01x03 - Episode 3

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He surrounded himself,

no matter

where he went in the country,

with people that would have

confidence in him

that he did no wrong.

And he did that all over

the country, en masse.

And these were not children,

these were not the vulnerable

people.

These were people

at the head of society.

These were These were people

that ran institutions.

They weren't silly people,

these were supposed

to be educated people.

And he groomed them

quite easily, seemingly.

I personally think that

the charity work he was doing

was totally a cover

for everything he was doing,

um, to give this image

of this wonderful man

that was raising all these

funds for charity,

and I don't think it had anything

to do with his religion at all.

Because you can't commit

a sin on one hand

and pray for forgiveness

on the other,

because it doesn't make

the sin go away.

I feel very angry towards anybody

who enabled Jimmy Savile

..to behave in the way he did,

which was monstrous.

I feel that the people who were

aware

..of his behaviour

..have to hang their heads in shame.

There was no way anyone

was going to believe me.

Um, obviously, being a child,

you know,

you don't have no dealings with

the authorities.

You don't understand,

obviously, how you understand

it as an adult.

But nobody was going to believe me.

Last time we met,

you said something about making

a promise to the Duchess.

Yeah, to honour her memory.

And you seemed to suggest

that you sat with her dead body.

I did. A very happy time!

And then, it wasn't quite clear

when I played the recording back

Don't worry.

I've got a memory like an elephant.

But it

It sounded like you'd said

..you'd "Never do that sh*t again".

What could you have meant?

No idea, cos I never said it.

Your machine wants fettling.

Hello?

You said to call round?

I did, didn't I?

So, here we are. Yeah.

Right, well, I'm a bit, er,

busy at the moment, but

Well, come in for a minute.

I thought it was next week.

Er, right.

Right.

Good heavens.

What a pigsty!

Well, he's not

here that much.

Is this how you leave all

the places you stay?

Not that we ever know

where you stay.

But to turn your mother's

home into a squat?

Quite right, Beryl.

The Duchess might be gone,

but I know she's still up there

looking down

and she would expect the same

standard of behaviour

as when she was alive.

I should think so.

So, why did you want us round?

Er, I get letters every day.

You know, people asking for help.

You know, brain scanners,

hostels for the homeless,

day centres

for the mentally handicapped,

and it's all work I want to do,

but I need help.

What kind of help? Well,

you know, admin, accounts -

all the stuff you're good

at and I'm not.

You know, if you good people

help me organise my life,

then I can spend more time

playing the Good Samaritan,

which I know

is what the Duchess would want.

Well

..if it's for charity,

I suppose we can hardly say no.

Your new specs, Mr Savile.

I'm Susan.

You rang and asked for them

to be brought to your house?

Yes. Yes. I did, er

By me especially, the manager said.

Indeed I did.

So entranced was I, um

..by your charms

when you were in that room

and shone that little

torch into my eyes.

It's called an ophthalmoscope,

Mr Savile. Ophthalmoscope!

Right, I get a little shiver down

my spine just hearing you say that.

And call me Jimmy, Susan.

Erm, anyway

I am all out of milk.

Um, could you nip to the corner

shop?

Just down the road on the right,

then come back and fit the goggles.

Of course.

Good girl.

Er, I'll see you in a bit.

Autograph hunter.

Er, you don't have to

start straight away.

That's good, because we can't.

You'd be my little guardian angels.

I wouldn't go that far.

But if we can help you help others,

Sav, then we will.

Right, great, that's it.

Beryl. Aye.

Take care. Ta-ra.

Well, not quite enough for

a tin bath for us both to bathe in,

but it'll do for a brew.

Enter Jimmy Savile HQ.

Don't mind the mess,

the cleaners have let me down.

The kitchen's the best.

Just through there.

After your mother's death,

far from stopping,

the rumours grew

We're back on rumours again.

..about your behaviour with girls.

What are you doing? Stop!

We're just doing what men and women

do. Are you a virgin? Get off!

It's what I call SOS -

"same old sh*t".

You'll find the door's locked.

The door's locked.

Let me out! I'll tell the police!

No! Sit down!

Gossip.

Balloons full of hot air.

Prick 'em, and there's nowt there.

Which is why I was always

able to make 'em disappear.

Now

That didn't happen.

