02x13 - Episode 13

[bunniefuu]

[ Siren wails ]

[ Siren wails ]
[ brakes squeal ]

[ Brakes squeal ]

[ Brakes squeal ]

Good work.

Good work.
Looks like you're finally

Good work.
Looks like you're finally
getting the hang of this

Looks like you're finally
getting the hang of this
"good cop/bad cop" thing.

Getting the hang of this
"good cop/bad cop" thing.
You think so?

"Good cop/bad cop" thing.
You think so?
Yep.

You think so?
Yep.
[ Brakes squeal ]

Okay.

Okay.
Oh!

Yeah!

Yeah!
Party!

Yeah!
Party!
Party!

Party!
Party!
Whoo!

Party!
Whoo!
Oh, all right!

Whoo!
Oh, all right!
Hello, there.

Oh, all right!
Hello, there.
Okay.

Hello, there.
Okay.
Okay.

Okay.
Okay.
- .

Okay.
- .
[ Ringing ]

- .
[ Ringing ]
hello and welcome to the

[ Ringing ]
hello and welcome to the
night companion.

Hello and welcome to the
night companion.
If you are looking for female

Night companion.
If you are looking for female
callers, press .

If you are looking for female
callers, press .
If you are looking for --

Callers, press .
If you are looking for --
all right.

If you are looking for --
all right.
If you are looking for

All right.
If you are looking for
long-term companions, press .

If you are looking for
long-term companions, press .
For casual times, press .

Long-term companions, press .
For casual times, press .
Okay.

For casual times, press .
Okay.
Welcome to the casual

Okay.
Welcome to the casual
directory list.

Welcome to the casual
directory list.
For phone sex, press .

Directory list.
For phone sex, press .
Okay.

For phone sex, press .
Okay.
Welcome to the phone-sex

Okay.
Welcome to the phone-sex
directory.

Welcome to the phone-sex
directory.
For blondes, press .

Directory.
For blondes, press .
For brunettes, press .

For blondes, press .
For brunettes, press .
For other hair colors, press .

For brunettes, press .
For other hair colors, press .
And for the extra-special

For other hair colors, press .
And for the extra-special
companions, press .

And for the extra-special
companions, press .
Okay.

Companions, press .
Okay.
Welcome to the extra-special

Okay.
Welcome to the extra-special
directory list.

Welcome to the extra-special
directory list.
For leather, press .

Directory list.
For leather, press .
For bondage and discipline,

For leather, press .
For bondage and discipline,
press .

For bondage and discipline,
press .
And for chicken ladies, press .

Press .
And for chicken ladies, press .
Okay.

And for chicken ladies, press .
Okay.
[ Ringing ]

Okay.
[ Ringing ]
aah!

[ Ringing ]
aah!
Oh, god.

Aah!
Oh, god.
Hello?

Oh, god.
Hello?
Hello?

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

Hello?
Hello?
Hello?

Hello?
Hello?
Hey, how you doing tonight?

Hello?
Hey, how you doing tonight?
I damn near died of boredom.

Hey, how you doing tonight?
I damn near died of boredom.
Been waiting a while.

I damn near died of boredom.
Been waiting a while.
All right.

Been waiting a while.
All right.
So, uh, you into phone sex?

All right.
So, uh, you into phone sex?
Oh, yeah.

So, uh, you into phone sex?
Oh, yeah.
All right!

Oh, yeah.
All right!
So, uh, what do you look

All right!
So, uh, what do you look
like?

So, uh, what do you look
like?
Well, I'm ' tall with lots

Like?
Well, I'm ' tall with lots
of charm and a charm bracelet

Well, I'm ' tall with lots
of charm and a charm bracelet
and a beak and chicken's feet

Of charm and a charm bracelet
and a beak and chicken's feet
and big, brown eyes.

And a beak and chicken's feet
and big, brown eyes.
And I'm wearing a housedress

And big, brown eyes.
And I'm wearing a housedress
with nothing on underneath

And I'm wearing a housedress
with nothing on underneath
'cause I'm hot...hot for you!

With nothing on underneath
'cause I'm hot...hot for you!
[ Laughs ]

'Cause I'm hot...hot for you!
[ Laughs ]
so what do you look like?

[ Laughs ]
so what do you look like?
What, me?

So what do you look like?
What, me?
Well, I'm a big guy with brown

What, me?
Well, I'm a big guy with brown
hair, green eyes, and I got big

Well, I'm a big guy with brown
hair, green eyes, and I got big
arms 'cause I drum, right?

Hair, green eyes, and I got big
arms 'cause I drum, right?
Oh, yeah.

Arms 'cause I drum, right?
Oh, yeah.
And what do you look like?

Oh, yeah.
And what do you look like?
Well, I'm a big guy with

And what do you look like?
Well, I'm a big guy with
brown hair, green eyes, and I

Well, I'm a big guy with
brown hair, green eyes, and I
got big arms 'cause I drum,

Brown hair, green eyes, and I
got big arms 'cause I drum,
right?

Got big arms 'cause I drum,
right?
Oh, yeah.

Right?
Oh, yeah.
What do you look like?

