[ominous music building]
[Marla sobbing]
Tell me what to do.
I'm so f*cking angry.
I'm so f*cking mad.
-[man] Marla--
-I'm so mad. I'm so angry.
-Give it time.
-[Marla breathing shakily]
Give it time. Give it time.
[phone ringing]
[Marla]
I don't want to pick it up.
[phone ringing]
[Marla]
It's not gonna be okay.
I want to k*ll her.
[phone line ringing]
[Marian, over phone]
I'm worried about you.
You're my sister.
I can't find Mom anywhere.
Marla, you need to go back.
[woman]
What happened to your mother?
[g*nsh*t]
[tense music playing]
[Marla panting]
[woman] Where were you
when it happened?
[radio static]
[Marla]
I haven't slept for 156 hours.
I'm not tired, but I am.
-I have PTSD...
-[Marian] Marla.
[Marla] ...from something.
Or I'm schizophrenic
and paranoid.
At least that's
what my doctor told me,
or some doctor told me.
You're schizophrenic
and paranoid.
That may
or may not be true.
[Marla] I don't know
if this is now
or somewhere in between
when it happened.
Marla. Marla.
[Marla] In limbo.
[doctor] Just my expertise.
[indistinct].
-You seem to be--
-[echoing] Far gone.
[Marla]
Perhaps this is the beginning.
[Blank] Mmm.
[Blank] You f*cked up.
I told you not to get mixed up
with the wrong crowd,
and now look at you.
f*cked!
Mm-mm. No. No. Stop.
Resistance!
Why are you here, man?
I need my stuff.
I need to get out of here.
I can't stay here anymore.
They're coming for me.
You want to make problems,
blame yourself,
and get caught for nothing.
Right? Right?
Right.
You better stop
before I ask you to leave.
[Marla gasping]
I know you don't have
anywhere else to go.
[gasping]
It's in your head.
[coughing]
Oh, f*ck, dude.
My mother's dead.
It's all a blank.
It's all scrambled,
missing pieces of information.
It feels like
it's my fault.
[ominous music building]
Wanna watch a movie?
[Marla] This shitbag
right here is my best friend.
Hard to tell.
But everything I see lately
is so f*cked up...
I wouldn't be surprised
if this was not true either.
[static]
I can't seem to sleep
and I can't seem
to wake up.
I'll be out of here
by morning.
[screaming]
[mellow R&B music playing]
[radio host]
We had our winner call in
and now it's time
for the facts.
[tires screeching]
[radio host]
The ancient Egyptians believed
that mirages are the ghosts
of objects in places
that once existed in reality
that have already disappeared.
[eerie music playing]
[phone ringing]
[ringing continues]
[ringing]
[eerie music building]
[ringing]
[bike bell ringing]
[Mother]
All right, come back home!
You're a good girl.
Don't forget that.
[phone continues ringing]
Marla...
[Mother] Marla.
Here.
This will be fun.
Just like in the movies.
The Old West.
See that point
right over there?
You can get there
without your training wheels.
Yeah? You gonna show me?
-Yeah.
-Okay.
And when you get there...
sh**t 'em up.
Yeah?
Okay.
Go, Marla, go!
You're almost there!
Yeah, Marla!
sh**t 'em up!
[g*nsh*t f*ring]
[Marla] It's possible
and it's not possible
that it didn't happen
this way.
[squeaking]
[Marla]
This looks familiar.
This was
before my mom d*ed.
Got water out back.
A range.
-Why do you need a g*n?
-Protection.
Shitty people.
You never know
what's gonna happen.
Hmm. Been there.
Everybody needs protection.
This world's
a g*dd*mn hellhole.
I think
you've had this one before.
It's more of a classic.
House price, 70 bucks.
I think I k*lled
my mother with this g*n.
Yeah.
We all feel
that way sometimes.
[Marla] Paranoia sets in.
Now.
[bottles clattering]
[water sloshing]
[eerie music building]
[Marla]
The best way to keep people
away
is to look hurt or sick.
