[ Upbeat piano music plays ]
f*g!
f*g!
[ Record scratches ]
[ Light jazz music plays ]
[ Light jazz music plays ]
f*g!
[ Light jazz music plays ]
f*g!
[ Record scratches ]
f*g!
[ Record scratches ]
[ rock-'n'-roll music plays ]
[ Record scratches ]
[ rock-'n'-roll music plays ]
f*g!
[ Rock-'n'-roll music plays ]
f*g!
[ Record scratches ]
[ Roars ]
[ Roars ]
f*g.
[ Roars ]
f*g.
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
f*g.
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average
weekend" plays ]
[ Suspenseful music plays ]
Brian?
Brian?
Huh?
Brian?
Huh?
What are you doing with your
Huh?
What are you doing with your
father's wallet, honey?
What are you doing with your
father's wallet, honey?
Uh, I was just looking for
Father's wallet, honey?
Uh, I was just looking for
aunt barb's phone number.
Uh, I was just looking for
aunt barb's phone number.
Why?
Aunt barb's phone number.
Why?
Gee, I don't know.
Why?
Gee, I don't know.
Hey, I guess I must be
Gee, I don't know.
Hey, I guess I must be
sleepwalking, huh?
Hey, I guess I must be
sleepwalking, huh?
Oh, then I won't wake you.
Sleepwalking, huh?
Oh, then I won't wake you.
Yeah.
Oh, then I won't wake you.
Yeah.
'Cause it's dangerous to wake
Yeah.
'Cause it's dangerous to wake
a sleepwalker.
'Cause it's dangerous to wake
a sleepwalker.
You know, my cousin rena was
A sleepwalker.
You know, my cousin rena was
sleepwalking once, and her
You know, my cousin rena was
sleepwalking once, and her
husband, bob --
Sleepwalking once, and her
husband, bob --
wha!
Husband, bob --
wha!
Brian, what the hell are you
Wha!
Brian, what the hell are you
doing?
Brian, what the hell are you
doing?
Oh, I see.
Doing?
Oh, I see.
I knew you'd been stealing from
I knew you'd been stealing from
me!
Gordon, don't wake him.
Me!
Gordon, don't wake him.
He's sleepwalking.
Gordon, don't wake him.
He's sleepwalking.
It's dangerous.
He's sleepwalking.
It's dangerous.
Yeah, and I'm asleep, too,
It's dangerous.
Yeah, and I'm asleep, too,
and I'm ready to do a little
Yeah, and I'm asleep, too,
and I'm ready to do a little
sleep-fighting.
And I'm ready to do a little
sleep-fighting.
Gordon!
Sleep-fighting.
Gordon!
Don't wake me!
Gordon!
Don't wake me!
Now, come on.
Don't wake me!
Now, come on.
You g*dd*mn bastard!
Now, come on.
You g*dd*mn bastard!
Get out.
You g*dd*mn bastard!
Get out.
Gordon, really.
Get out.
Gordon, really.
Oh, boy.
Gordon, really.
Oh, boy.
Gee, where am i?
Oh, boy.
Gee, where am i?
You're at home, dear.
Gee, where am i?
You're at home, dear.
What?
You're at home, dear.
What?
Yeah, you were sleepwalking.
What?
Yeah, you were sleepwalking.
Are you okay?
Yeah, you were sleepwalking.
Are you okay?
Gee!
Are you okay?
Gee!
What a strange and mysterious
Gee!
What a strange and mysterious
organ the human mind is that we
What a strange and mysterious
organ the human mind is that we
barely understand, huh?
Organ the human mind is that we
barely understand, huh?
You thief!
Barely understand, huh?
You thief!
Somnambulist, okay?
You thief!
Somnambulist, okay?
Adopted!
Somnambulist, okay?
Adopted!
I wish.
Adopted!
I wish.
He's joking.
I wish.
He's joking.
Hope you were.
He's joking.
Hope you were.
Gordon, why did you wake him?
Hope you were.
Gordon, why did you wake him?
You know that it's dangerous to
Gordon, why did you wake him?
You know that it's dangerous to
wake a sleepwalker.
You know that it's dangerous to
wake a sleepwalker.
That's what k*lled my cousin
Wake a sleepwalker.
That's what k*lled my cousin
rena, you know.
That's what k*lled my cousin
rena, you know.
Drinking k*lled rena.
Rena, you know.
Drinking k*lled rena.
Oh, there's two sides to
Drinking k*lled rena.