What?

Whatever you may have thought

just happened

..didn't happen.

Have you heard of Savile's Travels?

Course I have.

Right, well, as it happens,

I'm doing a recording of

one from Leeds today.

And I'd like you to do a little

interview with me,

and then you can go.

But the rumours didn't

go away, did they?

Only in the minds of a few

nay-sayers and killjoys.

I was on an upward trajectory.

Yeah, becoming an increasingly

powerful figure

in broadcasting, which which

Not powerful, not powerful.

Trusted and respected.

Nobody who mattered

believed them rumours.

Otherwise, why would the BBC have

offered me the show I did next?

Here I am in the city of my

birth, talking to the lovely Susan.

Susan, tell me,

what do you do for a job?

Trainee optometrist.

Really?

Brains as well as beauty. I

I wouldn't say that.

And, tell me, what kind of hobbies,

outside work,

what do you enjoy doing?

Well

..I like baking cakes.

One day, you'll make a lovely

wife for some lucky young man.

What's so brilliant is, you can hear

the girl's nervous,

but with that avuncular manner,

you soon win her trust.

No-one doubts Jimmy's got a way

with young people.

Which brings us to the

purpose of this meeting.

Roger and I have been

developing a new show.

Where Top Of The Pops

was aimed at teens,

kids will be the key to this.

Simple premise.

Basically, we ask the public to

write in

asking us to make a wish come true

for either themselves

or someone they know.

It might be a boy wanting

to fly a helicopter,

or a girl wanting to sing a duet

with her favourite pop star

A paraplegic wanting to scale

Ben Nevis in a wheelchair?

Exactly! Exactly! You've got it.

So, our idea would be

to have the presenter sat

there in a special chair

Wave a magic wand?

Got it. So, when do I start?

Well, job's not

necessarily yours, Jimmy.

Do you mind me

asking who else is in the running?

Um,

Monty Modlyn.

Dear old Monty! And he's

very interested in the job

and he's already suggested

a super title, Monty'll Fix It.

Perfect,

if it was being presented

by Field Marshall Viscount

Montgomery of Alamein!

Jimmy'll Fix It

does have quite a ring, too.

Still wrong!

What would you suggest?

Jim'll Fix It.

One syllable shorter, much catchier.

Jim'll Fix It. You're right.

Jim sounds

like your favourite uncle.

You don't have any kids, do you?

I don't, because where there are

kids, there's usually a wife

and where there's a wife,

there's strife.

But you do like children?

Love 'em. Love 'em,

if I can give 'em a squeeze

and hand 'em back.

Don't forget, though, in my various

voluntary roles,

I've brought a great deal of

sunshine into the lives of children.

Indeed, indeed

Give us a minute, will you, Roger?

Look, I've no doubt you're the best

man for the job, Jimmy.

I have no doubt either, King Billy.

Given that my success is the reason

your sitting in that chair,

why wouldn't you put me

in the Fix It chair?

There's a matter

I need to raise first.

I'll save your blushes

by doing it for you.

The matter of the young lady

who committed su1c1de.

Of course.

There was an investigation.

And very impressed I was

by the diligence with which my

learned friend carried it out,

even though I knew

I would be exonerated.

I do need an absolute

assurance from you

that you have no skeletons

hiding in the closet.

I swear on my mother's grave.

Come in.

Anna

I just wanted to let you know

I've heard.

You've given it to Savile.

Look, I know you don't like him

He's a rude, arrogant man.

There are women in this building

who make sure

they are never alone with him.

None of them have told me that.

Come on!

You must have heard the rumours!

About what?

His behaviour with teenage girls.

I haven't heard any rumours.

Well, Douglas Muggeridge

has heard them.

And if Radio 1 has heard them,

then why haven't you?

Did Douglas investigate these

rumours? Yes.

And, admittedly, nothing conclusive

was found Well, there you are.

But what about the girl

who committed su1c1de?

All investigated by the lawyer.

And you consider that to be

the end of the matter?

He found no evidence to justify

the allegations.

The investigation looked

right across the BBC,

and he did say that such is the

labyrinthine nature of TV Centre

and the dressing room area

that it was inevitable some immoral

behaviour would occur.

And that's supposed to be an excuse?

That "immoral behaviour"

is ultimately

your responsibility, Bill.

