04x15 - Stratton and Stratton

[bunniefuu]

[RIK HOWARD & BOB WIRTH'S

"TOGETHER" PLAYING]

♪ Here we are, face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons together ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I together ♪

Lynn's ticket agency? Hi.

Do you have tickets for the

Springsteen concert Saturday?

You do? Great. How much

for a front-row ticket?

I'm sorry, we must have

a bad connection.

I thought I heard you say $ .

Oh. You did?

Well, what can I get for $ ?

No, thanks. I don't wanna see

Tony and the Toenails.

Thanks.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Hey, Rick.

What happened?

How'd it go?

Well, I tried to get

third-row seats.

Forget it.

I was laughed at by

every ticket agent in town.

Will you settle for...

fourth row?

Amazing! Incredible!

How'd you pull it off?

My cousin's best friend's

sister lives next door

to Springsteen's bass player's

father's brother-in-law.

Why didn't you tell me you had

primo contacts like that?

I wasn't sure

they'd come through.

What a break.

Yeah.

Rock 'n' roll isn't easy.

No kidding. First you wait

in line for three hours,

just to find they're sold out,

Then you call

the ticket agency,

but they've got the tickets

at rip-off prices.

It's amazing anybody

gets to a rock concert.

Get to the rock concert!

We're already going

to the rock concert.

No, it's an idea for a game

for my dad's toy company.

Wanna work on it with me?

No, I'd rather go find

some friends and gloat!

[HUMMING]

[CHUCKLES]

Oh, I forgot how

much I love dancing.

Ah, that was fun, wasn't it?

Oh, I couldn't believe some

of the steps you were doing.

Hey, you think

tonight was something?

Next time, I lead.

[GIGGLING]

Fred Astaire,

look out!

Shh! Gonna wake up Rick.

Shh!

It's late, it's late.

Yes, yes.

RICKY:

Hiya!

Uh, Rick...

Don't you have school?

What are you doing up?

Waiting for you guys.

Well, and getting

a little snack.

What is that,

a salute to cavities?

Dad, you are about to have

the thrill of a lifetime.

Ah, can it wait till morning?

It came to me all at once,

like a vision.

Are you feeling all right?

Kate, would you quit it?

I came up with a new game

for Eddie Toys.

It's called

Get to the Rock Concert.

Don't you love it?

The object is to get

to a rock concert. Ha!

That sounds interesting,

but right now,

your object

is to get to bed.

But I haven't told you

how it goes.

Look. This is

where the players live,

and over here's

the rock concert.

Son, I'm glad you've got ideas,

but we should wait

until you're not so tired.

But I'm not tired.

We agreed you'd go to bed

at : on school nights,

and it's :

in the morning.

: .

Dad, you're starting

to dampen my enthusiasm.

Look, let's talk about it

in the morning

when we're fresh. Okay?

Okay, fine. I tried to give

Eddie Toys the first sh*t,

so I guess I'll bring my game

to another toy company.

I'll risk it.

Ha!

How do you like that?

We just said good night

with mutual threats.

That stuff's starting to happen

all the time lately.

Well, why don't you

talk to him?

I did.

We had a big argument

about whether

we're arguing more.

Seems like

in the last month,

he's turned into that most

dreaded species on Earth...

a teenager.

Inside that teenager

is your son.

I'm thinking of asking

for a blood test.

Oh, you know, when he came

to live with me three years ago,

we were buddies.

We were just like that.

Now we're like this.

Maybe you should spend

more time together.

No, no, no, he'd rather

be with his friends.

I'd have to go to the mall

and hang out with them.

"Hey, yo, dudes,

foxy chick coming out

the record store!

Like, act natural, man.

You know?"

[BOTH LAUGH]

What about his game idea?

Is there anything to it?

Oh, I don't know, Kate.

Board games

are kind of hit and miss.

They take a lot of thought

and development.

Why don't you develop it

with him?

It would give you a chance

to be buddies again

instead of...

relatives.

Well, I guess

it's a possibility, huh?

This is kind of interesting.

He's got all these obstacles

set up. Fires, floods,

fathers.

I'll give it a sh*t!

Doubles! Yes!

I can go to

New York, New York

or go see Duran Duran.

I know, I know.

Three, four, five, six.