Oh, yeah.
What do you look like?
I just told you.

What do you look like?
I just told you.
Oh, yeah.

I just told you.
Oh, yeah.
Right.

Oh, yeah.
Right.
So what do you want to talk

Right.
So what do you want to talk
about?

So what do you want to talk
about?
Uh...well --

About?
Uh...well --
well, how about this?

Uh...well --
well, how about this?
Pretend I'm in a field, and

Well, how about this?
Pretend I'm in a field, and
you're working on a tractor.

Pretend I'm in a field, and
you're working on a tractor.
And I'm bringing you milk and

You're working on a tractor.
And I'm bringing you milk and
eggs 'cause you're tired.

And I'm bringing you milk and
eggs 'cause you're tired.
Only you're not tired.

Eggs 'cause you're tired.
Only you're not tired.
You're aroused, eh?

Only you're not tired.
You're aroused, eh?
And you ask me to get under the

You're aroused, eh?
And you ask me to get under the
tractor.

And you ask me to get under the
tractor.
So you get under the tractor,

Tractor.
So you get under the tractor,
and we're hiding.

So you get under the tractor,
and we're hiding.
What do you think of that?

And we're hiding.
What do you think of that?
I got -- I got something

What do you think of that?
I got -- I got something
else.

I got -- I got something
else.
How about, right, I don't got no

Else.
How about, right, I don't got no
shirt on, 'cause it's hot,

How about, right, I don't got no
shirt on, 'cause it's hot,
right?

Shirt on, 'cause it's hot,
right?
So you're bare chested.

Right?
So you're bare chested.
Oh, that sounds good.

So you're bare chested.
Oh, that sounds good.
Ohhh!

Oh, that sounds good.
Ohhh!
You all right?

Ohhh!
You all right?
Should I call ?

You all right?
Should I call ?
Hello?

Should I call ?
Hello?
Hello?

Hello?
Hello?
What?

Hello?
What?
Thanks.

What?
Thanks.
That was really great.

Thanks.
That was really great.
What?

That was really great.
What?
Yeah, you're really sweet.

What?
Yeah, you're really sweet.
Goodbye.

Yeah, you're really sweet.
Goodbye.
Well, what about me?

Goodbye.
Well, what about me?
You have used up three

Well, what about me?
You have used up three
minutes on the night companion

You have used up three
minutes on the night companion
line.

Minutes on the night companion
line.
Please indicate how you wish to

Line.
Please indicate how you wish to
pay.

Please indicate how you wish to
pay.
Pay?

Pay.
Pay?
If you wish to pay with visa,

Pay?
If you wish to pay with visa,
press .

If you wish to pay with visa,
press .
Mastercard, press .

Press .
Mastercard, press .
If you're paying with returnable

Mastercard, press .
If you're paying with returnable
beer bottles, press .

If you're paying with returnable
beer bottles, press .
Okay.

Beer bottles, press .
Okay.
Thank you.

Okay.
Thank you.
Please hold while we calculate

Thank you.
Please hold while we calculate
your payment in beer bottles.

Please hold while we calculate
your payment in beer bottles.
Okay.

Your payment in beer bottles.
Okay.
... ...

Want to hear something?

Want to hear something?
It's a fact.

Want to hear something?
It's a fact.
My uncle tony can spit real far.

It's a fact.
My uncle tony can spit real far.
Okay, go!

Whoo!

Whoo!
Ew, gross.

Whoo!
Ew, gross.
He's a very lonely man.

Ew, gross.
He's a very lonely man.
It's a fact!

[ Moody jazz plays ]

I got to get out of here.

I got to get out of here.
Got to clear my head.

Give me a whiskey sour, sam.

Give me a whiskey sour, sam.
Coming up.

Give me a whiskey sour, sam.
Coming up.
Trouble with the book, nick?

Coming up.
Trouble with the book, nick?
Yeah, I guess you could say

Trouble with the book, nick?
Yeah, I guess you could say
I'm having trouble, sam.

Yeah, I guess you could say
I'm having trouble, sam.
Tell me.

I'm having trouble, sam.
Tell me.
If you were a / ' teddy bear

Tell me.
If you were a / ' teddy bear
named fuzzy, and you had to find

If you were a / ' teddy bear
named fuzzy, and you had to find
the magic honey tree in order to

Named fuzzy, and you had to find
the magic honey tree in order to
save your village, who would you

The magic honey tree in order to
save your village, who would you
go to for advice?

Save your village, who would you
go to for advice?
The wise, old owl, the gentle

Go to for advice?
The wise, old owl, the gentle
giraffe, or kitty, the

The wise, old owl, the gentle
giraffe, or kitty, the
world-weary whore...

Giraffe, or kitty, the
world-weary whore...
Who's as smart as she is tough,

World-weary whore...
Who's as smart as she is tough,
and she is plenty tough, mister.

Who's as smart as she is tough,
and she is plenty tough, mister.
Well, I guess if I was a

And she is plenty tough, mister.
Well, I guess if I was a
teddy bear, I'd have to go to

Well, I guess if I was a
teddy bear, I'd have to go to
the wise, old owl, nick.