No one will approach you.
They're too afraid of anything
past the normal state of human,
which is usually neutral.
And don't smile in public.
If there's anything
I've learned,
it's not to share that kind
of w*apon with leeches.
They leap like leopards
only to steal your light.
[mellow techno b*at playing]
Oh, f*ck.
The moment you walked in...
I knew it was you.
Special kind of lady.
[Marla] I'm alone.
He probably knew that.
-I did.
-[dinging]
[Marla]
The goal is to escape, to run.
It hurts more
than it feels better.
How do I get out of here?
[man]
You've already disappeared.
[muffled guitar playing]
I can't sleep.
[in Spanish]
["That's All Right" playing]
Well, that's all right, mama
That's all right for you
That's all right, mama
[music fading]
[ominous music playing]
[Marla] I'm good here.
Right?
Alone.
[knocking on door]
[housekeeper] Housekeeping.
No, I'm-- I'm okay.
Thank you.
Hello?
["That's All Right" continues]
No. No.
[knocking continues]
[whispers] What the f*ck?
I don't have all day.
Yes. Yes.
My God.
Your eyes.
Are you tired?
What-- what happened?
You know, I know you didn't
knock the door down for my eyes.
What do you want?
-Maybe some towels?
-No.
-No, I really don't need--
-Conditioner?
-I don't need anything.
-Soap?
You can leave.
I don't need anything
and I don't need
any help.
-So, please go.
-Wow.
You are so mean, Nena.
You know my mother
used to tell me that?
She used to tell me
that I was worthless,
that I was uneducated,
and that nobody liked me
and nobody liked it
when I was around.
And now she's--
she's dead.
And, um...
and I...
I can't-- I can't--
I can't remember.
I just...
I can't remember...
what I did wrong.
I'm so sorry.
I understand.
Take this.
You need to take care
of yourself.
You need to rest.
[housekeeper speaking Spanish]
[children playing in background]
[soft chime melody playing]
[Mother]
Look what you've done.
You need to learn
how to talk, Marla.
Speak up for yourself.
Here.
I can't drink milk.
It's just
one simple thing, Marla.
I told you
I can't drink milk.
Makes you upset
to repeat yourself.
No, it makes me upset
that you can't hear me.
[sighs]
That's good.
Stop looking at me
like that, Marla.
What do you want?
You don't even
have a family.
[scoffs] You're alone.
Your sister has a family.
You? What are you?
Still trying to hang on.
No one likes it
when you're around.
You need
to look at your life, Marla.
Why have you put yourself
in this position?
There must be a reason.
When you're alone,
you have no one.
[glass shattering]
I don't feel safe here.
[Mother] g*dd*mn it!
I don't feel safe here.
[Mother]
Look what you just did.
I don't feel safe here.
[Mother]
Look at that mess.
[tense music playing]
Well, go ahead.
Walk on it.
Do it.
I don't feel safe here.
[young Marla] No, Mom.
What did you say to me?
Walk!
-Walk!
-No!
Walk! Do it!
I don't feel safe here.
I don't feel safe here.
[music building]
Wake up.
Wake up.
Wake up.
[phone line ringing]
[Marla] Right there.
Mom?
I just wanted to call...
to see if you were
doing all right.
[sighs] And I wanted
to say that I was sorry.
I'm sorry.
Will you please forgive me?
[Sheriff John] Marla?
-Hello?
-This is the police.
Marla, your mother is dead.
[Marla sobbing]
[Sheriff John] On the night
it happened, you were there.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[Sheriff John] We have reason
to believe you are at fault.
I couldn't reach it.
[Sheriff John]
You have caused harm.
I didn't do it!
[Sheriff John]
You seem to be the problem.
I didn't do it!
[Sheriff John] You can't keep
deceiving us, Marla.
I wouldn't k*ll my mother!
[Sheriff John]
It's easier to face the truth.
[daunting music building]
[Marla] I didn't mean it.
