02x03 - Dennis and the Radio Set

[bunniefuu]

-And who'll say $.?

$ for this excellent pair

of field glasses, practically

brand now.

Remember this is for charity.

$, $ to the man in the grey

hat, going once, going twice,

sold.

And now, I have

something very nice

donated by a wonderful lady for

the benefit of our children's

orphanage.

, one dozen, --

-Well, hi, Mr. Wilson.

AUCTIONEER (OFFSCREEN):

Take my word for it.

-Oh, hello, Dennis.

What are you doing here?

-I went to the meat

market for Mom.

AUCTIONEER (OFFSCREEN):

Do I hear $?

-What are we

watching, Mr. Wilson?

AUCTIONEER (OFFSCREEN): $.

-I'm watching an auction.

AUCTIONEER (OFFSCREEN):

No takers at $?

-Oh.

I'd rather watch television.

You can see better.

You want to lift me up

so i can help you watch?

-No, can't you see I'm

loaded down with groceries?

-Do you want me to

help you carry some?

-I should say not.

Don't your remember what

happened the last time?

-Oh, eggs again?

-Yes.

-Do I hear $.?

-I won't drop them this time.

-No, Dennis.

-Sold to the man holding

up the paper bag.

-Hey, you made a good buy

on them table napkins.

-What's that?

-Yeah, them-- them table

napkins you bid in for $..

I say you made a good buy.

-I didn't make a bid.

-Well, sure.

You had your hand up.

Oh-- oh, no.

Oh, oh, Mr.--

[stuttering]

-Mr. Auctioneer?

-Yes, sir?

-There's a mistake.

I didn't mean to put in a bid.

-Please, folks,

don't raise your hand

unless you're making a bid.

And then, for goodness sakes,

go on with your bargain,

even if you have to put out

the princely sum of $.

for the orphans

of this community.

[theme music]

-And now, something for

you collectors, especially

those of you who remember

the good old days,

the roaring 's.

I have here a genuine

-tube superheterodyne

radio set.

-Oh, Mr. Wilson,

I'm so sorry you

didn't take those table napkins.

-Well, you see, Mrs.

Schooner, it was a mistake.

-They were donated

to us by Mrs. Scott.

And I know she would

just have loved

to see them go to Mrs. Wilson.

-Yeah, well--well, you see, I

didn't mean to raise my hat.

-Mr. Mooney, our auctioneer,

was so disappointed.

AUCTIONEER (OFFSCREEN): $.--

-He's giving his time

free, and he works so hard.

-Well, if you'd

just let me explain.

Now you see, I was trying

to keep my eggs from him.

He wanted to carry them for me.

-That's right, Mrs. Schooner,

it wasn't his fault.

I tried to take

his eggs like this.

-Dennis, no!

-Sold to the man

holding up the bag.

-And you'd better take

it this time, Buster.

-Wha?

-You just bought a

junky, old radio $..

[eggs cracking]

Great Scott!

-Is it all right?

-Well, you're

doing better, dear.

You're only $ off this month.

-Hi, ma.

Hi, dad.

Look what I have.

-Oh, where on earth

did you get that?

-Mr. Wilson gave it to me.

-Well, I should think he would.

Now who do we give it to?

-But it's a super

radio set, Mom.

Can I keep it?

-My, it's an old

superheterodyne.

-Oh, what a monstrosity.

-My dad used to have one of

these remarkable old sets.

Boy, did it get distance.

-Can I keep it?

-Well, I--

-Dennis, we have a nice

modern radio in the kitchen.

And there's another

pretty one upstairs.

-Your Mom's right, son.

It probably won't play anyway.

-Sure it'll play, Dad.

The man wouldn't sell Mr. Wilson

something that wouldn't play.

-Mr. Wilson bought it?

I-- I thought he found it

in his attic or some place.

-The man at the auction

sold it to Mr. Wilson.

And he gave it to me.

Can I keep it?

-Well, Dennis, I--

-Please?

-Well, what do you say, honey?

I don't think it

can do any harm.

-OK.

But let's put it out

on the patio that way

it'll be handy for the junk

man when he gets tired of it.

-Gee, thanks, dad.

Thanks, mom.

-All right.

-I'll take it out to the

patio and plug it in for you.

