01x01 - Pilot

Episode transcripts for the TV series, "I Woke Up a Vampire". Aired: October 17,2023 - present.*
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On her 13th birthday, Carmie discovers that she's actually half human, half vampire and that mythical powers make middle school way more complicated.
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01x01 - Pilot

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[voice] Vampling.

[rumbling]

Vampling.

- [voice in dream] Vampling.
- [shouts]

Ooh.

Just a bad dream, Mr. Rutabaga.

Gotta lay off
three-spice pizzas.

Happy Birthday.

Day ,
of my unremarkable life.

[dog] Wait for it.

Rainey?

Rainey?

[screams]

[Rainey] Whoa!

The first time's
always the best.

- Ha-ha.
- [mother] Honey? Time to get up.

The school musical auditions
are today.

Ah-ha. Humans.
[sneezes]

[exhales sharply]



[pants]

[ball rattles]

Three, two, go time.

- [boy] Here we go.
- [beeping]

[coughs]

Brah, smoke b*mb? Cruel.

My wings don't work
with smoke on them.

Well, that's how you catch
a Hugar.

You're gonna hunt every Blended
who wants to live as a human?

Yes.

- [grunts]
- [chain rattles]

Argh. Argh!

Mythics, Blendeds
whatever.

Whoa. Hey. What are you doing?

Yep.

Man what, are you, like, ?

Go be an influencer
like every other kid your age.

Please. The world is bigger than
your phone.

Besides, I come from
a long line of hunters.

It's what I was born to do.
Capture and dispose of monsters.

Ever think of breaking
the cycle?

Huh? What do you think?

- [cackles]
- You could be a hero.

Don't do it, man. Whoa.

[boy] It must have been
the three-spice pizza.

Last time I had one,
I dreamt I was trapped

in a washing machine
on spin cycle.

[girl] Rainey talking? Talking!

No way, no how. No dream.

I woke up floating above my bed.

Maybe I can fly.

Sick. And come here.
Check this out.

[camera clicks]

Nah. You're messing with me.
That's obvs a filter.

Argh. It was real!

[boy] Whoa, Carmie.

See?

That is what I'm talking about.

Maybe I'm a superhero.

The first one without
a tragic origin story.

Carmie, don't touch anything.
Don't kick anything.

You can't be seen.

No. I want to be seen.

Girl power. Tween excellence.

Adopted kids
make the world spin.

I have superpowers.

Leanna is going to be so jelly.

I'm gonna, like,
crush this audition.

And I'm maybe just going to,
like, float right over her.

There's no floating.

There's no anything

until we figure out
what happened to you.

Well, maybe what happened to me

was so that
I can finally have a thing.

Superpowers.

You're not getting it.

If you've been given powers,

you've also been given enemies.

It's how it works.

A voice in my dream
did keep saying, "Vampling."

"Vampling"?

What does that mean?
What does that mean?

♪ They're trying to ride my wave
Got 'em coasting ♪


♪ Can't be stopped
I'm in motion ♪


♪ Home room breaking out
With my crew in Cancun ♪


♪ You ain't got to hate
You could get this way, too ♪


♪ They trying to ride my wave
Got 'em coasting ♪


[girl] Carmela?
Yay! Audition day.

- [shoe squeaks]
- Whoop! [thuds]

[gasps]
Who spilt water on the floor?

People, please.
A little courtesy.

It's gonna be hazardous dancing
next to her.

As friends, Carmela, I...

Uh, she hates that name.

Carm, Carmie? All good.
Never Carmela.

I won't remember that.

You are, like, so brave
to even audition. Like, why?

Wardrobe, makeup, an audience
staring at me for minutes.

It'll be fun.

Fun?

Really?

I've been practising for months.

Mm-hmm. Carmela, I've trained
my entire life for this moment.

Not a bit of it was fun.

Acting, voice and dance lessons
since I was five.

I won Miss Kramposki's
Deli Queen pageant

three years in a row.

Well, I can do
all the TikTok dances.

The first parts

kinda.
[laughs]

I was chosen
most likely to succeed

at my kindergarten graduation.

Wow. That's a lot of pressure
to live up to.

Never, ever speak to me again.

Good luck. Kidding. Not kidding.

[school bell rings]

♪ They trying to ride my wave
Got 'em coasting ♪


- You sure about this?
- Yes. This is my moment.

[chair legs scrape on floor]

Hi. I'm Kev.

Let's see what we have.

- Okay. Let's go.
- [dance music plays]

[Leanna] Don't try to follow me.

[teacher] Five, six, seven,
eight.

Ugh.

[Leanna] Excuse me.

[music stops]

First cut. Back line.

- Thank you.
- [boy] Argh.

Eee-ooh!

[music resumes]

And six, seven, eight.

[Leanna]
Carmela, get behind me.

Whoo! Ugh. [thuds]

[music stops]

Who pushed me?

- [shouts]
- She's clumsy.

Ever since she was a kid.

