03x05 - Episode 5

[bunniefuu]

I'm almost ready.

I'm almost ready.
They're right behind me.

I'm almost ready.
They're right behind me.
Jay, how are you?

They're right behind me.
Jay, how are you?
How are you doing, jay?

Jay, how are you?
How are you doing, jay?
Good to see you.

How are you doing, jay?
Good to see you.
You know my new assistant,

Good to see you.
You know my new assistant,
jay.

You know my new assistant,
jay.
We'd like to thank you for

Jay.
We'd like to thank you for
flying in on such short notice.

We'd like to thank you for
flying in on such short notice.
Boy, that red-eye flight sure

Flying in on such short notice.
Boy, that red-eye flight sure
can be bad.

Boy, that red-eye flight sure
can be bad.
[ Laughs ]

Can be bad.
[ Laughs ]
actually, it was pretty good

[ Laughs ]
actually, it was pretty good
today.

Actually, it was pretty good
today.
Yeah, it was quite a nice

Today.
Yeah, it was quite a nice
flight.

Yeah, it was quite a nice
flight.
Well, then, it must be

Flight.
Well, then, it must be
getting better.

Well, then, it must be
getting better.
[ Laughs ]

Getting better.
[ Laughs ]
the flight's getting better!

[ Laughs ]
the flight's getting better!
Okay, jay.

The flight's getting better!
Okay, jay.
Down to business.

Okay, jay.
Down to business.
Thank you, robert.

Down to business.
Thank you, robert.
Okay, gentlemen, as you know,

Thank you, robert.
Okay, gentlemen, as you know,
we're very eager to do business

Okay, gentlemen, as you know,
we're very eager to do business
with you.

We're very eager to do business
with you.
Yes, we know that.

With you.
Yes, we know that.
I'd like to begin the

Yes, we know that.
I'd like to begin the
presentation, but first, the

I'd like to begin the
presentation, but first, the
whores!

Presentation, but first, the
whores!
[ Rock music plays ]

Whores!
[ Rock music plays ]
what the hell is going on

[ Rock music plays ]
what the hell is going on
here?

What the hell is going on
here?
This is highly irregular!

Here?
This is highly irregular!
Jay!

This is highly irregular!
Jay!
This is not how we do business

Jay!
This is not how we do business
here!

This is not how we do business
here!
[ Music stops ]

Here!
[ Music stops ]
ladies, please, you'll excuse

[ Music stops ]
ladies, please, you'll excuse
us.

Ladies, please, you'll excuse
us.
Uh, gentlemen, you'll have to

Us.
Uh, gentlemen, you'll have to
excuse jay.

Uh, gentlemen, you'll have to
excuse jay.
He's new to his post, and he's

Excuse jay.
He's new to his post, and he's
anxious to please.

He's new to his post, and he's
anxious to please.
Please excuse this error in

Anxious to please.
Please excuse this error in
judgment.

Please excuse this error in
judgment.
Sure.

Judgment.
Sure.
Yeah, all right, fine.

Sure.
Yeah, all right, fine.
Thank you very much.

Yeah, all right, fine.
Thank you very much.
Jay, if you would, we'll have

Thank you very much.
Jay, if you would, we'll have
the presentation.

Jay, if you would, we'll have
the presentation.
Then we'll have the whores!

The presentation.
Then we'll have the whores!
Yeah, like always.

Then we'll have the whores!
Yeah, like always.
Presentation, then the

Yeah, like always.
Presentation, then the
whores.

Presentation, then the
whores.
Business, then whores.

Whores.
Business, then whores.
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy

Business, then whores.
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average

[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average
weekend" plays ]

Well, goodbye, jarvis, it's

Well, goodbye, jarvis, it's
been nice, uh, working with you.

Well, goodbye, jarvis, it's
been nice, uh, working with you.
Yep, see you monday.

Been nice, uh, working with you.
Yep, see you monday.
No, I won't be here on

Yep, see you monday.
No, I won't be here on
monday.

No, I won't be here on
monday.
Oh, that's right, you're a

Monday.
Oh, that's right, you're a
temp.

Oh, that's right, you're a
temp.
Yeah.

Temp.
Yeah.
So you're leaving us.

Yeah.
So you're leaving us.
Yeah, last day.

So you're leaving us.
Yeah, last day.
Well, goodbye.

Yeah, last day.
Well, goodbye.
♪ Goodbye, tanya ♪

Well, goodbye.
♪ Goodbye, tanya ♪
♪ goodbye, tanya ♪

♪ Goodbye, tanya ♪
♪ goodbye, tanya ♪
♪ goodbye, tanya ♪

♪ Goodbye, tanya ♪
♪ goodbye, tanya ♪
♪ we hate to see you go ♪

♪ Goodbye, tanya ♪
♪ we hate to see you go ♪
oh, god, you guys remembered!

