05x17 - Mother's Day

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Here we are

Face to face ♪

♪ A couple of silver spoons ♪

♪ Hoping to find

We're two of a kind ♪

♪ Making a go

Making it grow ♪

♪ Together

We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together

Taking the time each day ♪

♪ To learn all about ♪

♪ Those things

You just can't buy ♪

♪ Two silver spoons

Together ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ You and I ♪

♪ Together ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ We're gonna find our way ♪

♪ Together ♪

So Mrs. Kramer told me if I

don't do well on the mid-term,

she's gonna make me stay after

school for study hall.

I won't have any social life

at all.

That's terrible.

Can I finish your soda?

Sure. And if I have to stay

late to study every day,

Coach Dickinson will kick me

off the soccer team.

Bummer! Want those fries?

Go ahead.

And if I get kicked

off the soccer team...

Oh, Marianne Fuller

won't go out with me!

Too bad.

Can I finish your slaw?

Go ahead.

Hey, guys.

Yo.

Mm.

Hey, get your own.

Fine. I will.

Get ready to meet an old pal.

Huh?

Beth McMillan.

The one who had to leave town.

And she's working here.

She is?

Oh, yeah.

Hey, Beth.

Rick. Hi.

Hi, you're-you're back

in Shallow Springs?

Yup. Couldn't resist its charm.

[CHUCKLES]

So...how are things?

Things are fine.

Great. And um...

how's everything?

"Everything"

turned out to be

a beautiful

eight-pound baby boy.

I named him Max.

Congratulations.

Did you...ever get...

You know...did-did you--

No, I didn't get married.

I'm living with my parents.

Oh, that's-that's great.

Sometimes.

So you're working here

at Burgers, huh?

Uh-huh. And I'm trying to get

my high school diploma

by going to night school.

Terrific!

Actually, you know,

it's not so bad.

Come on, Beth!

You wanna get back in there

and clean up the mess!

It's not so good either.

Will you hold on?

I'll be right back.

[♪♪♪]

I'm sorry it took so long.

Long? What long?

I hardly noticed.

[CHUCKLES]

[GROANS]

This is the first time I have

been off my feet all day.

Hey, Beth.

Know what you need?

A hot bath.

No, no. I mean after that.

You need to cut loose.

Yeah, right...

Look, Alfonso's

having a party tonight.

All the old g*ng will be there.

Why don't you go?

I don't fit in anymore.

Sure you do.

[SCOFFS]

Everyone is into proms,

boyfriends and trendy clothes

and I'm into diapers!

Well, Beth, that's all the more

reason to come to the party.

Take a break,

have a few laughs.

You might even meet somebody.

[SCOFFS]

Yeah, right.

I'm gonna meet some -year-old

who's ready to settle down

and provide for me and my kid.

[SIGHS]

I'm pretty stupid, huh?

No, it's okay.

I mean, I would love

to meet someone.

But there aren't that many

knights in the shining armor.

Hey, Beth.

Come on, come on, come on.

Those restrooms ain't gonna

clean themselves, you know.

It's hard to believe

he used to run a charm school.

Yeah. I'll see you later.

[♪♪♪]

Now, by putting

your patio wall over here,

you're gonna have more shade

in the summer

and you're not going

to have to k*ll any trees.

Trees'll like that.

Joe, your design

looks beautiful.

Thank you.

Well, there's no doubt

about it.

The patio needs some updating.

"Updating"?

Edward, there are ruins in Rome

that look better.

Well, Joe,

you're a little...young.

How many contracting jobs

like this have you handled?

You mean altogether?

Uh-huh.

[WHISTLES]

Including yours?

Yeah.

One.

BOTH:

One?

So we're sorta

your big break, huh?

You could say that.

Well, you got it.

Oh! Thank you!

I appreciate that.

Hey, Dad.

Hey, Rick, say hello

to the world's

newest patio designer

and builder, Joe McCluskey.

How ya doin', Joe?

Hi, nice to meet you.

Are you any relation

to the Crazy Legs McClusky?

Well, yeah. That's me.

Or it used to be me.

You were the best running back

in our school's history.

Dad,

the trophy case at school

is full of awards

with his name on them.