[Marla breathing heavily]
[Sheriff John] Marla Dayton,
we have a few questions
for you about your mother.
[siren wailing]
[Marla panting]
[Marla sobbing]
[siren continues wailing]
[sobbing] I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
[fireworks exploding]
Mom?
Why do we have
to lock the door?
Sometimes I lock it
because I need to be alone.
It's always right up here.
Please help me.
I don't know how I got here.
I don't know how this happened,
but I don't have any--
[indistinct]
I'm sorry.
Please don't leave me.
You're all I have. [sniffles]
Please help me.
[Marian] Come on, Marla.
[music fades]
[birds chirping]
[Marla sighs]
[Marian]
Don't read that now.
It just says
I'll be with you forever.
Always.
[Marla]
I'm the kind of person...
who doesn't know
when to stop.
But when you don't want
to know who you are...
[engine starts]
...you'll run as far
as you can to disappear.
[engine revs]
[radio host]
Up for a good old time?
Come on down
to Donna's Ranch in Texas.
Our girls are the real deal
and a hoot of a good time.
Come on down.
["Everybody Loves My Baby"
playing]
[woman on TV]
I like this place because...
the connections I share here
with some of the people,
like...
it's special and...
there's love in it, you know?
Come on, birdie,
come on here
I've got something
I want you to hear
About someone
that I hold dear
I've got to let it out
It's my papa,
can't you guess?
Wild about him
I have been
Does he love me?
Oh, my, yes
That's just why I shout
Everybody loves my baby
But my baby
don't love nobody but me
Oh, my, couldn't he
Everybody wants my baby
But my baby
don't want nobody but me
And that's plain to see
-Hello.
-Hi.
You see my boss here?
He's a special client.
He's got specific wants.
Specific needs.
I just want to make sure
his needs can be met here.
Okay.
What do you say, pretty lady?
[daunting music building]
Are you available?
Sure.
[music fades]
Well...
what should we do first?
Anything
you'd like to do, sir.
That's good.
I'd like to
talk to you
a little bit.
Would you lie to me?
Sure.
If you'd like me to.
If it makes it better.
No, no, no. Forget it.
Never mind.
This is not gonna work. Go--
go away. Go away from me.
-What is it?
-Go away!
[Marla] I can do
anything you'd like
if it pleases you.
Are you serious
about that?
About pleasing?
[eerie music building]
Why don't you sit down
on that chair?
[ominous music playing]
Right now, this second...
how is it that you feel?
I don't share that.
I-- I can't share
that with you.
You share your body willingly.
I can't share that with you.
I don't share that.
Listen, I have more money.
I-- I can pay you
more money.
I-- I can't.
Nothing at all?
I don't feel anything.
Whatever is going on inside you,
you feel it there anyway.
You're just--
you're just not aware of it now.
I don't feel anything.
Feel.
-Please.
-Feel.
-Stop.
-Feel, describe it to me.
Feel something.
[sobbing] Please, stop.
Feel everything!
I don't feel anything.
Feel.
[sobs] I feel scared.
-Feel.
-I feel scared.
Feel!
And alone.
You're guilty.
But where...
does it come from?
It's a sadness
deep in my core...
saying I cannot be loved.
Good.
That's so good.
That's so good.
["Everybody Loves My Baby"
speeds up]
Everybody want my baby
But my baby
don't want nobody but me
That's plain to see
[indistinct lyrics]
My baby loves me
One love, one love
For everybody loves my baby
But my baby
don't love nobody but me
[radio host] All right,
now is the time to call in,
WWZ, Name That Tune
and win tickets
to the state county fair.
Love my baby
And my baby
don't love nobody but me
[applause]
[radio host]
Third caller gets it.
["A Taste of Honey" playing]
The Boswell Sisters.
[radio host] Yes, that is right.
You are going to the fair.
-You are the winner.
-What?
Let's hear it,
pick up your tickets at WWZ.
-You're kidding me?