♪ We hate to see you go ♪
oh, god, you guys remembered!
Of course we remembered.

Oh, god, you guys remembered!
Of course we remembered.
Oh, you remembered.

Of course we remembered.
Oh, you remembered.
That's so nice.

Oh, you remembered.
That's so nice.
That's so nice.

That's so nice.
That's so nice.
Is this everyone?

That's so nice.
Is this everyone?
Yeah -- kathy, is it?

Is this everyone?
Yeah -- kathy, is it?
Well, we are competing with a

Yeah -- kathy, is it?
Well, we are competing with a
lot of other parties, and a lot

Well, we are competing with a
lot of other parties, and a lot
of the gals are out giving

Lot of other parties, and a lot
of the gals are out giving
blood.

Of the gals are out giving
blood.
Yeah.

Blood.
Yeah.
It's not because you're a temp.

Yeah.
It's not because you're a temp.
Oh, no!

It's not because you're a temp.
Oh, no!
Oh, no.

Oh, no!
Oh, no.
No, not at all.

Oh, no.
No, not at all.
Oh, look, we got you gifts

No, not at all.
Oh, look, we got you gifts
and everything.

Oh, look, we got you gifts
and everything.
Oh!

And everything.
Oh!
It's a big cookie, right?

Oh!
It's a big cookie, right?
Well, open it up and see.

It's a big cookie, right?
Well, open it up and see.
Oh!

Well, open it up and see.
Oh!
It's a "bye" cookie.

Oh!
It's a "bye" cookie.
And it's got musical notes on

It's a "bye" cookie.
And it's got musical notes on
it.

And it's got musical notes on
it.
You sing it like...

It.
You sing it like...
♪ Bye ♪

You sing it like...
♪ Bye ♪
like we do on fridays.

♪ Bye ♪
like we do on fridays.
Yeah!

Like we do on fridays.
Yeah!
Oh, this must have cost you a

Yeah!
Oh, this must have cost you a
fortune.

Oh, this must have cost you a
fortune.
Do you want me to chip in for

Fortune.
Do you want me to chip in for
it?

Do you want me to chip in for
it?
Oh, no.

It?
Oh, no.
Oh, come on.

Oh, no.
Oh, come on.
No.

Oh, come on.
No.
Oh, please.

No.
Oh, please.
Well, if she really wants to.

Oh, please.
Well, if she really wants to.
$.

Well, if she really wants to.
$.
I'll owe it to you.

$.
I'll owe it to you.
Oh, mrs. Ferguson, you came!

I'll owe it to you.
Oh, mrs. Ferguson, you came!
Thank you!

Oh, mrs. Ferguson, you came!
Thank you!
Oh, am I late?

Thank you!
Oh, am I late?
Oh, I just opened the

Oh, am I late?
Oh, I just opened the
present, that's all.

Oh, I just opened the
present, that's all.
Oh, did I miss the big

Present, that's all.
Oh, did I miss the big
cookie?

Oh, did I miss the big
cookie?
I did so want to be here for the

Cookie?
I did so want to be here for the
big cookie.

I did so want to be here for the
big cookie.
It's great, I love it.

Big cookie.
It's great, I love it.
Thank you.

It's great, I love it.
Thank you.
Well, where the hell is

Thank you.
Well, where the hell is
everyone, kathy?

Well, where the hell is
everyone, kathy?
This is supposed to be a party.

Everyone, kathy?
This is supposed to be a party.
Well, we are competing with a

This is supposed to be a party.
Well, we are competing with a
lot of other parties.

Well, we are competing with a
lot of other parties.
And some of the girls are

Lot of other parties.
And some of the girls are
giving blood, yes.

And some of the girls are
giving blood, yes.
Okay, well, give me a second,

Giving blood, yes.
Okay, well, give me a second,
I'll get some people up here.

Okay, well, give me a second,
I'll get some people up here.
Hello, security, would you come

I'll get some people up here.
Hello, security, would you come
up to the third floor, please?

Hello, security, would you come
up to the third floor, please?
Thank you.

Up to the third floor, please?
Thank you.
Oh, mrs. Ferguson, you didn't

Thank you.
Oh, mrs. Ferguson, you didn't
have to do that.

Oh, mrs. Ferguson, you didn't
have to do that.
That's okay.

