02x32 - Awake the Wyatt Within

[bunniefuu]

Caitlin!

Big Steve! I was just

thinking...

of more efficient ways to...

um, squeeze lemons?

Yeah, I'm on my way

to the Calgary Stampede.

Wow.

Now, you take real good care of

the Lemon and bring sales up,

and I'll have a bonus

with your name on it, yeah!

Really?

Yup. That's if I don't lose all

my money on the cow lottery.

The cow lottery?

Yeah. They let

a great big bull loose,

and folks bet on where

he's gonna drop his load.

I'm real good at it,

got a real good sense for poop.

I likes me the poop.

Ew. Okay then. Have fun!

Yee-haw!

(All giggling)

Nikki, here's that

info about how bacteria

breeds in hot tubs--



(Gasping)

--and all the ways

it can get into your body.

Yes!

Why do you want that anyway?

It's disgusting.

That is exactly why I want it.

Thanks.

Guess what? My parents

said we could use the hot tub

for our sleep-over party!

We are so hooked up!

(All squealing)

Sorry, Nikki,

but you're not invited.

What's this?

ALL:

Ew!

(All grunting)

Nicely done!

Sometimes, they just

make it too easy.

♪

♪ Life begins after school ♪

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together ♪

♪ In a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm ♪

♪ Starting to find my way ♪

♪ Got a new job ♪

♪ Going to start at the mall

today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm , life is sweet ♪

♪ When you're

growing up so fast ♪

♪ You got to make

the good times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm , I'm ♪

♪ Got to make

the good times last ♪

There you go.

Now, watch this a couple times,

and see if you

don't feel better.

You can rise above this.

See you tomorrow.

What's wrong with her?

She just got canned

from her job as an ad exec.

So, I sent her home

with Working Woman.

The one where the chick

steals her boss's job

and her boyfriend and then

gets her thrown in jail?

Yup. She's going to be alright.

Want to rent How To Fix

My Boyfriend In Days?

Sucks.

Well, how about

South American Pie?

Sucks.

Hm.

Sucks.

(Gasping)

Oh, so I guess you know exactly

what movie we

should watch tonight?

As a matter of fact, I do.

I'd say you've been

dating for, what, two weeks?

Three. How'd you know?

Irrelevant.

I've got just the movie for you.

Legally Bland?

The perfect film for

this particular stage

in your relationship.

Light fare that navigates

the waters of love

while subtly introducing

an undercurrent of commitment.

Not bad! We'll take it!

MAN:

He recommended a film for us

and it totally

saved our relationship!

Yeah, I was going to dump him!

Wow. How do you do that?

What can I say, man?

It's a talent.

Hey! Can you help Serena

and I get back together?

I need a movie

that will make her see

that I'm the guy for her.

Let it go, dude.

I don't do staff.

Plus, she broke up with you,

and fired you.

Come on, man, you're the only

one who can help me.

That's probably true,

but I don't do staff.

(Sighing)

Huh?

(Sighing)

(Grunting)

What are you doing?

My blender just died.

Or was m*rder*d.

What's with the effort?

That's not like you.

Because if I'm blender-less,

I won't get my bonus

and I'll never get that

cute camisole I picked out!

Ah, that's more like it.

If I come up with

anything I'll let you know.

Thanks.

(Gasping)

(Sighing)

You're good at taping sticks.

Masterson! I know that look.

That's love on the job.

Drop and give me !

(Sighing)

Yes, Coach.

I hope for your

sake you can do .

Love will make

me strong.

Another for

saying the word love.

You just said it.

Darn it, you're right!

for me too.

Hup, hup, hup,

hup, hup, feels good!

Hup, hup, hup.

Let me guess. Wayne here

recommended a life-changing

movie to you two?

BOTH:

Mm-hm.

(Sighing)

Don't choke on

each other's tongues.

What flew up your butt?

Nothing, except that you

could save me from a lifetime

of loneliness by telling

me what movie to watch.

Tell you what. I'll give you

free air guitar lessons.

Come on man! You have some

freaky video superpower.

True.

And you could use it to

help me get my girl back.

Unless you think you couldn't

come up with anything.

Heh. A weak attempt at

challenging my movie manhood.

