01x01 - Rumors

[bunniefuu]

cheerleader try
-outs this week! do u have what it takes to be a cheerleader ok! i know what u are thinking Me Lizzie McGuire? cheerleader? What up with that? I mean nothing could be more superficial demeaning and shallow.

Cheerleading is like this plot to make girls feel bad about themselves.

But I hope I make it! I hope I make it! I hope I make it! You want to try out for cheerleader? Are you crazy? Do you want to risk humiliating yourself in front of the whole school? Uh! I have a chance.

-Uh! if you ask me

-Not gonna.

Any group activity that forces others to be happy is by nature evil.

And that's why I didn't ask.

I just don't understandthis herd mentality that you know tells us what to wear what to watch what to eat.

Mmm! McNuggets! Look! I had no idea it was going to be this bad.

All right, that's it.

I am so out of here.

McGuire? Lizzie.

Oh, th
-that's me.

The only thing worse than my cheerleading was nothing.

At least I didn't try out for javelin.

Ow! Season 1 Episode 1 Rumors ♪ If you believe ♪ ♪ We've got a picture
-perfect plan ♪ ♪ We've got you fooled ♪ ♪ 'Cause we only do the best we can ♪ ♪ And sometimes we make it ♪ ♪ And sometimes we fake it ♪ ♪ But we get one step closer each and every day ♪ ♪ We'll figure it out on the way.

♪ I never liked cheerleaders anyway.

They were always so snooty.

And you Lizzie McGuire are no snoot.

Lizzie McGuire Dad, really, it's
-it's no big.

No big at all.

I merely cemented my social status to that of a nobody for
-
- oh! I don't know
-
-eternity! Lizzie, if it makes you feel any better.

I was never a cheerleader and my life turned out just fine.

That's relative.

Look what you have for a son.

Here! ugly, little Lizzie.

Here, girl.

What did you call that thing? Ugly.

You called it Lizzie.

Well, there's no denying the resemblance.

Hey! Children.

Oh, Dad, here's her instructions.

Oh, that's cool.

Look at that.

Lighting, humidity, constipation.

I'm outtie.

Book report due tomorrow.

I haven't even finished the book.

Uh, Lizzie Are you sure you're okay? Mom, it's
-it's fine, really.

I'm not the"cheerleader type.

" I'm
-I'm more of a band geek.

Lizzie McGuire, you are not a geek.

Lizzie McGuire You are beautiful.

You have great friends Gordo and Miranda are wonderful kids.

You're
-you're smart.

You're decent.

You're compassionate.

Here we go
-
- Pep talk number 243 from The Mother & Daughter Handbook.

(You're cute, funny, talented and there's nothing geek about you) It's not that what she's saying is so bad.

It's just that I've heard it 17 times already today which makes the whole thing even more pathetic than usual.

A
-a
-and you're helpful around the house.

You forgot "kind to strangers.

" Yeah! she's that too.

And don't forget
-
- she's housebroken.

Oh! Miranda.

I'm telling you now to avoid major devastation tomorrow.

Kate made cheerleader? Well you know why she made it, don't you? why? Because Kate stuffs her bra.

Man, locked up again! Uh
-oh.

message sent to class roster uh
-oh You mean the instant message went out to everyone in the whole school? Just the people with computers.

Oh, that
-that can't be more than, uh, 86%.

I'm over.

Kate is going to crush me.

Okay, which one of you did it? I
-I Uh uh I
-I
-I uh You what? Uh I Um um Uh I did it, Kate.

I'm really sorry.

Hey! Kate! Got any extra tissue? You are so gonna pay for this.

I cant believe I'm standing here letting Miranda take the rap.

What am I made out of jelly? What's your problem? I said I was sorry.

On the other hand, how lucky to have a friend like Miranda who handles conflict so well.

Well, sorry, doesn't cut it.

I'd watch it if I were you.

Is that a thr*at? Could be.

See you around.

Oh, I'll be around.

Okay, why did you do that? Why didn't you just let me tell Kate that I sent the instant message? Please, you can't handle this kind of conflict.

Yes, I can.

What are you talking about? You ate strawberry ice cream at Bethany Edelstein's birthday party even though you're allergic.

You swelled up like a balloon.

I was being polite.

I happen to handle conflict just fine.

Instant replay, Lizzie.

I I I Okay, so maybe I'm not the best with it but I cannot let you do this.

