02x25 - Dennis and the Good Example

[bunniefuu]

-That's game, and an
extra trick double.

-Good thinking, Mrs. Mitchell.

-And of course, I double.

Hm, I haven't had a
decent hand all evening.

I don't know why I bother
playing this stupid game.

-Why don't we play
five-handed slapjack?

-It's getting close to
your bedtime, Dennis.

-I think I'll pass.

-I'll bet a spade.

-Oh, it's up to me?

-Yes, mother.

-A spade?

Well, let's see now.

-Hey, Mr. Wilson's cards
all look like Valentines.

-Oh, great Scott.

[theme music]

-Hi, bird.

Hi.

My name's Dennis.

What's your name?

Hi.

Hey, Mr. Bergstrom,
why won't he answer me?

-Oh, just stubborn, I guess.

He won't say a word.

And who wants an old mynah
bird that won't talk?

-I bet I could teach him.

Hi, bird.

-I doubt it, Dennis.

He's a pretty old bird
to learn new tricks.

-Hi, bird.

-I'll tell you what, Dennis.

I can't palm him off on anybody
else, so if you buy the cage,

I'll give you the bird.

-Jeepers, thanks Mr. Bergstrom.

But I'm afraid my
dad wouldn't let

me have a talking bird without
my mother's permission.

And she's still at my grandpa's
taking care of his broken foot.

-And who's taking care of you?

-My Grandma Mitchell.

Hey, maybe she'll help
me talk my dad into it.

But it isn't going
to be very easy.

My dad isn't going to be
in a very good mood when

he sees this report card.

-I'd, uh, let you
have him for, say, $ .

-How much do you want down?

-Ho, ho, ho, sorry, Dennis.

You know I don't sell on credit.

But you just think
it over, and you

let me know if you want him.

-Jeepers, I don't have
to think about it.

I just got to figure
out how to raise $ .

Sure wished I'd have paid
more attention to the teacher.

Well, goodbye, bird.

I'll come see you
after school tomorrow.

-Let's see, language
skills good,

arithmetic fair-- fair,
that's below average.

-Jeepers, dad,
arithmetic's hard.

-Well, maybe it is, but you
can do better than this.

-Well, perhaps if you
helped him, Henry.

-I intend to, mother-- every
night, before television.

-I got an excellent
in one thing.

-You did, what?

-Why, that's splendid, Dennis.

We're very proud of
you, aren't we, Henry?

-Physical education.

Well, I, I suppose
that's something.

-Well, it certainly is.

A sound body is
extremely important.

-Music good, art average.

-Average?

Well, in my opinion, Dennis
deserves an excellent in art.

Why, his colors are won--
well, at least I think so.

-So do I.

-Work habits need improvement.

Dependability unsatisfactory?

-Jeepers, dad, I didn't
mean to me unsatisfactory.

-No, I'm sure you didn't, son.

You're a fine boy and we
all love you very much.

But--
-I love you, too, dad.

I love you, and I love mom, and
I love my poor old granddad.

-That's nice, Dennis, but--

-And I love my Grandma
Mitchell, and I love Mr. Wilson,

and I love--

-Dennis, we're talking
about your dependability.

-One boy in our class got
unsatisfactory in everything.

-It's just a lucky thing
if that little boy's name

isn't Dennis Mitchell.

-Boy, it sure is.

I sure wouldn't
like to be that kid.

Boy, I'll bet when
he got home he--

-Dennis, we're
talking about you.

-Oh, I thought
we'd finished that.

-It's going to be a whole
new regime around here.

I'm going to help you
as much as I can, but--

-Gee, thanks, dad.

-You're going to have
to buckle down and start

doing the things
you're supposed to do

when you're supposed to do them.

-Well, I will, dad, I promise.

Can I go watch television now?

-Dennis, what did you
say you were going

to do when we finished
looking over your report card?

Your room.

You promised to go up and
straighten up your room.

-Oh, yeah.

Beat you to the
top of the stairs.

You said you were going
to help me all you could.

-Up.

-I think so, too.

-Well, here we are.

-May I help you.

-Oh, no thank you, dear.

Can't Dennis come
downstairs long enough just

to have a piece of cake?

-Now, mother.

Well, I'll go see
how he's doing.

-OK.

-Dennis!
Dennis!

-I'm doing it, dad,
just as fast as I can.

-Well, that's the spirit, son.

You're doing real fine.

Tell you what, when you get
through, you come on down

and have a piece of
cake with us, huh?

-OK!

-Dennis is working
like a beaver.

You know, I think
that little talk

I had with him did
some good after all.

Thank you.

Mother thinks I expect
too much of Dennis,

but he's got to learn
to be more responsible.

