07x10 - A Finger in Time

[bunniefuu]

[Maury] Wake up, Andy.

Andrew, sweetie, wake up!

Maury, Jesus. Why are you straddling me?

- I'm just so excited.
- For the first day of high school?

- No.
- Oh.

For you to stick your finger
up Pumbaa's a-hole.

Oh God, I'm so f*cked.

[inhales deeply]

♪ My name is Andrew Glouberman ♪

It means booger man in Yiddish.

♪ I'm a -year-old pervert ♪

♪ Who's gonna die
On his first day of high school ♪

Possibly.

♪ My only hope is a finger in a butthole ♪

It's a good plan.

♪ His name is Andrew Glouberman ♪

Oh my.

♪ He's a -year-old pervert ♪

♪ Who's gonna die
On his first day of high school ♪

♪ His only hope
Is a finger in a butthole... ♪

Ladies and gentlemen,
the Bridgeton High Quee-Choi.

♪ It's gonna be torturous ♪

♪ Thrilling and cruel ♪

♪ We're getting yanked out
Of our comfort zone ♪

♪ We've graduated middle school ♪

♪ It's gonna be a whole new clusterfuck ♪

♪ Of excitement, pain, and fear ♪

♪ Yes, Big Mouth's going to high school ♪

♪ The day is finally here ♪

♪ Some will be cast out all alone
Untethered from the pack ♪

♪ Scared and lonely ♪

♪ For some, it's just another chapter
In a world hopeless and black ♪

♪ The world is black ♪

♪ While some are psyched to start anew
Among the outcasts, freaks, and scum ♪

♪ Yes, Big Mouth's going to high school
The future has begun ♪

♪ It means four long years
Of stress and fear ♪

♪ For the shy and insecure ♪

♪ Accept the dread
There's no turning back now ♪

♪ Can't turn back now ♪

♪ We're gonna throw away the drab passé ♪

♪ For ninth grade haute couture ♪

♪ It's a vicious dog-eat-dog buffet
And this bitch is gonna chow ♪

♪ They're gonna draw
Some brand-new backgrounds ♪

♪ Might even give us boobs and beards ♪

♪ Yes, we're headed off
To an unknown fate ♪

♪ We might not live to graduate ♪

♪ But the Big Mouth kids
Are moving up to high school ♪

♪ Right after you skip the intro ♪

♪ Right after you skip the intro ♪

["Changes" by Charles Bradley playing]

♪ I'm goin' through changes ♪

♪ I'm goin' through changes ♪

♪ Oh ♪

♪ In my life ♪

♪ Oh! Ooh! Ooh! ♪

[songs fades]

- [school bell rings]
- [Jessi] Oof.

First day of high school, guys.
Now everything we do actually counts.

[laughs] You hear that, Andrew?

When you snake your little finger
up Pumbaa's butthole,

it's going on your permanent record.

I gotta say, this finger plan
sounds like a terrible idea.

- I have no other choice, do I, Jessi?
- Whoa.

To save my life,

I must slowly jam my tiny pointer
up another school boy's rectum.

No other choice.

Uh, why not just apologize to Timon
for touching her boobs?

Apologize? What for? It was an accident.

That doesn't mean
it wasn't harmful, Andrew.

Sometimes people
just need to hear you're sorry.

Uh, no. Apologies are
for cucks and socialists.

[groans] Stop quoting your...

I will never stop quoting
my dad's law commercials!

- Uh, Missy? What's going on in there?
- [Missy groaning]

You're gonna be late
for your first day of school.

- Ow!
- Oh my goodness, are you okay?

No, I'm... I'm really sick.

- I don't think I can go to school today.
- Really? What's wrong?

Oh, just don't look in the toilet, please.
For your own well-being.

Oh, misery me! A bloody doody?

Holy cow!

Dread, it's working!
The V and carob are fooling them!

Yes, you're fortunate
your parents are morons.

Okay, I'll go call the school.

No, Monica, wait.

I call an emergency Council of Parents.

Council recognized.

I think Missy's malingering.

I smell eight different veggies
and some delicious carob in that toilet.

But Missy loves school.

She cried when we told her
what a summer vacation was.

But she's in high school now.
Our little baby is slipping away from us.

Oh, Cyrus, that won't happen.

It's already happening!

First, she lies, then runs away.

Next thing you know,
she's zonked out on nose candy,

doing the bum nasty
in her sugar daddy's Bugatti.

- A Bugatti?
- Just for another score!