Oh, there's two sides to
every story.
Oh, there's two sides to
every story.
Fran, the coroner said there
Every story.
Fran, the coroner said there
was no liver in her body left
Fran, the coroner said there
was no liver in her body left
whatsoever.
Was no liver in her body left
whatsoever.
So you say, but there's
Whatsoever.
So you say, but there's
two sides to every story.
So you say, but there's
two sides to every story.
Come on, fran, she d*ed with
Two sides to every story.
Come on, fran, she d*ed with
a gin bottle stuck in her mouth.
Come on, fran, she d*ed with
a gin bottle stuck in her mouth.
There's two sides to every
A gin bottle stuck in her mouth.
There's two sides to every
story.
There's two sides to every
story.
What really happened,
Story.
What really happened,
mr. Smarty-pants, is she was,
What really happened,
mr. Smarty-pants, is she was,
uh, sleepwalking one night, and
Mr. Smarty-pants, is she was,
uh, sleepwalking one night, and
her husband, bob, who'd been --
Uh, sleepwalking one night, and
her husband, bob, who'd been --
[ snoring ]
Her husband, bob, who'd been --
[ snoring ]
well, I'll finish it anyways.
[ Snoring ]
well, I'll finish it anyways.
See, she had a bad oyster at one
Well, I'll finish it anyways.
See, she had a bad oyster at one
of those seafood places you can
See, she had a bad oyster at one
of those seafood places you can
see from the highway...
So where is it?
So where is it?
Hold your horses.
So where is it?
Hold your horses.
Hold your horses.
Hold your horses.
Hold your horses.
Ta-da!
Hold your horses.
Ta-da!
Her name is tiggy.
Ta-da!
Her name is tiggy.
Oh, yeah.
Her name is tiggy.
Oh, yeah.
Here, tiggy.
Oh, yeah.
Here, tiggy.
So, what does it do?
Here, tiggy.
So, what does it do?
Huh?
So, what does it do?
Huh?
Come on, lie down.
Huh?
Come on, lie down.
Lie down.
Come on, lie down.
Lie down.
Roll over.
Lie down.
Roll over.
Come on.
Roll over.
Come on.
Lie down.
Come on.
Lie down.
Roll over.
Lie down.
Roll over.
Play dead.
Roll over.
Play dead.
What a useless dog.
Play dead.
What a useless dog.
Huh?
What a useless dog.
Huh?
It doesn't do anything.
Huh?
It doesn't do anything.
Gotta go, jerry.
It doesn't do anything.
Gotta go, jerry.
Thanks for letting me see your
Gotta go, jerry.
Thanks for letting me see your
dog.
Thanks for letting me see your
dog.
Okay, phil, see you later.
Dog.
Okay, phil, see you later.
Thanks for dropping by.
Okay, phil, see you later.
Thanks for dropping by.
Yeah.
Thanks for dropping by.
Yeah.
You humiliated me in front of
Yeah.
You humiliated me in front of
my friend.
You humiliated me in front of
my friend.
What the hell do you do?
My friend.
What the hell do you do?
I have no reason to keep you.
What the hell do you do?
I have no reason to keep you.
For what -- to piss on my floor?
I have no reason to keep you.
For what -- to piss on my floor?
To eat my food?
For what -- to piss on my floor?
To eat my food?
Huh?
To eat my food?
Huh?
What do you do?
Huh?
What do you do?
Justify your existence!
What do you do?
Justify your existence!
You either do a trick, or I'm
Justify your existence!
You either do a trick, or I'm
gonna kick you on your ass!
You either do a trick, or I'm
gonna kick you on your ass!
You got one hour to perform a
Gonna kick you on your ass!
You got one hour to perform a
trick, or you're out!
You got one hour to perform a
trick, or you're out!
[ Light jazz music plays ]
Okay, play dead.
Okay, play dead.
No?
Okay, play dead.
No?
You got one hour, then out.
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
You got one hour, then out!
What do you mean I haven't been
You got one hour, then out!
What do you mean I haven't been
to work for a week?
What do you mean I haven't been
to work for a week?
Are you crazy?
To work for a week?
Are you crazy?
It's sunday, :.
Are you crazy?
It's sunday, :.
I've been training my dog.
It's sunday, :.
I've been training my dog.
What do you mean I'm fired?
I've been training my dog.
What do you mean I'm fired?
Are you crazy?
What do you mean I'm fired?
Are you crazy?
What do you mean it's friday
Are you crazy?
What do you mean it's friday
evening?
