03x01 - Bestie

[bunniefuu]

♪

♪

- [BAND TUNING]

- [INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[ANXIOUS CHATTER]

[ACTORS CHANTING]

[CHANTING]

Round about the cauldron go,

in the poison'd entrails throw.

Toad, under cold stone

- [LAUGHS]

- [DRUMMING]

Days and nights hast 31.

- Swelter'd venom, sleeping got

- [CHANTING QUIETLY]

boil thou first in the charmed pot.

[CHANTING]

Fillet of fenny snake

[COUGHING]

In the cauldron

- boil and bake

- [STOMACH GROWLING]

I

- [RETCHES]

- [GASPING]

- [COUGHING]

- [RETCHING]

[ANNA REXHIA] What is fear?

Fear is like this person

who's always there

Hey. Hey.

Watching you,

telling you what to do.

[DIRECTOR] This is not part of the play!

And when fear commands,

most of us just blindly obey.

But what if we said no?

Said, "Not today, fear"?

"I'm just gonna do my thing anyway."

Just like with this winged eyeliner.

I know I suck at it.

I'm literally shaking with fear.

But you know what, girls?

I'm a-going anyway. [LAUGHS]

Life's a drag when you're a f*g ♪

So instead ♪

[GAGS]

Be dead. [CHUCKLES]

[GROWLING]

Hey, Shelby, do you still play

with Pink Bear?

Ew. God, Dad. No.

Well, I'm making a donation box.

Place ain't as big as it looked

in the pictures.

Which means it's greener

pastures for you, Pink Bear.

Dad!

Just 'cause I don't play with it

doesn't mean you can just throw it away.

No.

[DOOR CLOSES]

[GUY SIGHS]

What do you think?

Huh?

Home sweet home?

Is that Mom's?

"Teacher of the Year."

She was, uh [CHUCKLES]

She was really proud of that.

[GUY CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Hey.

I know you didn't want to leave home,

move out here, Shelby, but

I know, I know.

"Blank slate," blah blah blah.

Blah blah blah, just

You know, hear me out.

You remember what Dr. Bow

said about cancer.

How it doesn't just affect

one person, it

It affects the whole family.

The whole community.

[ECHOING] But here

what happened to Mom, her getting sick

[HIGH-PITCHED TONE]

Doesn't have to define you.

You get to be whoever you want to be.

[HIGH-PITCHED TONE FADES]

So, I saw two pizza joints

on that main drag.

What do you say we order from both

and see which one's best? Huh?

I don't want to hear any of that

"I'm not hungry" business.

[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[STUDENTS CHATTERING]

[GIRLS WHISPERING]

My swell suit might smell sweet ♪

My swell suit might smell sweet ♪

- Individually.

- River.

My swell suit might smell sweet ♪

Very good.

My swell suit might smell sweet ♪

[GIRL] She looks like a f*cking grandma.

- Those glasses.

- [SNICKERING]

My swell suit might smell sweet ♪

Take it, Shelby!

My swell swoot ♪

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

Might smell like mothballs. ♪

- [SNORTING]

- [CHUCKLING]

[PIANO PLAYING SCALES]

[SOUND DISTORTING]

- [YELPS]

- Uh-uh! No!

Come on. You're coming out

in the hallway right now.

Come into my office after class.

[GIRL] Psycho!

[STUDENTS WHISPERING]

[FAINT WHISPERING]

[OMINOUS WHISPERING]

[HIGH-PITCHED TONE]

[WHISPERING STOPS]

- [BELL RINGS]

- [STUDENTS CHATTERING]

[NEVINS] Ms. Brubaker?

My office.

So

I'm sorry I threw the

Oh, it's okay.

Sometimes I want to throw things, too.

[SOFT CHUCKLE]

I overreacted.

I just want to check in.

Did you know I knew your mom?

We used to go to

a music teachers' conference

in Omaha together.

Sharon Brubaker was one special lady.

And I know if you're her daughter,

you must be pretty special, too.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

I'm not.

You know, losing someone

you love, it's hard.

