08x13 - Strange Bedfellows

[bunniefuu]

Well...

You sure give a whole new meaning

to the term "meet the press."

A seasoned reporter should be able

to tell when it's time

to put a good story to bed.

Don't, uh...

Don't you guys normally do follow-ups...

On your stories?

We do.

We have a responsibility

to make sure that the story is straight.

Oh.

Yours or mine?

It's got to be yours.

Mine chimes.

Geez Louise, now?

What?

When the senator calls you got to go.

Where?

Well, off the record

I got to go pick him up

at his girlfriend's

before he decides to drive himself.

And on the record?

On the record...

Senator pfeiffer's going to vote

for most favored trade
status with North Korea.

Are you serious?

Unfortunately, yes.

I got to go.

Call .

Hurry!

Yeah, yeah, okay.

Oh, my god, senator pfeiffer.

You low on gas?

No, why?

Oh, see, I'm just trying to figure out

why in god's green earth

you are driving so slow

when you know that I'm late for my plane!

That's a negative attitude to take

with someone who is house-sitting for you.

I'm grateful, I'm grateful I
am grateful, drive faster.

So why weren't you packed this morning?

Faster, 'cause I stayed up

last night watching bullitt.

Bullitt.

Steve McQueen, bullitt.

Yeah, I know it, it's stupid.

You're calling the greatest
movie ever made stupid?

Oh, please.

The greatest movie ever made

was Titanic, hands down.

Oh, please!

Oh...

What?

You say that 'cause it's a chick flick.

Oh, this ought to be good.

That old lady hangs on
to a priceless necklace

for, what, years?

Does she sell it

and live high off the old hog, no.

Does she donate it to charity?

No.

Does she give it to her granddaughter

who could desperately use it? No.

It was an invaluable keepsake.

Then why would she throw it in the ocean?

That, you neanderthal,
was a romantic gesture.

I'm going to teach you a lesson.

See, when the dramatic payoff in a movie

is obviously pointless, stupid and selfish

and someone thinks that that is romantic

that is a chick flick.

As opposed to a film where
the cop destroys private property

he trashes his car

he endangers the public

in the pursuit of nothing!

Exactly.

Bullitt, Steve McQueen,
greatest movie ever made.

If you didn't have to be in Boston

for your father's operation, I
would let you out right here.

You're a sore loser.

Cassy St. John's answering service.

Yes, I'll tell her, Harry.

I'll tell him.

What?

Harry wants you to meet him.

There's been a fatal hit and run

over at the grove terraces area.

Yay, yay, yay.

Lipschitz: Did he catch his plane?

Just barely. So what do we got?

Looks like a Jane Doe was hit

when she was trying to cross the street.

Any eyewitnesses?

Yeah.

He saw the whole thing.

Here.

Let me ask you a question.

Yeah.

What do you think the odds are

that Tom is going to burn down

his father's restaurant?

Short, very short.

Mr. Permelia, hi.

I'm sergeant St. John.

You saw what happened?

Yeah. Okay, okay.

I didn't see the woman actually get hit

but I, I saw the guy.

The driver of the car
that struck the woman.

No, no... okay; When I got here

this guy was already leaning
over the woman's body.

And then I went to call

and then he went back to the car.

And by the time I came
back, he was just gone.

We already got a partial
on the license plate

and a description of the vehicle.

How long are you staying at the huntington?

Uh, through the end of the week.

All right, thank you for your help.

Just let us know if your plans change.

Man: Yes, I know her.

That's Mary Ellen caprese.

Mr. Helms, did you see her leave

her apartment last night?

No, but her profession

often required her to go out

or come home late at night.

What'd she do for a living?

I am a man of the Bible.

I cast not stones nor judgments.

Well, unfortunately, it's part of my

job description

so if you could just Chuck a stone

and tell me what she did.

She was a cyprian.

And for those of us who missed Sunday

school that day

uh... what is a cyprian?

A harlot.

Oh, okay.

So she was a hooker.

Did she have any regular Johns?

Her paphian evils were not confined

to just one man's poor wretched soul.

I'll take that as a "no."

And if anything besides
lightning strikes you

if you could just give me a call.

Thank you.

Lipschitz: Please, tell me that the victim

was a sweet librarian who
cared for wounded animals.

Yeah, well, you know, she could have been.