-Let's hear it for her, folks.
Thank you. Thank you.
[radio host] Now, here's
a little tune to bring it back.
[rapid knocking on door]
[in Spanish]
[music gets muffled]
[tense music building]
Why don't you
let us help you?
You're going the wrong way.
What are you doing here?
Marla, where are you?
[indistinct, distorted speaking]
We have
a few questions for you.
[radio playing in background]
Stop! Stop now.
I'm stopped.
Now.
We understand
you may be on the loose
and losing your mind.
Sure. Maybe.
I don't know.
That's fine, Marla.
-We've been trying to find you.
-We found you.
Okay.
I don't, um-- uh--
What do you want?
To bring you back.
-Take you.
-Back.
Am I being arrested?
Well, if you want
to be rested...
we can take you in
to get looked at.
-Seen.
-With eyes.
I don't want to go back
anywhere with anyone.
We're here to confuse you.
I mean, question you.
Your prints are everywhere.
[Officer Grey]
You were there.
[Officer Red]
The night it happened.
No, no. I left.
[Sheriff John]
I thought you couldn't remember.
-I can only remember pieces.
-What pieces?
[Officer Red]
Why are you seeing things?
I don't know!
I don't know.
You have the right
to remain quiet.
All you say or do
will be used against you.
[Marla grunts]
[Sheriff John]
You need to come.
[whispers]
I don't feel safe here.
You need
to accept this, Marla.
How it is.
How I am.
Let me go.
What the f*ck?
No way.
Can I come in?
[indistinct talking on radio]
It's good to see you.
You okay?
Yeah. Yeah, I'm good.
I'm good, uh,
other than the fact
that I feel like
I'm living in a g*dd*mn limbo
and I can't get out
and I don't know
if there is going to be
a beginning or an end
or if this is even...
real.
I'm groovy.
[timer dings]
sh*t. Yes. The cookies.
I made sh*t special.
You are not real right now.
Does this
look real to you?
Does this
feel real to you?
You are not real
right now.
You are not real
right now.
This is not real right now.
What?
I look like
a damn dream.
[mellow indie music
playing in background]
Thank you.
Seems like someone
is chasing you.
It feels that way.
It's okay
to let that sh*t go.
When did you become so...
Old?
Yeah.
[Blank sighs]
I just got tired,
you know?
It's like life
is just too f*cking long
to be scared of sh*t.
Yeah.
You don't have
to be afraid.
I just feel so wrong...
for not feeling okay.
You feel weird
for not feeling okay?
Yeah. Yeah, that's normal.
Marla? Marla.
Marla, hey, hey.
Where are we? Where are we?
What are we thinking? Marla?
There she is. Oh!
[laughs] f*ck, yes!
Yeah! There she is!
f*ck yeah.
Do you still have
my childhood tapes?
Yeah, it's all memories though.
Do you wanna
watch a movie?
["When The Whirlwind Fades Out"
by Miriam Elhajli playing]
When the whirlwind fades out
Look around...
[Mother speaks
indistinctly on TV]
Do you have
to keep going away?
It's kind of hard
to love you when you leave.
[whispers]
Give me a break.
Why do you scold?
Figure standing at the end
And which [indistinct]
and crucifies
[ominous music playing]
You were there.
[Marla] I'm so mad.
I'm so angry.
You were there.
I told you I wouldn't tell you
what happened.
I told the cops
you weren't involved.
We have our story.
I don't understand.
You have to tell them.
You have to tell them
what happened.
They think I did it.
You have to tell them
what happened.
Well, I can't.
Why not?
Because I just know
how it ended.
I walked in.
Your mother was on the floor.
And you told me...
"I didn't mean to do it."
No.
No.
Stop, no. Stop.
-[Marla sobbing]
-It's okay. It's okay.
-Okay. It's okay, Marla.
-No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't do anything.
I didn't do it.
I didn't do anything.
I don't understand.
It's not your fault.