Teddy bear, I'd have to go to
the wise, old owl, nick.
Yeah, I guess you're right.

The wise, old owl, nick.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Just once I'd like it to be the

Yeah, I guess you're right.
Just once I'd like it to be the
whore, though.

Just once I'd like it to be the
whore, though.
Or the savvy newspaper boy.

Whore, though.
Or the savvy newspaper boy.
Just once I'd like the villain

Or the savvy newspaper boy.
Just once I'd like the villain
to be the corrupt politician

Just once I'd like the villain
to be the corrupt politician
instead of meredith, queen of

To be the corrupt politician
instead of meredith, queen of
the goats.

Instead of meredith, queen of
the goats.
Damn it, why am I so good at

The goats.
Damn it, why am I so good at
writing children's novels?

Damn it, why am I so good at
writing children's novels?
I guess life is just a roll

Writing children's novels?
I guess life is just a roll
of the dice, huh, nick?

I guess life is just a roll
of the dice, huh, nick?
Sure as hell is, sam.

Of the dice, huh, nick?
Sure as hell is, sam.
Think I'll set my next book in

Sure as hell is, sam.
Think I'll set my next book in
vegas.

Think I'll set my next book in
vegas.
Nick!

Vegas.
Nick!
All right, I'll set another

Nick!
All right, I'll set another
book in twitchy hollow!

All right, I'll set another
book in twitchy hollow!
You happy, sam?

Book in twitchy hollow!
You happy, sam?
Yeah, I'm happy, nick.

You happy, sam?
Yeah, I'm happy, nick.
How about you?

Yeah, I'm happy, nick.
How about you?
I'm happy, sam.

How about you?
I'm happy, sam.
Shut up, sam!

I'm happy, sam.
Shut up, sam!
Hello, nick.

Shut up, sam!
Hello, nick.
[ Moody jazz resumes ]

Well...if it isn't

Well...if it isn't
sally kessowin.

Well...if it isn't
sally kessowin.
What's up, sally?

Sally kessowin.
What's up, sally?
Come to see how a real

What's up, sally?
Come to see how a real
children's writer works?

Come to see how a real
children's writer works?
[ Laughs ]

Children's writer works?
[ Laughs ]
no, nick.

[ Laughs ]
no, nick.
Actually, by an unfortunate

No, nick.
Actually, by an unfortunate
accident, I happened to read a

Actually, by an unfortunate
accident, I happened to read a
copy of your latest book,

Accident, I happened to read a
copy of your latest book,
"bouncing bing and his fox named

Copy of your latest book,
"bouncing bing and his fox named
sting"?

"Bouncing bing and his fox named
sting"?
And I couldn't help but notice

Sting"?
And I couldn't help but notice
the resemblance to my own

And I couldn't help but notice
the resemblance to my own
unpublished manuscript, "jumping

The resemblance to my own
unpublished manuscript, "jumping
steve and his cat named neve."

Unpublished manuscript, "jumping
steve and his cat named neve."
Just what are you getting at,

Steve and his cat named neve."
Just what are you getting at,
sally?

Just what are you getting at,
sally?
Just that it's time that you

Sally?
Just that it's time that you
were edited...permanently.

Just that it's time that you
were edited...permanently.
And I have just the eraser with

Were edited...permanently.
And I have just the eraser with
which to do it.

And I have just the eraser with
which to do it.
[ Suspenseful music plays ]

Which to do it.
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
but, sal, can't we talk this

[ Suspenseful music plays ]
but, sal, can't we talk this
out?

But, sal, can't we talk this
out?
Prepare to be expurgated.

Oh!

Oh!
I've been shot.

Oh!
I've been shot.
Thanks, sam.

I've been shot.
Thanks, sam.
No problem, nick.

Thanks, sam.
No problem, nick.
I did it for the kids.

No problem, nick.
I did it for the kids.
You want I should clean that

I did it for the kids.
You want I should clean that
mess up for you?

You want I should clean that
mess up for you?
Yeah, sam, I better get back

Mess up for you?
Yeah, sam, I better get back
to tickety-tick the typewriter.

Yeah, sam, I better get back
to tickety-tick the typewriter.
She don't like to be kept

To tickety-tick the typewriter.
She don't like to be kept
waiting.

She don't like to be kept
waiting.
No, I guess she don't, nick.

Waiting.
No, I guess she don't, nick.
Guess she don't, sam.

No, I guess she don't, nick.
Guess she don't, sam.
I guess she don't.

Guess she don't, sam.
I guess she don't.
I guess she don't, sam.

I guess she don't.
I guess she don't, sam.
I guess she don't, nick.

I guess she don't, sam.
I guess she don't, nick.
I guess she don't, sam.

I guess she don't, nick.
I guess she don't, sam.
I guess she don't, nick.

I guess she don't, sam.
I guess she don't, nick.
Shut up, sam!

I guess she don't, nick.
Shut up, sam!
When fuzzy caught up with

Shut up, sam!
When fuzzy caught up with
froggy, he was near death in an

When fuzzy caught up with
froggy, he was near death in an
opium den.

Froggy, he was near death in an
opium den.
No, who am I kidding?