It can bring

adults to their knees.

- Some people never recover.

- [SHELBY SIGHS]

But you're here.

Just from that fact alone, I know

you are brave.

What kind was it?

Pancreatic.

Oh. Awful.

So sudden. Fast.

Not that it would be better if it

[SOFT EXHALE]

You know,

I lost someone very special to me, too.

We tried and tried, my wife and I,

for a long time,

but everyone said it was impossible.

She couldn't get pregnant.

And then

God gave us a miracle.

Little Madeline.

She was ours, for nine months.

But she was born deceased.

Do something! Don't let my baby die!

The cord had gotten wrapped around her neck

on the way out.

So

you and I are both brave.

[GIRL] Hey.

We weren't laughing at you,

just so you know, in class.

Oh, okay.

We were just wondering

do you have one of those diseases

that makes you go through menopause

super early or something?

- No.

- Why do you have gray hair, then?

It's not gray, it's dishwater blonde.

- [LAUGHS]

- "Dishwater." I cannot.

Well, you might just want to dye it.

Or something.

It's kind of giving

lesbian backpacker vibes.

No offense.

Love the granny glasses.

[LAUGHING]

[ANNA REXHIA] And you're

watching another episode

of The Beastly b*at.

The show where you watch me do my makeup

It's starting to look like a real home.

[VIDEO PLAYING QUIETLY]

[CLEARS THROAT]

So

I was thinking about, uh,

how good you were last year in that, uh

that Pirates of Penzance.

[VIDEO CONTINUES PLAYING]

Think you might want to try out

for a play again this year?

Hmm?

You know, I found a box

of your mom's office stuff.

There's a laptop, some pictures

You don't think

the Pirate King might

be able to convince you?

- Arr!

- God, Dad, stop!

Jesus. Shelby.

Sorry

What's going on?

- Huh?

- God, I didn't see.

Why aren't you wearing your glasses?

[SIGHS]

Is it

Is something going on at school?

Dad, just shut up!

You don't understand anything!

[DOOR SLAMS]

[ANNA REXHIA] Hello, ghouls.

C'est moi, Anna Rexhia.

[GIGGLES]

I want to tell you a story

about facing your fears.

You know, for the longest time,

"anorexia" was a word I wouldn't

even let myself think.

It was a label that I knew

deep down applied to me.

And that was terrifying.

But life is too short

to let a word have

that kind of power over you.

So I made it my f*cking name.

[LAUGHS]

Oh, and because of that, I have had

so much love and support

from other people who've gone

through the same sh*t.

It's the same reason

I like to dress up like this.

To laugh in the face of fear.

[CACKLES]

So

What do we think?

Dead baby got back.

Baby got backed over. [LAUGHS]

Okay, whatever.

Life's a drag when you're a f*g ♪

So instead ♪

[SNAPS]

Be dead. [CHUCKLES]

Ta-ta.

Like, subscribe, follow, all the things.

♪

♪

♪

[RINGING]

Um

Hi, new friend.

Hi.

What are you doing?

Nothing.

Nothing?

It's impossible to do nothing, silly.

Oh. [LAUGHS]

Um, I guess I'm sitting on my bed.

I was eating dinner with my dad,

but he was being

- so annoying.

- Oh, that sucks.

My dad is literally the most

annoying person in the world.

Uh, no, mine is.

[BOTH LAUGH]

They're like first and second place

Most Annoying Dad.

[LAUGHS] Like, they like,

go to competitions, probably.

[LAUGHS]

Like, they study each other's

moves on video in slow motion

analyzing how to be the most annoying.

[LAUGHS] You're really funny.

Oh, my God, no.

So random.

I like your, uh, screen name, "BFF4EVA."

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

What's your real name?

Uh, real names suck.

Hey, I-I have an idea.

You want to give each other nicknames?

Like what?

Like I'll call you Shellybelly.

And you can just call me Bestie.

It'll be like a secret just between us.

[SOFT CHUCKLE] Okay.

Bestie.

Shellybelly.

