05x15 - Band on the Run

[bunniefuu]

♪ Here we are ♪

♪ Face to face ♪

♪ A couple

Of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hopin' to find ♪

♪ We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Makin' a go ♪

♪ Makin' it grow ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find

Our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ Takin' the time

Each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons

Together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ We're gonna find

Our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find

Our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ You give me

Cool, cool love ♪

♪ I want your cool

Cool, cool, cool love ♪

Yo, Brad.

Brad.

Brad!

Huh?

What are you doing?

I was flying.

Would you mind flying

with the rest of the formation?

Brad, if we can't

finish a song together,

there's no way we're gonna win

the battle of bands.

Hey, relax. We're a cinch.

We got a hot sound,

good songs,

and most important...

Me.

I think we have an even bigger

problem than Brad.

What do you mean?

The opening song

just doesn't cut it.

What's wrong with it?

Well, for one thing,

it stinks.

You have

a better suggestion?

Yeah.

I think we should open up

with something

that really grabs them,

makes them

sit up and notice.

Like "Heart of Stone."

You sing that song.

Yeah.

Wait, guys.

That's not a bad idea.

Why don't we vote on it?

All right. All right.

All in favor of replacing

a never-fail opener

with a weak,

untested, clumsy ballad

that nobody understands.

Okay. Okay. Forget it.

I gotta get outta here.

What? No, Alfonso,

we have more rehearsing to do.

Well, I got a date...

With Kiki.

Again? You skipped out yesterday

to be with her.

I know.

And it was worth it.

What's more important,

our group or a woman?

Have a good time.

[♪♪♪]

Smells good, hon.

What's for dinner?

Prime rib.

[EXCLAIMS]

My favorite...

Coconut icing.

No, you don't.

Okay.

I'll get my own.

Ha-ha-ha!

No, Edward, don't!

Hot! Hot!

That was the horseradish

for the prime rib.

You could have warned me.

[KNOCKING]

I wonder

who that could be?

I hope the fire department.

Oh, Charles, hi.

Please come on in.

Hello, Kate. Edward.

Well, Charles I hope

Rick's band didn't disturb you?

I told him

to keep it down.

Actually, I rather enjoyed

the music.

It frightened all

the pigeons off my lawn.

Then it's

a friendly visit.

Actually, I've come

to ask a favor.

Anything for a neighbor.

I have to dash out of town

on business.

Problems in

the weapons industry?

Peace break out?

How amusing.

How about a soda?

No, thanks.

We're having problems with the

new m*ssile factory in Houston.

And I was wondering if you could

look after my orchid plants?

Sure. We oughtta be able

to handle your flowers.

Orchids.

Prize-Winning...

Priceless...

Irreplaceable...

Orchids.

Oh, those.

We'll just put them

in the greenhouse.

I don't think Will and Maxi

would like that.

Short for Wilsonara

and Maxillaria Orchidaceae.

Will and Maxi

sounds good to me.

They don't like

to be left alone.

They're used to being with me

in the house.

We'll keep them with us...

In the house.

I don't want to impose?

It really wouldn't be a problem.

Oh, I'm so pleased

to hear you say that.

Now. All you have to do

is mist them

four times a day,

nourish them with plant food

and vitamin compounds,

keep the temperature

and humidity stable,

and check the soil

for the proper pH balance.

Like Kate said,

ahem, no problem.

Then I'll

bring them over.

Oh...

I'm sure they're

going to like you.

Oh.

Toodle-oo.

Bye.

Bye-bye.

Edward, how do you tell

when a plant doesn't like you?

Oh, it's very subtle.

They promise to call,

but they never do.

[♪♪♪]

Newborn babies require

less equipment than this.

What's the lamp for?

To keep them warm

during the cool evenings.

According

to your notes,

if they get colder

than degrees, it's--

Bye-bye, buds.

Can you keep a secret?

Why not?

We're keeping everything else.

I think Will and Maxi

will soon be cross-germinating.

Cross-germinating?

Getting it on.

Of course, conditions

will have to be just right.

Have Will ask Maxi

out for a candlelight dinner.

Always worked for me.

Or a nice drive

out to Inspiration Point.

Which has never

worked for me.

It looks like

your instructions

are quite complete.

Is there anything else

that Edward needs to know?

Yes. Talk to them.

Talk?

Plants love

to be talked to.

Any particular subject?

Baseball? Movies?

Uh, politics?

Maybe they'd like

to watch TV?

Leaf it to Beaver.

Roots.

Happy Daisies.

Lafern and Shirley.