What do you mean it's friday
evening?
It's sunday, :.
Evening?
It's sunday, :.
I've been training my dog.
Hi there.
Hi there.
Hi.
Hi there.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Hi.
Would you like the
Hi.
Would you like the
smoking section, the
Would you like the
smoking section, the
non-smoking section, or the
Smoking section, the
non-smoking section, or the
section where people talk about
Non-smoking section, or the
section where people talk about
their relationships?
Section where people talk about
their relationships?
Don't ask me questions.
Their relationships?
Don't ask me questions.
My father used to do that.
Don't ask me questions.
My father used to do that.
She can't even spell the word
My father used to do that.
She can't even spell the word
"orgasm," much less have one.
She can't even spell the word
"orgasm," much less have one.
Uh, I think we'll sit in
"Orgasm," much less have one.
Uh, I think we'll sit in
non-smoking.
Uh, I think we'll sit in
non-smoking.
No, actually, I think we
Non-smoking.
No, actually, I think we
should sit in the relationship
No, actually, I think we
should sit in the relationship
section for a while.
Should sit in the relationship
section for a while.
Straight ahead.
Section for a while.
Straight ahead.
Why does she have to spell it
Straight ahead.
Why does she have to spell it
to have one?
Why does she have to spell it
to have one?
For the list -- the sexual
To have one?
For the list -- the sexual
shopping list!
For the list -- the sexual
shopping list!
What is it?
Shopping list!
What is it?
I broke up with you.
What is it?
I broke up with you.
What?
I broke up with you.
What?
Yeah.
What?
Yeah.
We broke up a couple of months
Yeah.
We broke up a couple of months
ago.
We broke up a couple of months
ago.
I told a lot of other people.
Ago.
I told a lot of other people.
I just never got around to
I told a lot of other people.
I just never got around to
telling you.
I just never got around to
telling you.
Sorry.
Telling you.
Sorry.
So you want to break up with
Sorry.
So you want to break up with
me, then?
So you want to break up with
me, then?
Yeah.
Me, then?
Yeah.
Is it 'cause I farted that
Yeah.
Is it 'cause I farted that
time?
Is it 'cause I farted that
time?
That's it, right?
Time?
That's it, right?
No.
That's it, right?
No.
What time?
No.
What time?
Oh, you never noticed?
What time?
Oh, you never noticed?
No.
Oh, you never noticed?
No.
Then why?
No.
Then why?
I met someone else.
Then why?
I met someone else.
Who?
I met someone else.
Who?
Well, it doesn't really
Who?
Well, it doesn't really
matter, does it?
Well, it doesn't really
matter, does it?
No, you're right.
Matter, does it?
No, you're right.
Let me ask you a question,
No, you're right.
Let me ask you a question,
though.
Let me ask you a question,
though.
Who?
Though.
Who?
Him.
Who?
Him.
That guy?
Him.
That guy?
Yeah.
That guy?
Yeah.
I knew we shouldn't have sat
Yeah.
I knew we shouldn't have sat
so close to him.
I knew we shouldn't have sat
so close to him.
So you're seeing someone new.
So close to him.
So you're seeing someone new.
I can live with that.
So you're seeing someone new.
I can live with that.
But let me ask you a
I can live with that.
But let me ask you a
question.
But let me ask you a
question.
How will this affect us?
Question.
How will this affect us?
Well, i-i just thought you
How will this affect us?
Well, i-i just thought you
should know.
Well, i-i just thought you
should know.
I thought that was fair.
Should know.
I thought that was fair.
Okay, but how will this
I thought that was fair.
Okay, but how will this
impact on our relationship?
Okay, but how will this
impact on our relationship?
Well, I'll be with him.
Impact on our relationship?
Well, I'll be with him.
So it'll be the three of us,
Well, I'll be with him.
So it'll be the three of us,
then?
So it'll be the three of us,
then?
No, it'll just be me and him.
Then?
No, it'll just be me and him.
I-i-i can live with that.
No, it'll just be me and him.
I-i-i can live with that.
I-i-i think you underestimate my
I-i-i can live with that.
I-i-i think you underestimate my
ability t-t-to adapt.
I-i-i think you underestimate my
ability t-t-to adapt.
I mean, it's not like you're
Ability t-t-to adapt.
I mean, it's not like you're
getting married.
I mean, it's not like you're
getting married.
Well, yes, actually, it is
Getting married.
Well, yes, actually, it is
like we're getting married.