Which is why I've taken steps

to deal with it.

Admission to TV Centre is now

strictly ticket only.

There's now much greater vigilance

to keep out under-16s.

Does that include girls who climb

over walls

to get into the back of

the building?

And the girls in the BBC Club plied

with drinks

by pop stars and staff

who we employ?

Entrance to the BBC Club

has been tightened up.

Anna, I'm doing my best,

but I can't work miracles!

And anyway, this show's going to be

centred on kids, not teens.

They'll be working as a team,

making sure they're

properly looked after.

You can't possibly believe this man

has any real empathy with children.

All I know is, Jimmy Savile

is a brilliant talent,

and we have to look after talent.

And all I know is that a man like

that

has no place working at the BBC.

That's my decision, Anna, not yours.

Mr Cotton. Hello.

10, 9, 8, 7

Mr Cotton.

..6, 5, 4, 3

Good evening, one and all,

and welcome to the very first

edition of Jim'll Fix It,

a brand-new show where yours

truly makes dreams come true!

It's a tough job,

but someone's got to do it!

And, tonight, we have a young boy

who wants to swim with dolphins,

and, last but not least,

three teenage gals who

are desperate to meet the Osmonds.

Suddenly, it all made sense.

Everything I'd done before

had been preparing me

for sitting on that throne

and seeing kiddies' faces light up

as I made their dreams come true.

It wasn't my impression, when

I attended a recording aged nine,

seeing all the production crew

urging kids to grin

when they went up to sit with you.

They didn't need any urging.

And when you weren't on camera,

you just seemed sort of distant

and cold.

It's called professionalism.

I just felt like I was seeing

another side to you.

You've not been listening,

have you?

There's only one side to me,

and he's talking to you now.

And he's thinking to himself,

"I hope I didn't misjudge

Dr Wordsmith.

"I hope he's not like some

of his fellow scribes,

"always wanting

to lift the toilet lid

"to see what's lurking in the pan."

Because were that the case,

I might tell him to sling his hook.

I just want this book to paint

a rounded portrait.

Then let's have no more

talk of kiddies being urged to grin.

I brought joy into innocent lives,

that's all.

Minibus!

Yes!

Hang on, hang on, come back!

They're not going to go without you.

You can't be a scruff

if you're going on the telly

to meet Jimmy Savile.

Right.

Perfect. Go on. Bye!

Kevin! Kevin, hang on! The tie!

Right, remember,

make sure you give this

to a grown-up to give to Jimmy.

Bye. Bye.

Have fun!

Now, all that remains

is for me to give you lovely boys

your Jim'll Fix It badge.

But there's quite a few of you,

so I can't give you all one each.

Instead, I've had a ginormous one

made for all of you.

So if you all stand up here now

Now, you just steady that, young

men.

And pass that ribbon down that way,

pass that round your shoulder.

That's it, good lad.

Same, pass it round your shoulders.

There's another one there.

There we go, that's the one.

There There it is.

So, that's all for tonight.

Don't forget to tune in

to Jim'll Fix It

same time next week,

where we make more dreams come true!

Well done, everyone, great show.

Biscuits are there.

Come on, do help yourself.

Now, then, now, then, young man,

I believe this came from you.

Yeah.

Well, what a splendid surprise!

And I've got a surprise for you.

I know I gave a Jim'll Fix It

badge to the whole pack, but

..what if I give you your very own?

Yeah. Yeah, please.

Yeah, well, you follow me.

Excited?

Well, if you want that badge,

I want you to do just

I want you to do just one

more thing.

Remember, it's our little secret.

You don't want to get your mum

all upset.

There he is! We've been

looking for you, you little rascal!

Kevin! You had us

worried for a minute.

Poor lad wandered off,

got lost in the woods.

Luckily, Uncle Jim found him

before the big bad wolf.

Hi, how did it go?

Great.

Well, come on, sit down.

Tell me about it.

Did he like the tie?

Course he liked the tie.

Look at that.

That's amazing!

Bless me, Father, it is

six months since my last confession.

And what sins do you want to

confess?

Selfishness.

And what was the selfish act?

There's a caff in Ilkley,

called the Tradesman's,

and the owner wouldn't

let me pay, and I, er

I didn't try to, even though double

egg and chips is only a pound.

