01x11 - The Christmas Story

[bunniefuu]

-(SINGING) Deck the halls
with boughs of holly,

fa-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la.

'Tis the season to be--
[door slams]

-I'm home.

[sighs]

-Dennis, you're
covered with paint.

What have you been up to?

-Painting a Christmas card.

It's for everybody
in the whole world.

[laughs]

-One Christmas
card for everybody?

-Sure.

It's a big one.

It says Merry
Christmas to everybody

and there's a red Santa
Clause about as tall as dad

and there's a green
Christmas tree

about as tall as our
upstairs windows.

-Now Dennis, you're
exaggerating.

-No, I'm not, mom.

I had to stand on a
ladder to paint it.

-What did you paint it on?

-On the side of our house.

[theme music]

-Honey!

Honey!

Honey!

-Yes, dear?

-Ooh.
Oh, I'm back.

-Oh, good.

I'm glad.

I want to talk to you.

-What's up?

-I have looked
all over the house

for the Christmas presents.

They disappeared from
our bedroom closet.

-Simmer it down, honey.

When you were over at Sally's,
I moved them to a safer place.

Dennis is on the prowl again.

-Oh.

-Oh, incidentally, I stopped
by the express office

and picked up grandpa's package.

Dennis got his sled.

[gasps]
-Will he be thrilled.

Where'd you put it?

-Well, at the moment it's
out behind the garage.

I didn't think I'd
better bring it in.

-I'll just take these
things up to the vault.

-Well, the vault?

What vault?

-The old trunk in the attic.

-Oh, Dennis will be
sure to look there.

-Let him look.

The trunk is locked
and I have the key.

You know, every year
that kid's known

what he was getting in
advance and it's ridiculous.

-Jeepers, Tommy.

I counted on Grandpa to send
me a sled, but I can't find it.

-Boy, and tomorrow's Christmas.

-If I don't get
it by bedtime, I'm

going to write another
letter to Santa Clause

and get it that way.

-Santa will probably
be so busy he

won't have time
to read his mail.

-It's probably in here anyway.

I looked everyplace else,
even the deep freeze

and the washing machine.

-Dennis.
-Whoops.

Boy, um, those, uh, shoes of
yours with the rubber soles

sure are quiet, ain't they dad?

-They sure are.

Now, get away from that trunk.

-I guess you want me to get
away from it because there's

some stuff hidden
in it, huh, dad?

-Never mind.

And where did you
get those keys?

-I went to every
house on the block

asking for keys that didn't
belong to anything anymore.

Hey, you gonna hide
some more presents?

-Yes, I am, but not
while you're around.

Now you two run on downstairs.

-Come on, Tommy.

-Yeah, I think I'd
better go home.

-Hey, dad, if you were going
to hide some present that you

don't have with you right
now, would it have runners?

-Dennis!

[playing bugle]

-Dennis, you can't take your
bugle shopping with you.

-I figured I might
get in some practice.

-I know.

That's why you're not taking it.

-Hey, dad.

Listen to me play it now.

[playing bugle]

-Okay.

Dennis, Dennis, honey,
not in the house.

-Jeepers, haven't I got it yet?

-Well, not quite.

-Maybe it's because
I'm wearing my mittens.

I'll try it with them off.

-No, you don't.

You go out and wait
for me in the car.

-Would you like me to
warm the car up for you?

-No, you leave it alone.

-The human bloodhound and
I should be back in an hour

or so.

-Well, in that length
of time I ought

to be able to hide an
elephant from Sherlock Holmes.

-Yes, but can you hide
the presents from Dennis?

- .

cards Martha.

-Well, isn't it nice to know
we have so many friends.

-Yes, but we sent out cards.

What's the matter
with the rest of them?

-You're not supposed
to count them, dear.

Where's your Christmas spirit?

-Well, I'm full of it.

It's the other eight
people that don't have any.

[doorbell]

-I'm full of it.

[doorbell]

-If that's Dennis leaning
on that doorbell again,

I'm going to send
him right back home.

-Now, you be nice
to him, George.

-Dennis, what are
you-- Oh, Mitchell.

