04x18 - One for the Road: Part 2

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find

Our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time

Each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons

Together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

[♪♪♪]

Hey, did you ever

see so much booze in your life?

Wow! What a party, huh?

I can't face my parents

like this.

Are your eyes

bloodshot?

Oh. Well, yes, they are, sir.

They always get like this when

I'm coming down with the flu.

Boy, you guys are amazing.

Where do you get your energy,

out of a bottle?

[LAUGHS]

Well, goodbye, Mr. Stratton.

I want to dance.

Sit down, Greg.

I wanna dance. Come on.

Look, I think we should go.

He's pretty drunk.

Hey, nobody's drunk.

OFFICER:

Police. What's going on here?

We found your son

and some of his friends

drinking in the back

of a parked car.

There must be some mistake.

[♪♪♪]

How was the party?

Fine.

I especially enjoyed

your halftime show

with the policeman.

I'm sorry, Dad.

I guess it's pretty embarrassing

to have your son

dragged in by the cops

in front of those people, huh?

No more embarrassing

than telling your friends

you've been grounded

for two months for drinking.

Now, Dad, don't jump

to conclusions.

I know you may find this

hard to believe,

but I wasn't

drinking tonight.

The cops found you

in the backseat of a convertible

with a blonde in one hand

and a beer in the other.

True or false?

True.

I wasn't drinking it.

I was holding it,

like they do in

beer commercials. Ha, ha.

Honest, Dad.

You weren't

drinking?

Nope.

Not tonight.

What do you mean,

not tonight?

Well, you're not going

to like this,

but, well, last night

I did drink...

But not nearly as much

as the others.

What others?

The other kids at the party.

What party?

I knew you

weren't gonna like this.

Last night Greg and I

snuck out to a party,

and I did a little drinking.

Actually,

I did a lot of drinking.

I got

a little sick too.

The veins in your neck

are starting to pop.

I don't believe this.

Sneaking out, drinking.

What else have you been doing

I don't know about?

Well, there was--

I don't want to hear about it.

Dad, I know it was stupid,

and I'm really sorry.

I'm really sorry too.

Rick, drinking at your age

is illegal. It's dangerous.

Why would you do

a thing like this?

Dad, it was there.

Everyone else was drinking.

And you couldn't say no?

Dad, I couldn't say no.

I would've felt like a wimp.

This is the last thing

I'd expect from you.

Well, like I said,

you're grounded

for two months.

Right.

No TV.

Right.

No stereo.

Stereo?

Right.

Dad, believe me,

I really am sorry.

I am too.

[KNOCK ON WINDOW]

Greg, what are you

doing here?

Well, I was out for a walk

on your roof

and just thought

I'd drop in. Heh.

Look, you have

to leave.

I'm in enough

trouble already.

What are you so uptight about?

The cops let us go.

Yeah, but my dad hasn't.

He's put me in solitary

for the next two months.

Big deal. Mine kicked me

out the front door.

That's awful.

I was lucky.

His first choice

was out

the second-floor window.

Where are you gonna stay?

Well, I was hoping to stay

with this real good friend,

who lives in this great

big house. What do you say?

No, no way.

What am I supposed to do, sack

out in some alley with weirdos?

Seriously, Rick, tell me where

I can go and I'll go there.

Your parents

won't take you back?

Come on.

What about

your relatives?

I haven't got any.

Well, what about some of

your drinking buddies?

You can't rely

on people who drink.

So... You're it.

Greg, my dad knows you drink.

He's never gonna

let you stay here.

[EXHALES]

Here.

Are you kidding?

I've quit for life.

I want you to pour it

down the sink.

What?

You got a Bible?

Yeah. Why?

As of right now,

I swear,

I'm on the wagon,

but I need help,

Rick.

Give me a break, huh?

Talk to your parents...

Please?

Remember when

he was ?

All the bad things

he did were so...

good.

"Dad, I busted

the TV.

Dad, I spray-painted

the cat."

Those kinds of things,

I could handle.