[SHELBY CHUCKLES]

Who's that little guy?

Oh, um

nothing, just this dumb thing

from when I was a kid.

I don't even know why it's here.

Well

he's so cute.

What's his name?

Um

Pink Bear. [CHUCKLES]

He used to be pink.

Now, he's more like a gray.

I think he might be a mouse, actually.

Well, uh, I love him.

Whatever he is.

Cool poster.

I love Pippin.

Wait, you know Pippin?

Of course.

Oh, my God, I'm literally

obsessed with that soundtrack.

- I know, me, too.

- Like, we did it last summer at camp.

Stop, I-I'm literally dying right now.

And I played Catherine.

But I can actually sing

the Leading Player better.

[MUFFLED CONVERSATION CONTINUES]

♪

[RINGING]

Show me, show me, show me.

Wait, no, not yet.

- I'm scared.

- Okay, one

- No, not yet. [LAUGHS]

- Two

Don't make me get to three.

[CHUCKLES]

[GASPS]

I look like a freak.

Shelby

you look amazing.

Why didn't you tell me

you were so good at makeup?

You have to wear that to school.

What? [CHUCKLES]

No. Oh, my God, no way.

Never. [CHUCKLES]

Why not?

Because everyone would say

I look crazy, I

I would be way too scared.

Come on, do something.

Even just the eye makeup.

It's like what Anna Rexhia says.

"When you feel scared of something,

that's the thing you should do."

If you face your fears,

awesome things will happen.

♪

There's a land beyond the river ♪

That we call the sweet forever ♪

And we only reach the shore

by faith's decree ♪

One by one we'll gain the portals ♪

There to dwell with the immortals ♪

When they ring the golden

bells for you and me ♪

- You and me. ♪

- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

Oh, auditions, auditions.

Don't forget. Our fall play,

we will be treading

the hallowed ground of Macbeth.

Or "The Scottish Play,"

for those of you who believe in curses.

Ms. Brubaker?

[SCOTTISH ACCENT] Aye,

you'd make a splendid Scot, m'lady.

Will we see thee upon the audition stage?

Um, I don't know. [CHUCKLES]

Maybe.

[CHUCKLES]

Hey, Shelby. What,

are you wearing makeup now

because I said you looked like a lesbian?

Are you, like, eating a fiber bar now

because you're constipated, sh*t Belly?

[SHELBY AND BESTIE LAUGHING]

Oh, my God, it was so epic.

I was like, "Are you eating a fiber bar

because you're constipated or something?"

[BOTH LAUGH]

Like, literally out of a movie.

And then I called her a sh*t belly.

[LAUGHS] Shel, I told you,

it's the makeup.

You did something that scared you,

and now you're like a full-on badass.

No, not even. [LAUGHS]

I did something kind of crazy today, too.

You know how my dad can be so annoying?

I just have to mess with him a little bit.

What did you do?

- I took his wallet.

- [SHELBY CHUCKLES]

Not, like, stole it, I just hid it

and then he was searching

around for it all morning.

It was really funny.

Oh, my God, you're hilarious.

You should do it, too.

Come on, our dads are so cringe.

We have to teach them a lesson.

I don't know

My dad's at work,

he probably has his wallet.

Well, something else then.

Wait

Shellbell, are you afraid?

You are. Oh, my God.

What's our rule?

Face your fears.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

[LAUGHS] Okay.

[GUY] Hey, Shel.

You haven't seen Mom's mug?

"Teacher of the Year"?

Did you leave it in the car?

Uh, I don't think so.

I got to run.

- You good here?

- Mm-hmm.

Enjoy your day off.

Happy, uh, Happy Columbus Day.

It's Indigenous Peoples' Day.

[GUY] Huh?

Oh, yeah, happy, uh

- happy that.

- Mm-hmm.

- Keep an eye out for that cup?

- Yeah.

[DOOR OPENS]

[DOOR CLOSES]

[BESTIE] Is your dad

a teacher or something?

No, he's a regional manager

at a post office.

He just likes it 'cause it's big.

