Please don't make a mess.

Henry was very particular.

- Should I fire it up?

- No, why don't you
check the filing cabinets,

and I'll look at the hard
drive, see what's playing?

- I see, I get the grunt work, right?

- I'd swap tasks with you

but I don't see a copy of "dos for dummies"

on his desk, do you?

That's right, enjoy it while you can.

Trust me, I've got all
the time in the world.

- Never dare a man with a private tutor.

- Oh, that's not a dare.

That's just a melancholy admission of fact.

- bucks. - Why not ?

- I get a couple of weeks? - Take all year.

Anything?

- Ah, invoices,
blueprints, office supplies.

A startling collection of adult cd-roms.

Plus a toothbrush,
toothpaste, Remington shaver.

This guy could have lived here.

What do you got, cass?

- Guy filled up half a gigabyte.

He must have done a lot
of business on his computer.

Henry Austin was a pretty boring

guy, if you ask me.

- "Tell me again what you'll do to me.

"I'm almost there."

- Excuse me? - "Will you tie me up?

"Will you bind my hands with
strong rope and take me from..."

- hey, hey, hey.

- I wouldn't show
this stuff to Larry flynt.

What is this, a diary?

- Well, it looks like the downloads

from an Internet chat room.

- Is that legal?

- Private communication,
same as first class mail.

Were there any screen
names attached to the dialogue?

- Uh, well.

- Don't worry, you got all year.

You see, people pick
monikers for chatting online.

Like, flyme, dreamweaver,
double down, sweet p.

- Which one's Henry?

- Hmm, from the looks
of it, Henry was bandit.

- Do you suppose we'll find Linda urbaniak

in that chat room?

- I wouldn't bet bucks against it.

- And if she is there,

then our two unconnected
victims just got connected.

- I see you're right on time.

It must be some sort of hardware glitch.

- Do these things happen often?

- Almost never.

You must be jinxed.

Look, I'm off for the next couple of days

but you can leave it with me if you like

and I'll exchange it for you.

- Well, I was really looking
forward to this lesson.

I can teach you other things.

- Really?

- I'm harmless, Tom.

- Oh, I know.

- Computer salesperson by day, true.

But this, this is what I really am.

- Which is what?

- You can call me a taromancer.

I read cards.

I cast spells.

I help people solve problems

much like the one plaguing you right now.

Your aura's in tragic shape.

- That's a bad thing? - I should say so.

The aura's a reflection of the psyche,

a mirror into the soul.

And right now, yours is the color of mud.

Have you been having bad luck lately?

- Well, I stubbed my toe this morning.

Does that count?

- Trust me, it's coming.

- Is there good news?
- Of course, you met me.

I'll show you how to fix things.

- That won't include chanting
in my underwear, will it?

- Goodness, no, you'll
definitely need to do it naked.

I'm just kidding.

Yeah.

- Here, this is for you.

I want you to keep it with you
always even while you sleep.

Do it for three days in a row

and then come back and thank me properly.

- January, this is, well,
this is very nice of you,

and I appreciate it.

I just don't know if I buy into this stuff.

- I know that you're skeptical.

But soon, in your heart, you'll know.

You see, there are times
when the blanks are too large

to fill in with logic.

You have to feel 'cause
nothing else will make any sense.

Sorry, phone.

I didn't hear a phone.

- Psychic hotline, January speaking.

- Uh.

What are you doing here so early?

- Huh?

Have you been home yet?

- You know, I can't believe
people stay up all night

in these rooms on purpose.

- So, what did you get?

- Well, both victims were
on the same chat channel.

The service provider gave
up urbaniak's screen name

under threat of court order.

- How nice of them.

- You know, skipper,

I think we do have a serial k*ller loose

who's finding victims on the Internet.

- A gender nonspecific sex slayer.

Nah, I don't know, do I buy that?

- Yeah, but don't you get it?

The whole purpose of the net

is so you can create your own identity.

You can choose your age,
you can choose your gender.

You can choose your victim.

- Yeah.

Fits in with the blond wig
and the fake fingernails.

- Mm-hmm.

I found some usernames
common to Austin and urbaniak,

aka I've got bandit, flyme.

There's sweet p, dreamweaver, double down.

And I sent messages, but
only two of them responded,

sweet p and double down.

- Responded to what?

- Good afternoon.

How was your lesson?

- Well, first my new $ , toy tanked.

And then the computer
lady turned out to be a witch.

- Hey, language, language.
- No, I'm serious, Harry.

A real nose-twitching, Elizabeth
Montgomery kind of witch.

She had a candlestick, broomsticks,

you know, crystals, everything.

I was buying into it for a while

until she told me my
aura needed dry cleaning.

- Oh, that sounds serious.

- She gave me this for luck.

- Oh, that's beautiful.

- You can have it.

- Hey, hey, it's enough
with the jewelry, all right?