Well, if it makes you

feel any better,

he broke your tennis

racket yesterday.

Hi.

Dad, I need to ask

for kind of a favor.

Rick, you want some advice?

Ask me for favors

on the nights

you don't get arrested.

Dad, it's not for me.

It's for Greg. He's in my room.

Greg?

What's he doing here?

His dad kicked him out tonight.

For doing the same thing

you did?

Mm-hmm.

He needs a place to stay.

He wants to know

if we can help him out.

I don't know.

Aren't we butting in

where we don't belong?

Probably. I'd hate to see

someone kicked out

twice in one night.

So I can tell him

he can stay?

He can stay,

but house rules.

Okay.

How can parents just

bail out on their kids?

Well, we don't know

the whole story.

His parents could be

worried sick about him.

I'm going to call them.

Don't you think it's late

to be calling?

If your son was wandering

the streets, could you sleep?

Hello, Mr. Mitchell?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean

to wake you.

This is Kate Stratton.

I just wanted to let you know

Greg will be spending

the night with us.

What'd he say?

He said, "Good luck."

"And I'm pleased

to announce

that last week's

Monte Carlo night"--

[BALL BOUNCING]

"Last week's Monte Carlo night

raised over $

for the camp fund."

Applause, applause, applause.

RICK:

Hey, all right!

Two points, man.

Seven days in a house

with two grounded teenagers.

How many more days are we

gonna have to put up with this?

Forty-nine.

This is really gonna

hurt me more than it does him.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

We're having halibut

for dinner,

if that's all right

with you.

Oh, isn't Greg allergic

to seafood?

That's what he told me.

Marie, I know

how you feel about Greg,

but we can't just

turn our backs on him.

I wouldn't turn my back

on him, either.

[DOORBELL CHIMES]

Coming!

Hello, Marie!

Hi, Dexter.

Hi, Dexter.

Hey, Dex.

Did you hire

Bo-Bo the clown?

Bo-Bo the bandit's

is more like it.

That twit wanted bucks.

We still have

to hire somebody.

We promised to entertain the

kids when we present the check.

Well, I have a friend who eats

live snakes for $ .

Never mind. It's taken care of.

I will do it.

I went by this magic shop,

pick up some props

and how-to books.

They are fabulous!

I used to dabble

in magic!

I've been practicing. Aha!

[LAUGHS]

That's not bad.

Ah!

Not bad? That's wonderful!

I think that's a great idea.

Thanks. I'm glad to hear

you say that. Shall we?

Shall we... What?

We've got work

to do, you know--

effects, sleight of hand,

misdirection.

What?

Well, every magician

needs a lovely assistant,

Kate.

I'll do it.

You can't be

the lovely assistant.

You have to be the lovely

master of ceremonies.

Back.

I can do magic tricks.

Can you make Greg disappear?

Here ya go.

All right.

That was hot.

We're in there,

all right.

Dad, it's great you're doing

this camp fund thing.

You have a real sense

of charity,

and the things that go with it,

forgiveness,

leniency--

Nice try, Rick.

You're still grounded.

See? I told you

it wouldn't work.

Hey, what's this?

It's got my name on it.

I ordered it

for you.

A present?

While you're grounded?

Really? What is it?

Just a little something

to help you pass the time.

In a plain

brown wrapper?

I love it already. Ha, ha.

The Facts About Alcoholism.

I called a friend of mine

in Alcoholics Anonymous,

had him send out stuff.

I want you to read it.

[SCOFFS]

Dad, don't you think

you're overreacting?

No, I don't. I'm not gonna be

looking over your shoulder

all your life.

You should know

a few facts about drinking.

A few facts?

You've got lots of time.

Greg, you should

take a look at that too.

Well, I intend to, sir.

Thanks a lot.

Yecch!

I think I'm all right.

I only touched it

for a second.

Wait a minute. You're not

gonna read this stuff?

You just told

my dad you would.

I haven't touched a drink

since being here, have I?

Well, no, but--

Then I don't need these.

"Is drinking jeopardizing

your job or business?"