Oh, my God, I totally have a dare for you.

Break it.

He'd k*ll me.

It's

special to him.

Geez. Your dad cares

more about a stupid cup

than he does about you.

That sucks, Shell, I'm sorry.

Do it.

It'll feel good.

Trust me.

Do it.

[GRUNTS]

[PANTING]

What did I tell you?

If you were my daughter,

I'd care more about you

than anything else in the world.

It means a lot to me

that you trust me, Shel.

I trust you, too.

How gross, I'm getting all mushy-gushy.

Can I ask you something?

Of course.

Why do you, um?

Why do I look funny?

No, no, that's not what I mean.

I I mean

It's okay.

I've actually never

told anyone this before.

But I'll tell you because

I trust you, Shellybelly.

I'm actually adopted.

I've never met my real mom, but

apparently she was, like,

addicted to dr*gs and stuff and

she was, like, doing them,

you know, like

while she was pregnant with me.

So, anyway, it just messed with

a lot of my physical development and stuff.

I have to do school at home and

I mostly just stay in bed.

I'm so sorry, Bestie.

- No, don't cry.

- [CHUCKLES]

[SNIFFLES]

Hey, it's okay.

- I get breakfast in bed every day.

- [LAUGHS]

- Not bad, huh?

- No.

I just sometimes wish I could

do normal things, like you.

Stop it.

Whatever you want to do,

just tell me and I'll do it.

I'll be like your avatar.

How did I get a friend as good as you?

No.

How did I get a friend as good as you?

Well

since I told you

my deepest, darkest secret

you have to do one little thing for me.

Something I've always wanted to try.

Anything.

[BESTIE LAUGHING]

["THEY DON'T KNOW"

BY TRACEY ULLMAN PLAYING]

Shelby! Shelby! [LAUGHING]

You've been around

for such a long time now ♪

Oh, maybe I could leave you

but I don't know how ♪

And why should I be lonely every night ♪

When I can be with you ♪

Oh yes, you make it right ♪

And I don't listen to the guys ♪

Who say that you're bad for me ♪

And I should turn you away ♪

'Cause they don't know about us ♪

And they've never ♪

- Heard of love ♪

- [LAUGHING]

That was crazy.

That was the craziest thing I've ever done.

- Yeah.

- [BOTH LAUGH]

[INDISTINCT ARGUING]

They say we're crazy

but I just don't care ♪

Leave me the f*ck alone!

And if they keep on talking,

still they get nowhere ♪

So I don't ♪

I don't know, should I audition?

[BESTIE] No way, no.

You're too good for that.

You're really an artist.

We have that in common.

They don't know about us ♪

And they never heard of love ♪

And why should it matter ♪

I really would've loved to have

had you in this one, Shelby.

Maybe next time.

[SCOFFS] Yeah, maybe

there'll be a grandmother part.

You won't even need a costume.

[RETCHING]

[NEVINS] Um

Uh, we need a doctor.

This is not part of the play.

[STUDENTS RETCHING]

There's no need

for living in the past ♪

[SIREN WHOOPS]

[BESTIE ON PHONE] Run, Shell, run!

[INDISTINCT SHOUTING, CRYING]

[LAUGHS]

[BESTIE] Oh, Shellbell, you're amazing.

I want to see what's happening.

I can't go back.

They'll know it was me.

[BESTIE] What's our rule?

Face your fear.

[BESTIE] Well

how do you feel?

Alive.

You literally are.

[CHUCKLES]

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[BESTIE] What a goober.

[SHELBY] He's such a weirdo.

Shelby, I'm so glad I met you.

You make me feel like a real girl.

You make me brave.

I never did anything scary

before I met you.

Best friends forever.

Forever.

I'd do anything for you.

I love you, Shelby.

I love you, too.

It's almost Halloween.

I've always wanted to dress up,

but I've never been able to.

Bestie, I'll dress up for you.

Oh, my God, really?

Oh, my God, okay.

I have the best idea.

♪

[LAUGHING] Oh-oh, wow!

Mrs. Grim Reaper. I love it, Shelby.