Well, yes, actually, it is
like we're getting married.
What's wrong with the lights
Like we're getting married.
What's wrong with the lights
in here?
What's wrong with the lights
in here?
It's like they put on a
In here?
It's like they put on a
strobe light or something.
It's like they put on a
strobe light or something.
So, what am I supposed to do?
Strobe light or something.
So, what am I supposed to do?
I don't know.
So, what am I supposed to do?
I don't know.
Aha!
I don't know.
Aha!
There's the flaw in your plan.
Aha!
There's the flaw in your plan.
It's not a very good plan if you
There's the flaw in your plan.
It's not a very good plan if you
haven't considered what I was
It's not a very good plan if you
haven't considered what I was
going to do.
Haven't considered what I was
going to do.
We have a loophole.
Going to do.
We have a loophole.
Okay, honey, how was your day?
We have a loophole.
Okay, honey, how was your day?
You'll be out of the picture!
Okay, honey, how was your day?
You'll be out of the picture!
Oh, you have thought about
You'll be out of the picture!
Oh, you have thought about
it.
Oh, you have thought about
it.
Yes.
It.
Yes.
So you're marrying someone
Yes.
So you're marrying someone
new, eh?
So you're marrying someone
new, eh?
I can live with that.
New, eh?
I can live with that.
Why, thank you.
I can live with that.
Why, thank you.
How long do you think you'll
Why, thank you.
How long do you think you'll
be?
How long do you think you'll
be?
Forever!
Be?
Forever!
Honey, have you read the
Forever!
Honey, have you read the
divorce statistics recently?
Honey, have you read the
divorce statistics recently?
Look, I've got to go, okay?
Divorce statistics recently?
Look, I've got to go, okay?
Can I tell people we're
Look, I've got to go, okay?
Can I tell people we're
having a trial separation and
Can I tell people we're
having a trial separation and
that you're having a practice
Having a trial separation and
that you're having a practice
wedding?
That you're having a practice
wedding?
Tell them whatever you want.
Wedding?
Tell them whatever you want.
I'll tell them we're having a
Tell them whatever you want.
I'll tell them we're having a
trial separation and that you're
I'll tell them we're having a
trial separation and that you're
having a practice wedding.
Trial separation and that you're
having a practice wedding.
Hey, buddy, good luck with your
Having a practice wedding.
Hey, buddy, good luck with your
practice wedding.
Hey, buddy, good luck with your
practice wedding.
That guy?
Practice wedding.
That guy?
And all along I was worried
That guy?
And all along I was worried
about tom cruise.
[ Upbeat music plays ]
[ Upbeat music plays ]
and now back to "painting
[ Upbeat music plays ]
and now back to "painting
with the inner child with
And now back to "painting
with the inner child with
daryl."
With the inner child with
daryl."
That's darrill.
Daryl."
That's darrill.
Can we get that fixed for once
That's darrill.
Can we get that fixed for once
and for all?
Can we get that fixed for once
and for all?
Okay.
And for all?
Okay.
Ah, great!
Okay.
Ah, great!
Well, spring has sprung in our
Ah, great!
Well, spring has sprung in our
little forest thanks to a
Well, spring has sprung in our
little forest thanks to a
combination of the number-two
Little forest thanks to a
combination of the number-two
brush, the ocher, and the
Combination of the number-two
brush, the ocher, and the
forest green.
Brush, the ocher, and the
forest green.
So, now we're going to add a sun
Forest green.
So, now we're going to add a sun
so that our two lovers, who are
So, now we're going to add a sun
so that our two lovers, who are
probably getting up to some
So that our two lovers, who are
probably getting up to some
romance down here on the
Probably getting up to some
romance down here on the
foreground, might have something
Romance down here on the
foreground, might have something
to warm them up.
Foreground, might have something
to warm them up.
But let's hope they keep their
To warm them up.
But let's hope they keep their
clothes on because I'm
But let's hope they keep their
clothes on because I'm
completely out of pink.
Clothes on because I'm
completely out of pink.
Okay.
Completely out of pink.
Okay.
Now, to do a sun is not hard,
Okay.
Now, to do a sun is not hard,
and I have a trick for you.
Now, to do a sun is not hard,
and I have a trick for you.
It's easy.
And I have a trick for you.
It's easy.
All you need is something round,
It's easy.
All you need is something round,
like, um...oh, like the bottom
All you need is something round,
like, um...oh, like the bottom
of this styrofoam cup, which
Like, um...oh, like the bottom
of this styrofoam cup, which
martin, our cameraman, was
Of this styrofoam cup, which
martin, our cameraman, was
enjoying some hot chocolate in.