Opium den.
No, who am I kidding?
He was eating mud pies with

No, who am I kidding?
He was eating mud pies with
harold hedgehog.

[ Siren wails ]

Hey...what do you like best

Hey...what do you like best
about being a cop?

Hey...what do you like best
about being a cop?
Aah!

About being a cop?
Aah!
The money.

Aah!
The money.
Me too.

The money.
Me too.
Yeah.

Oh, and serving people.

Excuse me.

Excuse me.
Do you work here?

Excuse me.
Do you work here?
My answer to you is yes.

Do you work here?
My answer to you is yes.
I doubt I'd be fixing this

My answer to you is yes.
I doubt I'd be fixing this
display in my spare time.

I doubt I'd be fixing this
display in my spare time.
Ha ha ha!

Display in my spare time.
Ha ha ha!
Yeah.

Ha ha ha!
Yeah.
I see you've noticed my name

Yeah.
I see you've noticed my name
tag.

I see you've noticed my name
tag.
I guess I'm evan to you now.

Tag.
I guess I'm evan to you now.
Okay.

I guess I'm evan to you now.
Okay.
And if you had a name tag it

Okay.
And if you had a name tag it
would read?

And if you had a name tag it
would read?
Paul.

Would read?
Paul.
So, paul, why have the gods

Paul.
So, paul, why have the gods
brought us together?

So, paul, why have the gods
brought us together?
Well, evan, I'm looking for a

Brought us together?
Well, evan, I'm looking for a
pair of shoes.

Well, evan, I'm looking for a
pair of shoes.
I see.

Pair of shoes.
I see.
And how fast are you thinking

I see.
And how fast are you thinking
of going in these shoes?

And how fast are you thinking
of going in these shoes?
Walking speed, I suppose.

Of going in these shoes?
Walking speed, I suppose.
Yet be able to run, in the

Walking speed, I suppose.
Yet be able to run, in the
case of an emergency?

Yet be able to run, in the
case of an emergency?
Sure.

Case of an emergency?
Sure.
I understand.

Sure.
I understand.
Right this way.

I understand.
Right this way.
This might be the shoe you have

Right this way.
This might be the shoe you have
just described!

This might be the shoe you have
just described!
Oh.

Just described!
Oh.
Uh, do you have it in a ?

Oh.
Uh, do you have it in a ?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Uh, do you have it in a ?
Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Your curiosity pleases me.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Your curiosity pleases me.
The fates are our friends this

Your curiosity pleases me.
The fates are our friends this
day.

The fates are our friends this
day.
This happens to be a .

Day.
This happens to be a .
Great.

This happens to be a .
Great.
Try it on!

Great.
Try it on!
Okay.

Try it on!
Okay.
It's at this point that your

Okay.
It's at this point that your
old shoes might rather seem

It's at this point that your
old shoes might rather seem
pathetic.

Old shoes might rather seem
pathetic.
Okay.

Pathetic.
Okay.
So, how's the shoe?

Okay.
So, how's the shoe?
Well, it seems okay.

So, how's the shoe?
Well, it seems okay.
Seems, paul?

Well, it seems okay.
Seems, paul?
I have been faithful to the

Seems, paul?
I have been faithful to the
things that seem to send my soul

I have been faithful to the
things that seem to send my soul
soaring in the past -- the

Things that seem to send my soul
soaring in the past -- the
music, the music that people

Soaring in the past -- the
music, the music that people
made, the cultures that made

Music, the music that people
made, the cultures that made
mine seem beige in comparison,

Made, the cultures that made
mine seem beige in comparison,
the laughter, the sea, always

Mine seem beige in comparison,
the laughter, the sea, always
the sea that left me here

The laughter, the sea, always
the sea that left me here
seemingly to sell my shoes.

The sea that left me here
seemingly to sell my shoes.
How is the fit, paul?

Seemingly to sell my shoes.
How is the fit, paul?
Well, it's a little big.

How is the fit, paul?
Well, it's a little big.
Do you have it in a... / ?

Well, it's a little big.
Do you have it in a... / ?
No.

Do you have it in a... / ?
No.
Could you check?

No.
Could you check?
No.

Could you check?
No.
I see my answer displeases

No.
I see my answer displeases
you.

I see my answer displeases
you.
Yeah.

You.
Yeah.
See, as you are to your body,

Yeah.
See, as you are to your body,
so am I to my stock.

See, as you are to your body,
so am I to my stock.
You have no tail?

So am I to my stock.
You have no tail?
No.

You have no tail?
No.
I have no / s.

No.
I have no / s.
Ah, do you, do you have it

I have no / s.
Ah, do you, do you have it
in brown?

Ah, do you, do you have it
in brown?
Brown?

In brown?
Brown?
Uh-huh.

Brown?
Uh-huh.
I am quite well-stocked in

Uh-huh.
I am quite well-stocked in
the color of cowards.

I am quite well-stocked in
the color of cowards.
Then brown it shall be?

The color of cowards.
Then brown it shall be?
Yes.

Then brown it shall be?
Yes.
Then I have made a sale?

Yes.
Then I have made a sale?
It would appear so, evan.

Then I have made a sale?
It would appear so, evan.
I sell shoes!