What do we do, Cyrus?

We get the truth, dammit!

Missy, if you're that sick,
then I think we should go to the doctor.

Oh, uh...

Double down, Missy.
Heed me or they'll send you to school.

Of course, the doctor,

because I'm so... oh, very ill.

Yes, I'm quite concerned about you
because of that big, bloody doody.

Yes, it really hurt
when it came out of my butt.

Oh, I'm sure it did,

because it was so bloody and so big.

[Diane] It's okay to be nervous, Nicky.

It's a new school,
with wealthy, attractive children.

I'm not nervous, Mom. So just go do
whatever it is you do all day.

All right, first day of high school!

Hold on. Where's Andrew and Jessi
and Jay's mom's son Jay?

They're not here, Rick, because I'm going
to a new school without them.

Oh God. You don't know anyone here.
You must be so nervous!

I'm not nervous! I know Danni, so...
Look, there she is.

Hey, girl, hey. [chuckles]
First day wackiness, right?

Oh, yeah. Hi, Nick.

So, uh, what are you guys,
uh, talking about?

- What's the chit? What's the chat?
- Uh...

Travis had a pool party this weekend.

Pool party! Nice.

You know what would be
pretty cool in the pool?

If you filled
the entire thing with Sprite.

- Right?
- Yeah.

'Cause then you could drink it,
but then also you could just drink it or...

- Totally.
- Oh my God.

- You could drink your pool.
- Yikes.

[awkward chuckling]

Uh, look, Nick. This is really awkward,
but I don't think we can hang out anymore.

Oh... kay.

It's just, with the weird hookup,
and the Travis element,

- and the whole Sprite pool thing.
- Oh yeah.

Yeah, no. the Sprite pool thing
was a pretty big f*ck-up. I see that now.

Yeah, I'm sorry. I'm just, I'm ,
and I don't know how to do this, so, bye.

f*ck.

[school bell rings]

Okay, guys, Pumbaa could be anywhere.

Whatever you do, do not leave my side.

Hey, Jess! Over here!

- Hi, Leah!
- Ah! My side has been left!

All right. Hanging with the popular girls!

We're gonna be knee-high in cock pie
before we know it.

Loving your first day fit, Jessi.
Is that Zara?

Oh, God, no. I don't buy fast fashion,

you know, because of child labor
and climate change.

- Okay, bummer.
- Someone's got a paper straw up their ass.

- Literally.
- [laughter]

Oh no, Jessi! You're being unlikable!

I'm just being myself.

Well, stop that! It sucks!

- 'Sup, Jess?
- Oh, hey, Lulu.

Um, hold up.

Wasn't Lulu like a raging assh*le to you?

Oh, uh, I guess she was, but...

She's like a total burnout.

She just gets high all the time
and, like, doesn't even shave her bush.

Oh my God, it's like, we get it.
You're political. Whatever.

- Hey! Andrew Glouberman!
- [ominous music playing]

- Oh f*ck.
- You want your first punch

in your shitty face
or in your little p*ssy?

I guess p*ssy? I don't know!

Ow!

- f*ck him up, baby!
- Crush his p*ssy!

Ooh-ooh-ooh, it's happening!
Time to stick your fingy in his thingy.

Here goes nothing.

Hashem, don't fail me now.

Pumbaa! Put him down right now.

Oh, thank you, grown-up!

No k*lling each other until after school,

when all the teachers
have cleared the faculty parking lot.

- What?
- At : p.m.,

I'm gonna k*ll you and lay your carcass
at your mom's bedside.

- Later, booger man.
- Oh, look at that, he speaks Yiddish.

Oy vey iz mir.

I pretty much looked everywhere.
I can't find anything wrong.

Oh, but the pain, Doctor.

[exaggerated groan]

Okay, I'm just gonna say
what we're all thinking.

- It's cancer!
- [Monica gasps]

You are a smoker, right?

No! Missy's never even had smoked turkey.

As far as we know.

You have insurance, I gotta pay off
a brand-new inflatable hot tub.

- Let's get this party started!
- Wait, what?

Blood work, CT scan,
MRI, colonoscopy, you name it.

Is all that necessary?

Well, you're really sick, right, Missy?

Uh, r-right, right.

- Are you willing to pinky swear on it?
- [ominous music playing]

I can't do it.

In our secular home,
a pinky swear is sacred.

But you must. Otherwise,
you will be forced to go to school.

So, heed me!