And I knew he was skint.

So, er, why do you think you did it?

Er, childhood.

Parents struggled to put

food on the table.

So, this fellow giving away

free egg and chips, do you th

Do you think

he got pleasure out of it?

No question, Father.

And you didn't like to take away

that pleasure?

I know myself how much pleasure

I get

from doing things for other people.

This is perhaps not

a a great sin

Anything else?

Not for myself, Father.

But, um

I have a pal who struggles

with the sins of the flesh.

And he wanted some advice.

Is this friend a Catholic?

He is.

I think he just wanted to get things

straight in his mind.

What things, exactly?

Well, he's a single man,

but he sometimes gets tempted.

So did St Paul.

Temptation isn't of itself

necessarily a sin.

But if he gives in to it?

How?

Um

Forcing himself upon someone

..a young person

..a child, even?

That would be a mortal sin.

Supposing he did lots of good

things

to try and make up for it.

Would there still be a chance

he could go to heaven?

The Catechism is clear.

Any sin can be forgiven

..if he made a confession.

But

..you must

..urge him

..if he has done anything

like you have described

..to give himself up

to the authorities.

I'll make sure

he understands that, Father.

Bloody priceless, Sav!

Dream-maker to the nation.

King Jimmy.

I'd settle for "Sir".

They wouldn't be able

to touch you then, would they?

I mean, I know you've got other

ways of k*lling stories,

but who'd put

a Knight Of The Realm in court?

It's not the only reason I want it.

Power and the glory, too?

Never thought I'd get this far.

So, why not see if I can get all

the way to the f*ckin' top?

Why not?

Good heavens, Jimmy Savile!

Ma'am, at your service!

I heard the Tories were in town.

I came to pay my humble respects.

May I? Indeed you may!

Goodness

I do believe I may have kissed

the hand of a future Prime Minister.

Well, we hope so. I didn't know you

lived in Scarborough, Jimmy.

I have many homes,

none closer to my heart.

Sea, sand,

and ice cream par excellence

as served by my very good friend,

the Mayor.

You must try one! I shall!

But can I just say

how much I love Jim'll Fix It?

Denis and I are huge fans!

Flattery, madam,

will get you everywhere!

And I'm told you do an awful

lot for charity.

A call for help, I'm there.

Well, I wish you well in your work.

And I in yours.

But may I make a cheeky request?

I like a cheeky request.

I sometimes get requests from

kiddies

wanting me to fix it for

them to meet the Prime Minister.

Do you think that might be possible?

Of course!

But you must first fix it for me

to be PM!

Then I shall work my magic powers!

Well, it was lovely to meet you!

The wind ripped all the roof off.

The rain did the rest. Biblical.

Just coming

into Downing Street now,

here comes the prime ministerial

Rover, bearing now Mrs Thatcher.

I would just like to remember

some words of St Francis of Assisi

which I think are really just

particularly apt at the moment.

Where there is discord,

may we bring harmony.

Where there is error,

may we bring truth.

Where there is doubt,

may we bring faith.

And where there is despair,

may we bring hope.

We're all ready for you, Mr Savile.

Splendid, Jeeves.

Lead on!

The Duke of Monmouth.

Secretary to Charles II

and made a Knight of the Garter.

Well deserved, I'm sure.

They had proper hairstyles

in them days. Yes.

You've never been fond

of a short back and sides.

Well, this keep me ears warm.

Welcome to Chequers.

And thank you for fixing it

for me to become Prime Minister.

As promised.

Normally, I'd do such a meeting

at Number Ten,

but I thought

this would be convenient

since Stoke Mandeville

is only down the road.

Well, this whole area

is like a second home to me,

and, of course,

very handy for Broadmoor.

You are involved there as well?

Official entertainment officer.

That's marvellous.

So, the spinal injuries unit.

Er, yes, it's in ruins.

Yes, I'm aware.

They've asked me to head up a

campaign

to have it completely rebuilt.

Well, jolly good for you.

The architects have given

an estimate of ten million.

I was hoping the Government

might chip in.

You do realise

the Labour Government

left this country's finances

in a terrible state.

I warned Mr Callaghan

that the pot'd be empty,

the way he was carrying on.