It would appear so, evan.
I sell shoes!
[ Laughs maniacally ]

I sell shoes!
[ Laughs maniacally ]
and so you always shall!

[ Laughs maniacally ]
and so you always shall!
Thank you, satan!

And so you always shall!
Thank you, satan!
[ Thunder rumbles ]

[ Drumroll ]

What is it about the word

What is it about the word
"f*gg*t" that makes people so

What is it about the word
"f*gg*t" that makes people so
frightened?

"f*gg*t" that makes people so
frightened?
Do you think it's the actual

Frightened?
Do you think it's the actual
letters themselves?

Do you think it's the actual
letters themselves?
Well, let's take a look at that.

Letters themselves?
Well, let's take a look at that.
Do you think maybe it's the

Well, let's take a look at that.
Do you think maybe it's the
letter "f"?

Do you think maybe it's the
letter "f"?
I don't think so, because "f"

Letter "f"?
I don't think so, because "f"
stands for fun.

I don't think so, because "f"
stands for fun.
And we all love to have fun,

Stands for fun.
And we all love to have fun,
don't we?

And we all love to have fun,
don't we?
Maybe it's that naughty "a."

Don't we?
Maybe it's that naughty "a."
Now, I can't believe that for

Maybe it's that naughty "a."
Now, I can't believe that for
one second, because "a" is what

Now, I can't believe that for
one second, because "a" is what
we all want to bring home from

One second, because "a" is what
we all want to bring home from
school.

We all want to bring home from
school.
Well, then, maybe it's those

School.
Well, then, maybe it's those
double "g's."

Well, then, maybe it's those
double "g's."
How could that be?

Double "g's."
How could that be?
We all love twins.

How could that be?
We all love twins.
I love that doublemint ad.

We all love twins.
I love that doublemint ad.
Maybe it's the "o."

I love that doublemint ad.
Maybe it's the "o."
Well, you might as well get mad

Maybe it's the "o."
Well, you might as well get mad
at a doughnut.

Well, you might as well get mad
at a doughnut.
You know what?

At a doughnut.
You know what?
I bet -- I bet it's that evil

You know what?
I bet -- I bet it's that evil
"t," because it reminds people

I bet -- I bet it's that evil
"t," because it reminds people
of christ's agony on the cross.

"T," because it reminds people
of christ's agony on the cross.
Well, I've got the perfect

Of christ's agony on the cross.
Well, I've got the perfect
solution.

Well, I've got the perfect
solution.
Let's get rid of the "t" and all

Solution.
Let's get rid of the "t" and all
the hate that goes with it.

Let's get rid of the "t" and all
the hate that goes with it.
So, come on, faggos, let's sing!

The hate that goes with it.
So, come on, faggos, let's sing!
Everybody!

So, come on, faggos, let's sing!
Everybody!
Come on, all you faggos!

Want to hear something else?

Want to hear something else?
It's a fact.

Want to hear something else?
It's a fact.
The bigfoot has a beautiful

It's a fact.
The bigfoot has a beautiful
singing voice.

The bigfoot has a beautiful
singing voice.
[ Singing italian opera ]

Singing voice.
[ Singing italian opera ]
wasn't that beautiful?

[ Singing italian opera ]
wasn't that beautiful?
It's true.

Wasn't that beautiful?
It's true.
It's a fact.

♪ And she wrapped me up

♪ And she wrapped me up
inside myself ♪

♪ And she wrapped me up
inside myself ♪
♪ yes, she did now ♪

Inside myself ♪
♪ yes, she did now ♪
♪ she gave me the knotted-up

♪ Yes, she did now ♪
♪ she gave me the knotted-up
lovin' blues ♪

Yeah!

Yeah!
We got that one down!

Yeah!
We got that one down!
We got that one down!

We got that one down!
We got that one down!
Yes, sir!

We got that one down!
Yes, sir!
We got that one down!

Yes, sir!
We got that one down!
You be playing out the back door

We got that one down!
You be playing out the back door
that time, huh, friend?

You be playing out the back door
that time, huh, friend?
Hey!

That time, huh, friend?
Hey!
Wait a minute!

Hey!
Wait a minute!
You don't have the blues!

Wait a minute!
You don't have the blues!
Look at you, laughing and having

You don't have the blues!
Look at you, laughing and having
fun!

Look at you, laughing and having
fun!
Well, look, my friend, we

Fun!
Well, look, my friend, we
just laughing 'cause we be

Well, look, my friend, we
just laughing 'cause we be
playing the blues.

Just laughing 'cause we be
playing the blues.
That's why you play the blues,

Playing the blues.
That's why you play the blues,
you know, to chase 'em away.

That's why you play the blues,
you know, to chase 'em away.
I feel blue again now, so I'm

You know, to chase 'em away.
I feel blue again now, so I'm
gonna play a song for you, which

I feel blue again now, so I'm
gonna play a song for you, which
is --

Gonna play a song for you, which
is --
so what?

Is --
so what?
You can just turn the blues on

So what?
You can just turn the blues on
and off like a tap?

You can just turn the blues on
and off like a tap?
No, my friend, the blues is

And off like a tap?
No, my friend, the blues is
very profound.