Okay, I'll heed you, for fluff's sake.

Give me that fat little pinky, old man.

Fred and Wilma, Sonny and Cher,

- I hereby make a pinky swear!
- [thunder crashes]

[Jourdan] Okay, okay. So he's a ten,

but he has a Samsung Galaxy.

- Ew, six. I can't get a green text.
- [laughter]

- What are you, my dad?
- Totally.

Connie, are these girls kind of basic?

Yeah, Leah's cool,
but her friends are not good.

But I guess this is my group now?

I mean, Matthew's got the Quee-Choi,
Jay's got his basement dwellers.

And Lola's sitting
at the Jump Street table?

All right, all right. What if she's a ten,
but she don't like Billy Joel?

- Two.
- Ooh, zero.

She sounds like an uptown bitch.

Okay, see, now, that's more my vibe.

- The weed people?
- Well, Lulu and her friends.

I don't know,
Lola's crew seems pretty young and hip.

Hey, Lola, teen to teen,

how come my wife and me
ain't had no sex since Easter?

[panicked breaths] How did I get here?

When did my life go so f*cking wrong?

Who cares? How do we get out of this mess
before your p*ssy gets punched?

So many poor choices. Perverted mistakes.

Now I'm never gonna get
eaten out in Tuscany.

- Ow!
- Don't you dare say that!

Oh God. [groans]

I think I'm gonna barf.

Okay, I feel better now
having some of it...

[retching]

Jesus, Andrew.
When did you eat a grown man?

Ah!

What the f*ck?

Who the hell is this guy?

I'm you from the future.

Oh my God, I look terrible in the future.

No, no, not you.

I'm him.

Oh, phew.

I really dodged a b*llet there,
huh, Andrew? [chuckles]

[laughter]

Oh my God, Trav.

Oh, I'm such a f*cking loser.

Oh, it's so hard to fit in
at a new school, isn't it?

I'm... I'm sorry, who are you?

I'm the librarian, sweetheart.

Ms. Cornhill.

I saw you here all alone,

so gentle, so sad.

Yeah, it's been a...
it's been a pretty tough first day.

I know, love. I know.

Why don't you come with me?
I've got just the place for ya.

- Really?
- Yes. Take my trembling, ice-cold hand,

and feel how paper-thin my skin is.

Okay, yeah.

I'm on blood thinners.

Don't believe me?
Look, it's right here on the left foot.

A wart that looks just like...

A young Tom Colicchio.

He's me, Maury. He's definitely me.

Okay, so... so why are you here?

- Because of this.
- Oh God.

On this very day, at : p.m.,

the boy, Pumbaa,

snapped off this finger
with a flex of his sphincter.

My fingy? His sphincty?

There's more! Shut up!

It sets off a catastrophic chain of events

that ruins
our already rotten life forever.

- But I'm fine, right?
- Maury, let him finish!

You'll become a pariah
known as "Little Boy Stink Finger."

Oh God.

You are a penniless, unloved,

chode-having, -year-old virgin!

No!

But... But wait, why didn't you go back
to before I grabbed Timon's boobs?

You know, before I was completely f*cked?

Uh, maybe 'cause I'm an idiot?

Oh, of course you are. You're me.

g*dd*mn it! Now I gotta go back again.

This f*cking time machine.

Wait, wait, I wanna come too!

Ah! Get off of me!

Oh, come on! Sixty-eight dollars
at Costco Optical, ruined.

[retching]

I just came out of my own guts.

What the hell? Are you me?

- Move out of the way, dumbass!
- [grunts]

[suspenseful music playing]

Oh, this rocks.

Ew! You f*cking creep!

Hey! Get your f*cking hands
off my girlfriend's tits!

- We did it!
- Yes!

He's gonna k*ll Lump now instead of me.

We fixed history!

We could have gone anywhere in time,
and this is what we did.

No, it can't be!
My fingy should've grown back.

So, uh, we didn't change anything?

So this must not be the moment
where my life went off the rails.

- No sh*t. You're way too late.
- f*ck!

Our life went off the rails when...

All right,
I'm gonna yoidle my doidle for Zayde.

- [retching]
- Aah!

- Dead Zayde!
- What the... Who are all you me's?

- We're you.
- From the future.

Oh, so that's what this is.

It's like a sci-fi, time travel thingy
with a whole bunch of Andrews.

I was like,
"Where are the going with this?"

Very cool, very cool.
Well, that's exciting.