[eerie music building]
[scratching]
Police are
on their way, Marla.
They know where you are.
Did you really think
you could get away?
Don't come close to me.
Don't be that way.
Don't run
from your mistakes.
-You're gonna hurt me.
-I wanna talk to you, Marla.
Stop.
Don't come any closer.
I'm sorry!
Don't touch me!
I'm sorry!
I didn't want you to die!
[triangle chiming]
[Marla]
You don't feel safe here.
Thanks for letting me know.
I'm sorry.
What would you
like to do now?
Now that you know this?
Now that you know
you aren't safe?
I'm not sure
what's happening.
We kid ourselves a lot.
It's a way of living,
repeating cycles
of past wounds.
But it says here
you don't seem to like it.
And what would you
like to do now?
Now that you know this?
No one stays.
Uh, it says here,
um, you're running.
You're running away
from something?
You think
you k*lled your mother.
I did.
What you have is shame.
This blocks everything new
from happening in your life.
Love, especially.
Viewing through shame
stops all forward motions.
Change.
I can't sleep.
You've been asleep.
It's time to wake up.
You're right on time
if you choose
to let it be right.
You have to find out
where it all came from,
then you must
stop it from repeating.
That seems like a lot.
Oh, you--
you've already begun.
It's time to finish it.
Your prescription.
Undo all that's been done.
How the f*ck?
Oh, through here.
[daunting instrumental
tone playing]
Marla, your grandmother
passed away
while you were at camp.
I was gonna call her.
[Marla sobbing]
[Mother sighs]
All right, stop it, would you?
-You're upsetting me.
-Sorry.
-Stop it.
-I'm sorry.
Marla, pull yourself together.
Are you okay?
[kettle whistling]
[whistling stops]
What day is it?
Everything's going to be fine.
I'm glad mom is gone.
More tea?
I don't remember it
being this way.
Didn't you want it to?
We will take care
of everything tomorrow.
How are you so calm?
Are you questioning me?
After everything?
I'm trying to talk to you.
I'm trying to...
be here with you.
I don't understand.
Yeah, well, it's really hard
to help you, Marla.
Why?
I'm trying
to talk to you.
You think
you don't belong anywhere,
but I'm right here trying,
but you don't see it.
You don't want
to be let in.
Why?
I don't-- I don't get it.
Why is it so hard to help?
You need to go, Marla.
Stop looking at me
like our mother. I'm not her.
You're not her.
You need to go, Marla.
Your time is up here.
[inaudible chatter]
It's safe here.
-[triangle chiming]
-[water splashing]
Wanna eat, love?
[slurping]
That's f*cking gross.
I like coming here, dude.
Dude.
Enjoy one day, yeah?
Okay.
Marla, stop.
Oh, you just
want me to stop?
We all have to live
in the real world, right?
We all have to bounce back
and go to work,
do the same sh*t
we do every day.
But not you.
No, right?
Just throw
your little f*cking tantrum.
Like, what do you
want right now?
Just f*ck you.
[Blank scoffs] Are you done?
You've been dealing with
this same sh*t your entire life.
-Can you stop? Please?
-f*ck you.
Do you think
that this just stops?
That everything just
goes back to the way it was...
and that nothing is wrong?
You know
what happens here in this one?
You get mad
and you leave.
So, why
don't you change it?
Now that
I'm still here, Marla...
now what?
It doesn't really fit
the old story, does it?
Feels a little bit worse
than the worst sh*t ever.
It's 'cause
you're not used to love, Marla.
We're trying to help you.
And the only way
you're gonna get through this
is if you see that.
I really wish
you could see it.
I just want to go home.
Where is home to you?
Shh.
I got the key.
Now we can lock it...
so she can't get in.
[ominous instrumental building]
[Marla] And what does
home look like to you?
Create it.
Create a place
that you can go...
for only you
and no one else to know.
[indistinct
background conversations]
[soothing theremin
melody playing]
[clanging]
[clanging]
[water splashing]
[thudding]
[thudding]
Don't ever leave me.