I'm not scared of Kate.

Oh, and like I am? Okay, so maybe a little.

I don't mind, really.

Finally standing up to Kate might be fun.

Who am I to deny my best friend the thing that makes her happy? She was in there this morning.

You don't think she could have escaped, do you? ♪ This was all a sad mistake ♪ ♪ It's not my fault at all ♪ ♪ It wasn't meant to be this way ♪ ♪ Where are you now? ♪ ♪ Tell me where are you now? ♪ Honey? Honey? Honey! Danny Kessler wants to talk to me? That's what he told me in Socs There he is, over there.

Why don't you go see what he wants? What should I do? Here, um, have a mint And go talk to him.

Better give me two.

I had the chili.

Ugh!
-
-
-
-Hi! Danny.


-
-
-
-Um! hi.

Claire said you wanted to talk to me.

Uh no.

Really? Yeah.

You're sure, because Mom! Dad!Hey! Home early, huh? Yeah.

Mrs.

Gerber let me out early to check on Lizzie.

Huh.

That's cool.

Yeah, she even gave me this bag of worms to feed her as a treat.

worms£¿Food.

you know that reminds me i've got a great lunch for u.

come on Here, Lizzie.

Here, girl.

Hmm, she must be still sleeping.

Really? Where? There.

Oh, I thought that was a stick.

Her color's weird.

She seems grayer than usual.

Hmm, colder too.

You did change her water this morning, didn't you Dad?
- Me? I thought you
- Of course he did.

Then why is her? Then why is she? She looks dead! Do you know what this means? I'll never be able to show my face in school again.

Not ever.

♪ He's giving you the blues ♪ ♪ You want to graduate but not in his bed ♪ ♪ Here's what you've got to do ♪ ♪ Pick up the phone, I'm always home ♪ ♪ Call me anytime ♪ ♪ Just ring 36
-24
-36, hey ♪ ♪ I lead a life of crime ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap! ♪ Please, you can't handle this kind of conflict conflict.

Lizzie, you're a coward coward.

♪ Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap! ♪ ♪ Dirty deeds and they're done dirt cheap! ♪ Ugh! I think I'm getting an ulcer.

Big deal, so you can't handle conflict.

I can't handle broccoli.

So I learned to avoid it.

That's all you're doing.

I can't figure out which one's worse: Me feeling guilty because I'm letting Miranda fight my battle or being petrified at the thought of telling Kate the truth.

The herd will learn to follow a new path.

You'll see.

I don't know Good, you guys are here.

Please tell me u and Kate made up.

Sanchez! Not exactly.

Oh, man.

Y
-you've taken this thing nuclear.

You've really done it now.

Well, you know me
-
- I'm a big fan of color Welcome to the club.

I think I can, I think I can Kate, wait.

What? Uh Ni
-nice manicure.

Whatever.

You just wait! Miranda.

If it's the last thing I do£¬I'm going to get you.

I can't.

We are gathered here today to bid adieu to Lizzie the lizard.

She was a good lizard.

Yes, she was.

Right, she was a good lizard.

Matt, you wanted to say a few words? When I think of Lizzie the things I remember most are the way she looked at me and smiled when I came home with her treat.

.

and the way her beady little eyes shined and the way her tail wagged.

Lizzie was more than just a class project to me.

She was a friend.

A good friend¡£ A good friend.


-
-I did it Kate.

I'm really sorry.

You are so gonna pay for this.

Is that a thr*at? It could be.

See you around.

Oh, I'll be around.

Lizzie, the service is over.

Matt, what do you say we rethink bringing home the hamsters next month? Are you kidding? Like I'm even showing my face in school after this.

I can't show up without Lizzie.

Matt, your classmates will understand.

Two weeks ago Gina Meyerhoff accidentally stepped on the class centipede She only sprained one of its legs.

But Gina After two days of t*rture she asked to be moved to another class.

Nobody's heard from her since.

Rumor has it she fled the country.

You know, I swear that manual didn't say a thing about changing the water.

Whatever.

m*rder*r.

Knock, knock.

Please don't ask me what's wrong.

Please don't ask me what's wrong.

Please don't ask me what's wrong.

What's wrong? come on.

What tipped you off? Well, you seemed so sad downstairs and I know you could care less about your brother or his lizard.

and I know you could care less about your brother or his lizard.

So spill.