[sighs]

Hey, what up, weed people?

Anybody got some, uh,
green for mama? [chuckles]

Sorry, are you "mama"?

Um, yes. [chuckles]
In this scenario, I am mama.

- [laughter]
- Yes.

Well, okay, mama.

Thanks. It's, uh,
been kind of a rough first day.

- Yeah, school sucks.
- Everyone's an idiot.

My bio teacher
says global warming is a coincidence.

[inhales] Yikes.

He probably believes in clean coal too.

It's like my man Camus says,
"People suck."

Oh my God, Connie.
Camus boy is a f*cking dreamboat.

And he's a bummer, just like you!

So, like, why were you hanging out
with those dumb f*cking girls earlier?

Yeah, you should be chilling with us.

- Really?
- Yeah, dude.

- Totally.
- All you need is an army jacket.

Looks pretty cool, right?

Hey, you think the soldier
who wore that before you is dead?

- I don't wanna think about that.
- Yeah, let's just forget about that guy.

[doctor] Unfortunately, folks,

my accountant is gonna be unhappy to learn
that you are in perfect health, Missy.

Really? That is so strange
because the pain is so intense. Ooh!

Wow.

Someone call Cecil B. DeMille

because I think we found
the new Viola Davis.

Dad, wh-what... what do you mean?

Enough with this Oscar Mayer,
bibble-babble bologna!

Admit it! You aren't sick at all!

Cyrus!

- Don't fold, Missy. Heed me.
- [ominous music playing]

Dad, please.

You're a punk teen,

and you lied to get out of school
because you think you're hot S!

I am not hot S.

- Admit it! You lied!
- No!

You made a mockery of the pinky swear!

Stay strong!

All right! I lied, okay?

But it's not because...
because I'm a "punk teen."

It's because
I'm scared of high school, Daddy.

No! What are you doing?

Oh, Missy.

I'm scared
to be a little fish in a big pond

filled with flesh-eating bacteria.

- Oh golly, Missy. I'm scared too.
- Really?

Yes! I'm scared to lose you!

I-I don't want you to go off
to a big school

where you grow up too fast and forget us.

Oh, I would never forget about you, Dad.

- No!
- Oh, I'm so sorry, Missy.

Oh, me too.

I hate it when children feel better.

It fucks with the whole thing
I'm trying to do.

[Missy and Cyrus sigh]

- [boy whimpering, sobbing]
- Um, Ms. Cornhill, what is this?

This is the Sad Boys Club.

Say hello, puppies.

- Hi.
- Ms. Cornhill, my seat is wet again.

Not now, Myron! Come here, boys.

Feed me pistachios
and comb my very long hair.

- I will feed you.
- I will comb you.

[sobbing]

Jesus, Rick, am I like these kids?

Am... Am I that sad and pathetic?

Circle of trust? Big time.

Um, Ms. Cornhill,
I have a tree nut allergy,

so I-I can't feed you pistachios.

Very well. You may pumice the calluses
on the balls of my feet, Andrew.

Andrew? Oh my God, that was
my best friend's name in middle school.

Cool. My best friend's name
was Edgar Ramos. Is that your name?

Oh, no, but it's pretty close.
It's actually Nick Birch.

Well, enchanté, Nick.

I-I mean, "hi."

- I'm not French, or smart.
- Me neither!

Children, come now.

My tootsies remain heavy with skin.

- Ew.
- That's terrible.

- [Andrew ] Wait. Okay.
- [Andrew ] Wait.

What makes you all think
this is the moment

when my life went wrong?

You were masturbating
in front of your dead grandfather.

But in his defense,
his cousin was making him very horny.

Oh, who gives a sh*t?
My fingy still got assholed.

Oh God, we need to go back even farther.

Do not pull Lars out of that wheelchair!

It fucks up our entire life.

Fine. But can we all agree
he can probably walk?

- Of course he can.
- The boy is a fraud.

He can f*cking run.

I gotta put my hand up and say,
I disagree with all of you.

f*ck! No fingy.

Stop it!

- You are in public.
- This is Trolls World Tour.

Come on, get the d*ck!

- Stop!
- Do not jerk off to Leah's bathing suit.

This is the right hand, right?

- f*ck.
- How far back do we need to go?

Shut up, guys. Shut up.

We need to go back to the very beginning.

[gasps] Dinosaur Andrew?

No, no, no, g*dd*mn it.

That fateful day that changed everything.

- Oh God, this feels incredible.
- [epic music playing]

I think I've invented
something new and fun.

