01x06 - Space Conflict from Beyond Pluto

[bunniefuu]

Gentlemen. Look, and behold!

Yes. Contact.

Computer. Triangulate the coordinates of the signal.

Hey, neighbor, what is up?

Hey. Ha ha.

How's earth going, and stuff?

Aliens. I can't believe it.

Are you a peaceful race?

Hell, yes.

We are barbecuing, aren't we not?

How do you want your melon?

Emily, the melons are on fire.

Well, of course they're on fire.

They're not made to be cooked.

What you know fire?

You prance around

like you have laser eyes.

So you don't have laser eyes?

Because it was my--

hey, hey, we're barbecuing here.

Why don't you come on up?

Yeah, and bring a cold .

Ok. How do I do that?

I mean, do you have

some sort of particle transmitter or--

particle tran--

what do we look like, a couple of nerds?

...totally a particle transmitter.

Oh, yes. One of those.

We have that.

...get these broad shanks of flesh

out of my dominion.

Oh, that is great.

Why don't you burn the ship down

while you're at it?

Shut up! I have an amazing plan

to betray our new friend.

I thought the plan was to barbecue with him.

Plans are for fools.

When he gets here, we melt him

and laugh on into the night.

Why don't we, just, like, talk to him and stuff?

Why don't you just shut up

and let me do what I want for a change?

What about this fire?

Put it out!

Hey, guys, I'm here.

Who are you?

I'm Frylock.

You know, we spoke earlier?

No.

Welcome to, uh, space.

Oh, look. The room where we melt people.

You melt away, ja?

No, I'd rather not.

Say--say, what is this thing around your neck?

Some sort of galactic space collar or--

this? Oh, this is a sweatband.

Yeah, it keeps the sweat

out of our eyes.

That's what yours does?

Mine doesn't work, then. It's broken.

'Cause yours is a drool band, man.

I mean--

oh, thank you very good, Emily.

Oh, look what's over there.

Oh, it's melt Disney world.

Yeah, I've seen it, ok?

What are these spikes,

these spikes all over your body?

I mean, surely they have a purpose.

What spikes?

Oh, these.

No, no, no. These are not spikes.

They are pointy arms.

We squirt soap out of them,

and that's how

we keep the ship so clean.

See?

That's soap?

Really? Well, it kinda smells like waste.

Well, one man's waste

is another man's soap,

you know what I mean, guys?

Hey, hey, what is all this interrogation?

Let's toss the frisbee...

Over there,

where we will melt you into fluid.

Is there maybe a higher brain form

that I could speak with or--

nein! we are on top-secret mission

of world domination.

World domination?

You guys couldn't take over a damn bowl of jell-o.

Hey, is that, like,

an important place or something?

Where is it?

Ok, ok, look.

Which one of these buttons beams me out of here?

Those buttons are red. You'll destroy us all!

All right. Party time.

Whose birthday is it?

Someone gets a spanking.

Hey, happy birthday!

Hey, who's the lucky boy?

Shake, how did you get in this beam?

Look, the beam came from space.

You don't own space, so stop acting like you do.

I'm outta here.

Hey, how you doing?

Oh, fine, fine.

I tell you what, I wish I was. Oh, my g--

that beam coming up like that, the speed.

Might want to adjust that.

It really did a number on my back, there.

I mean, and I don't want to say "whiplash" just yet,

'cause that's a little too far,

but you're insured, right?

Oh, look, what is that over there?

No--you know what,

if I could just maybe lay down,

my back might straighten out a little bit.

That'd be good for now.

Well, you might be interested to know

that we are just about

to destroy your planet.

Oh, go ahead.

I'm not there. Ah, that's fine.

You really think we need to blow up their planet?

Is that what we said, blow it up?

Let's blow it up.

Ok, fine.

Did it blow up, man?

You are toying with me.

Drag the sl*ve into the melterium.

Hey, Frylock. Look at your carpet.

It's burning.

Fire is bad, Meatwad.

You shouldn't play with it.

Oh, I know, I know.

I use it in my work.

What is this? Who did this?

You cannot cut someone's lawn

with matches, Meatwad.

Look, I know that.

You gotta have gasoline,

otherwise how's it going to spread to the street?

Open this damn door now.

Oh, is he mad? Don't open it.

I heard that. Open this door.

Hey, Carl, how's that yard looking?

Pretty good, I bet, huh?

Oh, it's done.

So is the vinyl siding on my house.

Where's Shake?

He's in space, with aliens.

Oh, yeah, yeah, of course.

Why did I ever question that, huh?

You know, I gave Shake $ to cut my lawn.