[SCOFFS]

See? This stuff

isn't for me.

No, but maybe this one is.

"How young people can tell

drinking is a problem."

"Do you lose time

from school

because of

your drinking?"

No, never.

"Does it bother you if somebody

says maybe you drink too much?"

No! And you're really

making me mad.

[♪♪♪]

Glad to see you're catching up

on your reading.

Oh, yeah.

One more pamphlet,

and I'll need to have

my eyes rotated.

Where's Greg?

He went to talk to his dad

about letting him come home.

Hope he has more luck

with his father than Kate did.

So do I.

He said seeing

the way you and I get along

gave him

the courage to try.

You don't give up,

do you?

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I'll tell you what. I'll drop

the grounding for a few hours

We're giving the check

to the camp tonight.

I thought you might want

to see the presentation.

Can Greg come with us?

You know,

just in case it's boring.

Thanks a lot.

Oh, Dad,

I didn't mean your speech,

I meant the other things,

like...

Well, you know, the--

I'm gonna call Greg now

and see if he can come.

Maybe Marie

will come too...

If I pay her.

Hello, Mr. Mitchell,

this is Rick Stratton.

Could I speak to Greg,

please?

He's not there?

Well,

when did he leave?

He's never been there?

Well, he left here

over an hour ago.

Never mind.

I'm sorry to bother you.

[♪♪♪]

[EDWARD & DEXTER

MUTTERING INDISTINCTLY]

When the curtains open,

I'll step forward and say:

"And now, ladies and gentlemen,

the great Dexterino

will perform his...

sawing my wife in half trick."

He seldom misses.

So why am I in here?

Kate's not ready yet,

and Dexter's gotta rehearse.

Can you hurry it up?

It's packed in here.

Just a second.

Wait a minute.

What are you doing?

You want me to get this right?

Sure do.

I just mopped this floor.

Oh.

Listen,

I can't do this.

Why not?

I don't even like slicing bread.

I love slicing bread.

Let me do it.

[CHUCKLES]

Well, Marie.

Dad, I think I'm gonna

stay home after all.

Why, don't you wanna see me

pull a rabbit out of a hat?

How about pulling

a lady out of a box?

Now, wait a minute.

No. Take her out,

she's a coward.

All right. All right.

What's the matter?

I can't get it.

Let me try.

Aah!

Here, here.

[GRUNTS]

I'll go get a crowbar.

Honey, guess what?

You're going to be my assistant.

I not gonna be

anybody's assistant.

Why not?

How come you're wearing

a raincoat?

It is this stupid costume.

I cannot wear it

in front of people.

Can't be that bad.

Oh, no?

Look at this.

Isn't it awful?

Thank you.

Really, sweetheart,

I think that's

in perfectly good taste.

Don't you, Marie?

Yeah, what there was of it.

Marie, I didn't see you there.

Well, I saw you.

[♪♪♪]

[SIGHS]

Hey there, bud. Heh.

Whoa!

Problem, Greg?

No, just clumsy.

You know me. Heh.

Yeah, I do.

So, how'd it go with your dad?

You know, it was a lot better

than I thought

it would be.

We were talking

like a real family for once.

My dad even hugged me

on my way out.

It was kinda nice.

Gee, that's a real

heartwarming story.

You should tell it

to your dad sometime.

I called him, Greg.

You never got there.

I'll explain that.

Yeah?

Can you explain this?

That would be

a little harder.

Do you think

I'm some kind of idiot?

A -year-old could tell

you've been drinking.

Okay, warden, you caught me.

I surrender.

Go ahead

and put the cuffs on me.

You've got a drinking problem,

Greg.

Making jokes won't change it.

[SCOFFS]

You're right, Rick.

I'm sorry.

I'm stopping tomorrow.

Yeah...

Yeah, sure you are.

I fell off the wagon.

I know I was stupid.

Greg, you're not stupid,

you're sick.

Look, this is getting old

real fast, Stratton.

I may drink, but I

don't have a problem.

I drink for fun.