Martin, our cameraman, was
enjoying some hot chocolate in.
What you do is you take --
Enjoying some hot chocolate in.
What you do is you take --
I see you were still enjoying
What you do is you take --
I see you were still enjoying
that, martin.
I see you were still enjoying
that, martin.
I'm sorry.
That, martin.
I'm sorry.
I guess I owe you one
I'm sorry.
I guess I owe you one
hot chocolate.
I guess I owe you one
hot chocolate.
You remind me, though, okay?
Hot chocolate.
You remind me, though, okay?
All right.
You remind me, though, okay?
All right.
Well, let's take the -- the
All right.
Well, let's take the -- the
now-empty cup, which we will
Well, let's take the -- the
now-empty cup, which we will
press into some yellow paint
Now-empty cup, which we will
press into some yellow paint
like so, and then place in the
Press into some yellow paint
like so, and then place in the
canvas somewhere around the tops
Like so, and then place in the
canvas somewhere around the tops
of the mountains.
Canvas somewhere around the tops
of the mountains.
Not on the land or it'll be,
Of the mountains.
Not on the land or it'll be,
"run for your lives!
Not on the land or it'll be,
"run for your lives!
The sun has landed, and not even
"Run for your lives!
The sun has landed, and not even
the children can be safe!"
The sun has landed, and not even
the children can be safe!"
No, we put it in the sky, okay?
The children can be safe!"
No, we put it in the sky, okay?
Like so.
No, we put it in the sky, okay?
Like so.
Landscape painting is so easy,
Like so.
Landscape painting is so easy,
isn't it?
Landscape painting is so easy,
isn't it?
Great!
Isn't it?
Great!
Now that that's done, let's turn
Great!
Now that that's done, let's turn
our attention back to the
Now that that's done, let's turn
our attention back to the
lovers.
Our attention back to the
lovers.
Now, when I brought in the
Lovers.
Now, when I brought in the
canvas from the storeroom today,
Now, when I brought in the
canvas from the storeroom today,
martin, our cameraman, remarked
Canvas from the storeroom today,
martin, our cameraman, remarked
that he thought the lovers
Martin, our cameraman, remarked
that he thought the lovers
looked -- well, how did you put
That he thought the lovers
looked -- well, how did you put
it, martin?
Looked -- well, how did you put
it, martin?
I said I thought they were
It, martin?
I said I thought they were
f*cked.
I said I thought they were
f*cked.
I think what he meant is
f*cked.
I think what he meant is
vague, and I agree.
I think what he meant is
vague, and I agree.
So, let's give them something,
Vague, and I agree.
So, let's give them something,
shall we?
So, let's give them something,
shall we?
Now, if you remember, all great
Shall we?
Now, if you remember, all great
paintings have an element of
Now, if you remember, all great
paintings have an element of
tragedy to them.
Paintings have an element of
tragedy to them.
For instance, if you remember
Tragedy to them.
For instance, if you remember
from last week, the unicorn was
For instance, if you remember
from last week, the unicorn was
stuck on the aircraft carrier
From last week, the unicorn was
stuck on the aircraft carrier
and couldn't get off.
Stuck on the aircraft carrier
and couldn't get off.
That was very sad, and this week
And couldn't get off.
That was very sad, and this week
some of you wrote in with your
That was very sad, and this week
some of you wrote in with your
suggestions.
Some of you wrote in with your
suggestions.
In fact, mrs. Drabinsky of
Suggestions.
In fact, mrs. Drabinsky of
paulvale street wrote in and
In fact, mrs. Drabinsky of
paulvale street wrote in and
suggested we give this lover a
Paulvale street wrote in and
suggested we give this lover a
tumor in his head.
Suggested we give this lover a
tumor in his head.
So, let's begin.
Tumor in his head.
So, let's begin.
Now, color is especially
So, let's begin.
Now, color is especially
important with a tumor.
Now, color is especially
important with a tumor.
You want some red, and you want
Important with a tumor.
You want some red, and you want
some green, and you want a
You want some red, and you want
some green, and you want a
little bit of blue to make it
Some green, and you want a
little bit of blue to make it
out -- there.
Little bit of blue to make it
out -- there.
Can you see that?
Out -- there.
Can you see that?
That's a really nice color for a
Can you see that?
That's a really nice color for a
tumor, isn't it?