But, uh, that was before
she was a hooker, why?

Because the d.M.V. Matched
the partial plate to the vehicle.

And the registered owner is?

Senator orrin pfeiffer.

Ten bucks he says "are
you accusing me" first.

Please, he's going to
open with "how dare you."

Can I help you?

Cassy: Palm beach P.D.

Man: Hmm...

I'm James elwood, one
of the senator's l.A.S.

He calls me "Jamie."

Captain lipschitz;

sergeant St. John.

What's an "L.A.?"

Legislative assistant.

He's got four of us; My
expertise is in arranging

the financing of bills
proposed by the senator.

Woman: In other words, he figures out

for my husband

how to Rob Peter to pay Paul.

Hi, Cameron pfeiffer.

Jamie: Sergeant St. John

and, uh, captain lip... schitz?

Yeah, lipschitz.

Orrin's almost finished.

Shall we go wait in the den?

Could I get you something to drink?

No, no thanks, we're okay.

Officers, um, to be blunt,
what's this all about?

Was the senator out last night?

No, no, we, we had
supper and he retired early.

Mary Ellen caprese was fatally injured

in a hit and run last night.

The senator's car

has been identified

as the vehicle involved.

Man: Then we need to contact

the body shop.

Jamie dropped it off yesterday

if I'm not mistaken.

Jamie: I did, the senator

told me to take it in

and have it tuned and repaired.

Do you have the paperwork?

I dropped it off after hours

and left the keys in, uh, the wheel well.

Do we know if the car is still there?

Matter of fact, got a call today

saying it would be ready around : .

Oh, good, want to get me an
address on that shop, uh, kid?

Well, then clearly there's
been some sort of mistake.

Uh, if you don't mind I
have a committee chairman

screaming at me about the
way I'll vote on a trade bill.

Thanks for your time, senator.

Cassy: Mr. Elwood, as the last one

to drive the car

can you account for your time?

I was with someone.

Can I get a name?

Sally robeson.

Oh... good lord, Jamie.

You're the source of the leak?

You told robeson?

Sir, if you're accusing me

I, I swear I, I never said anything.

She has, has pieced this
together out of nothing.

How dare you!

The only people who knew

exactly how I would vote
were you and Cameron

and I certainly don't think my
wife would have told anyone!

Orrin, please.

All dirty laundry needs to be washed out

but not in front of people.

Forgive me, officers.

Cameron, if you don't mind,
can you show them out?

No need, senator, no need.

Okay, where's my ten bucks?

What ten bucks?

Did you or did you not

hear the senator say "how dare you"?

No, he didn't say it to us.

It doesn't matter.

I just said he was going to say it.

Get out of here; That doesn't count.

And besides, if it did, then I win

because elwood said,
"are you accusing me?".

You know, you're twisting
this whole thing around.

I'm a winner. That's it.

Pay up.

No, not hardly.

Well, so what do you think?

I think we should go and
see what the car says.

Little early for that, isn't it?

Maybe I should go to a meeting.

Maybe you should say "thank you" to Jamie.

Jamie...

I said k*ll it.

k*ll it.

Yes. Thank you.

Yes, sir.

Please, uh, accept my apology

for flying off the handle.

I'm sure you were completely
above board with robeson.

I was, sir.

And, uh, thank you for
what you did last night.

Cameron, i...

Orrin, I can't think of but a handful

of us political wives

who expect fidelity from their husbands.

But I think running over hookers

is another thing.

It ought to stop.

I don't even remember.

Okay.

Let's do damage control on the leak.

Let's get your vote cast the right way.

And then we'll talk about

you checking into the Betty Ford center.

Okay, thank you.

So the mechanic confirms
that the car was scheduled

for maintenance.

What about you guys?

Lipschitz: This car was recently washed.

There's water pooled up under the hood.

The senator suggested the car
could have been taken by anyone.

Cassy, come on.

Who uses a car in a hit and run

washes it and returns it
to where they stole it from?

Whoever used it missed a spot.

I got some blood and tissue
right there, nice sample.

Let us know if it matches the victim's.

Will do.

Sally robeson, please.

Thank you.

Sally robeson?

I'm cassy St. John, palm beach P.D.

How are you?

I'm good. Do you got a second?

Yeah, I need a break anyway.