No, my friend, the blues is
very profound.
The blues, they comes and take

Very profound.
The blues, they comes and take
you --

The blues, they comes and take
you --
yeah, whenever it's

You --
yeah, whenever it's
convenient.

Yeah, whenever it's
convenient.
He's a smart boy!

Convenient.
He's a smart boy!
You just go and finish that

He's a smart boy!
You just go and finish that
drink.

You just go and finish that
drink.
I'm gonna play another song for

Drink.
I'm gonna play another song for
these people.

I'm gonna play another song for
these people.
Here's a song about a woman who

These people.
Here's a song about a woman who
loved me up a couple weeks ago,

Here's a song about a woman who
loved me up a couple weeks ago,
but then she slapped my heart

Loved me up a couple weeks ago,
but then she slapped my heart
around like a piece of

But then she slapped my heart
around like a piece of
meat.

Around like a piece of
meat.
It's called the

Meat.
It's called the
"heart-slappin' woman" blues.

It's called the
"heart-slappin' woman" blues.
So we're gonna do this one time

"Heart-slappin' woman" blues.
So we're gonna do this one time
for you.

So we're gonna do this one time
for you.
, --

For you.
, --
Wait a minute!

, --
Wait a minute!
You mean to tell me that you

Wait a minute!
You mean to tell me that you
slept with a woman, and now

You mean to tell me that you
slept with a woman, and now
you're whining about it?

Slept with a woman, and now
you're whining about it?
You're not a bluesman.

You're whining about it?
You're not a bluesman.
You're an idiot!

You're not a bluesman.
You're an idiot!
Excuse me, I am a bluesman.

You're an idiot!
Excuse me, I am a bluesman.
I'm an authentic bluesman.

Excuse me, I am a bluesman.
I'm an authentic bluesman.
Yes, sir, I got the louisiana

I'm an authentic bluesman.
Yes, sir, I got the louisiana
blues, I had the traveling

Yes, sir, I got the louisiana
blues, I had the traveling
blues.

Blues, I had the traveling
blues.
I had that two time.

Blues.
I had that two time.
I got the blues from my head

I had that two time.
I got the blues from my head
down to my shoes.

I got the blues from my head
down to my shoes.
I do.

Down to my shoes.
I do.
Hey, aren't those $ shoes?

I do.
Hey, aren't those $ shoes?
They was a gift.

Hey, aren't those $ shoes?
They was a gift.
A gift?

They was a gift.
A gift?
They were a gift!

A gift?
They were a gift!
Boy, that must have been pretty

They were a gift!
Boy, that must have been pretty
depressing getting those, huh?

Boy, that must have been pretty
depressing getting those, huh?
I mean, gee, what do you need

Depressing getting those, huh?
I mean, gee, what do you need
gifts for anyway?

I mean, gee, what do you need
gifts for anyway?
I paid bucks to get in here,

Gifts for anyway?
I paid bucks to get in here,
and I figure so did everyone

I paid bucks to get in here,
and I figure so did everyone
else.

And I figure so did everyone
else.
So times has got to be,

Else.
So times has got to be,
uh...

So times has got to be,
uh...
$ , , Man.

Uh...
$ , , Man.
And you're good at math!

$ , , Man.
And you're good at math!
I'm terrible at math!

And you're good at math!
I'm terrible at math!
I mean, maybe if I was good at

I'm terrible at math!
I mean, maybe if I was good at
math, I could -- I could get a

I mean, maybe if I was good at
math, I could -- I could get a
better job.

Math, I could -- I could get a
better job.
[ Plays riff ]

Better job.
[ Plays riff ]
move out of my basement

[ Plays riff ]
move out of my basement
apartment.

Move out of my basement
apartment.
[ Plays riff ]

Apartment.
[ Plays riff ]
maybe meet a woman.

[ Plays riff ]
maybe meet a woman.
I mean --

Maybe meet a woman.
I mean --
[ plays riff ]

I mean --
[ plays riff ]
excuse me.

[ Plays riff ]
excuse me.
I do sign the checks.

Excuse me.
I do sign the checks.
Sorry, gary!

I do sign the checks.
Sorry, gary!
Yeah, you're right.

Sorry, gary!
Yeah, you're right.
No one came here to listen to me

Yeah, you're right.
No one came here to listen to me
whine, did they?

No one came here to listen to me
whine, did they?
No, everyone came here to listen

Whine, did they?
No, everyone came here to listen
to you play the blues.

No, everyone came here to listen
to you play the blues.
I mean, everyone here loves you,

To you play the blues.
I mean, everyone here loves you,
not me, isn't that right?

I mean, everyone here loves you,
not me, isn't that right?
Everyone loves gary?

Not me, isn't that right?
Everyone loves gary?
We all love mississippi gary.

Everyone loves gary?
We all love mississippi gary.
Thank you, thank you,

We all love mississippi gary.
Thank you, thank you,
thank you very much.

Thank you, thank you,
thank you very much.
I'd like to play a new song for

Thank you very much.
I'd like to play a new song for
you now.