Sure.

"You drink in the morning?

Hide your liquor?

You drink alone?"

Is that fun?

I know a lot of kids

like that.

So do I.

They're alcoholics too.

Now, look!

I don't need you

to get on my case.

I can get that

from my old man.

Greg, face it.

You can't stop drinking

on your own.

Give me this.

You want me

to lock myself up

just 'cause you read a pamphlet?

Forget it!

Greg, you can't

stay here anymore.

What?

No, you heard me.

If I let you stay here,

you're just gonna keep drinking.

[SCOFFS]

I thought

you were my friend.

Greg,

don't you understand?

I am your friend.

Look, all you've gotta do

is pick up the phone.

Oh, sure, I get it.

You're too good to have some

wino stinkin' up your house?

Well, I'll see you around,

friend!

Greg,

where are you going?

That's my problem,

rich boy.

Yo, how can a person

watch wrestling

with all this fighting

going on?

Greg, wait!

It's nothing, Marie.

Well, for nothing, it sure

sounded like something.

And that door

shouldn't be open.

I'll get it.

Don't worry.

[CAR ENGINE STARTS]

Oh, no!

Greg, stop!

[CRASH]

[RICK GROANS]

Lo-- Oh, God!

GREG:

Go help Rick!

He's hurt!

I'll call an ambulance.

Yeah, hello?

We need a paramedic.

There was a bad accident.

Please, I don't believe this.

So, what do you

want now?

Could I have another glass

of milk?

You pressed my button

for that?

[SCOFFS]

Hi.

Oh, my God.

Rick...

Are you all right?

I'm okay, really, Dad.

If it weren't for the sprain,

concussion, and stitches,

I'd feel great.

Marie said you tried to stop

Greg from taking my car.

He was drunk.

I couldn't let him drive.

So you let him

back over you?

It was an accident.

When I get my hands

on that kid--

Dad.

He's an alcoholic.

He didn't know

what he was doing.

Son, there is no excuse

for what he did.

Excuse me.

You, out!

[CLEARS THROAT]

Edward, this is a hospital.

[WHISPERING GRUFFLY]

You, out!

I know I'm not

wanted around here,

but, please, can I

talk to Rick for a second?

You don't think

you've done enough?

Dad, it's okay.

We'll be right out

in the hall, son.

Bet the chicks really go for

that outfit, huh?

What do you want

from me, Greg?

I came to say I'm sorry, Rick.

I really hope we can

still be friends.

What do you say?

I say forget it.

Rick--

You know, I trusted you.

You let me down.

You're right. I did.

You don't need friends.

You don't even want friends.

Can't argue with that.

Stop agreeing with me.

It's really annoying.

You're right.

I'll stop.

Greg, you can do whatever

you want 'cause I don't care.

Just don't bug me

anymore.

Hi.

How are you doing?

Okay, I guess.

Excuse me. Hello?

I'm the patient.

I guess you didn't

notice me.

I'm being very brave

about the pain.

Oh. Well, Greg is a friend.

It's all right.

I was going to tell him

as soon as he stopped

yelling at me.

Wendy's the ward nurse

for the CDC.

What's that?

The Chemical Dependency Center.

I'm checking myself in.

I know it's not gonna

solve everything,

but at least it's a start.

Is he serious?

Yes, he is.

Greg, we have

to be getting back now.

Just a second.

You know, I always had

these really good reasons

for drinking,

like moving around

all the time

and my dad acting

like such a creep,

but I saw what I did

to you tonight,

Rick, and, well...

Greg, your parents

are downstairs.

We really should get started

on the paperwork.

Yeah, okay.

I'm sorry I laid you up

like this, Rick.

If there's any way

I can make it up to you...

Really.

You could take driving lessons.

You guys aren't gonna

believe this.

Greg checked into

a treatment center.

He did?

Yeah, just now.

Well,

that's good news.

That's wonderful.

I'm sure you feel

a lot better.

I'll tell you what would

really make me feel better--

Getting Greg

to trade nurses.

I heard that.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]