Come on, I'll show you
the breathtaking view

of our harbor.

If this is about the story of the senator

I have constitutional rights...

No... it's not.

Just answer the question:

Were you with him?

I was.

Till how late?

I don't know.

He got paged around : or : .

Who paged him?

The senator.

Is this about the caprese woman?

You tell me.

Mary Ellen caprese gets hit by a car

in the middle of the night

I would suspect pfeiffer.

Are you saying that he was one of her

regular customers?

Customers?

No, caprese was not a hooker.

She was a political groupie.

Rumor had it that she was going

a senator, a congressman

and someday, hopefully, a president.

And you have proof of this;

that pfeiffer was involved with caprese?

If I did, I would go public.

So the senator accused Jamie

of letting you know how
he was going to vote.

He did?

That's gratitude for you.

Meaning?

Meaning, for the number of times

that Jamie has hauled the senator's ashes

out of the fire

you'd think he'd trust him.

You'd think, wouldn't you?

How many times?

And he never got his license suspended?

Well, remind me to run for senator.

Yeah, thanks.

Morton got a positive match of the blood

from the car and the victim.

Um, senator's been arrested three times

for driving under the influence

and rumor has it

he was involved with caprese.

Can I see you in my office, cassy?

The commissioner wants me
to consider early retirement.

Did you tell him that you thought about it

and the answer's "no"?

It's my own fault.

Remember that fund raiser
a couple of weeks ago?

Well, the commissioner and I were talking

and I casually mentioned
that I was getting to the point

where I had to start thinking
about early retirement.

Well, unless I misunderstand the law

it's your choice, not his.

You know, cassy

I get the feeling that when
management asks you

to consider early retirement

it means that they've lost confidence

in your ability to do your job.

No. What I think it means
is they can save money.

When do you have to give him an answer by?

There's no timetable, per se

but I got to make my decision pretty quick.

Why don't you talk to frannie,
see what she has to say?

Okay.

Thanks.

Yeah.

All right. The senator.

Talk to me about him.

Um, okay.

Like I said, uh, three, three d.U.I.S

robeson's allegations that
he was involved with caprese.

Cassy, if the senator was blitzed

when he hit the woman

come on, there's no way he gets it together

that much to go and wash his car.

So you think that cockamamie story

about someone going to the repair shop

and using the car is righteous?

Yeah, well, robeson confirmed

that Jamie was with her.

Yeah, left her around : or :

after the senator paged him.

Where's your eyewitness account?

It's in my desk.

Here she is.

Cassandra St. John?

I am.

Edgar riceland, I'm with the I.R.S.

Hope you're here with
either good news or money!

I'm afraid neither.

I'm being audited?

This is rather serious, miss St. John.

It's a notification of a field audit.

The implication is willful
obscuration and alteration

of your tax returns for
the years in question.

Meaning?

We're investigating

a possible government defrauding by you.

We need to set some
time aside and go over this.

Now, we can either do
it here or at your home

whichever is more convenient.

Boy, this sucks.

Okay, when would you like to do this?

Take a look at what the charges are.

And when you're ready, we'll get together.

Have a nice day.

I can't wait.

You look worse than I do.

I'm getting audited.

Me.

I keep better records
than Kenneth starr does.

Don't sweat it.

It's probably a random audit.

Did you find the eyewitness report?

Yeah, here.

Yeah, this is what I remember.

The eyewitness said that
when he arrived on the scene

there was already somebody there.

Jamie elwood?

Let's go; You drive.

Hey.

This remind you of anything?

I'd say a piece of the clothing

Mary Ellen caprese was
wearing the night she d*ed.

Cassy: In about seven minutes

I think our coroner is going to confirm

that the blood on the
sponge belonged to caprese.

So... you still going to stick

with the story that somebody
heisted the senator's car

from the repair shop?

No.

So what did happen?

The senator paged me.

He was drunk.

Wanted me to pick him up at Mary Ellen's.

So I drove over to her apartment, parked.

I was walking toward the building

when I saw the senator hit her.

And you drove the senator home?

No, I put him in a cab

and I took his car to
my place and washed it.

So when did you get your car?

I tried, but when I got
back, it had been towed.

I figure you guys have it in impound.

Are you willing to testify

to seeing the senator driving the car?

I am.

Whoever it is, it's way
too late to be calling.