Not the grim reaper, silly.

[COUGHING]

Hey, everybody, take a

take a personal day today. Just work on

whatever you need to work on, okay?

I will forgive you for this, Shelby.

One-one day, I will.

[GUY] What the hell were you thinking?

Where does this even come from?

- It was a joke.

- A joke? A joke?!

I don't understand

how this is a funny joke!

- f*cking let go of me!

- I mean, come on!

I don't know who you are anymore!

- Let go!

- All right, no more.

No more going out, no more sneaking out.

- Stop! What are you doing?

- Nothing!

I don't know.

- But until I do, you can stay down there.

- [YELLING]

[POUNDING ON DOOR]

[SHELBY] I hate you!

- I hate you.

- [HEAVY POUNDING ON DOOR]

f*ck you! f*ck you! f*ck you!

[BOTH CRYING]

- I wish you were f*cking dead!

- [GUY CRYING]

I hate you!

Give me my phone!

[EXHALES]

[BREATHING SHAKILY]

♪

[BESTIE] Shelby,

you have to get out of there.

Yeah, but how?

Well, I mean

he'd have to let you out

if something happened.

Like what?

Like, I don't know, if you broke

a bone or something.

He'd have to take you to hospital.

What?

You just want me to

That's crazy.

[LAUGHS] No.

Are you afraid?

Um, of breaking a bone? Yes.

Shell, what's our rule?

But you promised

you would do anything for me.

That was a lie?

No, of course I would

I would break every bone in my body

if it meant I could be free.

But I can't.

My only freedom is you.

And if you're just gonna give up

and stay trapped there

well, then you're a coward

and you're a bad friend.

No.

Bestie, don't say that.

I

I'm sorry, I'll

I'll do anything.

I thought you were brave, Shell.

I thought you were my friend.

I guess I was wrong.

- Goodbye.

- No, wait!

Wait! I'm sorry, uh

I'll do it. I can do it.

[BESTIE] You're just scared.

But I could help you.

I can make you brave.

You just have to do

exactly what I tell you.

Like all the other times.

Listen to me.

Grab the hammer.

I have it.

It's okay to be scared.

It's good that you're scared,

because when you face your fears,

doors open up for you.

The whole world literally opens up for you.

I want to, I want to face my fears, okay?

I can, I can do it.

[GUY] Shelby!

Who are you talking to?

[BESTIE] Your dad is coming.

Do it now.

Okay.

♪

[BESTIE] Put your arm in the vice.

What's going on, Shelby? Are you okay?

- [BESTIE] That's it, keep turning.

- [GUY] Shelby?

[BESTIE] Turn it tighter.

Shelby!

[BESTIE] Pick up the hammer.

- Don't be scared.

- [POUNDING ON DOOR]

Be brave for me!

I don't want to,

I don't want to, I'm scared!

[BESTIE] Do it now!

Do it, Shelby, be brave.

Be brave for me! I've seen it before.

Do it! Do it now!

[SHELBY SCREAMS]

[SHELBY SCREAMING, CRYING]

[SOBBING]

[WHIMPERING]

[WHIMPERING]

[SOBBING]

[COUNSELOR] You've experienced a trauma.

But coming here, dealing with it?

That's very brave.

♪

I'll give you a ride in a sec.

Um, Dad?

- Hmm?

- I just

wanted to give you this.

And, um

I'm really, really sorry.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

This is a good start.

Thanks.

♪

You need something, sweetheart?

Um, is Mr. Nevins here?

No, he's out for the semester.

[SHELBY] Oh.

Oh.

Okay, thank you.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[PHONE CHIMES]

[BELL RINGS]

[CACKLING]

[PHONE CHIMING]

[BESTIE] Shellybelly.

- [PHONE CHIMING]

- [OVERLAPPING WHISPERS]

Best friend.

[RIVER] Can I sign it?

Your cast, can I, can I sign it?

Oh. [CHUCKLES]

Um, sure.

Cool.

Wait.

First I think we actually have

to be friends.