Have to do that.
That's okay.
And may I take this

That's okay.
And may I take this
opportunity to say what a

And may I take this
opportunity to say what a
pleasure it has been to work for

Pleasure it has been to work for
you?
Oh, well, thank you, tanya,

You?
Oh, well, thank you, tanya,
and on behalf of a.t. & Love,

Oh, well, thank you, tanya,
and on behalf of a.t. & Love,
I'd like to say that you were a,

And on behalf of a.t. & Love,
I'd like to say that you were a,
uh, well-thought-of member of

I'd like to say that you were a,
uh, well-thought-of member of
the staff, and that in the

Uh, well-thought-of member of
the staff, and that in the
future, should any of the other

The staff, and that in the
future, should any of the other
girls take leave, we would

Future, should any of the other
girls take leave, we would
certainly consider the

Girls take leave, we would
certainly consider the
possibility of perhaps taking

Certainly consider the
possibility of perhaps taking
you back on a purely temporary

Possibility of perhaps taking
you back on a purely temporary
basis.

You back on a purely temporary
basis.
Yes.

Basis.
Yes.
That's great.

Yes.
That's great.
Speech!

That's great.
Speech!
[ Giggling ]

Speech!
[ Giggling ]
okay, um, I don't know if you

[ Giggling ]
okay, um, I don't know if you
know how hard it is for me to

Okay, um, I don't know if you
know how hard it is for me to
leave this job.

Know how hard it is for me to
leave this job.
It seems sometimes all my life

Leave this job.
It seems sometimes all my life
has been one big temp.

It seems sometimes all my life
has been one big temp.
I mean, I was raised on a

Has been one big temp.
I mean, I was raised on a
houseboat, and now I live in a

I mean, I was raised on a
houseboat, and now I live in a
sublet, and I'm seeing a married

Houseboat, and now I live in a
sublet, and I'm seeing a married
man.

Sublet, and I'm seeing a married
man.
My dad's on a respirator.

Man.
My dad's on a respirator.
Aw.

My dad's on a respirator.
Aw.
You people have been...

Aw.
You people have been...
[ Horn honking ]

You people have been...
[ Horn honking ]
ride's here -- got to go.

[ Horn honking ]
ride's here -- got to go.
Oh, goodbye, mrs. Ferguson.

Ride's here -- got to go.
Oh, goodbye, mrs. Ferguson.
Goodbye, tanya.

Oh, goodbye, mrs. Ferguson.
Goodbye, tanya.
Well, what do you gals want

Goodbye, tanya.
Well, what do you gals want
to do?

Well, what do you gals want
to do?
Do you want to go out drinking

To do?
Do you want to go out drinking
or go crazy or something?

Do you want to go out drinking
or go crazy or something?
I can't.

Or go crazy or something?
I can't.
I have to go before I start

I can't.
I have to go before I start
crying.

I have to go before I start
crying.
Yeah, me too.

Crying.
Yeah, me too.
[ Moaning ]

Yeah, me too.
[ Moaning ]
okay.

[ Moaning ]
okay.
Well, goodbye, cathy with a "c."

Okay.
Well, goodbye, cathy with a "c."
Goodbye, tanya.

Well, goodbye, cathy with a "c."
Goodbye, tanya.
Goodbye, kathy with a "k."

Goodbye, tanya.
Goodbye, kathy with a "k."
Bye-bye, tanya!

Goodbye, kathy with a "k."
Bye-bye, tanya!
I'm sorry I ate so much of your

Bye-bye, tanya!
I'm sorry I ate so much of your
cookie.

I'm sorry I ate so much of your
cookie.
Oh -- oh, it's okay.

Cookie.
Oh -- oh, it's okay.
You can make it up to me, huh?

Oh -- oh, it's okay.
You can make it up to me, huh?
Yeah, I'll buy you

You can make it up to me, huh?
Yeah, I'll buy you
lunch...soon.

Yeah, I'll buy you
lunch...soon.
Yeah, lunch...soon.

Lunch...soon.
Yeah, lunch...soon.
Soon.

Yeah, lunch...soon.
Soon.
Bye!

Soon.
Bye!
Bye!

Bye!
Bye!
Hey, bye!

Bye!
Hey, bye!
[ Chuckles ]

Hey, bye!
[ Chuckles ]
someone call security?

[ Chuckles ]
someone call security?
Oh, yeah, mrs. Ferguson did.

Someone call security?
Oh, yeah, mrs. Ferguson did.
It's my last day.

Oh, yeah, mrs. Ferguson did.
It's my last day.
Oh, would you mind opening

It's my last day.
Oh, would you mind opening
your purse, please, ma'am?

Oh, would you mind opening
your purse, please, ma'am?
I will not.

Your purse, please, ma'am?
I will not.
Oh, now, now, now...

