♪ Here we are ♪
♪ Face to face ♪
♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪
♪ Hopin' to find ♪
♪ We're two of a kind ♪
♪ Makin' a go ♪
♪ Makin' it grow ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ Takin' the time each day ♪
♪ To learn all about ♪
♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪
♪ Two silver spoons together ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together ♪
[♪♪♪]
Kate, when you want
to worm something out of Dad,
how do you do it?
I never worm anything
out of your father.
Besides, it wouldn't
work for you.
[GROANS]
What do you need?
I need an increase
in my allowance.
You see, my class is going
on a ski trip.
And before we go,
I have to buy a few things.
Oh, what kind of things?
Skis would be nice.
You already have skis.
But I'm older now.
I need skis that don't
have Snoopy on them.
Hey, Rick.
Hi, Dad.
So, what are you up to?
Nothing.
[STAMMERS]
I mean, I've got
nothing planned.
Oh.
I think Rick
wants to ask something.
Oh?
Nothing important.
It can wait.
Oh.
He needs money
for new ski equipment.
Oh.
So he can go on
a ski trip with his class.
Lucky you have such an
accomplished interpreter.
Dad, everyone's going
on this trip.
I'll do anything. Anything, Dad.
You name it, I'll do it.
All right, I guess there's
a little work
needs doing around here.
Work?
Yeah, you can start
by taking out that garbage.
But Dad, come on--
Out there,
you can clean around
the greenhouse.
Maybe I should just
paint over Snoopy.
All right, I'm going.
I'm going.
[♪♪♪]
[HUMMING INDISTINCTLY]
Well, what are you
gawking at, little boy?
What are you looking for?
The Hope Diamond.
I lost it in here, somewhere.
I'm looking for something
to eat. What do you think?
Why?
Because breakfast is the most
important meal of the day.
But this is just stuff
we threw out.
Why are you
eating garbage?
I left home without
my American Express card, okay?
[COUGHING]
[COUGHING]
Good. Now we both got it.
Look, are you gonna
be all right?
Yeah. I just need
a little vitamin C.
You throwing out
any orange peels?
Look, I've got
to get back in now.
Hey, hey, hey,
don't eat that.
It's gonna make you sick.
Are you crazy?
I know people who would k*ll
for an avocado sandwich.
That's tuna.
Green tuna.
[COUGHING]
By the way, there's some stale
chocolate cake in that one.
You might like it. I had it
last night. It's good.
No, thanks.
I'm watching my figure.
[COUGHING]
Okay, you're Rupert Metcalf.
You're British.
You're thinking of placing
a huge order of toys
with some
brash American woman.
You come here for dinner.
You have shrimp
and caviar off of these.
Are you impressed?
I think it's illegal
for an Englishman to eat
off Princess Di's face.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
[CHUCKLES]
I'll get it.
Dad...
Hmm?
...have you ever
been embarrassed
about how much money
you have?
Well, sometimes I think
I have more than my share.
What about people
who don't have anything?
I think we should
help them any way we can.
You mean, give them money?
Not just money. If you want
to make changes, get involved.
Oh, like you did in the ' s.
That's right. We had
marches, protests, sit-ins.
Love-ins...
What was your question?
I think you've answered it.
I've gotta finish up outside.
Good boy.
Hi, Edward.
Hey, Dex.
RICK: Hi, Dex.
Hi, Rich.
I told Dexter that we were
having Rupert Metcalf
for dinner on Friday.
And that I was making
the hors d'oeuvres
and he turned pale.
He's still not sure
I'll impress old Rupert.
Are you saying,
we're on thin ice?
I'm saying we're at
the bottom of the lake.
Rupert Metcalf
is a British gourmet.
Hot dogs and peanut crunchies
are not his cup of tea.
I resent that! I haven't made
peanut crunchies in a week.
How about
pigs-in-a-blanket?
[GROANS]
Oh, no, no. Listen,
I'll tell you something,
leave everything to me.
I'll order a nice
poached salmon,
a tureen of duck pâté,
some nice little escargots.
I'll even get someone
to help us serve.
Give the proceedings
a little touch of class.
I told you it would work.
[COUGHING]
Come on, now. You can do it.
I'm-- I'll be fine, just--
Would you stop shoving me?
[WHEEZING, COUGHING]
Dad, Kate, Dexter,
I want you to meet someone.
Grab her!
[GASPS, THEN GROANS]
Dad, I've been thinking.
We've got to find out
who she is
and if she's got a family.
Don't get your hopes up, son.
Life isn't a fairy tale
where everybody lives
happily ever after.
What do you think, Kate?
Is she all right?
No, she's not all right.
She's got a terrible
chest cold.
And I don't think she's had
a square meal in a month.
All she ever eats
is frozen dinners.
And I mean frozen.
She has a terrible cough.
Why can't she stay here
until she's feeling better?
Wouldn't it make more sense
to check her into a hospital?
Well, I don't think
she's that sick.
Why don't we just
let her stay here?
Yeah, just until she's better.
Why don't we get her
into a nice halfway house?