What's next?

- I set up appointments with
both of them in half an hour.

Let's go, lover boy, because
sweet p is expecting a man.

- Sweet p? - Yeah.

And I'll go question double down.

- Are you fantasy?

Yeah, yes, I am.

- I'm sweet p.

You don't look like an over-the-hill jock

pining for his gorgeous ex-wife.

- Cassy.

Yeah, well, you don't look
like your average cyber geek.

Nothing about me is average.

So, we got a room?

- Well, I thought maybe we'd
just sit here and chat a while.

- We chatted online.

Now the meter's running.

- The meter? - Didn't you figure it out?

Sweet p as in costs a pretty penny.

bucks, is that a problem?

- No, no problem, let me get that for you.

A cyber hooker, huh?

I love that.

Do you have any ID, miss p?

- And I thought the Internet
would be a safe place

to do business.

- Well, I've got news for
you, Patti Prescott, it's not.

I'm looking at two dead bodies,

and you're connected to both of them.

- Dead?

Who's dead?

You don't think I had anything
to do with someone dying?

- Do you know Henry Austin?

s, building contractor.
- I've never heard of him.

Look, in my business, names
don't come up that often.

I'm paid to forget them if they do.

- What about bandit? - I know bandit.

Something happen to him?
- I'm afraid it did.

Do you know him in the chat room sense

or the biblical sense?

Okay, I had sex with bandit.

- You did?

Two nights ago, shoreline motel?

- What if I did?

- What time did you last see him?

I don't know.

He conked out pretty early.

I left, he was snoring like a pug dog

probably resting up for the next one.

Guy was into the marathon
sex thing, major swinger.

Didn't usually have to pay for it either.

I was the exception.

He said I reminded him of someone.

- Who?

What about Linda urbaniak, flyme.

- Fly's dead?

- She was a client of yours too?

- I don't do scenes, detective,
not in the flesh, at least.

That's what virtual reality's for.

- I don't suppose you got
a hard copy of these chats,

do you?

- Oh, yeah, like a working
girl's gonna give up

her black book.

- Either that or I bust
you for prostitution.

Choose or lose.

- Okay, okay.

You'll have it first thing in the morning.

Can I go now?

- Yeah, but don't go far.

- I'd like a double latte
with a shot of hazelnut

and lots of whipped cream,

and a chocolate chip
croissant, extra butter.

- Orange juice and mineral water, please.

- That's it? - Yeah.

I like to t*rture myself
with good nutrition.

- Yeah, it shows.

I felt like going on a diet once.

It passed.

So, what's your real name anyway?

- Cassandra.

- Get out. - Yeah,

it was my mother's idea.

- You can tell a lot about
somebody by their name.

Wait a minute.

My name is les.

- Well, my whole name
is Cassandra St. John,

sergeant Cassandra St. John,

and I need to ask you some questions.

- Oh, rats.

You were the cutest one yet.

Hey, can I still have that croissant?

- Sure.

- See, you gotta understand, sergeant,

the whole reason we're
on the net is for secrecy.

Some of us have fantasies

we just don't want out in the open.

- So, you never met
bandit or flyme in the flesh?

- No, even though I invited
them both many times.

- Both of them?

In cyberspace, Cassandra,
all things are possible.

- I'm inclining against
sweet p as our doer.

Smart hookers rarely
sh**t their steady customers

in the head.

- As for double down, I could
barely keep a straight face.

I just don't feature him as the hitter.

- Which leaves us with
the reluctant dreamweaver.

I wonder what he, she,
or it is doing right now.

- What did you do now?

- Nothing, nothing, I cut myself

cutting mushrooms for breakfast.

- Oh, that's funny.

I won a cd player in my box of cocoa puffs.

I can give you that amulet back, you know.

- Cassy, this has nothing to do

with a lucky rabbit's foot, okay?

- Mm-hmm.

So where's that sweet Patti Prescott?

She hasn't come in?

- It's early yet.

- Here's her sheet.

She popped in ' for soliciting.

Her fingerprints match a set of prints

found in Henry Austin's hotel room.

- She didn't deny being there.

Now, if you told me it was
Linda urbaniak's bedside

that they were at, I'd be
getting a little nervous.

- Maybe she was careful
the first time around,

then she got cocky.

They found blond hair at both scenes.

- A wig.

Maybe it was your bisexual coffee date.

- Oh, speaking of les
calman, you're gonna love this.

Guess what his day job is.

He's a minister.

- You're joking. - No.

And not one of those
touchy-feely kind of churches.

One of those sodomites-burn-in-hell

kind of places.

- Henry and Linda were engaged

in a little cyber blackmail perhaps?

- Maybe the reverend
got tired of paying off

and he figured a . caliber
b*llet was more cost-effective.

- I'd like to ask dreamweaver

what she thinks about all this.