I will not.
Oh, now, now, now...
Ma'am, you are in possession

Oh, now, now, now...
Ma'am, you are in possession
of stolen goods.

Ma'am, you are in possession
of stolen goods.
I have no idea how that got

Of stolen goods.
I have no idea how that got
in there.

I have no idea how that got
in there.
I believe you've been warned

In there.
I believe you've been warned
twice.

I believe you've been warned
twice.
Once.

Twice.
Once.
Twice.

Once.
Twice.
No, only once.

Twice.
No, only once.
Twice.

No, only once.
Twice.
Bye!

Twice.
Bye!
[ Screaming ]

Bye!
[ Screaming ]
I got a temp down on .

And now bruce mcculloch with

And now bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the guy who

And now bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the guy who
stole his bike wheel.

Well, why did you do it?

Well, why did you do it?
Are you some sort of jerk or

Well, why did you do it?
Are you some sort of jerk or
something?

Are you some sort of jerk or
something?
It's my front wheel.

Something?
It's my front wheel.
What'd you think, that I'd drive

It's my front wheel.
What'd you think, that I'd drive
home and not notice it was

What'd you think, that I'd drive
home and not notice it was
stolen?

Home and not notice it was
stolen?
What are you, then, some sort of

Stolen?
What are you, then, some sort of
prick?

What are you, then, some sort of
prick?
Some sort of idiot?

Prick?
Some sort of idiot?
Some sort of thief?

Some sort of idiot?
Some sort of thief?
What would you do with just my

Some sort of thief?
What would you do with just my
front wheel anyway?

What would you do with just my
front wheel anyway?
What good would just one wheel

Front wheel anyway?
What good would just one wheel
be?

What good would just one wheel
be?
You human loser.

Be?
You human loser.
Why didn't you buy your own

You human loser.
Why didn't you buy your own
wheel if you wanted one so

Why didn't you buy your own
wheel if you wanted one so
badly?

Wheel if you wanted one so
badly?
That's what I did.

Badly?
That's what I did.
Well, don't you think I need

That's what I did.
Well, don't you think I need
that wheel?

Well, don't you think I need
that wheel?
Well, what were you thinking?

That wheel?
Well, what were you thinking?
Jerk.

Well, what were you thinking?
Jerk.
That was bruce mcculloch with

Jerk.
That was bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the guy that

That was bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the guy that
stole his bike wheel.

[ Glass shatters ]

[ Glass shatters ]
[ screaming ]

[ Glass shatters ]
[ screaming ]
[ tires screeching ]

[ Screaming ]
[ tires screeching ]
[ siren wailing ]

[ Rustling ]

[ Rustling ]
mouse.

[ Squeaking ]

[ Squeaking ]
[ gasps ]

[ Squeaking ]
[ gasps ]
[ squeaking ]

Dumb move, mouse.

Dumb move, mouse.
♪ Now I know where you live ♪

Dumb move, mouse.
♪ Now I know where you live ♪
♪ now I know where you live ♪

♪ Now I know where you live ♪
♪ now I know where you live ♪
[ squeaking ]

[ Screams ]

Tucker, you look like crap,

Tucker, you look like crap,
man.

Tucker, you look like crap,
man.
There's this mouse in my

Man.
There's this mouse in my
apartment.

There's this mouse in my
apartment.
Won't let me sleep.

Apartment.
Won't let me sleep.
It ate my bread.

Won't let me sleep.
It ate my bread.
It pooped in my bread.

It ate my bread.
It pooped in my bread.
My aunt had a mouse once.

It pooped in my bread.
My aunt had a mouse once.
Funny little guy, you know,

My aunt had a mouse once.
Funny little guy, you know,
little spot in his head.

Funny little guy, you know,
little spot in his head.
Little tiny feet used to

Little spot in his head.
Little tiny feet used to
pitter-patter around...

Little tiny feet used to
pitter-patter around...
[ Imitates pitter-pattering ]

Pitter-patter around...
[ Imitates pitter-pattering ]
this weird squeak...

[ Imitates pitter-pattering ]
this weird squeak...
Squeak!

This weird squeak...
Squeak!
Hey.

Squeak!
Hey.
You're okay.

Hey.
You're okay.
Yeah.

You're okay.
Yeah.
Yeah.

Yeah.
Yeah.
[ Bell ringing ]

Yeah.
[ Bell ringing ]
all right, tuck, back to work.

[ Bell ringing ]
all right, tuck, back to work.
There you go, kid.

All right, tuck, back to work.
There you go, kid.
Hit the mouse with the cheese.

There you go, kid.
Hit the mouse with the cheese.
All right, kids, are you ready?

Hit the mouse with the cheese.
All right, kids, are you ready?
Yeah!