-Honey, dinner's about ready.

Would you call Dennis?

-OK.

-Hey, the radio works.

I got it to work.

-You did?

-I sure did, boy, right

after I took those bills out

of the inside.

-Bills?

-Money bills-- the insides are

just full of them, like this.

-That's a $.

-Oh, I've got to see this.

[hollering]

-Henry, look at this!

-$s, $s--

-$s.

Well, the--there's

hundreds of dollars here.

-Dennis, you're rich.

-I am?

Jeepers!

Mr. Wilson, Mr. Wilson!

Come see what I

found in my radio!

-Now, why would I care

what he found in his radio?

-I never thought you'd

get here, Mr Wilson.

I called, and

called, and called.

-Well, you could've

mentioned money

in the first place, Dennis.

-There's $,.

-And in this old

radio I bid for.

Well, it's like I

always say, Martha.

It pays to give to charity.

-Did you say that, George?

-Why, there's enough here

for that electrical golf

cart plus a set of match clubs.

Oh, and more.

-Or enough for the start

of a college education

fund for someone I know.

-You did give the set

to Dennis, remember?

-I did?

-Yes, you said he's

the legal owner now

and that he couldn't

give it back to you.

So don't you have something

to say to Alice and Henry?

-Yes, I'm sorry.

O-Oh, I mean I'm sorry I got

carried away thinking about

that new electric golf

cart I saw this morning.

No, no, the set

belongs to Dennis.

I gave it to him.

It's his without any strings.

-I've been thinking

about that, Mr. Wilson.

It's true.

You did give the set

to Dennis, but you

bought it in the first place.

-Uh, well yes, that's right.

-So I think it ought

to be a / split.

-I should say so.

-Oh, Alice, you and Henry

are such good neighbors.

-Well, you certainly are!

Well, shall we split the melon?

-There's no time

like the present.

[mr. wilson chuckling]

-But Dad, aren't we

going to find the owner

and give it back for a reward?

-Oops.

-Mrs. Morrison says

you always return

money and stuff if you find it.

-Mrs. Morrison?

-Well, that's his

school teacher.

-Oh, Dennis, you're right.

What in the world

were we thinking of?

Of course we have

to find the owner.

-Well, that's for

your half, Dennis.

Mr. Wilson can spend his or

do whatever he wants with it.

-Well, there's this

electric golf cart on sale.

It's a steal for $.

-No sir, Dad.

Mr. Wilson's my honest friend.

He wouldn't spend it.

[mr. wilson chuckling]

-Yes, thank you, Dennis.

It's all right, Mitchell.

I don't think we'll ever

find the owner, anyway.

Why, from the looks

of that old set,

the money was

probably left there

by some old miser who's

dead and buried by now.

-Dennis, tonight we'll write

out an ad for the newspaper.

-Boy, I sure hope

we get a big reward.

-You're sure this is the

way you want it, Mr. Wilson?

-Oh, yes, Mitchell.

I mustn't set a bad

example for Dennis.

And as I say, I doubt that

we'll find the owner anyway.

As a matter of fact, I

feel so sure about it

that I'm going back

downtown and snap up

the bargain on that golf cart.

[mr. wilson chuckling]

-No more tramping up and

down those fairways for me.

No sir.

[mr. wilson chuckling]

-I'm sorry I'm late, Mr. Wilson.

I found I could make an

early call on a customer

before going to the office.

-Oh well.

That's all right, Mitchell.

-Here's the ad that

Alice and Dennis drew up.

-Oh, fine.

Oh, say, by the way, did you

see my new electrical golf

car this morning?

-No, I didn't.

-Well, I rode it past

your house twice.

I thought you

might have seen it.

-Sorry.

-Well, anyway, it's a beauty.

[mr. wilson chuckling]

-Will I be able to speed

down those fairways now!

A-- oh, Mitchell, you're

saying too much here.

-You know, I think

you're right, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh.

-It's the first

time I've read this.

-Sure.

You know, the problem

with returning

found money is to

make absolutely sure

that only the real

owner gets it.

Why, with this description

you'd have every fortune hunter

in the country

hammering at your door.

-I agree.

-But you wouldn't

want that, would ya?

-No.

-No.