That's a really nice color for a
tumor, isn't it?
All right.
Tumor, isn't it?
All right.
Now, let's work with the color
All right.
Now, let's work with the color
we've created and add the tumor.
Now, let's work with the color
we've created and add the tumor.
Now, the thing is we don't want
We've created and add the tumor.
Now, the thing is we don't want
the tumor too big.
Now, the thing is we don't want
the tumor too big.
We don't want to steal focus
The tumor too big.
We don't want to steal focus
from the mountains, okay?
We don't want to steal focus
from the mountains, okay?
And what we'll do is we'll
From the mountains, okay?
And what we'll do is we'll
reflect the tumor in the water
And what we'll do is we'll
reflect the tumor in the water
down here, but we work again
Reflect the tumor in the water
down here, but we work again
with the color we've created.
Down here, but we work again
with the color we've created.
We just sort of imply it because
With the color we've created.
We just sort of imply it because
we don't want to wind up
We just sort of imply it because
we don't want to wind up
screaming, "hey, everyone, look!
We don't want to wind up
screaming, "hey, everyone, look!
There's a reflection of a tumor
Screaming, "hey, everyone, look!
There's a reflection of a tumor
in the lake!"
There's a reflection of a tumor
in the lake!"
That's not what we want.
In the lake!"
That's not what we want.
This is quite a sad painting
That's not what we want.
This is quite a sad painting
now, I think.
This is quite a sad painting
now, I think.
Perhaps this is the last time
Now, I think.
Perhaps this is the last time
our lovers will be here
Perhaps this is the last time
our lovers will be here
together.
Our lovers will be here
together.
I don't think this one will be
Together.
I don't think this one will be
around the next time the snows
I don't think this one will be
around the next time the snows
settle on the gentle slopes of
Around the next time the snows
settle on the gentle slopes of
mount schwarzkopf up here.
Settle on the gentle slopes of
mount schwarzkopf up here.
Okay, time's up.
Mount schwarzkopf up here.
Okay, time's up.
What?
Okay, time's up.
What?
Out of time already?
What?
Out of time already?
Oh, what a damnable nuisance
Out of time already?
Oh, what a damnable nuisance
that clock is.
Oh, what a damnable nuisance
that clock is.
Okay.
That clock is.
Okay.
I guess the mountain goats and
Okay.
I guess the mountain goats and
the ufos will have to wait for
I guess the mountain goats and
the ufos will have to wait for
next week and --
The ufos will have to wait for
next week and --
[ upbeat music plays ]
Next week and --
[ upbeat music plays ]
what do you mean not next week?
[ Upbeat music plays ]
what do you mean not next week?
Well, when am I back?
What do you mean not next week?
Well, when am I back?
Well, painters want to know!
Well, when am I back?
Well, painters want to know!
Can we --
Well, painters want to know!
Can we --
this has been "painting with
Can we --
this has been "painting with
the inner child with daryl."
This has been "painting with
the inner child with daryl."
That's darrill.
The inner child with daryl."
That's darrill.
Can we get that fixed?
I don't blame rena at all.
I don't blame rena at all.
I blame the manufacturers who
I don't blame rena at all.
I blame the manufacturers who
made the nightie.
I blame the manufacturers who
made the nightie.
There should have been a warning
Made the nightie.
There should have been a warning
that it was so flammable.
There should have been a warning
that it was so flammable.
Wha!
That it was so flammable.
Wha!
What is it, gordon?
Wha!
What is it, gordon?
Why don't you get up on top
What is it, gordon?
Why don't you get up on top
of me?
Why don't you get up on top
of me?
Oh, gordon, it's not even
Of me?
Oh, gordon, it's not even
hockey night.
Oh, gordon, it's not even
hockey night.
No, I think it would be good
Hockey night.
No, I think it would be good
for both of us.
No, I think it would be good
for both of us.
Oh, I don't know.
For both of us.
Oh, I don't know.
Please?
Oh, I don't know.
Please?
Okay.
Wha!
Wha!
Fran, what the hell are you
Wha!
Fran, what the hell are you
doing?!
Fran, what the hell are you
doing?!
Well, gordon, I -- I was just
Doing?!
Well, gordon, I -- I was just
seeing what the temperature was
Well, gordon, I -- I was just
seeing what the temperature was
like outside, and, well, I
Seeing what the temperature was
like outside, and, well, I
didn't hear that noise
Like outside, and, well, I
didn't hear that noise
downstairs, and I think I smell
Didn't hear that noise
downstairs, and I think I smell
toast burning.