-I'm sorry, Mr. Wilson.

It's stuck.

-Oh, no harm done.
Ha, ha.

Come on in.

Have you seen the postman yet?

-No, I don't he's been by yet.
-Oh, good.

Ha, ha, ha.

Well, what are all of these?

-They're presents for Dennis.

Alice took him
shopping an hour ago

and I've been trying
to find a hiding

place that he
doesn't know about.

-Well?

-There isn't any.

I was wondering if
you could help me out.

-Well, I think we can
help you out, hey, Martha?

-Oh, hello, Mrs. Wilson.

-Hello, Henry.

Why don't you put it in there?

-Oh, yeah, the hall
closet should hold them.

-Well, that'd be just fine.

-And the, uh, door, uh, ha,
ha, ha, should hold off Dennis.

-Ha, ha.

Yes, the door
should-- Oh, you've

removed the crayon marks.

-Yes, I sanded it
down and repainted it.

Ha.

Martha wanted the house to
look fresh for the holidays.

-We were terribly
sorry about that--

-Oh, no, no no.

Forget it.

Ha.

At least he's, uh,
grown out of that phase

or exchanged for a new one.

-You mean his, uh, his bugleing?

-I, I hope it hasn't
been bothering you.

-Well, frankly, it has.

What is that he's
trying to play?

-"Silent Night."

[laughing]

-Well, you can't play
"Silent Night" on a bugle.

-Well, that's what
I told him, but he

said he's going to be the first.

-Great.

-And I'll bet he will too.

Henry, would you
like some coffee?

-Uh, yes, that'd be
fine, Mrs. Wilson.

-Good.

[laughing]

-That kid.

-More coffee, Henry?

-Oh, thank you.

No, Mrs. Wilson.
I've been here over an hour.

I've got to get home.

-Oh.

I may be over later
with some more presents

if you don't mind.

-Oh, no.

Anytime at all, Mitchell.

[playing bugle]

-I'll make him stop.

[playing bugle]

-Dennis, don't blow your bugle
in Mr. Wilson's yard, please!

-You want me to play it
for him in the house?

-That's one pleasure we
will forego, thank you.

-You mean, you
want me to play it?

-No, it doesn't.

-Don't you like Christmas
carols, Mr. Wilson?

-Of course, I do.

-Well, then how come you--

-Because I don't
like them on a bugle.

-Are you mad, Mr. Wilson?

-No.

-Well, then Merry
Christmas, Mr. Wilson.

-Merry Christmas.

-I think we'd better
run along, son.

See you later, Mr. Wilson.

-Tommy's coming over
now, Mr. Wilson,

but I'll see you later too.

-That should give me
something to look forward to.

-Ho, ho, Mr. Dorfman.

-Oh, you have something for me?

-Hello, Mr. Wilson,
Mr. Mitchell, Dennis.

Yes, I think I have
something here for everyone.

-Gee, that's swell.

-Mr. George Wilson,
and Mitchell's,

Dennis Mitchell, Mr.
and Mrs. Mitchell.

Oh, here's one for Mrs.
Wilson, Mr. Wilson.

-Dennis, another one for
you, Mr. Mitchell, Mitchell,

Mitchell, Mitchell.

-Thank you, Mr. Dorfman.

-Are you sure you
haven't anymore for me?

-No, that's all of this
delivery, Mr. Wilson.

Well, Merry Christmas, everyone.

(ALL) Merry Christmas.

-Mr. Dorfman, I got two.

How many did you get, Dad?
-Oh, seven or eight.

-How many did you
get, Mr. Wilson?

-Uh, well, I don't
count them, Dennis.

That's not the Christmas spirit.

-Come on, son.

-Hey, they're gone.

-Every year I have
to go through this.

First they hide them and then I
find them, then they move then

and then I got to
find them again.

-Same way at my house.

Are you sure you're getting
a sled from your uncle?

-Sure I'm sure.

They got a swell
hiding place too.

It's in the storage
bin in our garage.

-Boy, I sure wish I
could find my sled.

It's certainly not up here.

Let's go look in
Mom and Dad's room.