Alright, fine. I'll bite.

Really? Alright!

Whatever. Jude! Jude!

I'm coming! I'm coming!

Don't leave me in

here overnight again!

We're not closing.

I want you to grab a video

for Pathetica over here.

Video number .

Oh, yeah!

I'm feeling better already.

(Grunting)

This'll help you.

Now, leave me alone.

So, what's it like being

a waiter at El Sporto?

Uh, okay, nothing special.

Maybe I'll come by for lunch.

No! I mean, you're better

off in the food court.

Well, what sports uniform

do they make you wear?

Not important.

(Slurping)

(Groaning)

This is one bad lemonade.

My blender died,

so I had to get creative.

(Wyatt clearing throat)

This movie, my friends,

is going to solve all

my problems with Serena.

Are you talking

about Serena Serena?

As in "You're fired and I never

want to see you again" Serena?

Come on, guys. I think it'll

give us some valuable insights.

Watch it with me

and tell me what you think?

Sure, why not? I'll call Jen.

Sure.

(Grunting)

A movie sounds good.

We'll be there.

(Grunting)

Hey, want to hang

with my friends?

COACH HALDER:

Masterson, give me

another pronto!

(Groaning)

Coach Halder told me

to take lunch now.

Guess I'll see you later.

Can't feel my arms.

(Groaning)

Jen's in. Meet you there?

'Kay.

You know, you'd look really

good in a dress like that.

Oh, so what I'm wearing

isn't nice enough for you?

Uh-oh.

No. I mean, yes, it is.

So what, now that we're, like,

dating it's okay for you to

tell me what to wear? Nice.

Hey, wait!

I was giving you a compliment!

(Groaning)

Tsk tsk.

Lemon Smoothie coming up.

MAN:

Hey!

I know how you feel,

little buddy.

WOMAN:

The secret to beautiful tulips,

my dear, is good compost.

(Grunting)

Aren't there any chicks

under in this flick?

I don't know.

(Shushing)

This is a good part!

(Snoring)

(Grunting)

What? Wait.

That was so cute!

Those old ladies worked

so hard on that garden.

And did you see

how cute they were

in their matching flower hats?

The only thing more boring

than watching old people,

is watching

old people gardening.

So, what do you think

it means for Serena and me?

That's easy. Nothing.

I think it means

you're really boring.

(Groaning)

Want to go to the junior

dance with me next week?

(Giggling)

Sure!

Masterson!

(Sighing)

I know.

You're skating on thin ice,

Masterson.

That's push-ups

this week alone.

Oh, good work, Dobbs.

How come you never get busted?

I don't know, honey.

Guess I'm just lucky.

I'll see you later.

Hey, Honey. There's no strength

left in my upper body!

(Grunting)

(Stanley laughing)

And they say

Coach Halder's groin

has never been the same since!

(Laughing)

Too bad Jonesy

has to work tonight.

Where is he? I'm starving.

There he is, in a skirt.

It's a kilt.

Oh, wow.

You look really good in that.

But you know what

would look even better?

A blue sundress.

Oh ha-ha.

Everyone has to wear

a sports outfit here, remember?

What sport are

you supposed to be?

Field Hockey.

(Laughing)

All the guy sports were taken!

Except for

Cross Country Dressing.

Do you guys want

to order or what?

Uh, do you have chicken legs?

(Laughing)

Well done!

Wayne! What is the point of

this movie you gave me to watch?

Dude, if I tell you,

you won't learn anything.

Plus I'm busy.

But it doesn't make any sense.

If you can't figure it out,

then you don't deserve to

have titles on

the 'staff picks' shelf.

No! Okay, I'll figure it out.

I have a new staff pick.

Plenty of room up there now.

Let's see it.

Radical Pool Party .

I want you to think

about what you just said.

Hm.

(Groaning)

Okay, this is hopeless!

I'll never get my bonus.

Your blending troubles are over.

They are?

Check it out.

Who needs a blender

when you've got

an industrial fan?

(Clanking)

(Screaming)

Nice work, Jude.

So, now that

you've had some time,

what do you

think that movie means?

Still nothing.

I think it means you and Serena

were meant to

be together forever.

You know what? That's it!