Downstairs, and I think I smell
toast burning.
Come on, you "hee haw" girls.
Toast burning.
Come on, you "hee haw" girls.
Don't make me come to that
Come on, you "hee haw" girls.
Don't make me come to that
cornfield after you.
Ray, I guess you're wondering
Ray, I guess you're wondering
why I asked you here tonight.
Ray, I guess you're wondering
why I asked you here tonight.
Well, the board had a little
Why I asked you here tonight.
Well, the board had a little
meeting today, and unless my
Well, the board had a little
meeting today, and unless my
eyes deceive me, I think I'm
Meeting today, and unless my
eyes deceive me, I think I'm
facing the new vice-president in
Eyes deceive me, I think I'm
facing the new vice-president in
charge of distribution.
Facing the new vice-president in
charge of distribution.
Congratulations, ray.
Charge of distribution.
Congratulations, ray.
Thank you, mr. Barnes.
Congratulations, ray.
Thank you, mr. Barnes.
Please, call me russell.
Thank you, mr. Barnes.
Please, call me russell.
Let's celebrate with a drink.
Please, call me russell.
Let's celebrate with a drink.
Oh, I'm afraid I don't drink,
Let's celebrate with a drink.
Oh, I'm afraid I don't drink,
russ.
Oh, I'm afraid I don't drink,
russ.
Grown man like you, ray?
Russ.
Grown man like you, ray?
Well, I've just never liked
Grown man like you, ray?
Well, I've just never liked
the taste of alcohol.
Well, I've just never liked
the taste of alcohol.
Oh, come on, ray.
The taste of alcohol.
Oh, come on, ray.
What about a chocolate
Oh, come on, ray.
What about a chocolate
choo-choo?
What about a chocolate
choo-choo?
It's a girl drink.
Choo-choo?
It's a girl drink.
Tastes like candy.
It's a girl drink.
Tastes like candy.
[ Ominously ] don't disappoint
Tastes like candy.
[ Ominously ] don't disappoint
me, ray.
[ Ominously ] don't disappoint
me, ray.
Okay, uh, sure, russ, I'll
Me, ray.
Okay, uh, sure, russ, I'll
have a chocolate choo-choo.
Okay, uh, sure, russ, I'll
have a chocolate choo-choo.
Great.
Have a chocolate choo-choo.
Great.
I hate to drink alone.
Great.
I hate to drink alone.
Can I have a chocolate choo-choo
I hate to drink alone.
Can I have a chocolate choo-choo
for my friend, please, and I'll
Can I have a chocolate choo-choo
for my friend, please, and I'll
have a scotch and soda.
[ Upbeat music plays ]
I think I did!
I think I did!
Hey, dead soldier, huh, ray?
I think I did!
Hey, dead soldier, huh, ray?
Another tahitian tiki for my
Hey, dead soldier, huh, ray?
Another tahitian tiki for my
friend, the vice-president!
Another tahitian tiki for my
friend, the vice-president!
And, waitress, this time no
Friend, the vice-president!
And, waitress, this time no
giggling.
And, waitress, this time no
giggling.
[ Music continues ]
[ Slurping ]
[ Slurping ]
waitress, could my friend have
[ Slurping ]
waitress, could my friend have
another bourbon bug's blood?
Waitress, could my friend have
another bourbon bug's blood?
Will he need a fresh bib?
Ray?
Ray?
Ray?
Ray?
Ray?
Are you okay?
Ray?
Are you okay?
Is -- is anything wrong?
Are you okay?
Is -- is anything wrong?
No, I'm -- I'm -- I'm fine.
Is -- is anything wrong?
No, I'm -- I'm -- I'm fine.
I just have to -- I've just got
No, I'm -- I'm -- I'm fine.
I just have to -- I've just got
to...
I just have to -- I've just got
to...
I've just got to go get some
To...
I've just got to go get some
paper clips.
I've just got to go get some
paper clips.
Okay.
Paper clips.
Okay.
Morning, ladies.
Okay.
Morning, ladies.
I'll just be in here if anyone
Morning, ladies.
I'll just be in here if anyone
should...need me.
I'll just be in here if anyone
should...need me.
[ Door closes ]
Should...need me.
[ Door closes ]
[ upbeat music plays ]
[ Whirring ]
[ Whirring ]
are you okay in there, ray?
[ Whirring ]
are you okay in there, ray?
I'm fine!
Are you okay in there, ray?
I'm fine!