Duran Duran. Your turn.

All right.

Come on, baby, come on.

Five! All right!

One, two, three, four...

"Take a bummer card."

Uh-oh.

Okay, all right. Let's see.

"You have just been thrown

out of a rock concert

for making

too little noise.

Walk across pond

without falling off rocks."

Oh. Tough luck, Dad.

I know.

All right, the pond.

On the rocks, here we go.

Heh-heh-heh.

Storm warning.

Gusty winds!

[LAUGHING]

[BLOWS]

Whoa!

Isn't this fun, huh?

You and me working together?

Yeah. What if we change

the name to Rock Express?

Rock Express.

I like that.

This game just gets

better and better.

Yeah. Now all we have to do is

find a box big enough

to hold it.

If we keep working on it

and it comes along fast enough,

we could take this

to the toy show.

Dad, that's

major-league stuff.

I know, all the big companies

will be there.

Think I'm ready for that?

Sure you are.

You got brains, creativity,

and a father who owns

a toy company.

I cannot believe

this is happening.

Well, it is.

We're in business together.

Stratton and son.

Stratton and Stratton.

You're my partner.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

I'll get that.

Hello.

Stratton and Stratton.

Stratton speaking.

Oh, hi, Kim.

Hurry it up, okay, Rick?

How's it going?

Terrific!

I think this could catch on...

in large living rooms.

Well, I'm just happy

to see you guys together.

Father and son,

son and father.

You know

who's responsible?

You.

I know.

I'm gonna get a piece

of melba toast.

My kisses do that to women.

You ready, son?

Just a sec.

Yeah, it should sell millions.

I'm thinking of buying

a pro wrestler.

I wanna name him

the Gut Twister.

Before you become a patron

of the performing arts,

we gotta finish this, huh?

Hold on.

Sure, I'll name a game

after you someday.

Kim, I gotta go.

Bye.

Women. They sure

can chatter, huh?

Thought we were gonna

limit calls while working?

Dad, I can't quit

cold turkey.

Okay, back to business.

Now, in order to get out of

the pond, I can roll eight

or trade in my backstage pass

for a canoe.

Since when?

Since yesterday.

Didn't you take notes?

My mind is my notebook.

How about using your notebook

as a notebook?

I don't forget things.

Go ahead.

Ask me anything about this game.

Okay. How much are tickets

to a Madonna concert?

Ask me something else.

See, I took

tons and tons of notes

when I developed

The Flying Gelato Brother, hm?

Watch this one.

Ready?

[LAUGHS]

Huh? Ha-ha!

See? That's why

this is gonna be a smash

at the toy convention.

Oh, yeah?

Well, he hasn't come face

to face with Rock Express yet.

You know,

I've been thinking...

about the mugger.

Every time you say,

"You know, I've been thinking,"

you want

to change something.

We don't need the mugger.

He creates a sense of danger.

What would you put

in a park at midnight?

A ballerina?

Cardboard cutouts

drive up production costs.

There's never been a successful

board game over $ .

There's never been a game

this much fun, either.

All right,

let's not argue, huh?

Okay.

The mugger's out.

The groupie's a little shaky.

Why not take an arm

and a leg while you're at it?

Why is it that nothing

I say counts here?

That's not true.

I'd make more decisions

if I was a houseplant.

"If I were a houseplant."

You weren't even listening,

were you?

Now, hold on a minute.

I listen to what you say

very carefully

before I say no.

Developing

a board game together

is a matter

of give and take.

I can't work

under these conditions.

Dad, all this second-guessing

stuff stifles my creativity.

Let's just take a break.

You said that we'd be partners.

Well, partners

try to work together.

Obviously, we can't.

Why don't we take

the "and Stratton"

out of

Stratton and Stratton.

I'm taking my game

to another company.

I'll risk it.

Ha!

Ha!

I hope that's part

of the game.

It is.

The end.

You know what I hated the most

when I was single?

Eating alone.

The silence drove me nuts.

But now that I have a family,

oh, boy.

The talk that goes on

at this table, heh.

Current events, sports...

politics, books,

movies, television.

It's all I can do to keep up

with you guys. Heh-heh-heh.

Pass the bread, please.

Bread!

I'd love to. Here.

Butter, please.