It's, like, the law of signing casts.

I'm-I'm Riv from choir.

River, professionally, and to my mom.

I'm Shelby.

Just Shelby.

Cool.

Uh

swear I have, like, a Sharpie or something.

Oh, cool, you know Anna Rexhia?

Oh, yeah, the freaky drag queen?

- Dude, she's awesome.

- I know!

- She's so weird, but also cool.

- Right?

I'm obsessed with anything,

like, drag or horror, you know?

So together it's, like, kaboom!

You know? Like, mind-blowing.

[LAUGHS] Cool, yeah.

Oh, there you are.

Cool.

Cool.

There we are.

Thanks.

Cool, yeah.

- Okay.

- Yeah.

Bye.

Bye-bye, friend.

[PHONE CHIMES]

[PHONE CHIMES]

[DOOR CLOSES LOUDLY]

- [LOUD WHISTLE]

- [SHELBY GASPS]

Wait.

- You saw?

- What you did?

Opening night of Macbeth?

Pod-gate?

I did, I did. I-I saw it all.

Please don't tell anyone.

- They'll expel me.

- Lady, chill out.

Okay?

Thought it was badass.

I mean, Chaz and those guys

have been making my life hell

since elementary school.

I mean, making fun of the disabled kid

it's, like, almost too cliché, right?

Right?

But, alas, you know, the popular D-bag

is a simple and highly

predictable organism, so

I didn't know you had a disability.

Look, it's called ectopia cord is.

Sounds like a f*cking Harry Potter spell.

But, basically, I was born with my heart

on the outside of my body.

Had, like, four open-heart

surgeries before I was six.

But then they shoved

my heart back inside of my body

and, for some reason, put my assh*le

on the outside.

Woo-hoo, right?

TMI?

How did you know it was me?

I don't know. I've been

watching you this year.

I'm not, like, stalking you

or anything, Shelby.

You know, just looking out.

You know, in case things went too far.

So you're not blackmailing me?

You're not gonna make me

[INHALES SHARPLY]

[SHUDDERS] do anything?

Why would I make you do

something you don't want to do?

That's not how friendship works.

The text you called me "best friend."

Yeah, 'cause I signed your cast and all?

I mean, it was a joke, and I'm

sorry if it freaked you out.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY] It's

- it's okay.

- 'Kay.

Um, what are you doing right now?

Um

the lady at the gas station

she's for sure a tweaker but

she gives me free cigarettes

if I play the-the cr*pple card.

[CHUCKLES, SNIFFLES]

How 'bout fruit snacks?

Oh, yeah.

She'll for sure hook it up.

Okay.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

Come on.

[PHONE CHIMES]

[RIVER] All good?

- Yeah.

- All right.

- Sorry.

- Nah, it's cool.

[ANNA REXHIA] I've talked a lot about fear.

How, in order to be brave,

we have to do what scares us.

Now, I'm not talking

about driving 100 miles an hour

with a blindfold on.

- No, no, no.

- [LAUGHS]

I'm talking about the scary things

that, deep down, we know are right.

[STUDENTS] Show you a rhyme ♪

Cats fit on the windowsill ♪

- Like standing up for yourself.

- Children fit in the snow ♪

Being vulnerable.

Why do I feel I don't fit in ♪

- Anywhere I go? ♪

- Saying you're sorry.

Rivers belong where they can ramble ♪

They can ramble ♪

Eagles belong where they can fly ♪

They can fly ♪

I've got to be

where my spirit can run free ♪

Got to find my corner ♪

Of the sky ♪

- Of the sky ♪

- Of the sky ♪

Of the sky! ♪

Because, you see,

when you face those kinds of fears,

good things

and good people

come into your life.

Life's a drag ♪

When you're a f*g ♪

- So, instead ♪

- [COMPUTER CHIMES]

[GAGS] Be dead. ♪

[NEVINS] I like to have these

end-of-year check-ins just to

see where we are, where

we've been, where we're going.

Shelby

she's one of my good eggs.

- I'm gonna miss her a lot.