I'm just looking for
I'm fine!
I'm just looking for
paper clips!
Everything's all right.
Everything's all right.
I found them.
Everything's all right.
I found them.
Ray, mr. Miller would like to
I found them.
Ray, mr. Miller would like to
see you.
Ray, mr. Miller would like to
see you.
Really?
See you.
Really?
That's excellent.
Really?
That's excellent.
I'll just get some more
That's excellent.
I'll just get some more
paper clips first.
I'll just get some more
paper clips first.
[ Door closes ]
Paper clips first.
[ Door closes ]
russ, I hear you wanted to see
[ Door closes ]
russ, I hear you wanted to see
me.
Russ, I hear you wanted to see
me.
Have a seat, ray.
Me.
Have a seat, ray.
Sure.
Would you like a drink?
Would you like a drink?
Yes, russ, I'll have a
Would you like a drink?
Yes, russ, I'll have a
squashed strawberry alley cat,
Yes, russ, I'll have a
squashed strawberry alley cat,
if you don't mind.
Squashed strawberry alley cat,
if you don't mind.
Gee, ray, I don't think I
If you don't mind.
Gee, ray, I don't think I
know that one.
Gee, ray, I don't think I
know that one.
Well, it's really quite
Know that one.
Well, it's really quite
simple, russ.
Well, it's really quite
simple, russ.
You simply take large
Simple, russ.
You simply take large
strawberries, chopped,
You simply take large
strawberries, chopped,
three ounces of dark rum, and a
Strawberries, chopped,
three ounces of dark rum, and a
splash of crème de menthe.
Three ounces of dark rum, and a
splash of crème de menthe.
Coming, coming.
Splash of crème de menthe.
Coming, coming.
Shake gently and pour.
Coming, coming.
Shake gently and pour.
Here you go, ray.
Shake gently and pour.
Here you go, ray.
Ooh.
Here you go, ray.
Ooh.
Thank you, russ.
Ooh.
Thank you, russ.
Ray, I'm sorry to have to
Thank you, russ.
Ray, I'm sorry to have to
tell you this, but you missed a
Ray, I'm sorry to have to
tell you this, but you missed a
whole week's work.
Tell you this, but you missed a
whole week's work.
But I can 'splain.
Whole week's work.
But I can 'splain.
No, ray, no "'splanations"
But I can 'splain.
No, ray, no "'splanations"
necessary.
No, ray, no "'splanations"
necessary.
It's your drinking.
Necessary.
It's your drinking.
It's gone out of control.
It's your drinking.
It's gone out of control.
Let's face it, ray -- you're a
It's gone out of control.
Let's face it, ray -- you're a
girl-drink drunk.
Let's face it, ray -- you're a
girl-drink drunk.
We've got to let you go.
Girl-drink drunk.
We've got to let you go.
But you know, ray, I can't help
We've got to let you go.
But you know, ray, I can't help
feeling responsible for your
But you know, ray, I can't help
feeling responsible for your
condition.
Feeling responsible for your
condition.
But then, I can't help not
Condition.
But then, I can't help not
caring.
But then, I can't help not
caring.
It's who I am, and I refuse to
Caring.
It's who I am, and I refuse to
apologize for it.
It's who I am, and I refuse to
apologize for it.
Now, get out of my office before
Apologize for it.
Now, get out of my office before
you start throwing up little
Now, get out of my office before
you start throwing up little
fruity things.
You start throwing up little
fruity things.
Fine.
Fruity things.
Fine.
But you know, you're not the
Fine.
But you know, you're not the
only cardboard-packaging company
But you know, you're not the
only cardboard-packaging company
in town.
Only cardboard-packaging company
in town.
Yes, we are, ray.
In town.
Yes, we are, ray.
Oh?
Yes, we are, ray.
Oh?
Oh, well.
Oh?
Oh, well.
[ Upbeat music plays ]
Hey, mister, here's your
Hey, mister, here's your
milkshake.
Hey, mister, here's your
milkshake.
Thanks for the ice cream.
Milkshake.
Thanks for the ice cream.
Thanks, kid.
Tastes like candy, ray.
Tastes like candy, ray.
It's a...girl drink.
Tastes like candy, ray.
It's a...girl drink.
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
It's a...girl drink.
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average
weekend" plays ]
03x02 - Episode 2
Watch/Buy Amazon
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.
The Kids frequently appeared as themselves rather than as characters, and some sketches dealt directly with the fact that they were a comedy troupe producing a TV show.