05x02 - The Tale of Station 109.1

[bunniefuu]

[Child's laughter]

This blindfold thing
is getting old.

Yeah, well,
it's do or die time.

You get another cr*ck

at joining
the Midnight Society.

And one way
or the other,

after tonight, you'll never
have to wear this again.

No way! Burn it.

No, bury it.

We don't want
any toxic fumes.

Hey, if I don't
get a fair sh*t,

I'm out of here.

No, wait.

You've got a chance.
Right?

Don't worry.
We'll be fair.

Come on, Stig,
tell your story.

So, what do we need
these things for anyway?

For a demo.

Everyone tune
to your favorite station.

When I say "go,"
turn them on.

[Stig] OK?

...

...

...

Go.

[Music and talking
from radios]

OK! Turn them off!

Off!

So what did
that prove?

Every second
of every day,

there are tons
of invisible radio signals

flying all around us.

Yeah, so?

So, with all those
invisible signals,

there's no way to tell

if maybe hidden
somewhere in the static,

there might be a signal

coming from someplace
we never thought of.

Like where?

Maybe from
beyond the grave.

Submitted for the approval

of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

[Organ music]

Dinner's ready, Chris.

And how many times
do I have to tell you,

pick up your clothes.

I wonder if anyone
was ever buried alive.

Imagine being in the coffin

having dirt dumped on top.

Pass the grave...

Uh-- I mean, the gravy.

I wonder how long
he can survive in there.

What a cheese head.

I thought
my brother was strange.

What's his problem?

Eh, I guess he was playing
in this big old graveyard

with some of
his dork friends.

It must have
been real creepy

because now
all he talks about

is graves and
funerals and stuff.

That's weird.

Poor kid.

Poor nothing, man.

He's deranged.

Why don't
you do something

to make him
snap out of it?

Hey,
what you playing?

Hang man.

It figures.

You didn't see what came
on the lot this afternoon?

No.

A hearse.

No!

Yeah, and it just came
back from a funeral.

No way!

Way.

Cool.

I wonder how many
bodies have been in here.

Come here,
check this out.

Try it out for size, man.

There was a dead guy
in here this afternoon.

How cool is this?

Lie down,
make yourself at home.

Here lies Chris Leary,

dearly departed.

May he rest in peace.

[Engine starts]

[Radio on]

Jamie, let me
out of here!

Would you quiet down.
You'll wake the dead.

This is . ,

radio for
the dimensionally challenged.

Sometimes you miss the chance
to step over

and need guidance.

That's where
we come in, friends.

All you need to do
is follow my voice

and I'll help you
find the home.

Can you help me?

Huh?

Can you help me
find the way home?

Sorry. No.

Now back to our program.

The topic is
death and dying.

What's the next step?

As I was saying,

I'd like to invite
anyone listening...

How's it going,
hearse boy?

Hey, I'm
listening to that.

It's : , chumpie.

You know I never
miss Clark and Ryan.

Fine.
Do what you want.

Don't be mad.

I was just trying to
get you to lighten up.

So lighten up.

No station currently assigned,
. ?

Weird.

Bingo.

Excuse me.

Do you know
the way home?

Uh, sorry, no.

[Organ music]

.

.

.

Uh--excuse me, is
this the radio station?

I'm not cutting. I just
want to ask a question.

Don't knock,
knock on the window!

What's the matter with
you, you can't read?

Here.
Knock window...

Do not on the.

Let's try it
together,

shall we?

Do not knock
on the window!

But...

This is an interesting

phenomenon
that's taking place.

It's like one person,

then there's
another one behind them,

all standing quietly,
one after the other.

What do you
suppose that is?

Um...

It's a line!

That's what it is!
It's a line!

Why don't you try
waiting in the line!

Next.

Is--is this
the radio station?

Eh, never mind.
Come on.

Look, maybe you've
got an eternity,

but I'm on schedule!

What's this?

The candidate
shall be relieved

of all that binds him or her
to the physical world.

That's what
that bracelet does.

Now, why don't
you wait outside

and step through when
your number's called?

Step through what?

Look,
I'd better go home.

You are going home.

You're going home
to the next life.

Next life?

But I'm not done
with this life yet.

Oh, really?

Now where did
you hear about us?

From the radio
in the hearse.

Oh, boy,
a pain in my...

Uh--hearse, hearse,
hearse, hearse.

Here, here.

Carpenter,
Daniel James.

Buried
this afternoon.

Uh...

Whooo!

Missed that crossover
point by a long sh*t.

What's the matter,

you stayed with
the hearse too long?

Is that it?
Yeah? That happens.

But I'm not dead.

And I'm not
that carpenter guy.

There's been a mistake.

You know something?

You're
absolutely right.

There's been
a terrible mistake.

Now I'm gonna work
out this mistake,

but in the meantime,

why don't
you wait outside

and when your turn
comes up,

step through
death's door.

.

Hey, uh, pick up
the pace, pal.

We don't have
all century.

No! No, you're mistaken!

I'm not supposed to go!

I think you made a mistake!

You've got the wrong man!

He led a nasty life.

And he's gonna lead a
much nastier afterlife.

Step outside.
Your turn is coming.