Hello.

Cassy?

Yeah, Harry.

Could you come right over?

Senator pfeiffer just committed su1c1de.

Yeah.

I'm at the pfeiffer residence.

Okay. Thanks.

I think.

Thanks.

Mrs. Pfeiffer came looking for him.

Did he take sleeping
pills on a regular basis?

He, uh, had insomnia
when he, when he didn't drink

so he took pills to help him.

Yeah, well, looks like he mixed himself

one final cocktail.

The governor sends her deepest condolences

asks that you call her when you can.

It just makes me so damn mad.

Why couldn't he just stop drinking?

You need anything else here from them?

No, it's pretty cut and dry.

I'm sorry for your loss, Mrs. Pfeiffer.

I am, too.

Man: May I see the canceled check

for the remainder payment
of your federally insured loan?

That was ten years ago.

I threw that away.

So you have no proof it was paid off.

I called my bank

and I asked them to check their microfiche

to see if there's a duplicate.

Until proof is rendered

the I.R.S. Will consider
the debt defaulted.

This clothing that you
deducted for work use

are they solely for that purpose?

Primarily, yes.

But you use them for other occasions?

Yeah, I guess.

On your return of

you stated that they were exclusively used

in the workplace.

What are you saying?

Technically, you have
defrauded the government.

That's impossible.

Is it?

Last year you purchased an automobile.

That was funded through profits
I'd made on the stock market.

However, the question remains

as to where you got the original
funds to purchase the stock.

Uh, my boss and I, we
shared a lottery ticket.

Unless you can show me

where it is reported as income

you have hidden revenue
from the federal government.

Are you saying that
I've defrauded the feds?

Rightfully, that would
be for a jury to decide

if you desire a trial.

I'm late.

If there are other discrepancies,

I'll contact you.

Otherwise, you will have days to respond

to the charges I will outline

in my report.

Have a nice day.

So, Cassandra, how's the audit going?

I tell you, every day is a
new adventure with them.

I stay up late getting ready

and the next day

the investigator asks me questions

that I'm not prepared for.

This is scaring me a little bit.

This guy riceland is making me out

to look like a thief.

Did you get in touch
with a good tax attorney?

I called a couple

but frankly I, I don't think I need one.

You know, I didn't do anything wrong.

You almost closed up
on the pfeiffer su1c1de?

I'm just waiting on Morton's report.

Here they are.

Sorry.

Pretty standard.

Mary Ellen caprese d*ed of massive trauma

due to the impact.

Pfeiffer's autopsy confirmed that he d*ed

of a mixture of, uh,
alcohol and barbiturates.

It says she was an organ donor.

Yeah, as indicated by her license.

And what's r.P.?

Retinitus pigmentosa.

It's the degeneration of rods and cones

in the retina.

Frankly, I never would have found it

except that most eye
banks will routinely reject

donors who suffer from night blindness.

Caprese had night blindness?

It was rather advanced, too.

What was she doing

in the park in the middle of the night?

Cassy: Now that I think

about it

the doorman at her apartment said

that she was always in
the company of someone.

He thought she was a hooker.

But really, she just could
have needed someone

to help her at night.

I got to get back.

Thanks.

She's in the park.

She wakes up and she wanders
into the middle of the street

in time to be hit by the senator?

And Jamie sees it.

There's a lot of serendipity there.

Way too much for me.

Woman: That should go

to the district

not Washington.

Moving day?

Sad day.

I think I've cried about a dozen times

trying to pack up orrin's things.

I bet, Mrs. Pfeiffer.

It's, um, senator pfeiffer now.

Were you aware that Mary Ellen caprese

suffered from night blindness?

Well, now that would imply

that I knew about my
husband's affair, wouldn't it?

Excuse me.

Well, that wasn't my intention.

Then what is your intention?

Mary Ellen, she had

a degenerative eye condition

which would have made it impossible

for her to go outside at night.

And yet, there she was

right in front of the senator's headlights.

If, um, she and the senator were drinking

who knows what she would have done.

Did I say anything about drinking?

The senator didn't like to drink alone.

Well, he did last night.

You know what, miss St. John

your tone is inciting,
and I won't tolerate it.

You know, senator

the package is just too neat.

And the bow's on too straight.

Now somebody is lying to me
here and I am going to find out who.