I'm gonna be rich!

- [retching]
- Wait!

- Don't finish, you sicko!
- Stop!

What the f*ck?

I thought something
was gonna come out of my penis.

[screams]

sh*t! No finger!

g*dd*mn it!

We're never gonna figure out
when things went wrong.

All you past Andrews f*cked me.

You all ruined my life.

What about my life?

I'm years old,

and my penis
has never known the heat of a woman.

- f*ck you, old man!
- You f*cking pervert!

- I refuse to pay for it!
- Enough! All of you, shut the f*ck up!

Don't you see, Andrews?

It doesn't matter
when your life turned to sh*t

or who is to blame.

All that matters is what you do right now,

in the present.

Maury, I...
I think you might actually be right.

I know I'm right.

So let's all pull out our dicks and do a,

one, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
eight-way, all-Andrew circle-jerk, baby!

What? No. No, not that.

Guys, put 'em away.

- f*ck you.
- Put them away.

I meant, I can't change the past,

so I should go back to the present
and do the right thing:

apologize to Timon.

Eh, I like my idea better.

Come on, elderly me.
Let's go make this right.

I, personally, am gonna stay here,
wherever we are, and do the circle jerk.

- Yeah.
- Let's try it.

Ugh, Jesus.
Maybe I don't deserve a finger.

Oh well, time to do the right thing.

[laughter]

Jessi, what's with the jacket?

Oh, do you like it?
It's from, um, the Iraq w*r.

- Ugh, one of my least faves.
- That's hilarious.

Why is the Iraq w*r
so funny right now? [laughing]

Oh my God. Jessi, are you high?

- What are you, her mother?
- No, I just care about my friend.

- Dang! They're fighting over you, Jessi.
- Whoa.

- Holy sh*t.
- You gotta choose a crew!

Are you with the burnouts
or the basic b*tches, baby?

- Leah?
- Yeah?

This is high school,
and everything counts now,

so I need to make the right choice...

Okay.

♪...and smoke weed every day ♪

Are you serious?

- Yes, mama.
- Holy sh*t.

Come on, Jessi. Let's go hotbox my Mazda.

Zoom-zoom, f*ckers!

[laughs]

- [alarm rings]
- It is : p.m.

- Time for the scheduled v*olence.
- [all cheer]

[student] Fight!

Ugh, the thought of Andrew
getting the sh*t kicked out of him

is really harshing my buzz.

Yeah. I'm so worried I'm gonna laugh,
or be like, "Yes, I love this!"

It's okay, my friends.

Though I may perish today,

I shall face my k*ller head on.

Just run, Andrew.

No, I've got to do this.

All right, everybody.

Who's ready to see
this tit-grabbing creep die?

- [Lola] Yas, Pumbaa!
- m*rder!

Andrew, I-I made it.

I thought, if this is really the end,
then I should be here.

Thank you, Maury. I love you.

Ah, hey, that's great, man.

- Give me a kiss for good luck, baby.
- I don't need luck.

- I need your hard tongue in my mouth.
- [both moan]

Uh, Pumbaa, before you destroy me,
there's something I have to say.

Oh yeah? You wanna beg me for your life,
you little slob?

Actually, it's not to you. It's to Timon.

- What?
- Timon, I... I apologize.

Touching you was an accident,

but that doesn't mean
it didn't impact you,

and I'm very sorry.

Wow, thank you. That means a lot.

Holy sh*t, Andrew. Good for you.

You see, guys, I looked inside myself
and learned that what matters is...

- [Pumbaa grunts]
- [Jay] Yes! I love this!

Pretend my hand's a d*ck and suck it.

Do it, Andrew! Suck it!

[Ms. Cornhill] Oh, yes.

This is crazy, right?

I think this foot is dead.

It's freezing cold.

- Mine is scalding hot.
- What is going on here?

Puppies? You forget yourselves.
There's no giggling in the Sad Boys Club.

You know, Andrew,
now that we've found each other,

I'm not so sure that we are Sad Boys.

I mean, I'm a nauseous boy, maybe,
but I'm not sad.

- Should we get outta here?
- Absolutely.

Uh, Ms. Cornhill, it turns out,
we're actually happy boys.

- Proud boys, even.
- Uh, be careful there, Andrew.

Yeah, ooh. [chuckles]

- Right. I'm sorry. We should go.
- Yeah.

How dare you. Sad Boys never leave!

It's true.