Butter, of course!

Terrific. Bread, butter.

A whole complete thing

there... Sort of.

Ahem, Rick.

You know, I've been reading

a book by Dr. Oswald Kent,

Fathers and Sons,

The Eternal Conflict.

Sounds like a thick book.

No pictures either.

[FORCED GIGGLING]

Anyway, ahem, he says that

it's normal development

for fathers and teenage sons

to go through this.

It's hard to explain.

Let me show you.

Say you're the salt.

Why can't I be the pepper?

All right. You can be

the pepper.

This is good.

Now, when you were younger,

you looked to the salt

for guidance and seasoning.

As you get older,

it's natural that you want

to become your own condiment.

Yeah, I'm hoping to be paprika.

Maybe someday I'll meet

some cute oregano.

And have little peppers

of your own. Ha-ha-ha!

[SIGHS]

Kate, please.

What I'm trying to tell you

is that most boys your age

are fighting

for their own identities.

To do so,

they have to contradict

every idea their fathers have.

I don't agree with that.

[KNOCK ON DOOR]

Come in.

Hi, Alfonso.

Hi, how are you?

You're still eating?

No, no, we're done.

We had a hamburger with

a heavy helping of psychology.

So how's the game going?

Terrific.

Several companies

have expressed interest

in returning my calls.

[SIGHS]

I feel terrible.

I suggested you develop

this game together.

No, don't blame yourself.

It was a good idea.

Well, I have

an even better one.

I'm not sure our marriage

could handle another good idea.

I'm sorry, honey.

What's your good idea?

Let's put Rock Express

in our booth at the toy show.

Or let's put these plates

on our head

and walk into the wall.

Edward, this is serious.

I like Rick's game,

and it would mean

so much to Rick

to see his game sell.

Mm-hm, and what if it didn't?

Then he'd be humiliated.

You know how rough

the toy business is.

It's worse than dog eat dog.

It's stuffed dog

eat stuffed dog.

Even if it is

a rough business,

I think Rick wants

to take his sh*t.

Mm-hm. Alone, without me.

Didn't you ever feel that way

about your father?

Ever since I was

and I had a lemonade stand.

My father supplied the lemons,

the pitcher, the ice cubes.

You were partners.

Exactly, and he said to me,

"Every nickel you earn...

I shall take four cents."

Rough man. I could never

do anything right by him.

Maybe Rick feels

the same way right now.

Honey, you know

I'd love to help Rick out,

but realistically, there's only

so much space in our booth.

Oh, we can make room.

Do you feel strongly

enough about this

to cut down the size of

your Berserk Warrior display?

What do you mean, cut down?

May have to give up

your walk-through dungeon.

Not my walk-through dungeon.

Okay.

Okay, we'll give Rick a sh*t.

Oh!

Do you want to tell him?

You want him

to accept the offer?

I'll tell him.

One, two, three, four.

Uh-oh, take a Destiny card.

Yeah, I've been

waiting for this one.

"You've just won two tickets.

Your cousin's best friend's

sister lives next door

to Springsteen's bass player's

father's brother-in-law."

This is a great game.

It's so real!

How's it going?

Got all the kinks worked out?

That's the amazing thing

about this game.

There are no kinks.

It's just fun.

Yeah. I've got

good news for you.

Your father's going to give you

part of the Eddie Toys booth.

He is?

Uh-huh.

Yes! Wait a minute.

Do I have to say I'm sorry?

No.

Yes!

Means a lot to you, doesn't it?

Yes!

Well, it does.

Man, this is gonna be great.

I'm gonna sell a million

of these games. Know why?

This is one board game

that has it all.

Yes!

Yes!

In short, this is one

board game that has it all:

thrills, action,

adventure, and...

public transportation, ha!

Rock Express!

The game that dares you

to get to a rock concert.

The order forms

are right here.

Only a few left.

Please, no pushing.

No pushing.

Now, the nice things

about my blocks is...

each side

is a different color.

There's blue...

and yellow...

and pink...

and green.

Well, you sold me,

Bernard.

I'll take sets.

Me too. Make it .

What's your secret?

Boldness.

No two Ks

are the same color.

Oh.

No, all the Os

are the same color.

Unpredictability

is also important.

Rock Express. Some pieces

are the same color,

and some pieces aren't.