Sergeant, no one's lying to anyone.

Now, I know you've been
under a lot of stress lately, so...

Oh, and how would you know that?

Washington's a tightly knit town.

A friend of mine who
works for the I.R.S. Called

with his condolences.

And he told you I was
going through an audit?

In passing; He thought it was
more of an ironic coincidence

than anything else.

Uh-huh. You see, I don't
believe in coincidences.

I'm more of a "for every action
there's a reaction" type of gal.

And my reaction is

unless you have any further action here

you should leave my house right now.

Please.

Bye, bye.

Let's get packed up.

Right.

Yes, Mario permelia, please.

Uh-huh.

P-e-r-m-e.

He was registered there through Friday.

Yeah. Oh, he did?

When?

Did he leave forwarding numbers?

Thanks.

What do you say we renew the bond

between the government
and the fourth estate?

Is that all men ever think about?

I mean, whatever happened
to sharing and caring?

That's what I'm talking about.

I care to share something with you.

Jamie, do you feel bad
about orrin k*lling himself?

The senator was one of those fires

that was meant to burn
brightly, but not for very long.

Well, now that Cameron has hired you

as her chief of staff

am I a bright but short memory?

Well, uh, you know, we'll
have to see less of each other.

And I'll have to be way more discreet.

But, no, I want this to last

as long as it's supposed to last.

So long as...

So long as what?

We share more than
just our bodies and souls?

What haven't I told you?

Oh, there's always something.

Well, let's see.

I told you about the senator's vote.

Uh, you knew about
Monica before anybody else.

Oh, I'm sure I mentioned

one of the local cops defrauding the I.R.S.

Oh, you naughty, naughty boy.

Well, details.

I need details.

I always pay attention to the details.

Apparently the same can't be said

for one of palm beach's finest.

Cheating her fellow taxpayers.

What does that say about public servants?

Well, they can't all be
as upstanding as you.

Really?

'Cause I've always wanted to be accused

of lying down on the job.

Cassy: How did Mary Ellen get here,

well, she was drunk, doped up on Xanax.

Okay, so the, the guy
at her apartment building

he didn't see her leave

so she would have had to have gone out

through the garage.

Why?

Why?

She was disoriented.

She goes to the elevator.

She pushes the wrong button.

Or somebody takes her outside.

Who? There were just
the two of them inside.

As far as we know.

Who else could it be?

You got an eyewitness, cassy.

Yeah, who's no longer in town.

Look, you heard elwood's confession.

He clearly states that he
saw pfeiffer hit the woman.

Think about it.

That's all we have.

And what if he was driving the car?

Two, two colas.

No, no, no, timetable doesn't fit.

You see, city impound does have the car.

And there would have been no way

according to what robeson said

was the time he left her

for him to have parked his car

gotten into the senator's
car, and committed the crime.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Okay, so we're back to believing

that the commissioner

who by his own confession um, was so soused

he can't even remember
driving the car, did it.

Unless he never paged elwood.

Hmm.

Huh?

Yeah, but we know he did

because robeson confirmed it.

No, no, no.

Robeson was told by elwood
that the senator paged him.

Cassy.

Hmm?

How many numbers

does your pager hold before it erases them?

About a hundred.

You think elwood's received
since the m*rder?

Harry, you're a gonzer.

A g... I think you probably mean genius.

According to the I.R.S.,
you are the gonzer.

I will call judge McCall

see if I can get you that warrant.

Okay.

Cheers.

Oh. Come in.

You know, your appearances here,

miss St. John

are becoming rather frequent.

Verging on meddlesome.

I have a court order demanding
that your legislative assistant

surrender his pager to me.

What do you want it for?

I personally hate the things.

They allow anyone to get
a hold of you at any time.

Well, for those of us

in government service

it's on the required equipment list.

Thank you.

How many messages does yours store?

You think it still has the
one from the senator on it?

The senator never called Jamie.

I did.

I woke up about :

and I saw that he wasn't here.

And I called Jamie for help.

I thought you said you
didn't know about caprese.

I was suspicious that
he was messing around.

But with whom, I never knew.

When the senator began

to, uh, lose a handle on his drinking

I took it upon myself to be
his watchdog and guardian.

And then you drove straight
to caprese's apartment?

It was the first place I was going to look.