I'd like to play a new song for
you now.
It's called "there's a very

You now.
It's called "there's a very
effective heckler in my

It's called "there's a very
effective heckler in my
audience" blues.

Effective heckler in my
audience" blues.
Follow me on this one, boys.

Audience" blues.
Follow me on this one, boys.
, , , .

Follow me on this one, boys.
, , , .
♪ He got my number ♪

, , , .
♪ He got my number ♪
♪ oh, yeah,

♪ He got my number ♪
♪ oh, yeah,
he got my number good ♪

♪ Oh, yeah,
he got my number good ♪
♪ he knows

He got my number good ♪
♪ he knows
I live in a nice house

♪ He knows
I live in a nice house
in a real fine neighborhood ♪

♪ Conveniently located

♪ Conveniently located
are private schools

♪ Conveniently located
are private schools
and shopping malls ♪

Are private schools
and shopping malls ♪
♪ yes, it is ♪

Hey, you know what?

Hey, you know what?
It's a fact.

Hey, you know what?
It's a fact.
My neighbors have been in love

It's a fact.
My neighbors have been in love
for years.

My neighbors have been in love
for years.
Your legs drive me crazy!

For years.
Your legs drive me crazy!
Stop it!

Your legs drive me crazy!
Stop it!
Your arms drive me crazy!

Stop it!
Your arms drive me crazy!
Oh, stop!

Your arms drive me crazy!
Oh, stop!
Your smile always drove me

Oh, stop!
Your smile always drove me
crazy.

Your smile always drove me
crazy.
Please!

Crazy.
Please!
Years of love.

Please!
Years of love.
Of course, the booze helps.

Years of love.
Of course, the booze helps.
It's a fact.

Dr. Davis, telephone, please.

Dr. Davis, telephone, please.
Dr. Davis, telephone, please.

Dr. Davis, telephone, please.
Dr. Davis, telephone, please.
Ah!

Dr. Davis, telephone, please.
Ah!
Guys, guys, he's waking.

Ah!
Guys, guys, he's waking.
Hey, bruce.

Guys, guys, he's waking.
Hey, bruce.
It's me, mark.

Hey, bruce.
It's me, mark.
All your friends are here.

It's me, mark.
All your friends are here.
Don't look at me.

All your friends are here.
Don't look at me.
Don't look at me.

Don't look at me.
Don't look at me.
Sure.

Don't look at me.
Sure.
Look at me.

Sure.
Look at me.
Yeah?

Look at me.
Yeah?
You guys know why I'm in

Yeah?
You guys know why I'm in
here, eh?

You guys know why I'm in
here, eh?
I tried to commit su1c1de.

Here, eh?
I tried to commit su1c1de.
Yeah, we...

I tried to commit su1c1de.
Yeah, we...
Yeah.

Yeah, we...
Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.
Yeah.
Kind of a...drastic way to

Yeah.
Kind of a...drastic way to
get out of paying your rent,

Kind of a...drastic way to
get out of paying your rent,
isn't it, buddy?

Get out of paying your rent,
isn't it, buddy?
Yeah, it is.

Isn't it, buddy?
Yeah, it is.
[ All laugh nervously ]

Yeah, it is.
[ All laugh nervously ]
so why'd you do it, bruce,

So why'd you do it, bruce,
huh?
You want to tell us why?

Huh?
You want to tell us why?
Hey, dave?

You want to tell us why?
Hey, dave?
Dave?

Hey, dave?
Dave?
He doesn't have to explain this

Dave?
He doesn't have to explain this
to us.

He doesn't have to explain this
to us.
I mean, come on, I -- don't we

To us.
I mean, come on, I -- don't we
all look into the inky abyss of

I mean, come on, I -- don't we
all look into the inky abyss of
our souls sometime, and don't

All look into the inky abyss of
our souls sometime, and don't
you find the roar of the

Our souls sometime, and don't
you find the roar of the
loneliness we find there

You find the roar of the
loneliness we find there
deafening, man, just deafening?

Loneliness we find there
deafening, man, just deafening?
No, it wasn't that, really.

Deafening, man, just deafening?
No, it wasn't that, really.
Good!

No, it wasn't that, really.
Good!
But it's all in my note, my

Good!
But it's all in my note, my
su1c1de note.

But it's all in my note, my
su1c1de note.
Oh, yeah.

su1c1de note.
Oh, yeah.
What part of the note did you

Oh, yeah.
What part of the note did you
guys like the best?

What part of the note did you
guys like the best?
So many good parts.

Guys like the best?
So many good parts.
I really like when I describe

So many good parts.
I really like when I describe
myself as a prisoner in a

I really like when I describe
myself as a prisoner in a
world-sized jail.

Myself as a prisoner in a
world-sized jail.
That was good.

World-sized jail.
That was good.
I liked that part a lot.

That was good.
I liked that part a lot.
Scott?

I liked that part a lot.
Scott?
Huh?

Scott?
Huh?
Oh, uh, th-that's a tough call,

Huh?
Oh, uh, th-that's a tough call,
bruce.

Oh, uh, th-that's a tough call,
bruce.
Um, there's just so much...

Bruce.
Um, there's just so much...
There was...

