[♪♪♪]
♪ Here we are
Face to face ♪
♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪
♪ Hoping to find
We're two of a kind ♪
♪ Making a go
Making it grow ♪
♪ Together
We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together
Taking the time each day ♪
♪ To learn all about ♪
♪ Those things
You just can't buy ♪
♪ Two silver spoons
Together ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ You and I ♪
♪ Together ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ We're gonna find our way ♪
♪ Together ♪
Stratton fakes left...
Fakes right. Stratton pivots.
[DOORBELL CHIMING]
Stratton answers the door.
[GROANS]
Hey, Brad.
Hi, Rick.
I was leaving for
basketball practice. Wanna come?
I can't. My uncle d*ed.
It's a real bummer.
Oh, man, I'm sorry to hear that.
Were you close?
I never met him.
Well, then why so down?
Well, my parents are flying
to Chicago for the funeral,
and I gotta stay
with my Aunt Bessie.
Not the one who clicks her teeth
in time to Lawrence Welk?
She thinks Bruce Springsteen
is an orthopedic mattress.
Ooh!
I mean, I'm going to be
cooped up with her
in this teensy-weensy apartment.
I mean, it's nothing
compared to this place.
Then again, hey,
what could compare to this?
Once you get back--
I mean,
with all these extra rooms...
No!
No, no, no, no, no. Wait
a minute. You can't stay here.
And why not?
Don't you remember the last time
you stayed overnight?
Brad, it wasn't even overnight.
My dad was so sick of you,
he drove you home
by in the morning.
Well, look,
that was the old Brad Langford.
I've matured since then.
That was two weeks ago, Brad.
Hey, please, Rick.
Hey, it'd be an act of faith
in friendship if you swung me
a pass at the Stratton Hilton.
Okay. Look, Brad,
I'll go talk to my dad,
but don't get your hopes up.
Hey, thanks man. You're a pal.
What a guy! What a friend!
Right.
EDWARD:
What?!
It would only be
for a couple of days, Dad.
Rick, don't you remember
what he did
in the garage
last time he was here?
Dad, come on. You were gonna
paint your car anyway.
What about the time
he set off the smoke alarm?
Dad, it was an accident.
Rick, you don't read
under the covers by candlelight.
Dad, please?
Come on, son,
we can't have
a house guest now.
I'm up against a deadline
on these production schedules.
Dad, he says his aunt lives
in a one-room apartment
with nine cats.
Yeah, and-and there's been
a death in his family.
Was Brad involved in any way?
Sorry.
Well, you should be.
All right. All right.
He can stay,
but no reading in bed, and I
don't want any major disasters.
All right.
Wonderful!
Hey, Brad, guess what?
Yes, Richard?
My father says you can stay.
Oh, thank you, sir!
You won't be sorry.
Aah! Ooh! Aah!
[♪♪♪]
[BRAD GULPS, THEN SIGHS]
Hey, Mr. Stratton,
you gonna eat that chop?
Well, actually, I was--
Thanks!
My, you have
quite an appetite, Brad.
You should see him
when he's hungry.
Well, I find I can get more down
if I don't chew.
Well, honey,
that was delicious...apparently.
Well, Kate, I'll help you
clear up the dishes.
Yeah.
Hey, hey, hey! Not so fast.
[♪♪♪]
Hey, Letterman's
really cookin' tonight, huh?
[SIGHS]
Of course, he is, Brad.
He doesn't have to get up for
school at tomorrow morning.
Oh, Beach Blanket Bingo's
coming is on.
Frankie Avalon
is my favorite actor.
Brad, don't you ever get sleepy?
No. Must be my metabolism.
I could cram a whole night's
sleep into just a couple hours.
Well, do me a favor.
Please start cramming.
Hey, look, if you wanna
go to sleep, just say so.
I wanna go to sleep.
Ah, you're just saying that.
Boy, I'm starved this morning.
Where are the eggs?
Brad ate them.
[SIGHS]
Where's my cantaloupe?
Well, he said he needed
something to mop up his yolk.