You have to tell her.

Hold on.

Wyatt, it's just a movie.

Yeah, but you don't

know the power of Wayne.

The man does give sick advice.

This is crazy,

she broke up with you!

The movie gods have spoken!

You've got to win Serena back!

What?

You're right!

I'm going to do this.

(Groaning)

(Feedback whistling)

(Wayne clearing throat)

Attention, everyone!

This is a message for

Serena at Spin This.

(Gasping)

Serena, it's Wyatt.

I know you're here today

because I saw you

stacking the new releases.

Stalker.

I can't stop thinking about you

and I really want you to give

me one more chance.

I'll wait for your answer,

as long as it takes.

All I need is a yes.

(Groaning)

Or a no. If you could just,

you know, shout out an answer.

I'll just wait here and listen.

(Coughing)

Uh, oh, okay. Um.

(Groaning)



That's it I guess.

They never listen.

(Grunting)

COACH HALDER:

What's taking so long

with that display, Masterson?

(Gasping)

Sorry, Coach.

My arms are so tired.

Whoa!

(Screaming)

Are you okay, honey?

No, I'm not okay.

I've done like seven hundred

stupid push-ups for you!

My arms are noodles!

Cute noodles.

Noodles aren't cute!

They're soft and droopy.

How come you don't

do any push-ups?

Uh, why would I do them

if he didn't make me?

Oh, I don't know,

because you're a guy

and you should act like a man?

Jen, you know I have

baseball tryouts coming up.

I can't be over-working

my arms for no reason.

No reason?

Oh, Dobbs,

could you come over here

and show me that swing of yours.

(Chuckling)

Yes, Coach.

(Groaning)

(Giggling)

That's an interesting technique.

And surprisingly dangerous.

Hey, Jen!

Nikki and I were thinking of

inviting Charlie

to our movie night.

You know, since he's

sort of part of the g*ng now.

Part of the g*ng?

Sure. We all agreed he's in.

The guy brings the funny.

Do you know what he

puts on his hot dogs?

Nothing. It's just a wiener

and a bun and that's it.

And that laugh.

It's so annoying.

Do you know he calls me honey?

"Honey, do the push-ups for us.

Honey, I have baseball tryouts."

Ooh, wish him luck for me!

(Shouting)

How are you doing?

Great. Never felt better.

I know what would

make you feel better.

An orange mocha stimulatte!

Hurray up, Caitlin. He's almost

finished his last one.

Uh, don't you think

he's had enough?

No. Drink this, Wyatt.

It will help dull

the sting of rejection.

Feeling better?

I don't know. I am more twitchy.

That's a good sign!

Okay, I've got to

get back to the lemon.

Continue stimulatte consumption

until he's no longer

thinking of you know who.

(Sighing)

Drink, Wyatt, drink.

(Groaning)

Jonesy! Did you get my message?

What do you think

I've got under my kilt?

You know it!

Jonesy, this is perfect!

(Choking)

(Squealing)

I better get back.

They don't know I'm gone.

Okay, thanks again!

Later.

CAITLYN:

Hi!

Hey. Have you ever

noticed that Charlie's hair

isn't cut straight?

Uh-oh. I'll be right there.

What happened?

You've never complained

about his hair before.

I've decided it's actually

his head. It's too big.

And whenever he

lifts something heavy,

he gets this giant

purple vein in his neck.

I think I'm just going

to have to let him go.

Look, Charlie's a great catch.

He's cute and he cried during

Life's Little Wrinkles.

And the guys love him!

Plus, his head's

not really that big.

What's the matter

with your arms?

Hm, you should look after that.

See ya!

(Groaning)

I'm missing something here.

What is he trying to tell me?

Why don't you

ask those old dudes?

They've probably seen it.

Good idea! Ask the old people!

Great idea.

Dude?

Hello, Ladies.

Hey Jonesy! Thanks!

No worries.



(Gasping)

No one at the restaurant

likes it anyway.

You mean, this lemonade

was once up Jonesy's skirt?

Hm?

(Spitting, groaning)

Yeah, good call.

Caitlin! Why don't you remind

Nikki what a great guy I am

sneaking you cans of

lemonade to save your hide?

Don't put me in

the middle of this.