Now, listen to this first part.

"Found $, in old paper

currency consisting of , s,

and s," or just cut

that out and say money.

Money.

Listen to this next part.

"Stuffed in the back of a

superheterodyne radio

set with mahogany cabinet."

[mitchell chuckling]

-I'm sorry about

that, Mr. Wilson.

Why, with this ad, anyone

could claim the money,

we'd have to give it to them.

-Why, of course.

Let's just cut this

down to size, shall we?

-Oh, excuse me, is

Mr. Krinkie around?

-He went down to the City Hall.

Could I help you?

-Oh, yes, we'd like

to place an ad.

Could it get in the

afternoon paper?

-Yes, sir.

-Good.

-It looks like

it's going to rain.

-Huh, rain?

Well, by golly, it does.

Say, I intended to

play some golf today.

Instead, I better go home

and get my patio furniture

under cover.

-That'll be $., sir.

-Oh.

-I'll split it

with you, Mitchell.

-Hi, Mr. Krinkie.

-Hello, Dennis, Tommy.

-You in there getting

a story for your paper?

-Yes, my reporter's

on a vacation.

-He is?

Could I have a job

while he's away?

-Oh, I'm afraid not, Dennis.

-But when I was

a little kid, you

said you might let me

report for you someday.

Now I've got a report

card and everything.

-I know you're learning

to write and spell,

Dennis, but I need someone

who is a little bit more

experienced who has a nose

for news, as the saying goes.

-That's me.

I can smell real good.

-That's not exactly

what I meant.

Anyway, as I told

you before, I'll

always print a good

story if you bring it in.

-If I told you I found

$, in an old radio set,

would that be a story?

-Why, yes Dennis, if

it were a true story.

-This really happened.

-Really?

Honest engine?

-Yeah.

Both really and honest engine.

-Well, that's sounds like

a good news item, Dennis.

Tell me about it.

[laughing]

-The way I got it to work was

to tap it three times right here

and hook these two

wires together.

-Boy, it sure plays

good for so old.

-That's because my Dad

worked on it last night

and put in some new tubes.

-He said I might get

some station far off.

ALICE (OFFSCREEN): Dennis,

go straighten up your room.

-OK, Mom.

Come on, Tommy.

MALE SPEAKER (ON RADIO):

Clearing skies and sunshine,

a forecast for [inaudible].

Yes, our local weatherman

has a surprise for us.

Sunshine.

Sunshine within the next

hour and throughout the rest

of the day.

Therefore, if you're planning

a hunt, a spot of fishing,

boating, or a day of

golf, you can go out

with the weatherman's

assurance of glorious sunshine.

Thus, it appears

that hunters should

have good sh**ting

in the interior,

a rapidly diminishing

low pressure area

should clear things up.

This concludes our summary of

local sports news and weather

for Kenya Colony, East Africa.

Now for the

translation in Swahili.

[speaking swahili]

-Who are you calling?

-Uh, Mr. Moorhead.

-The President of the bank?

-Uh, yes.

It's his afternoon

to play hookie,

so I've inviting him to

play golf in my new cart.

-It was going to pour.

-Oh no, dear.

We'll have sunshine

within an hour.

And then it'll be fine

for the rest of the day.

I just heard it over the radio.

-I'm sorry, Mr. Moorhead,

but the weatherman distinctly

promised sunshine.

-Now if someone lost some

money in a radio set,

and he reads this, he'll

know whether it's his or not.

-Yeah, and if it

isn't his, he won't

to have to bother

in coming over.

-And if it is his, he'll say

boy, they found my money.

I've gotta go right over

and give Dennis a reward.

Boy, I'm sure glad

it stopped raining.

-It sure tells a lot more

than this dinky little ad here

in the back.

-Yeah, somebody took out all

the words me and Mom put down.

Boy, I bet my Dad

and Mr. Wilson are

going to be mighty

mad when they see it.

-Thanks for the eggs, Alice.

I'd planned to go to the

store this afternoon,

but I got bogged down with

other things, that is.

-You're welcome.

-Oh, by the way, I

brought over my newspaper.

-Oh good.

We haven't seen ours yet.

Dennis must have it.

-Ah, let's look for our ad, huh?

Eh.

Oh, yeah, there

it is right there.