All right, kids, are you ready?
Yeah!
Hi, kids.

Yeah!
Hi, kids.
Hi, kids.

Hi, kids.
Hi, kids.
I'm hungry for cheese, but you

Hi, kids.
I'm hungry for cheese, but you
can't hit me.

I'm hungry for cheese, but you
can't hit me.
[ Laughs ]

Can't hit me.
[ Laughs ]
[ shouting ]

[ Laughs ]
[ shouting ]
yes!

[ Shouting ]
yes!
[ Buzzer sounds ]

Okay, so which way's the

Okay, so which way's the
lever go?

Okay, so which way's the
lever go?
And where's the cheese go?

Lever go?
And where's the cheese go?
Well, which side?

And where's the cheese go?
Well, which side?
Okay, i...

Well, which side?
Okay, i...
Aah!

Okay, i...
Aah!
[ Imitates expl*si*n ]

Now I wait.

You!

You!
[ Slurring ] I'm hammered.

You!
[ Slurring ] I'm hammered.
[ Imitates g*nsh*t ]

[ Slurring ] I'm hammered.
[ Imitates g*nsh*t ]
[ thudding ]

[ Imitates g*nsh*t ]
[ thudding ]
[ snoring ]

[ Thudding ]
[ snoring ]
[ squeaking ]

[ Snoring ]
[ squeaking ]
[ snapping ]

[ Squeaking ]
[ snapping ]
ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[ Snapping ]
ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Ha ha!

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ siren wails ]

[ Camera shutter clicks ]
[ siren wails ]
come on, man.

[ Siren wails ]
come on, man.
I didn't do nothing wrong.

Come on, man.
I didn't do nothing wrong.
I'm the victim.

I didn't do nothing wrong.
I'm the victim.
I didn't do nothing.

I'm the victim.
I didn't do nothing.
Just a mouse.

I didn't do nothing.
Just a mouse.
Get him outta here.

Just a mouse.
Get him outta here.
But I just --

Get him outta here.
But I just --
no!

But I just --
no!
No!

And now bruce mcculloch with

And now bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the people who

And now bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the people who
watched the guy steal his bike

An open letter to the people who
watched the guy steal his bike
wheel.

Watched the guy steal his bike
wheel.
Well, you knew it wasn't his

Wheel.
Well, you knew it wasn't his
wheel.

Well, you knew it wasn't his
wheel.
What did you think, he was

Wheel.
What did you think, he was
coming back for the rest of his

What did you think, he was
coming back for the rest of his
bike later?

Coming back for the rest of his
bike later?
Well, why didn't you do

Bike later?
Well, why didn't you do
somethin'?

Well, why didn't you do
somethin'?
Why didn't you say somethin',

Somethin'?
Why didn't you say somethin',
you human piece of apathy?

Why didn't you say somethin',
you human piece of apathy?
Why didn't you say, "hey, that's

You human piece of apathy?
Why didn't you say, "hey, that's
not your wheel!

Why didn't you say, "hey, that's
not your wheel!
That could be bruce mcculloch's

Not your wheel!
That could be bruce mcculloch's
wheel!

That could be bruce mcculloch's
wheel!
We love him!

Wheel!
We love him!
And he loved that wheel."

We love him!
And he loved that wheel."
Just eating brunch.

And he loved that wheel."
Just eating brunch.
Well, didn't you think I needed

Just eating brunch.
Well, didn't you think I needed
it?

Well, didn't you think I needed
it?
I did.

It?
I did.
Well, look at that!

I did.
Well, look at that!
Feast on that act of v*olence!

Well, look at that!
Feast on that act of v*olence!
Good work, einstein.

Feast on that act of v*olence!
Good work, einstein.
Pus!

Good work, einstein.
Pus!
That was bruce mcculloch with

Pus!
That was bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the people who

That was bruce mcculloch with
an open letter to the people who
watched while the guy stole his

An open letter to the people who
watched while the guy stole his
bike wheel.

All right, I'm gonna cut

All right, I'm gonna cut
right to the legal chase.

All right, I'm gonna cut
right to the legal chase.
Did you k*ll henry tilsen?

Right to the legal chase.
Did you k*ll henry tilsen?
No.

Did you k*ll henry tilsen?
No.
This is so easy!

No.
This is so easy!
[ Laughs ]

This is so easy!
[ Laughs ]
[ laughing ]

[ Laughs ]
[ laughing ]
[ gavel pounding ]

[ Laughing ]
[ gavel pounding ]
mr. Fearson, the court would

[ Gavel pounding ]
mr. Fearson, the court would
like to advise you one last

Mr. Fearson, the court would
like to advise you one last
time to retain legal counsel.

