04x02 - Mrs. Stratton Builds Her Dreamhouse

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face to face ♪

♪ A couple

Of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Dad, all set for Duke's Diner?

Aha, I got something better.

What could be

better than Duke's?

It's the only

place that accepts

Visa, Mastercard,

and Blue Cross.

I tell you

what they don't have.

A terrific home-cooked

breakfast, courtesy of Kate.

[SCOFFS]

It's Sunday morning, Dad.

A new, improved

Sunday morning.

What about Duke's?

My stomach waits all week

to hear those magic words,

[IMITATES DUKE]

"Hey, kid, want gravy on dat?"

Yeah, Duke's wife's a charmer.

Eating here today would be

like breaking tradition.

Before you know it,

we'll be having

liver and onions

on Thanksgiving.

Kate's gone out of her way

to try to please us.

Come on.

It won't be the same.

Kate doesn't care

about sports.

She thinks a wide end

is something you get

when you go off your diet.

Mmm, mmm, mmm.

Smells good.

What is it?

Grapefruit.

Grapefruit?

Are you sure you wanna

go through all this trouble?

We can still go to Duke's.

Duke's! I ate there once.

The food was so sloppy.

Runny eggs,

greasy fried potatoes--

Stop it.

I'm salivating.

Come on.

What are we having?

Eggs Florentine.

Now, that's something

you never hear at Duke's--

[IMITATES DUKE]

"Pick up! Eggs Florentine!"

By the way, take a look at that

cover on that home section.

Hey, Dad, there's some

great games on TV today.

That's a nice-looking

kitchen.

Lots of teeny little flowers.

Well, wouldn't that look

be great in here?

Oh, really, Rick?

What games?

Well, the Newark Nerds are

battling the Toledo Turkeys.

Don't they play nude?

Not totally.

They wear kneepads.

Ha-ha-ha-ha.

It's okay, I guess,

but what's the matter

with the kitchen

the way it is?

Well, I've always thought

that it was very unusual.

[CHUCKLES]

Lots of character.

"Unusual..."

"Lots of character."

You're going somewhere

with this.

Well, for example,

isn't that peace symbol

a little outdated?

I thought that was

a Mercedes emblem.

If that bothers you, honey,

I'll just take it down.

Maybe the place could use

a little facelift.

[HAMMER CLANGING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[SAW BUZZING]

Kate! Kate!

Look out, look out.

Coming through.

Ah, the nightmare

has begun.

Kate!

I didn't know

you were there.

Oh, listen, I'll be back

in one second.

I've got to talk

to the electrician

about our new

powder room.

New powder room?

Edward, I beseech you,

Stop this now

before it's too late.

Send these tradesmen away.

Why, pray tell?

To save your marriage.

Don't you think you're being

a little overly dramatic?

I'm being underly dramatic.

I don't want to see you

end up like Ted and Babs.

Didn't they split up?

Precisely, and they were

just redoing a little den.

Edward, you've just

recently married.

A new family is like

a freshly-hatched egg.

Redecorating is like:

[IMITATES EGG BREAKING]

an egg beater.

Dex, our family's like

a hard-boiled egg.

Solid. Strong.

Goes good on salads.

Dad, what's going on?

There's a bunch of trucks.

More trucks? Kate!

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I got it.

[PHONE CONTINUES RINGING]

Disaster headquarters.

Hi, Freddy.

Sorry, I can't.

Dad's taking me

to the Mets game tonight.

Uh, no, Rick, I'm not.

Freddy, I just got rained out.

Yeah, I'll see you

at school. Bye.

Well, I'm sorry, son, but I

checked my appointment calendar.

I promised Kate I'd take her

to a party. For charity.

What's the charity,

neglected children?

Fast.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Hello. You must be

the interior decorator.

Remarkable.

How did you know?

[SCOFFS]

You're not wearing

a hard hat.

Good eye.

You must be

Guy du Maurier.

Guy.

Guy?

A "Guy" costs at least

percent more than a guy.

Try percent.

I'm Edward Stratton.

My son, Rick.

How do you do?

This is my business manager

Dexter Stuffins.

Nice to meet you.

I have to run.

If you have a scrap

of decency in you,

you'll come out

that door with me

and leave this family

in peace.

He's frightened you,

hasn't he?

Are you planning

on changing a lot?

Life is change.

And, boy, are you

going to live.

Dad, are you listening

to this?

Well, son, I'm sure Guy--

Guy.

Guy...

Both of them

are very knowledgeable.

We certainly are.

Oh, hello, Guy.

Ah, Mrs. Stratton.

[SMOOCHES]

Here are the plans

for the second floor.

Second floor?

Kate, can I

see you for a minute?

Tell your husband

not to worry.

Everything's under control.

And besides, it's too late

to stop now.

[SMOOCHES]

Anybody see my books?

They were on the table.

Has anybody

seen the table?

Honey, uh...