-Is that all it says?

-Well, honey, when we got

down to the newspaper office

we cut out a little

of the description.

As it was, we would have

had half the fortune hunters

in the country

pounding on our doors.

[doorbell rings]

DENNIS (OFFSCREEN): I'll get it.

-OK.

-Oh, yes.

You see, Alice, the

burden about finding money

is that you have to be

so careful and cagey not

to give it to some crook

who comes claiming.

Why, the less you

describe it, the better.

-Well, I just hope

the real owner

can even recognize it from that.

-Oh, we did the smart

thing all right, Alice.

Now, from the little

information we've

given, we'll know the

real owner the minute

he describes the money in the

set, if the owner's alive,

which I doubt.

[alice sighs]

-You may be right.

-It's too bad you didn't get to

use your new golf cart today.

-Oh, I did.

-Really?

In all that rain?

-You know, Mitchell,

there are two things badly

needed in this community, new

weatherman and harder fairways.

-Where's the money, Mom?

-Why?

-Because the man that lost

it has come here to get it.

-What?

-Now, uh, Mr. Brown,

you understand

that I'll have to ask

you some questions?

-Well, it's my money

and my radio all right.

-What year model?

-.

-That was in the ad.

Uh, just what did we

find in the radio?

-Money.

-That fact was also in the ad.

-Describe the money.

-Paper money.

-Well, you wouldn't

hide silver in a radio.

So the only assumption you could

make is that it's paper money.

Oh, no.

I'm afraid if you can't tell

us more than that, we'll

have to assume it was some

other radio that you lost.

Sorry.

-$,, that's what it is.

There's fives,

tens, and twenties.

[eggs cracking]

-Great Scott!

-And you found it in

the back of a Saturn

superheterodyne -tube set.

-Take it, take it.

-It's his, all right.

-Yes.

-Shouldn't we ask

about a reward?

-Well, you seem to be the

true owner, Mr. Brown.

-And I'll tell you

something else.

It was a table model,

mahogany cabinet.

-That it is.

That it is.

-We're sure glad we could

find you, Mr. Brown.

Can I ask you something?

-Not now, Dennis.

-I was just going to ask about

those initials on the back.

-Oh, all right, Dennis.

-Now, uh, Mr. Brown,

about the reward--

-How about %?

-Well, shouldn't we say %?

-OK, I'll be a sport, %.

-I'll go get the money.

-Mr. Brown, did you like

my picture in the paper?

-What picture?

-My picture in tonight's

paper that Mr. Krinkie

put in telling all

about the money.

-What's this?

-I guess I'm a celebrity, huh?

-Here's your money.

-Just a minute!

-Well, yes.

Let's not be hasty, Mitchell.

Dennis just gave all the

facts to the newspaper.

-And Mr. Brown hasn't

told us one thing

that isn't in the article.

-Dennis, uh, what were you

saying about some initials?

-They're on the back of the set.

There's three of

them, and they say--

-Oh, don't tell him.

I'm sorry, Mr. Brown.

You may be the

true owner, but you

will have to give

us the initials

on the back of the set.

-Initials?

Well, they must have

been scratched on

after I lost the set.

-But it isn't scratched on.

It's on a little metal board.

-A metal plate.

-Is that what you call them?

-What year did you say you

lost the radio, Mr. Brown?

-Well, I didn't

say, but it must've

been around or .

-That's very strange.

There's a bill here issued .

How do you account for that?

-Well, uh--

[mr. wilson chuckling]

-Well, I guess that just about

does it, doesn't it, Mr. Brown?

-I guess it does.

I guess I must've been mistaken.

-It must've been

some other radio

that you lost with

$,, huh, Mr. Brown?

-That's it, kid.

That's it.

Say, could I speak

to you for a minute?

-Hm?

-Could you spare $.

for a cup of coffee?

-Oh, for Pete's sake, here.

-Thank you.

-Well, you certainly

saved the day, boy.

-I did?

-You certainly did,

even though you

did give the fortune

hunters all the facts.

-I've got to go back

and see Tommy, OK?

-OK, dear.

-Dennis, just where are

those initials, huh?

-Right here.

-Oh, yes.

-Here are your eggs, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh.