You are going

to take this seriously?

Yes, we are, Charles.

Now, don't worry.

Your orchids are in good hands.

Oh. Thank you.

Remember, you two.

You're guests here,

so behave yourselves.

Cheerio.

Bye-bye.

Isn't it nice to see such

devotion to a couple of plants?

We've lived next door

to that guy for years

I never saw

this side of him.

Yeah. I didn't know

he was a wacko either.

[♪♪♪]

♪ So dear ♪

♪ Miss lonely hearts ♪

♪ I'm countin'

On your advice ♪

♪ I been worn

And torn by love ♪

♪ And nothing seems

To come out right ♪

[PLAYS WRONG CHORD]

♪ So please help me... ♪

Ooh...

Guys, where did

that come from?

I'll give you a clue.

It was Alfonso.

Oh, hi.

Hi, Mrs. Stratton.

I'm Kiki,

Alfonso's friend.

Nice to meet you.

You think they're ready

for a little snack?

No. I think they're ready

for a big snack.

[CHUCKLES]

I'll help you.

All right.

How long have you

known Alfonso?

A long time.

It'll be

two weeks tomorrow.

She shouldn't

even be here.

You know the rule.

No chicks at rehearsal.

Well, since when

did we have that rule?

Since she started

showing up.

Guys, guys, come on.

Can we get back

to the music?

Hey, speak

to lover-boy here.

I wasn't the one

showing off.

Hey. I wasn't showing off.

Alfonso.

I was just doing

my Michael Jackson.

Alfonso.

You didn't see me doing

my Bruce Springsteen.

Brad.

You don't do

a good Springsteen.

Alfonso!

I don't do

a good Springsteen?

Snacks are ready.

Food.

Food.

Well, I'm glad

I settled that.

Hi.

Hi.

Hey.

I thought

you were terrific.

Yeah?

When you're in front,

the group sounds

so much better.

Really?

You've got the best voice,

the best moves,

and you do a Michael Jackson

better than...

Michael Jackson.

Yeah?

Like I told you before,

if you want to win

the battle of the bands,

I think you should insist on

opening with "Heart of Stone."

Yeah, well, uh...

The guys didn't

go for it.

That's because

they're jealous.

They are?

Yeah.

Because you sound so good.

Hey...

When you sing that song,

it makes my heart throb.

Yeah?

Yeah.

I have to run.

Oww!

Great.

Now he's a one-man band.

Where's Kiki?

She left.

Good.

Now you won't be jumping

up and down during the ballads.

Lay off, guys,

we have a lot of work to do,

like that opening number.

Yeah, I've been giving that

a lot of thought.

I still think we should open up

with "Heart of Stone."

I thought we already

went through this.

Yeah. I feel like

I'm having a deja vu again.

Wait, I'm sure Alfonso

has a good reason

for bringing this up.

Don't you?

Yeah. It's the kind of song

that gives people...

Heartthrob.

No, no, no, no.

It gives people heartburn.

Alfonso, we've already

made our decision.

I know why you guys don't want

me to do "Heart of Stone."

You guys are jealous.

[BRAD SCOFFS]

[LAUGHS]

Jealous?

I think he's been

standing too close

to his amplifier.

Knock it off.

Alfonso, you're taking this

too personally.

Oh. Sure.

Take their side.

What?

Look. We either

do the song, or...

Or what?

Or I walk.

I guess I got your answer.

RICK:

Alfonso.

Alfonso.

[♪♪♪]

I mist you.

Yes, I did.

Would orchid you?

Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

Uh-oh, getting

a little warmish.

Going to move

this light off of you.

[IN BRITISH ACCENT]

Hello? Hello?

What's this?

A weed!

Can't have that,

can we? No.

[IN FRENCH ACCENT]

There. You look

much better.

You look fantastic

if I do say so myself.

Very sexy!

Dad.

What?

Does Kate know about this?

I was just saying

good morning.

No, no, no.

Dad, you weren't.

I saw the whole thing.

You were hitting

on an orchid.

You guys gonna have band

practice here again today?

Yep.

We'll be out.

But we'll be there

Monday night for the...

[IMITATES b*mb, expl*si*n,

g*nf*re]

Battle of the bands.

I think the battle is going

to turn into a m*ssacre.

Oh?

We just can't seem

to get it together.

Without Alfonso, you mean?

Alfonso has nothing

to do with this.

Okay. Maybe a little.

Okay. A lot.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

You guys can always

ask him back.

Alfonso, we were just

talking about--

Rick, look who's here.

Alfonso.

Hey, Alfonso.