He let himself be bullied

by the unions,

ran up a mountain of debt,

strikes, rubbish on the streets

A terrible mess. No question.

And I'm afraid some of the blame

rests with Mr Heath

when he capitulated to the miners.

Well, now,

if you show a miner weakness,

he will have you for breakfast.

I should know, I was one. Really?

Hearts of lions, but give 'em an

inch and they'll take a yard.

I rather think you and I are cut

from the same cloth, Jimmy.

Well, er, humble origins.

Er, and we know money doesn't

grow on trees.

So, I hope you'll understand why my

government can't help financially.

And I do think it's vital people

learn to help themselves.

Which is why I'm determined to raise

this money by hook or by crook.

Then I'll strike a bargain

with you, Jimmy.

If you did somehow raise

the funds for the building,

I'll try and find the money

to run it.

In that case, ma'am,

we have another deal.

Good to see you. Hello. Good to see

you. How did you raise it?

All sorts of ways, but mainly

a 24-hour sponsored

Morning, sweetheart.

Tell you what,

I'll see if we can get hold of one

of these T-shirts for you.

How about that?

Bit mardy, that one?

In and out of here all the time.

Grandad got a bit

..over-familiar with her.

Three of my favourite ladies!

Jill, spondoolies rolling in?

Yes. Bingo!

How are we doing, my hearties?

Exhausted as ever,

but it's wonderful.

People just walk in,

they give what they can.

And they all say,

please thank Jimmy for us.

Thank 'em from me. Make sure

they get a T-shirt each.

We're all set, Jimmy. Good man.

And help us to be

living witnesses to the Lord.

Lord hear us.

Lord, graciously hear us.

We pray for peace in the world.

That men, women and children

may live together

in peace and harmony

that God our Father intends.

Lord hear us.

Lord, graciously hear us.

We pray for all in special need,

the sick in mind or body

and their carers,

the lonely and those with

financial, work or family worries.

Lord hear us.

Lord, graciously hear us.

We pray for those who d*ed

and all who are bereaved,

that the love of God may transform

the darkness of death

into the bright

promise of immortality.

Lord hear us.

Lord, graciously hear us.

Father asked me

to do the collection plate

..Through your goodness,

we have this bread to offer,

which earth had given

and human hands have made.

It will become for us

the bread of life.

Blessed be God for ever.

By the mystery of this water

and wine,

may we come to share

in the divinity of Christ,

who humbled himself

to share in our humanity.

Blessed are you,

Lord God of all creation.

Through your goodness,

we have this wine to offer.

Fruit of the vine

and work of human hands,

it will become our spiritual drink.

- Blessed be God for ever.

- Blessed be God for ever.

I want to ask

you about the knighthood.

Never courted, never sought.

Well, I find that hard to believe.

I, er I take it you're not

a religious man, Dr Wordsmith. No.

Well, I think that's why we've

probably got

this "ulterior motive" problem.

Jesus said, "It's more blessed

to give than to receive."

That's all I did.

Come on, Jimmy, I've

I've been reading about this,

been thinking about it!

I mean, St Matthew said,

"Give to the poor and you will have

treasure in heaven."

Now, doesn't that imply that charity

is never purely selfless,

that the giver will always get

something out of it?

And you want that something

to be sinister?

Surely you can see why I'm pressing

the point As I said

to my good friend,

Pope John-Paul II Yeah

..those who bring sunshine

into the lives of others

can't keep it from their own.

And he said, "Spot on, Jimmy."

The more happy I made other people,

the happier I was.

Sam?

Are you all right?

What's all this?

Your periods haven't started,

have they?

No.

Then why?

Sam, why?

To try and stop him

..getting in.

You poor thing.

Look, whatever was

happening to you at home -

it can't happen here, can it?

You're safe with us in hospital,

aren't you? You couldn't be safer.

Sam, what is it?

Is there something else?

Come on, cheer up.

Give me those.

Why don't you go to the day room

and see what's on telly?

Can't.

Got chapel.

The priest expects me.

Well, you go to chapel, then,

stop worrying.

Lord,

we pray for those who are hungry

and for all those charities

who work to alleviate hunger

and poverty, both here at home

and across the world.

Lord hear us.

Lord, graciously hear us.

We pray for children

and young people everywhere,

especially those who are in care,

or otherwise vulnerable.