Like to advise you one last
time to retain legal counsel.
Uh, that's okay, your honor.

Time to retain legal counsel.
Uh, that's okay, your honor.
I'm doing fine.

Uh, that's okay, your honor.
I'm doing fine.
And besides, with the money that

I'm doing fine.
And besides, with the money that
I'm saving on legal fees, I'll

And besides, with the money that
I'm saving on legal fees, I'll
be able to afford to buy

I'm saving on legal fees, I'll
be able to afford to buy
a really great secondhand car.

Be able to afford to buy
a really great secondhand car.
[ Chuckles ]

A really great secondhand car.
[ Chuckles ]
the court can appoint

[ Chuckles ]
the court can appoint
representation free of charge.

The court can appoint
representation free of charge.
Oh, a free lawyer, your

Representation free of charge.
Oh, a free lawyer, your
honor?

Oh, a free lawyer, your
honor?
No, thanks.

Honor?
No, thanks.
What kind of lawyer do you get

No, thanks.
What kind of lawyer do you get
for free -- some guy with a head

What kind of lawyer do you get
for free -- some guy with a head
injury that can't even find his

For free -- some guy with a head
injury that can't even find his
own briefcase?

Injury that can't even find his
own briefcase?
[ Laughs ]

Own briefcase?
[ Laughs ]
I'm doing fine. Watch.

[ Laughs ]
I'm doing fine. Watch.
Go ahead.

I'm doing fine. Watch.
Go ahead.
Go ahead, ask me again.

Go ahead.
Go ahead, ask me again.
Come on.

Go ahead, ask me again.
Come on.
Did you k*ll henry tilsen?

Come on.
Did you k*ll henry tilsen?
No.

Did you k*ll henry tilsen?
No.
[ Laughs ]

No.
[ Laughs ]
your honor, I'd like to

[ Laughs ]
your honor, I'd like to
present exhibit "a."

Your honor, I'd like to
present exhibit "a."
Is this your g*n?

Present exhibit "a."
Is this your g*n?
No.

Is this your g*n?
No.
Yes, it is.

No.
Yes, it is.
No, it isn't.

Yes, it is.
No, it isn't.
We have your name on the

No, it isn't.
We have your name on the
registration.

We have your name on the
registration.
No, you don't.

Registration.
No, you don't.
May I remind you that you are

No, you don't.
May I remind you that you are
under oath?

May I remind you that you are
under oath?
Oh, right, and I would never

Under oath?
Oh, right, and I would never
lie under oath, not to god.

Oh, right, and I would never
lie under oath, not to god.
[ Laughs ]

Lie under oath, not to god.
[ Laughs ]
hey, hey, your honor, could

[ Laughs ]
hey, hey, your honor, could
we hurry this up a little bit,

Hey, hey, your honor, could
we hurry this up a little bit,
right?

We hurry this up a little bit,
right?
'Cause the defendant and I got

Right?
'Cause the defendant and I got
a date later with some ladies.

'Cause the defendant and I got
a date later with some ladies.
Who are you?

A date later with some ladies.
Who are you?
Just a dude...

Who are you?
Just a dude...
Whose taxes pay your salary!

Just a dude...
Whose taxes pay your salary!
Will the dude sit down and be

Whose taxes pay your salary!
Will the dude sit down and be
quiet?

Will the dude sit down and be
quiet?
Or the dude will be taken out of

Quiet?
Or the dude will be taken out of
this court!

Or the dude will be taken out of
this court!
Your honor, what tie do you

This court!
Your honor, what tie do you
think the ladies would prefer --

Your honor, what tie do you
think the ladies would prefer --
this pink one or the gray one?

Think the ladies would prefer --
this pink one or the gray one?
Well, I'd have to see the

This pink one or the gray one?
Well, I'd have to see the
jacket -- ohh!

Well, I'd have to see the
jacket -- ohh!
Will the prosecution continue

Jacket -- ohh!
Will the prosecution continue
with its case?!

Will the prosecution continue
with its case?!
I'd like to call

With its case?!
I'd like to call
mitchell moore to the stand!

I'd like to call
mitchell moore to the stand!
Boo! [ Laughs ]

Mitchell moore to the stand!
Boo! [ Laughs ]
mr. Moore, may I remind you,

Boo! [ Laughs ]
mr. Moore, may I remind you,
you're still under oath.

Mr. Moore, may I remind you,
you're still under oath.
Mr. Moore, what exactly did

You're still under oath.
Mr. Moore, what exactly did
you see on the night of

Mr. Moore, what exactly did
you see on the night of
february , ?