Where's the juice?
The human vacuum cleaner
got that too.
I'll just have cereal.
But not today.
Relax, hon. I mean,
it's his last day.
He goes home this afternoon.
I'll restock the house.
We'll be back to normal.
I can't wait!
Yeah.
Boy, you two sure do
a lot of that, don't ya?
Morning, Brad.
Yeah, morning.
Oh!
Brad!
What's in the basket?
Oh, my laundry. I did it myself.
I didn't wanna be a bother.
Oh.
I even did some of your stuff.
Uh...
Is this your sweater?
Oh, no, my Louis Ramon!
Yeah, that's the one.
Look at it.
Ought to fit real
terrific now, huh?
Maybe I can stretch it back out.
I think Kate's a little upset
with you, Brad.
Hey, I just wanted
to do something nice
for the people
who are nice to me.
Here, I got your morning paper
off the lawn.
The Armenian Gazette.
We don't take this paper.
That's what the guy was yelling
out the window next door.
[SIGHS]
Well, I-I took out the trash.
Thank you.
I-I got everything.
The kitchen, the bathrooms,
papers off the library floor.
That was very nice of you--
The papers
off the library floor?!
Yep!
You threw them away?
Every single one of 'em.
Brad, that was
my production schedule
for our new line of toys.
I was laying them out
for the printer.
Okay. Okay. No problem.
They're right outside.
Man! Who can sleep
with the garbage truck
making all that noise?
Oh, no!
What's with him?
He lost some papers.
Well, today's your last day,
huh, Brad?
Yeah. Yeah, we had fun,
didn't we?
Oodles. Heh.
Hey, wait. Brad,
isn't that my shirt?
Yeah, well, it's a little snug,
but it goes great
with these pants.
Those are my pants!
Yeah, I didn't think you'd mind.
Well, I do mind, Brad.
Take them off right now.
Hey, okay, okay.
No problem.
Brad, I don't mean here.
I mean upstairs.
All right.
Ah, it's too bad.
I was gonna leave a buck
in the pocket.
It's hopeless. It's ruined.
Brad?
I actually had to fight the
garbage man to get this back.
Brad?
Need you ask?
How could one kid
mess up so much?
Practice, practice, practice.
How does he find time
to mess up,
considering he eats
hours a day?
And the other four,
he flosses in front of you.
Shh! He's right upstairs.
[PHONE RINGING]
Yeah? Hello?
Yes, operator.
I'll accept the charges.
Brad's father.
Hello, Mr. Langford.
We were just talking
about your son.
Fine boy.
How is the funeral?
Uh-huh.
Well, how long does it take
to contest a will?
That long?
Well, sure.
We'll be glad to let him
stay a little longer.
But, yes, I'll be glad
to tell him.
Uh, fine. Bye.
How long?
Well, they're having
a little trouble.
How long?
They're contesting a will.
They're bringing in a lawyer.
How long?
At least a week!
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
Kate, come here, quick!
What?
Look, food!
Oh, Brad must still be sleeping.
Quick, let's eat it
before he gets up.
Has anyone seen Brad?
No. Quick! Eat!
Dad, I'm serious.
He's not upstairs.
Well,
isn't he still in bed?
He is nowhere upstairs,
and his bag is gone.
His bag is gone? Uh-oh!
What uh-oh?
Suppose he overheard
our conversation yesterday?
Suppose he did?
All we said was...
Oh, boy.
I never should have
mentioned those things
about the way he eats.
Now I feel awful.
No, guys. I'm the one
who should feel guilty.
I complained the most
about him rooming with me.
Yeah, and about how he's always
taking your clothes.
No, I'm the one
who jumped all over him
for throwing my papers away.
If anybody is to blame, it's me.
Yep, it's Dad.
No question about it.
Wait a minute.
As I recall,
all of us had
a few things to say.
Come on, Dad. You're wasting
time passing the buck.
Brad has run away,
and we've gotta find him.
He's right.
Yeah, I get it. All right.
Just stop and think.
Now where would you go
if you were in Brad's shoes?