- [CHUCKLING SOFTLY]

She's smart,

she's talented, she's kind,

she's got A's across the board

- Uh, one "B."

- Oh.

- In P.E.

- [SHELBY GIGGLES]

Oh, I count that as a badge of honor.

[CHUCKLING]

And it did not stop you

from getting into Oberlin.

Well, uh, I-I think we're

still considering, you know, uh,

maybe getting some generals

out of the way somewhere

closer to Dad?

Your freshman year

classes are gonna be the same

- pretty much wherever you go.

- Dad.

I want to go to Oberlin.

And it's not just about the classes.

It's where River's going.

And he's just

my favorite person in the world.

I don't want to lose that.

You are all heart.

Just like your mom.

[SCOFFS SOFTLY]

Come here.

[GRUNTING]

[INHALES DEEPLY]

- It's the best way to be.

- [SIGHS]

- Mmm.

- [SCHOOL BELL RINGS]

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

- Guess what.

- What?

I told him.

- No frickin' way.

- Yeah.

Dude, Shelby, that's awesome.

Are you serious?

He said it's all okay.

We can live together at Oberlin

as long as I get good financial aid.

Which you will.

- 'Cause you're amazing.

- [CHUCKLES]

[COMPUTER CHIMES]

Who's this? Like, your

secret boyfriend or something?

- What is this?

- No. Just this

loser girl I used to be friends with.

She's a freak. [CHUCKLES]

She's, like, confined to her bed

or something.

Spends all day online.

Feel kind of bad for her.

But she's toxic.

Honestly.

She's probably, like,

some fat incel dude in a mask.

- [CHUCKLES]

- Jerking his micro penis

or something.

She's, like, a legit psychopath.

What the hell?

[SHELBY] I know.

I blocked her on my phone, but, somehow,

her messages keep coming through

to my computer.

Oh, no.

She's got to go.

What are you doing?

One moment, please.

Boop. Beep.

Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas.

Wait. Are you serious?

She's actually gone from my life forever?

I mean, she can still stare

at you through your window

and watch you sleep at night.

But, yeah, she can no longer

contact you via airwaves.

I didn't know it was possible

to be more in love with you

than I already am, but

guess I was wrong.

[CHUCKLES SOFTLY]

- Yeah? Come here.

- [CHUCKLES]

What are you doing tonight?

I have a crazy, amazing,

awesome, incredible idea.

Where are we?

We're almost there.

Don't want to ruin the surprise.

- All right?

- Okay.

[CHUCKLES] All right.

Sorry. [GIGGLING]

- What is this place?

- [SHUSHING]

Come on. Get out.

[DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE]

Whoa

Riv, I-I don't like this.

- I have a weird feeling.

- Oh, come on.

It's okay. It's okay.

I really want to show you this, okay?

Okay, but hold me. I'm a scaredy-cat.

- Aw, I'm right here, okay?

- Hmm?

I'm right here.

♪

[CREAKING]

[DOOR CLOSES]

What is this place?

Does someone live here?

I don't know.

- [THUMP]

- What was that?

What?

[WEAK CHUCKLE]

♪

♪

River?

What are we doing here?

- What did you do? Why are we here?

- Calm down. Calm down.

Calm down. Calm down. Shelby, calm down.

- [PROTESTING]

- It's okay, it's okay. Hey.

It's not. There's things

I haven't told you.

Shelby, calm down.

Be brave, all right? Hey! Shelby!

[CREAKING]

Hello, friend.

[SCREAMS]

- [BLADE SQUISHES]

- [GRUNTS]

[SHUDDERING]

[GASPING]

- [HIGH-PITCHED RINGING]

- [HEART b*ating STEADILY]

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

[WHISPERS] Why?

[RINGING AND HEARTBEAT STOP]

[THUDS]

[CLATTERING]

I did it.

I did everything you ever asked me to do.

I brought her to you.

It's-it's over.

You're the only friend I'll ever need.

And now we can be together forever.

Friend.

Best friend.

[WAVES CRASHING]

♪

♪