-I thought they already
tried hiding them there?

-Yeah, but sometimes
they get kind of tricky.

They might have put them back.

-Hi, Mom.
Watcha doin'?

-I'm wrapping presents.

Oh, if you would
bring me the alarm

clock you got for your
father, I'll wrap that too.

-OK, in a minute.

-Put it down, young man.

-I think me and Tommy
will just sit down

on the floor for a minute
and rest our bones.

-Anything under there?

-Nothing but dust.

Anything you want me to hang
up in your closet for ya?

-Well, yes.

You could take my robe and hang
it in the closet if you like.

-You mean you don't care
if I look in your closet?

-Of course not.

-I guess your hangers are
too high for me to reach.

How would you like me to put it
in one of your bureau drawers

for you?

-All right.

-Is there any drawer
you especially

don't want me to put it in?

-No.

-You're wasting your time.

-Boy, you sure got
them hid, haven't you?

-We sure have.

I'm sorry, young man.

You're out of luck this time.

-Come on, Tommy.

Let's go downstairs.

-Where are we gonna look now?

-I think I'll have a little
talk with good old dad

before I do anymore looking.

He might let it slip
where they're hidden.

-He looks like he is asleep.

-Are you asleep, dad?

Huh?

Are you asleep?

Hey, dad.

Are you sleeping?

Huh, dad?

-Here, give him a
jute on your bugle.

-I'd better not.

It's too close to Christmas.

-Oh, hi, son, Tommy.
-Hi, dad.

-Hi, Mr. Mitchell.

-Did you just wake up?
-Yeah.

It felt like I had
a fly on my nose.

-OK if I sit on your stomach?

-If you don't bounce.

-Oh, boy!

Climb aboard, Tom.

-Hot dog!

-Oh, I hope you don't have
anymore friends coming over.

-Nope.

Hey, when me and
mom went shopping

we got a present for
you and for Mr. Wilson,

and for Mrs. Wilson,
and for Fremont.

-What did you get for Fremont?

-A great big bone
from the meat market.

-You did, huh?

Yeah, and the butcher
gave me a weenie.

You want to guess
what I got you?

-Um.

-It's something
you'd put on a table.

-I know, liver and onions.

-Dad, no.

It's something you can hear.

-Oh.

A loud tie!

-Oh, boy.

I'm sure fooling you, huh, dad.

-That's not half of what
you're doing to my stomach

when you bounce like that.

-That's 'cause your
stomach's so skinny.

-If you think his
stomach's so skinny,

you ought to see his legs.

Boy, you sure got the--

-All right, Dennis.

That's enough.

What do you want?

-A sled.

Aw, now, that's not what
I meant and you know it.

-OK.

Hey, mom's gonna wrap the
present I got for you.

-Good.
What about it?

-Well, I bet you're
awful curious

about what it is, aren't you?

-Oh, I sure am.

-Well, I don't want
you to do any peeking.

So I want to put it with
all the rest of my presents.

-OK.

-So when I put it there,
where will I put it?

-Ha, ha!

Pretty tricky,
but it won't work.

You're not finding out where
the presents are from me.

-Come on, Tommy.
Let's go back upstairs.

-What for?

-I just thought of
something I gotta do.

Hey, dad, could you
tell me what time it is?

-It's five after : .

-Thanks, dad.

Come on, Tommy.

We'd better hurry.

-Boy, that sure is
a swell alarm clock.

-Sure it is.

It's just the kind dad wanted.

First it rings, then it
stops, then it rings again.

That's so you can't
go back to sleep.

-What time are you
setting the alarm for?

- o'clock.

That'll give mom time
to wrap it and put it

with the other presents while
me and you are out playing.

Then when it goes
off, I'll be back

and I'll hear it and
know where everything is.

-Jeepers, how'd
you think of that?

-I don't know.

I guess I was just
born with a smart head.

Come on, Tommy.

I'm going to take
it over to mom.

-Hey, mom.

-Yes, Dennis.

What is it?

-Here's dad's clock.

And after you wrap
it, will you put it

with the rest of the presents?