After that, there were some
bars he was known to frequent.

Why did you tell Sally robeson

it was the senator who paged you?

I don't remember telling Sally that.

Ah, there you have it.

An answer for everything.

Hmm.

Oh, by the way

who do I have to thank

for the front page coverage about my taxes?

Probably yourself.

Ah.

So...

Hi.

Still with the audit, huh?

No.

I'm surfing the web, looking for p*rn.

That's funny.

I thought exercise was your hobby.

If Mary Ellen was targeting politicians

then there's got to be
something on the web.

Okay. Keep looking.

Where are you going?

Commissioner.

He, uh, wants my answer.

What is it?

I don't know.

I haven't decided.

Will you call me when you do?

Yeah.

Well, hello, hello.

Cassy: Jamie elwood has used you

and it's possible that he's
made you an accessory to

m*rder.

That's bull.

Is it?

See, it's been bothering me

why the senator got
involved with Mary Ellen

given that everyone knew

that she was sleeping
with the powers that be.

I found these on the web.

You and Mary Ellen look pretty chummy.

Is there a reason why you didn't tell me

that you knew Mary Ellen caprese?

So I knew caprese, big deal.

Oh, it is a big deal.

I didn't introduce them.

No, but you introduced her to Jamie

knowing that he would
set her up with the senator.

Yes.

Why? Wasn't Jamie giving
you all the inside information

that you needed?

Not like the things
that Mary Ellen told me.

Being a good reporter

you can't run a story
without proof, can you?

No.

And what was your confirmation
as to what Mary Ellen said?

She taped everything.

Audio?

Video.

Did Jamie know about this?

No, I never told him.

Okay, where would a videotape be planted?

Okay, Harry.

I hope you consider
this a legitimate expense.

Remember me?

Destroy this.

Got to hand it to you.

I didn't see Mario in the big picture.

Well, had you looked at
the tape, you would have.

So what is he, your administrative thug?

When you've been in Washington

as long as my husband had

you meet a variety of interesting people.

Who drove the senator's car?

You or Mario?

I did.

Rather smartly

I might add.

How should we get rid of her?

So many people

are getting hit by cars these days.

Don't you think my captain's
going to figure this out?

Your captain just accepted

early retirement.

Right now he's at home, taking a hot bath

thinking about bone fishing.

I think you better back off there, sister.

You know what I'm thinking?

I'm thinking you're not wearing a cup.

Cassy: Let's go.

I thought you retired.

Don't believe everything you hear.

Well, here, cuff him.

Wait a minute, i...

Come on, you mamzer, move it, move it.

Hello.

Hey, you're back from Boston.

Did you do something to your eyebrows?

What do you mean?

It looks like you singed them.

Oh... oh, no.

I got a little close to a candle

on one of the dinner tables.

And you burnt both of them?

It was a, actually, a
mishap in the kitchen.

Just a small incident.

How small?

The, the fireman said
that he'd seen a lot worse.

I mean, I didn't know
grease went up like that.

It's flammable.

Tom, welcome back.

Hello, Mr. Lipschitz.

Mr. Lipschitz?

Well, I just don't feel it's appropriate

to call you captain anymore.

And why?

With you retiring and all.

I'm not retiring.

My dad had the same
problem adjusting, Harry.

Give it a time; You'll get used to it.

Ryan...

Hey, when cassy told me

I got the news on the
phone and I sat there, i'm...

Well, I was devastated.

I was devastated.

No!

Harry, I pulled myself together.

I mean, it's upsetting.

But I went out and I got you a gift.

That's north church.

One if by land, two if by sea.

Hmm, thanks.

Uh, Ryan, two things.

Number one, the north
church thing, it's only a legend.

Two... and I want you to
pay very close attention to this

so watch my lips:

I did not retire.

You're serious.

I am.

You're going to have to wait

to get this gift until you actually do.

Keys.

Well, it's great to have you back.

Yeah, it's not necessary.

Never a kiss.

Never with a captain.

Never.

Yeah, I'm thinking

that there's some residual damage

from that g*nsh*t wound
he took to the head.

Well, it would explain things.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, did you really
take that retirement thing

into serious consideration?

A little, not a lot.

But I'll tell you something.

If I did decide to call it quits

like Dorothy told the scarecrow

in the wizard of oz...

I think I would have missed you the most.