Poor kid. Nobody's

even stopping.

Wanna hear what I think

you should do?

Based on your track record

so far? No.

KATE:

I can't bear to watch this.

I know. I can't either.

I gotta do something.

Hey, Wally.

Hi, Edward.

Hi, how you doing?

Listen, there's a board game

you ought to check out.

Oh, yeah? Why?

They say it'll be

the latest rage.

It'll make a trivia question

out of Trivial Pursuit.

Heh. Is it moving?

Well, I'd hate

to see you miss out.

Ha-ha!

Yeah.

That look on Wally's face...

He's up to something,

isn't he?

I better check it out.

Yeah.

Hey, kid,

what have you got?

A brand-new experience

in board games.

It's called Rock Express.

It features

a giant game board.

That's not new.

You see, the object

of this game

is to get to a rock concert,

past different obstacles.

How much does this game cost?

Well, it's only $ . .

[BOTH LAUGHING]

What are you, nuts?

A teenager with bucks

in his pocket

is gonna go

to a rock concert,

not buy a game about one.

That price isn't written

in stone.

What else you got?

You're just in time

to see a demonstration

of our hot new item.

Ladies and gentlemen,

everybody, everybody,

step right up.

See the amazing,

death-defying daredevil.

The fabulous

Flying Gelato Brother.

[HUMS FANFARE]

You may ask why the last

remaining Gelato brother

insist on being sh*t

out of a cannon?

Because the circus

couldn't find another man

of his caliber.

[ALL LAUGHING]

The cannon will sh**t

our Gelato brother

into our toy safety net.

Happy landings, Antonio.

Wait a minute.

What was that?

[MUMBLING]

Antonio insists, because

this is a special occasion,

to be sh*t through...

a ring of fire!

CROWD: Ooh!

Oh, no!

You mustn't let him do it.

You know that crazy Antonio.

You can't talk him

out of anything.

The ring of fire!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen...

the Flying Gelato Brother.

[DRUM ROLL]

Three...

two...

one...

fire!

[CROWD CHEERS]

Oh!

[PANICKED SCREAMING]

Don't panic! Don't panic!

Don't panic!

All part of the act. Ha-ha!

KATE:

Slight technical problem.

EDWARD:

Quick!

[GROANS]

Okay. All right, over...

Dad!

[EDWARD YELLS]

[RICKY EXCLAIMS]

All right!

Ha!

Whew!

[LAUGHING]

Oh, boy.

That was exciting.

All right, truce.

Truce.

Truce, truce.

[SPITS]

Okay, guys,

just stand right there,

and I'll get some towels.

I'm sorry the Flying Gelato

Brother was such a dud.

Well, it wasn't a total loss.

Kate scored big

with her Berserk Warrior.

Heh. I can't believe

people want a plastic Viking

with a bad attitude.

That's why you develop so many

different kinds of toys.

You never know

what's gonna sell.

Heh. Thanks for trying to help

me out with the buyers.

Yeah. Thanks for helping me put

out the Frying Gelato brother.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I think you're pretty terrific,

you know that?

I think you're a great dad.

So why do we have fights?

Well, fighting isn't fun, but

it's nothing to be afraid of.

Shows we care about each other.

Heh. So the next time we fight,

I should be happy?

It's only natural for fathers

and sons to butt heads, I guess.

I was hoping we could avoid that

by becoming partners.

So was I.

But I found out

that no matter what we do,

I'll always be your father.

Part of the job

is offering my opinion,

whether you like it or not.

[CHUCKLES]

Even if I live to be

and you're ?

Yeah, afraid so.

I'll probably be saying, "Son...

use a longer cane."

[SNORES]

Why don't we stick to stuff

we're good at together,

like tennis?

You're right!

We're great tennis partners.

Devastating.

KATE:

You know, heh, you guys

looked so goofy, ha!

Well, uh...I know something

that we can do together.

What's that?

Have you noticed

I'm a globby mess,

you're a globby mess,

but Kate got off scot-free?

Now that you mention it...

[EDWARD CHUCKLES]

[WHISTLING TUNE]

Oh, you're sitting on my chairs.

Oh...

that's too bad!

[SCREAMS]

[LAUGHING]

[♪♪♪]