-All right, dear.

I'll do it later.

-How about now?

-I have to get
down to the kitchen

and start the cranberry sauce.

-But I thought you were
going to wrap my present?

-Later, Dennis.

The cranberry sauce
takes a long time.

I have to start it early.

-But jeepers, this
present's important, mom.

-Dennis, I'll do it later.

-OK, mom.

That'll be swell.

In fact, that'll be perfect.

-What do you mean?

-Right now, I'm
going out to play.

But if you wrap it
later, then I'll be back

and I can help you
carry the presents

wherever you're putting them.

-On second thought, I
think I will wrap it now.

-Good bye, boys.
Go on out and play.

-What time is it now, dad?

-A little before : .

-How much before : ?

-Two minutes.

-Did mom put all our presents
I'm giving in with the others?

-Yes, she did, Dennis.

-All of them?

-Yes, Dennis, even
Fremont's bone.

-Fremont, look what you've done.

Why, you've just ruined
my new paint job.

Martha he's just ruined it.

-Oh, it's too bad.

-All right.

Just for that, you're
going outside for a while

and you'll just stay there.

-What time is it now, dad?

-I just told you, Dennis.

-That was before.

What time is it now?

-It's exactly o'clock.
Now, will--

-Excuse me, Dad, could
you ball me out later?

I'm trying to hear something.

Do you hear anything?

-Nope.

-The sound I'm trying to hear
is kinda like a doorbell, kinda.

Do you hear anything like that?

-No, I don't

-That's funny.

Neither do I.

[alarm ringing]
-Coming.

Coming.

Hurry, Martha.

-Just a second, George.

-I'll bet that's Dennis
ringing it that way.

-There, don't blame him, George.

You know that bell sticks.

-That's strange, Martha.
There's no one--

[dog whining]

-Fremont, stop that.

[dog whining]

-Just for that, you're
going outside now.

Bad, bad dog.

Bad, bad, bad, bad.

Martha, that dog is just
scratching that door to pieces.

-I wonder why he's doing it.

-Well, if you're asking me, I
think Dennis put him up to it.

-Oh, George, that's ridiculous.

-I long ago learned,
when anything

goes wrong around this house,
somehow Dennis us involved.

[alarm ringing]

-There he is. he doorbell again.

-Now, be nice to him dear.

Remember, it's the
day before Christmas.

-Yeah, and if I
were Santa Clause,

I'd give him a
stocking full of foot.

-Oh, George.

-And you're going to stay
outside now, Fremont.

I'm ashamed.

That's the strangest
thing, Martha.

Nobody's ever there
and Fremont just

rushes in and-- great Scott.

-What is it, dear?

-Martha, do you realize
what's been happening?

Fremont's been
ringing our doorbell.

-Oh, George.

That's silly.

-No, it isn't Dennis taught him
to do it just to irritate me.

He jumped up and, and
rings it with his nose.

[alarm ringing]

-See there, he's doing it again.

-Well, aren't you
going to answer it?

-Ha, ha.

I am not.

Why, if that dog starts
thinking I'm at his beckon call

I'll never have a moment's rest.

I'm just going to let him ring.

[alarm ringing]

-Aw, Dennis.

Forget about finding
the presents.

Tonight we'll have a lovely
time trimming the tree.

Tomorrow morning
it'll be Christmas

and you can open everything.

-OK.

-Now you run on
outside and play.

-Hey, why don't we
write another letter

to Santa Clause in case grandpa
forgot to send me my sled?

-I think you've written enough
letters to Santa Clause.

-What if I get dad to help?

-Oh, Dennis.

Run on outside.

Get Tommy to play with you.

-What I need is some friend
to write me a good letter.

-All right.

Dennis.

Be sure to put your cap on.

-Hi ya, Fremont.

[doorbell]

-Now don't tell me
that was Fremont.

-Well, if it was,
he's gone too far.

-Hiya, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, hi, Dennis.

Come on in out of the cold.

Oh.

All right, Dennis.

What do you want?

-I wondered if you'd help
me write a letter to--

[dog scratching]

-Hey, how come Fremont's
scratching at that door?