Okay Did you ever let someone take the blame for something that you did? Yeah I backed my dad's car into a tree and I let my sister take the blame.

Ha! I knew it.

Mom's not perfect; she only pretends to be.

So what happened? Finally, I just broke down and told everybody the truth.

Did you get in trouble? Yeah.

But I felt a lot better.

Honey, I don't know the details here but if it's something that you think you can fix then you should, sweetie.

Because, who knows you might feel good enough to to start being mean to your brother again.

Oh, Kate, there you are.

Miranda
-
- she didn't start that rumor.

i did But I'd back off if I were you.

Unless, of course, you want things to get ugly.

So how was that? Who cares? My lizard's dead.

Matt, pay attention.

Okay.

Kate! Yeah? I just wanted to well? Okay, I just wanted to tell you that I haven't got all day.

Right.

I just wanted to tell you that, um Your shoelaces are untied.

Freak.

Did you just call my friend a freak? She would have to be a freak to be your friend.

I'm not the one with green hair.

That's it.

I've gone easy on u.

That little stunt with Danny Kessler and the posters all over the school
-
- those were nothing.

I'm a cheerleader
-
- I can turn the whole school against you.

The whole school? No.

Just everyone who's going to the pep rally.

Poor Matt.

His confidence must be so shaken.

I mean, Lizzie the lizard alive one day dead and buried the next.

Huh? what? It says here, lizards hibernate They appear dead while they're actually sleeping.

Well, that's great! Yeah.

Now Matt can take her back to class and Uh
-oh.

Trouble! Matt! She's really sleeping? Oh, sure.

Can't you hear her snoring? They sleep on their backs with their little feetup in the air like that? Yeah.

There's something in here about sleeping positions.

Okay.

Uh, honey, why don't you keep the box open 'cause she could probably use some air.

Yeah, just a thought, Matt.

You might want to turn her back over on her little feet before you bring her back to school.

Yeah sure.

Why is going to a pep rally required? Like the school day isn't embarrassing enough without having to sing about it? I actually feel kind of sorry for her.

Really? No.

Okay, that's it.

I can't take it anymore.

I have to tell her.

Lizzie, don't.

I can handle this.

I can totally handle this.

Possibly.

No, no.

You know what? I can handle this.

I started this whole thing and I'm finally going to take responsibility and I'm going to finish it.

Kate.

We've got to talk.

Yeah? I Um I
-I Ticktock, ticktock.

Miranda didn't do it; I did.

Did what?
-
-
-
-Um I
-I um
-
-
-
-Hello? Bored.

Um Hey! You touched me! Yeah.

I wasn't finished talking to you.

What has gotten into you? Okay, listen.

Miranda didn't write that instant message; I did.

I was jealous that you made cheerleader and I didn't.

I'm sorry about what I wrote; it was rude.

And I wish I could take it back.

Wow.

I have to say, Lizzie I didn't think you had it in you to stand up to me.

Good for you.

I've been practicing.

I guess that means you're not going to ruin Miranda's life? No, of course not.

That would be mean.

Never laid a glove on me.

OK One, two, three huh! ♪ U
-G
-L
-Y ♪ ♪ You ain't got no alibi ♪ ♪ You ugly, Yeah, yeah, you ugly ♪ ♪ U
-G
-L
-Y ♪ ♪ You ain't got no alibi ♪ ♪ You ugly, Yeah, yeah, you ugly ♪ ♪ U
-G
-L
-Y ♪ ♪ You ain't go no alibi ♪ ♪ You ugly, Yeah, yeah, you ugly ♪ ♪ Two four, six, eight ♪ ♪ Who's the girl we love to hate? ♪ ♪ Lizzie, Lizzie ♪ ♪ Big loser, Loser ♪ ♪ Lizzie, Lizzie ♪ ♪ Big loser, loser ♪ ♪ Big loser! ♪ This is so not good.

You're right, Miranda.

Standing up to Kate was actually fun.

But everyone's staring at you Well at least they know who I am now.

Hey, loser! I mean, I feel like a huge weight's been lifted.

Well, I for one am glad it's over.

Yeah, and Next time I'll try to step up a little quicker.

Did you guys hear? Larry Tudgemen picked his nose and had a snack and DannyKessler caught it on tape.

Well, you're officially yesterday's news.

The herd's moved on.

So, you guys want to go see if we can find a copy of that tape? Let's go.