I know we agreed

to a few changes,

but it takes fewer people

to put up a circus tent.

We looked at

the plans together.

Yeah, I know. They were

all nice and neat.

There weren't all these people

running around on them.

[SCOFFS]

Well, Edward, every time I

tried to talk to you, you said,

"You take care of it.

I trust you."

I did trust you.

Did?

Do.

Do.

[CHUCKLES]

Look, I know it's going

to be a little bit of a hassle,

but think about how great it's

gonna be when it's all done.

This is that important

to you, isn't it?

Yeah.

Once I started

looking at this house,

the floors, the beams,

the moldings,

I suddenly realized

how beautiful

it could become for all of us.

Go ahead.

Make it beautiful.

Just step on it.

Thank you.

Hi, Mr. Stratton,

Mrs. Stratton.

Good morning,

Alphonso.

Hi, Rick.

Hi, Alphonso.

Found them.

Boy, do you believe this?

Looks like fun.

Yeah, I always like

to start my day under a tarp.

Hey, if it works and

it doesn't hurt anybody...

Ever since

my dad's married Kate,

things in this house

have changed.

He doesn't take me out

for Sunday breakfast anymore.

I'm not going to the Mets game

tonight either.

That's really terrible.

Can I have the tickets?

Come on. We're going

to be late.

Rick.

Guy's drawn up some really

exciting plans for your room.

My room?

Yeah, we'd like to see

what you think.

Yeah, we'd like your input.

You want my input?

Put nothing in.

[♪♪♪]

[THUNDER CRASHING]

[INAUDIBLE DIALOGUE]

[THUNDER CRASHES]

[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING LOUDLY]

EDWARD:

Rick!

Yeah?

Son, do you think you might

turn it down a little!

Dad, it's not that loud!

The flowers in our garden

are wilting!

Dad, this is my favorite song,

"Silent Love!"

Okay!

[MUSIC STOPS PLAYING]

[SIGHS]

[SIGHS]

You want to talk

about anything?

No.

Everything okay?

Yeah.

You know, you could always

come to me

when anything's troubling you.

Anything at all.

Mm-hm.

We should talk

like this more often.

Hi.

Hi, Alphonso.

Hey, Rick,

how's it going?

Terrible. This thing with Kate

keeps getting worse.

I thought you liked Kate.

I do, but she's just

getting carried away.

Do you know what she put

in my bathroom?

Fancy toilet paper.

With those stupid

little designs?

Yeah.

She's working her way

into every corner of my life.

It's classic.

The pushy stepmother.

Goes all the way back

to Cinderella.

Why don't you talk

to your dad about it?

I can't.

If I say anything, it'll look

like I'm attacking Kate.

Then, he'll just

hate me for it.

Adults love to t*rture us.

Look at this outfit

my uncle forced me to wear

so we can eat in a stupid

French restaurant

where it's dark and nobody

can see anything, anyway.

Look at this.

She put in

two laundry baskets.

Why two?

One for whites,

the other for colors.

That's segregation!

This is my room.

If I want to leave my clothes

all over my room

that's my business.

Way to go!

It's not fair.

It's un-American.

This country's supposed

to be a democracy.

They're not smarter

than we are. Just older.

They get in a position of power,

and they just go crazy with it.

Now your room looks better.

Hold on.

Now, it's perfect.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Alphonso, your uncle

wants you down...stairs.

Well, I'm sure there's a very

good reason for all of this.

I'm taking inventory.

Place looks charming.

You and Kate still together?

No problem.

Well, except for Rick.

[SING-SONGY]

It's starting!

[NORMALLY]

What's the matter?

[SIGHS]

I always thought we had

such a good relationship.

Now, I'm not so sure.

I tried talking to him.

He just clams up.

Well, I suggest you use

a method I've developed

to deal with Alfonso when he's

reluctant to discuss something.

What's that?

Go up there,

shine a bright light

in his face, and grill him

till he talks.

Do I have to go?

Yes. Come over here.

I'm sorry, Alfonso,

there are moments in life

we all must endure.

I'm afraid you have to eat

that exquisitely-presented,

incredibly delicious

gourmet French cuisine.

[SUCKS TEETH]

Take a good look around, Dex.

Be the last time you see

the place looking like this.

Early arcade.

I'll miss it.

Me too.

[TOOLS CLANGING]

Where are you

going, son?

I'm late.

It's only : .

I have to go to Duke's

for breakfast again.

I never thought

I'd say this.

But I'm sick of Duke's

greasy potatoes...

And I'm sick of Duke.

Rick?

Come here.

I want to talk to you.

Let's sit down

on the sofa, here.

Did I screw something up?

No, but I know you're up--

Hey! Hey! The sofa goes!

We can take a hint.

Let's go into what's left

of the kitchen.

Rick!

Dad, that sign says,

"Keep out."

Well, this is still

my kitchen.

If they want to bother us here,

they can just wait.

Look, son.