Wow! Our patio is going to be

done by Crazy Legs McCluskey!

Yeah. When he finishes the job

he'll probably go...

I think this young man

is going to go far.

[CHUCKLES]

Say, Joe,

what was the most touchdowns

you ever scored

in one game?

Seven.

And what about the total yards

you rushed for?

Three hundred and ten.

Whoa! Are you married?

Do you like kids?

Never mind.

I mean, gosh, some of the guys

on the football team

sure would love to meet

Crazy Legs McCluskey.

Ah, I doubt that.

They'll be at Burgers

after the game today.

Maybe you could drop by

and say hello.

Well, I don't know--

It would mean an awful lot.

They've had a tough season.

Even the cheerleaders

are booing.

Rick...

Meeting a legend

would get them through

the tough times ahead.

give them something to sh**t

for in the years to come...

All right. All right. I'll go.

I'll meet you there around .

Four o'clock.

This is your copy, I'm gonna

leave it here with you.

I'll take this one,

and thank you again.

I do appreciate it.

Oh, yes. Thank you.

Four.

What the heck

was that about?

Dad, do you remember

Beth McMillan?

Oh, the girl

who got pregnant?

Yeah.

She had a baby boy.

She did? Hey, hey,

that's wonderful.

It's not so wonderful, Dad.

She's back in Shallow Springs

and raising the baby on her own.

Well, doesn't she have help

from her parents?

Yeah, but they're old.

They're almost .

You know, besides,

a baby boy needs a father.

Someone-how to-show him how

to throw a football.

Hey, I can throw a football.

But Kate,

you throw like a girl.

Thank you.

Uh, Rick, it's nice of you

to try to fix Joe and Beth up,

but don't you think you're

kinda meddling again?

Again?

Yeah!

Remember what happened

with Kate's niece?

You got the poor girl

a date with Brad.

Oh, come on, Kate.

She was gonna to join

the convent anyway.

[♪♪♪]

Well, here we are.

Boy, are the guys

gonna be excited.

It doesn't look like

any of the team's here.

Well, you know,

they're still celebrating.

They only lost

by two touchdowns.

Hey, look, there's one

of your biggest fans now.

Hey, Alfonso. Look who this is.

Crazy Legs McCluskey.

Oh. Hi.

I'm touched.

Well, Joe, there's someone else

I really want you to meet.

Oh! Another "fan"?

Beth. Beth...

this is Crazy Legs McCluskey.

Crazy Legs?

That's a nickname. I used

to play some football.

Really? I used to watch it.

[JOE & BETH LAUGH]

Beth! The tables!

Okay.

Beth, it's okay. I got 'em.

No, it's okay, Rick...

Come on, please...

Rick.

Take a break, Chat. Mingle...

[♪♪♪]

See ya, Rick...

And, uh, tell the guys

thanks for the big turnout.

Oh, yeah. Sure, Joe. Bye.

Well, seems like you and Joe

had an awful lot to talk about.

Yeah. He's

a very interesting guy.

And stable,

sincere, reliable...

Ease up, Rick.

He already asked me out.

Well, that's great!

Yeah, except he asked me out

for tonight.

So?

So my folks

are going out tonight.

I don't know if I can get

a sitter on such short notice.

Well, sure you can!

I'll babysit for you.

Have you ever taken care of

a baby before in your life?

Are you kidding?

People who would never even

think of having children

have them just so I can

take care of them.

Rick...it's not...

Just relax, okay?

I've taken care

of lots of babies.

And what time

should I be at your place?

Well, he wants

to pick me up at ,

so would it be okay if I brought

the baby over your house?

Yeah. I guess. But why?

Uh...well...the truth is...I

didn't tell Joe about the baby.

How come?

Because the last

three guys I dated

did a quick disappearing act

the minute they found out.

Beth, he's gonna find out

sooner or later.

Later is better.

Beth...

[SIGHS]

Okay. I'll tell him tonight.

After the meal.

[CHUCKLES]

Good.

Well, this is

working out great.

You've got a date...

And I just made

$ in tips!

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

[♪♪♪]

Honey, hurry up.

We're gonna be late.

Our reservation is...

was...five minutes ago.

I'm sorry.

