02x08 - Just Friends

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Lizzie McGuire". Aired: January 12, 2001 – February 14, 2004.*
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Series follows Lizzie McGuire, a thirteen-year-old girl who faces the personal and social issues of adolescence.
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02x08 - Just Friends

Post by bunniefuu »

Really, Kate.

You're asking me out.

I knew you'd come around, but tell me what made you wake up and smell the Tudge? Was it my charming smile? The fact that I've seen Lord of the Rings 12 times Okay, dollface, you can pick me up at 7:00.

Till then, give me some sugar Was that good for you? Okay, so Tudgeman finally cracked.

It's his diet.

He lives on fish sticks and cream soda.

He hasn't cracked.

He's just excited about the Sadie Hawkins Day Dance.

Since the girls ask the guys.

This is his big chance.

Okay, but does he actually think that Kate is going to ask him? Okay, he's cracked.

You know, Lizzie no one's asked Ethan to the dance yet.

-Yes! -You should ask him.

-No.

-Why not? You're always talking about the guy, but you never ever do anything.

Lizzie, Ethan obviously likes you and you're gaga for him so just ask him.

He'll say yes and we won't have to go over this every single time.

You know what? You're right.

I don't have to wait for him to ask.

I mean, I have my own power.

I can see it and I can be it.

Okay, I didn't see that.

If you believe We've got a picture-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S02E08 Just Friends So, I've been practicing my speech asking Ethan out.

-You be Ethan, okay? -Yo, Lizzie! Um, so, Ethan, the Sadie Hawkins Dance is coming up soon.

My cousin had a hamster named Jolie.

And, um I was wondering if anyone had asked you yet.

Yesterday, I learned how to tie my shoes.

Now I forgot.

-Okay, Gordo, stop.

This is serious.

-Sorry.

Go ahead.

So, um, if no one's asked you yet I was wondering if you might want to go with me.

Look at the noise I can make.

How mad can I get? I mean, face it.

Most of the animals at Dolphin World are smarter than Ethan.

Gordo, okay, you were the one who encouraged me to ask him.

Do you have a date yet for the dance? I'm not too worried about it yet.

I'm at a stage in my life where girls just don't value what I have to offer.

I'll have women all over me after I'm invented my new software application I bought my own jet, and I'm running, like, five corporations from my island off the coast of Spain.

You know, when I'm, like, 20.

Till then, just have to lay low and get plenty of rest.

Oh, my gosh, here, here he comes.

Hey, Ethan, how's it going? Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie, my day is proceeding with fineness.

So, the Sadie Hawkins Dance is coming up and I was wondering if anyone had asked you yet.

Please say no! Please say no! Please say no! No.

So far, I'm paddling my kayak alone.

This is it.

I'm about to dive into the waters of romance.

If no one's asked you, I was wondering if you might want to, you know, go with me.

Really? Me and you? That's really nice and everything but I always thought of you more as a friend.

I mean, I really like you as a person and everything but I just can't see you as, you know, my romantic type.

Oh, okay.

Um, that's cool, then.

I see you as a friend, too.

So we'll be friends.

Coolness.

So see you later.

Evil Dr.

Matt's sinister transformation formula nears completion.

Lanny, bring me the vanilla extract.

Hold on there, Lanny.

You're missing your hump.

There you go.

Matt, what are you doing? Inventing the potion that will usher in thousands of years of evil! Okay.

Well, don't break anything.

And don't touch my pineapple chunks.

I'm making fruit kabobs later.

Now, Lanny throw the switch! Enough! Actually, you know, that's very good.

Don't say another word, Lanny because as usual you're completely correct.

Forget a thousand years of evil.

We can sell this to our friends and make a fortun Where does Ethan get off turning you down? I don't know.

I mean, I just always thought he kind of liked me.

He does like you.

He just, you know, - doesn't "like you" like you.

-Well, why not?! I mean -I'm decent-looking.

-You're very pretty.

-And I'm a nice person.

-You're a great person.

and I'm wild and unpredictable You're a great person.

You know, I bet Ethan's looking for some wild, crazy Drew Barrymore type of girl.

Mm, no.

Last year he liked Deniece Palmer -and she's even duller than you.

-Gor Not to say that you're dull, of course.

Just You're just not Ethan's type.

But why can't I be? I mean, I can change.

I can be anything that he's looking for.

That's right.

He wants a party girl? I can be a party girl.

He wants artsy? I can be artsy.

He wants intellectual? Oh, who am I kidding? Ethan can't even spell intellectual.

But what is he looking for? What do you even know about the guy? Well, I know that he's a total hottie.

Well, there's a rock-solid foundation.

We'll go from there.

Here you go, chief.

Just sell the stuff already.

I've been waiting in line for half an hour.

Going to be late for my 4-H Club meeting.