I'm going upstairs.

How you doing?

Great.

How you doing?

Terrific.

How's the band doing?

Oh, fine.

Of course,

it's not the same without you.

Yeah, well, five guys

make more noise.

Listen, Alfonso, if you

ever want to come back--

Thanks, Rick, but I can't.

I came by to pick up

my mic stand.

Okay, sure. It's out back.

You doing some playing?

Yeah. I joined a new group.

Oh. Who's in it?

Kiki's brothers.

They've been looking

for a lead singer.

Well, um...

Congratulations.

What kind of music is it--

Top s, originals?

Uh, originals.

Kiki's been writing

some songs.

Kiki?

And she's taking

guitar lessons.

Great...

I guess.

Alfonso, this is stupid.

We're best friends.

Why are you

in another band?

Because I get the chance

to do the songs I do best.

Alfonso, can I tell you

something, friend to friend?

What?

You never started

acting crazy until--

Until what?

Until you went cuckoo

over Kiki.

Hey, leave her out of this.

This is all my idea.

I like flying solo.

Nobody telling me what to do.

I'm my own man.

Okay, okay.

I gotta get going.

Kiki gets mad

if I'm gone too long.

Let's take the ending

one more time, all right?

This time,

let's step on the gas.

Crank up the volume.

That was great!

I'm telling you,

we're going to k*ll.

RICK:

Oh, no!

Guys, I think

we already have.

Oh, I'm in big trouble.

Guys, this is

a prize-winning orchid.

Not anymore.

So what? You didn't

k*ll the plant.

I know,

but our music did.

Guys, what am I gonna do?

Look, what's the big deal?

Just go out

and buy another flower.

Brad, that's the dumbest idea

I've ever heard.

[♪♪♪]

Dad, I'm sorry.

It was all my fault.

I k*lled Maxi.

The music

was playing too loud.

That's why I bought

this other plant.

I thought I k*lled her

by overwatering.

You know, she did

look kind of soggy.

It doesn't matter

who k*lled her,

although it probably

was the music.

Lucky for us,

I bought a spare, huh?

Rick, come on,

it's immature and dishonest

to try to pass off

a stranger for Maxi.

You're old enough

to know better than that.

Hi, guys.

Oh, no.

You b*at me to it.

Kate!

When I saw what happened

to Maxi,

I knew you'd be

devastated, so I...

Went out and bought another one.

See? Great minds

think alike.

I can't believe you two.

What about taking

responsibility?

When you make a mistake,

you just own up to it.

Charles is on his way over now

and we're gonna

have to tell him the truth.

[DOORBELL RINGING]

Quick. Give me

the phony plant.

Coming!

Charles.

Charles.

Charles.

Hello, Edward, Kate, Richard.

Where are my babies?

Right where

you left them.

They're safe and sound,

right, guys?

Oh, yeah.

Hello, Will.

Hello, Maxi.

Maxi?

What? What?

Maxi looks a bit

out of sorts.

She didn't have time

to put on her make-up yet.

Wait a minute.

This isn't my Maxi.

It isn't?

No, it isn't.

Kate, do you know

anything about this?

I'm sorry, Charles.

Here she is.

May she rest in peace.

Rest in...

Oh, my.

I'm really sorry,

Charles.

Maxi, you're pregnant.

She is?

Yes, that's how they get

after they've been pollinated.

They lose their bloom.

Can't you see?

There's a new growth

down here.

[ALL COO]

The Red Knights!

Let's hear it for them.

Very good, guys.

Very good.

Okay. We have

two more groups to hear

before our selection committee

picks the winner

in the battle of the bands.

Ladies and gentlemen,

how about a big hand

for The Fab Five.

Psst.

Oh, oh.

The Fab Four.

[AUDIENCE APPLAUDING]

Good luck.

Hey, thanks, Alfonso.

It's not too late.

What are you

wishing them luck for?

They're my friends.

I told you, you don't need

friends like those anymore.

SINGER:

One, two, three, four.

♪ You're so cool

And it's making me uptight ♪

♪ You turn me on ♪

♪ Then you won't

See me tonight ♪

♪ You smile so sweet ♪

♪ Then you turn

And walk away ♪

♪ You make me nuts, girl

Each and every day ♪

♪ It's too plain ♪

♪ You make me insane ♪

♪ You give me

Cool, cool love ♪

♪ I want your

Cool, cool love ♪

♪ You give me

Cool, cool love ♪

♪ I want your cool

Cool, cool, cool love ♪

[AUDIENCE CHEERING AND CLAPPING]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]