I know this redecorating's

bothering you.

[CHUFFS]

It's not gonna do

any good to talk about it.

I know

what you're gonna say.

Great. Tell me,

because I don't.

All right.

[SIGHS]

Ever since

you've married Kate,

things in this house

have changed.

Or haven't you noticed?

Noticed?

I'm sitting on a sawhorse.

How come you've let her

take over like this?

She hasn't taken over.

Son, Kate lives here now.

She has a right to put something

of herself in the house.

[SCOFFS]

You see, I knew that you'd--

What? You knew

that I'd what?

Forget it.

No, now, don't

shut down on me, Rick.

I can't read your mind.

I knew that you'd be

on her side.

There are no sides here.

We're all in this together.

Then why do I feel

like I don't count anymore?

You mean as much to me

as you ever have,

but things have changed,

you know?

It's not just you

and me anymore.

I know. It's you, me,

and half the construction

workers on Long Island.

I know it isn't easy

for you, son.

But it's very

important to me

that you accept Kate

as part of our family.

So we talked.

What good did it do me?

I know what's

bothering you,

now you understand

how I feel about it.

See, when you stop talking,

things start to fall apart.

[SCOFFS]

You haven't been exactly

speaking up yourself.

I know that

you've been bothered

by the stuff happening

in the house.

No, I haven't! I'm glad

we're redecorating!

I know you're irritated.

You get that expression

when your eyes get squinty.

Nah. That's just

me trying to visualize

how great it's gonna look.

CONTRACTOR:

Okay. Let her rip!

[CRANE BUZZES]

[expl*si*n]

I think...

it's time to talk to Kate.

Oh, Kate.

What happened?

Are you all right?

Never been better.

Considering the kitchen

just blew up.

You were in there?

You guys shouldn't

have been in there.

Take a break.

Touchy.

Hey, Dad, they're taking

away your train.

Hold it! Wait a minute!

Where are you going with that?

A choo-choo does not belong

in a living room.

This one does!

But it clashes.

Let me tell you something

about that train.

It didn't just wander

in here by accident.

I dreamed, ever since

I was a kid,

about having

a train like this!

I laid these tracks!

When the engine's broken,

I repair it!

This train is here because

it's part of my life,

and I'm not ready to

let it go yet!

The train stays!

All right, men.

White man say

iron horse stay.

Let me start by saying,

"I love you."

That bad, huh?

This has gone beyond

what I thought we'd do.

We agreed to fix up,

not blow up.

I know, I know.

Every morning I've

been waking up and I wonder,

how did I ever

get us into this mess?

I mean, it started out

with fresh paint

and some new curtains,

And somehow it ended up

with dynamite.

This is a lot like

The Blob.

Did you ever see that movie?

You see, this started out

just doing the kitchen.

Gurgle.

Then it moved

into the living room.

Gurgle, splat.

Then, upstairs.

Gurgle, splat, squish.

And finally, it took over

the whole house.

Gurgle, splat, squish,

crunch, belch.

By the end of the movie,

everybody had been eaten

by the blob,

or was very tense.

Well, very tense seems

very relaxed to me right now.

[SIGHS]

I knew you guys thought that

I turned the house

into a w*r zone.

Kate, why didn't

you talk to us about it?

Well, what could I say?

Somehow, "oops"

didn't seem to cover it.

I don't know.

I kind of like "oops."

A wise man once said,

"When you stop talking,

things just fall apart."

[WHISTLES]

I guess we're all

having to learn

how to live with each other.

All I wanted to do was

to make a home

for the three of us.

I just hope when it's done

it'll be worth all the trouble.

I'm sure it will be.

Even The Blob

had a happy ending.

There must be some way

to make this all easier.

Maybe we should move into

the guest house

until the work

is finished here, huh?.

All right!

Good idea!

Let's keep communicating

from now on.

Deal?

Deal.

All right.

Why don't we keep talking

about this down at Duke's diner?

You really wanna

go to Duke's?

Sure. And we'll get some

of those fabulous

greasy potatoes.

You sure?

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

What a family, huh?

We're finally communicating!

[GIGGLES]

We're off to Duke's,

and none of us

wants to go there!

EDWARD:

Interesting

lighting arrangement.

KATE:

Careful. There's a beautiful

table over here.

[FURNITURE THUDS]

EDWARD:

I found it.

RICK:

When do we get to see it

for ourselves?

KATE:

Soon as I find

the light switch.

Looks about the same to me.

Is that a new

fireplace poker?

Come on, guys!

Hey! Just what I've

always wanted--

A, uh, thingamabob!

A see-through thingamabob.

That's an antique

letter holder.

Honey...it's wonderful.

I love it.

[SIGHS]

It's really great, Kate.

There's just one

thing missing.

What? What?

It's terrific.

The perfect

little accessory.

[WHISTLES]

[TOOTING]

The nice thing

about this train

is that it goes

with everything.

[♪♪♪]