Or a neighborhood shelter?
This could be
the neighborhood shelter.
Well, not for everybody, Dad.
Just for her.
[SIGHS]
How about it?
Come on.
Rick...
I'm very, very proud
of your attitude.
Then she can stay?
I didn't say that.
He didn't say that,
but that's what he meant.
Right, Edward?
Come on. I don't wanna
sound like Scrooge...
So she can stay.
But only until she's better.
Okay, kid.
Who stole my duds?
Hey, you look different.
Save it, kid.
Where are my clothes?
I think my father buried them.
We'll buy you new clothes.
Look, I gotta get out of here.
I got people to see,
appointments to keep.
I'm-- I'm expected.
You can't go out there.
It's degrees.
With the wind chill factor,
it's below zero.
They're expecting four inches
of snow tonight.
What are you,
a teenage weatherman?
Don't you have
any family or friends?
Right now,
I'd settle for clothes.
Look, there must be
somebody I can phone.
Someone I can contact
for you?
No, there's not.
And even if there were,
they-- They wouldn't want
to hear from me anyway.
[COUGHING]
Listen to yourself.
Look, look. Stay
here till you're okay.
You poison your garbage.
You steal my clothes.
You make me dress up
like your father.
You are looking
for a lawsuit.
Not more garbage.
"Arlene's eighth birthday,
November th, ."
"Patterson photos. Seattle."
Hello, operator.
But Dad, if she came
to the party,
she could borrow one
of Kate's dresses
get fixed up and feel good
about herself.
Rick, we can't make
that assumption.
Who knows how she'd feel?
I can't believe the largest
buyer of toys in England
will be here in an hour
and you want him to party with
the leader of the mole people.
Dad, look,
what's more important,
an order
for your business
or giving back a human being
her self-esteem?
Got an answer
for that, Dex?
Yes. Next week,
we're meeting with
a toy buyer from Newark.
She can get back her
self-esteem with him.
Mr. Stuffins--
What is it?
I think your snails
are burning.
Don't call them snails.
They're called escargots.
Yeah, well,
one of your escargots
is trying to crawl
out of the pan.
Excuse me a minute.
Kate, Rick is suggesting
that we invite our guest
to our dinner party.
What do you think?
Darn, I forgot
my other earring.
Aggie, could you bring me
my other earring?
Aggie? She finally
told you her name?
No, but we had to call
her something.
[KATE GASPS]
You know,
you look fantastic.
I do, don't I?
Didn't I do a terrific job
on her hair?
Whose brush did you use?
It took me longer
to talk her into it
than it did
to get her ready.
Ready for what?
Come on, Dad. Ask her.
Ask me what?
Uh, Aggie,
Rick and Kate and I
are getting ready to have
a little dinner party,
as you can see.
We'd like very much
for you to come.
Well, it's...
It-- It's
very short notice...
But I'd be delighted
to attend.
Great.
[CHUCKLES]
Well, in celebration,
how about telling us
your real name?
No.
Why not? We're your friends.
That name's associated with
a past I'd just as soon forget.
Why?
I forget.
[ALL CHUCKLE]
No, tonight I'd--
I won't be me.
Tonight I'll be...
Agatha Winthrop III.
Whoo!
No. Wait. The first.
Why should I
be the third?
[CHUCKLES]
Well, the escargots
have been rescued,
the rolls are rising,
and I'm perspiring.
Ooh, I didn't know
we had company.
You must be Mrs. Metcalf,
I presume.
Miss Winthrop, I'd like you
to meet Dexter Stuffins.
Dexter, Miss Winthrop.
How do you do?
Charmed, I'm sure.
Haven't we met
somewhere before?
You don't expect me
to fall for that line, do you?
You should have heard the one
he tried on me in the kitchen.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
Oh, I'll get it.
It's okay.
Hello.
Oh, hi, Mr. Patterson.
What'd you find out?
Look, hold on.
I'll take this
on another phone. Yeah.
So does this mean
I get my robe back?
Maybe. But not these.
[DOORBELL CHIMES]
Will somebody get the door?
I guess she doesn't do doors.
Mr. Metcalf.
Mr. and Mrs. Stratton.
At last.
Let me take your coat and hat.
Thank you.
Well.
Not exactly a fish-and-chip
shop you have here, is it?
Just your
humble little toymaker.
Please come on in,
and I'll introduce you.
RUPERT:
Don't tell me.
You're my dinner companion.
Well, this is
going to be a pleasure.
Agatha Winthrop, I'd like you
to meet Rupert Metcalf.
And this is--
I know where you got
that rosebud complexion.
Bet you don't.
Miss Winthrop
is an outdoor type.
Ah, a sportswoman.
More of a collector.
Yes. You know,
old things.
Like sculpture
and old things like that.
Anything I
can get my hands on.
[CHUCKLES]
Jolly good, yes.
Well, Miss Winthrop--
It is Miss, isn't it?
You and I seem to be
off to a splendid start.
Mr. Metcalf, you absolutely
must try one of these.
Ah...interesting.
What are they?
b*rned snails.