Lord, graciously hear us.

Lord, help us to be understanding

and forgiving

of all those we encounter.

Lord, hear us.

Lord, graciously hear us.

In The Bleak Midwinter

Merry Christmas, Jimmy.

Same to you, Jeeves.

Pop those under the tree,

if you'll be so kind.

You'll find her in the kitchen.

Merry Christmas, one and all!

Jimmy, welcome. Merry Christmas.

Now, I know you don't touch alcohol,

so this is orange juice.

Good health, Ma'am.

Please don't "Ma'am" me, Jimmy.

I'm not royalty.

Well, you are to me.

And I'm more than happy

to provide some fun

at the court of Queen Maggie.

Flattery will get you everywhere.

Do you know what, I think that

every Maggie needs a Jimmy.

Quite right.

This is Robert Armstrong,

my Cabinet Secretary.

He's the man in my life

who makes everything possible.

Or impossible, if I think

she's doing the wrong thing.

Well, season's greetings, good sir.

And to you. Robert's only popped in

for a sherry.

Heading off to see

my family shortly.

Denis has taken the other guests

for a stroll.

Er, may I ask who they are?

My speechwriter, Ronnie Millar,

and three others.

All bachelors like yourself, Jimmy.

I hate to think of you poor chaps

spending Christmas alone.

Deeply touched. Anyway,

it gives us a chance to catch up.

It's been such a busy year.

What with the Pope's visit

Yes. Well, I acted as

his native guide in Yorkshire.

T'was a great morale booster.

As was the Falklands.

It wasn't a decision I took lightly,

but it had to be done.

No question.

And when people say to me,

"What about those 300 men

who d*ed when we sank the Belgrano?"

I say, "Maggie had no choice."

Thank you.

But tell me about Stoke Mandeville.

I'm hearing amazing things

about the appeal.

Amazing indeed.

Another half million and we're

there.

The building work

is already under way.

Extraordinary! Well

..I'm going to find that

half million for you.

My word!

And, as promised,

the money to run it.

Well, what a Christmas present.

And by the way,

I'm sure your astonishing personal

contribution will be recognised.

I I don't do it for the glory.

But it's exactly that

selfless public service

that our honours system is for.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'd better find those men.

Already got an OBE, haven't you?

And proud of it.

OK, guys,

I'm sitting down here like this.

..seven, six, five, four, three

Prime Minister's car is approaching.

Thank you very much.

Keep all our fingers crossed,

we hope that the British public

respond as they have done.

It's a very special day

for us.

Finally, we're back up and running

again. Back on our feet.

When I think that it costs

£10 million,

how on earth do you raise

£10 million in three years?

It's easy.

Thank you.

You're late, Dr Wordsmith.

I ordered tea and crumpet,

but I've eaten it all now.

Sorry, it was a

..domestic issue.

Trouble with her indoors?

Rather not talk about it.

Yeah. I'll bet.

You'll not have, er, visited this

august establishment before?

No.

Yeah.

They don't let any Tom, d*ck

or Harry in here, you know.

See that?

From the Pope,

Knight of St Columbus.

That's how I got in.

Previous members include

Darwin, Dickens, Disraeli,

Duke of Wellington,

who parked his arse in

..in this very spot.

And I sometimes like to think

of the Duchess up there

looking down on me.

Thinking, "What an extraordinary

journey my little boy made."

Indeed.

You were talking last time about

not seeking the knighthood.

Which was perhaps just as well,

because there was a time

when the possibility was

slipping by, wasn't there?

Please elaborate.

Well, you'd rebuilt

Stoke Mandeville,

you found extraordinary

national acclaim,

but by the late '80s,

there was still no letter

from the Honours Committee,

and your career was on the slide.

News to me, Dr Wordsmith.

Please elaborate.

I was hoping you'd do that.

I can't.

Because it wasn't.

Tonight, I'm joined by

a showbiz legend,

the man who's been spinning records

for over 25 years,

Jimmy Savile.

Jimmy, you have the title of

a swinging bachelor.

How would you react as

a Roman Catholic Yes?

..if one of your partners

became pregnant?

Well, I'd say, "Who was it?"

Come judgment day,

you're a Christian.

Don't you believe you've put God

in somewhat of a dilemma?