Don't ever leave me.
[hopeful piano melody playing]
[Marla] I'll never forget
my mother's face
when she got released
from the hospital.
She was smiling.
She was calm.
She had this aura around her...
like she was finally free.
And again!
And again!
[both giggling]
I'm proud of you, Marla.
Proud of everything
you've done.
You're a good girl.
Don't forget that.
Okay?
[Marla]
What has happened before.
Where are we going?
[Marla] Um...
[sighs] I don't know.
Hmm, so you're
some kind of nihilist.
No, I'm not
some kind of nihilist.
I'm not a nihilist.
I'm not a nihilist.
I'm-- I'm-- I just-- I don't--
Where are you going?
Well, I'm a nihilist,
so I have no idea.
Really?
-You're a nihilist? Okay.
-That's right.
-Guilty as charged.
-[radio host] ...oldies but...
You like this?
[radio host] Keep on
listening for a chance to win
-tickets to your county fair.
-The radio?
It's just a station announcer.
[chuckles]
I know. I like him.
[Blank]
You can have this if you want.
-Really?
-Yeah.
-What is it?
-I don't know.
Never know
when you'll need it.
You're just gonna
give it to me?
Yeah, why not?
You deserve something nice.
I'm so happy right now.
I need to go back.
I need to go back,
I need to go back
so I can tell him
that I can see it clearly now.
If you could
take it all back...
you wouldn't know
what you know now.
[no audio]
Come back! Come back!
Don't go.
Don't go. Don't.
[crying]
I'm all alone.
Help me. [cries]
Help me.
-Wake up.
-Sleep.
You would need
to go to sleep to wake up.
What are you protecting
by being this way?
I couldn't save her.
Are you not worth
saving yourself?
I just want to understand.
She forgot we needed her.
[mellow jazz
instrumental playing]
Figure, why eat alone?
Is it good? [chuckling]
-In a rush?
-I don't have to go.
I-- I just didn't really know
what this was.
Why would you?
It just started.
I'm happy
to see you, Marian.
We're not really
here right now.
I was gonna say.
It's funny, it's...
it's like
you want it to be the same.
You want a lift?
[engine revving]
[whimsical instrumental
melody playing]
Come on, Marla!
[chimes dinging]
Sorry about our mother.
She was sick.
How did you feel about her?
I feel like she was a woman
who was never heard in her pain.
It happens.
No one deserves it,
it's just...
we don't know what to do
with all that weight.
[chimes dinging]
[Marian]
Don't read that now.
It just says
"I'll be with you forever.
Always."
[sincere melody playing]
[chimes dinging]
[Marla]
I don't want you to go.
You left.
[Marla] I had to go.
[sobs] It hurts too much.
[Marian]
I share your pain.
We have the same mother.
Tell me what I did wrong
so I can change.
Those people
that want you to change,
they're not around anymore.
[doctor]
This was you then.
[Marla] I believed myself.
I wanted connection.
-What kind of connection?
-The kind a mother gives.
And now?
I realize I never learned
what that looked like.
Do you now?
Please don't go.
Don't go. Please.
It's time, Marla.
And what if everything
could be different now?
Everything is different now.
Everything is different.
[Marla sobs]
Now.
[triangle chimes]
It's safe here.
I'm just so sad.
What's wrong?
I don't know
what to do anymore.
It's okay.
Are you okay?
I'm okay.
Where can we go?
Can we go anywhere?
[seagulls calling]
[waves crashing]
What do you like?
I don't know.
What do you like?
I don't know.
It's nice to just relax.
I like you.
You're cool.
I like you, too.
What did you have
for dinner last night?
Nothing.
-What did you have?
-Nothing.
Why not?
I just--
when I'm scared...
I don't feel hungry anymore.
I forget to eat.
How about from now on...
you get to do
whatever you want?
You deserve great things.
Okay?
Don't listen
to anybody else.
And you deserve
to smile and to laugh
and be unafraid.