Yeah, he subbed it out.

And, look, he gave me this chrome sled.

Boy, I hope it snows soon, don't you, Carl?

Oh, yeah, I can't wait. A winter wonderland.

Now let me see that sled.

It's my frickin' hubcap.

Well, hell, I don't know.

I ain't never cut a yard before.

So where exactly in space is he?

Why isn't he, like, melting?

I mean, the beam's supposed to be on.

Well, it's not.

I'm looking right at it and it's not on.

Maybe we need the remote control.

Well, maybe you shouldn't have run the melter

through the VCR, scheisskopf.

Well, maybe it's 'cause you said,

"I want all meltings to be taped,"

even though you never watch 'em.

Hey, can you guys let me out?

No, don't come out yet. It's too dangerous.

Look, "make your man happy." " days to healthy buns."

Now where's that damn remote?

Well, if I'd had it,

he'd already be a puddle now, wouldn't he?

Just find the VCR, and i--

it's in the escape pod, man.

What in the hell was that?

Uh, that was the escape pod.

Dammit!

Hey, you wanna let me out?

I need to eat.

Quit pushing the buttons in there.

This whole ship's a bunch of buttons.

And I'm done with this redbook.

I was done with it the minute I saw it.

And I'm hungry!

You will eat when we say!

You will eat when we say. That's right.

I am a guest, and you're not

treating me like one.

Fine. You want to eat?

Let's see if you can eat pizza!

Pizza? Really?

Bring it on. I'm ready.

Woman, voice-over: Prepare your stomach to set sail

on a virtual sea of pizza.

You gotta be kidding me.

This is it?

Smell the cool sauce air...

I can't eat this.

We can still melt him.

Like, I have this really bitchin' hair dryer.

Yeah, you think that would work,

break it out, then.

That will only take , moltons!

Well, I'm just trying to help.

Well, I think screwing everything up

is a funny way of hel--

The space phone is ringing. Where is it?

You had it last.

No, if I had it,

it would be put back in the charger

because I know how to put things back.

Hello?

You give that phone directly to me!

I found the phone!

Hey, can I speak with Shake?

The phone is for you.

Uh, Shake...

What do you want?

Carl is here.

How did you get this number?

I'm not here.

Oh, you're not there?

Hello, Carl.

Hey, buddy, how you doin' there?

Pizza land, huh? That's lots of fun.

Hey, uh, I wanted to let you know

that, uh, you b*rned my friggin' house down!

But the grass is gone, correct?

Look, that is the cost

of doing business.

I told you there would be risks.

Yeah, no, the grass is gone,

just like your face is gonna be gone

when I shove it in a pastrami slicer.

Heh heh, slice my face off.

You are clever. You're a quick wit.

Oh, well, look, relax.

And I'll be down there

in, like, minutes,

and we'll iron all this out, ok?

Oh, yeah, that sounds great.

That sounds great, yeah. We'll iron it out.

I'll go get my iron. My tire iron.

Well, looks like

I'm not going back there.

This, uh, pizza sea.

Does it do anything better than this?

You want me to speed it up?

I mean, do you have anything like a--

like a mountain adventure or--

We do have another one.

Ja.

Some people like it.

Ok, load it up.

Woman, voice-over: Welcome to this horse's anus.

Hey, Carl, you want me to shampoo the rug?

What's the freakin' point, meat man?

So you can give me some money.

Man, he's been in that horse anus room

for a long time.

Ja, he has been in there.

I did it once. That was enough.

Whoo, man, that was amazing.

You start off at this blade of grass,

and then you go inside

and it's like a luge.

You go down the esophagus,

you're in the stomach,

large intestine, small intestine,

small intestine favorite part,

by the way.

You know, I like hanging out

with you guys.

Well, not you guys,

but the stuff you guys have is great.

Oh, look out there.

$ on the wing of the ship.

Oh, that's mine.

I dropped it. Now where is it again?

Out there. You see it?

It's there.

Look, this could be very dangerous.

I'll handle it, ok?

Oh, would you?

Please save us from all the money.

Shake to ship. I'm still not seeing it.

Oh, you can't see it?

Well, let me turn on the light for you.

Wait, jackass. Aaah! Aaah!

Ah, earth. I name thee earth.

Hey, hey, hey, hey, buddy!

Oh, hey, Carl!

Hey, lawn looks great!

Likin' it?

Why's your house all curled up?

I don't know.

I was hoping maybe we could

have a little dialogue about that.

Hey, that's a nice tire iron, Carl.

Is that yours?

Yeah, let me get in there

and show you the finish on it, up close.

Hey-