You'll be back.

I swear on my freezing cold foot,

you'll be back!

- [Andrew groans]
- Andrew?

Are you okay?

What happened? Was my apology accepted?

Uh, no, honey.
You sh*t the proverbial bed.

And by the bed, I mean your pants.

They had the janitor hose you down.
Everybody filmed it.

But you did apologize to Timon,
and that was refreshing.

Oh yeah. So, do people like me now?

Well, they hate you slightly less.

Really? That's huge for me. That's great.

Oh, and look,
elderly Andrew has his finger back.

Thank you, Andrew.

I can't wait
to fish a pickle out of a jar.

You get that pickle, Future Andrew.

Okay, I think we need
to take him to the hospital?

I'm very proud of you, buddy.

From now on,
I'm gonna live in the present

and be accountable for my actions.

Speaking of your actions,

the circle jerk
got out of hand very quickly.

Oh, I bet, sure. Can you elaborate?

Let's put it this way,
you're now your own grandpa.

Mazel tov.

[birds chirping]

- Missy?
- Yeah?

We understand you're frightened,
but you have to go to school.

- I just don't think I can do it.
- Well, what if we tried homeschooling?

- Really?
- Cyrus!

The public school system
is failing its students. True, Missy?

Uh, totally.
Testing's biased, funding's down,

a, uh, Kaiju could step on the school.

A Kaiju?

- A giant monster! A Godzilla, Monica!
- Yeah!

Plus, here at home, she has two
of her very own tenured professors.

You're an adjunct, Cyrus.

And what about socialization? Her friends?

We'll be her friends.

Monica, she's growing up so fast.

I miss her cute overalls and her...
her headband.

Oh, me too. Me too.

- Please?
- Well, I suppose it could work.

- Temporarily.
- Yes!

Temporarily, forever, you name it.

It's decided.
Missy, you're getting homeschooled!

Really? Oh, thank you, Daddy!

Thank you, Daddy. [laughs]

That's what I said when I saw Willem Dafoe
naked in a Gap fitting room.

Mona! You're back!

And you look so much happier, my darling.

I'm gonna be homeschooled!

What? You're gonna be stuck at home
without any boys or other kids?

Uh, I guess I didn't think
about that part.

Well, for f*ck's sake,
who's gonna fingerbang you now?

The Amazon delivery guy?

Oh God! We have zero chemistry!

[crickets chirping]

[keyboard clacking]

Nick, you'll never believe
what happened at free public school today.

Holy sh*t, your face.

So I barfed up my old future self,

and he was like,
"Don't do a sphincter finger,"

then we barfed up all these other Andrews,
there was a big circle jerk...

All right. Now, I am ready for that snack.

Uh, who the f*ck is this?

Oh, uh, Andrew,

this is my new friend from Cobblestones
who's also named Andrew.

[Western music playing]

- So, uh, I hear your name's Andrew.
- That's what my mommy calls me.

Well, she sounds
like a big old bitch to me.

- Fellas, please.
- Stay out of this, sweetie.

Other Andrew, I think I speak
for everyone when I say,

time to f*ck off.

Actually, I'm quite comfortable here.

In fact, I just took a sh*t
in your boy's bathroom.

Oh, please.
I've taken tons of shits in there.

Call me when you clog it.

Ring-ring. Clogged it, bitch.

[gasps]

g*dd*mn it, this guy's good.

And he's gonna be spending
every second of every day with Nick.

He's gonna steal my little man.

Maybe. We'll just have to wait
to find out what happens next season.

Wait, what?!
This is the end of the season?

- Yeah.
- No! No, no, no!

Don't go to credits.
I wanna know what's gonna happen.

["Andrew" by Ryann playing]

[Andrew] I gotta wait a full f*cking year
to find out about this sh*t?

We just started high school.

Oh, f*ck you. This is bullshit.

f*ck this f*cking sh*t.
John Mulaney, Consulting Producer?

Wow, he must have great reps.

What do we do, ten a year? What the f*ck?

My friend worked on Raymond. They did .

Okay, f*ck you. This is bullshit.

It can't end like this. No.

Do not start counting down
to a different show.

Do not start counting down to Ozarks.

f*ck everyone else. f*ck this. f*ck!

♪ Andrew, there's more I could say
But it's ♪

♪ Finally fading away ♪

♪ I don't hate you ♪
No, not at all

♪ But don't write me
'Cause I won't respond ♪

f*ck all of you.

Chirp.