No one's
ever gonna stop you.
Okay?
Anything?
Anything I want?
Anything.
You know what I like?
What?
I like to dream.
[sincere piano melody playing]
[Young Marla]
Why does it hurt?
[Marla] I don't want
to feel unlovable anymore.
I want to feel like
I'm able to be loved.
[Young Marla] I love you.
You're more than this.
I see the real you.
What did you need
someone to say?
It's not your fault!
It's not your fault!
It's not your fault.
-[crying]
-What will you tell me?
[Marla sniffling]
[Delores]
Are you okay, honey?
What happened?
Is there anything you need?
Anything? Anything at all?
I need to call my friend.
Everything's gonna be all right.
You're gonna be fine, love.
[Marla cries]
[piano melody continues]
Marla! [chuckles]
Are you real right now?
Yeah, I'm m*therf*cking real.
You're real?
This is real?
-Yes.
-No.
-Please believe it. [laughs]
-[Marla screams]
-I'm sorry.
-It's okay. It's okay.
Like a rapper with no chain,
like an April with no rain.
It just works.
We're friends.
Yeah.
Wanna talk?
[radio host] Now here's
a little tune to bring you
back.
Yeah.
["Toyland"
by Doris Day playing]
Toyland
Toyland
Little girl
And boy land
While you dwell within it
You are ever happy there
Again
[wind whooshing]
[thunder rumbling in distance]
Uh, Marla?
I think
we're supposed to go to there.
[phone ringing]
You know what?
That is what I'm seeing.
That is what it is.
That's a phone booth
in the middle of the road.
Right?
That is what I'm seeing.
That's messed up, right?
I don't know
who I am anymore.
I don't really know either,
but I think
I'm starting to get it.
Yeah.
We always have been
sort of, like, nuts,
so, what's fun?
[phone ringing]
You gotta go, Marla.
You gotta go.
It's, like, the only way
to deal with all of this.
And what if
I don't come back?
I'll come get you.
[phone ringing]
You're not alone, Marla.
We're all
made of dark parts.
Just gotta try
and face them.
You got this.
Go.
[tense music building]
-Nice of you to show up.
-[door closes]
Hey.
[Mother] Open your gift.
Happy birthday.
Hi, Mom.
This is for you.
Thanks, Mom.
I had one just like it
when I was a kid.
It's beautiful.
Mm-hmm.
I thought you would like it.
Let me see it.
Marla, put it down.
Mom, it's-- it's okay.
She can hold it.
Put that down.
It's your sister's.
[glass shattering]
-g*dd*mn it!
-I-- I--
-Look what you just f*cking did?
-Mom!
Try to have one nice night.
-I'll pick it up. I'm sorry.
-Yeah. Pick it up.
Pick it up right now. Do it.
-Pick it up!
-Stop it.
-Pick it up!
-Stop it! Stop it!
Mom! You're hurting her!
I don't care about hurting her.
She should see
how it feels for once.
What the f*ck is wrong with you?
What's wrong with you?
[Mother scoffs]
[chuckles scornfully]
Jesus Christ.
I'm not coming back here.
Well, no one
wants you here anyway, so...
You're not fit
to be a f*cking mother.
[panting]
[shrill chord plays]
Tell me what to do.
I don't know what to do.
I'm so f*cking angry.
-I'm so f*cking mad.
-[Blank] Marla.
I'm so mad. I'm so angry.
She's not gonna be okay.
I need to go back there.
Please give it time. Please?
I told her I hated her.
Give it time. Give it time.
-[phone ringing]
-Give it time.
Okay?
Okay?
[phone continues ringing]
I don't want to pick it up.
Rest. Come on, come on.
Come on, come on.
Come on, come on, come on.
[phone ringing]
[Marla sobbing]
I want to k*ll her.
[sniffling]
-Rest.
-I have to go back there.
Rest.
I have to go back.
[inhales sharply]
I have to go back there.