EDWARD:
Rick.
Mr. Metcalf, my son, Rick.
How do you do, sir?
An American teenager.
I suppose you've been
out back hula-hooping.
Hula whating?
Fine young lad.
Yeah. Could I see you
for a minute
in the kitchen,
Miss Winthrop?
Excuse us, sir.
You know, that woman
would look regal in rags.
Do, um-- Do you
believe in miracles?
Ha-ha-ha! You've
got to be kidding.
It's my old clothes.
Well, there are miracles.
[CHUCKLES]
Would you please sit down...
Mrs. Mary McClure?
How did you find out?
I found a picture of you
and your daughter, Arlene.
In your trash bag.
You went into my luggage?
It wasn't locked.
Anyway, I phoned
Mr. Patterson in Seattle.
Who's Mr. Patterson?
The photographer.
He checked back in
his records to November ,
and there you were.
But that's not the best part.
How dare you go
through my things!
Mr. Patterson
found your daughter.
She's a nurse.
She wants to see you.
Look, I don't like you
poking into my business.
I just want to be left alone.
It's because you left
your husband and daughter
years ago, isn't it?
Boy, you are
a regular snoop!
She still wants
to hear from you.
Mr. Patterson gave me
her phone number.
She wants you to call her.
So.
She knows where I am.
I'll be in the living room
if you need me,
and the phone is right there.
Would you care
for some caviar?
Or would you prefer
some duck pâté?
Actually, I'd hoped
to sample
some good, down-to-earth
American fare.
I'm with you. I've looked all
over and couldn't find no ribs.
Mr. Metcalf loved the food,
didn't he?
Think I'll go stick my head
in the oven.
No, no, you can't do that.
Well, thanks for caring,
Richard.
Miss Winthrop's on the phone
in there, Dex.
In that case, I'll just
stand over here and pout.
Speaking of Miss Winthrop,
she'd be in oil, I suppose.
She was. Uh, oil, grease.
Shopping malls.
I knew it.
I can spot old money
like that.
I wonder what's
detaining the dear lady.
I'll check it out.
So tell me, Mr. Metcalf,
how do you like America?
Oh, I love it!
I can't wait
to immerse myself
in your culture.
Well, New York
has a lot to offer.
I was thinking of Disneyland.
Dad, Kate, can you
come here, please?
BOTH:
Sure.
Excuse us.
She's gone.
Why?
Gone?
Yep. She left
Arlene's phone number.
I'll bet she
didn't even phone her.
Who's Arlene?
Mrs. McClure's daughter.
Who's Mrs. McClure?
Miss Winthrop.
Miss Winthrop is Mrs. McClure?
Yes.
How do you know all this?
The photographer told me.
What photographer?
Mr. Patterson.
Who's Mr. Patterson?
Never mind him,
I'm still working
on Mrs. McClure.
She's gone!
Mrs. McClure?
Now, you've got it, Kate.
Where did she go?
I don't know, Dad,
but I've got to find out.
I'll come with you, son.
What should I do
about Mr. Metcalf?
You're an executive.
Think of something.
Maybe the park.
We've been to the park.
Maybe the mall.
We've been to the mall.
Maybe the greenhouse.
We've been to the greenhouse.
Rick, come on. We're tired.
We're starving
and we're freezing.
Now we know
how she feels, Dad.
Try the greenhouse again.
WOMAN:
Buzz off!
Open up, Mrs. McClure.
WOMAN:
No McClure here.
Wrong address.
Please open up.
We're getting frostbite.
Where were you born,
in a barn? Close that door.
Why did you leave?
Bloomingdales
was having a sale.
How about coming back
up to the house
where it's warm
and we can talk.
I don't want to talk.
Do you mind?
You forgot this.
It's your daughter's
phone number.
If I gave you a bus ticket,
would you go to Seattle?
Would you have offered
Miss Winthrop
a bus ticket?
No. I would have offered
her a...plane ticket?
First class or economy?
First class.
I'll take it.
All right. I'll make
a reservation.
You can pick it up
at the airport.
You don't trust me
with the cash.
You want cash?
Uh, you know something?
You got yourself
a pretty nice kid there.
Nosy.
But nice.
So think she'll go?
Your guess
is as good as mine.
You mean, after all this,
she could go back
to being a bag lady?
If she feels like it.
Unlike most
of those poor souls,
she has a choice.
Let's hope she makes
the right choice.
Well, whether
she does or not,
you did all
you could to help her.
You did good, son.
Thanks.
And Rick?
Yeah, Dad?
From now on,
I'll take out the garbage.
To Eddie Toys.
Here, here.
To Metcalf's of London.
To me.
She's right, Eddie.
The lady deserves a bonus.
Rupe, old boy,
she's going to get one.
To Miss Winthrop,
wherever she may be.
Indeed.
KATE: Yes.
Seattle, you say?
There was some talk
of Seattle, yeah.
And an airline?
I can't say more.
I wonder if she's
buying Boeings.
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
04x14 - The Lady Is A Tramp
Watch/Buy Amazon
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.