- If it's even a she.

- What did the online company have to say?

- Dreamweaver opened the account

with a money order from j. Smith,

paid every month the same way.

You know, we may never put a face

to this dreamweaver at all.

- Keystroke entertainment,
how can I help you?

Sweet p, it's double down.

- Are you crazy, calling me offline?

Meet me in the room tonight, like always.

- No, there's no time for that.

The police have been to see me.

- Me, too.

You get used to it.

You afraid your little
secret's gonna get out?

- It's worse than that.

Bandit and flyme are dead.
- I know, the cops told me.

I'm gonna miss bandit.

He was hot stuff.

I would have done him for free.

- Don't you get it?

That's two of us gone.

What if you're next on the list or me?

- Maybe the two of us
should talk in real time.

- Good.

- Frannie, since when do I lie to you?

Yes, two tickets to Tel Aviv.

Why, why?

Because I know how much
you've always wanted to go,

and frankly, I'd like to check
on all those trees I planted.

Yeah.

Frannie, if the financial mavens

over at citrus coast community bank

insist it's our money, who are we to argue?

That's right.

All right.

I love you, too.

Bye-bye.

Do I have to tie you up and
stuff you in a steamer trunk?

Yeah, I'm sorry, officer.

Go ahead.

Wait, hold, hold, hold, hold, hold.

Mm-hmm.

I got it, okay.

Yep, that's our les, aka
double down all right.

- Cass? - Yeah?

- You ever see me dressed like that,

you go ahead and sh**t me too.

- Reverend calman met the
same fate as your other friends,

. behind the ear.

Neat, quick, not entirely painless.

Did you know that more Americans

have died of g*n-related
injuries in their own homes

than have died in all
the wars we've fought in

since and including
the American revolution?

Oh, by the way, this one didn't have sex.

- So much for your inclination
on the voluptuous Patti.

Miss Prescott never showed up

with her pornographic printouts, did she?

- No, no, but if it was her

and she didn't want us to see them,

why didn't she bother to get rid of his?

- Now, double click on that icon.

There, you see, you're in.

- Eight minutes just to get online?

I haven't even typed anything yet.

I could have written an entire
letter by now and mailed it.

- Yes, but would it arrive

at that very same moment in Stockholm?

- Sounds like witchcraft to me.

But either I begin to grok
computerese or I lose a $ bet.

Okay, what happens if I do this?

Are those football scores?

- Mm-hmm.

- See, this is the stock market report.

This is fantastic.

It's updating itself.

Okay, I'm going to sex.Alt.Bestiality.

By George, he's got it.

Oh

Ryan.

Okay, yeah, I'm on my way.

Well, there's one bet I did lose.

My cyber snitch didn't show.

Now we have to go to her.

It's Tom Ryan, open the door.

Patti?

Patti Prescott?

Cassy, I'll check the back room.

Let's get an apb out.

- Forget the apb.

We need the coroner's office.

- Four bodies.

It's getting a little out
of hand, don't you think?

- Well, there's only one
other possible suspect.

- Who? - Dreamweaver.

If it really is a she.

It's the only name that we have
in common with every victim.

- Set up some kind of a meeting.

I'll get surveillance and a backup.

- I'm trying, but she's
playing a little hard to get.

- Then change your bait.

Ryan, go ahead.

You go chat to the lady.

- Stand back, let the expert do his work.

Dreamweaver, come on down.

I've got plans for us.

You see how easy it is

to make a date with a mystery blonde

if you're bilingual in binary?

There's nothing but
blondes out here tonight.

- Remember, cass,
computers are our friends.

- Don't push your luck, Ryan.

She's over an hour late.

- Well, maybe she's waiting
for the crowd to thin out.

Uh-oh, uh-oh, heads up.

Incoming, o'clock.

- I got your back, Tom.

- All right, move, move in.

Move in, move, move, move.

Oh.

Hey.

Ah, false alarm, old girlfriend.

- That's it, folks.

She's three hours late.

She's not gonna show.

Let's go home.

- Go for St. John.

- Sergeant St. John, it's Millie.

You remember me?

- Of course.

Mrs. Austin, what time is it?

Are you all right?

- Well, I found something
kinda funny in Henry's office,

and I thought it might
help you with your case.

- Okay, I'm on my way.

- It's just right in here.

I don't know exactly what it means.

- Well, at this point,
anything would be a big help.

- I'm always happy to help.

I haven't taken my medication
for quite some time now.

Makes me monochrome.

Takes all the color out.

Oh, I just needed to breathe.

I hope you don't mind.

I was there tonight.

I saw you.

All those prying eyes.

You know, am I really that easy to trick?

That's why I got there early.

See, sometimes if you get
there late, you never leave.

Time has taught me the virtues of caution.

And caution has taught
me the virtue of time.

- It seems you've been
extremely busy for some time.