You see on the night of
february , ?
I saw this man coming out of

February , ?
I saw this man coming out of
the deceased's apartment with

I saw this man coming out of
the deceased's apartment with
blood on his shirt and holding

The deceased's apartment with
blood on his shirt and holding
a g*n, followed by that guy, who

Blood on his shirt and holding
a g*n, followed by that guy, who
was giggling.

A g*n, followed by that guy, who
was giggling.
No more questions, your

Was giggling.
No more questions, your
honor.

No more questions, your
honor.
I have some questions, your

Honor.
I have some questions, your
honor.

I have some questions, your
honor.
Mr. Moore, aren't you lying?

Honor.
Mr. Moore, aren't you lying?
No.

Mr. Moore, aren't you lying?
No.
In fact, aren't you a liar?

No.
In fact, aren't you a liar?
No more questions, your honor.

In fact, aren't you a liar?
No more questions, your honor.
Mr. Moore, you may step down.

No more questions, your honor.
Mr. Moore, you may step down.
If there are no more questions,

Mr. Moore, you may step down.
If there are no more questions,
we will continue with the

If there are no more questions,
we will continue with the
summations.

We will continue with the
summations.
You know my summation, your

Summations.
You know my summation, your
honor.

You know my summation, your
honor.
That he's guilty, yes.

Honor.
That he's guilty, yes.
Yes, he's very guilty.

That he's guilty, yes.
Yes, he's very guilty.
Ladies and gentlemen of the

Yes, he's very guilty.
Ladies and gentlemen of the
jury, it is not a difficult

Ladies and gentlemen of the
jury, it is not a difficult
thing to accuse someone of

Jury, it is not a difficult
thing to accuse someone of
m*rder.

Thing to accuse someone of
m*rder.
You don't have to be a genius

m*rder.
You don't have to be a genius
like...that relativity guy.

You don't have to be a genius
like...that relativity guy.
All you have to do is say, "hey,

Like...that relativity guy.
All you have to do is say, "hey,
I think that this guy did it,"

All you have to do is say, "hey,
I think that this guy did it,"
or "that lady there did it," or

I think that this guy did it,"
or "that lady there did it," or
I could say that my friend did

Or "that lady there did it," or
I could say that my friend did
it.

I could say that my friend did
it.
But he didn't.

It.
But he didn't.
And even if he did, I wasn't

But he didn't.
And even if he did, I wasn't
involved, right?

And even if he did, I wasn't
involved, right?
Okay, but you know who I really

Involved, right?
Okay, but you know who I really
suspect?

Okay, but you know who I really
suspect?
You know what I think?

Suspect?
You know what I think?
I'm really suspicious of...

You know what I think?
I'm really suspicious of...
The prosecuting attorney!

I'm really suspicious of...
The prosecuting attorney!
What?

The prosecuting attorney!
What?
Yeah. I mean, think about it.

What?
Yeah. I mean, think about it.
Why else would he be so obsessed

Yeah. I mean, think about it.
Why else would he be so obsessed
with proving that I did it?

Why else would he be so obsessed
with proving that I did it?
Huh?

With proving that I did it?
Huh?
And I don't blame him.

Huh?
And I don't blame him.
If I was in his murderous shoes,

And I don't blame him.
If I was in his murderous shoes,
I would do the exact same thing.

If I was in his murderous shoes,
I would do the exact same thing.
I'd get a lot of evidence and

I would do the exact same thing.
I'd get a lot of evidence and
witnesses, and I would try to

I'd get a lot of evidence and
witnesses, and I would try to
pin it on some decent,

Witnesses, and I would try to
pin it on some decent,
hardworking, honest guy.

Pin it on some decent,
hardworking, honest guy.
Is it all right if we find

Hardworking, honest guy.
Is it all right if we find
the defendant guilty now?

Is it all right if we find
the defendant guilty now?
It's done.

The defendant guilty now?
It's done.
The court finds you guilty and

It's done.
The court finds you guilty and
sentences you to death by

The court finds you guilty and
sentences you to death by
hanging, but first, the whores!

Sentences you to death by
hanging, but first, the whores!
[ Rock music plays ]

All right! You won! You won!

All right! You won! You won!
No, I'm hanging!

All right! You won! You won!
No, I'm hanging!
Hey, man, how's it going?

No, I'm hanging!
Hey, man, how's it going?
Pretty good. Hi, guys.

Hey, man, how's it going?
Pretty good. Hi, guys.
Great show.

Pretty good. Hi, guys.
Great show.
Hey, you liked it, did you?

Great show.
Hey, you liked it, did you?
Yeah, yeah?

Hey, you liked it, did you?
Yeah, yeah?
Did it appeal to your youthful

Yeah, yeah?
Did it appeal to your youthful
sensibilities?