I'm just not sure what you wear

to a Tahitian restaurant.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Is this all right?

Do you have it in topless?

Oh, I wore it to lunch today.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

I got it. I got it, Kate.

Oops. Thank you.

Hi, Beth. Come on in.

Hi.

Well, what's new?

You're looking at him.

Ooh, let me see.

Here.

Put him on the table. Yeah.

Lookie here, buster.

This is Max.

Hello, Max, oh--

Max, say hello

to Mr. and Mrs. Stratton.

[IN BABY VOICE]

Hello, Mr. and

Mrs. Stratton.

Can I hold him?

Sure, you better do it now

while he's still dry.

Ooh. Come here, guy.

There he goes.

Whoa!

Hey, Beth.

BETH: Hi.

Aw, isn't he beautiful.

Hey, partner. Gimme five.

Yeah, made that one.

Kate...we gotta go.

Oh, do we have to?

[IN BABY VOICE]

Yes, we have to.

Oh, all right.

Do you have all the necessary

emergency telephone numbers?

I sure do, Kate.

Chicken-To-Go...Pizza Express...

For this baby...not you.

I'll be fine, guys.

You just be careful with him,

all right, Rick.

Kate, I will.

Okay. Goodbye, guys.

RICK & BETH:

Bye.

Oh. Okay.

I think I've got

everything here.

Diapers, lotion, powder,

formula, teething ring...

and if he gets fussy

all you have to do

is do the walk and bounce,

you see,

walk and bounce...

Put him right to sleep.

Piece of cake.

Okay.

As soon as I find out where

we're going, I'll call you.

Just in case

there's an emergency.

Oh, I hope that there won't

be an emergency.

Will you relax?

I have everything under control.

Okay. Thanks.

Okay.

No...you're really special.

Well, go on, okay.

Enjoy yourself.

Okay, and now, Max,

you be a good little boy

for Uncle Rick.

Would you go?

Okay.

Have fun.

Bye.

So, Max, what'll it be? TV?

Poker? Trivial Pursuit?

Hey, we got a Baby Boomer

edition.

[CHUCKLES]

[FUSSING]

Here you go, Max.

Here you go.

Come on, easy now. Easy.

Here you go. Easy.

Take it easy. Come on, Max.

Walk and bounce.

Walk and bounce.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[DOOR OPENS]

Honey, have you seen

where the ap--

[SHUSHES]

KATE:

Aren't they cute?

Yeah.

When you see them like that--

Doesn't it make you

want to have one?

No.

Hi, guy.

[SHUSHES]

Whee!

Oh, you're soaked.

Want me to wake

the babysitter?

No. no. I'll change him.

[BABBLING]

Your jammies are all wet.

Yeah, I'll take care of 'em.

I'm up! I'm bouncing!

I'm changing.

Oh, no!

Oh, God, no!

Oh, no! Max!

Max, don't do this to me.

Max! Come out, come out

wherever you are?!

Max! Oh, Max!

He went to the movies.

Don't worry.

Kate's changing him.

Don't ever...ever...ever...

do that to a babysitter.

Here he is.

All fresh and clean.

EDWARD:

Look at that face.

Well, Kate,

I'll take it from here.

Sure. Now.

Think you can stay awake long

enough for us to go to sleep?

Oh, sure can.

Go to sleep, guys.

All right.

Goodnight, Max.

Goodnight, guys. Bye...Honey...

Forget it! Don't even think

about it.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, that must be them.

Now look partner, don't tell

your mom I fell asleep.

Here we go.

Hi.

Hi. I'm sorry I'm so late.

No problem. I was waiting up

for you guys.

Hi, Maxie.

Here you go. Where's Joe?

I had him drop me off

at home.

Oh. So you didn't tell Joe

about Max.

It was such a nice night.

I didn't want to spoil it.

Besides, we're going out

on Monday night.

I can tell him then.

Another date?

Well, then it

really did go well?

It went great!

You see, I knew it!

I knew you two

would hit it off!

Boy, I'm good at this.

[♪♪♪]

Morning, Kate. Say, Kate.

Where's Dad?

[SCOFFS]

Where else?

Outside "supervising" the work.

JOE:

Swing that header

over this way, Hank.