- Oh, yes.

But I'm not done yet.

- Here, shuffle, and then
pick three sets of three.

Past, present, and future.

- I don't know, January.

Don't you think you're a little,

a little too intelligent
for fortune-telling?

- This is a lot closer to
psychology than fortune-telling.

The tarot was based on ancient archetypes

that still hold true today.

It's your psychic energy that
draws you to the right card.

See?

- Why'd you k*ll them all, Millie?

Is it because they had
sex with your husband?

Now, see, there's nothing wrong with sex.

Horses do it.

But it's that machine.

He would lock himself up
in that room day and night,

talking the most perverse...

He wouldn't touch me anymore.

Just wanted fantasy.

And that's what you are, right, fantasy.

- I'm a police officer, Millie.

And the longer you keep me here,

the worse it's gonna be for you.

- Oh.

- This isn't good.

But I don't understand.

It's almost like it's not about you.

Is there a woman in your life?

- What, the cards can't tell you that?

I'm shocked.

Is there?

- Well, I'm divorced.

- But you still care for her deeply.

- Yeah, yeah, I do.

- Blonde, control freak.

First name starts with maybe k or c?

- Yeah.

What about her?

- She's in terrible danger.

- You ever k*ll anybody?

Did you know that
band-aids hold fingerprints?

So do tomatoes.

But you can't get them
off of brick or cloth.

- You've been reading. - Oh, I love books.

They allow me to go to places in my head,

places where I don't have to feel.

- Is that why you k*lled them like that?

Mob execution style?

It's something you read in a book?

- Heavens, no.

My father, back in Kentucky,

used to k*ll livestock like that.

"Mildred," he'd say,

"Mildred, if you're gonna
slaughter something,

"do it right.

"Take pride in your work."

- It's interesting sentiments
to bestow on your children.

- Are you ridiculing my father?

- No, Millie, I'm not.

Just, I'd like to help you.

- Oh, sure.

That's what they said to me in the hospital

right before they tried
to jam that rubber spoon

in my mouth.

- I'm sure the doctors meant well.

- You think you're better
than me, don't you?

Well, you're not.

'Cause I'm not the one dying tonight.

- You're serious about this?

- I'm deadly serious, Tom.

This is cassy.

I'm not in.

You know what to do.

- She should have been home ages ago.

- Mm, Henry loved this
particular shade of red.

- Come on, cass.

I -paged her.

That's means two inches
short of life or death.

- I told you.

- I gotta go, I'm sorry.

- You like k*lling now, don't you, Millie?

Les calman never slept with your husband.

But you need it now.

It's become your fantasy.

- Don't worry.

It's almost over.

And then the serial k*ller
that your friends are looking for

will have moved on.

It'll be a relief.

- No, it's never gonna be over.

It's not gonna stop, not
until you're caught or dead.

He used to love it when
I wore these to bed.

But a lifetime of faking passion

became a lifetime of no passion at all.

Yeah, it's Tom Ryan.

Did St. John check in?

Uh-huh, did she say where she was going?

So what do you think?

- I think you're sick.

- Oh, besides that.

- It doesn't have to be this way.

You can turn yourself in and
you can get the help you need.

Well, cassy, don't worry,

because it won't hurt.

I promise.

- Freeze!

Partner, are you okay?

- Yeah.

- I don't have the key.

- Hey, great day to be alive, ain't it?

Don't talk to me.

- What's wrong with you?

- So the bank swears

that their $ , error wasn't an error.

"Rest assured, captain lipschitz,

"our computers don't make $ , errors.

"The money is yours, every penny of it."

So I book a trip to Israel with frannie.

She's always wanted to go,
I wanna check on my trees.

- Well, that's terrific. - That's terrible.

A bill from the credit card company.

$ , cash advance plus fees and interest.

I had to call my cousin Celia,
the travel agent, and cancel.

Now she thinks I'm a ganef.

- Call her back.

- What? - Call her back, we won.

We won. - Won what?

- We won the state lotto,
five out of six numbers.

Read it and weep, $ , , and Harry and I

are gonna split it down the middle.

- If it wasn't a harassment
suit waiting to happen,

I'd kiss you on the mouth.

Instead, I'll call frannie.

Here, hold that.

- Yeah, not too bad for
voluntary taxation, huh?

- Yeah, go ahead, I deserve it.

- Aw, nah, it's okay.

You look like a man
who's learned his lesson.

Yeah, that's me.

You win the bet, cass.

Computers and I do not
speak the same language.

- Oh, dear.

Huh, too bad.

I thought you were gonna
be the next Bill Gates.

- Yeah, I was until I
pushed the wrong button

and deleted everything on my hard drive.

- Oh, my, you are jinxed.

- Speaking of which, that
crystal that January gave me,

I'd like that back.

- Oh, you would.

Well, good luck. - Cass.