Did it appeal to your youthful
sensibilities?
Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sensibilities?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's funny.

Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's funny.
Except for the f*g parts.

It's funny.
Except for the f*g parts.
f*g parts.

Except for the f*g parts.
f*g parts.
The f*g parts.

f*g parts.
The f*g parts.
The f*g parts, yeah.

The f*g parts.
The f*g parts, yeah.
Well, about that, you see, we're

The f*g parts, yeah.
Well, about that, you see, we're
under an awful lot of pressure

Well, about that, you see, we're
under an awful lot of pressure
from the cbc to include at least

Under an awful lot of pressure
from the cbc to include at least
% h*m* content.

From the cbc to include at least
% h*m* content.
So that's that, you know?

% h*m* content.
So that's that, you know?
Yeah.

So that's that, you know?
Yeah.
Hey, listen, man, do you --

Yeah.
Hey, listen, man, do you --
do you think you could do us

Hey, listen, man, do you --
do you think you could do us
a favor?

Do you think you could do us
a favor?
A favor? An autograph?

A favor?
A favor? An autograph?
Sure, I'll get a pen.

A favor? An autograph?
Sure, I'll get a pen.
No, uh, could you buy us some

Sure, I'll get a pen.
No, uh, could you buy us some
beer?

No, uh, could you buy us some
beer?
Buy you some beer?

Beer?
Buy you some beer?
Well, we're of age, we just

Buy you some beer?
Well, we're of age, we just
don't have our i.d.s on us.

Well, we're of age, we just
don't have our i.d.s on us.
We gotta go all the way home,

Don't have our i.d.s on us.
We gotta go all the way home,
and, uh...

We gotta go all the way home,
and, uh...
Home, yeah.

And, uh...
Home, yeah.
So, uh, so you're both ?

Home, yeah.
So, uh, so you're both ?
No, uh, actually we're .

So, uh, so you're both ?
No, uh, actually we're .
Yeah, we just look kind of

No, uh, actually we're .
Yeah, we just look kind of
young for our age, just like

Yeah, we just look kind of
young for our age, just like
you.

Young for our age, just like
you.
Just like you.

You.
Just like you.
Just like me?

Just like you.
Just like me?
Just like you.

Just like me?
Just like you.
Just like me.

Just like you.
Just like me.
Wow.

Just like me.
Wow.
What a moral dilemma.

Wow.
What a moral dilemma.
As a celebrity, I'm a role model

What a moral dilemma.
As a celebrity, I'm a role model
to these children.

As a celebrity, I'm a role model
to these children.
If I buy them beer, what am I

To these children.
If I buy them beer, what am I
saying to them, to their

If I buy them beer, what am I
saying to them, to their
parents, to the viewing

Saying to them, to their
parents, to the viewing
audience?

Parents, to the viewing
audience?
Granted, I know when I was young

Audience?
Granted, I know when I was young
and I used to hang out outside

Granted, I know when I was young
and I used to hang out outside
beer stores, and I'd get

And I used to hang out outside
beer stores, and I'd get
a grown-up to buy me beer, for

Beer stores, and I'd get
a grown-up to buy me beer, for
a brief second, I thought adults

A grown-up to buy me beer, for
a brief second, I thought adults
were okay.

A brief second, I thought adults
were okay.
Now, if I wasn't an hbo/cbc

Were okay.
Now, if I wasn't an hbo/cbc
star, I'd buy it, no problem.

Now, if I wasn't an hbo/cbc
star, I'd buy it, no problem.
But you know how it is.

Star, I'd buy it, no problem.
But you know how it is.
What am I doing?

But you know how it is.
What am I doing?
Of course I'll buy them beer!

What am I doing?
Of course I'll buy them beer!
I'm cool! I'm hip! Sure!

Of course I'll buy them beer!
I'm cool! I'm hip! Sure!
Hey, guys...

I'm cool! I'm hip! Sure!
Hey, guys...
Thanks a lot, man.

Hey, guys...
Thanks a lot, man.
You are the greatest.

Thanks a lot, man.
You are the greatest.
Saturday, right?

You are the greatest.
Saturday, right?
Yeah, well, I'll try.

Saturday, right?
Yeah, well, I'll try.
You know, I'm busy, eh?

Yeah, well, I'll try.
You know, I'm busy, eh?
Hey, scott.

You know, I'm busy, eh?
Hey, scott.
I'm telling!

Hey, scott.
I'm telling!
Yvonne!

I'm telling!
Yvonne!
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy

Yvonne!
[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average

[ Shadowy men on a shadowy
planet's "having an average
weekend" plays ]