[teacher] Okay. Final cut.

Let's see who has what it takes
to be in this show.

Whee! Woo!

- It's all good. Let's go.
- [music resumes]

Let's go and see
who makes the show.



[squeals]

[props and set clatters]

[they gasp]

- [zapping]
- [dancers shout]

[zapping]



Honestly,
what were you thinking?

Mrs. Johnson, if adults knew
that % of the time

the answer to that question is

"I wasn't thinking,"
would they keep asking?

I'm not playing this game
with you, Carmie.

Not even on your birthday.

Vice-Principal Chase
will be with you shortly.

- We gotta go. I think I know...
- Mr. Gardner?

Kev. Just Kev.

What are you doing here?

Hoping to prevent
catastrophic events

from occurring to my friend,

the school, the world.

That's nice, but you're going
to do it out of this office.

Good day.

Now, Kev!

Hmm.

People always talk about nature
versus nurture

and which one dominates.

What no one ever talks about is
what happens when

the natural order mixes with
the unnatural order.

That would be something
to talk about.

When you said unnatural,
did you mean supernatural?

No idea.

Things go into my brain
and immediately exit my mouth.

Most people say it's weird.
I say it's a gift.

So, you weren't talking to
that kid?

I wasn't not talking to him.
[chuckles]

The name's Madison.
Happy Birthday.

How did you know
it was my birthday?

Miss Henley?

Ooh. [thuds]

I'm okay.

New shoes.

This isn't over.

[Chase] Now, Miss Henley.

[exhales sharply]

Carmie.

I didn't do anything, okay?
They were the ones who act...

Mmm.

They say you pushed Leanna
off the stage.

[Carmie] Can we just call it

circumstances
outside of my control?

I'm sure they were.

Regardless,
I need to put on a musical.

[Carmie] Musical.

Yeah, yeah. Let's get into it.

Do some, what do they called?
Rehearsals.

Bring in the audience
and I'll own it.

Whatever "it" is. What is "it"?
[chuckles]

You and Leanna
clearly don't get along,

and that is a problem
that I don't want to deal with.

Well, we're on the same page,
and I

Especially because she is
a trained singer and dancer.

And you, while enthusiastic,
are not trained.

Oh, I'm trained. Yeah.

Tap, jazz, hip-hop.

I've been studying YouTube.
Yeah, for months.

I've got this.

Say nothing! Say nothing.

I'm sure you think so,
but I have a decision to make.

Don't worry.
We'll be fine without Leanna.

Not the decision I was thinking.

I'll let you know if you're
going to be a part

of the musical or not.

- Oh, but I can...
- Great. We're done.

- What?
- [Kev] You didn't say anything?

How could I? She was telling me
I might've blown my chance

to be in the musical.

That's not your biggest problem.

Really? Because I want
No. I need to be in it.

What's wrong with one of us,
the outsiders,

slightly uncool kids,
not really talented, succeeding?

Stop. Listen. I remember where
I heard the word "Vampling".

- So, it's a thing? Vampling?
- Yes.

People just don't kick
trash cans across the street.

Adrenalin?

Doesn't explain you
blasting Leanna off the stage,

- you floating, or
- Hormones?

What? I'm . May be possible.

Not possible.

Something in you has changed
and given you these powers.

Like Zendaya?

She doesn't have superpowers.

Really?
Because if you know, you know.

If you don't, you never will.

[Kev] I'm hitting the stacks.

Excellent. Who's your friend?

It's Carmie. You've met her,
like, a hundred times.

But always ignores me.

Maybe, maybe not.

Don't touch the sleeved books.
Only Kev.

He respects the art and he
knows how to deal with tape.

You! Kid!

[alarm blares]

Nice try, but back, back, back.

Back, back. Stop.

Forward. Back Back.

Does this always happen?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Yes. Good.

Good. The comic returned.
That's good.

You? Still not good.

You're banned for life.

[gasps]

Now, be gone!

- [Carmie] I found it.
- Put those down there.

You know these are just comics,
right?

That's what
they want you to think.

Who's "they"?

There's always
a "they" running things.

They have used comic books

to send secret messages
for a century.

- To who?
- To them.

I'm not even going to ask
who "them" are.

- Buck Rogers, .
- Okay.

Why was it that
the first rocket-ship design

- ever came from a comic book?
- I have it.

So they could get the plans
across the country

without anyone knowing.

Do you know about that?
[laughs]

Of course you don't. Nobody does
who doesn't read comics.

Ah. Here we go.

What's a Mythic?

They're legendary monsters
who came before man.

So, I'm a monster?

No. But you could be
a Blended,

the offspring of a Mythic
and a human.

Grab me the magnifying glass.

Uh, super speed. Nice.

I am going to dance circles
around Leanna.

This is the best day of my life!
[squeals]

Carm?

Vampling?

"Vampling:

"the Blended offspring
of a vampire,

and their powers are
super speed," check,

"enhanced strength," check.