Don't you agree, Mr. Wilson?

-Absolutely.

Not that Dennis is
a bad boy, but--

-Dennis is a lovely child.

I know you think I spoil
him, but I brought you up

and you turned out all right.

-Well, there's no
argument there.

-If you ask me,
bringing up a child

is much like training a dog.

You're stern when they
misbehave, and reward them

when they're good.

-We all like to be
rewarded for good behavior.

-You may have a
point, Mr. Wilson.

Perhaps if Dennis behaves
himself and makes good grades,

I should offer him a reward.

-You got a deal.

Boy, wait 'til you see it.

It only costs $ and
it sure is a bargain.

-What cost $ ?

-My reward.

It's the most beautiful bird
cage I ever saw in all my life.

-Dennis I didn't say
I'd buy you a bird.

-I won't even ask you
to, dad, I promise.

I just want to buy the cage.

-Son, that doesn't make sense.

People don't buy bird cages
unless they own a bird.

-Well, if I owned a bird cage,
somebody might give me a bird.

-I, I wouldn't count on that.
-Jeepers, dad.

A bird cage is what I want
most in the whole world.

-Henry, I remember
some of the things

that you wanted when
you were his age,

and an empty bird cage doesn't
sound unreasonable to me.

-Tell you what, Mitchell, eh,
if Dennis earns his bird cage,

maybe somebody
just might give him

a bird to put in it-- uh, one
that isn't too, heh, noisy.

-The kind of bird
I'm hoping somebody

will give me isn't noisy at all.

-A bird makes a nice,
quiet pet for a boy.

And now that Dennis has
something to work for--

-Every child needs an incentive.

-All I need is $ .

-OK, son, it's a deal.

No television or a bird
cage-- it's up to you.

-Yes, sir.

-Here Dennis, have your cake.

-Oh!

-Sorry, Mr. Wilson.

-Mrs. Wilson?

-Well, just a tiny slice.

-Martha!

She starves herself all day and
then eats two pieces of cake.

Absolutely no willpower.

-Well, this is my last fling.

Tomorrow I'm going
to Dr. Simpson,

and he's putting me
on a special diet.

And this time I'm
determined to stick to it.

-Ha!

-Well, you wait
and see if I don't.

-Boy, I wished I had
to go to Dr. Simpson.

He gives the best
lollipops in town.

-Martha, tell you what I'll do.

Now, Dennis isn't the only
one who needs an incentive.

Now, it's no good
going to a doctor

if you don't take his advice.

But if you'll do
as he says, I'll

buy you a new evening dress
to go with your new figure

and we'll go out
dancing to celebrate.

-Now, you all
heard him say that.

-We sure did, Mrs. Wilson.

We sure are lucky to
have him, aren't we?

-Hi, Mr. Bergstrom.

I can buy the bird cage.

Only I got to wait until
next month's report card.

-Well, a month's a mighty
long time to wait, Dennis.

-Jeepers, Mr.
Bergstrom, you can't

give that bird to somebody else.

-I'm afraid you're so right.

-I just got to have that bird.

-Well, I wouldn't
worry about it, Dennis.

I don't think anybody
else is likely to make

me a better offer.

-Well, I better not
be late for school.

I'll come see you
this afternoon.

Goodbye, bird.

-There you are, Martha.

Now, you eat everything that's
on this list and not one

bite of anything else.

And take a few sitting up
exercises every morning.

George.

-How is she, doc?
-Fat.

-A-ha!-Otherwise, she's in fine--

[door closing]

-Hi, everybody.

Hey, Mr. Wilson, I did
real good in school today.

-Where did you come from?

-The pet shop.

I saw you drive by, Mr. Wilson.

-Hm.

Well, I suppose we'll have
to give you a lift home.

-And you can tell us
what you learned today.

-Thank you.

I thought you'd like to know.

-Go wait outside, Dennis, will
you, and you, too, Martha?

I want to take a look at George.

-Oh, oh, I feel fine, doc.

I just brought Martha down
to make sure she'd get here.

You know how women are--
full of good intentions,

but no willpower.

-Get out of your clothes
and climb up onto the table.

-Doc, I don't need
an examination.

There's nothing
the matter with me.

-Don't be nervous, Mr. Wilson.

He doesn't hurt a bit.

-Oh, I'm not nervous.

I just don't need
an examination.

-On the table.

-If you don't want
your lollipop,

you can give it to me.

-Oh, for Pete's sake.

Oh, there's nothing
wrong with me.

My blood pressure's
perfectly normal-- isn't it?

Oh, I wish I knew how
to read that thing.

-Let me know if this hurts.

-Ouch!

-You big baby-- I
haven't even started yet.

-No, but your hands are cold.