You did commit a serious mistake

of the new-boyfriend code.

What?

You told me to

change my clothes.

No, I-I was just--

Are all girls this difficult?

Just the ones with brains.

Okay, fine.

I'm taking these back.

Oh!

Sorry, I lost you your

gross skirt lemonade.

That's okay.

Nothing overrides a girl's

right to her own fashion.

So, you think the movie

was about planting tulips.

Wow.

Not exactly the insight

I was hoping for.

So, my question is,

does gardening have anything

to do with being together?

What is your secret on

being together for so long?

Nothing better ever came along.

(Grunting)

Hm.

So, uh, do you dig old chicks?

I don't think this is working.

We need a new plan.

Right. Like what?

Hm.

Disguise yourself as a woman

and ask Wayne to

explain the movie.

Aw, man.

I always have to

dress up like the chick.

(Falsetto)

Excuse me.

(Gasping)

I watched Life's Little Wrinkles

the other day

and I was wondering...

Yeah?

What's the message of the movie?

WAYNE:

Well, I'd tell you

if you weren't

a guy dressed as an old woman!

What is with you, dude?

It's my fault.

I can't figure out what

Life's Little Wrinkles

was supposed to mean!

What the heck kind of

recommendation was that anyway?

What-what are

you talking about?

The movie you gave me.

That wasn't the movie

you were supposed to watch.

It wasn't?

No! Why would I tell you

to watch that chick flick?

So, then why'd

you give it to me!?

I didn't, but I have

a feeling I know what happened.

This is the movie you

were supposed to watch,

Dumping Amy.

You gave him

the wrong movie, dude.

Oh.

This is all your fault?

(Gulping)

I watched that thing

twelve times because of you?

All the boxes look the same!

(Laughing)

JEN:

Do you ever think

fries are better than boys?

All the time.

(Phone ringing)

Can you see who it is?

I can't lift up the phone.

It's Charlie.

(Groaning)

Let it ring.

You're dumping him, aren't you?

And I was just

starting to like him.

And I'm just starting to

get feeling back in my arms.

(Big Steve cheering)

(Gasping)

It's Big Steve!

Quick, where can I hide

the busted blender?

Just play it cool, Caitlin!

I'm back. How's the ranch?

Um, okay.

I'm gonna rustle me

up a Lemon Smoothie.

Hope you don't mind.

Mind?

No, I-I don't mind.

Ah, blast!

Think I busted the blender.

Oh, well.

Oh, well?

You mean you're not mad?

Heck no!

These things only live so long.

We were long overdue.

I'll pick one up tomorrow.

Great!

Hey! Here's that

bonus I promised ya.

Thanks, Big Steve!

(Squealing)

Uh-oh.

I thought I might find you here.

Yup. Here I am.

(Gasping)

Is your phone off?

I just tried calling you, honey.

No, it's on,

but I couldn't pick it up

because my arms are like two

giant pieces of linguine!

Speaking of which,

I should eat a big meal,

baseball tryouts are tomorrow.

I need the energy.

(Screaming)

That's it!

No more push ups

and no more big giant head!

We're so over!

Better hit

the road there, sport.

When she regains use of her arms

she'll come back swinging.

So, who wants to watch

Dumping Amy with me tonight?

Oh.

I can't.



Sorry, dude.

Nope.



I'm busy.

Ah, come on, guys.

Charlie can come too.

No, he can't. I dumped him.

Dumped as in "dumped?"

Yes, dumped like a gym bag full

of sweaty old gym socks. Dumped!

Whoa, but he was so funny.

I'm really gonna miss that guy.

Even though he made

fun of my chicken legs.

Hey, yeah, where's your skirt?

It was a kilt.

And I got fired.

I accidentally

walked over a floor vent.

What? How was I supposed to know

that I couldn't go commando?

That is just ew.

Enough work talk.

What's this?

It's for you.

Something nice that

you'd look really good in.

(All gasping)

BOTH:

Aw.

Thanks, Jonesy.

You know,

you're not so bad after all.

For a guy in a skirt.

Whoo-hoo! Talking to me again!

You know it!

(Chuckling)

Oh, yeah!

At this point,

I'd take the fries any day.

♪