That's not gonna work.
Why not?
Because he's wearing my shoes.
[♪♪♪]
I don't believe it.
We've covered every inch of this
town and no sign of Brad.
And-and none of his friends
have seen him?
Kate,
I checked with both of them.
I still don't understand
why the police won't help.
Because they don't consider
a person missing
until he's gone hours.
Don't they know how much damage
that kid can do in hours?
Hi.
Brad!
Hey, where were you guys?
I had to make my own snacks.
Brad, where were you?
In the kitchen.
No, he means before that.
Oh, I was at hockey practice.
Hockey practice?
Yeah, I had to be there
at a.m.
It's the only time
we can get the rink.
Why didn't you tell us
you were leaving at that hour?
I didn't wanna wake any one up.
Well, that was very considerate,
but we were all
worried about you.
Sorry. Look, tomorrow morning,
I'll try and make more noise.
Hey Rick, you wanna go upstairs
and watch The Three Stooges?
That Curly's my favorite actor.
[IMITATES CURLY]
Hey, Mo!
Brad, I-I'll pass.
Your loss. Woo-woo-woo-
woo-woo-woo-woo!
Whoo! What a relief.
Yeah, no kidding.
Well, I am starved.
Boy, scouring that city
really builds an appetite.
You hungry?
Yeah.
I think I'll have something.
Yeah.
I'll have some of that too.
Oh, no!
Looks like the Russian calvary
came through.
No, just their horses.
And this was just a snack.
Eew!
Remember when I said I take back
all those things
I said about Brad?
I take that back.
Oh!
No, I'm serious, honey.
Look at this mess.
The way he threw out my papers,
any dummy
knows the difference
between important papers
and trash.
Who fries blueberries?
The same guy who dries his socks
in the microwave.
No wonder his folks
don't wanna come home.
[ALL LAUGHING]
Brad, how long have you
been standing there?
Long enough.
[♪♪♪]
Yes, Sergeant Tollen, the kid
we're looking for is about .
And he has
sort of messy brown hair,
and he's wearing an old t-shirt
says "Brain Dead."
Yeah, and he-he's got
a-a hole in his jeans,
and, uh-- Oh, yeah,
he's wearing three earrings.
No, all in one ear.
Why do you mean
why do we want him back?
Look, sergeant, I happen to be a
very important taxpayer, and I--
Hello?
Well, what did the police say?
Call back in hours.
You have any luck?
No, he's not in the guest house,
and he's not in the green house.
Did you check the toolshed?
Well, he wouldn't go in there.
It's full of spiders.
Did you guys have any luck?
No.
Uh, me neither. Dad, Kate,
I looked everywhere.
Did you check all the places
I told you to check
when we thought Brad was
missing, and he wasn't missing?
Dad, I checked everywhere,
including the places
I didn't check
when he wasn't missing.
Can't say we didn't check.
Edward,
I'm really starting to worry.
I get scared thinking of Brad
out there all alone
and tired, hungry.
Brad, hungry?
Well, that is scary.
Oh, honey,
I'm just as worried as you are.
But I can't help feeling
once he calms down,
he's just gonna come back.
[DOORBELL RINGS]
See?! Ha-ha-ha!
Oh!
Uh, Mr. Langford,
what a surprise.
Hiya, kid.
Dad, Kate, Mr. Langford,
Brad's father is here.
Well, Brad told me your old man
was loaded, but this...
[WHISTLES]
Uh, hi. I'm Rick's old man,
and this is his...
Don't say it.
...stepmother.
I'm Danny.
My friends call me Slick.
Dad, I'm gonna go upstairs
and make a few phone calls.
Yes. Son, good idea.
You do that, yeah.
Uh, please, come on in,
Mr. Langford.
Uh-uh-uh. Slick.
Slick.
Whoo!
No wonder toys
are so overpriced,
when you have to shell out
for a place like this.
Listen, about Brad.
Who?
Your son.
Oh, yeah, sure.
What's he done now?
Nothing.
I kinda find that hard
to believe.
You know, Mr. Langford...