, , , , ,
, , , .

Oh.

-All right, George,
back on the table.

-Oh.

[groaning]

[whistling]

-What are you going
to do now, doc?

-Take it easy, George.

All I want's a little blood.

-Blood, what for?

Ow!

Ooh, that hurts.

How's it look, doc?

-Red.

-Well, that's normal, isn't it?

What's the matter, doc?

You look worried.

-You'd look worried, too,
if you had my overhead.

All right, George, you
can get your clothes on.

-Doc, I don't think
there's anything

seriously wrong with me, do you?

Doc?

-Yeah.

-Oh, well, now, doc, I
trust you implicitly.

If, if you feel you ought to
call in a specialist, why,

uh, you're the doctor.

I'll agree with
anything you say.

-Get your clothes
on, will you, George?

-But doc, all I ask is that you
be absolutely honest with me.

If, if, you think
there's anything wrong,

I mean anything
seriously wrong--

-There's nothing wrong, George.

-Now, don't you try
to soften the blow.

I'm a big boy.

Just give it to me straight from
the shoulder, I can take it.

-Martha.

-Oh, no, doc, don't tell my
wife-- she's not strong enough.

-You're both strong
enough to pull a plow.

Uh, wait outside,
will you, Dennis?

Let me see that diet
I gave you, Martha.

-Are you all right, George?

-Oh, of course I'm
all right, Martha.

Ha, I'm as strong as an ox.

I told him that before
the examination.

-You still have that
exercise bicycle?

-You know, I, I
was telling Martha

that she wouldn't have
to worry about her weight

if she just exercised
once in a while like I do.

-How often is "once in a while?"

-Uh, well, I--

-He hasn't touched it in months.

-Well, I don't need to.

I work in my garden.

-I want you to chalk up at
least miles every morning.

-What?

-This diet will be
fine for both of you.

-But this is ridiculous.

I'm not fat.

-Dear, it doesn't
pay to go to a doctor

if you don't follow his advice.

-Oh, fiddle faddle.

I'm as solid as a rock.

Oh!

-It's be easier for
me to stick to my diet

if we both eat the same things.

-Each of you can set an
example for the other.

-It'll be fun doing it together.

-But I am not fat!

-What is that around
your waist, a money belt?

You're fat, and I'm busy.

Good bye.

-But doc--

-I'll see you when you
come in to be weighed.

-Hey, Dr. Simpson, you
forgot to give good old Mr.

Wilson his lollipop.

Thanks.

Hey, Mr. Wilson, wait for me!

Hi, bird.

You know what I'm
going to call you?

I'm going to call you George,
after good old Mr. Wilson.

Because if it wasn't
for him, I might not

be getting you for my reward.

You like the name George?

[screech]
-Huh, George?

Well, I'll see you
again tomorrow.

Bye, George!

[screech]

times are .

times are .

times are .

times are .

times are .

times are .

- times are what?
- .

I was just seeing if you
folks were paying attention.

-Come on now, Dennis,
stop horsing around.

- times are .

times are .

-You've done that
already, Dennis.

Start with times .

-Yeah, but if I don't
start from the beginning,

I get all mixed up.

times are .

times are .

times are .

times are .

-Henry, it's o'clock.

Don't you want to
watch the fights?

-Oh, that's right.

- times are .

times are .

-Dennis, I think we've
done enough for awhile.

Let's take a breather, huh?

-Jeepers, dad.

We've still got our s to do.

-Well, we can do that later, OK?

-You said arithmetic
before television.

-You're absolutely
correct, Dennis.

Business before pleasure.

Go on.

- times are .

times are .

times are .

times are .

-A mile and a half?

Oh.

Ah.

-George.

-Well, there's
something the matter

with this stupid
register, Martha.

I've been on this infernal
machine for more than an hour,

and--
- minutes.

-Oh, then the
clocks have stopped.

-Dennis wouldn't think you were
setting me a very good example.

-Well, I didn't ask Dennis to
set me up as a little tin god.

-Not tin, dear--
gold, solid gold.

-Hey, Mrs. Wilson!

Hi, Mr. Wilson.

Hi, Mrs. Wilson.

My grandma says turn on your
television set right away.

-Huh, what is it?
What's the matter?

Are we being att*cked?

---and one, two, three, kick.

One, two, three, kick.

One, two, three, kick.

One, two, three, kick.

Well, come on, dear, you can
kick your little footsie higher

than that, hm?

And one, two, three, kick.

Keeping time, kick.

That a way, girls, kick.

One, two, three, and rest.

That was fine, dear ladies.

Mike is proud of you.

Well, I see we have a
newcomer into our little club.

Step right in my viewer
and don't be shy.