Um, there's just so much...
There was...
Scott!

There was...
Scott!
You didn't read my note!

Scott!
You didn't read my note!
Oh, scott.

You didn't read my note!
Oh, scott.
Oh, scott!

Oh, scott.
Oh, scott!
Scott, you really should have

Oh, scott!
Scott, you really should have
read the note.

Scott, you really should have
read the note.
Well, you didn't read any of

Read the note.
Well, you didn't read any of
it either, dave!

Well, you didn't read any of
it either, dave!
Well, it was a bit long,

It either, dave!
Well, it was a bit long,
don't you think?

Well, it was a bit long,
don't you think?
Aha!

Don't you think?
Aha!
Ooh.

Aha!
Ooh.
Yeah, I thought you were trying

Ooh.
Yeah, I thought you were trying
to write yourself to death.

Yeah, I thought you were trying
to write yourself to death.
Kevin?

To write yourself to death.
Kevin?
Hmm?

Kevin?
Hmm?
I thought some of it was great.

Hmm?
I thought some of it was great.
I just didn't get the part where

I thought some of it was great.
I just didn't get the part where
you wanted to k*ll yourself.

I just didn't get the part where
you wanted to k*ll yourself.
Oh, only the point!

You wanted to k*ll yourself.
Oh, only the point!
Only the point, kevin!

Oh, only the point!
Only the point, kevin!
That's right -- the point!

Only the point, kevin!
That's right -- the point!
I missed the point.

That's right -- the point!
I missed the point.
Marcus? Buddy?

I missed the point.
Marcus? Buddy?
Look, I just skimmed it,

Marcus? Buddy?
Look, I just skimmed it,
looking for my name.

Look, I just skimmed it,
looking for my name.
I'm sorry.

Looking for my name.
I'm sorry.
I can't believe that none of

I'm sorry.
I can't believe that none of
you read my su1c1de note!

I can't believe that none of
you read my su1c1de note!
Well...

You read my su1c1de note!
Well...
Get out of here!

Well...
Get out of here!
Okay, sure.

Get out of here!
Okay, sure.
Get out of here.

Okay, sure.
Get out of here.
Okay, you get some sleep, and

Get out of here.
Okay, you get some sleep, and
we'll see you after the funeral,

Okay, you get some sleep, and
we'll see you after the funeral,
okay?

We'll see you after the funeral,
okay?
Funeral?

Okay?
Funeral?
Scott!

Funeral?
Scott!
Oh, jesus.

Scott!
Oh, jesus.
Yeah, the funeral -- leckie's

Oh, jesus.
Yeah, the funeral -- leckie's
funeral.

Yeah, the funeral -- leckie's
funeral.
su1c1de?

Funeral.
su1c1de?
Yeah.

su1c1de?
Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, how did the plagiarist

Yeah.
Well, how did the plagiarist
go?

Well, how did the plagiarist
go?
Naked, on the back of a

Go?
Naked, on the back of a
harley, wearing nothing but

Naked, on the back of a
harley, wearing nothing but
spurs.

Harley, wearing nothing but
spurs.
Nice.

Spurs.
Nice.
Nice note, too -- precise,

Nice.
Nice note, too -- precise,
interesting.

Nice note, too -- precise,
interesting.
I couldn't put it down.

Interesting.
I couldn't put it down.
You know what?

I couldn't put it down.
You know what?
What?

You know what?
What?
I hear that r.e.m. Is turning

What?
I hear that r.e.m. Is turning
it into a song.

I hear that r.e.m. Is turning
it into a song.
Is that true?

It into a song.
Is that true?
It's true.

Is that true?
It's true.
Well, I swallowed a

It's true.
Well, I swallowed a
shoelace!

Well, I swallowed a
shoelace!
I know!

Shoelace!
I know!
You shouldn't have!

I know!
You shouldn't have!
You should not have done that!

You shouldn't have!
You should not have done that!
Don't look at me!

You should not have done that!
Don't look at me!
Okay.

Don't look at me!
Okay.
Get out of here.

Okay.
Get out of here.
Okay.

Get out of here.
Okay.
All of you.

Okay.
All of you.
Get some rest.

All of you.
Get some rest.
All of you.

Get some rest.
All of you.
Let's all go.

All of you.
Let's all go.
Let's all go.

Let's all go.
Let's all go.
Except -- kevin?

Let's all go.
Except -- kevin?
Hmm?

Except -- kevin?
Hmm?
What is it, pal?

Hmm?
What is it, pal?
Read it.

What is it, pal?
Read it.
The note?

Read it.
The note?
Don't you think it's a bit too

The note?
Don't you think it's a bit too
long?

Don't you think it's a bit too
long?
It's only pages.

Long?
It's only pages.
Cut it to , and I'll read

Cut it to , and I'll read
it.
!

It.
!
.

!
.
No, then I'd have to leave

.
No, then I'd have to leave
out high school.

No, then I'd have to leave
out high school.
Well, high school is half the

Out high school.
Well, high school is half the
book.

Well, high school is half the
book.
It's not a book --

Book.
It's not a book --
oh, no!

It's not a book --
oh, no!
It's a cry for help!