I raise sheep.

The crowd's getting restless, Lanny.

Hey, you know what goes great with a delicious supersonic tonic? A few impressions.

Hoo-ha! What you doing throwing all that trash around for? You go pick that up, you swamp bugs! That's Mr.

Beaudreaux the school janitor.

Lanny, I think we're on our way to being the hosts of the hottest spot in town.

Keep mixing, Lanny.

Hoo-ha, I'll go get y'all some breakfast.

Okay, do you see Ethan? Got him.

Well, who's he talking to? What's he doing? What can we tell about him that we don't already know? He's giving some of his sandwich to a pigeon.

Oh, he likes nature.

I can talk to him about that.

Okay, some more pigeons coming over to get in on it.

There are lots, lots of pigeons.

They're, they're kind of swarming him.

Trying to get away.

He's running.

They're chasing him.

Run, Ethan, run! Ah, he just ran into a pole.

Oh, so he likes nature and he's nearsighted.

Okay, time for some more close-up surveillance.

Hey, Ethan, what's up? Hey, Gor-don.

So, girls, they're great, right? Oh, yeah, girls are awesome.

-Hey, Ethan.

-Yeah, I'll say.

So, you know what kind of girls I like? I like European, real sophisticated types.

Like Britney Spears.

Yeah, sure.

Anyway, so what kind of girls do you like? I don't know.

I always liked kind of mysterious type of women.

It's like they know something you don't but you really want to know what that is.

So, you like girls who know things that you don't.

You know what? That doesn't really narrow it down very much.

You know, like the type of girls in old detective movies.

They're all quiet and dangerous but you just can't stay away.

Right.

I got you.

You know, I never really get to talk about this kind of stuff.

It's kind of nice having somebodyto talk to about it.

We should hang out more.

No, I don't think so.

See ya.

Mysterious, quiet type.

Come on.

(Jump5 - All I Can Do) I know some people think that opposites attract If that's the truth then we, we belong together forever It's like I got nothing to do but think about you I've got all the time in the world If you look in my heart you'll know from the start That it's all I can do not to think about you Nothing to do but think about you I got all the time in the world If you're looking for fun you'll know from the start It's all I can do not to think about you.

Okay, so he loves Roald Dahl books, especially Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

He loves the Oompa Loompas.

All right, I'm ready.

Next time Ethan sees me.

I'm going to be the girl of his dreams A drop of grape soda, a teaspoon of golf, a pinch of Oompa Loompa and presto.

Okay, the formula needs some work.

Maybe a dash more Oompa Loompa.

Come on, this way.

Thanks.

I need these for the guests.

Hey, those are mine.

Oh, hey, table three wants to hear some P.

Diddy.

-Oh, um, I'm allergic to guacamole.

-Tudgeman.

-Those are mine, you little weasel.

-What did I do? Best table in the house for our big spenders.

Thanks, but we're here to see your sister.

Oh, okay, well, thanks for coming by.

Come again soon.

Deadbeats.

So, um, Ethan said he wanted mystery.

Does this hat look like a mystery woman to you? Are mystery women and bag lady the same thing? Then no.

On the plus side, I snagged some golf magazines from my dad's waiting room.

Knock yourself out.

-Honey, you going to take up golf? -Uh, yeah, Mom.

Do those have to do with making Ethan Craft like you? You told her? Why would you tell her? All parents ever want to do is poke holes in things.

You know, poke, poke, poke, poke poke! Here we go.

All Mom wants to do is interfere with my life.

Mom, I really like golf.

It's so fast-paced.

You know, when I was your age, there was a group of kids that I really wanted to be friends with, and I changed everything about myself to make them like me.

I changed the way I dressed, the way I talked , my whole personality.

Hey, I guess she doesn't want to interfere.

She just wants to tell some pointless story.

And in the end, they still wouldn't hang out with me.

Wow, really? Maybe you didn't do it right.

We're going to be upstairs.

Well, hello, handsome.

Whoa! Lizzie, you look Whoa.

Where'd you get those clothes? Be mysterious.

Be mysterious! Where do any of us get our clothes, Ethan? That's mysterious.

I have no idea what that meant I get mine at Denlay Outfitters over on Beacon Street.

-Oh, do you? -Why? Shouldn't I? Lizzie, golf this Saturday, right? Yeah.

See you at the first tee.

You like golf? I love golf.

The problem is I keep hooking my tee sh*ts.

Oh, well, you know what really helps me is I listen to Ja Rule when I practice.

I love listening to that guy.

What's your favorite song? I like golf.

Don't you like golf? Oh, I love golf.

This is so great.

-Here's the soda you wanted, Lizzie.

-Thank you.

This is scary.

Grape soda is like my favorite drink ever in the history of the world.

Oh, is it? Enjoy.