Ah!
Slick. Heh-heh.
Um, we were just
about to call you in Chicago.
We thought you were
contesting the will.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, you know,
good old Aunt Arlene
tried to pull a fast one.
But I threatened
to sue her buns off,
so she backed down.
Nice how families pull together
at a time like that.
You know,
they wanted me to go easy,
because everybody
was still in mourning.
But I said, what's the big deal?
If you're dead, you're dead.
That's life.
Now let's divvy up the loot!
Yeah, Alfonso,
I'm glad I caught you at home.
Listen, Brad is missing.
Yes, again.
Alfonso, it's not funny.
Look, Brad may not be perfect.
He is annoying
and a real pain in the butt,
but he is a human being.
You're laughing again.
Come on, Alfonso. He's my
friend. Would you quit it!
BRAD:
Thanks!
What?
BRAD:
For sticking up for me.
Brad?
You found me.
Brad,
this is a stupid place to hide.
But it worked, didn't it?
I apologize for those things
I said in the kitchen.
I didn't mean them.
Then why'd you say 'em?
Because I was mad.
When people get mad,
they say things
they don't always mean.
What do you mean?
You know we were
worried sick about you.
We looked all over town for you.
You did?
Where?
The movie houses,
the arcade, the mall.
Why'd you go through
all that trouble?
Because we care about you,
you moron.
See, there you go
calling me names again.
[BOTH YELL]
[CHUCKLES]
Look, man, the next time
you spend the night...
Yeah, I know, I know.
I got out of line.
I did a lot of dumb things,
like,
you know,
ruining Kate's sweater
and throwing away
your dad's papers
and breaking your Walkman.
Brad, those papers...
You broke my Walkman?
[SCOFFS]
Well, it works if you jiggle it.
Um, Brad,
your dad is here at last.
Come on. Help me pack.
Right.
Not only that,
on the flight to Chicago,
the stewardess charged me
$ for the headset.
The nerve of her.
But it comes out to two bucks
if you slip it into your pocket
and use it on the way back.
We'll keep that in mind.
Well, getting back to, uh,
what I was talking about
about Brad...
Uh, you see, Brad is...here.
Brad!
Oh, Brad, sweetheart!
You're here!
What is this, The Waltons?
Are we glad to see you!
Yeah, we're really sorry
about the things we said.
Hey, that's okay, Mrs. S.
We all get thoughtless
and insensitive at times.
Hey, hey, hey, kid!
Hey, hey, hey, Pop!
I brought you something back
from Chicago.
Some playing cards.
Wow! American Airlines.
Thanks, Dad!
Give me five!
Oh! Ha-ha-ha!
He kills me!
I wanna thank you
for letting him stay here.
He wasn't too much trouble,
was he?
Trouble?
Well...
At times, it was like
he wasn't even here.
Yeah.
[HORN HONKS]
Oh, that must be your cab.
That's just the wife.
Keep your shirt on! I'm coming!
Your wife has been in the car
all this time?
I left the windows open.
Kid, take a banana
to your mother.
Hey, man, thanks.
You're a real friend.
Nah, don't worry about it.
Let me take this for you.
Hey, you don't have to
walk me out.
I'm not.
I just wanna make sure
that you're really leaving.
Bye-bye!
Bye, Brad.
Bye, Brad.
Well, heh-heh...
it was certainly a pleasure
to meet you at last, Danny.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Listen, thanks for keeping
an eye on the kid.
Oh, anytime.
Really?
My wife and I are planning
a little anniversary trip
next month.
I'll keep you in mind.
Well, we'll be
looking forward to that.
Give us a call.
All right.
[CHUCKLES]
Give us a call?
Have you lost your mind?
Hello, operator, yes,
who do I talk to
to have our number changed?
[♪♪♪]
[♪♪♪]
05x14 - The House Guest
Watch/Buy Amazon
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.
Wealthy, young-at-heart business owner and playboy Edward Stratton III is stunned to discover his brief marriage several years ago produced a son, Richard who is now 12 and wanting to live with him.