-I don't know.

He's been doing
it all afternoon.

You'd think there
was a bone in there.

-A bone?

Hey, why don't we take a
look at that good old closet,

Mr. Wilson?
-Uh, uh, uh, no.

No, Dennis.

-Jeepers, it'd
only take a minute.

-I want both of you out of here.

-Even before I say
hello to Mrs. Wilson?

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

-Hello, Dennis.

Are you putting up
your tree tonight?

-Sure we are.

Are you?

-No, dear.

We decided not to have one this
year just for the two of us.

-Gee, that's too bad.

Hey, you want me to
looking that closet

and see if there's a bone there?

-No, thank you, Dennis.

-Well, if you're not
interested and Mr. Wilson's not

interested, how about if I look
for me because I'm interested?

-No, I'm sorry, Dennis.

You are not going to
look in that closet,

not while I'm here
to stop you now.

Come on, outside.

And you too, Fremont.

Go on.

Go ahead.

-Hey, how's that?

-Well, oh, I, I think
that's a little bit--

put one light right
up on that limb.

-There.
Is that all right?

-That's perfect.

-Poor Mr. And Mrs. Wilson.

-What?

-Poor Mr. and Mrs. Wilson!

-Well, what's the matter?

-They're going to be all alone
Christmas Eve and they haven't

even got a tree.

Why don't we ask them to
come over and help trim ours?

-Why, that's a
good idea, Dennis.

-You go over and ask them to
come spend the evening with us.

Oh, I'm so glad you
thought of it, Dennis.

-Yeah, so am I. That'll
give good old Mr. And Mrs.

Wilson a chance to get
out of their house.

-Oh.

-Oh, that is a pretty
tree all right.

-Oh, it's lovely.

-It's the loveliest
tree I've ever seen.

-Oh, sweetheart, you
say that every year.

-Well, every year it's true.

-What I think the tree needs
is some more peppermint canes.

-There'd be more if you
wouldn't eat them so fast.

-Yeah.

Oh, Dennis, uh, don't
get your hands on me now.

You got them all
sticky from candy.

-George is so afraid on getting
something on his Christmas tie.

He buys himself a
new one every year.

-It's very handsome, Mr. Wilson.

-It's a beautiful tie.

-Hey, it's snowing!
(ALL) Snowing?

-Snowing?
[interposing voices]

-Oh, it looks like we'll have
our white Christmas after all.

-Truly beautiful.

-Boy, I sure hope I'm a sled.

-Dennis, you promised not
to mention that again.

-Yeah, well, I sure
hope I'm getting one

'cause I don't want all
that snow to go to waste.

-Dennis, why don't we hang
your Christmas stocking?

-Well, I got one ready,
but it's kind of different.

-Different?
-Sure, it's rubber.

[gasps]

-Where on earth?

-That's my hip boot.

-Did you want to use it?

-Well, I guess not.

-Oh, Dennis, it'll take half
of Santa's pack to fill that.

-Yeah, that's what I figured.

-I'll hang it up for you, son.

-And you know what
I'm going to do now

while you all sit by the fire?

I'm going to play "Silent
Night" for you on my bugle.

-Uh, uh, Martha, I think
we'd better be leaving.

-Now, George, sit down.

[playing bugle]

-Dennis, I don't
think you'd better.

-But jeepers, I've been
practicing all week.

-You certainly have.

-Jeepers, dad,
don't I have it yet?

-Well, uh, not quite, son.

-Dennis, I have a better idea.

Why don't we all
sing "Silent Night?"

-That's a good idea.

-Sing it, yeah.

-(SINGING) Silent
night, holy night.

All is calm, all is bright.

'Round yon virgin
mother and child.

Holy infant so tender and mild.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

Sleep in heavenly peace.

-Dennis, that was lovely.

-OK if I have one of
those Christmas cookies?

-Yes, of course.

-God bless us, everyone.

-Now, I feel like it
really is Christmas.

-That's my favorite carol, and
Dennis sang it like an angel.

-Oh, he is an angel, Martha.

An absolute angel.

-Wow!

I got it!