Yes. There's Jimmy Savile,

the good man

That gives money to charity

and helps young children,

and the Jimmy Savile who flies

in the face of everything written

in the New Testament

about sexual promiscuity.

Twats.

I didn't realise that.

Well, no, you've admitted it.

Stand up, anybody who was so good

that they will walk straight through

the golden gates.

Me, when I stand in front of

the table and St Peter's there

and he says "You are not coming in",

I'll say, "Well, why not?" and

He'll say, "Cos you're a villain",

and he'll show me the debit side,

and I'll say, "Hang about,"

and I'll show him the credit side

and say, "Does that mean anything?"

If he says "That means nothing,"

I'll thr*aten to break his fingers.

Because, I mean, I don't know

anybody that's going to get

Little f*ckers.

Even with your charity work, you

come across as a bit of an egotist.

As if it's all about you,

not the people you're helping.

I don't care how I come across,

right?

All I care about

is helping those in need

and putting smiles

on people's faces.

What about your personal standards?

In one of your tabloid articles,

you describe having sex

in your passion wagon.

How do you reconcile that

with your Roman Catholic faith?

Well, I thought this was going to be

a bit of fun, but never mind.

Your attitude to sex seems strange.

Do you think sex is dirty?

No. Do you?

Twerp.

20 years ago,

I would have knocked 'em about.

What've you got for me?

It's him.

Robert Armstrong.

Thatcher's Cabinet Secretary.

It seems she's put you up

for a knighthood three times,

he's blocked it each time.

He's a c**t.

I knew he didn't like me,

but he's

He's got an effing knighthood,

why can't I have one?

No reason,

but he's got Maggie's ear.

Wants to save her embarrassment.

About what?

Seems to be to do with stuff you've

said and written over the years.

What stuff?

About encounters with young women,

of which you've claimed

to have many.

You once spoke of being feared

in every girls' school in Britain.

That was a f*cking joke!

Well, Armstrong

didn't find it funny.

I've just published this.

Advice for young people

on how to avoid perverts.

I help children.

I want that knighthood.

Well, Thatcher's the only way

to that, Sav.

Have you got anything for me?

Wouldn't mind a bacon roll,

as it happens.

Have the rest of that.

They put an extra rasher on,

just for me.

Come in.

Jim, didn't know you were here.

Only arrived last night.

Well, thank goodness.

I've been trying to find you.

And so has someone else.

Greetings, Ma'am.

Jimmy, dear. How are you?

Fighting fit, Ma'am. Good.

Because I'm calling to ask for help.

Anything at all,

I'm at your service.

It's Broadmoor.

The place is in chaos.

Management have lost control.

I'm told the Prison Officers' Union

are practically running the place,

and the patients think that

every day is April Fools Day.

None of this is news to me.

I've seen many things

as entertainments officer,

er, that concern me.

Well, that makes me even more sure

that we're doing the right thing.

And what's that? The management

and board have been suspended.

The Department of Health are

setting up a task force

and they feel sure that with that

can-do attitude

and Yorkshire common sense,

you can help turn the place round.

It would be an honour

and a privilege.

Thank you so much, Jimmy.

I won't forget this.

My advice remains the same,

Prime Minister.

Questions and rumours

about the man persist.

But you never explain what those

questions and rumours are.

Surely if there was anything

in them,

the BBC, Stoke Mandeville

and others would have taken action.

Unless, like us, they've had more

pressing things to deal with.

I'm getting

sick and tired of this, Robert.

Earlier today,

Health Secretary Edwina Currie

arrived at 10 Downing Street

to discuss the situation at

Broadmoor with Cabinet colleagues.

If anybody was

so basically unhappy here

that they didn't like it,

then they should hand

their notice in and leave.

The gloves are coming off.

What do you mean?

I didn't get sent here by the

Prime Minister just to f*ck about.

That's all you've ever done before

here. What do you mean?

Inviting press in to photograph

you with t'Ripper and Ronnie Kray?

That's to show the public the work

we do here at Broadmoor.

Not because

you're addicted to publicity

and love nothing more than

blowing smoke up your own arse?

You see, that's the sort of attitude

that's got to change.

And how are you going to do that,

Jimmy? Dr Savile to you.

You're not a proper doctor.