Ha ha ha ha!

Anybody home?

Jamie, you here?

Hey, Jamie.

Look, I'm still
ticked off at you,

but I gotta tell you
something really weird.

Aw, come on.
This is serious!

That radio station
I heard in the hearse?

I went there.

There are all these
strange people hanging around.

I think they were all dead.

Don't ignore me!
I'm not making this up.

Hey, Ron,
what's up, man?

It wasn't a normal
radio station.

These dead guys
were gonna cross over

to the next life
or something.

No, I think I'm just gonna work
on the hearse for a little while.

Did you hear
what I said?

These things
drag you to the door.

And there's all this
screaming

coming from the other side.

Are you gonna listen
to Clark and Ryan?

Cool.

They stick
this bracelet on you.

And you kinda feel
a little lighter.

He said
it's the first step.

You're crazy. I never
miss Clark and Ryan.

I'm probably going
to listen to it

on the radio
in the hearse.

Forget
Clark and Ryan.

Listen to me.

Oh, man.

You can't see me.

It's this thing.

I'm not moving.

I'm not
gonna go.

I'm staying
right here.

Mom!



.

Lose this.

[Organ music]

Out of my way!

I'm on the air.

You can't come in here
unless you're in the union!

Oh, boy.

We're on the air live,
so to speak.

This is station .

at the end of
your radio dial,

for spirits at the end
of their ropes.

I made that up.

Ha ha ha ha!

We're here to help

all of those lost souls
who missed the boat.

If you didn't cross over
at the time of your death,

then we're here to help.

Don't roam
the earth forever.

It's time to move on

to the next life.



.

This is . .

Radio for
the dimensionally challenged.

Mister, you gotta
listen to me.

Roy.
The name is Roy.

Roy, you got
the wrong guy!

Boy, if I had a dime

for every time
somebody tried

to weasel out
of death,

it would actually
do me no good at all,

because I'm dead.

What do I need
money for?

What am I gonna do?
I'm dead.

What am I gonna do,
buy gum?

But you're making
a mistake.

I don't make mistakes,

buddy, boy!

When I was alive,
I worked for

the department
of motor vehicles!



.

Ever wonder where the term
"your number's up" came from?

Well, now you know.

There's been a mistake!

You've got the wrong guy!

Everybody's got a story.

: .

Clark and Ryan.

What frequency
are they on?

Come on, Jamie,
be there.

[Watch alarm goes off]

It's the Clark and Ryan show!

Hey, Clark.
Hey, Ryan.

[Static]

Jamie, Jamie!
This is Chris.

Man, I hope
you're listening to this.

I'm trapped at
the radio station.

They think I'm dead,

and they're gonna make me
go to the afterlife.

Say what?

This isn't a joke.

They think I'm some guy
named Carpenter,

Daniel Carpenter.

You gotta help me,
Jamie.

I've already been home once,
but you couldn't see me.

OK, nice try.

I'm not falling for it.

Can you
take me there?

Can you help me
find the way home?

I'm
Daniel Carpenter.

Sure you are, bud.

Oh, yeah. How much is
my brother paying you?

Please help me!

Ah!

You have to help me.

Please don't
run away.

I need help.

And so does
your brother.

Jamie, this is real.
You've got to come get me!

What are you, crazy?!
I can lose my job!

You miserable...

don't bother
running, kid,

there's
nowhere to hid.

... .

...

.

.

...

Let's cut the numbers!

You're getting on my nerves.
You're going now!

You've got the wrong guy!

I'm not dead.

Let go.

Hey, leave him alone!

Jamie!

Oh, I'm gonna
enjoy this.

You gotta believe me!

You made a mistake!

Stop!

Uh, excuse me,
no cutting in line.

That's my brother!
He's not dead.

Really?

Yes, finally.

Nah, I don't think so.

Noooo!

Geez, it's never
done that before.

I'm Daniel Carpenter,
you fool!

No, you're not.

I would've had you
processed already.

That's him!

It's not!
That's my brother!

Oh, yeah?
Prove it.

Whoa.

Chris!
Are you OK?

Yeah.

They rejected me.

They, they said
I wasn't dead.

Uh-oh.

They also said they wanted
to have a word with you.

Oh, great!
There goes my pension.

Did you really go
to the other side?

I guess.

It all kinda
happened fast.

All right,
let's not make

a federal case
out of this!

So I made a teensy
weensy little mistake

and I was about to send
an innocent young boy

to his death.

What? None of you
ever did that before?

Look, you take the
bracelet off your wrist

and put it
on his wrist,

we'll forget this whole
thing ever happened.

Ha ha!

Aren't you afraid
it'll be horrible?

It's only horrible if
you've led a bad life.

If you led
a good life,

it's the best
thing going.

Come on,
we're gonna be late.

Welcome back to
the real world, bro.

The next time
you play a radio,

listen close.

Because you might just
pick up a signal just for you.

And if you don't
let me in after that story,

you haven't been
listening to me.

[Radio plays rock music]

Well,
like we said,

it has to be
unanimous.

And--you're in!

Cool.

I'll never forget
you for this.

Eeuw!

Come on,
give us a hug.

No way!

Control him or I'll
throw you both out.

You love me!