Perhaps you feel you're
not looking your best.

But you stay with us,
and before you know it

you'll be as slim and
beautiful as you deserve to be.

-Oh, turn him off.

-You exercise your way,
I'll exercise mine.

-And now for that
swan-like neck.

Uh, do you remember
what I showed you?

Now, chin out, head
back, and slowly around

and around and around.

Well, that's fine.

And now the other way.

Around, all around the town,
twisting off those double chins

and wrinkles, too.

That's the way, dear ladies.

Mike is proud of you.

-Why that strutting
popinjay couldn't

last six miles on this machine.

-Heck no.

That's sissy stuff he's
doing, huh, Mr. Wilson?

Jeepers, Mr. Wilson,
you're doing swell.

Only eight more miles to go.

times is .

times are .

times are--

-Well, you know that, Dennis.

-Jeepers.
- .

-You know something, dad?

-I know if we don't
get on with this,

there won't be any time for
you to watch television.

- times is the
same as times .

And times is .

And times is .

-That's right.

-And times are .

And times is .

And I bet you a hundred million
dollars that when I get there,

times is going to turn
out to be the same thing.

-You're absolutely correct.

-Jeepers, that's
very interesting.

-George, look, I've
lost another pound.

-Oh, well, good
for you, my dear.

MIKE DUVALL (ON TELEVISION):
Good morning, dear lady.

My, you're looking fit.

Mike is proud of you.

Shall we get right to work?

What do you say?

All right, hands on hips and
take a deep breath, like this.

Now exhale.

That's the way.

All the way out now, bend
left, bend right, and touch.

Bend left, bend
right, and stretch.

OK, girls, left, and
right, and touch.

Little faster.

Left, and right, and touch.

Left, and right, and touch.

-Hi, George.

Hi, George.

Hey, Mr. Bergstrom, he's
beginning to know me.

Hi, Georgie.

-Everything just
hangs on me, doctor.

-It's been good for
you, too, George.

You look more relaxed
than you have in years.

-Well, I don't feel relaxed.

Inside I'm a jittering wreck.

If I don't show
how nervous I am,

it's because I'm
too stiff to jitter.

-Well, you can come and help
me pick out my new dress.

That will cheer you up.

-There's only one thing that
will cheer me up-- the thought

that I won't have to
listen to or watch

that Mike Duvall anymore.

-I did it!

Hey George, I did it!

I got a good report card.

I'm going home to
get my $ , George.

You stay here with Mr.
Bergstrom until I get back.

-Now this report
card's more like it.

I'm real proud of you, son.

-Me, too.

Oh, grandma already
gave me my $ .

Come on in the kitchen.

Everybody's looking
at my reward.

-Oh!

Well, hello, everybody.

Uh, Dennis, not a mynah bird.

-Oh, it's all right, Mitchell--
this one doesn't talk.

And Dennis, you will have to
realize if a bird hasn't said

anything at his age,
he's too old to learn.

-That's OK, I like him anyway.

-Well, as long as you're
satisfied with your reward.

-Well, it's a big
day around here.

Dennis gets what
he wants, Martha

has a closet full of new
clothes, and I guess you

and I aren't any
the worse for it.

-Now, let's see, what would
be a good reward for a bird?

I tell you what, if you
buckle down and try,

I'll let you watch
television with me.

-Aw.

-Well.

-How do I look?

-Ah, as pretty as the
first day I ever saw you.

-Oh, you look very
nice yourself, dear.

Oh.

-Well, of course I'm
not any Mike Duvall.

-You're much more distinguished.

[dog barking]

-What's the matter with Fremont?

-There must be someone
in the backyard.

He never barks unless
he hears someone.

-Quiet, Fremont!

MYSTERY VOICE

-Hello, who's out here?

Who's calling my name?

MYSTERY VOICE
(OFFSCREEN): Hi, George!

George!

-Martha, it's coming
from the Mitchell's.

Why, they must be in
trouble over there.

-Hi, George!

Hi, George!

-Jeepers, George, that's swell.

I knew you could do it.

-What's going on in here?

-George can talk!

Jeepers!

Hi, Mr. Wilson,
my bird can talk.

We sure are proud of
you, aren't we, dad?

Huh, dad?
Jeepers.

-Hi, George!

Might proud!
Jeepers!

[dog barking]

-Be quiet, Fremont,
it's only a bird.

-Hi, Fremont!

Hi, George!

-Oh, for Pete's sake.

-Lift your little footsie
and a one, two, three, four.

Hi, George!

Mike is proud of you!

-Sounds just like Mike Duvall.

-I knew you could do it.

Hi, Georgie.

-And a one, two, three,
and Mike is proud of you.

[applause]

[theme music]