Ah yes, coming Mitchell.

Thank you.

Oh, I'll really be careful

with them this time.

Now, when the next

fortune hunter shows up,

I suggest that you ask right

off about the initials.

No sense wasting time.

-You're absolutely right.

[doorbell rings]

-Well, what have we here?

-I've come about the ad.

-How about you two?

The ad also?

-Well, gentlemen,

there was a mistake

and full details were

printed in the paper.

So there's no point in

having you describe the find.

However, there's one important

clue, a special identification

on the back of the set.

Now, can any one of

you tell me what it is?

Some initials.

Well, if you can't

give them to us

you might just as

well run along.

-Well, I um--

-You two?

OK, sorry.

This only confirms what I've

said all along, Mitchell.

The real owner

will never show up.

Oh, it's clearing up nicely.

Should be a fine day

for golf tomorrow.

-Yeah, it should be.

Well, thanks for

everything, Mr. Wilson.

-Oh, not at all, Mitchell.

-Is this Elm?

-Yes.

-Well, I came about the ad.

Are you the person

that found the radio?

-Well--

-You didn't come to claim

it yourself, I hope.

Because if you did--

-Oh, no, no, no, no.

The little boy and I

found the radio set.

-Well, let me see it,

make sure it's mine.

-Oh, well, that

won't be necessary.

Now, you just tell me if there's

some special identification

on the back.

Otherwise, you might just

as well be on your way.

-There was a little metal plate

with mother's initials on it.

Well, she marked all

over furniture that way.

Her initials are J-M-D.

[eggs cracking]

-Great Scott!

Alice!

Mitchell!

-Well, uh, how did the bills

get in there in the first place?

-Well, before she died,

mother started hiding money.

Well, I thought

I'd found it all.

It never occurred to

me to look in a radio.

-Well, here it is,

Miss Douglas, $,.

I guess you can use it?

-Oh, yes.

Charity, you know?

-You aren't going to keep it?

-Oh, no.

No, I help maintain a

home for lonesome animals,

and any extra money

I get goes for that.

This goes into that new

wing we're building.

-Do we get a reward?

-Dennis!

-Sure ya do, sonny.

Now, if I get this straight,

you gave the radio to Dennis?

-Eh, yes.

Then that makes him

the legal owner.

Here's $ to start

a college education

fund for that smart boy.

-Well, thank you, Mrs. Douglas.

-That's very generous of you.

-As for Mr. Wilson--

-Yes?

-and in return

for your efforts--

-Yes?

-I'm, uh, giving the remainder--

let's see, that's $,--

-Yes?

-into that new wing, which I'm

going to dedicate in your name.

Mr. Wilson Wing for

lonesome animals.

Well, goodbye all,

and thank you.

Aren't you going

to take your radio?

-No, sonny, you keep it.

-Are you sure you wouldn't

like to take it back

for sentimental

reasons, or something?

-No, goodbye all.

-She didn't even give me

enough to pay for the ad.

-I'm sorry about

this, Mr. Wilson.

-Doh, if I'd only

let Dennis hold

my eggs in the first place.

-It isn't fair.

After all, you've laid

out $ for a golf cart,

gone to a lot of

trouble, besides.

Why don't you take

half of Dennis' money?

-Oh, no, no, Mitchell.

I wouldn't think of it.

-Truthfully, I'm glad

I have my own cart.

Probably would've bought

one anyway, sooner or later.

And you know, I

did get a reward.

Someday Dennis will leave

here and go off to college.

MR. WILSON: [singing]

I dream of Jeanie

with the light brown hair.

MALE SPEAKER (ON

from the local sports feed.

And I might add irritating

news for golfers.

Caddies on our local golf course

went on strike this morning

for double play as a lion had

been seen on the th fairway.

-Dennis, is that you

playing the radio?

-Yes, Mr. Wilson.

-Well, get in the house.

There's a lion lose in the city.

-Is it dangerous?

-Very dangerous.

Get in the house!

-OK, Mr. Wilson.

-And this concludes our

local news and weather

from Kenya Colony, East Africa.

-What in the world are

you doing with that?

I thought you were

going to play golf.

-I am.

There's a lion

lose on the course.

But I'm going to play golf

today, lions or no lions!

[theme music]