Compliments of Lizzie McGuire.

Ow! My eyes! Drink up, sunshine.

It'll make a man out of you.

-How you doing, Mattie? -Tudge! Hey ya, Tudge, how's life treating you? Like a baby treats a diaper.

So set me up.

All right, what's the deal here? Uh-oh, Lanny, it's Sonny Masurosky.

Hey, Patterson, I don't see you over at my house anymore.

How's that supposed to make me feel? I'm sorry, Sonny.

I'll be there tomorrow.

-More like right now.

-Okay.

Sorry.

What happens at that guy's house? Sonny's parents have a 70-inch TV and a satellite dish.

He charges people to watch in the afternoon.

Satellite dish? Patterson, wait up.

You're costing me money.

All my customers are hanging out here.

Yeah.

So? So I'm shutting you down.

And I want your drink recipe.

Oh, yeah? Well, I want a solid gold Indy car.

Doesn't mean it's going to happen.

Let me break it down so you'll understand.

You shut down or you start spending every lunch period at school in the trash can outside the cafeteria.

Okay, everybody out.

Everybody out.

Out! Get out of here! Scoot.

Go, go, go, go, go.

Okay, what's in this? Well, some strawberries, ice three cloves of garlic a half a cup of pickle juice, a jalapeno pepper, two cups of fish oil I just can't believe that you like chili pastrami tortilla dogs, too.

Oh, yeah, they're my favorite.

Yum, yum, yum.

'Cause who really needs unclogged arteries anyway? You know what would go perfect with this would be a Everlasting Gobstopper.

Hey, that's from Willy Wonka.

That's like my favorite book.

That's incredible.

We both like the same things.

It is incredible.

So Are you, um going to the Sadie Hawkins Dance with anyone tonight? Nope.

Still flying solo.

Um, well, we should go together.

Oh, uh I thought I thought we had already understood each other about that.

About how we're just going to be friends.

Oh, well, um, we just have so much in common.

I know, it's weird It's like if I wrote down everything we both like on paper, we'd be perfect for each other.

You know, I like you and all but there's just no, uh Oh, sh**t, what's that subject - in high school that I'm never going to pass? -Chemistry? Yeah.

There's just no chemistry.

Does that make sense? No, but I guess this stuff doesn't always make sense.

and the great thing about that is I'm 14 so I only have to deal with this stuff for another like 80 years.

-I'm sorry.

-Yeah, me, too.

Maybe there's something better on another channel.

-What? Oh, sorry.

-Are you okay, sweetie? -Um yeah.

-You've given up golf, huh? There's the silver lining.

Golf pants look terrible on me.

Well, I like the old, non-golfing Lizzie better.

Yeah, why didn't you say so? Why didn't you tell me changing to please Ethan was never going to work? Wait, my diary says you did.

Well, never mind.

We're sorry the whole thing didn't work out for you.

If there's anything at all that we can do you just let us know.

Hmm, they don't want to control my life.

They just want me to be happy.

Thanks.

There's really nothing more we can say to her.

She'll bounce back from this.

You're probably right.

And since when did you become such an expert on teenage girls? I got dumped by enough of them.

I got cut loose by every girl I ever liked until I met the perfect woman.

So, you got any more of that supersonic tonic left? Ethan trouble? You know, if you drink this every time a guy dumps you, I'd better make a million gallons.

Uh, this is the part where you call me a "squeaky runt" or a "spiky-haired weasel" or something.

Sorry.

He didn't want to go out with me.

You know, Ethan's a cool guy and all.

He's just kind of "Duh!" Yeah, but knowing that someone's wrong for you doesn't change the way that you feel.

How much do I owe you? It's on the house.

I'm out of business.

-Sonny Masurosky shut me down.

-Life's unfair.

You said it, sister.

You said it.

Hey.

How are you doing? Oh, not bad.

My parents kept pulling the any-guy-would-be-lucky-to-go-out-with-you thing, so You want to go to the dance anyway? Nah.

I don't have a date.

Neither do I.

Well, I thought of someone I would ask but turns out-- Brad Pitt's married.

And as predicted, poor old Gordo's got zero invites.

The big goose egg.

Good morning, good afternoon and good night.

So, um, dance with me.

Play it, Lanny.

Come on.

Let's go.

This is Sadie Hawkins Day.

I am not going to be the wallflower For the record you are much better at being Lizzie than you are at being Ethan's type.

Yeah, well, it was fun for a while but I think I would have gotten sick of not being me.

See, if I were still Ethan's type I would have no idea how to do this.

I like you better as you.

Although that mystery woman thing was kind of -Oh, you think so? -Isn't that what I just said? Did you? Did you really? Don't touch my vanilla That was the wrong line again.

Yeah.

Golf maga On the plus side, I took some math Doesn't mean it's going to happen.
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