Look out, Mr. Stratton.

[BOARD THUNKS]

EDWARD:

Ow!

You're sure you're okay,

Mr. Stratton?

I'm okay. I'm not sure

about that two by four.

You better hurry, because I'm

going to work in five minutes.

Who was that woman?

Uh-oh.

Hey, Joe, you want some coffee?

Oh, yeah, thanks.

So...how do you like Beth?

Oh, Rick, I liked her a lot.

A whole lot.

In fact, we're going out

again tonight.

I know.

I-I-I mean, I thought

you would like her, I mean.

Beth really is terrific.

Yeah, and so's her baby.

[CHUCKLES]

[SCOFFS]

Baby? What baby?

Max. Beth's...

ba...

Uh-oh. I think I goofed.

Yeah, that is

another way of putting it.

Joe, Beth was going to tell you

tonight. Honest.

Oh, no. That's okay.

I understand. Really.

I mean, what difference

does it make?

Anyway, I got to get

back out to the baby...

I mean, uh, the backyard.

[CHUCKLES]

[♪♪♪]

Hi.

Hi.

How's my little pal?

[LAUGHS]

Max is fine.

He talks about you

constantly.

So how'd it go

on date number two?

He canceled.

What?

He said he had to work late.

Well, Beth, you know

in that business...

It's okay, Rick.

I kind of expected it after

you told me what happened.

Beth, I'm really sorry

it happened this way.

Don't worry about it.

You know, I don't

have time to date.

I just asked my boss if I could

work some extra hours.

You did?

Yeah.

So if your offer to babysit

Max is still open,

I could really use you to watch

him tomorrow afternoon.

Yeah, sure. He can watch me

play with my computer.

Terrific.

Max loves computers.

See, Max. Like I told you,

it's really very simple.

First, you load your DOS

to boot it up.

Are you listening to me?

Good!

And next, you gotta make sure

it's a . and not a . .

Then you pull out your DOS,

load your Microsoft,

and then enter your password.

Got it?

You see.

I knew you would understand.

Hey, son.

Hey, Dad. How ya doing?

Fine. Getting a little help

with your homework?

Yeah, just with

the Trigonometry.

[CHUCKLES]

Hello, Maxer-Daxer.

How ya' doing?

Is Joe around?

Who cares.

Rick, don't you think you're

being a little tough on him?

It's kind of hard to accept

an instant family.

Dad, who could not want this

little guy in their family?

Yeah. He's kinda hard

to resist, isn't he?

I mean, one look

and I was hooked.

Hey, maybe if I got Joe to...

Rick...

What? What?

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Joe! Perfect! Listen,

could you do me a big favor?

Yeah, what's up?

I've got to split.

Would you watch

Beth's baby for me?

Well, yeah,

I told you're parents...

I'll only need two minutes!

Yeah, but, Rick...

Thanks, Joe. See you later.

Rick--

Hi, kid.

[CLEARS THROAT]

Want a beer?

♪ Oh, the itsy-bitsy spider

Went up the water spout ♪

[DOORBELL RINGS]

♪ Down came the rain... ♪

Right on time.

Hi.

Hi.

Where's Max?

Oh, don't worry.

He's in good hands.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

♪ Out came the sun ♪

♪ And dried off all the rain

Ooh, da itsy-bitsy-- ♪

Oh, hi. I...

BETH: Hi.

was singing.

I heard.

Uh, Beth,

I'm really sorry about

canceling the other night.

You hear that.

He's sorry.

That's all right.

You hear that?

It's all right.

So I guess what this means

is you guys can go out again.

Yeah. I guess we could.

I'll give you a call sometime.

Sounds good.

Well, I better

get back to work.

That's a great kid.

Thanks.

Did you hear that? Great kid.

Isn't that terrific?

Yeah. Terrific.

Well, thanks again, Rick.

Okay, hey, look,

let me take him for you.

I got it. It's okay.

Beth, you can't do everything

by yourself.

What other choice do I have?

[SCOFFS]

Look, I'm going to be

just fine.

I've got Max...

I've got my parents...

and I've got the best

the babysitter in town.

Here.

Oh. Thanks. Bye.

Bye.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]