"energy blast"

- [chuckles] The best. Check.
- Yep.

- "Fly."
- Fly?

Really? [gasps, thuds]

Ow.

Scratch flying.
We'll put "float."

I can't be a Vampling.
My parents are normal, kinda.

Your bio parents?
What do we even know about them?

My parents adopted me when I was
three months old.

I have no idea.

So, one of your birth parents
could've been a vampire.

That's impossible.

I'd say it's pretty undeniable.

"A Vampling receives their
powers on their th year."

Happy Birthday, by the way.

[sighs] I mean,

I guess I always thought
I was a little different,

but never thought I was a freak.

[phone chimes]

It's my dad. I gotta go.

Carmie?

You're not a freak.
You're my best friend.

- [door closes]
- [chuckles]

[comic store owner]
So, you just moved to town?

You always ask
so many questions?

- I just asked one.
- That's a lot.

Okay.
Show me what you think you have.

Maybe.

Is communicating
a difficult thing for you?

Is that another question?

Yes. No. Maybe. I
That wasn't a question.

[clears throat]
I heard you are

the best at what I do.

Hey, kiddo.
You got to answer your texts.

I know. Sorry.
I'm just distracted.

Ah. Well, you want me
to pick you up?

I mean,
your birthday tacos are here,

and they are a-taco-ing.

No. I'm good. See you soon.

[eerie voice whispering]

[voice] Vampling. Vampling!

Nature-versus-nurture girl.
What up?

Sorry. I didn't see you.
I thought someone or something

was following me, but maybe not.
I don't even know.

Sometimes I think people are
following me when they're not,

and then, sometimes, people are
following me

when I think they're not.
So, I don't know.

- You always talk this fast?
- Yes, I do.

Because life goes fast and you
have no idea

what's going to happen next,
even if "next" is what you want,

which in my life
has never been the case

The name's Madison. Remember?

Sorry. Carmie.
Nice to officially meet you.

My mom and I just moved here.
It's her restaurant back there.

Oh. That must be nice.
You can eat whatever you want.

- No. It doesn't work like that.
- Oh.

Those girls you drenched
at school were pretty upset.

They had a lot to say about you.

It's a long story.

Well,
curious minds want to know.

Have you ever wanted to be
someone special,

not just an outsider looking in?

Well, today,
I had my chance to be special,

and I blew it.

Well,
there's always second chances.

Besides, being an outsider
kind of makes you cooler.

Impossible.

Joan of Arc. Greta Thunberg.
Zendaya.

All outsiders
trailblazing new paths.

[Carmie]
I want to be like all of them.

[Madison chuckles] Exactly.

You get it.

But what if you turned out
to be someone

you never thought you were?

That would be so dope.
I hope I have that problem.

Wait.
What were we talking about?

Listen.
We can't change who we are,

and when you really think
about it, would you want to?

- [tires squeal]
- [shouts]

Did you just

Uh, did you did you just

How?

Uh, adrenalin.

Lots of adrenalin.

But what I think I just saw
isn't possible.

Look. I have to go.

But I mean,
you just saved my life.

- Can we talk about this?
- No.

Yes.

I don't know, okay?
Uh, I can't be late.

And the tacos are a-taco-ing,
so

[gasps] This isn't over!

- [girl ] I would love that.
- [girl ] Okay.

- [girl ] Yeah.
- [indistinct chatter]

That was so sick.

[girls] Oh.

It's my birthday. All good.

- [girls laughing]
- [phone chimes]

Oh. Where am I?

Understudy. Understudy.

Understudy!

I made it kind of.

[squeals]

[shouts]

[phone chimes]

Hmm. Thought I'd gotten rid of
all these.

Kev?

I'll be in my office. Lock up
when you're all finished.

- Got it.
- And, uh, Kev?

- Don't forget your phone.
- [Kev] Oh.

Thank you.

[phone chimes]

You really want to explain to
people why you can fly?

I knew you could talk.

I thought I was hearing things
this morning.

I always could.

Now that you understand me,
check your teeth.

What?

Your fangs. A dead giveaway.

Whoa!

I really am a Vampling!

Pull those beauties in.
Taco time!

You are going to take
a lot of getting used to.

[Rainey] Out of my way!
Out of my way!

There's my birthday girl.

[both] We're hungry.

Carmie, meet Dylan.
He just moved in down the block.

His mom's working tonight,
so I invited him for dinner.

Hey, Dylan.
Welcome to the neighbourhood.

Happy Birthday, Carmie.
Thirteen is a big year.

Yeah.

So, how was the first day
of the rest of your life, honey?

I believe I broke
my unremarkable streak.

Oh. Well, birthday tacos
for the birthday girl. Let's go.

[mother] Mm-hmm. Yes.

Dylan, why don't you sit over
here with us?

[door creaks]

So cute when so tiny.

No way I'm staying in here.

[groans]

You can't keep us
from the humans.

That kid is weird

but he delivers.

So many more to catch.

- [cackles]
- Help!

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