[answer machine clicks]
[Marian]
I can't find Mom anywhere.
I'm worried about you.
You're my sister.
Marla,
you need to go back there.
[birds chirping in distance]
[water splashing]
[mellow ambient music]
[Mother breathing shakily]
I don't feel safe here.
I don't feel safe here.
[Mother sniffling]
I'll be right back.
[oppressive music playing]
Mom!
Mom!
Mom, Mom, please, stop.
-Marla!
-Mom, stop!
Marla! Stop it.
Mom, please.
What are you doing? Let me go.
I want you to hear me.
I want you to hear me.
Leave it alone. Stop trying.
I need you to hear me.
I need you to hear me.
I love you.
I need you to hear that.
Please. Can you hear me?
Mom, please.
I don't want you to go.
I really don't want you to go.
Will you accept this?
How it is...
how it was, how I am.
This has nothing to do with you.
Nothing to do with you.
Do you hear me?
[music distorts]
Let me go.
[daunting instrumental building]
[music stops abruptly]
Mom?
Mom?
Mom?
[floor creaking]
[eerie, indiscernible
whispering]
Open the door, Mom.
[whispering intensifies]
[whispering stops]
[door creaking]
Mom?
I'm really sorry.
[Marla breathing shakily]
I'm--
I'm really sorry.
Are you okay?
I'm really sorry...
for-- for everything I said.
I didn't mean it.
I just want
to tell you something.
-I don't--
-Shh.
Shh.
This has nothing to do with you.
Let go.
[Marla inhales deeply]
Shh, shh.
[rhythmic whooshing]
This has nothing to do with you.
Let go.
[sighs deeply]
Mom?
-[g*nsh*t]
-Mom!
[Marla screaming] Mom!
[sobbing]
Mom? Mom!
Mom! Mom!
[Marla sobbing] Mom.
Mom.
[sobbing]
Mom.
Mom. Mom.
[lullaby creeps in]
Mom. Mom.
Mom.
Marla?
You don't belong here.
Come on.
[lullaby continues]
[distorted heartbeat pounding]
[Marla, echoing]
Can we go home now?
[melodious piano music]
When I was little
I used to hide
when I was scared.
I would close my eyes...
and I'd be safe.
I used to imagine...
going to watch
the moon tap dance.
I would sit there and be safe.
There is no wrong place to be.
I think I wanna choose living.
Is that me?
Facing it all. Trying.
It'll be worth it.
I'm sorry
I didn't know sooner.
In life,
there are so many memories
to choose from.
Bad and good.
[piano music continues]
I'll never forget this.
I promise you.
I will always take you with me.
[piano music ends]
["House of the Rising Sun"
playing]
There is a house
In New Orleans
They call
The Rising Sun
And it's been the ruin
Of many a poor girl
And me, O God, for one
If I had listened
To what my mother said
I'd be at home today
But I was young
And foolish, O God
Let a rambler
lead me astray
Go tell my baby sister
Never do
what I have done
But shun the house
In New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
I'm going back
To New Orleans
My race is almost run
Yeah, I'm going back
To spend my life
Beneath
The Rising Sun
[music fades]
["I Will Die Alone"
by Jessie Payo]
Little girl in saddle shoes
Dancing in my mama's room
I still hear her
singing to me
She sang of life,
she sang of love
And everything
I would become
And how I'd meet
the man of my dreams
But I was born
of desert fire
Driven by my one desire
Traded all I had
for the great unknown
A bleeding heart
I don't possess
And when I'm finally
laid to rest
I will die alone
Yes, I will die alone
I left the church,
I left the man
I left behind
the life we planned
I heard the devil
call out to me
No diamond ring,
no wedding band
The love I had
slipped through my hands
And I will never be free
'Cause I was born
of desert fire
Driven by my one desire
Traded all I had
for the great unknown
A bleeding heart
I don't possess
And when I'm finally
laid to rest
I will die alone
I will die alone
[music fades]
Fuzzy Head (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3