I've completed

an initial assessment

and I've come to the conclusion

that you lot have been fiddling

your expenses,

letting relatives use accommodation

designated for staff only

and generally taking the piss.

Bollocks.

This place has been under-funded

and under-staffed for years

and now they've put a lunatic

in charge.

Who, for reasons only known

to himself,

seems to spends most of his time

hanging round the women's block.

You are an arsehole, pal.

But what you'll find is,

I'm an even bigger one.

I was regularly in touch with Maggie

with progress reports.

She was delighted.

Maybe she wasn't paying

proper attention, though.

"Jim fixes it for 60 psychos

to go free" - News Of The World.

Not true, and I sued 'em.

You once gave a press conference

where you said

you wanted male and female patients

to mix so, and I quote

.. "they can fall in love."

Isn't that a pretty eccentric

approach to mental illness?

Pure common sense, Dr Wordsmith.

You have some other

interesting views.

You once said, of psychopaths,

"There's no point asking them

what they did on that dark night

"because it wasn't them that did it,

it was someone using their body."

What on earth do you mean by that?

I sense the toilet lid being lifted.

Perhaps it's time I looked

under yours, Dr Wordsmith.

What do you mean?

You're having trouble

with Mrs Wordsmith, aren't you?

If you must know, I've split up

with my girlfriend, yes.

Now, can we please move on?

I'm looking at a man in turmoil,

whereas you are looking at a man

who has always been at ease

with himself.

All I did was put a hand

on some spotty youth's arse.

The little twat goes home, tells

his dad I'd propositioned him.

Dad takes the lad to the police.

The next thing I know,

the police are at the door.

I I don't know what else

might come out.

If the cops are coming after me,

they know we're close,

they might come after you.

You won't say owt about me,

will you?

No, I I wouldn't, Sav, I swear!

But you're always saying

you've got friends in the police.

I wondered, could you put in a word?

I can't, Peter.

I can't,

it'll only make things worse.

You'd best be on your way, mate.

All right, Maureen?

Hello, Jimmy.

All right, guys and girls, carry on.

Don't mind me. There you are.

Hey, Sav.

I saw you walking past the gaff

earlier. What are you doing here?

Best cod and chips in town,

you once told us.

We're about to order if you fancy

No, I mean,

what are you doing in Scarborough?

We're house-hunting.

Here? Why?

Tell him, Charles.

Well, we've

we've news for you, Sav.

I'm retiring.

What do you mean?

He's retiring.

After years of hard graft,

he deserves a rest

and we've always fancied

living in Scarborough.

f*cking hell! Hey, language!

I can't have you here. Who's going

to look after stuff for me in Leeds?

We can still manage your life,

organise your fundraising

in the north.

I don't want you in Scarborough!

Why not?

Because I

I come here to relax!

I don't know

what you get up to here.

Or in any of the other places

you spend your time,

not to mention where you

park that van up.

Why are you so concerned to keep

everything separate?

Steady on, Beryl. No, it needs

saying. Why all the secrecy?

Anyway, like it or not,

we're moving here.

We've just put an offer in

on a lovely little place.

You see now, Charles,

why I never got married.

Let me guess. You're knocking on the

door of middle age.

You've split up with Mrs Wordsmith,

you're living out of cardboard

boxes.

This is really boring.

I've told you

I'm going through a tough time,

and that's all you need to know.

But you want to know everything

about my life.

I thought that's what we agreed.

We agreed nothing, pal.

We said we'll see how it goes.

Well, it's over.

You can sling your hook.

What do you mean?

To paraphrase what the Tories

said to Maggie

when her time was up,

you can f*ck off.

Now.

Run from me, Jimmy.

You won't be able to hide forever.

A few moments ago,

Mrs Thatcher's government

won an overwhelming

vote of confidence in the Commons.

But for the Prime Minister

of the last 11 years,

it was a Pyrrhic victory.

Tonight, the key

to 10 Downing Street

lies in the hands of her party.

She led them to victory three times,

then they turned on her.

Ladies and gentlemen,

we're leaving Downing Street

for the last time,

after 11 and a half

wonderful years.

And we're very happy that

we leave the United Kingdom

in a very, very, much better state

than when we came here

11 and a half years ago.

But then the Iron Lady's

composure almost broke.

Watch her face

as she reaches her car.